November 21, 2023 • 39 mins
In this episode of the "God Pod", Leanne invites you to redefine "surrender" and actively shift from self-reliance to God's guidance. Diving into the first ingredient AND the first "God Block", the focus is on Self-Acceptance as both an ingredient for a loving Self-Image and a potential block to receiving God's love.
Consider this episode a roadmap to recognizing and addressing your own "God Blocks", fostering self-acceptance, and taking practical steps to actually break through the "Paradox of Acceptance"...and how to accept yourself (even with all the messy bits) when you DON'T accept yourself.
HOST: @LeanneEllington
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
Follow Leanne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leanneellington/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Not here to preach, going to keep it clean and
talk to me and recause where faith needs all nature.
Get in touch with your creator with a bacon, love
and jo She even speaks Hebrew.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
What's that, Gonza? What's that?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's well said Patsi talking transformation?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
What's done? Gonzato. Welcome back to What's God got to
do with It?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we are here to kick off this new series
where we are breaking down this really complex topic of
worthiness and really what I call the paradox of worthiness,
as in, how.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Do you feel worthy when you don't don't feel worthy?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And if you're anything like me and the whole feeling
worthy thing just never fully landed for you, or maybe
you just still have resistance to it, then you are
going to love this series because we're going to just
break it down. So if you missed last week's episode,
definitely go back and listen to that, because not only
did we connect a lot of dots from previous episodes,
(01:22):
but also we just paved the way for this entire series,
including today's episode. So specifically I introduced you to what
I call the five Blocks to God's love and how
I discovered that for me when it came to actually
feeling worthy of really just you know, being loved and
not feeling like I had to earn it or like
(01:43):
you know, when I'm this or do that, then I'll
be lovable I mean loved right now, worthy right now
as I am.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That was really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
For me to grasp at first. It's it's kind of
like something that was blocking me. And like I said,
I call it the paradox of worthiness because it's like,
how do you feel worthy when you don't feel worthy?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Or maybe logically.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You understand that you're loved and that you're worthy of love,
but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, it never fully landed. And
it really makes sense too, right. I Mean there's so
much talk nowadays about self love and worthiness, but the
crucial question remains, how do we truly embrace it if
all we've ever known is the opposite? And how do
(02:23):
you feel worthy suddenly if you've all all you've ever
really known is feeling unworthy?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And for me, the problem was, like you know, I
was being bombarded with feel good affirmations and fake positivity
and platitudes that really failed to address my deeper seated insecurities.
I'm assuming the same things kind of happening for you.
And that's because, like we talked about last week, you know,
the science of the self image piece of the puzzle
isn't really even being talked about, which, hello, you know
(02:51):
by this point how I feel about trying to outsmart
your self image. And that's because our self image and
the wiring in our brains that's causing us to think
and act and feel and behave.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The way that we are. That is the problem.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But it's also the solution to worthiness, at least that's
how I see it, and of course it's when we
renew our minds. So back to these five blocks to
God's love. What I discovered was that when it came
to actually feeling worthy of being loved, and again I
mean right now as we are, you know, that didn't
just magically happen for me because of that resistance I mentioned,
(03:27):
and it was blocking me from truly getting it.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know, God wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't
blocking me. I was blocking me, like my thoughts and
perception of myself was what was blocking what was available
to me. Plus, as we talked about last week and
on the episode before that with Ketrick called Jesus take
the wheel from self reliance to God's guidance, I was still,
(03:53):
you know, doing and teaching self love and self worth
as something that you do strictly through your own strength.
In other words, it was this hyper independent reliance on
myself to do all the heavy lifting. And in a
world that often encourages that, like it encourages you know,
self sufficiency, this concept of letting go and allowing God
(04:15):
to take the lead can feel a little daunting or
if you're anything like me, it was totally foreign. So
before we get into any more of this relinquishing shame
and stepping into worthiness conversation, and before I share the
first god block and the first ingredient to worthiness, I
want to just reinforce again that it's not about doing
(04:35):
it through your own strength, even though you know it
might be what you learned. I know it's what I learned.
It's about shifting from total self reliance to allowing God's
guidance to come in. And that's why I'm really just
inviting you to see this topic of shame and this
topic of transforming your view of yourself in a whole
new light. And so if you think that asking for
(04:55):
help is weakness, and again, that was me most my life.
And if you str uggle with this idea of surrendering
your burdens over to God or a higher power, and
boy did I ever that was a big one for me,
Like I'll definitely be the first to admit that. But
if you constantly feel like you have to prove how
strong and how able or how tough or fill in
the blank you are, and again, there's absolutely no judgment
(05:17):
about any.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Of this, Like this was me my entire life before
I let got in.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
But if you feel any of those things before we
get into the meat of today's episode, I'm first and
foremost just re inviting you to simply try on a
new definition of surrender and really the profound impacts that
can happen when you shift from self reliance to God's
guidance and no longer looking at this as something that
(05:43):
you have to do on your own, but letting God
in to do the heavy lifting. And you know that's
not just your logic brain here, right, I'm inviting you
to use your spiritual brain or really see this through
spiritual eyes. And again, this was so hard for me
to grasp. So if this is a stretch for you too,
I see you, I get you, I totally feel you.
(06:05):
And remember, I'm not here to try to convince you
or persuade you into anything. I'm really here just to
invite you to see that you don't have to do
all of this yourself, okay, And once again like, really,
this is the perfect place to invite God in and say, God,
help meet me here, Like I don't even know what
it looks like to invite you in, right and help
me see what you see and help me with my shame,
(06:27):
and help me with depression or whatever it is you're
currently dealing with. Like, this is the perfect time to
just invite God in. So let's get into those five
God blocks. And like I shared last week, what's so
interesting to me at least about each of these blocks, which,
like I also shared, I've been teaching that, you know,
my five ingredients self imaging formula to my clients. I've
(06:50):
been teaching that for over a decade. But what I
realized was that those same five ingredients, when I looked
at them another way, they weren't just ingredients, and I
looked at them from another way, or or really it
was just looking at them through my spiritual eyes, I
realized that they were actually where I was blocking God's
love and really any love for that matter, from coming
(07:12):
my way and truly receiving it, right, because it's one
thing like all of us, I truly believe know how
to love, but receiving.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It, it's a blind spot for so many of us.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And that was that resistance that I was telling you about,
and that's what was blocking me from feeling the power
or really the truth in that. And that's why I
now call them God blocks. So on one side of
the coin, these five things are like magic ingredients that
add up to the recipe of worthiness when we're talking
(07:40):
about your self image. But those same things, if you're
not aware and if you stay blocked by them, they
will literally block you. Right and again, for me, God
wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't blocking me. I
was blocking me, and it was my thoughts and perceptions
of myself that were blocking me. And really the love
was there, it was available to me, but I wasn't
(08:02):
receptive to it. And so when I looked at those
same ingredients through spiritual eyes, these things that I was
once relying on like only me. Really, I was like, okay,
this is your responsibility, leanne or thinking I just had
to do it through my all, my own might and
my own strength. I realized that those were the things
that were blocking me from again, not just the love
(08:23):
of God, but the love of anyone in this universe
that wanted to give me their love, whether it was
you know, family, friends, relationships, you name it. But the
reason these five blocks felt so revelatory for me is
because when I simply became aware of them, right, when
I simply became aware of the five blocks and I
just started acknowledging them and kind of taking care of them,
right all of a sudden, they were no longer blocks.
(08:46):
They transformed into these powerful gateways or like kind of
like a bridge to connection and to so much worthiness
and so much peace. And it really allowed me to
invite God in right there and ask him to help me.
And then my prayers just became you know again, God,
meet me here, help me see what you see, and
help me unblock what's blocking me from you and remove
(09:10):
anything or unlearn any lie that is not coming from you.
And that's why I believe it's so important to recognize
your own god blocks, as in, what's keeping you from
receiving the love that's available to you right now. It's
not that it's not there, it's just that you're not
receiving it because you don't feel worthy of it. And
so what is keeping you from feeling like you're worthy
(09:32):
of receiving that love and worthy of being taken care
of or just valued beyond the size of your genes
or your bank balance or relationship status, right And that's
why I'm so excited to just get this worthiness conversation
started or really like like we're.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Doing, continuing it.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And so what I'm going to do is, I'm going
to break it down in kind of three different viewpoints.
I'm going to share each of the five ingredients that
become this recipe for worthiness within yourself image, Like those
are the five ingredients I've been sharing for a very
long time. But then I'm going to share how those
same ingredients, those very same things can actually be a
god block if you are blocked by them or don't
(10:08):
just feel worthy of receiving them. Okay, And then we're gonna,
of course take a look at what God has to
say about it. So let's just dive on in, okay,
starting with the first ingredient and the first God block,
which is acceptance or self acceptance. Starting with the first
(10:31):
ingredient and the first God block, which is acceptance or
self acceptance. And I started with this one specifically because
I really think it's the hardest one to sink in,
or at least it was for me personally, and it
really is for my clients as well, because when you
think of it, most of us are so focused on
what we don't like about ourselves, right and what we
(10:52):
don't have, or where we think we've messed up or
didn't finish something, or we haven't achieved something yet, or
we are just out right rejecting and self disrespecting ourselves
or you know, self abandoning ourselves, or that idea of
you know, accepting ourselves. It just might feel foreign, like
our brain doesn't know what it's like. And again, that's
(11:12):
how it was for me. I'm like, wait a minute,
accepting myself and not living in shame again, it.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Felt like a foreign thing to me.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So for purposes of this new conversation about self love
and worthiness.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I kind of frame it like this.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So first there's the side of it where you are
working on just straight up accepting yourself but without exception,
right without you know, it's not like a I'll love
myself except for that part. Right, So here's the thing,
accepting yourself without exception, but without all that shame and
blame and guilt and comparison ititis and perfectionism and self rejection.
(11:44):
So those are two different things. Like some people are like, oh,
I accept myself, but then they have all that shame
alongside of it. I'm talking about accepting yourself but without
all of that. And again this is simple but definitely
not easy. And that is why I call it the
paradox of worthiness, and in this case, it's the paradox
of acceptance. Like how do you accept yourself when you
don't accept yourself or all you've ever known is rejecting yourself.
(12:07):
So that's one side of the acceptance piece of the puzzle.
But also notice what I did not say. Notice I
didn't say that you have to like yourself all the time, right,
accepting yourself and loving yourself as possible, even when you
don't like what you just did, or even when you
don't like how you just reacted, or maybe you don't
like how you're feeling right or you don't like your
(12:29):
current circumstances like your weight or bank balance or relationship status,
like all those worldly things that we as humans legitimately
care about. And again, you don't have to like yourself
or your circumstances all the time. But what is possible
is just to accept that this is where you are
right now, or who you are right now, or your
circumstances right now, but without all that shame and blame
(12:53):
and guilt and self condemnation and self rejection, and without
all the comparisonitis and perfectionism. And I get it that
in itself is a massive pill to swallow. But all
I'm doing is giving you the awareness that this is possible, Okay,
because I used to think like, oh, this is just
who I am or how I'll always be. But that's
(13:13):
because I didn't know about transforming my brain and self image,
and I was trying to do it through my own
strength and without the grace of God and without the
like borrowing the eyes of God. And that's why I'm
simply inviting you to just ask yourself, like, what would
it feel like for you to fully accept yourself without
exception and without all of the shame and blame in comparisonitis,
(13:36):
and again not accept myself except for my weight, or
I accept myself except for my relationship status or job title,
or I accept myself, but I can't forgive myself for
my past. I mean all of it, like truly and
fully accepting yourself right now as you are wards and
all not when you lose the weight or make more
money or reach that metaphorical mountaintop. I mean right now,
(14:00):
and I especially especially mean those deep dark corners of
your life or your story or your past that you
don't want anyone to know about and where your toxic
shame lives. Like what if once again, you don't have
to like it or like your past, But where can
you move towards more.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And more acceptance that this is where you are right now?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
But again, just accepting the reality without all that shame, blame, guilt,
you know, the self rejection, the comparisonitis, all of it.
If this feels like too big of a stretch for
you right now, or if just accepting yourself and self
acceptance seems impossible right now, then that's what I mean
when I say that that's same ingredient to creating your
self image and the eyes of love and worthiness, that
(14:44):
same ingredient is actually acting as a.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Block, okay, a block to God's.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Acceptance, to unconditional acceptance, I should say, and to God's grace.
And by the way, the word nerd in me wants
you to know what grace means, because it's it's one
of those words that I didn't really use or even
know what it meant before I had faith life. So
the etymology, which is just the word origin of the
word grace means God's unmerited favor, God's unmerited favor, love
(15:15):
or help. And I just love that unmerited favor because
to me, that just says Leanne, you don't have to
earn it. It's free of merit or working for it.
It's acceptance and love even when you don't think you
deserve it, or even when you don't feel it for yourself,
and even when you haven't air quotes earned it right
(15:35):
and even in those dark places where you have deep
dark secrets and toxic shame, the grace and unmerited favor
of God is there in those times, especially in those times.
And so can we just slow down for a second
and soak that in, right, Like, can you imagine what
your life would be like if you just had that
kind of grace and acceptance that even when you don't
(15:58):
think you deserve it kind of love that even when
you don't feel it for yourself kind of love. Right,
And this is where I invite you to borrow God's eyes,
and it's the perfect time to just try on a
new story, like a new story about your ability to
be loved and accepted just like that, because.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
If you don't believe that you're worthy of.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
That, that's a God block and you need a new story,
like you've got to renew your mind. And so for me,
I shared in the very first episode of the Godpod
that I just tried on the story which was just
started out like kind of as trying on an idea
that God sent his son to die for our sins
and take away our shame and our guilt and our
self condemnation. And I tried on this idea that there
(16:41):
is a way to allow me to kind of you know,
rebirth myself and not have to walk around with all
of those stories and all of that shame any longer,
and just to step into this idea that I'm whole
and complete right now and that I don't have to
work for it or lose weight for it, or create
more business or financial success for it. That I'm just
whole and complete right now, and that God loves me
(17:03):
right now and it's this kind of love that I
couldn't even fathom with my own eyes at first, but
now I can.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
And that's basically the gist of the story that I
started trying on.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And so of course you can imagine like when I
started trying on that story, I was like, yes, like
give it to me, give it all to me, because
it felt so good. And in that same episode, I mentioned, like,
you know, I really just from there on out, I
immersed myself in these concepts for months to come, and
what I'm sharing now, you know, was part of that
process too. So again, if you can't see these concepts
(17:34):
with your own human eyes, just borrow God's eyes like
I did, right and borrow.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Jesus's eyes whatever resonates with you.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But what I'm really saying is borrow the eyes of
unconditional love and unconditional acceptance and grace and knowing you
so deeply and loving all of you, not just the
compartmentalized parts of you, And that in itself is a
big distinction, like this idea of like, wait, you know
all of me, even the stuff that I I hate
or don't like or have shame, and you love all
(18:03):
of me Like that is God's grace. That is unmerited favor.
That is the kind of love that isn't earned. It's
just there, and it's not just there some of the time,
it's there all of the time. But I believe it's
our job to unblock what's blocking us from receiving it
if we want to receive it. And for me, when
(18:24):
I borrowed God's grace, it was like I had access
to something that I myself couldn't really connect with, like
via my human eyes, right. But when I pictured that,
I had this heavenly Father that had unconditional acceptance and
that was more loving and accepting and grace filled than
I had ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It changed the game for me.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I also like to borrow what I view as God's
definition of love from First Corinthians thirteen four through eight,
and this is the NIV version. But and I'm sure
you've heard this before, but it's love is patient, Love
is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast.
It is not proud, It does not dishonor others. It
is not self seeking, It is not easily angered.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
It keeps no.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Record of wrongdoings. Let me say that again, it keeps
no record of wrongdoings. And love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. And that was from Corinthians thirteen
four through eight.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
And that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
God's love is filled with unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.
But if you don't accept yourself, you are outright blocking
that love from God, like he's not giving it, but
you're not able to receive it. So again, the block
is coming from you, not from God. I just want
to reiterate that, right, But it's not being blocked from God.
You're blocking anyone else to truly give you the love
(19:48):
that's available to you. But if you don't feel worthy
of receiving it, it's like it's not even there.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
So again, just to reiterate, God's not blocking you, right.
God's love is all.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
There, not just some of the time. All the time.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
But if you are not feeling worthy of receiving it,
that is the block.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
There's no shame in it.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
It's not one of those things where I'm trying to
shame you because you're blocking it. I'm just trying to
keep a help you create awareness because the truth is
most women are walking around outright rejecting themselves or feeling
disconnected from themselves and actively focusing on the things that
they don't accept about themselves. And so this is a
major problem when it comes to your self image and
(20:29):
when it comes to receiving the love that's available to
you right now. And that's why self acceptance is like
I said, it's both an ingredient to a self loving
and worthy self image. But that same thing, if you
don't believe it or feel it, it's outright blocking you
from receiving that love. And again that's the paradox of
worthiness and the paradox of self acceptance.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
But here's the big distinction that I really want you
to get between those two things, because again, same thing.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
One is a beautiful ingredient and one is a block.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
So you know, like I talked about, there's a paradox
to worthiness and in this case, the paradox to accepting yourself,
like you know, accepting yourself when you don't accept yourself,
it's a catch twenty two.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
And so when it comes to the ingredient of self
acceptance as part of the recipe of your self image,
this is where I believe that when it comes to
our own self image, like I believe it's our job
to take radical ownership of it. And this is where
we put in the work as a human because if
we want something to be different, we need to see
and do differently.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
But on the flip side, when it comes to the
side of the coin where the concept of acceptance is
a God block and it's blocking you from receiving the
love that's available to you, that's where I'm here to
plant this seed in your brain. Like what if the
God blocks side of it wasn't yours to break through?
Like what if that's where you invited God into it?
(21:59):
Like what if it wasn't your job and it wasn't
your responsibility or at least not fully. And remember what
we said about self reliance, right, like what if this
is where you move into God's guidance instead of self
reliance or God reliance instead of self reliance. And that
is where you invite God into it and you ask
God to help you and meet you there. And by
(22:21):
the way, just to make it super simple, because I
know for me, the whole prayer side of things felt
really overwhelming and complicated. So to make it simple, like
what if it really was just as simple as praying
something like, Hey, God, please show me where I'm shaming
myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes, and God,
please show me what you see. So, for example, that prayer,
(22:42):
if you prayed it over and over again. The reason
I love that specific prayer is because the first half,
where you say God, please show me where I'm shaming
myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes, you're asking
for revelation and wisdom and really just awareness of what
you're trying to walk away from or at least what
you're in the process of transforming.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And then the second half where you say God, please
show me what you see, you are asking for a
new view and a new belief and in turn, a
new identity. And I'm telling you, if you pray this
over and over again, he will show you. He will
meet you there, He will give you that revelation you
are seeking.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
And how do I know this?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, this is again where it's not just my faith talking,
even though that's a big part of it, but it's
also what neuroscience says. I mean, what we focus on
expands and we become what we practice or the way
I teach my clients what we give air to. So
air just stands for attention, intension and repetition. So attention, intension,
(23:41):
repetition is air. And whatever you give air to, it
grows and expands and it just becomes you, like your
brain will learn it and it will just become part
of the way you think. Obviously you've got to, you know,
believe it, but you must renew your mind and you
must practice it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And so that's an invitation in its own right.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Like what if you gave air to that prayer and
you gave attention intension, repetition to God, Please show me
where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes?
And then God, please show me what you see. And
you're not like you know, butterflying and roses the truth,
like this is nothing that you're having to convince yourself about,
(24:21):
Like you're literally meeting yourself in the fact that you're like, okay, please,
like show me where I am not seeing myself through
your eyes where there's a block, and then show me
what you see, Like that's just my invitation to you.
And really that is the big picture side of acceptance
that I wanted you to get access to and just
start seeing and just planting these seeds. And of course
(24:41):
that means that unconditional, grace filled kind of acceptance that
we're talking about, Like you don't have to earn it,
it's unmerited, it's just favor like God is favoring you.
And yeah, like there is a part in it that
you play when it comes to taking radical ownership of
your self image, Like there's there's a personal responsibility part
of it, right, and you're learning through this podcast, like
(25:02):
there is a science to the self image, so my
logic and reason people.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Listening you can grasp onto that.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
But the side of acceptance where it is a God
block and it's blocking you from receiving that acceptance, and yes,
it's a catch twenty two because it's what you need,
but it's also what's blocking you, right, But the big
distinction being that block is not yours to do anything
about okay. That God block is where you ask God
to show you his power and all you have to
(25:29):
do is surrender and ask him in prayerful request again, God,
please show me where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing
myself through your eyes, and God, please show me what
you see. And that really is the nutshell of all this.
But there's one more thing I want to mention about
this topic before we wrap this episode, because there's another
side of self acceptance that I did mention a bit
(25:51):
briefly a bit earlier in this episode, but because it
doesn't really get talked about very much, I want to
just take a moment to explore another side of self
acceptance too, and it's this really learning to accept where
you are and who you are and what is okay.
In other words, accepting your reality as it stands right now,
(26:12):
aka you know your circumstances even when you don't like it,
or when you don't like your circumstances, and accepting the
reality that, hey, this is what I weigh right now
even if I don't like it, or accepting the reality
that you know, this is my financial circumstance right now,
even if you don't like it. Or just accepting the
reality that this is what's going on in your relationship
(26:34):
right now, even if you don't like it, and heck,
you might outright hate something that's happening in your life,
but it's so important that you are at least accepting that, like, Okay,
this is what's happening right now, and just accepting the
reality of it. And this is where I want to
share one of my favorite non biblical quotes by Byron Katie,
and she says, when you argue with reality, you suffer.
(26:57):
When you argue with reality, you suffer. So just let
that sink in. Okay, how many of you listening are
arguing with your current reality and creating suffering, or maybe
you're arguing with your current circumstances, or maybe you're arguing
with God and by default you're staying stuck focusing on
the problem and not stepping into a solution. Because it's
(27:21):
not our circumstances that make us feel mad or sad
or ashamed or angry or anxious, even though sometimes it
feels like it does. It's our thoughts about our circumstances
that cause us to feel those feelings. And the cool
thing is is that you get to choose your thoughts.
And yeah, you have to learn how to shift your
thoughts if you want to think about things differently, but
it's something that you can and I'll even go as
(27:43):
far as say should learn to do. So whatever your
circumstances are right now, in your life and your relationships,
or your health and your body, your finances, whatever, it's
not your circumstances causing you sadness or shame or if
your anxiety, right, it's your thoughts about your circumstances causing
those feelings. But those thoughts aren't going to change your
(28:04):
circumstances right now, this very moment. But thinking better thoughts
or surrendering and finding better feeling thoughts can and will
change how you feel right now. So the circumstances won't change,
but you can change how you feel about them right now.
And that's why it's so important to renew your mind.
And yeah, I know, like again, this is where faith
(28:25):
comes in. And like I say, it takes faith to
have faith that you know everything will work out in
the end, especially when you're kind of in the midst
of crappy circumstances.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Right But this is where I'm also here to.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Tell you you don't always have to like the reality
of what's happening. Okay, You're allowed to accept where you
are right now, but you don't always have to like it.
And I think people think like, no, I need to
put on a happy face, I need to think positively,
But you're skipping over the suck like when something feel
and when something sucks like it's really important to not
skip over it and let yourself feel the feelings.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Like You're allowed to.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Be sad and mad and angry and upset and disappointed,
all of it. But again, how you show up in
the face of those big feelings is what's going to
make the biggest difference. And for me, this is when
I found the thing that helps me most is surrendering
to God and just being like, hey, God, I don't
like this, and in fact I kind of hate it, right,
but I'm praying and hopeful that you are going to
(29:22):
show me how it's going to be used for good,
or how I'm going to grow from this or something right.
And again, prayers like that they don't change your circumstances,
but it sure does shift your state. Okay, And let's
be honest, what is the alternative to not accepting your
reality right it's living in a non reality and pretending
like what's happening isn't even happening. But the reality is
(29:45):
is like, you can't go back and change what already
happened right where you are right now in your life,
your body, your journey, your relationships whatever, so relationships with
humans and relationship with God. Obviously you can't change what's
already happened up until today, right as it stands right now,
the data, the reality of where you are right now,
(30:06):
it's already taken place right but you can choose to
believe that everything that has happened has brought you to
this moment in the here and now. And I don't
mean butterflies and unicorns and fake positivity. I just mean saying, hey,
I don't like it, but this is what's happening right now.
Because the alternative of wishing it away and shaming it,
(30:27):
blaming it or comparing it is not only a losing game,
but it will cause you to live life in your past.
So here's what I say about it. You don't always
have to like everything about yourself, your body, your circumstances,
and you're allowed to want to go change those things
and upgrade yourself or up level elements of your life.
(30:47):
Right but I invite you to learn to accept where
you are and who you are and what is actually
happening right now while you go, because what is the alternative.
You're going to end up rejecting yourself and disconnecting from
yourself and living your life looking backwards, living life in
the past.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
And that is the opposite of acceptance.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
And you do have another option though, like you can
learn self acceptance and look at learning it and unblocking
it like it's a skill, kind of like you know,
riding a bike or playing the tuba is a skill,
right Because until you do that thing, and in this
case we're talking about self acceptance, that thing will outright
block you from receiving the love that's already available to
(31:30):
you right now. And I promise it's here right now
and you don't have to earn it or lose weight
for it, or make money for it, whatever. It's just
there right now. But if you don't feel worthy of
receiving it because it's blocked, it's as if it's not
even there. Because again, like you've heard me say before,
what you see is who you be. And so if
(31:51):
you look for rejection and disconnection and disappointment, you're gonna
find it and you're gonna be it. But if you
look for acceptance and that unconditional love and grace and
care and that you know, unconditional kind of love even
when you don't think you deserve it kind of love,
you'll find it and you'll be it. So now let's
just take a look to God's word a bit more
(32:13):
to shift this self acceptance block. Okay, so Ephesians two eight,
and this is the NIV version as well. It says,
for it is by grace you have been saved through faith.
And this is not from yourselves, It is the gift
of God. And to me, this is a reminder that
again the love of God is here for me right now,
and I don't have to earn it or work for it.
(32:36):
All I have to do is receive it. And again,
accepting yourself and receiving that love from God is a
paradox in a way, and that's why I'm simply planting
this seed in your awareness. But I also love that
this specific scripture says it's by grace you have been saved.
And remember what the word grace means. It means God's
(32:57):
unmerited favor or love, so favor that in a way
doesn't make sense, right, But that's why it's such a
powerful lens to borrow, to really borrow the love and
acceptance and grace of God.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
But also notice it also says it's a gift.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Okay, it's a gift, give yourself the gift of receiving
that gift. God wants you and all of his children
to have that gift. I also love this one from
Romans five eight, and it's also the NIV version. But
God demonstrates his own love for us in this while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Now, notice
(33:33):
how it's said, but God demonstrates his own love for
us in this. So it's like, how can we know
that God loves us because he demonstrates it. He laid
down his life for us, and Jesus didn't go to
the cross for us because we were good, but because
instead he loves us. That's why he did that, right,
And to me, this shows me how much God loves
me and how much.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
He loves you.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And he gave us what we desperately needed, but not
necessarily what we think we deserve, and that's because grace
is that unmerited favor even when you don't think you
deserve it. But the verse also says, while we were
still sinners, and notice God didn't say, like, I'll die
for you once you earn it. Like again, we weren't
(34:16):
worthy of God's sacrifice for all of us because all
of us sin and all of us experience hopelessness and
feeling lost.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I mean, I know, I sure do.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But Jesus died for us, and God loves us so
much that he took on our punishment. And in a way,
this is the heart of the gospel, like we are
just loved by God, and I honestly we're in a way,
we're hopeless on our own, and because of God we
can find hope in a new life. Right And that's
why if you are still punishing yourself or rejecting yourself
(34:44):
for outright not accepting yourself or accepting yourself but not
really because you're coincidedly wrapped up in toxic shame, then
this is where I invite you to invite God in.
And that's all I'm inviting you to do right here,
right now, Like I'm just inviting you to really empty
your cup, and forget about what you think you know,
what you think, you don't know, what you think you
(35:06):
might not even be interested in knowing, and just open
your mind, your heart, and your spirit to possibility and
just try on a story or a framework that meets
you exactly where you are on your own journey, because
there's no judgment, there's no shame. And of course I'm
not here to try to convince or persuade or coerce
you into anything, and I don't want you to worry
(35:27):
about whether you're you know, doing it right. But I'm
just inviting you try on a story. And what if
you just tried on this story right? That self acceptance
is both an ingredient to a loving and worthy self image,
But that same thing, self acceptance or acceptance, if you
don't believe it or feel it, it's outright blocking you
from receiving that love. And the big distinction being and
(35:50):
this is the paradox of acceptance when it comes to
the ingredient of self acceptance as part of the recipe
of your self image, this is where I say go
take radical ownership of it, like go put in the work,
because if you want something different, like you got to
do differently. But when it comes to where acceptance is
a God block and it's blocking you from receiving the
love that's available to you, that's where I'm here to say,
(36:13):
what if the God block wasn't yours.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
To break through? What if it's where you invited God
into it?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Like what if it wasn't your job or your responsibility
or at least not fully.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And this is where you move from.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Self reliance into God reliance, And that is where you
ask God to help you and meet you there. And
what if it was as simple as just praying, God,
please show me where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing
myself through your eyes, And God, please show me what
you see, and just pray that over and over again,
and you're asking for revelation and wisdom and awareness of
(36:48):
what you're walking away from, while simultaneously you're asking for
a new view and a new belief and a new identity,
Like God, please show me where I'm shaming myself instead
of seeing myself through your eyes. God, please show me
what you see. And just give that air attention, intention, repetition,
and just ask God to show you his power and
(37:08):
help you break through that God block and all you
have to do is surrender and ask him in prayerful
request again, God, please show me where I'm shaming myself
instead of seeing myself through your eyes.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
God, please show me what you see. That's it.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Like, that is my invitation to you to just really
try on this new story or new perspective. And there
is so much more I could say about all of this,
but we'll we'll just stop right there for right now.
So that is it for this first ingredient and the
first God Block. But we're going to be back next
week to talk about the next ingredient and next God Block,
(37:43):
which is all about creating health and self care with
God's support. So once again not just figuring it out
on your own, but how to make sure you're taking
radical ownership of what you can and cannot influence, but
asking God to step in and do the heavy life
lifting in your head.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Heart and spirit.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
So I will talk to you then we'll be back
with more what's God got to do with it? But
in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear from you,
So just tell me where you are in your story
or maybe what questions you have, like where do you
feel you need clarity or support or wisdom in your
(38:23):
own journey. I definitely want to hear from you, So
head on over to What's God Got to Do with It?
Dot com and scroll down to the form to share
your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
And you can do that instantly.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
So What's God Got to Do with It? Dot Com
You'll find all the ways to do that. And if
you like this podcast and want to hear more, go
ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen to
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Speaker 1 (38:55):
Sure to rate and review to show your support. It
really means so much.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
What's God Got to Do With It Is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network. It's written and
hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio,
post production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music
written by Cheryl stark and produced by Adam Starker
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Not here to preach, going to keep it clean and
talk to me and recause where faith needs all nature.
Get in touch with your creator with a bacon, love
and jo She even speaks Hebrew.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
What's that, Gonza? What's that?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's well said Patsi talking transformation?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
What's done? Gonzato. Welcome back to What's God got to
do with It?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we are here to kick off this new series
where we are breaking down this really complex topic of
worthiness and really what I call the paradox of worthiness,
as in, how.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Do you feel worthy when you don't don't feel worthy?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And if you're anything like me and the whole feeling
worthy thing just never fully landed for you, or maybe
you just still have resistance to it, then you are
going to love this series because we're going to just
break it down. So if you missed last week's episode,
definitely go back and listen to that, because not only
did we connect a lot of dots from previous episodes,
(01:22):
but also we just paved the way for this entire series,
including today's episode. So specifically I introduced you to what
I call the five Blocks to God's love and how
I discovered that for me when it came to actually
feeling worthy of really just you know, being loved and
not feeling like I had to earn it or like
(01:43):
you know, when I'm this or do that, then I'll
be lovable I mean loved right now, worthy right now
as I am.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That was really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
For me to grasp at first. It's it's kind of
like something that was blocking me. And like I said,
I call it the paradox of worthiness because it's like,
how do you feel worthy when you don't feel worthy?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Or maybe logically.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You understand that you're loved and that you're worthy of love,
but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, it never fully landed. And
it really makes sense too, right. I Mean there's so
much talk nowadays about self love and worthiness, but the
crucial question remains, how do we truly embrace it if
all we've ever known is the opposite? And how do
(02:23):
you feel worthy suddenly if you've all all you've ever
really known is feeling unworthy?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And for me, the problem was, like you know, I
was being bombarded with feel good affirmations and fake positivity
and platitudes that really failed to address my deeper seated insecurities.
I'm assuming the same things kind of happening for you.
And that's because, like we talked about last week, you know,
the science of the self image piece of the puzzle
isn't really even being talked about, which, hello, you know
(02:51):
by this point how I feel about trying to outsmart
your self image. And that's because our self image and
the wiring in our brains that's causing us to think
and act and feel and behave.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The way that we are. That is the problem.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But it's also the solution to worthiness, at least that's
how I see it, and of course it's when we
renew our minds. So back to these five blocks to
God's love. What I discovered was that when it came
to actually feeling worthy of being loved, and again I
mean right now as we are, you know, that didn't
just magically happen for me because of that resistance I mentioned,
(03:27):
and it was blocking me from truly getting it.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know, God wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't
blocking me. I was blocking me, like my thoughts and
perception of myself was what was blocking what was available
to me. Plus, as we talked about last week and
on the episode before that with Ketrick called Jesus take
the wheel from self reliance to God's guidance, I was still,
(03:53):
you know, doing and teaching self love and self worth
as something that you do strictly through your own strength.
In other words, it was this hyper independent reliance on
myself to do all the heavy lifting. And in a
world that often encourages that, like it encourages you know,
self sufficiency, this concept of letting go and allowing God
(04:15):
to take the lead can feel a little daunting or
if you're anything like me, it was totally foreign. So
before we get into any more of this relinquishing shame
and stepping into worthiness conversation, and before I share the
first god block and the first ingredient to worthiness, I
want to just reinforce again that it's not about doing
(04:35):
it through your own strength, even though you know it
might be what you learned. I know it's what I learned.
It's about shifting from total self reliance to allowing God's
guidance to come in. And that's why I'm really just
inviting you to see this topic of shame and this
topic of transforming your view of yourself in a whole
new light. And so if you think that asking for
(04:55):
help is weakness, and again, that was me most my life.
And if you str uggle with this idea of surrendering
your burdens over to God or a higher power, and
boy did I ever that was a big one for me,
Like I'll definitely be the first to admit that. But
if you constantly feel like you have to prove how
strong and how able or how tough or fill in
the blank you are, and again, there's absolutely no judgment
(05:17):
about any.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Of this, Like this was me my entire life before
I let got in.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
But if you feel any of those things before we
get into the meat of today's episode, I'm first and
foremost just re inviting you to simply try on a
new definition of surrender and really the profound impacts that
can happen when you shift from self reliance to God's
guidance and no longer looking at this as something that
(05:43):
you have to do on your own, but letting God
in to do the heavy lifting. And you know that's
not just your logic brain here, right, I'm inviting you
to use your spiritual brain or really see this through
spiritual eyes. And again, this was so hard for me
to grasp. So if this is a stretch for you too,
I see you, I get you, I totally feel you.
(06:05):
And remember, I'm not here to try to convince you
or persuade you into anything. I'm really here just to
invite you to see that you don't have to do
all of this yourself, okay, And once again like, really,
this is the perfect place to invite God in and say, God,
help meet me here, Like I don't even know what
it looks like to invite you in, right and help
me see what you see and help me with my shame,
(06:27):
and help me with depression or whatever it is you're
currently dealing with. Like, this is the perfect time to
just invite God in. So let's get into those five
God blocks. And like I shared last week, what's so
interesting to me at least about each of these blocks, which,
like I also shared, I've been teaching that, you know,
my five ingredients self imaging formula to my clients. I've
(06:50):
been teaching that for over a decade. But what I
realized was that those same five ingredients, when I looked
at them another way, they weren't just ingredients, and I
looked at them from another way, or or really it
was just looking at them through my spiritual eyes, I
realized that they were actually where I was blocking God's
love and really any love for that matter, from coming
(07:12):
my way and truly receiving it, right, because it's one
thing like all of us, I truly believe know how
to love, but receiving.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It, it's a blind spot for so many of us.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And that was that resistance that I was telling you about,
and that's what was blocking me from feeling the power
or really the truth in that. And that's why I
now call them God blocks. So on one side of
the coin, these five things are like magic ingredients that
add up to the recipe of worthiness when we're talking
(07:40):
about your self image. But those same things, if you're
not aware and if you stay blocked by them, they
will literally block you. Right and again, for me, God
wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't blocking me. I
was blocking me, and it was my thoughts and perceptions
of myself that were blocking me. And really the love
was there, it was available to me, but I wasn't
(08:02):
receptive to it. And so when I looked at those
same ingredients through spiritual eyes, these things that I was
once relying on like only me. Really, I was like, okay,
this is your responsibility, leanne or thinking I just had
to do it through my all, my own might and
my own strength. I realized that those were the things
that were blocking me from again, not just the love
(08:23):
of God, but the love of anyone in this universe
that wanted to give me their love, whether it was
you know, family, friends, relationships, you name it. But the
reason these five blocks felt so revelatory for me is
because when I simply became aware of them, right, when
I simply became aware of the five blocks and I
just started acknowledging them and kind of taking care of them,
right all of a sudden, they were no longer blocks.
(08:46):
They transformed into these powerful gateways or like kind of
like a bridge to connection and to so much worthiness
and so much peace. And it really allowed me to
invite God in right there and ask him to help me.
And then my prayers just became you know again, God,
meet me here, help me see what you see, and
help me unblock what's blocking me from you and remove
(09:10):
anything or unlearn any lie that is not coming from you.
And that's why I believe it's so important to recognize
your own god blocks, as in, what's keeping you from
receiving the love that's available to you right now. It's
not that it's not there, it's just that you're not
receiving it because you don't feel worthy of it. And
so what is keeping you from feeling like you're worthy
(09:32):
of receiving that love and worthy of being taken care
of or just valued beyond the size of your genes
or your bank balance or relationship status, right And that's
why I'm so excited to just get this worthiness conversation
started or really like like we're.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Doing, continuing it.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And so what I'm going to do is, I'm going
to break it down in kind of three different viewpoints.
I'm going to share each of the five ingredients that
become this recipe for worthiness within yourself image, Like those
are the five ingredients I've been sharing for a very
long time. But then I'm going to share how those
same ingredients, those very same things can actually be a
god block if you are blocked by them or don't
(10:08):
just feel worthy of receiving them. Okay, And then we're gonna,
of course take a look at what God has to
say about it. So let's just dive on in, okay,
starting with the first ingredient and the first God block,
which is acceptance or self acceptance. Starting with the first
(10:31):
ingredient and the first God block, which is acceptance or
self acceptance. And I started with this one specifically because
I really think it's the hardest one to sink in,
or at least it was for me personally, and it
really is for my clients as well, because when you
think of it, most of us are so focused on
what we don't like about ourselves, right and what we
(10:52):
don't have, or where we think we've messed up or
didn't finish something, or we haven't achieved something yet, or
we are just out right rejecting and self disrespecting ourselves
or you know, self abandoning ourselves, or that idea of
you know, accepting ourselves. It just might feel foreign, like
our brain doesn't know what it's like. And again, that's
(11:12):
how it was for me. I'm like, wait a minute,
accepting myself and not living in shame again, it.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Felt like a foreign thing to me.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So for purposes of this new conversation about self love
and worthiness.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I kind of frame it like this.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So first there's the side of it where you are
working on just straight up accepting yourself but without exception,
right without you know, it's not like a I'll love
myself except for that part. Right, So here's the thing,
accepting yourself without exception, but without all that shame and
blame and guilt and comparison ititis and perfectionism and self rejection.
(11:44):
So those are two different things. Like some people are like, oh,
I accept myself, but then they have all that shame
alongside of it. I'm talking about accepting yourself but without
all of that. And again this is simple but definitely
not easy. And that is why I call it the
paradox of worthiness, and in this case, it's the paradox
of acceptance. Like how do you accept yourself when you
don't accept yourself or all you've ever known is rejecting yourself.
(12:07):
So that's one side of the acceptance piece of the puzzle.
But also notice what I did not say. Notice I
didn't say that you have to like yourself all the time, right,
accepting yourself and loving yourself as possible, even when you
don't like what you just did, or even when you
don't like how you just reacted, or maybe you don't
like how you're feeling right or you don't like your
(12:29):
current circumstances like your weight or bank balance or relationship status,
like all those worldly things that we as humans legitimately
care about. And again, you don't have to like yourself
or your circumstances all the time. But what is possible
is just to accept that this is where you are
right now, or who you are right now, or your
circumstances right now, but without all that shame and blame
(12:53):
and guilt and self condemnation and self rejection, and without
all the comparisonitis and perfectionism. And I get it that
in itself is a massive pill to swallow. But all
I'm doing is giving you the awareness that this is possible, Okay,
because I used to think like, oh, this is just
who I am or how I'll always be. But that's
(13:13):
because I didn't know about transforming my brain and self image,
and I was trying to do it through my own
strength and without the grace of God and without the
like borrowing the eyes of God. And that's why I'm
simply inviting you to just ask yourself, like, what would
it feel like for you to fully accept yourself without
exception and without all of the shame and blame in comparisonitis,
(13:36):
and again not accept myself except for my weight, or
I accept myself except for my relationship status or job title,
or I accept myself, but I can't forgive myself for
my past. I mean all of it, like truly and
fully accepting yourself right now as you are wards and
all not when you lose the weight or make more
money or reach that metaphorical mountaintop. I mean right now,
(14:00):
and I especially especially mean those deep dark corners of
your life or your story or your past that you
don't want anyone to know about and where your toxic
shame lives. Like what if once again, you don't have
to like it or like your past, But where can
you move towards more.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And more acceptance that this is where you are right now?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
But again, just accepting the reality without all that shame, blame, guilt,
you know, the self rejection, the comparisonitis, all of it.
If this feels like too big of a stretch for
you right now, or if just accepting yourself and self
acceptance seems impossible right now, then that's what I mean
when I say that that's same ingredient to creating your
self image and the eyes of love and worthiness, that
(14:44):
same ingredient is actually acting as a.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Block, okay, a block to God's.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Acceptance, to unconditional acceptance, I should say, and to God's grace.
And by the way, the word nerd in me wants
you to know what grace means, because it's it's one
of those words that I didn't really use or even
know what it meant before I had faith life. So
the etymology, which is just the word origin of the
word grace means God's unmerited favor, God's unmerited favor, love
(15:15):
or help. And I just love that unmerited favor because
to me, that just says Leanne, you don't have to
earn it. It's free of merit or working for it.
It's acceptance and love even when you don't think you
deserve it, or even when you don't feel it for yourself,
and even when you haven't air quotes earned it right
(15:35):
and even in those dark places where you have deep
dark secrets and toxic shame, the grace and unmerited favor
of God is there in those times, especially in those times.
And so can we just slow down for a second
and soak that in, right, Like, can you imagine what
your life would be like if you just had that
kind of grace and acceptance that even when you don't
(15:58):
think you deserve it kind of love that even when
you don't feel it for yourself kind of love. Right,
And this is where I invite you to borrow God's eyes,
and it's the perfect time to just try on a
new story, like a new story about your ability to
be loved and accepted just like that, because.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
If you don't believe that you're worthy of.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
That, that's a God block and you need a new story,
like you've got to renew your mind. And so for me,
I shared in the very first episode of the Godpod
that I just tried on the story which was just
started out like kind of as trying on an idea
that God sent his son to die for our sins
and take away our shame and our guilt and our
self condemnation. And I tried on this idea that there
(16:41):
is a way to allow me to kind of you know,
rebirth myself and not have to walk around with all
of those stories and all of that shame any longer,
and just to step into this idea that I'm whole
and complete right now and that I don't have to
work for it or lose weight for it, or create
more business or financial success for it. That I'm just
whole and complete right now, and that God loves me
(17:03):
right now and it's this kind of love that I
couldn't even fathom with my own eyes at first, but
now I can.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
And that's basically the gist of the story that I
started trying on.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And so of course you can imagine like when I
started trying on that story, I was like, yes, like
give it to me, give it all to me, because
it felt so good. And in that same episode, I mentioned, like,
you know, I really just from there on out, I
immersed myself in these concepts for months to come, and
what I'm sharing now, you know, was part of that
process too. So again, if you can't see these concepts
(17:34):
with your own human eyes, just borrow God's eyes like
I did, right and borrow.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Jesus's eyes whatever resonates with you.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But what I'm really saying is borrow the eyes of
unconditional love and unconditional acceptance and grace and knowing you
so deeply and loving all of you, not just the
compartmentalized parts of you, And that in itself is a
big distinction, like this idea of like, wait, you know
all of me, even the stuff that I I hate
or don't like or have shame, and you love all
(18:03):
of me Like that is God's grace. That is unmerited favor.
That is the kind of love that isn't earned. It's
just there, and it's not just there some of the time,
it's there all of the time. But I believe it's
our job to unblock what's blocking us from receiving it
if we want to receive it. And for me, when
(18:24):
I borrowed God's grace, it was like I had access
to something that I myself couldn't really connect with, like
via my human eyes, right. But when I pictured that,
I had this heavenly Father that had unconditional acceptance and
that was more loving and accepting and grace filled than
I had ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It changed the game for me.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I also like to borrow what I view as God's
definition of love from First Corinthians thirteen four through eight,
and this is the NIV version. But and I'm sure
you've heard this before, but it's love is patient, Love
is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast.
It is not proud, It does not dishonor others. It
is not self seeking, It is not easily angered.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
It keeps no.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Record of wrongdoings. Let me say that again, it keeps
no record of wrongdoings. And love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. And that was from Corinthians thirteen
four through eight.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
And that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
God's love is filled with unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.
But if you don't accept yourself, you are outright blocking
that love from God, like he's not giving it, but
you're not able to receive it. So again, the block
is coming from you, not from God. I just want
to reiterate that, right, But it's not being blocked from God.
You're blocking anyone else to truly give you the love
(19:48):
that's available to you. But if you don't feel worthy
of receiving it, it's like it's not even there.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
So again, just to reiterate, God's not blocking you, right.
God's love is all.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
There, not just some of the time. All the time.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
But if you are not feeling worthy of receiving it,
that is the block.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
There's no shame in it.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
It's not one of those things where I'm trying to
shame you because you're blocking it. I'm just trying to
keep a help you create awareness because the truth is
most women are walking around outright rejecting themselves or feeling
disconnected from themselves and actively focusing on the things that
they don't accept about themselves. And so this is a
major problem when it comes to your self image and
(20:29):
when it comes to receiving the love that's available to
you right now. And that's why self acceptance is like
I said, it's both an ingredient to a self loving
and worthy self image. But that same thing, if you
don't believe it or feel it, it's outright blocking you
from receiving that love. And again that's the paradox of
worthiness and the paradox of self acceptance.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
But here's the big distinction that I really want you
to get between those two things, because again, same thing.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
One is a beautiful ingredient and one is a block.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
So you know, like I talked about, there's a paradox
to worthiness and in this case, the paradox to accepting yourself,
like you know, accepting yourself when you don't accept yourself,
it's a catch twenty two.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
And so when it comes to the ingredient of self
acceptance as part of the recipe of your self image,
this is where I believe that when it comes to
our own self image, like I believe it's our job
to take radical ownership of it. And this is where
we put in the work as a human because if
we want something to be different, we need to see
and do differently.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
But on the flip side, when it comes to the
side of the coin where the concept of acceptance is
a God block and it's blocking you from receiving the
love that's available to you, that's where I'm here to
plant this seed in your brain. Like what if the
God blocks side of it wasn't yours to break through?
Like what if that's where you invited God into it?
(21:59):
Like what if it wasn't your job and it wasn't
your responsibility or at least not fully. And remember what
we said about self reliance, right, like what if this
is where you move into God's guidance instead of self
reliance or God reliance instead of self reliance. And that
is where you invite God into it and you ask
God to help you and meet you there. And by
(22:21):
the way, just to make it super simple, because I
know for me, the whole prayer side of things felt
really overwhelming and complicated. So to make it simple, like
what if it really was just as simple as praying
something like, Hey, God, please show me where I'm shaming
myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes, and God,
please show me what you see. So, for example, that prayer,
(22:42):
if you prayed it over and over again. The reason
I love that specific prayer is because the first half,
where you say God, please show me where I'm shaming
myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes, you're asking
for revelation and wisdom and really just awareness of what
you're trying to walk away from or at least what
you're in the process of transforming.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And then the second half where you say God, please
show me what you see, you are asking for a
new view and a new belief and in turn, a
new identity. And I'm telling you, if you pray this
over and over again, he will show you. He will
meet you there, He will give you that revelation you
are seeking.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
And how do I know this?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, this is again where it's not just my faith talking,
even though that's a big part of it, but it's
also what neuroscience says. I mean, what we focus on
expands and we become what we practice or the way
I teach my clients what we give air to. So
air just stands for attention, intension and repetition. So attention, intension,
(23:41):
repetition is air. And whatever you give air to, it
grows and expands and it just becomes you, like your
brain will learn it and it will just become part
of the way you think. Obviously you've got to, you know,
believe it, but you must renew your mind and you
must practice it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And so that's an invitation in its own right.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Like what if you gave air to that prayer and
you gave attention intension, repetition to God, Please show me
where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing myself through your eyes?
And then God, please show me what you see. And
you're not like you know, butterflying and roses the truth,
like this is nothing that you're having to convince yourself about,
(24:21):
Like you're literally meeting yourself in the fact that you're like, okay, please,
like show me where I am not seeing myself through
your eyes where there's a block, and then show me
what you see, Like that's just my invitation to you.
And really that is the big picture side of acceptance
that I wanted you to get access to and just
start seeing and just planting these seeds. And of course
(24:41):
that means that unconditional, grace filled kind of acceptance that
we're talking about, Like you don't have to earn it,
it's unmerited, it's just favor like God is favoring you.
And yeah, like there is a part in it that
you play when it comes to taking radical ownership of
your self image, Like there's there's a personal responsibility part
of it, right, and you're learning through this podcast, like
(25:02):
there is a science to the self image, so my
logic and reason people.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Listening you can grasp onto that.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
But the side of acceptance where it is a God
block and it's blocking you from receiving that acceptance, and yes,
it's a catch twenty two because it's what you need,
but it's also what's blocking you, right, But the big
distinction being that block is not yours to do anything
about okay. That God block is where you ask God
to show you his power and all you have to
(25:29):
do is surrender and ask him in prayerful request again, God,
please show me where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing
myself through your eyes, and God, please show me what
you see. And that really is the nutshell of all this.
But there's one more thing I want to mention about
this topic before we wrap this episode, because there's another
side of self acceptance that I did mention a bit
(25:51):
briefly a bit earlier in this episode, but because it
doesn't really get talked about very much, I want to
just take a moment to explore another side of self
acceptance too, and it's this really learning to accept where
you are and who you are and what is okay.
In other words, accepting your reality as it stands right now,
(26:12):
aka you know your circumstances even when you don't like it,
or when you don't like your circumstances, and accepting the
reality that, hey, this is what I weigh right now
even if I don't like it, or accepting the reality
that you know, this is my financial circumstance right now,
even if you don't like it. Or just accepting the
reality that this is what's going on in your relationship
(26:34):
right now, even if you don't like it, and heck,
you might outright hate something that's happening in your life,
but it's so important that you are at least accepting that, like, Okay,
this is what's happening right now, and just accepting the
reality of it. And this is where I want to
share one of my favorite non biblical quotes by Byron Katie,
and she says, when you argue with reality, you suffer.
(26:57):
When you argue with reality, you suffer. So just let
that sink in. Okay, how many of you listening are
arguing with your current reality and creating suffering, or maybe
you're arguing with your current circumstances, or maybe you're arguing
with God and by default you're staying stuck focusing on
the problem and not stepping into a solution. Because it's
(27:21):
not our circumstances that make us feel mad or sad
or ashamed or angry or anxious, even though sometimes it
feels like it does. It's our thoughts about our circumstances
that cause us to feel those feelings. And the cool
thing is is that you get to choose your thoughts.
And yeah, you have to learn how to shift your
thoughts if you want to think about things differently, but
it's something that you can and I'll even go as
(27:43):
far as say should learn to do. So whatever your
circumstances are right now, in your life and your relationships,
or your health and your body, your finances, whatever, it's
not your circumstances causing you sadness or shame or if
your anxiety, right, it's your thoughts about your circumstances causing
those feelings. But those thoughts aren't going to change your
(28:04):
circumstances right now, this very moment. But thinking better thoughts
or surrendering and finding better feeling thoughts can and will
change how you feel right now. So the circumstances won't change,
but you can change how you feel about them right now.
And that's why it's so important to renew your mind.
And yeah, I know, like again, this is where faith
(28:25):
comes in. And like I say, it takes faith to
have faith that you know everything will work out in
the end, especially when you're kind of in the midst
of crappy circumstances.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Right But this is where I'm also here to.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Tell you you don't always have to like the reality
of what's happening. Okay, You're allowed to accept where you
are right now, but you don't always have to like it.
And I think people think like, no, I need to
put on a happy face, I need to think positively,
But you're skipping over the suck like when something feel
and when something sucks like it's really important to not
skip over it and let yourself feel the feelings.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Like You're allowed to.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Be sad and mad and angry and upset and disappointed,
all of it. But again, how you show up in
the face of those big feelings is what's going to
make the biggest difference. And for me, this is when
I found the thing that helps me most is surrendering
to God and just being like, hey, God, I don't
like this, and in fact I kind of hate it, right,
but I'm praying and hopeful that you are going to
(29:22):
show me how it's going to be used for good,
or how I'm going to grow from this or something right.
And again, prayers like that they don't change your circumstances,
but it sure does shift your state. Okay, And let's
be honest, what is the alternative to not accepting your
reality right it's living in a non reality and pretending
like what's happening isn't even happening. But the reality is
(29:45):
is like, you can't go back and change what already
happened right where you are right now in your life,
your body, your journey, your relationships whatever, so relationships with
humans and relationship with God. Obviously you can't change what's
already happened up until today, right as it stands right now,
the data, the reality of where you are right now,
(30:06):
it's already taken place right but you can choose to
believe that everything that has happened has brought you to
this moment in the here and now. And I don't
mean butterflies and unicorns and fake positivity. I just mean saying, hey,
I don't like it, but this is what's happening right now.
Because the alternative of wishing it away and shaming it,
(30:27):
blaming it or comparing it is not only a losing game,
but it will cause you to live life in your past.
So here's what I say about it. You don't always
have to like everything about yourself, your body, your circumstances,
and you're allowed to want to go change those things
and upgrade yourself or up level elements of your life.
(30:47):
Right but I invite you to learn to accept where
you are and who you are and what is actually
happening right now while you go, because what is the alternative.
You're going to end up rejecting yourself and disconnecting from
yourself and living your life looking backwards, living life in
the past.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
And that is the opposite of acceptance.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
And you do have another option though, like you can
learn self acceptance and look at learning it and unblocking
it like it's a skill, kind of like you know,
riding a bike or playing the tuba is a skill,
right Because until you do that thing, and in this
case we're talking about self acceptance, that thing will outright
block you from receiving the love that's already available to
(31:30):
you right now. And I promise it's here right now
and you don't have to earn it or lose weight
for it, or make money for it, whatever. It's just
there right now. But if you don't feel worthy of
receiving it because it's blocked, it's as if it's not
even there. Because again, like you've heard me say before,
what you see is who you be. And so if
(31:51):
you look for rejection and disconnection and disappointment, you're gonna
find it and you're gonna be it. But if you
look for acceptance and that unconditional love and grace and
care and that you know, unconditional kind of love even
when you don't think you deserve it kind of love,
you'll find it and you'll be it. So now let's
just take a look to God's word a bit more
(32:13):
to shift this self acceptance block. Okay, so Ephesians two eight,
and this is the NIV version as well. It says,
for it is by grace you have been saved through faith.
And this is not from yourselves, It is the gift
of God. And to me, this is a reminder that
again the love of God is here for me right now,
and I don't have to earn it or work for it.
(32:36):
All I have to do is receive it. And again,
accepting yourself and receiving that love from God is a
paradox in a way, and that's why I'm simply planting
this seed in your awareness. But I also love that
this specific scripture says it's by grace you have been saved.
And remember what the word grace means. It means God's
(32:57):
unmerited favor or love, so favor that in a way
doesn't make sense, right, But that's why it's such a
powerful lens to borrow, to really borrow the love and
acceptance and grace of God.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
But also notice it also says it's a gift.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Okay, it's a gift, give yourself the gift of receiving
that gift. God wants you and all of his children
to have that gift. I also love this one from
Romans five eight, and it's also the NIV version. But
God demonstrates his own love for us in this while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Now, notice
(33:33):
how it's said, but God demonstrates his own love for
us in this. So it's like, how can we know
that God loves us because he demonstrates it. He laid
down his life for us, and Jesus didn't go to
the cross for us because we were good, but because
instead he loves us. That's why he did that, right,
And to me, this shows me how much God loves
me and how much.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
He loves you.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And he gave us what we desperately needed, but not
necessarily what we think we deserve, and that's because grace
is that unmerited favor even when you don't think you
deserve it. But the verse also says, while we were
still sinners, and notice God didn't say, like, I'll die
for you once you earn it. Like again, we weren't
(34:16):
worthy of God's sacrifice for all of us because all
of us sin and all of us experience hopelessness and
feeling lost.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I mean, I know, I sure do.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But Jesus died for us, and God loves us so
much that he took on our punishment. And in a way,
this is the heart of the gospel, like we are
just loved by God, and I honestly we're in a way,
we're hopeless on our own, and because of God we
can find hope in a new life. Right And that's
why if you are still punishing yourself or rejecting yourself
(34:44):
for outright not accepting yourself or accepting yourself but not
really because you're coincidedly wrapped up in toxic shame, then
this is where I invite you to invite God in.
And that's all I'm inviting you to do right here,
right now, Like I'm just inviting you to really empty
your cup, and forget about what you think you know,
what you think, you don't know, what you think you
(35:06):
might not even be interested in knowing, and just open
your mind, your heart, and your spirit to possibility and
just try on a story or a framework that meets
you exactly where you are on your own journey, because
there's no judgment, there's no shame. And of course I'm
not here to try to convince or persuade or coerce
you into anything, and I don't want you to worry
(35:27):
about whether you're you know, doing it right. But I'm
just inviting you try on a story. And what if
you just tried on this story right? That self acceptance
is both an ingredient to a loving and worthy self image,
But that same thing, self acceptance or acceptance, if you
don't believe it or feel it, it's outright blocking you
from receiving that love. And the big distinction being and
(35:50):
this is the paradox of acceptance when it comes to
the ingredient of self acceptance as part of the recipe
of your self image, this is where I say go
take radical ownership of it, like go put in the work,
because if you want something different, like you got to
do differently. But when it comes to where acceptance is
a God block and it's blocking you from receiving the
love that's available to you, that's where I'm here to say,
(36:13):
what if the God block wasn't yours.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
To break through? What if it's where you invited God
into it?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Like what if it wasn't your job or your responsibility
or at least not fully.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And this is where you move from.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Self reliance into God reliance, And that is where you
ask God to help you and meet you there. And
what if it was as simple as just praying, God,
please show me where I'm shaming myself instead of seeing
myself through your eyes, And God, please show me what
you see, and just pray that over and over again,
and you're asking for revelation and wisdom and awareness of
(36:48):
what you're walking away from, while simultaneously you're asking for
a new view and a new belief and a new identity,
Like God, please show me where I'm shaming myself instead
of seeing myself through your eyes. God, please show me
what you see. And just give that air attention, intention, repetition,
and just ask God to show you his power and
(37:08):
help you break through that God block and all you
have to do is surrender and ask him in prayerful
request again, God, please show me where I'm shaming myself
instead of seeing myself through your eyes.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
God, please show me what you see. That's it.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Like, that is my invitation to you to just really
try on this new story or new perspective. And there
is so much more I could say about all of this,
but we'll we'll just stop right there for right now.
So that is it for this first ingredient and the
first God Block. But we're going to be back next
week to talk about the next ingredient and next God Block,
(37:43):
which is all about creating health and self care with
God's support. So once again not just figuring it out
on your own, but how to make sure you're taking
radical ownership of what you can and cannot influence, but
asking God to step in and do the heavy life
lifting in your head.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Heart and spirit.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
So I will talk to you then we'll be back
with more what's God got to do with it? But
in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear from you,
So just tell me where you are in your story
or maybe what questions you have, like where do you
feel you need clarity or support or wisdom in your
(38:23):
own journey. I definitely want to hear from you, So
head on over to What's God Got to Do with It?
Dot com and scroll down to the form to share
your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
And you can do that instantly.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
So What's God Got to Do with It? Dot Com
You'll find all the ways to do that. And if
you like this podcast and want to hear more, go
ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen to
podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God Got
to Do with It? New episodes drop every single Tuesday,
and while you're there, be.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Sure to rate and review to show your support. It
really means so much.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
What's God Got to Do With It Is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network. It's written and
hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio,
post production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music
written by Cheryl stark and produced by Adam Starker
Host
Leanne Ellington
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