May 26, 2021 • 31 mins
You all know that Heidi loves answering your pregnancy questions! This week, Heidi is joined by What To Expect Community Director, Sara Stefanik. Sara has collected the most popular questions from the What To Expect community for Heidi - everything from symptoms, to labor and delivery, to the safety of some of your favorite things, like hair dye and blue cheese.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who baby A baby? I need you, Oh hell, I
need you. What to Expect is a production of My
Heart Radio. I'm your host, Heidi Murkop and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
(00:21):
what to expect every step of the way. There's no
question about it. Pregnancy comes with questions. We've got you
covered today on the What to Expect Podcast. We're going
to answer your biggest questions about what to expect when
you're expecting. And if anyone knows what moms and the
(00:44):
What to Expect community are asking about, it's my mom
friend Sarah, who oversees what to Expect community. Hey Sarah, welcome,
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here today. So
you have been literally part of the to Expect family
since day one. You live and breathe what to expect.
(01:06):
I would say, like no other mother. You have your
finger on the pregnant pulse and you have been behind
the social scenes on what to expect. And for anyone
who ever caught us on our Instagram lives everybody out there,
you know, Sarah and I like to get into all
the juicy questions. Nothing is t m I, nothing can
(01:30):
make us blush, but you are welcome to try for real.
I mean, we get into it. I just got to say,
for our listeners, it's been amazing seeing the connections that
you make with moms, whether it's in person at USO
showers or during our live chats. The experience is always
just amazing to witness, and you often become so close
(01:52):
with moms and their partners, some for years and years.
Your passion for empowering moms reaches across how many platforms
and borders. It's just an incredible level of support and
comfort that you bring. It gives me goose bumps and
all the time like tears too. So I'll stop my mushy,
(02:13):
my mushy moment now because we have a ton of
questions for you today. They came from our community and
for our listeners that use the what to Expect app.
You know, we have a very active group of parents
in our community and we also do want our what
to Expect Instagram page and that's where our questions came from. Today.
(02:35):
We have a variety of your biggest pregnancy questions including
symptoms and labor and delivery and so much more. And
then we're going to do a speed round at the end,
just to get a ton of information and really quick tips.
And Heidi, even though I've been doing this for a
really long time, I'm always surprised by the variety of
questions that we get. I like to say that nothing
(02:57):
surprises me anymore, but then as soon as I say that,
something surprises me. So therefore, there's always a twist and
no one size fits all when it comes to pregnancy
experiences or when it comes to pregnant moms or babies.
And the same goes for questions or answers to your questions.
So we're gonna have to get really really personal. Let's
(03:20):
do it. So speaking of personal, we're going to dive
in with questions. But first we asked our community what
they thought was one important thing every expecting mom should know.
And I just wanted to share this quote with you.
Not to worry. Everything falls into place, believe it or not,
you even begin to miss the hard days. Yeah. Yeah,
(03:43):
those those who are listening right now who are in
the throes of I don't know, like mourning sickness or
having that out of heartburn, might be saying I'm gonna
say nay to that. However, it might take some time. Actually,
if you're having a really rough ride in pregnancy, for
(04:03):
you to look back longingly on all of those symptoms
that you had. Maybe you never will or maybe you will,
but it is true. You're not going to save her
every moment of pregnancy. You might even seriously hate some
of the moments. But there is no matter what, there
is a light at the end of the tunnel. So
it's really important to keep your eye on that sweet
(04:26):
baby Price. And I think that's exactly what that mom
was saying. Yeah, so true. Um, so let's get into
these questions. The first mom that sent in a question said,
I'm nine weeks along, but when should I actually start
to feel pregnant? So you might be one of the
(04:46):
lucky ones. And those are the ones who might not
feel heartburn or not or vomiting. You may never have
a headache, You might not even feel all that tired.
If you peel a lot, you might be used to
being a lot, so you might not even notice the
difference with urinary frequency. So there isn't a single symptom
of pregnancy that is I must have that every single
(05:09):
mom has, even not getting your period. Some moms continue
to get their period during pregnancy. Um, so some moms
may seem to have every symptom in the book, and
just when I think I've covered every symptom in the book,
I hear of a new symptom somebody and I and
I have to add it to the book. But you
might not have many or any to speak of, or
(05:30):
you know, even any to complain about, or and this
is just as likely you might have symptoms that are
right around the corner. But the bottom line is without symptoms,
without yet feeling your baby kicking, which I know we're
going to cover later, without a bump, you know, besides
the bloat always get early in pregnancy. It is so
(05:52):
hard to actually feel pregnant. And you are not alone
in this because I actually worried moost because I didn't
have symptoms. I didn't know at the time. I was
just lucky, right, So no signs isn't necessarily a bad sign.
You might be lucky exactly. But of course if you
have any any concerns, you always check with your doctor
(06:14):
or midwife. So another question that we had a lot
of moms asking, and one in particular said, she's twenty
two weeks along, why doesn't she have a bump yet?
And I know we hear this a lot all the
time because here's the thing. You can't tell a baby
by its cover, so you would assume the bigger the bump,
the bigger the baby. Not so. And every mom carries
(06:37):
differently because every mom is built differently. First time moms
might not show as early as second and third and
fourth time moms, and that's because they're abdominal and uterine
muscles are tighter, so there's more resistance to the bump.
Popping genetics plays a role, skin tone, abdominal tone. Your
(06:57):
bump will come on its own timeline, and maybe you'll
be popping soon, maybe you'll be popping later, maybe you'll
pop overnight. Maybe it'll be gradual. You might be high, low, wide,
all in front, small art. Do not compare your bump
to anybody else's bump, including your own bumping your last pregnancy.
(07:18):
It's what's inside that counts. So if your doctor midwife says, hey,
what's inside is perfect, you know I'm measuring your funnel height.
Everything is measuring right, then you're good no matter what
you look like on the outside. Yeah, I feel like
the second pregnancy I looked pregnant the second I knew
I was pregnantly. It happens all the time, not inevitably,
(07:41):
because again, everybody is different, but it might happen alright, Hetty,
I love this question so much. I'm pregnant and baby
is constantly having hiccups? Is to safe. It's not only safe,
it is like one of the cutest things on the
planet to witness. Sarah, did your babies have hiccups? It's
(08:02):
one of my favorite memories. It's just sitting there and
like feeling that it's I don't know, it's just like
such a fun connection totally, and it is one of
my favorite baby tricks, hands down, you know, except maybe
those little hands poking out everywhere is also super cute.
But it's so entertaining to watch your belly is just
(08:23):
having these rhythmic, very very rhythmic spasms, you know. And
though you might not see them as early as the
baby is actually hiccupping, because you don't see or feel
the movement as early as the baby starts moving either.
Sometimes doctors can see it on ultrasound, which is pretty cool.
The babies are hiccupping. Why do they hiccup? Nobody really
(08:44):
knows for sure. Chances are it has something to do
with getting those diaphragm muscles working. It's kind of like
practice breathing, that's what they speculate. Some babies have them
often a few times a day. Others don't seem to
have any. Either way, it's all good. I love it.
I know. We got this question like a million times
(09:04):
when we were doing lives. When does your baby start kicking?
And is it different in your second pregnancy? Oh? Yeah,
So there is such a wide range of normal when
it comes to feeling babies first kicks. It might come
as early as fourteen weeks. Most moms feel that first
kick between eighteen and twenty two weeks. Sometimes moms don't
(09:29):
know it when they feel it. Maybe they think it's
gas because you certainly got lots of that when you're pregnant.
There's always that possibility. All those gas drigg movements can
be mistaken for fetal movements and the other way around.
First time moms tend not to feel it as early
as second and subsequent moms for the same reason that
(09:49):
they don't show as early. There's more resistance, so you
wouldn't necessarily feel the kicks though they are happening. You
will see them on ultrasound if you get an ultrasound. Also,
if you have a anterior placenta, which is a placenta
that's facing the front instead of the back, that muffles
a lot of the kicks. It has no clinical significance
(10:12):
other than you're always going to be thinking, I don't
feel the baby kicking. One thing you don't have to
worry about. For instance, you could feel your first kick
at eighteen weeks, not feel another one until you're twenty weeks,
or you might feel them every single day from the
first time you feel them, but you don't have to
worry about how many times a day your baby kicks
(10:33):
or whether baby seems quiet on one day until you
get to the twenty eight week. At the twenty eight week,
fetal movement should be more regular and it should be
something you should be able to count and rely on.
So every day from twenty eight weeks on you should
do a kick count. Lie down, because babies always are
more likely to kick up when you're lying down. Have
(10:56):
a glass of orange juice or or a piece of fruit.
Just stimul like the baby, and chances are you'll field
ten movements within an hour. And if you don't you
want to check again and then make sure you check
with your doctor. But before that it can be all
over the place, all right, Heidi. Before we move on
to labor and delivery, I have a really good question,
(11:19):
which supplements other than prenatal d h A do you recommend?
So for most moms, at least initially, no extra supplements
are necessary beyond your prenatal that you know you can
ask your doctor or midwife to prescribe it. There are
plenty of good ones to pick off the shelf. D
H is a good ingredient in a prenatal because there's
(11:40):
a lot of baby brain and eye development going on.
There are prenatals that keep even more of your bases
covered that contain iodine, which a lot of moms are
short on because many of us don't get iodine from
our salt anymore. Um Colleen is great for baby brain development,
and you shouldn't take anything beyond your prenatal supplement unless
(12:01):
it's been okay by your doctor midwife. And that also
goes for herbals. Now, in terms of other things that
you might need eventually, iron stores tend to run low
by week twenty, and at that point some practitioners actually
start routinely prescribing an iron supplement, and preferably a slow
(12:21):
release one because slow release is easier on your digestion.
I don't know, but you, Sarah, but Watts and moms
get constipated or get nauseous from the iron supplement. A
slow release one is often easier on your digestion. Vitamin D.
Many women are low in vitamin D, and a lot
of doctors are now doing vitamin D screenings early in
(12:41):
pregnancy to see if a mom is low on vitamin
D because it's a super important nutrient for baby making,
especially if you have dark skin or if you wear
sunscreen all the time, which walks the absorption of the sun.
Then you should talk to your doctor about your vitamin
D levels and whether you need extra vitamin D v
beeg nds might need extra B twelve because B twelve
(13:03):
is only found in animal products. If you have morning sickness,
if your skin is really broken out, you can ask
your doctor about extra B six. Some prenatal supplements already
come with extra B six. And then if you're having
constipation and leg cramps, both are very common in pregnancy,
(13:23):
a magnesium supplement might help especially at night, and of course,
a healthy diet covers the most of your nutritional basis.
I wish I had known about the leg cramp help
because that was like terrifying waking up in the middle
of the night with the leg cramps. I didn't know
what was happening. Oh yeah, it hurts. The important thing
is to flex your toes up instead of pointing your
(13:46):
toes down. And you can even do that to ward
them off. But if you have a leg cramp in
the middle of the night, that's the best thing to do,
not screaming at your husband. That was what I did.
If it works, listen, I mean, whatever gets you through
the night, all right, Hey ny, So the questions on
(14:12):
basically every expecting mom's minds are about labor and deliberate.
Starting off, how will you know you're going into labor
if you're pregnant for the first time? Okay, well, you
guys probably know this story already because I tell it
all the time. But I didn't know I was in
labor when I was in labor for the first time.
But that's only because I wasn't listening to my body
(14:33):
and I was one of those people who was so
afraid of getting to the hospital and being turned away
because I was in false labor. Don't be me. Listen
to your body. Chances are, if you listen, you will
know when you're in labor. Chances are you will know
it when you feel it. Because it hurts. False labor,
we worry about that, But for the most part, it
(14:54):
should come on somewhat gradually and then increase as time
goes on. Some times it starts and then it stops.
That's super annoying, but for the most part, it should
continue to get a little bit more intense, more regular.
If your water breaks, that's definitely a reason to call
your doctor and midwife at any time, even if you
(15:17):
haven't had any contractions, especially if you're pre term. Every
woman feels it differently, but you'll probably feel some pressure
lower back, upper side, aching, but aching sort of feels
like your period, lots of crampy feelings. You might notice
a change in your discharge if we're going to get
(15:38):
real about it now. One thing that you can't take
to the bank, though, is a mucus plug, because you
could lose your mucus plug at any time, like three
weeks out, even longer. Heidi, I was the opposite of you.
I went right to the hospital right away and then
had twenty six hours of labor. And the thing is
(16:01):
that they are suggesting that you don't rush to the
hospital because and some hospitals won't even admit you unless
you are five centimeters or sometimes in some hospital situations
even more. And that's just to avoid you know, labor
at the hospital being too long and possibly leading to
(16:22):
a C section. Yeah, definitely. I I learned the hard
way the second time around. I took my time. Um, okay,
So Heidi, we have another question that came up quite
a bit. That's about round ligament pain. What is it
and what do you need to do? And this is
another first time on moment of mine. I went to
the e er thinking round ligament pain was like a
(16:46):
sign of extreme danger and I needed to hurry up
and go to the ear. Yeah, and I always say,
went into check it out. So if you feel that
pain is so intense that you need to be seen,
an absolutely call your doctor or midwife and see what
they say about it. What this essentially is is growing pains.
(17:06):
And you know, as your belly grows, as your uterus
and baby grow, the ligaments supporting your uterus stretch and
that can be a pain. They're also loosening up in
in preparation for childbirth. All of this can can definitely
lead to those pains that you could feel on the
lower sides of your abdomen, often on both sides. It
(17:30):
could be down near the groin too, It can be
stabbing is usually brief. Sometimes you feel it more when
you're changing positions or when you're getting out of bed,
but it can happen at any time. I always suggest
wearing a belly support because that can take some of
the pressure off. And we're not using pelvic floor therapists enough,
(17:53):
I believe. So if you feel that you're having a
lot of pain, check with your doctor and see if
you can get or for to a pelvic floor therapist.
Another question, how can I tell if it's Braxton Hicks
or contractions. So everybody who's old enough or watches the
old episodes of Friends, there's one where Rachel, you know,
(18:16):
Rachel was pregnant, right, and she goes to the hospital
thinking she's in labor, but it's braxton Hicks. And you know,
I had a lot of Braxton Hicks with Emma, which
is strange because They're more common in second and subsequent pregnancies,
and she was my first. They are practice contractions, like
(18:37):
the dress rehearsal. So your uterus is contracting, not in
an efficient way, not in a way that can birth
your baby, but in a way that can still make
you plenty uncomfortable. And what you'll feel, which is different
from labor contraction, is that your belly bunches together in
feels super hard and kind of pressure. You feel a
(18:59):
lot of ussure, and it's got this strange contorted look
to it, your belly. And they can last just a
few seconds, they can last a couple of minutes. If
you're having a lot of them, like a lot a lot,
or you're noticing that you're having more than usual, and
they are more common in the last trimester. You can
(19:20):
have them anytime after twenty weeks, then definitely check with
your doctor. Don't be shy, make that phone call. So
for all the listeners that are, you know, approaching their
due date and they're anxious and they're really wanting to
bring on the big day, what are some safe ways
for them to induce labor. Okay, so first we got
(19:43):
to keep them baking for as long as we can,
as anxious as we are to hold them. That said,
if you are getting really close to that due date,
or maybe baby has gone for the late check out.
In my case, it was a very late check out.
There r d I Y tricks that you can try
(20:03):
at home. Most of them are safe. Um, none of
them are really backed up by clinical evidence, so it's
like no harm in trying these. Raspberry leaf tea. I
tried that. Seemingly it worked, but that said, I was
nine days late, so who knows, maybe I was going
to go in the labor. Anyway, it worked within a
couple of hours. Dates the dates that you eat, there's
(20:25):
some evidence you do have to eat a lot of them.
I think it's like ten at a sitting and if
you have testacial diabetes or otherwise you know, can't handle
the sweets. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but that might
speed up the process a little. Um sex, We've all
heard of this d I Y technique, and like I
(20:45):
always say, if it works, great, If it doesn't work,
still great. The same with having an orgasm. For you,
you're releasing oxytocin, which is actually can help start labor.
Probably not in the amounts that you need, but why not?
Why not go for the gust though sperm has prostaglandins
(21:05):
um similar but not as effective as those they use
in the hospital. Those might help ripen your cervix um, walking,
bouncing on a ball, eating hot sauce, pineapple Italian food.
People swear by these techniques. I mean, they all just
sound like really pleasant things for the most part. Anyway,
(21:27):
Once if you don't want to try at home, is
nipple stimulation that needs medical supervision. Nipple stimulation you'd have
to actually go at it for hours, and it sounds
like fun. Not so much fun. It could cause really
really strong contractions. Again, the principle of releasing oxytocin um.
Say no to castor oil, just say no, please, don't
(21:49):
do it. And I'm surprised that topic comes up a
lot still, and it does because it's passed down from
generation to generation. But it's got to stop being passed
because it causes intense cramps. That are you know, on
top of your contractions, you have intense cramps um diarrhea.
Oh man, you don't need that. Yeah, that sounds awful.
(22:11):
We have a whole list of other alternatives. Okay, Heidi.
Another question, is it true with a second pregnancy that
labor is a lot faster. Yeah, so, by and large,
in general, all other things being equal, it tends to
be shorter. What tends to be most significantly shorter is
(22:32):
the pushing. Again, you've got that lived in look, you're
more relaxed down there. Baby faces less resistance leaving the buildings.
So that's a good thing. But chances are you are
in for an easier time. I pushed three and a
half hours with Emma and just about twenty minutes with Wyatt.
Oh that sounds nice. I had the same number of
(22:54):
hours pushing both times, but the labor was cut like
exactly in half, So out that's a perk. I was
a little mad about the pushing part, but at least
the labor was quicker. So we are going to get
(23:19):
into our speed round, which we're calling help me Heidi
in a hurry. Yes, I'll try to hurry. I was
sure we're going to kick off with some true or
false questions, and then someone word or one sentence answer questions.
So true or false labor always starts with water breaking.
Oh that is so false. It's true only in the
(23:41):
movies and on TV that it happens every time. In
real life, it only happens about fent and the time
before labor starts. The rest of the time, the membranes
stay intact until labor has already begun. Really only while
they've really ran with that storyline, I know, because it's
(24:03):
it's dramatic, right Yeah, um, sure fault. My baby will
arrive exactly on my due date. Okay, So that's true
five percent of the time, and the rest of the time.
Now it's called an e d D or an estimated
due date for a reason. Yeah, five percent of the
time if that's when your baby will arrive, and the
(24:23):
rest of the time, who knows. I know. I feel
I've never heard of anyone that actually delivered on their
due date. It does seem so rare, okay, true or false?
I have to give up blue cheese false, Thank goodness.
False if you choose pasteurized cheese. If you know the
blue cheeses on your salad is pasteurized, go for it.
(24:43):
Hair dye is safe true or false? So kind of truish.
There hasn't been any evidence that hair dye is harmful
during pregnancy. That said, a lot of doctors and midwives
like to play it on the safe side and say
if you can hold off until your can trimester, awesome.
Many will also say that highlights are safer because the
(25:06):
product doesn't touch your scalp. But check with your doctor
and then Heidi, what's the best sleep position? So after
the fourth month. As of the fourth month, lying flat
on your back is not comfortable. It's also not as
safe because it compromises your circulation, puts way too much
pressure from your growing uterus. The left side is preferred,
(25:29):
but truthfully, any side will do whichever you can get
most comfortable on. And that's why I say bring on
the pillows, lots of pillows to keep you comfortably on
your side. And the other thing is if you have heartburn,
sleeping propped up is also going to help a lot. Okay,
best pregnancy exercise I mean truthfully, it's swimming. Swimming is
(25:53):
zero impact. It's also you get to be witless, so
who can argue with that. Um It even flushes out
x or fluids in your body, so I might help
with swelling. But any any workout that you enjoy that
the doctor midwife has given you a green light on
is fine, even if it's just walking. Walking is great exercise.
(26:13):
Why has my partner gained more weight than I have
during pregnancy? So that's the estrogen talking, and you're saying,
guys estrogen. Yes, guys actually experienced the surgeon estrogen and
it drop in test sasin when their partners are pregnant.
The net net is that they end up snacking more
and putting on some extra wait, especially in their bellies.
(26:34):
I guess that's called a dad bog. I wasn't mad
at it. I felt like, hey, at least I'm not
the only one going through something here. Right there? You go.
Weirdest pregnancy craving you've ever heard of? Okay, hand Sam,
this is going to be Rocky Road ice cream blended
with V juice to make a smoothie. I've heard this
one only once, but it resonated. I'm not going to judge,
(26:58):
because I don't judge, but who knows it's a good No,
don't knock until you tried it. Um. The runner up
would be pizza with chocolate pudding on top. I mean,
I might have to try it now, just to see
how to curiosity exactly? All right? Another question, I can't
eat Deli meats. Tell me what I can eat at
the deli, Chicken salads, fine tuna salad, eggs salad. You know,
(27:19):
a lot of moms get tripped up by the mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise is only a problem if it's homemade mayonnaise, not
made with pasteurized eggs, and very few delis are gonna
make the mayo from scratch. Ask if you're concerned. But
even then, lots of restaurants use pasteurized eggs, which are
are safe. Chicken salad that's made with fresh cooked chickens
(27:41):
so not processed chicken, aside of pickles, of course, is
good in any event. Okay, we all want to know
why am I six months pregnant and in the seventh months?
If this gets them every single time. I can't tell
you how many messages I've gotten about this. So when
you finish that full six months, then you enter you
(28:05):
open the door and enter into the seventh month. And
the same thing with weeks. You finish up five weeks,
you're entering your sixth week. It's confusing enough that you
are two weeks pregnant when you first conceive, right, definitely strange.
And then of course if you go full term and
you're going past your your due date. Then you're entering
the tenth months, and that's a hard is one of
(28:27):
all right, I was gonna say, I mean, I feel like,
no matter how you measure it, you feel like you're
pregnant for an eternity, Like it just feels like a
really long time. All right. So before we close, I
have one last quote that a mom sent in that
I'd like to share, and she said, don't push yourself,
take breaks when you need to. It's okay to be exhausted.
(28:47):
You're perfectly made for your baby. Every pregnancy is different,
so be easy on yourself. You're doing great, mama. I
love that. That's a really sweet way of putting it.
I would also say, just listen to your body. You
know your body better than anyone else. And if you're tired,
your body will tell you rest up. And if you're hungry,
(29:10):
your body will say eat. And if healthy food suddenly
tastes terrible, don't force yourself to eat them. Listen to
your body. If something hurts or it's bothering you, listen
up and speak up. Thanks Tidy so much for answering
all these questions today. We actually had a lot more
and we're going to do a follow up with some
of our very t M I question So I'm really
(29:32):
looking forward to that. Oh me too, my favorite kind
of question. See E then, Baby Love, my baby belof
I need you, Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening.
Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is
(29:53):
always here for you. We're all in this together. For
more on what you heard on today's episode, is it
what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also
check out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to
Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
(30:17):
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma Being w t E and of course at What
to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Beaterer. What
to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio. From
more shows from I Heart Radio, check out the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
(30:40):
your favorite shows. In my arms right on, just stay Nija, Nija,
Baby Baby
Who baby A baby? I need you, Oh hell, I
need you. What to Expect is a production of My
Heart Radio. I'm your host, Heidi Murkop and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
(00:21):
what to expect every step of the way. There's no
question about it. Pregnancy comes with questions. We've got you
covered today on the What to Expect Podcast. We're going
to answer your biggest questions about what to expect when
you're expecting. And if anyone knows what moms and the
(00:44):
What to Expect community are asking about, it's my mom
friend Sarah, who oversees what to Expect community. Hey Sarah, welcome,
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here today. So
you have been literally part of the to Expect family
since day one. You live and breathe what to expect.
(01:06):
I would say, like no other mother. You have your
finger on the pregnant pulse and you have been behind
the social scenes on what to expect. And for anyone
who ever caught us on our Instagram lives everybody out there,
you know, Sarah and I like to get into all
the juicy questions. Nothing is t m I, nothing can
(01:30):
make us blush, but you are welcome to try for real.
I mean, we get into it. I just got to say,
for our listeners, it's been amazing seeing the connections that
you make with moms, whether it's in person at USO
showers or during our live chats. The experience is always
just amazing to witness, and you often become so close
(01:52):
with moms and their partners, some for years and years.
Your passion for empowering moms reaches across how many platforms
and borders. It's just an incredible level of support and
comfort that you bring. It gives me goose bumps and
all the time like tears too. So I'll stop my mushy,
(02:13):
my mushy moment now because we have a ton of
questions for you today. They came from our community and
for our listeners that use the what to Expect app.
You know, we have a very active group of parents
in our community and we also do want our what
to Expect Instagram page and that's where our questions came from. Today.
(02:35):
We have a variety of your biggest pregnancy questions including
symptoms and labor and delivery and so much more. And
then we're going to do a speed round at the end,
just to get a ton of information and really quick tips.
And Heidi, even though I've been doing this for a
really long time, I'm always surprised by the variety of
questions that we get. I like to say that nothing
(02:57):
surprises me anymore, but then as soon as I say that,
something surprises me. So therefore, there's always a twist and
no one size fits all when it comes to pregnancy
experiences or when it comes to pregnant moms or babies.
And the same goes for questions or answers to your questions.
So we're gonna have to get really really personal. Let's
(03:20):
do it. So speaking of personal, we're going to dive
in with questions. But first we asked our community what
they thought was one important thing every expecting mom should know.
And I just wanted to share this quote with you.
Not to worry. Everything falls into place, believe it or not,
you even begin to miss the hard days. Yeah. Yeah,
(03:43):
those those who are listening right now who are in
the throes of I don't know, like mourning sickness or
having that out of heartburn, might be saying I'm gonna
say nay to that. However, it might take some time. Actually,
if you're having a really rough ride in pregnancy, for
(04:03):
you to look back longingly on all of those symptoms
that you had. Maybe you never will or maybe you will,
but it is true. You're not going to save her
every moment of pregnancy. You might even seriously hate some
of the moments. But there is no matter what, there
is a light at the end of the tunnel. So
it's really important to keep your eye on that sweet
(04:26):
baby Price. And I think that's exactly what that mom
was saying. Yeah, so true. Um, so let's get into
these questions. The first mom that sent in a question said,
I'm nine weeks along, but when should I actually start
to feel pregnant? So you might be one of the
(04:46):
lucky ones. And those are the ones who might not
feel heartburn or not or vomiting. You may never have
a headache, You might not even feel all that tired.
If you peel a lot, you might be used to
being a lot, so you might not even notice the
difference with urinary frequency. So there isn't a single symptom
of pregnancy that is I must have that every single
(05:09):
mom has, even not getting your period. Some moms continue
to get their period during pregnancy. Um, so some moms
may seem to have every symptom in the book, and
just when I think I've covered every symptom in the book,
I hear of a new symptom somebody and I and
I have to add it to the book. But you
might not have many or any to speak of, or
(05:30):
you know, even any to complain about, or and this
is just as likely you might have symptoms that are
right around the corner. But the bottom line is without symptoms,
without yet feeling your baby kicking, which I know we're
going to cover later, without a bump, you know, besides
the bloat always get early in pregnancy. It is so
(05:52):
hard to actually feel pregnant. And you are not alone
in this because I actually worried moost because I didn't
have symptoms. I didn't know at the time. I was
just lucky, right, So no signs isn't necessarily a bad sign.
You might be lucky exactly. But of course if you
have any any concerns, you always check with your doctor
(06:14):
or midwife. So another question that we had a lot
of moms asking, and one in particular said, she's twenty
two weeks along, why doesn't she have a bump yet?
And I know we hear this a lot all the
time because here's the thing. You can't tell a baby
by its cover, so you would assume the bigger the bump,
the bigger the baby. Not so. And every mom carries
(06:37):
differently because every mom is built differently. First time moms
might not show as early as second and third and
fourth time moms, and that's because they're abdominal and uterine
muscles are tighter, so there's more resistance to the bump.
Popping genetics plays a role, skin tone, abdominal tone. Your
(06:57):
bump will come on its own timeline, and maybe you'll
be popping soon, maybe you'll be popping later, maybe you'll
pop overnight. Maybe it'll be gradual. You might be high, low, wide,
all in front, small art. Do not compare your bump
to anybody else's bump, including your own bumping your last pregnancy.
(07:18):
It's what's inside that counts. So if your doctor midwife says, hey,
what's inside is perfect, you know I'm measuring your funnel height.
Everything is measuring right, then you're good no matter what
you look like on the outside. Yeah, I feel like
the second pregnancy I looked pregnant the second I knew
I was pregnantly. It happens all the time, not inevitably,
(07:41):
because again, everybody is different, but it might happen alright, Hetty,
I love this question so much. I'm pregnant and baby
is constantly having hiccups? Is to safe. It's not only safe,
it is like one of the cutest things on the
planet to witness. Sarah, did your babies have hiccups? It's
(08:02):
one of my favorite memories. It's just sitting there and
like feeling that it's I don't know, it's just like
such a fun connection totally, and it is one of
my favorite baby tricks, hands down, you know, except maybe
those little hands poking out everywhere is also super cute.
But it's so entertaining to watch your belly is just
(08:23):
having these rhythmic, very very rhythmic spasms, you know. And
though you might not see them as early as the
baby is actually hiccupping, because you don't see or feel
the movement as early as the baby starts moving either.
Sometimes doctors can see it on ultrasound, which is pretty cool.
The babies are hiccupping. Why do they hiccup? Nobody really
(08:44):
knows for sure. Chances are it has something to do
with getting those diaphragm muscles working. It's kind of like
practice breathing, that's what they speculate. Some babies have them
often a few times a day. Others don't seem to
have any. Either way, it's all good. I love it.
I know. We got this question like a million times
(09:04):
when we were doing lives. When does your baby start kicking?
And is it different in your second pregnancy? Oh? Yeah,
So there is such a wide range of normal when
it comes to feeling babies first kicks. It might come
as early as fourteen weeks. Most moms feel that first
kick between eighteen and twenty two weeks. Sometimes moms don't
(09:29):
know it when they feel it. Maybe they think it's
gas because you certainly got lots of that when you're pregnant.
There's always that possibility. All those gas drigg movements can
be mistaken for fetal movements and the other way around.
First time moms tend not to feel it as early
as second and subsequent moms for the same reason that
(09:49):
they don't show as early. There's more resistance, so you
wouldn't necessarily feel the kicks though they are happening. You
will see them on ultrasound if you get an ultrasound. Also,
if you have a anterior placenta, which is a placenta
that's facing the front instead of the back, that muffles
a lot of the kicks. It has no clinical significance
(10:12):
other than you're always going to be thinking, I don't
feel the baby kicking. One thing you don't have to
worry about. For instance, you could feel your first kick
at eighteen weeks, not feel another one until you're twenty weeks,
or you might feel them every single day from the
first time you feel them, but you don't have to
worry about how many times a day your baby kicks
(10:33):
or whether baby seems quiet on one day until you
get to the twenty eight week. At the twenty eight week,
fetal movement should be more regular and it should be
something you should be able to count and rely on.
So every day from twenty eight weeks on you should
do a kick count. Lie down, because babies always are
more likely to kick up when you're lying down. Have
(10:56):
a glass of orange juice or or a piece of fruit.
Just stimul like the baby, and chances are you'll field
ten movements within an hour. And if you don't you
want to check again and then make sure you check
with your doctor. But before that it can be all
over the place, all right, Heidi. Before we move on
to labor and delivery, I have a really good question,
(11:19):
which supplements other than prenatal d h A do you recommend?
So for most moms, at least initially, no extra supplements
are necessary beyond your prenatal that you know you can
ask your doctor or midwife to prescribe it. There are
plenty of good ones to pick off the shelf. D
H is a good ingredient in a prenatal because there's
(11:40):
a lot of baby brain and eye development going on.
There are prenatals that keep even more of your bases
covered that contain iodine, which a lot of moms are
short on because many of us don't get iodine from
our salt anymore. Um Colleen is great for baby brain development,
and you shouldn't take anything beyond your prenatal supplement unless
(12:01):
it's been okay by your doctor midwife. And that also
goes for herbals. Now, in terms of other things that
you might need eventually, iron stores tend to run low
by week twenty, and at that point some practitioners actually
start routinely prescribing an iron supplement, and preferably a slow
(12:21):
release one because slow release is easier on your digestion.
I don't know, but you, Sarah, but Watts and moms
get constipated or get nauseous from the iron supplement. A
slow release one is often easier on your digestion. Vitamin D.
Many women are low in vitamin D, and a lot
of doctors are now doing vitamin D screenings early in
(12:41):
pregnancy to see if a mom is low on vitamin
D because it's a super important nutrient for baby making,
especially if you have dark skin or if you wear
sunscreen all the time, which walks the absorption of the sun.
Then you should talk to your doctor about your vitamin
D levels and whether you need extra vitamin D v
beeg nds might need extra B twelve because B twelve
(13:03):
is only found in animal products. If you have morning sickness,
if your skin is really broken out, you can ask
your doctor about extra B six. Some prenatal supplements already
come with extra B six. And then if you're having
constipation and leg cramps, both are very common in pregnancy,
(13:23):
a magnesium supplement might help especially at night, and of course,
a healthy diet covers the most of your nutritional basis.
I wish I had known about the leg cramp help
because that was like terrifying waking up in the middle
of the night with the leg cramps. I didn't know
what was happening. Oh yeah, it hurts. The important thing
is to flex your toes up instead of pointing your
(13:46):
toes down. And you can even do that to ward
them off. But if you have a leg cramp in
the middle of the night, that's the best thing to do,
not screaming at your husband. That was what I did.
If it works, listen, I mean, whatever gets you through
the night, all right, Hey ny, So the questions on
(14:12):
basically every expecting mom's minds are about labor and deliberate.
Starting off, how will you know you're going into labor
if you're pregnant for the first time? Okay, well, you
guys probably know this story already because I tell it
all the time. But I didn't know I was in
labor when I was in labor for the first time.
But that's only because I wasn't listening to my body
(14:33):
and I was one of those people who was so
afraid of getting to the hospital and being turned away
because I was in false labor. Don't be me. Listen
to your body. Chances are, if you listen, you will
know when you're in labor. Chances are you will know
it when you feel it. Because it hurts. False labor,
we worry about that, But for the most part, it
(14:54):
should come on somewhat gradually and then increase as time
goes on. Some times it starts and then it stops.
That's super annoying, but for the most part, it should
continue to get a little bit more intense, more regular.
If your water breaks, that's definitely a reason to call
your doctor and midwife at any time, even if you
(15:17):
haven't had any contractions, especially if you're pre term. Every
woman feels it differently, but you'll probably feel some pressure
lower back, upper side, aching, but aching sort of feels
like your period, lots of crampy feelings. You might notice
a change in your discharge if we're going to get
(15:38):
real about it now. One thing that you can't take
to the bank, though, is a mucus plug, because you
could lose your mucus plug at any time, like three
weeks out, even longer. Heidi, I was the opposite of you.
I went right to the hospital right away and then
had twenty six hours of labor. And the thing is
(16:01):
that they are suggesting that you don't rush to the
hospital because and some hospitals won't even admit you unless
you are five centimeters or sometimes in some hospital situations
even more. And that's just to avoid you know, labor
at the hospital being too long and possibly leading to
(16:22):
a C section. Yeah, definitely. I I learned the hard
way the second time around. I took my time. Um, okay,
So Heidi, we have another question that came up quite
a bit. That's about round ligament pain. What is it
and what do you need to do? And this is
another first time on moment of mine. I went to
the e er thinking round ligament pain was like a
(16:46):
sign of extreme danger and I needed to hurry up
and go to the ear. Yeah, and I always say,
went into check it out. So if you feel that
pain is so intense that you need to be seen,
an absolutely call your doctor or midwife and see what
they say about it. What this essentially is is growing pains.
(17:06):
And you know, as your belly grows, as your uterus
and baby grow, the ligaments supporting your uterus stretch and
that can be a pain. They're also loosening up in
in preparation for childbirth. All of this can can definitely
lead to those pains that you could feel on the
lower sides of your abdomen, often on both sides. It
(17:30):
could be down near the groin too, It can be
stabbing is usually brief. Sometimes you feel it more when
you're changing positions or when you're getting out of bed,
but it can happen at any time. I always suggest
wearing a belly support because that can take some of
the pressure off. And we're not using pelvic floor therapists enough,
(17:53):
I believe. So if you feel that you're having a
lot of pain, check with your doctor and see if
you can get or for to a pelvic floor therapist.
Another question, how can I tell if it's Braxton Hicks
or contractions. So everybody who's old enough or watches the
old episodes of Friends, there's one where Rachel, you know,
(18:16):
Rachel was pregnant, right, and she goes to the hospital
thinking she's in labor, but it's braxton Hicks. And you know,
I had a lot of Braxton Hicks with Emma, which
is strange because They're more common in second and subsequent pregnancies,
and she was my first. They are practice contractions, like
(18:37):
the dress rehearsal. So your uterus is contracting, not in
an efficient way, not in a way that can birth
your baby, but in a way that can still make
you plenty uncomfortable. And what you'll feel, which is different
from labor contraction, is that your belly bunches together in
feels super hard and kind of pressure. You feel a
(18:59):
lot of ussure, and it's got this strange contorted look
to it, your belly. And they can last just a
few seconds, they can last a couple of minutes. If
you're having a lot of them, like a lot a lot,
or you're noticing that you're having more than usual, and
they are more common in the last trimester. You can
(19:20):
have them anytime after twenty weeks, then definitely check with
your doctor. Don't be shy, make that phone call. So
for all the listeners that are, you know, approaching their
due date and they're anxious and they're really wanting to
bring on the big day, what are some safe ways
for them to induce labor. Okay, so first we got
(19:43):
to keep them baking for as long as we can,
as anxious as we are to hold them. That said,
if you are getting really close to that due date,
or maybe baby has gone for the late check out.
In my case, it was a very late check out.
There r d I Y tricks that you can try
(20:03):
at home. Most of them are safe. Um, none of
them are really backed up by clinical evidence, so it's
like no harm in trying these. Raspberry leaf tea. I
tried that. Seemingly it worked, but that said, I was
nine days late, so who knows, maybe I was going
to go in the labor. Anyway, it worked within a
couple of hours. Dates the dates that you eat, there's
(20:25):
some evidence you do have to eat a lot of them.
I think it's like ten at a sitting and if
you have testacial diabetes or otherwise you know, can't handle
the sweets. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but that might
speed up the process a little. Um sex, We've all
heard of this d I Y technique, and like I
(20:45):
always say, if it works, great, If it doesn't work,
still great. The same with having an orgasm. For you,
you're releasing oxytocin, which is actually can help start labor.
Probably not in the amounts that you need, but why not?
Why not go for the gust though sperm has prostaglandins
(21:05):
um similar but not as effective as those they use
in the hospital. Those might help ripen your cervix um, walking,
bouncing on a ball, eating hot sauce, pineapple Italian food.
People swear by these techniques. I mean, they all just
sound like really pleasant things for the most part. Anyway,
(21:27):
Once if you don't want to try at home, is
nipple stimulation that needs medical supervision. Nipple stimulation you'd have
to actually go at it for hours, and it sounds
like fun. Not so much fun. It could cause really
really strong contractions. Again, the principle of releasing oxytocin um.
Say no to castor oil, just say no, please, don't
(21:49):
do it. And I'm surprised that topic comes up a
lot still, and it does because it's passed down from
generation to generation. But it's got to stop being passed
because it causes intense cramps. That are you know, on
top of your contractions, you have intense cramps um diarrhea.
Oh man, you don't need that. Yeah, that sounds awful.
(22:11):
We have a whole list of other alternatives. Okay, Heidi.
Another question, is it true with a second pregnancy that
labor is a lot faster. Yeah, so, by and large,
in general, all other things being equal, it tends to
be shorter. What tends to be most significantly shorter is
(22:32):
the pushing. Again, you've got that lived in look, you're
more relaxed down there. Baby faces less resistance leaving the buildings.
So that's a good thing. But chances are you are
in for an easier time. I pushed three and a
half hours with Emma and just about twenty minutes with Wyatt.
Oh that sounds nice. I had the same number of
(22:54):
hours pushing both times, but the labor was cut like
exactly in half, So out that's a perk. I was
a little mad about the pushing part, but at least
the labor was quicker. So we are going to get
(23:19):
into our speed round, which we're calling help me Heidi
in a hurry. Yes, I'll try to hurry. I was
sure we're going to kick off with some true or
false questions, and then someone word or one sentence answer questions.
So true or false labor always starts with water breaking.
Oh that is so false. It's true only in the
(23:41):
movies and on TV that it happens every time. In
real life, it only happens about fent and the time
before labor starts. The rest of the time, the membranes
stay intact until labor has already begun. Really only while
they've really ran with that storyline, I know, because it's
(24:03):
it's dramatic, right Yeah, um, sure fault. My baby will
arrive exactly on my due date. Okay, So that's true
five percent of the time, and the rest of the time.
Now it's called an e d D or an estimated
due date for a reason. Yeah, five percent of the
time if that's when your baby will arrive, and the
(24:23):
rest of the time, who knows. I know. I feel
I've never heard of anyone that actually delivered on their
due date. It does seem so rare, okay, true or false?
I have to give up blue cheese false, Thank goodness.
False if you choose pasteurized cheese. If you know the
blue cheeses on your salad is pasteurized, go for it.
(24:43):
Hair dye is safe true or false? So kind of truish.
There hasn't been any evidence that hair dye is harmful
during pregnancy. That said, a lot of doctors and midwives
like to play it on the safe side and say
if you can hold off until your can trimester, awesome.
Many will also say that highlights are safer because the
(25:06):
product doesn't touch your scalp. But check with your doctor
and then Heidi, what's the best sleep position? So after
the fourth month. As of the fourth month, lying flat
on your back is not comfortable. It's also not as
safe because it compromises your circulation, puts way too much
pressure from your growing uterus. The left side is preferred,
(25:29):
but truthfully, any side will do whichever you can get
most comfortable on. And that's why I say bring on
the pillows, lots of pillows to keep you comfortably on
your side. And the other thing is if you have heartburn,
sleeping propped up is also going to help a lot. Okay,
best pregnancy exercise I mean truthfully, it's swimming. Swimming is
(25:53):
zero impact. It's also you get to be witless, so
who can argue with that. Um It even flushes out
x or fluids in your body, so I might help
with swelling. But any any workout that you enjoy that
the doctor midwife has given you a green light on
is fine, even if it's just walking. Walking is great exercise.
(26:13):
Why has my partner gained more weight than I have
during pregnancy? So that's the estrogen talking, and you're saying,
guys estrogen. Yes, guys actually experienced the surgeon estrogen and
it drop in test sasin when their partners are pregnant.
The net net is that they end up snacking more
and putting on some extra wait, especially in their bellies.
(26:34):
I guess that's called a dad bog. I wasn't mad
at it. I felt like, hey, at least I'm not
the only one going through something here. Right there? You go.
Weirdest pregnancy craving you've ever heard of? Okay, hand Sam,
this is going to be Rocky Road ice cream blended
with V juice to make a smoothie. I've heard this
one only once, but it resonated. I'm not going to judge,
(26:58):
because I don't judge, but who knows it's a good No,
don't knock until you tried it. Um. The runner up
would be pizza with chocolate pudding on top. I mean,
I might have to try it now, just to see
how to curiosity exactly? All right? Another question, I can't
eat Deli meats. Tell me what I can eat at
the deli, Chicken salads, fine tuna salad, eggs salad. You know,
(27:19):
a lot of moms get tripped up by the mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise is only a problem if it's homemade mayonnaise, not
made with pasteurized eggs, and very few delis are gonna
make the mayo from scratch. Ask if you're concerned. But
even then, lots of restaurants use pasteurized eggs, which are
are safe. Chicken salad that's made with fresh cooked chickens
(27:41):
so not processed chicken, aside of pickles, of course, is
good in any event. Okay, we all want to know
why am I six months pregnant and in the seventh months?
If this gets them every single time. I can't tell
you how many messages I've gotten about this. So when
you finish that full six months, then you enter you
(28:05):
open the door and enter into the seventh month. And
the same thing with weeks. You finish up five weeks,
you're entering your sixth week. It's confusing enough that you
are two weeks pregnant when you first conceive, right, definitely strange.
And then of course if you go full term and
you're going past your your due date. Then you're entering
the tenth months, and that's a hard is one of
(28:27):
all right, I was gonna say, I mean, I feel like,
no matter how you measure it, you feel like you're
pregnant for an eternity, Like it just feels like a
really long time. All right. So before we close, I
have one last quote that a mom sent in that
I'd like to share, and she said, don't push yourself,
take breaks when you need to. It's okay to be exhausted.
(28:47):
You're perfectly made for your baby. Every pregnancy is different,
so be easy on yourself. You're doing great, mama. I
love that. That's a really sweet way of putting it.
I would also say, just listen to your body. You
know your body better than anyone else. And if you're tired,
your body will tell you rest up. And if you're hungry,
(29:10):
your body will say eat. And if healthy food suddenly
tastes terrible, don't force yourself to eat them. Listen to
your body. If something hurts or it's bothering you, listen
up and speak up. Thanks Tidy so much for answering
all these questions today. We actually had a lot more
and we're going to do a follow up with some
of our very t M I question So I'm really
(29:32):
looking forward to that. Oh me too, my favorite kind
of question. See E then, Baby Love, my baby belof
I need you, Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening.
Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is
(29:53):
always here for you. We're all in this together. For
more on what you heard on today's episode, is it
what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also
check out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to
Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
(30:17):
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma Being w t E and of course at What
to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Beaterer. What
to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio. From
more shows from I Heart Radio, check out the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
(30:40):
your favorite shows. In my arms right on, just stay Nija, Nija,
Baby Baby
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