December 5, 2022 • 25 mins
Louie worked alongside Ralph at the Columbia University package center, which was an oasis for me in a high stress environment. Being two Latin kids around the same age, Louie and I experienced two sides of this elite institution – me as a student, and Louie as an employee. Louie, ever positive, manages to distill life lessons from encounters with students and colleagues. He also shares his experience of being the oldest of three growing up ‘free range’ in the Dominican Republic and the clash between that and his working class life in the States.
“They would never respect us as they should have. One day, I just thought, they're gonna go on and live their life like nothing ever happened…and I'm stuck in the mailroom, still thinking about what just happened…so I would just brush it off. Who is it hurting, that person or is it hurting you?” –Louie
Creator & Host: Maria Fernanda Diez
Executive Producers: Gisselle Bances, Anna Stumpf, Nikki Ettore
Producer: Pablo Cabrera, Arlene Santana
Associate Producer: Claudia Marticorena
Original Theme Music: Tony Bruno
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Something I would take from their accountability. I take that
with me friendships, relationships, and work environments. Accountability is the
best thing that those guys ever taught us. On the
last episode, we got to talk to Ralph, who was
the manager at the Package center at Columbia University, and
today I get to introduce to you another incredible human
(00:24):
from that same world, Louie, who was one of the
workers at the package center who also took me under
his wings. He helped make me feel seen when I
felt utterly lost and confused. For me, there was a
strong connection with Louie, partially because we are approximately the
(00:46):
same age, so when we were at Columbia, we were
both growing up and figuring out who we wanted to be,
and we became part of each other's community. It's interesting
growing up on two sides of this elite institution because
our perspectives were very different, just simply in our day
to day activities, me as a student and Louis as
(01:08):
an employee there. For me, Louis embodies genuine generosity, kindness,
and joy. He is seemingly unapologetic for being who he is,
and he's a great reminder of being present and joyful
(01:29):
and that those things are a choice, and you can
dedicate time to becoming who you want to be by
the simple choices we make in our everyday lives. Welcome
to when You're Invisible. My name is Maria Fernanda, but
I know not everyone can roll there are, so it's
(01:50):
also fine to call me Maria. In today's world, we
love to tell stories about people who have reached the top,
like people who have achieved positions of cloud wealth power.
On this show, I won't be doing that. I'll be
talking to people who don't have traditional versions of these things.
There's a whole group of folks who make the world run,
who are never recognized and whose stories don't get told.
(02:11):
When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working
class and others who are seemingly invisible in our society.
I'm gonna impact perception, and I hope to be brave
enough to discover and hopefully correct some of my own biases.
Helped to build a community here that will inspire you
to have generous conversations with others that are different from you,
(02:33):
conversations that might help you see life in an entirely
different way. Just to reintroduce you to Columbia. I would
say the description of Hallowed Halls fits that school perfectly.
Some of the buildings are made of old wood and
marble and have stone floors with columns both inside and outside,
(02:57):
and the windows they're pretty epic. I felt like I
was on the side of a movie, and honestly, Columbia
is the set of many movies, so I wasn't wrong there.
But the role that I had been given was one
that I felt didn't quite fit me yet. And while
I made friends with other students there, it was actually
(03:19):
the Latinos who worked there that ended up becoming more
of my community. It's funny because all around me felt
a little intimidating, stuffy, old, little harsh and cold, and
they exuded warmth. I distinctly remember your laugh if I
(03:43):
walked into the building. You can hear my laugh on
the labba. I could hear it for me. You guys,
like the Package Center was like sanctuary. We tried a
lot of people don't do that, or like a lot
of people, even in privilege, don't do that. But we
all came from the same background. That's how we understood.
(04:03):
Did you guys know you came from the same background?
Or was that like a discovery moment. We got to
know each other very closely because we were there in
the busy times, like twelve to fourteen hours a day,
shoulder to shoulder working together, so we got to know
each other as personal problems while each other's family. To
this day, I still speak to most of them. Sometimes
(04:25):
I think about the American culture of picking yourself up
by the bootstraps and going it alone, and everything I
have is because I did it, and it just sounds
painful and it sounds lonely. And as someone who really
firmly believed in that way of being for a long
(04:46):
time and who was ultra independent to fault, I feel
like it's honestly not true. I don't think there's a
world in which we can truly make on our own
just by sheer circumstances. We're always going to be around someone,
and we're always going to be impacted by the people
(05:07):
around us, and to live that way is to deny
reality and to deny ourselves of like the potential of
what life could really look like. I haven't worked with
a group that well ever after Columbia, because we were
just worked well together. You know, we would go through things,
(05:28):
and we will cover for each other. So, like I
had an asthma incident one time where like I had
to go to the hospital and it was insane. I
was on like leave for a while. They had to
cover from me because I couldn't go to work. So
they would instead of calling an attempt, they would just say,
you know why, I got it. It just I'll take
care of it, or whatever it was. If one of
us got hurt on the job, you know, we would
(05:48):
take care of it, like, oh, I got you, we
have bandids, we have this. We took care of each
other very well. We got really really close to each other.
I don't think any of the students, faculty, or administration
really understood the work that they were doing. I don't
think they ever saw it. And I didn't really fully
(06:09):
see the full extent of it. I only got stories
and the glimpses from running in the back with them
or staying for several hours in the package center and
watching certain interactions happened. But I think for the most
part everyone was oblivious. Working under those weather conditions and
working outside is just insane. I mean those snowstorms and
(06:29):
we'd be outside trying to get ups packages, three of them,
you know, so they wouldn't come up and deliver it.
We had to go down and pick them up. At
the time, we had over eight thousand undergrads that we
had to take care of, especially getting care packages from home.
One drove out a whole closet, shipped whole closet, the
(06:53):
clothes still hanging in them. Yes, there was a saying
that we used to say, is like common senses in
that common we used to say a lot the things
the students said to us. Sometimes it was it was
just baffling to us. It's just like we had a system, right,
we get the packages, we have to scan them in
the system. We had to type in the mailbox or
(07:15):
their last name, the label will pronounce, will slap the
label on the package, and then we would put it
on the rack. Obviously we'll have a number and everything,
so when you come up to us in the counter,
we could just search out you know, Maria, and then
we know, oh, it's on rack, and that was the process.
Sometimes we will get backed up. Students would just walk
up to us like, why can't you just go back
(07:35):
there and get my package, and we would explain to
them it's not that simple. It's not in the system yet.
I think there's this vibe in the world sometimes, and
I think it happens with social media, which is like, oh,
I only see what I can see, and I can't
imagine the life behind it or the work behind it.
(07:57):
And I think, honestly, yeah, no, I don't think both
fully realized the work that went into their job and
how much was demanded of them and the hours. Literally
the hours was so shocking to me when I found out,
and I had no clue and I didn't really fully
fathom that until they were like, yeah, I didn't leave
till like three am, and it's already eight am here,
(08:19):
and I know that they have a two hour train ride,
so it's like crazy to me to think about, and
like you're not allowed to like sleep in the package center,
sleeping in the building, that kind of thing. So it's
just like one of those things where, yeah, you don't
factor it in, but I do know. One of them
had a three hour commute. It was like two to
(08:40):
three buses in a subway, and that to me, it's like,
not only are you doing the crazy hours of the
job and all the intense work at the job, but
you're also factoring in all the time you spend traveling
for this job. When I lived in Dominican Republic, I
lived there for four years, Okay, born and raised here.
(09:01):
I left when I was ten. I came back when
I was fourteen, so I needed to, you know, learn
the language, learn the culture, learn everything all over again.
Why did you move to the Dominican Republic and then
why did you come back? Because my mom wanted to
go to school. She wanted to be a mental high
jenas so she wanted to go to school and she
couldn't do it with three kids. So my grandparents offered.
(09:21):
They were retired in Dominican Republic, and they said, why
not just bring them here more when we come back
from a break. And now back to our conversation. When
(09:46):
I found out that Louis spent time in the Dominican
Republic without his mom and like living with his grandparents,
I felt so much for him and like also a
lot of excitement along with that. But it's something that
he and I slightly share, Like I never stayed in
Mexico for longer than four months, but my parents would
(10:07):
ship me and my brother off without them, and so
growing up with family is like a whole another ball game.
Without your parental supervision, you kind of have to start
figuring out who you are more and more. And louis
being the eldest of three, I'm like, that must have
been incredibly formative. You know, we were kids. I was
(10:30):
ten years old, my brother was seven. I wanted to
say my little sister was too. And since I didn't
know Spanish and I couldn't read it, write it, I
really couldn't speak it. It was just like put him
in the same grade. So I did the fourth grade twice.
I came back when I was in eighth grade, so
I did eighth grade here. Okay, when I was learning
in high school here. When I finally went to high school,
(10:50):
I learned the Dominican Republic in sixth grade, so they're
very advance. And plus I had a tutor after school,
so my mind was just always absorbing when I was there.
While I'm aware of the gaps internationally and nationally in education,
it's still remarkable to hear him describe the difference in
quality of schooling. We bonded over the reality that public
(11:11):
American schools don't often provide students with the level of rigor.
That's on par with the rest of the world. Louis
mentioned he had more than one tutor. That's like probably
two to four hours of work with a tutor, and then,
like some tutors give homework on top of that, and
so the amount of time spent and effort he put
(11:35):
in is actually really incredible. What was your favorite part
of the Dominican Republic. I want to say it's the freedom.
I learned how to drive when I was twelve. I
was driving cars and Dominican Republic no license though motorcycles
to learn how to drive stick shift. I learned how
to write on a dirt bike and it was bigger
than me. I couldn't even get on it. I had
to get on the sidewalk, get on a little stoop
(11:56):
or something, and then get on the bike. Oh my god, Wait,
did your grandparents know about it? No, absolutely not. They
knew after I did it, so they knew. Once I
came back from it, I was all excited, like, oh
my god, you know you get the after like Jitters
and I what were you all the I was like,
I learned how to write a more cycle. I'm glad
he got that. Time in the d R to be
(12:17):
a little more free and to have his grandparents watching
over them in some shape or form. But then when
they get back to the States, Louis really has to
step up. And it's like crazy to notice and to
really digest the fact that, Okay, you can be wealthy
in one country, like he mentioned going to like a
wealthy school in a wealthy neighborhood in the d R
(12:41):
and then poor working class in the US, and to
like go from having that much freedom to being back
in the States and having to take care of your siblings.
Growing up, I mean, it was tough I had to
take care of and it was the nineties, so I
was whipping off, you know, bread and maynnaise sandwiches for everybody.
(13:03):
So it was it was a curveball. So like, I
grew up early because of course in d R you
had to do your own things as well, and then
here I had to do things as well. So I
basically raised my brother and sister. But I wouldn't take
away from that because it maybe who I am today.
I asked Louis what he thought of me when we
first met. For the longest time, I thought you were
like Caucasian because your mannerisms and your English is so proper,
(13:28):
and you came in there, you were nice, you were shy.
At the beginning, I was so so you were very shy,
and I could not cannot break you for the life
of me. It was just who And then I think
one time you spoke sp Oh, that's what that was.
We were all speaking Spanish because that's what we did,
and you broke out and you said what you said
(13:49):
in Spanish? Wait where are you from? It? You're like, wow,
Like I love when people speak Spanish, like a fucking
love it. I don't know if this is for you,
but like for me, I'm like, oh, there's a part
of me that it's to come out in a way
that I don't normally get to come out if I'm
like just speaking English. Sometimes. That's kind of how I
knew when you told me that you were Mexican for sure,
(14:09):
because you're You're Spanish was very proper, and that's how
you know, Dominican Spanish is just like a slang, so
when you would speak it was very, very, very proper.
So that's how we kind of figured that you came
from Mexican descent. My parents definitely were purists, with the language,
like they cared about maintaining the culture and the language.
(14:31):
They also thought of like, well, if you can speak
Spanish and English perfectly, that's already an asset. You're already
ahead of the game. And I think to like my parents,
because it came from Mexican culture and being here, that's
when they started understanding other cultures in American culture and
(14:51):
then Latino culture, like US Latino culture, because I have
such an affinity for like the multi layered, like American
hyphen it cultures that exist as well, because it's out
of like love, and it's out of necessity, and it's
out of like the blend of it where it's like
my parents were like deeply respectful of the Mexican flag,
deeply respectful of their protocols, and like we're really confused
(15:15):
when those protocols weren't respected. Like I think, to them,
sp English was really like a bastardization and a lack
of education or a lack of respecting your heritage and
your roots versus like the birth of being a part
of more than one thing. Yeah, we would speak Spanish
(15:37):
to each other, at least me Ralph, and there was
another loo there. He was Puerto Rican, so we were
you know, it's the same Spanish, It's just the accents
are different. But yeah, we mostly spoke Spanish to each other,
especially when we were frustrated with the students. But then
Ralph caught on and he was like, you guys can't
do that. We knew we were being rude. Were just
(15:58):
we didn't care. Yeah, you're like, this is my actor
rebellion for you just didn't care. I was young. I
started working to call on me when I was nineteen. Also,
like questions since you were around like people's age, did
you feel a big difference or like what did you think? Yeah?
Of course, because the students wouldn't take me seriously. They
(16:19):
just thought that there's a kid my age behind the counter.
Why should I respect him or why should I listen
to him? You know. So that was a big like
self esteements at the beginning, because I was always second
guessing myself because the students were always questioning me as
if I'm one of them instead of an authority, like
you know one of the managers were oh interesting, they
(16:41):
would never respect us as they should have. One day,
I just thought, why am I letting this bother me?
They're going to go on and live their life like
nothing ever happened. Then you're the one that's stuck. You're frustrated.
Who is it hurting that person or is it hurting you?
Turning you? It just turned and switched in my mind,
and I was just like, I'm not going to be
as men students that got all my nerves every single day.
(17:03):
I still wouldn't let it bother me because they're gonna
go and study, or they're gonna go and take the test,
and they're going to go and do their thing and
not think about what just happened in the may room.
And I'm stuck in the mary room still thinking about
what just happened. So I would just let brush it off.
What's like the craziest story. This student wanted her package,
she one of the same things. She couldn't get it
(17:23):
at that moment, and when the processed and she threw
herself on the floor and started screaming, put her fingers
in her ears and started screaming, la la, la la.
She was just she wouldn't want to hear it. She
didn't want to hear what we had to say. Yeah,
it was very very intense. I also love to think
about this as in like, these are people that go
(17:43):
to Columbia University. We said that a lot too. This
is Columbia more when we come back from a break.
And now back to this episode of one Year Invisible,
I was doing this play that I was really proud of.
(18:06):
It's called Top Girls by Carol Churchill, but Churchill is
notorious for being long, and it was a three hour play.
It was a three hour play where I played like
three different characters, and Louie and Ralph we're like, you
are clearly really excited about this play. We'll go see it,
(18:26):
like we'll go support And I was like, oh my god,
really and they're like, yeah, we'll do it. And I'm like,
just so you know, it's three hours. They're like, that's fine.
And so a day that they had off, they chose
to come down to Columbia from their respective corners of
the boroughs and spend three hours in a dark theater.
(18:49):
It was one of my proudest moments during my Columbia
career because I had never felt so seen and appreciated,
like they knew me in one capacity and they were
willing to come see me in another one. Like and
the thing that I cared about the most, and it
(19:10):
was super foreign to them. I think that it really
showed me that they cared, and it showed me like
how you show up for people and how you make
compromises for people, and how like, Also, it doesn't matter
what it is if it matters to the person you
care about, Like you can be enthusiastic and generous with
(19:32):
your time and with your energy, you know. I was
telling my girlfriend, I'm going to go on this podcast
my friend and she was like, what for what, Like,
what's going on? I was like, no, she wasn't. She's
an actress. She's great. I told her about the play
that I went to go see, and I was telling
my roommate earlier. Um, it was the specific scene where
(19:54):
you were speaking to the other actors and you dug
your finger. I did the skirt and then you went
like this it was blood. And it was just like
that kind of thing really because sitting there, it was
just like you're watching a play and it was it
was interesting to watch. But then I was like, oh
my god, you know, it was very very good. Yeah,
(20:18):
that meant a lot to have you there. The accident
that you did. I was like, wow, that was pretty.
It was like watching a completely different person on stage.
Leaving that group of people was I think one of
the harder things I had to do, not being able
to have a place that's a haven and people who
(20:38):
just made every day more exciting and more connected. Like
I think, leaving them was really hard. And Louis does
the same, Like Louis leaves not long after I graduated,
and he goes out into the world and the reality
is not every team, not every working environment is an
(20:59):
actual community the way that they had built so diligently
at Columbia, and he has to go out in the
world and figure out like who he is and what
he wants in a different way without the guys constantly
being there. It happened for a reason. That's my model.
It happened for a reason. My life is always shifting
(21:19):
in different places, So I take it as it happened
for a reason. Where are we going, you know, instead
of fighting it like, oh I don't want to do
this or I don't want to go that way, I'm
just like having for a reason, you know, especially like
during the pandemic. I lost my job in the pandemic
because I was working for a construction company before window company. Um,
(21:42):
you know, I lost my job because construction wasn't happening
and they couldn't do anything with us. So then I'm
just I was I wasn't pissed, I was scared. You know,
I've never been without a job before. I've always been working.
You every when I was going to school, I was
still working. I've always liked to have that constant income.
(22:04):
It was scary if I was able to find my
job that I have now, So it worked out for
the better. I'm really grateful Louis had a support system
during the pandemic so that he could start asking questions
about what he really wanted to dedicate his life too.
And while his current position isn't his passion and I
(22:24):
think mostly for financial security. Right now, he is working
on getting his real estate license, which is something he's
always been curious about. I'm really proud of Louis. I'm
really proud of us, and I'm honored to have this
opportunity to reflect on the time that we spent together
(22:45):
in community and getting to see how far we've come
and acknowledging that we are both still in process. I
think Guy didn't fully realize, like I kind of knew,
like the guys kind of filled me in, but you
never really know till you're actually doing it. Is like
(23:07):
how much the city costs, and also what it's like
to pursue a career while trying to make money to survive,
because many many people, including myself, like end up and
really strange or abusive jobs where it's like you can
be a hostess, a reservationists to server, and you can
(23:30):
be in nanny and a tutor and I name all
of these things, and I've been all of these things.
I was really really lucky to like be able to
find a way into like the tutoring and the nanny world.
And the thing about New York is like there's an
extreme level of wealth that's present in the city and
(23:54):
it's crazy once you enter those doors, the things you
see and the things you find and the way you're
treated both good and bad. And in our next episode,
we're actually going to be talking about what that experience
feels like from my friend Anicia, who has been a
(24:15):
nanny and is a personal chef, and we'll be talking
about what that's like when you walk in and what
you have to do to survive as a luxury item
for the wealthy. Yes, thank you so much for listening
to When You're Invisible and for joining me on this journey.
(24:35):
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. You can find
this episode and future ones on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm your
host and creator Maria with executive producers Anna Stump, Nikki
Ittour and producers Arlene Santana and Bablo Cabrera, with associate
(24:59):
producer Claudia Martha Corena and post production producer Daisy James.
Original theme music by Tony Bruno. When You're Invisible is
an I Heart podcast Network production in partnership with Michel
Toura Podcast Network
Something I would take from their accountability. I take that
with me friendships, relationships, and work environments. Accountability is the
best thing that those guys ever taught us. On the
last episode, we got to talk to Ralph, who was
the manager at the Package center at Columbia University, and
today I get to introduce to you another incredible human
(00:24):
from that same world, Louie, who was one of the
workers at the package center who also took me under
his wings. He helped make me feel seen when I
felt utterly lost and confused. For me, there was a
strong connection with Louie, partially because we are approximately the
(00:46):
same age, so when we were at Columbia, we were
both growing up and figuring out who we wanted to be,
and we became part of each other's community. It's interesting
growing up on two sides of this elite institution because
our perspectives were very different, just simply in our day
to day activities, me as a student and Louis as
(01:08):
an employee there. For me, Louis embodies genuine generosity, kindness,
and joy. He is seemingly unapologetic for being who he is,
and he's a great reminder of being present and joyful
(01:29):
and that those things are a choice, and you can
dedicate time to becoming who you want to be by
the simple choices we make in our everyday lives. Welcome
to when You're Invisible. My name is Maria Fernanda, but
I know not everyone can roll there are, so it's
(01:50):
also fine to call me Maria. In today's world, we
love to tell stories about people who have reached the top,
like people who have achieved positions of cloud wealth power.
On this show, I won't be doing that. I'll be
talking to people who don't have traditional versions of these things.
There's a whole group of folks who make the world run,
who are never recognized and whose stories don't get told.
(02:11):
When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working
class and others who are seemingly invisible in our society.
I'm gonna impact perception, and I hope to be brave
enough to discover and hopefully correct some of my own biases.
Helped to build a community here that will inspire you
to have generous conversations with others that are different from you,
(02:33):
conversations that might help you see life in an entirely
different way. Just to reintroduce you to Columbia. I would
say the description of Hallowed Halls fits that school perfectly.
Some of the buildings are made of old wood and
marble and have stone floors with columns both inside and outside,
(02:57):
and the windows they're pretty epic. I felt like I
was on the side of a movie, and honestly, Columbia
is the set of many movies, so I wasn't wrong there.
But the role that I had been given was one
that I felt didn't quite fit me yet. And while
I made friends with other students there, it was actually
(03:19):
the Latinos who worked there that ended up becoming more
of my community. It's funny because all around me felt
a little intimidating, stuffy, old, little harsh and cold, and
they exuded warmth. I distinctly remember your laugh if I
(03:43):
walked into the building. You can hear my laugh on
the labba. I could hear it for me. You guys,
like the Package Center was like sanctuary. We tried a
lot of people don't do that, or like a lot
of people, even in privilege, don't do that. But we
all came from the same background. That's how we understood.
(04:03):
Did you guys know you came from the same background?
Or was that like a discovery moment. We got to
know each other very closely because we were there in
the busy times, like twelve to fourteen hours a day,
shoulder to shoulder working together, so we got to know
each other as personal problems while each other's family. To
this day, I still speak to most of them. Sometimes
(04:25):
I think about the American culture of picking yourself up
by the bootstraps and going it alone, and everything I
have is because I did it, and it just sounds
painful and it sounds lonely. And as someone who really
firmly believed in that way of being for a long
(04:46):
time and who was ultra independent to fault, I feel
like it's honestly not true. I don't think there's a
world in which we can truly make on our own
just by sheer circumstances. We're always going to be around someone,
and we're always going to be impacted by the people
(05:07):
around us, and to live that way is to deny
reality and to deny ourselves of like the potential of
what life could really look like. I haven't worked with
a group that well ever after Columbia, because we were
just worked well together. You know, we would go through things,
(05:28):
and we will cover for each other. So, like I
had an asthma incident one time where like I had
to go to the hospital and it was insane. I
was on like leave for a while. They had to
cover from me because I couldn't go to work. So
they would instead of calling an attempt, they would just say,
you know why, I got it. It just I'll take
care of it, or whatever it was. If one of
us got hurt on the job, you know, we would
(05:48):
take care of it, like, oh, I got you, we
have bandids, we have this. We took care of each
other very well. We got really really close to each other.
I don't think any of the students, faculty, or administration
really understood the work that they were doing. I don't
think they ever saw it. And I didn't really fully
(06:09):
see the full extent of it. I only got stories
and the glimpses from running in the back with them
or staying for several hours in the package center and
watching certain interactions happened. But I think for the most
part everyone was oblivious. Working under those weather conditions and
working outside is just insane. I mean those snowstorms and
(06:29):
we'd be outside trying to get ups packages, three of them,
you know, so they wouldn't come up and deliver it.
We had to go down and pick them up. At
the time, we had over eight thousand undergrads that we
had to take care of, especially getting care packages from home.
One drove out a whole closet, shipped whole closet, the
(06:53):
clothes still hanging in them. Yes, there was a saying
that we used to say, is like common senses in
that common we used to say a lot the things
the students said to us. Sometimes it was it was
just baffling to us. It's just like we had a system, right,
we get the packages, we have to scan them in
the system. We had to type in the mailbox or
(07:15):
their last name, the label will pronounce, will slap the
label on the package, and then we would put it
on the rack. Obviously we'll have a number and everything,
so when you come up to us in the counter,
we could just search out you know, Maria, and then
we know, oh, it's on rack, and that was the process.
Sometimes we will get backed up. Students would just walk
up to us like, why can't you just go back
(07:35):
there and get my package, and we would explain to
them it's not that simple. It's not in the system yet.
I think there's this vibe in the world sometimes, and
I think it happens with social media, which is like, oh,
I only see what I can see, and I can't
imagine the life behind it or the work behind it.
(07:57):
And I think, honestly, yeah, no, I don't think both
fully realized the work that went into their job and
how much was demanded of them and the hours. Literally
the hours was so shocking to me when I found out,
and I had no clue and I didn't really fully
fathom that until they were like, yeah, I didn't leave
till like three am, and it's already eight am here,
(08:19):
and I know that they have a two hour train ride,
so it's like crazy to me to think about, and
like you're not allowed to like sleep in the package center,
sleeping in the building, that kind of thing. So it's
just like one of those things where, yeah, you don't
factor it in, but I do know. One of them
had a three hour commute. It was like two to
(08:40):
three buses in a subway, and that to me, it's like,
not only are you doing the crazy hours of the
job and all the intense work at the job, but
you're also factoring in all the time you spend traveling
for this job. When I lived in Dominican Republic, I
lived there for four years, Okay, born and raised here.
(09:01):
I left when I was ten. I came back when
I was fourteen, so I needed to, you know, learn
the language, learn the culture, learn everything all over again.
Why did you move to the Dominican Republic and then
why did you come back? Because my mom wanted to
go to school. She wanted to be a mental high
jenas so she wanted to go to school and she
couldn't do it with three kids. So my grandparents offered.
(09:21):
They were retired in Dominican Republic, and they said, why
not just bring them here more when we come back
from a break. And now back to our conversation. When
(09:46):
I found out that Louis spent time in the Dominican
Republic without his mom and like living with his grandparents,
I felt so much for him and like also a
lot of excitement along with that. But it's something that
he and I slightly share, Like I never stayed in
Mexico for longer than four months, but my parents would
(10:07):
ship me and my brother off without them, and so
growing up with family is like a whole another ball game.
Without your parental supervision, you kind of have to start
figuring out who you are more and more. And louis
being the eldest of three, I'm like, that must have
been incredibly formative. You know, we were kids. I was
(10:30):
ten years old, my brother was seven. I wanted to
say my little sister was too. And since I didn't
know Spanish and I couldn't read it, write it, I
really couldn't speak it. It was just like put him
in the same grade. So I did the fourth grade twice.
I came back when I was in eighth grade, so
I did eighth grade here. Okay, when I was learning
in high school here. When I finally went to high school,
(10:50):
I learned the Dominican Republic in sixth grade, so they're
very advance. And plus I had a tutor after school,
so my mind was just always absorbing when I was there.
While I'm aware of the gaps internationally and nationally in education,
it's still remarkable to hear him describe the difference in
quality of schooling. We bonded over the reality that public
(11:11):
American schools don't often provide students with the level of rigor.
That's on par with the rest of the world. Louis
mentioned he had more than one tutor. That's like probably
two to four hours of work with a tutor, and then,
like some tutors give homework on top of that, and
so the amount of time spent and effort he put
(11:35):
in is actually really incredible. What was your favorite part
of the Dominican Republic. I want to say it's the freedom.
I learned how to drive when I was twelve. I
was driving cars and Dominican Republic no license though motorcycles
to learn how to drive stick shift. I learned how
to write on a dirt bike and it was bigger
than me. I couldn't even get on it. I had
to get on the sidewalk, get on a little stoop
(11:56):
or something, and then get on the bike. Oh my god, Wait,
did your grandparents know about it? No, absolutely not. They
knew after I did it, so they knew. Once I
came back from it, I was all excited, like, oh
my god, you know you get the after like Jitters
and I what were you all the I was like,
I learned how to write a more cycle. I'm glad
he got that. Time in the d R to be
(12:17):
a little more free and to have his grandparents watching
over them in some shape or form. But then when
they get back to the States, Louis really has to
step up. And it's like crazy to notice and to
really digest the fact that, Okay, you can be wealthy
in one country, like he mentioned going to like a
wealthy school in a wealthy neighborhood in the d R
(12:41):
and then poor working class in the US, and to
like go from having that much freedom to being back
in the States and having to take care of your siblings.
Growing up, I mean, it was tough I had to
take care of and it was the nineties, so I
was whipping off, you know, bread and maynnaise sandwiches for everybody.
(13:03):
So it was it was a curveball. So like, I
grew up early because of course in d R you
had to do your own things as well, and then
here I had to do things as well. So I
basically raised my brother and sister. But I wouldn't take
away from that because it maybe who I am today.
I asked Louis what he thought of me when we
first met. For the longest time, I thought you were
like Caucasian because your mannerisms and your English is so proper,
(13:28):
and you came in there, you were nice, you were shy.
At the beginning, I was so so you were very shy,
and I could not cannot break you for the life
of me. It was just who And then I think
one time you spoke sp Oh, that's what that was.
We were all speaking Spanish because that's what we did,
and you broke out and you said what you said
(13:49):
in Spanish? Wait where are you from? It? You're like, wow,
Like I love when people speak Spanish, like a fucking
love it. I don't know if this is for you,
but like for me, I'm like, oh, there's a part
of me that it's to come out in a way
that I don't normally get to come out if I'm
like just speaking English. Sometimes. That's kind of how I
knew when you told me that you were Mexican for sure,
(14:09):
because you're You're Spanish was very proper, and that's how
you know, Dominican Spanish is just like a slang, so
when you would speak it was very, very, very proper.
So that's how we kind of figured that you came
from Mexican descent. My parents definitely were purists, with the language,
like they cared about maintaining the culture and the language.
(14:31):
They also thought of like, well, if you can speak
Spanish and English perfectly, that's already an asset. You're already
ahead of the game. And I think to like my parents,
because it came from Mexican culture and being here, that's
when they started understanding other cultures in American culture and
(14:51):
then Latino culture, like US Latino culture, because I have
such an affinity for like the multi layered, like American
hyphen it cultures that exist as well, because it's out
of like love, and it's out of necessity, and it's
out of like the blend of it where it's like
my parents were like deeply respectful of the Mexican flag,
deeply respectful of their protocols, and like we're really confused
(15:15):
when those protocols weren't respected. Like I think, to them,
sp English was really like a bastardization and a lack
of education or a lack of respecting your heritage and
your roots versus like the birth of being a part
of more than one thing. Yeah, we would speak Spanish
(15:37):
to each other, at least me Ralph, and there was
another loo there. He was Puerto Rican, so we were
you know, it's the same Spanish, It's just the accents
are different. But yeah, we mostly spoke Spanish to each other,
especially when we were frustrated with the students. But then
Ralph caught on and he was like, you guys can't
do that. We knew we were being rude. Were just
(15:58):
we didn't care. Yeah, you're like, this is my actor
rebellion for you just didn't care. I was young. I
started working to call on me when I was nineteen. Also,
like questions since you were around like people's age, did
you feel a big difference or like what did you think? Yeah?
Of course, because the students wouldn't take me seriously. They
(16:19):
just thought that there's a kid my age behind the counter.
Why should I respect him or why should I listen
to him? You know. So that was a big like
self esteements at the beginning, because I was always second
guessing myself because the students were always questioning me as
if I'm one of them instead of an authority, like
you know one of the managers were oh interesting, they
(16:41):
would never respect us as they should have. One day,
I just thought, why am I letting this bother me?
They're going to go on and live their life like
nothing ever happened. Then you're the one that's stuck. You're frustrated.
Who is it hurting that person or is it hurting you?
Turning you? It just turned and switched in my mind,
and I was just like, I'm not going to be
as men students that got all my nerves every single day.
(17:03):
I still wouldn't let it bother me because they're gonna
go and study, or they're gonna go and take the test,
and they're going to go and do their thing and
not think about what just happened in the may room.
And I'm stuck in the mary room still thinking about
what just happened. So I would just let brush it off.
What's like the craziest story. This student wanted her package,
she one of the same things. She couldn't get it
(17:23):
at that moment, and when the processed and she threw
herself on the floor and started screaming, put her fingers
in her ears and started screaming, la la, la la.
She was just she wouldn't want to hear it. She
didn't want to hear what we had to say. Yeah,
it was very very intense. I also love to think
about this as in like, these are people that go
(17:43):
to Columbia University. We said that a lot too. This
is Columbia more when we come back from a break.
And now back to this episode of one Year Invisible,
I was doing this play that I was really proud of.
(18:06):
It's called Top Girls by Carol Churchill, but Churchill is
notorious for being long, and it was a three hour play.
It was a three hour play where I played like
three different characters, and Louie and Ralph we're like, you
are clearly really excited about this play. We'll go see it,
(18:26):
like we'll go support And I was like, oh my god,
really and they're like, yeah, we'll do it. And I'm like,
just so you know, it's three hours. They're like, that's fine.
And so a day that they had off, they chose
to come down to Columbia from their respective corners of
the boroughs and spend three hours in a dark theater.
(18:49):
It was one of my proudest moments during my Columbia
career because I had never felt so seen and appreciated,
like they knew me in one capacity and they were
willing to come see me in another one. Like and
the thing that I cared about the most, and it
(19:10):
was super foreign to them. I think that it really
showed me that they cared, and it showed me like
how you show up for people and how you make
compromises for people, and how like, Also, it doesn't matter
what it is if it matters to the person you
care about, Like you can be enthusiastic and generous with
(19:32):
your time and with your energy, you know. I was
telling my girlfriend, I'm going to go on this podcast
my friend and she was like, what for what, Like,
what's going on? I was like, no, she wasn't. She's
an actress. She's great. I told her about the play
that I went to go see, and I was telling
my roommate earlier. Um, it was the specific scene where
(19:54):
you were speaking to the other actors and you dug
your finger. I did the skirt and then you went
like this it was blood. And it was just like
that kind of thing really because sitting there, it was
just like you're watching a play and it was it
was interesting to watch. But then I was like, oh
my god, you know, it was very very good. Yeah,
(20:18):
that meant a lot to have you there. The accident
that you did. I was like, wow, that was pretty.
It was like watching a completely different person on stage.
Leaving that group of people was I think one of
the harder things I had to do, not being able
to have a place that's a haven and people who
(20:38):
just made every day more exciting and more connected. Like
I think, leaving them was really hard. And Louis does
the same, Like Louis leaves not long after I graduated,
and he goes out into the world and the reality
is not every team, not every working environment is an
(20:59):
actual community the way that they had built so diligently
at Columbia, and he has to go out in the
world and figure out like who he is and what
he wants in a different way without the guys constantly
being there. It happened for a reason. That's my model.
It happened for a reason. My life is always shifting
(21:19):
in different places, So I take it as it happened
for a reason. Where are we going, you know, instead
of fighting it like, oh I don't want to do
this or I don't want to go that way, I'm
just like having for a reason, you know, especially like
during the pandemic. I lost my job in the pandemic
because I was working for a construction company before window company. Um,
(21:42):
you know, I lost my job because construction wasn't happening
and they couldn't do anything with us. So then I'm
just I was I wasn't pissed, I was scared. You know,
I've never been without a job before. I've always been working.
You every when I was going to school, I was
still working. I've always liked to have that constant income.
(22:04):
It was scary if I was able to find my
job that I have now, So it worked out for
the better. I'm really grateful Louis had a support system
during the pandemic so that he could start asking questions
about what he really wanted to dedicate his life too.
And while his current position isn't his passion and I
(22:24):
think mostly for financial security. Right now, he is working
on getting his real estate license, which is something he's
always been curious about. I'm really proud of Louis. I'm
really proud of us, and I'm honored to have this
opportunity to reflect on the time that we spent together
(22:45):
in community and getting to see how far we've come
and acknowledging that we are both still in process. I
think Guy didn't fully realize, like I kind of knew,
like the guys kind of filled me in, but you
never really know till you're actually doing it. Is like
(23:07):
how much the city costs, and also what it's like
to pursue a career while trying to make money to survive,
because many many people, including myself, like end up and
really strange or abusive jobs where it's like you can
be a hostess, a reservationists to server, and you can
(23:30):
be in nanny and a tutor and I name all
of these things, and I've been all of these things.
I was really really lucky to like be able to
find a way into like the tutoring and the nanny world.
And the thing about New York is like there's an
extreme level of wealth that's present in the city and
(23:54):
it's crazy once you enter those doors, the things you
see and the things you find and the way you're
treated both good and bad. And in our next episode,
we're actually going to be talking about what that experience
feels like from my friend Anicia, who has been a
(24:15):
nanny and is a personal chef, and we'll be talking
about what that's like when you walk in and what
you have to do to survive as a luxury item
for the wealthy. Yes, thank you so much for listening
to When You're Invisible and for joining me on this journey.
(24:35):
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. You can find
this episode and future ones on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm your
host and creator Maria with executive producers Anna Stump, Nikki
Ittour and producers Arlene Santana and Bablo Cabrera, with associate
(24:59):
producer Claudia Martha Corena and post production producer Daisy James.
Original theme music by Tony Bruno. When You're Invisible is
an I Heart podcast Network production in partnership with Michel
Toura Podcast Network
Host
Maria Fernanda Diez
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