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August 12, 2025 38 mins

“I Was Afraid of All Food—Whether It Was a Piece of Celery or a Cookie”

Meet Susan.

She’s an occupational therapist, a wife, and a mom. And for 40 years, she lived in a self-imposed “diet prison”.

F-O-R-T-Y Y-E-A-R-S.

Every diet promised freedom, but instead, it left her feeling more trapped—more consumed by guilt, shame, and the constant battle with food and her body.

Susan started to believe that this was just her reality. “This is how it’s always going to be,” she told herself.

But deep down, she wasn’t okay with it.

Her obsession with food and her body was taking a toll—not just on herself but on the people she loved most. Missed moments, crushing guilt, and the feeling of “never enough” became her daily norm.

“I felt like I was failing,” Susan confessed. “Not just as a woman, but as a wife, a mom, and even a therapist. How could I help others when I couldn’t even get this part of my life together?”

And yet, Susan knew there had to be another way.

Her turning point came when she decided to stop fighting food and her body. She made the bold choice to let go of dieting altogether and instead commit to healing her relationship with herself.

Now, Susan joins me to share her remarkable story of transformation.

How she overcame decades of food obsession and fear to finally find peace.
Why it’s never too late to rewrite your story—no matter how long you’ve been stuck.
The steps she took to release shame, heal her body, and reconnect with herself, her loved ones, and even her faith.

Susan’s story is proof that healing is possible—even after 40 years. No matter where you are or how long you’ve struggled, freedom is waiting for you, too.

HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington

To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.

Follow Leanne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leanneellington/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry not here a preaching to keep it clean
and talk to me and recall where faith needs fills
nature and get in touch with your creator with a bacon,
love and jew.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
She even speaks Hebrew.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
What's that Gotza?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
What's that.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
This sad busation? Should talking transformation?

Speaker 3 (00:41):
What's that gonzato?

Speaker 4 (00:44):
It's leanne Here and what you're about to hear are
real stories from real women who not only face their
deepest struggles with food in their bodies, but also chose
to invite God into their journey of healing. These women
have battled their demons in race their faith and found
freedom on the other side. These are the raw, unfiltered

(01:05):
journeys of women just like you, once trapped in mental prisons,
caught in the endless cycle of food obsession, and weighed
down by feelings of failure and shame. And I'm sharing
these with you today because I want you to know
that no matter how stuck or out of control you
feel right now, there is a way out, especially when
you welcome God into the process. So if you're feeling

(01:29):
broken or lost, or like you're the only one who
struggles with this. You are not You're not alone, and
you are definitely not beyond hope or healing. These stories
are living proof that true transformation is possible when you
invite God to be part of your healing. I hope
they inspire you to see what's possible for yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
So let's dive on in.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Hello lady, we're here in a selfis Solution with one
of my amazing clients, Susan, and she's honestly and graciously
donated her time and energy and her story and testimony
to share what's been going on in her world as
she's taken herself from the chains of control and restriction
and judgment and shame to freedom and liberation from a
forty year prison. So first of all, say hello, Hello,

(02:17):
thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
I'm grilled to be here.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Thanks for asking me.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Absolutely absolutely, I'd love for you to just kind of
give everyone an idea of, you know, just a few
months ago, where were you before we met, you know,
where was your headspace, what was your relationship like with food?
But if you want also just kind of tell us
a little bit about you whatever whatever feels good before
that too. But just kind of give us a little
background information on you and where you were before you

(02:44):
started down this road in this process.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well, we have three adult children and we're very close
to all of them, which is a huge blessing. And
I have a wonderful husband, Richard. We've been married almost
thirty three years, and he is rock who has walked
out this journey before knowing you and now has gotten
to go through this experience and he has wanted to

(03:08):
be part of it every step of the way. So
so cool, Yeah, huge for me.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
That's huge.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
Yeah, and as you'll share, like, this is a unique
experience because you have I mean a lot of my
client's husbands kind of know the journey they're on, but
they're not like really wanting to take that front row seat.
And he's just been super excited and like you've been
able to kind of walk through some of this with him,
and your adult daughters have benefited from it.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
So I can't wait for you to share that experience too. Yeah.
Kind of a unique situation and a blessing.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I mean, Richard's been praying for freedom for me as
long as I can remember from this journey, so I
guess that that just kind of takes me naturally into
telling you where this was for me. I'm a pretty
busy person. I mean in a good way. I have friends,
I have a lot of work that we do at church.

(03:55):
I work, I'm a I'm a therapist. I have a
happy life, a full life. But there's kind of been
this dark space that honestly, I don't think most people
would have known about me. And it's just almost haunted me.
That's the biggest word I can use to describe it,
to the point that it had become a despair in

(04:18):
my life that I had to just kind of deal with,
kind of back in the background of my life, sometimes
overshadowing everything, and I didn't. I really felt pretty alone
in that I felt like this wasn't something I could
really talk with a lot of people about. In fact,
I haven't so lean. When I called you, I don't
know if you remember. The first thing he said to
you is I'm terrified I do. We said why, and

(04:38):
I said, because I don't talk to people about this.
And I would talk to Richard about it. Although he's
a guy, he doesn't really understand it, and you know,
he hears me, but he didn't understand and I just
felt really alone. I was afraid of food. I was
afraid of all food, whether it was a piece of
cellery or a chocolate chip cookie. I was afraid. Am

(05:01):
I eating the right kind? Am I eating too much?
Am I eating too little? Am I eating at the
right time of day? Should I be doing this? Should
be doing that? I mean I was almost frantic, I
guess about food and very fearful. So that was a
really dark thing. And as far as you know, body image,
just a lot of shame, blame, comparison to everyone every

(05:24):
time I walk in a room, and I hated that
about myself because that's really not who I am. And
so it just became kind of this mess of eating
myself up all the time for comparing and shaming. I
was just it was just crazy. It was like a
chaotic mess in my mind about all this.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
And as you said, on top of it, it was like
your best cap secret.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
No one knew.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Yeah, if anybody ever knew, they'd.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
Be shocked because you put on this happy face, I'm successful,
outwardly powerful, confident and all that, but this was this
in this prison that you were alone in because it
was like your best cap secret.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Absolutely, it was a prison, and that is an exact description. Yeah,
And the most recent thing is I'd gotten to just
restricting food out of fear and using that almost as
a weapon against myself because of what I just didn't
know what else to do. So it was just getting
harder and harder exercise. I'm always been really faithful to
be active and exercise, but it was really just out

(06:21):
of almost punishment and always driving myself harder, Like well,
if you tried harder, if you did more, if you
did it differently, if you had more weights, you know, whatever,
the target was always moving for me.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
And you mentioned that your husband, Richard was like dying
for you to get you from this present. What do
you think he was noticing? Like, what do you think
he experienced that he just wanted you to see or
wanted you to know, or wanted you to be free
from Like why was this so deep on his heart?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, he has always loved me unconditionally, and I always
told me I'm beautiful and I and I was enough
the way I was. And he would always say to me,
I don't think you see yourself the way that I
see the way that the world sees you. I see
your heart. I see your soul, I see your spirit,
let alone your body, and you know who you are

(07:08):
on the outside, but you're not seeing the essence of yourself.
You're just looking at the outside that shell.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
And I don't know if you remember this, but on
our first call, I asked you about that. I said,
are you ready to see yourself?

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Did I say? Yes?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
You?

Speaker 4 (07:22):
I think that's when you were like, I'm scared, but yes,
you know.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
And but I say to.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
You like this because again, obviously all the things that
you're talking about here and the women that are watching
this can relate like not like that part of it
is not about the food. It's like you you free
yourself from food, which we do that too.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
That don't really cover all that other.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
Stuff, you know what I mean. That's that's that's actually
where we start, you know what I mean. So, yeah,
a lot of people modalities, whether it's a food based approach,
a therapy based approach, they just leave that to chance.
They leave it off the table. And it's like, no,
like that's the part.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I could go on and on about that, but yeah,
that's amazing. So how would you say.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
That your life has change as a result of that
what's different about you now?

Speaker 3 (08:04):
How is life now in your life, in your world?

Speaker 2 (08:07):
I think it would be easier to say, how has
my life not changed? And I mean that sincerely, that
is the question. This journey has encompassed all of my life.
Of course, you were telling me, it's not just the food,
it's not just your body. And I mean, I'm saying
this for somebody who might be listening, who needs to
hear this. I get that, like, because that's what you

(08:29):
think it is, and that is the least of the issues.
It is so much more than that. It has to
encompassed my mindsets. It's challenged my beliefs, I mean about everything.
You know, It's rock to me in a good way
and only the best way at the foundation of my life.
And I didn't see that coming, Honestly, I just was

(08:52):
skeptical that anything could work. And I watched your what
it was it the five Shifts video, and for the
first time I felt like, Okay, somebody actually Esland been
in my head? Has this woman been reading my mind?
Because I really didn't believe that anyone else could understand
what I felt. It was uncanny, And so when I
called you, it was with a mustard seed of faith,

(09:15):
to be honest, and it has been more than I
couldn't have even dreamed of how this would change my life.
It's overhauled how I respond to stress one thousand percent.
I don't respond to anxiety and stress at all the
way that I used to. I mean, I feel like
that is one of the biggest pieces because it literally

(09:38):
affects every day, all day of my life. I was
also living with this undercurrent of anxiety in my life
all the time. Again probably not shared with most people.
Actually most people, I'm guessing what characterize me as laid back, pretty.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Chill, and I am.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
I mean, that wasn't sincere. But there is always this
buzz That's the only way I can describe it, of
anxiety constantly well as I began to grow in knowledge,
and I hate calling it a program for me, it's
a journey. In this journey, when I began to realize
what was going on is that I was triggering. You know,

(10:16):
this is something that you teach so beautifully about from
a neurological standpoint. I was triggering. I was always living
in a stress state physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually, always
living in this stress state that has one hundred percent change,
and so when that changes, it's is affected how I
make decisions. My response is to difficult situations. I've had

(10:42):
several of those, which I shared with you, Leanne, several
difficult situations. Even in the last week. I'm like, wow,
I'm getting to like develop a lot of muscle around this.
But it has been shocking to me how I haven't
had that sense of panic. I haven't been like hit
the anxiety button. It's like, wow, all right, well no,
this is not all right with me, And here are

(11:03):
my boundaries, and I've just been able to totally respond
as opposed to react. Yeah, so yeah, those are I
guess some of the parts of me that I feel
like have changed that I didn't see coming.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
So basically, what we're hearing is like your emotional home
when you first came to me with like anxiety, fear, worry,
self judgment, self condemnation, shame, what do you feel like
it is now? Because we I mean, your emotional home
is totally shifted. So where are you living now emotionally?

(11:41):
I mean, your emotional home.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Is totally shifted? So where are you living now emotionally?
Obviously there's ebbs and flows for us all.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, some days are not easy still, and yet I
have tools in my toolbox that I never had before
for those moments or for those days. So that is
a joy. I mean, I would say I wake up
with peace, I wake up with joy, I wake up
with energy for the day. I wake up with a
plan for how to care for myself. That was a

(12:14):
non issue, that was non existing before. I just mean
that was always like kind of on the edges of everything,
and if I ended up quote taking care of myself,
well that was like an extra for the day.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
And now it's just like it's brushing your teeth. It's
who you are, yeah, and you don't have to think
about it.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
It runs much more and you talk about this and
running in the background of your life and it's taken
a while to get there, and it's not your day
I have to be. I think it's more mindfulness about
everything in my life. But it's not exhausting at all.
It's in alignment with my heart, with my soul, with

(12:54):
my spiritual life. Is all now aligned.

Speaker 4 (13:00):
And was it misaligned when you like when we first started,
like it was all of that just kind of running
in people.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Oh gosh, right, you want to speak to that.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah, I mean I've already talked about physically how it
was just I feel like I was I was doing
the you know, the food stuff, the exercise stuff for
all the reasons, like for the wrong read. No, I
don't say well for the I mean, it was.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
All knew, but the mentality restriction, punishment, more hardcast or
more like, you know, force yourself, persuade yourself, hate what.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
You're doing right exactly, And yet it's all I'd ever known,
and so I just kept on keeping on be though
it didn't know a different way. And emotionally, I feel like,
you know, the fear, the anxiety. But then I think spiritually,
I just I'm a very devoted Christian, and I feel
like I just really hadn't brought God into this part

(13:52):
of my life. It was like I was ashamed of
this with God, which is crazy, but that's that's what
it was. And I hadn't brought my relationship with God
into alignment with this whole piece of me. And that
has been a huge shift for me, even you know,

(14:12):
going back to our daily ritual of gratitude and giving
faiths and celebrating, you know. I remember calling you and
saying I can't celebrate myself. I can't do that, Like
that feels very out of alignment with my faith. Yeah,
And immediately within that conversation, I began to realize, no,

(14:33):
it's very much in alignment with my faith. I'm celebrating
what God is up to here in this little corner
of the world and how he's using me for his
work here in this world. That's changed everything.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
And here's the thing, ladies like I obviously don't run
a spiritual based program, but I run a program where
we help you get aligned mentally, physically, social, emotionally, spiritually
all that. And so what happened with you, Susan, is like,
and it's happened with other of mine too. It's like,
wait a minute, I have an idea of the relationship
I want with my faith and my spirit and my soul,
and that is interacting and intersecting with your emotional world.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
You know.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
And so what happens is a lot of programs and
modalities we just ignore that part and we look at
it like it's a food thing, or it's a body thing,
or it's a you know, a mindset thing. Right, and
we ignore like the alignment of who you are as
a soul and as a spirit, and completely ignore the
parts of you that are important. And so it came
up one time in one of our conversations where you
were like, hey, this feels out of alignment or it

(15:33):
feels like I might be going against what I think
I know. And I was like, cool, let's actually let's
integrate it, let's talk about it, let's make it aligne
because instead of just ignoring it, let's again it's all
about that integration. Because if you're out of alignment, you're
going to be constantly.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Having a gap.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
And that gap of out of alignment and this, which
is a technical term of course that I just made up,
is going to be what causes you to go eat
or self medicaid or comfort or just your criticize or
shame or any any of those things that we all
go to.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Right, It's like, no, let's have conversations about it.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
Let's integrate it into who you are because it's part
of your life anyways, rather than ignoring it.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
So what happened for you is like you were able to.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
Have Now you have a whole new It's not like
a new relationship with God. But it's almost like a
new relationship. Like one of the things I remember giving
saying to you one time is like, what if I
gave you permission to just totally like re establish a
new writer, better like more fulfilling relationship with God.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
And you were like, I don't think anybody's ever told
me I could do that. And I was like, well,
there you go.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
And it's just permission slip because the old relationship that
you had was one that you use based on your
old self image goggles right, Or maybe you never voted
on in the first place.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Somebody else just gave it to you. You know, no
one ever said you get to choose this.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
So part of it is like we integrated all the
self imaging work as well as the food and the
body and the physiology and mindset stuff with your scope
of faith and up leveled it to really reflect.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
Who you are are today.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, And I feel like it's just stripped back my
faith in a way to just go to a more
simple place of my faith. You know, I've been a
Christian a long time. There were some things that were
kind of modeled, and I feel like this has stripped
away a lot of you know, messages maybe that weren't
even true, and allowed me to go back to the
essence of my faith and back to Christ truly in

(17:23):
a very sweet way. It's changed my morning routine. I
just start the day in prayer and meditation and celebration
and gratitude, and it's just changed everything. It's such a
peaceful time. I can't wait to get to it in
the morning. And it's that along with all I don't
want to like give away some of the exciting things

(17:43):
that you share with people, but like some of our
what we call our morning rituals. It's just such a
beautiful part of my day and the best part of
my day.

Speaker 4 (17:51):
Yeah, So I love that because it's so because here's
the thing, Ladie's like, we've all done those things where
it's like we're forcing ourselves, persuading ourselves, prensing ourselves. It
never lasts, like you can hear the joy is you're
just talking about it. And the cool thing about it
is the ritualization process that we take everybody through. You
get to own it, you get to make it yours.
I'm giving you a framework and a structure, but purposefully
we're making it your words, your language, your truth. So

(18:13):
I can feel the excitement as you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
And so that being.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
Said, like all of this is the foundational stuff. How
has your relationship with food changed and transformed?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
It's a non issue.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Food can just be sure exactly what you want.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
It is nourishment and it's a gift in our lives
and it tastes.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
Good, and yes, it's pleasure.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
It's pleasure. It's a non issue, and that is huge.
It's a huge weight, Like talk about the weight of
the weight, like not having to like be afraid of food.
That's all day long, every day, vacation, celebrations, holidays. I
went on this food tour recently with my family. It

(18:57):
was like two days of we just you know, when
to a city together. It was a kind of a
crazy little vacation we all took and we went on
a food tour of all things to like eat all
the fun stuff. And it was in Philadelphia and we
just had a blast doing it. And I didn't eat,
you know, huge amounts of everything. We just went and

(19:19):
found like the best Philly cheese steak we could find
and we tried it and the we just had a
blast and I didn't even it didn't even give it
an extra thought to be afraid of food. It doesn't
even occurred to me anymore.

Speaker 4 (19:31):
Because here's what we don't think about, Like, we have
these ones in a lifetime opportunities to go on and
experience with our families, and we're not even present with
our families because we're thinking about the calories it had
or how much it's going to add to our love handles.
And so we completely missed out on the experience. And
not to mention, we miss out on the experience of food,
you know. So it's like you get to have it all.
You get to be present with the people you love,
You get to show up as your best self, and

(19:52):
you get to enjoy food for what it is.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
And so, speaking of family, like, what do you think,
how has.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
This shifted your relationship with your husband and your daughters
and your son, Like what would they say about you
now versus who were just a few months ago.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
The funniest one was to me when my son was
put home at Christmas. He's twenty and he said, Mom,
my friends have all noticed that you're different. And I'm
like a bunch of twenty year old boys have noticed
that I'm different. That just cracks me up. I'm like, wow,
you know that, that to me was a huge testimony.
They don't really think about what's been going on in
my life, he said, you are so much more peaceful.

(20:28):
So for him to even take a moment to say
that to me, and he at that point he didn't
know I hadn't sure really shared with him about this journey.
Our girls and Richard have you know how we're in
on it from the beginning and just have really encouraged me,
cared for me, wanted to hear about it, wanted to
process it with me. All along. On the same trip

(20:51):
that we were on, we were having just a great
discussion about the last year and a lot of things
in our lives, and one of them said, the greatest
thing about this last share is your journey with Leam.
And one of them said, it hasn't just affected you, mom,
it has affected all of us, and we can't wait
to see how else it's going to like affect all
of our lives. The day will come to me and

(21:13):
they will say, Okay, this is what's going on. What
do you like from this journey that you're on with Leanne?
And they're not asking me about food.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
You know, they're.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Asking me about life and decision making and responses to
sometimes difficult situations in their lives. It's just it has
affected everything in our lives.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
Goh, so we see so happy here, and it's just
that's what happens when you completely shift the paradigm and
you change your brain works and you think differently, you
learn a new language. And yes, we get to point
it in the direction of food, but we also get
to point it in the direction of everything in our
lives because it's not the food. It's who we're being
and how like how we're using food and how we're
feeling that's causing us to run to food for certain

(21:56):
comforts or to use it as a weapon of control,
you know. And it's never about the food. It's all
that underneath stuff that we can just again, when you
go to the brain and you just shift how you're thinking,
it gets to effect every area of your life. So
I'm just I'm so excited that that warms my heart
to hear that they're being impact. Yeah, So what would
you say, was was different about this experience than any

(22:18):
other thing that you've done, and like why this was.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
More successful than anything else?

Speaker 4 (22:32):
So what would you say was was different about this
experience than any other thing that you've done, and like
why this was more successful than anything else Because it's.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Not about food. I mean, it's of course, it's a
part of it, and you do speak to it. I
don't even know how far into the program we get
before you start talking about food, which cracked me up
the first week. I'm like, when are we talking about food?
Then you begin to relax into it and realize, hey,
you know, obviously this is much more comprehensive than that.
So it's you know, it's a lot of what we've

(23:02):
talked about. It's about coming into alignment with who you are.
For me, I feel like it's this woman that I
don't know somehow got buried a way back along the
way and got kind of some parts of me kind
of got lost, and I think it's been kind of
an uncovering of that. I think it's been coming, you know,
kind of back into alignment in every way. One of

(23:23):
your favorite things that I feel like, I hear you say, AiZ,
it's like I've sort of started showing up in my
own life in a different way than I've ever known.
And my family would say the same thing, So why
is this different? I actually wrote out two days ago
all the different programs, all the different things I've tried,
all the different diets, all the it was a notebook

(23:46):
page and a half.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
Were some other things like diets, therapy, like programs, Oh.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Weight watchers, every you know, keto, low car I've had
you know, a low calorie. I mean on and on,
I mean crazy aga, Oh, fitness programs, doctors, on and
on and on, unhealthy, unsafe things to do. And I
and every one of them has come to an end

(24:12):
because who has the willpower or would want to have
to live like in a teeny little box and never
enjoy that part of life? And and I will say
now that I know what I know, there's no unknowing this.
You know, there's no turning back. Thank God, there's no
time back.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
You can't learn life.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
No, it's things that I've learned about myself. It isn't
just like some again some program. It's not just information
because as you've already talked about Lee and you help
us to personalize it. It's my recipe, it's my language,
it's it's it's personalized to me. I mean, you've given

(24:54):
us the information. You've given us the principles, But it
is the hardest work I've ever done, and I hope
that's okay to say it is, yeah, very difficult. And
you asked me more than once. Are you in a
thousand percent? Can you commit a thousand percent? And I
was so ready. I had no idea. But I've gone

(25:14):
after it with everything that I have, and my family
has supported me, and I will never be the same.
So how is it? It's different than anything else because
it's forever, and it's not just a template to stick
over my life and like somehow try to fit into it.
It is like, you know, like I feel like it's

(25:35):
like a tea bag and it's like how it infuses
into the water. This has infused into my whole life
and I can't separate myself from this truth. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Amazing. Yeah, And I'm transparent about that.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
With any woman I talked to you that wants to,
you know, join the program, I'll be flat out.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
I'll be like, hey, like, you have to radically.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Commit to this for twelve weeks, and that's how we
are able to get the radical results. And twelve weeks
because I hear it all the time, I mean how
long this has been a forty to fifty year.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Struggle for you? Right, Well, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
I'm fifty four, so basically as long as I can remember.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
Okay, got it.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
Yeah, So I mean we're talking decades here, and people
always be like, yeah, you're telling me, Leanne, I'm fifty
four years old. I've done everything the under the sun
that hasn't worked. You're telling me in twelve weeks we
can heal this. And I always say, like, well, it
depends if you're a thousand person committed and you can
radically commit and like healthfully obsess over those or twelve weeks,
we can hit it in the head, you know, rather

(26:30):
than like draw it out like linger it. But yeah,
you're gonna have to work your ass off, and I'm
unapologetic about that.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
You know, all the things that are worth it, you
have to.

Speaker 4 (26:37):
But like, it's that kind of thing that like it
reaps rewards for the rest of your life, because yeah,
it's a system of thinking that grows and evolves as
you do. It's a forever conversation that yeah, now you
have the tools and the pathways and it's not like, oh,
here's a piece of the equation for twelve weeks, Like, well,
you don't get the.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Rest over the course of the year. It's like, no,
this is it. This is the system of thinking that
I live my life through.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Whenever I have like ebbs and flows, like I go
back to my own innercompass and my own declarations and
all of that, you know. But yeah, I tell people
thought out, I'm like, it's not gonna work unless you're
one thousand percent committed and you're wholehearted about healing this,
not putting dand aids on it, not dieting away, and
the difference between weight loss and freedom, and then you

(27:18):
get to bring freedom with you into the weight loss,
and it's a completely different it's just a completely different paradigm,
you know.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
So yeah, I'm unapologetic about it.

Speaker 4 (27:26):
You've got to work your ass off, but once you
have it, then you have it.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's totally doable, you know. Like it's not like it's
so overwhelming amounts of work. It's just it's it's hard introspection. Yeah,
and it's a lot of just being willing to be
open and honest and transparent. But I mean to support,
I think that's another thing I've never ever had support, Like.

Speaker 5 (27:49):
I'm always like alone trying to like make all the
foods and buy all the you know stuff And this
isn't even about food really, I mean not fully, but
to you to have all the information you know that
I have, you know, at my fingertips.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
To then to have a group of women, a tribe
of women that are going through the same thing habit
ups and downs, are willing to be open and transparent
with their lives. Like that's been human goous for me.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
And so why do you feel like it was actually
worth it for you to invest in this type of
transformation and get what you actually needed rather than go
down the like weight loss roller coaster. Because I told
you on our call right away, I was like, this
is not a program about weight loss, Like a lot
of people do lose weight when they're when they're going
through this process, but this is this is actually about
like ending the short term gratification trap and the diet

(28:40):
mentality which is weight loss, and healing this for good,
getting your freedom and then bringing that with you into
the rest of your life. What was it about like
that made you decide to actually invest in that rather
than go down those endless roads again, you.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Spoke my language. You understood. So I told you that
when I when I watched that video, I thought, for
the first time in my life, somebody actually seems to
understand my heart in this. So that was huge. I
think you know the fact that I'm an occupational therapist
and one of our things that we say is I'm
not going to hand someone to finish. I'm going to

(29:13):
teach them how to fish. Then you said that to me,
and I thought, wow, and that is the truth. I
have so many tools in my toolbox now that I
didn't have before. I have a whole recipe to get
myself back. I've many times and you've been witnessed to
many of these, like crack up, I'm losing my mind.

(29:36):
I've left you some voicemails and we call it the
velvet hammer at my house because how many times Aji
I had to lovingly, with a huge dose of love
tell me the truth straight up, and it's changed my life.
I will let my family listen to your to your
voicemails and they're like, wow, you know her truth, but

(29:59):
her but her side of love and huniver with it
has been so different. I mean, this is an investment
in in the rest of my life and the rest
of my family's life. And I believe in my in
my patients lives. I how I show up at work,
how I show up in my neighborhood, how I had
show up to my extended family, how I show up

(30:20):
at church? Like this is amazing. What other investment could
there be that would be greater? You know, to free
me up to be who I was always meant to be?

Speaker 4 (30:30):
Wow, what a beautiful way to say that, for you
up to be who are meant to always be, always
meant to be? So on that note, like I mean, obviously,
as you know, you were in that cycle for years,
like going down the diet route or the weight loss
route or the get quick results route. It's very seductive,
it's very tempting to want to fall into that trap,
right and it takes a lot of courage to say, no,

(30:52):
I am done with the short term gratification trap. I
have to actually like put in the work and heal
this for good. So what would you say to any one?
And who's on that fence right now? But she's tempted
to go back to the weight loss mentality, she's tempted
to go through another diet, She's tempted to ignore that
she knows she has an emotional relationship with food, that
she knows she's got like a self critical and self
rejecting relationship with herself, that she knows there's something deeper

(31:16):
that she can't heal with another diet. What would you
say to anyone who's sitting on the fence and is
afraid to take.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
That leap to actually, you know, put in the work
and healness.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
To me, this is a no brainer. I was making
some notes of just thinking through some things ahead of time,
and I also write wrote down the word this is
not a band aid. This is healing. This is a
journey of self care. It's the real answer. It is
all that you've been looking for. And you can stop.
You can stop running, you can stop striving. This is

(31:46):
where peace and freedom lie right here. And it's hard,
and it is an investment in all ways. It is
an investment in always, but it is worth everything, you know.
I don't know how many weeks I am, but I've
tried counseling. I've done a lot of that and there've
been some great gains in that. But that's been years

(32:07):
and years and years, and I still hadn't come to
this point, it's like, it's like a bomb in a
good way that goes off in your life and it
kind of shakes your it shakes your world in a
good way. But when you begin to put the pieces
back together, that's where freedom is. And I certainly still
have days where I'm you know, it's a hard day.

(32:28):
Of course, so do I. That's right, but we have
I have a different language. Now, I have a different
for myself. Now I have a different self respect, I
have a different self love. I actually didn't have any
of that. Yeah, yeah, that's all changed. Wow.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
That And just to kind of speak to something that
you just said, like, one of the things that we
always talk about is like, and this is where a
lot of the things fell short for me. It's like, Okay,
let's plan for what what's happening when like everything's hunky dory.
But it's like, no, let's plan for what happens when
like shit, it's the fan and we feel off of
our rocker. It's like, no, let's account for that, and
let's have breadcrumbs for that.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
And so that's one of the things that we do.
But also you said it felt like a bomb in
a good way, And.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
I think honestly, like, I think that's what women of
this world want when especially with we've been stuck in
the diet cycle.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
And it's rare that you need a woman that's been
stuck in the diet cycle for a year.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
It's usually decades. Like I know, for I was stuck
in it for decades as well, and I was just like,
I need something radically different, Like this is not working,
Like I wanted a bomb to go off in my life,
but I just didn't know that I wanted a bomb
to go off. And that's the metaphor that you just
use and I'm just picking up on it. But it's like,
we need to do something radically different. We need that

(33:41):
complete paradigm shift. We have got to change our hair
workings or else it's just going to be a temporary
fix and a band aid and it just it doesn't work.
So I love to use that word bomb because it's
kind of like, yeah, we've got to destroy the things
that aren't excellent and go put back the love and
plant the.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Seeds and create fertile soil.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
For those seeds to grow takes some time and energy,
but once you have it, you have the fertile soil
you have the foundations, and then you have the seeds
that you can sprinkle on any time you need to.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
Right, thank you for sharing that. Before we close out.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Is there anything else that's on your heart, anything else
you want to share about, you know, experiences from your
testimony that you think women would want.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
To hear, Just anything that's on your heart. Before we
sign out, I.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
Want to say, I think it's it's not a sprint,
it's a marathon. It's your life. And if this sounds
good to you, If freedom, if healing sounds good to you,
if restoration of you back into alignment with who you
really are sounds good, then this is a good place
for you because it's comprehensive. And I just feel like

(34:45):
I've returned to a woman filled with joy and self
respect and freedom in every way. That's exciting. I feel
like I'm just starting out, just on my next chapter
of life, and that's a good place to be. So beautiful, Well.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
Cheers to the next chapter and the next chap and
the next chapter.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
And back to who you are and getting to be
all of who you are rather than this compartmentalized version
or pretending to be something that you're not.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Like now, you just get to be.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
I was always trying to shrink back, you know. I
feel like, you know, you're trying to you know, quote
diet and like quote get smaller. And I just felt
like I was always stepping back from my life. And ironically, no,
I've needed to step into my life. I needed to
step forward into my life and not step back. I
didn't need to shrink back. That has changed. I'm not

(35:39):
shrinking back anymore, you know, in any area of my life.
So yeah, it's exciting.

Speaker 4 (35:45):
Yeah, that is an interesting kind of metaphor that you
just brought up, this idea like we're trying to shrink
our bodies, but what happens by default is we end
up shrinking ourselves.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
And it's like, yeah, that's such an interesting perspective that
you just brought to light, because it really is.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
It's like, that's the opposite direction we want to go.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
And we want to step into our powerful, confident, beautiful
self and beautiful we know, beautiful is an internal game,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
And that's why your son's friends.

Speaker 4 (36:10):
Said to you, like something's different about you. And it
wasn't about your body or your weight. It was an
energy everything shifted and people respond to that.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
They see it, they feel it, they notice it.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah, thank you, well.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony.

Speaker 4 (36:25):
Thanks you know, as in one of the things I
want to highlight ladies, like it's not always rainbows and butterflies.
She didn't sit to it from the beginning to be like, yeah,
it was great, but I just want to be better.
It's like no, like, this is the reality of where
we are. And there's so many women who are not
talking about their shame, just like you weren't. You didn't
even share it with anybody because it was so held
closely to your chest. And the reality is is like
you don't have to keep it a secret and you

(36:46):
don't have to go through it alone.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
You can get the help that you need. And you know,
thanks for its being a stand and sharing your truths.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
Because it's not always you know, easy to share where
we were and all that, And I just want to
honor you for that, because you know, we get so
much sut of hearing other people's journeys and testimonies, and
we all have different circumstances and experiences. But will you've
chosen to me and who you continue stepping into is
just extraordinary and inspiring and we're grateful for you sharing
your truth.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
For that and great for you girl, I love you.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
Thanks all right, ladies signing out for this little case study.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
Of Susan, and we're just grateful for you tuning in.
We'll catch you next time. We'll be back with more
What's God Got to Do with It?

Speaker 4 (37:27):
But in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear
from you, so just tell me where you are in
your story or maybe what questions you have, like where
do you feel you need clarity or support or wisdom
in your own journey. I definitely want to hear from you,
So head on over to What's God Got to Do
with It? Dot com and scroll down to the form

(37:48):
to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback, and you
can do that instantly. So What's God Got to Do
with It dot com you'll find all the ways.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
To do that. And if you like this podcast.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
And want to hear more, go ahead and follow, like,
and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to get your
weekly dose.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
Of What's God Got to Do with It?

Speaker 4 (38:08):
New episodes drop every single Tuesday, and while you're there,
be sure to rate and review to show your support.
It really means so much. What's God Got to Do
with It? Is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown
Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
It's written and hosted by

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Me Leanne Ellington, Executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production
and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music written by
Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
Advertise With Us

Host

Leanne Ellington

Leanne Ellington

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