April 1, 2025 • 18 mins
If willpower alone isn’t enough to stop numbing, what is? In this episode, Chip and Leanne explore why true healing starts with understanding the function of our coping behaviors—not just trying to “fix” them. They share the first steps to recognizing an unhealthy coping pattern, decoding what it’s really telling you, and shifting from avoidance to awareness. This episode is all about embracing discomfort as the key to freedom and learning how to break the cycle for good.
Visit Chip's website at: ChipDodd.com
You can order your copy of Chip's book, The Voice of the Heart: A Call To Full Living HERE.
Listen to the Living With Heart Podcast HERE.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
Follow Leanne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leanneellington/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Not here to preach.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Gonna keep it clean and talk to me and recall
where faith means fars nature and get in touch with
your creat with a bacon, love and jew.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gonzat?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Well sabosation? You should talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Donzato?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hey, it's Leanne here and welcome to a special series
on What's God Got to Do with It? And selfishly,
I wanted to bring this series to you. It originally
was created for Outweigh, but it is so apparent and
relevant to the journeys that we talked about over here
on What's God Got to Do with It? Where I
invited my dear friend doctor Chip DoD alongside a four
(01:05):
part mini series talking about why we numb and the
real root of coping mechanisms. You've heard them before on
the Godpod. His episode will be linked in every episode
of this series. But I wanted to bring this mini
series over to you here on What's God Got to
Do with It?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So tune on in and.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Enjoy happy Saturday. At way we are here back with
doctor Chip Dodd.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Hello, Hey, go see you again.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yes, id to have this momentum. If you missed the
first two weeks, definitely go back and check it out.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
The first part of this.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Series we talked about what addiction really is, what it
isn't and then last week we talked about why we
actually numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain
and seek comfort. And on both of these episodes we
got obviously the emotional heart side of it, because that's
where we're learning, is where it starts and it ends
right and where there's really no starter end but no ending,
i should say. But then we also got into the
(01:59):
neuroside of it and the logic and reason side of it,
and to help you meet your logic and reason brain
with your emotional spiritual side. So now that you have
this new awareness of what the problem is and what
the problem isn't, we're going to the next two episodes
we're going to talk about what does healing look like?
So this week we're going to talk about healing from
the inside out and learning to actually break free from
the need to numb. So we've talked about in the
(02:20):
past couple of weeks, why willpower alone doesn't work, and
how breaking free from that numbing starts with its true
understanding where where it's really coming from. And we went
into depth about where it comes from, which is really
the heart, right and that brain heart kind of dance
that's going on right now, and how you recognizing these
unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning to decode what is actually
(02:42):
being told. And we talked about the dopamine oxytocin connection
and really just the need to be needed but not
giving ourselves permission to be needed and to need and
the self sufficiency that comes alongside that. But then also
it becomes an identity, and we also feel shame about
our shame and that all the stuff that's happening within
that paradigm. And so now let's talk about how do
(03:05):
we shift from avoidance to awareness and then obviously the
healing side of it without Like we talked about going
back in our you know, old the skeletons are emotional graveyard,
and we talked to a little bit about how we yes,
there's a bit of embracing the discomfort and not relying
on the short term gratification track, which is easier said
than done. Right, So how do we start moving into healing,
(03:27):
moving from avoidance to awareness, big loaded.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Question, that is fantastic. I want to back up just
a little bit. I love you said decode, and you
also said shame about our shame, and so it's amazing
how far removed we get from being able to identify
our true selves. We have shame about our shame, and
then we say we shouldn't have shame about our shame,
which has a third level of shame. By the way,
(03:52):
I would love for everybody to back the episode up
and just listen to you, because you are power packed
with literally accurate expression of how we're made and what
we're made to do and so on. So I just
hope that people will continue to come back to any
episode you do. And he says a genuine affirmation, not
(04:13):
because I'm on your podcast, but I mean that you're
really bringing a wanting and a desire for people to
get what they need so they can be set free
to go live the lives they're made to have. Because
other people's lives get blessed when we dare to take
the journey into healing, because we become a place that
other people can find what they're looking for. And man,
(04:35):
look other people out there are alone because we're along
with ourselves, and other people out there are every bit
just like us. No matter how much they look a
certain way and we internally feel a certain way, they
feel the same way. And if we would just dare
to say, hey, do you somebody else is going to say, yeah,
(04:56):
me too. Like we refer to the woman last time
who went to her meeting and she looked around the room,
Will me too? I didn't know that could be so
close so fast, the people I've never met before. Yes
to this episode. I want people, if they would, to
go to chipdawg dot com, hit free resources and go
ahead and download. It's two little bitty expressions. One's called
(05:20):
the Amazing Gift of Feelings. I'm talking about like three
fourths of a page. Please, you can read that much
even in today's fast moving climate. And the second one
is the eight core Feelings and their purposes. Okay, because
that is the doorway into the rest of our lives
with healing, and we know that we our job is
(05:42):
to come back to living fully and then just simply
live until you die, but live fully until you die
because everybody's going to so there's no end to the journey,
there's a reawakening and then acquiring the skills of living
so that you end up riving to be somebody you
can who is reckoning that they're gifted. And there's a
world in need of our gifts versus just a shame.
(06:04):
And maybe someday, if I work hard enough, I'll be
worth something. You're already worth something, but you forgot You're
already worth something, but it was suppressed. You were already
worth something, but somebody told you you weren't. And whoever
that was was important enough for you to hide your
heart and put your willpower and thinking in front of it.
And so the willpower and the thinking took over. For
(06:27):
how God made a person to be to use their
brains to express their hearts rather than using their brains
and willpower to hide their hearts. Because once your heart
is committed to something, you will will follow, and once
your heart is committed to something, your mind will engage
in attending to it. But anyway, it all starts with
the amazing gift of feelings. So how do we heal?
(06:50):
We have to take a risk of facing that our
feelings are passwords. They help decode the mechanism the push
button thing to let us in inside ourselves. So feedings
are passwords that let you in yourself on your computer.
If you don't know your passwords, think about the times
I've lost my passwords and I freak out so I
can't get in to my whatever. Anyhow, I wound up
(07:14):
being so helpless that I want to numb out, run away, escape,
you know, jump off a building, you know, just quit
whatever it is I've had planned to do. So feedings
are passwords, and they are also lanterns. So once you
get in, they show you around, and they're also keys.
They unlock rooms in a mansion that we left behind
(07:39):
and never learn how to grow into. So I want
you to know who our true selves are, so much
bigger than we even know. It's an abandon Yes, it's
an abandoned mansion and it is. And there's one room
that we locked a long time ago. It's full of
light French doors in the back. There's a grand piano
in there, even we don't we don't even play. The
(08:02):
first is covered with sheets. We just take the sheets off.
But what's amazing is the one thing that's not uncovered.
There's a vase of flowers sitting on that grand piano
with clear water, a clear vase and fresh flowers picked
that morning that still have due. That means somebody's been
coming into that room, waiting and hoping on our return.
In other words, there was a home we left because
(08:25):
on some level we foreclosed on our hearts or orphered
our hearts. So returning to the feelings now upon the
doorway of the human heart, there are written eight words.
I mean, I know it sounds overly simplistic, but it isn't.
There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame, song. You
(08:45):
can look them up, but each one is a tool
that allows us to step into what are our needs
and what's through our desire? What are I long for?
What our hope? It's a return to how it remain,
which is what addiction and even our coping skills take
us away from. We try to cope in such a
way that we don't have to feel or become addicted
that don't even know what we feel right, So returning
(09:08):
starts to come with believe it or not, we learn
four questions. Here are the four questions. Once you kind
of get familiar with taking a risk of believing you
do have feelings, and they're kind of eight of them,
(09:31):
and at first you may not know the eight, but
here's how you can find the eight. You can say,
I don't know what I feel, but what would another
human being feel? In other words, you can picture yourself
being somebody else. What would that person feel in this situation?
Because we've spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other
people to see what we need to.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself. Or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like.
You shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say now, what
(10:13):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer. You can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank god we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score. When the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know, don't stop there. Your body's telling you an
(10:33):
experience and what's your body telling you that it's trying
to tell you that you're feeling like, go to your
eight feelings. Now there are just eight feelings. Well, guess what,
there are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight deals specifically and how each one.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Has a gift, which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know kind of when it's like if
they talk about clean pain and dirty pain kind of
type thing, you know, and a way to navigate and
kind of again decode your own feelings. And so that's
so so relevant to this.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a psycho,
an actual psychological term that psychologists us. So there you go,
we're masterminding right now. But I'll just share from from
your book. The eight feelings are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Guilt and glad and I'll blink it.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
In the show notes, we talked about this in depth,
and we talked about when you're on what's God got
to do with it? But definitely check that out because
it really becomes this navigation system like if you're lost
in the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So this is that for the heart.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
In terms of.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
This conversation of healing and what true healing looks like,
you know, we talked about we have to acknowledge our
needs and our emotions and boundaries right to break the cycle.
So before we end, if you were to just nutshell,
what does that process look like like this?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
It looks like this is there are four questions we
need to answer to really reunite with ourselves. This is
just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which is kind
of like what am I feeling? It's amazing. That's God's
first questions, where are you? To humanity? And the answer
that God was looking for was emotional and that's where
(12:31):
the human beings said, I was afraid and this is
what I did with it. So where am I? Which
is what am I feeling? What am I doing? With it?
What am I doing with where I am? Which is
taking ownership, which is using your mind to address your motives.
And then number three is what happened or what's happening?
(12:52):
What's the story the not the rationalization, but what's the
story of how I wound up where I'm sitting right
now are standing? And then the fourth question is what's
this like? And then there's a fifth thing finally, But
first you find yourself as much as you can with
the help of others. But then who do I tell?
Because remember you're created for relationship. You're created to find
(13:15):
fulfillment through connection to yourselves others in God. So you
got to kind of be able to start finding that
self to speak. So the five things, there are four
questions and then the final one, the fifth one is
who do I tell? I mean, who will care who?
And we find out a lot of times we have
restricted our lives to no one first, and I remember
(13:37):
that for myself. I picked up a phone one day.
It was nineteen eighty something, and I've got to call
somebody because I am so lonely. I found the lonely
and I picked up the phone and I ended up
looking at the receiver there was no one. Now I
could call people to see how they were doing, right, totally,
how you doing? Just call to see how you're doing.
(13:57):
To get somebody to care about me, I need to
carry about them, right, but no one to call to
say I'm in need. And there are a lot of
people out there who are really needing to hear somebody
say I get it, you know, like you know, yeah, sorry,
that's where it starts flu do I tell Yeah? And
it's okay if you find no one at.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
First, that's okay, it's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way it's it's a
product exactly. It's an awareness of like, okay, maybe this
is something to look into.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So and yeah, we talked a lot about that on
episode one of this series of really you know, finding
that the need to be needed, but also knowing that
it's it's human of you and that's something that needs
to be addressed because it's not going to go away
and to require not desire.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And you know, it's so good to leanne because you know,
we we have to face that we can't give what
we don't have. And if I'm not good at knowing
what feedings are. Also, if I'm not good at needing,
can I really step into the needs of another? Really,
I can't give what I don't have. If I if
I don't know what it is to be in need,
then on some level might meet your needs. But I'm
(15:01):
doing it for me, not as a way relating to you,
but really relating.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
You know, absolutely so oh so good recovery.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And definitely go over to Chipdodd dot com and find
out all of the resources. If you click on free
resources over there, you'll get the amazing gift of feelings
in those eight core feelings and their purposes when you
go over to that page and definitely check out his
Living with Heart podcasts. He gets to be all of
who he is and teach. What I would say is really,
you know, you you beautifully take the voice of the heart,
(15:33):
but you back it up with science, and then you
back it up with stories and experiences and you share
your own and those of you know, decades of working
in the recovery world.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing. Leanne You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart almost certainly for as long as
you're here, Okay, and see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(16:04):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of kind of like, honestly, look
at anger chapter in the Voice of the Heart. Anger
is essential. I was wanting something, desiring something, longing for something.
Once you have that, you'll get tired. But you your
candle doesn't go out, right.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Wow, Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, I needed to hear that. I know everyone out
there that's candle's gone out needed to hear that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
You absolutely it'll reignite.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Absolutely, Yeah, love it. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions. So we kind
of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
That center of that onion next week. So thanks for
being here and we'll see you next week. Bye, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We'll be back with more What's God Got to Do
With It? But in the meantime, I would definitely love
to hear from you, so just tell me where you
are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
(17:15):
Got to Do with It? Dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And you can do that instantly. So What's God Got
to Do with It? Dot com? You'll find all the
ways to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like and subscribe wherever you listen
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Got to Do with It?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
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Speaker 2 (17:40):
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Speaker 1 (17:45):
It really means so much.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
What's God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's written and hosted by
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Me Leanne Ellington, Executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, Production and
editing by Houston, Tilley and original music written by Cheryl
Stark and produced by Adam Stark.
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Not here to preach.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Gonna keep it clean and talk to me and recall
where faith means fars nature and get in touch with
your creat with a bacon, love and jew.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gonzat?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Well sabosation? You should talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Donzato?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hey, it's Leanne here and welcome to a special series
on What's God Got to Do with It? And selfishly,
I wanted to bring this series to you. It originally
was created for Outweigh, but it is so apparent and
relevant to the journeys that we talked about over here
on What's God Got to Do with It? Where I
invited my dear friend doctor Chip DoD alongside a four
(01:05):
part mini series talking about why we numb and the
real root of coping mechanisms. You've heard them before on
the Godpod. His episode will be linked in every episode
of this series. But I wanted to bring this mini
series over to you here on What's God Got to
Do with It?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So tune on in and.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Enjoy happy Saturday. At way we are here back with
doctor Chip Dodd.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Hello, Hey, go see you again.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yes, id to have this momentum. If you missed the
first two weeks, definitely go back and check it out.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
The first part of this.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Series we talked about what addiction really is, what it
isn't and then last week we talked about why we
actually numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain
and seek comfort. And on both of these episodes we
got obviously the emotional heart side of it, because that's
where we're learning, is where it starts and it ends
right and where there's really no starter end but no ending,
i should say. But then we also got into the
(01:59):
neuroside of it and the logic and reason side of it,
and to help you meet your logic and reason brain
with your emotional spiritual side. So now that you have
this new awareness of what the problem is and what
the problem isn't, we're going to the next two episodes
we're going to talk about what does healing look like?
So this week we're going to talk about healing from
the inside out and learning to actually break free from
the need to numb. So we've talked about in the
(02:20):
past couple of weeks, why willpower alone doesn't work, and
how breaking free from that numbing starts with its true
understanding where where it's really coming from. And we went
into depth about where it comes from, which is really
the heart, right and that brain heart kind of dance
that's going on right now, and how you recognizing these
unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning to decode what is actually
(02:42):
being told. And we talked about the dopamine oxytocin connection
and really just the need to be needed but not
giving ourselves permission to be needed and to need and
the self sufficiency that comes alongside that. But then also
it becomes an identity, and we also feel shame about
our shame and that all the stuff that's happening within
that paradigm. And so now let's talk about how do
(03:05):
we shift from avoidance to awareness and then obviously the
healing side of it without Like we talked about going
back in our you know, old the skeletons are emotional graveyard,
and we talked to a little bit about how we yes,
there's a bit of embracing the discomfort and not relying
on the short term gratification track, which is easier said
than done. Right, So how do we start moving into healing,
(03:27):
moving from avoidance to awareness, big loaded.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Question, that is fantastic. I want to back up just
a little bit. I love you said decode, and you
also said shame about our shame, and so it's amazing
how far removed we get from being able to identify
our true selves. We have shame about our shame, and
then we say we shouldn't have shame about our shame,
which has a third level of shame. By the way,
(03:52):
I would love for everybody to back the episode up
and just listen to you, because you are power packed
with literally accurate expression of how we're made and what
we're made to do and so on. So I just
hope that people will continue to come back to any
episode you do. And he says a genuine affirmation, not
(04:13):
because I'm on your podcast, but I mean that you're
really bringing a wanting and a desire for people to
get what they need so they can be set free
to go live the lives they're made to have. Because
other people's lives get blessed when we dare to take
the journey into healing, because we become a place that
other people can find what they're looking for. And man,
(04:35):
look other people out there are alone because we're along
with ourselves, and other people out there are every bit
just like us. No matter how much they look a
certain way and we internally feel a certain way, they
feel the same way. And if we would just dare
to say, hey, do you somebody else is going to say, yeah,
(04:56):
me too. Like we refer to the woman last time
who went to her meeting and she looked around the room,
Will me too? I didn't know that could be so
close so fast, the people I've never met before. Yes
to this episode. I want people, if they would, to
go to chipdawg dot com, hit free resources and go
ahead and download. It's two little bitty expressions. One's called
(05:20):
the Amazing Gift of Feelings. I'm talking about like three
fourths of a page. Please, you can read that much
even in today's fast moving climate. And the second one
is the eight core Feelings and their purposes. Okay, because
that is the doorway into the rest of our lives
with healing, and we know that we our job is
(05:42):
to come back to living fully and then just simply
live until you die, but live fully until you die
because everybody's going to so there's no end to the journey,
there's a reawakening and then acquiring the skills of living
so that you end up riving to be somebody you
can who is reckoning that they're gifted. And there's a
world in need of our gifts versus just a shame.
(06:04):
And maybe someday, if I work hard enough, I'll be
worth something. You're already worth something, but you forgot You're
already worth something, but it was suppressed. You were already
worth something, but somebody told you you weren't. And whoever
that was was important enough for you to hide your
heart and put your willpower and thinking in front of it.
And so the willpower and the thinking took over. For
(06:27):
how God made a person to be to use their
brains to express their hearts rather than using their brains
and willpower to hide their hearts. Because once your heart
is committed to something, you will will follow, and once
your heart is committed to something, your mind will engage
in attending to it. But anyway, it all starts with
the amazing gift of feelings. So how do we heal?
(06:50):
We have to take a risk of facing that our
feelings are passwords. They help decode the mechanism the push
button thing to let us in inside ourselves. So feedings
are passwords that let you in yourself on your computer.
If you don't know your passwords, think about the times
I've lost my passwords and I freak out so I
can't get in to my whatever. Anyhow, I wound up
(07:14):
being so helpless that I want to numb out, run away, escape,
you know, jump off a building, you know, just quit
whatever it is I've had planned to do. So feedings
are passwords, and they are also lanterns. So once you
get in, they show you around, and they're also keys.
They unlock rooms in a mansion that we left behind
(07:39):
and never learn how to grow into. So I want
you to know who our true selves are, so much
bigger than we even know. It's an abandon Yes, it's
an abandoned mansion and it is. And there's one room
that we locked a long time ago. It's full of
light French doors in the back. There's a grand piano
in there, even we don't we don't even play. The
(08:02):
first is covered with sheets. We just take the sheets off.
But what's amazing is the one thing that's not uncovered.
There's a vase of flowers sitting on that grand piano
with clear water, a clear vase and fresh flowers picked
that morning that still have due. That means somebody's been
coming into that room, waiting and hoping on our return.
In other words, there was a home we left because
(08:25):
on some level we foreclosed on our hearts or orphered
our hearts. So returning to the feelings now upon the
doorway of the human heart, there are written eight words.
I mean, I know it sounds overly simplistic, but it isn't.
There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame, song. You
(08:45):
can look them up, but each one is a tool
that allows us to step into what are our needs
and what's through our desire? What are I long for?
What our hope? It's a return to how it remain,
which is what addiction and even our coping skills take
us away from. We try to cope in such a
way that we don't have to feel or become addicted
that don't even know what we feel right, So returning
(09:08):
starts to come with believe it or not, we learn
four questions. Here are the four questions. Once you kind
of get familiar with taking a risk of believing you
do have feelings, and they're kind of eight of them,
(09:31):
and at first you may not know the eight, but
here's how you can find the eight. You can say,
I don't know what I feel, but what would another
human being feel? In other words, you can picture yourself
being somebody else. What would that person feel in this situation?
Because we've spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other
people to see what we need to.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Then you can know for yourself. Or you could say
what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Another way of doing it is describe what it's like.
You shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say now, what
(10:13):
is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
feelings being described? So you get closer. You can also
believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
some ways, but thank god we're actually paying attention to it.
Body keeps the score. When the body says no, your
body will tell you an experience. But I want you
to know, don't stop there. Your body's telling you an
(10:33):
experience and what's your body telling you that it's trying
to tell you that you're feeling like, go to your
eight feelings. Now there are just eight feelings. Well, guess what,
there are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book
The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
eight deals specifically and how each one.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Has a gift, which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
But then how also each one has its own impairment
and how you know kind of when it's like if
they talk about clean pain and dirty pain kind of
type thing, you know, and a way to navigate and
kind of again decode your own feelings. And so that's
so so relevant to this.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I heard it that I've heard it was like a psycho,
an actual psychological term that psychologists us. So there you go,
we're masterminding right now. But I'll just share from from
your book. The eight feelings are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Guilt and glad and I'll blink it.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
In the show notes, we talked about this in depth,
and we talked about when you're on what's God got
to do with it? But definitely check that out because
it really becomes this navigation system like if you're lost
in the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So this is that for the heart.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
In terms of.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
This conversation of healing and what true healing looks like,
you know, we talked about we have to acknowledge our
needs and our emotions and boundaries right to break the cycle.
So before we end, if you were to just nutshell,
what does that process look like like this?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
It looks like this is there are four questions we
need to answer to really reunite with ourselves. This is
just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which is kind
of like what am I feeling? It's amazing. That's God's
first questions, where are you? To humanity? And the answer
that God was looking for was emotional and that's where
(12:31):
the human beings said, I was afraid and this is
what I did with it. So where am I? Which
is what am I feeling? What am I doing? With it?
What am I doing with where I am? Which is
taking ownership, which is using your mind to address your motives.
And then number three is what happened or what's happening?
(12:52):
What's the story the not the rationalization, but what's the
story of how I wound up where I'm sitting right
now are standing? And then the fourth question is what's
this like? And then there's a fifth thing finally, But
first you find yourself as much as you can with
the help of others. But then who do I tell?
Because remember you're created for relationship. You're created to find
(13:15):
fulfillment through connection to yourselves others in God. So you
got to kind of be able to start finding that
self to speak. So the five things, there are four
questions and then the final one, the fifth one is
who do I tell? I mean, who will care who?
And we find out a lot of times we have
restricted our lives to no one first, and I remember
(13:37):
that for myself. I picked up a phone one day.
It was nineteen eighty something, and I've got to call
somebody because I am so lonely. I found the lonely
and I picked up the phone and I ended up
looking at the receiver there was no one. Now I
could call people to see how they were doing, right, totally,
how you doing? Just call to see how you're doing.
(13:57):
To get somebody to care about me, I need to
carry about them, right, but no one to call to
say I'm in need. And there are a lot of
people out there who are really needing to hear somebody
say I get it, you know, like you know, yeah, sorry,
that's where it starts flu do I tell Yeah? And
it's okay if you find no one at.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
First, that's okay, it's not bad. It's part of again,
it's part of what. That's the way it's it's a
product exactly. It's an awareness of like, okay, maybe this
is something to look into.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So and yeah, we talked a lot about that on
episode one of this series of really you know, finding
that the need to be needed, but also knowing that
it's it's human of you and that's something that needs
to be addressed because it's not going to go away
and to require not desire.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And you know, it's so good to leanne because you know,
we we have to face that we can't give what
we don't have. And if I'm not good at knowing
what feedings are. Also, if I'm not good at needing,
can I really step into the needs of another? Really,
I can't give what I don't have. If I if
I don't know what it is to be in need,
then on some level might meet your needs. But I'm
(15:01):
doing it for me, not as a way relating to you,
but really relating.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
You know, absolutely so oh so good recovery.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And definitely go over to Chipdodd dot com and find
out all of the resources. If you click on free
resources over there, you'll get the amazing gift of feelings
in those eight core feelings and their purposes when you
go over to that page and definitely check out his
Living with Heart podcasts. He gets to be all of
who he is and teach. What I would say is really,
you know, you you beautifully take the voice of the heart,
(15:33):
but you back it up with science, and then you
back it up with stories and experiences and you share
your own and those of you know, decades of working
in the recovery world.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing. Leanne You
will you will have a longevity in terms of the
passions of your heart almost certainly for as long as
you're here, Okay, and see, I want your audience to
hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
(16:04):
I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
passion that comes out of kind of like, honestly, look
at anger chapter in the Voice of the Heart. Anger
is essential. I was wanting something, desiring something, longing for something.
Once you have that, you'll get tired. But you your
candle doesn't go out, right.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Wow, Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, I needed to hear that. I know everyone out
there that's candle's gone out needed to hear that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
You absolutely it'll reignite.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Absolutely, Yeah, love it. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We will be back next week for our fourth and
final part of the series, talking about the courage to
feel and transforming your relationship with emotions. So we kind
of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
going to get to the core of.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
That center of that onion next week. So thanks for
being here and we'll see you next week. Bye, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We'll be back with more What's God Got to Do
With It? But in the meantime, I would definitely love
to hear from you, so just tell me where you
are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
(17:15):
Got to Do with It? Dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And you can do that instantly. So What's God Got
to Do with It? Dot com? You'll find all the
ways to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God
Got to Do with It?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
New episodes drop every.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Single Tuesday, and while you're there, be sure to rate
and review to show your support.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
It really means so much.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
What's God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's written and hosted by
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Me Leanne Ellington, Executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, Production and
editing by Houston, Tilley and original music written by Cheryl
Stark and produced by Adam Stark.
Host
Leanne Ellington
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