Ep. 365: Full-Time Lesbian (Ft. Mal Glowenke)

This week the ladies are joined by Mal Glowenke, who just recently dropped her new podcast named: “Made It Out”. The ladies get into Lesbian love, Mal’s last time being with a man, Lesbian slurs, Lesbian wage Premium & why lesbians make more than other women. After figuring out the premium,  Mal talks about what makes good “kitty”, personal preferences in women, having your first time with a woman, favorite toys, and much more!

Follow Mal & Her Show:
@Malglowenke
@MadeItOutPodcast

SUNDAY, MAY 5TH 2024 EartH Theatre!
London, England. We are coming for our final show!
So get off your fanny, spend some quid, and come see the bloody show mate!
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SUN MAY 26TH
TwoGether Land!
We are coming to Fair Park in Dallas, Texas!
https://twogetherland.com/

SATURDAY, APRIL 27TH 2024 BLACK EFFECT PODCAST FESTIVAL
Atlanta, Georgia! The ladies join the rest of the Black Effect crew and are going in RAW.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what decision We're about to make? Horrible decision? How
do everybody? We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we
are going to be in Dallas, Texas Memorial Day weekend,
which is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two
together Land Festival, and you bitch is better than how
No motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out ho?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I mean you could do that, but also it's a
three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see
you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival.
Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be
live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Get your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys,
welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I'm your girl,
Mandy b I'm weezy ooh like you put, I don't anyway,
I'm weasy. And it's women's history months, so to be fair,
we had women of all different colors and creeds. But

(01:00):
the reason we have our guests on is because honestly,
I just love the content you're making in your clips.
And I saw that Mandy liked one, and Mandy normally
don't like have a white guest when I'm like, oh,
Mandy liked some so I.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Like the one where I only saw a black girl
on So when she said you know this girl, I said, no, don't.
We have now on the pod. Jesus right by the way,
before we just started this goddamn episode, we just had
a full dissection of Mouth's shoes because I am convinced
they were regifted to her. She said they got she
got them from a black person. They are like, they

(01:31):
are boots.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
They are boots the Air Force one, Air Force one
combat boots. But they're black. That's lesbian. It is. Yeah,
She's kind of right, it is, and maybe that's why
they were gifted to you. Okay, I don't know she gay? Yeah, okay,
did you guys? Fuck? No, Oh, we've been friends since
like middle school. I don't think she was a shooter

(01:55):
because who else is buying black Air Force one? Like
I need to know. You might need to ask her
if she got weapons in her house. Oh my god,
I I'm shocked. I'm not about to ask my black
friend and favorite guy. No, seriously, y'all, I'm looking at
me like I'm a little scared of you. I ain't
even gonna hold you mount. But you know, I don't
know how you get down, but them shoes say you

(02:15):
get down a certain way. That's all I'm gonna say.
That's why we like it so far. So now your
podcast called Made It Out, tell me a little bit
about your show cause it's new, right, Yeah, it's very new.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
It's like two months old. How you got your ship
offer like that, I honestly don't know. We do it
out of our bedroom. It's me and my girlfriend. I'm
from Texas, so I have a lot of gay closet
trauma and I just sit on my couch and get
drunk and.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Talk about you really got out of there right before
they really started fucking over all the laws. Let me
get my gut out of here. I'm deeply connected to
my guts. My goodness. Yeah, Texas is one of those
where I love.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
So I go to Dallas Everythanksgiving and as much as
I'm like, dang, I like the house to see I'm like,
but Texas is one of those states now, especially that
they just want to keep paying away all women's rights.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
But I just don't feel like makes sense. It doesn't.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Everybody's out. Yeah you you they say that but then
you get there and you're like and.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
You're like, still it's still racist. It's giving Florida two
point out.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yeah, we're in Texas room Dallas, Dallas. Oh yeah, I
lived in Dallas and it's I lived in the city.
But it's so pretentious.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
It's old money. Yeah, oh it is old Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
So it's definitely still giving that that feeling.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
And so made it out is about you coming out
of the closet as of your full blown lesbians.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Are you gold star? No, you've had dick before, not
even at all. That's how I know I'm gay. See.
I had a girlfriend for a few years and I
was like, right off, probably the eighth month of eating pussy,
I was like, we should have a Facebook.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Do you know how gay I am? I literally don't
even like the strap. Oh that's gay gay that was me.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
You're real good.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Oh you don't like penetration because it feels too much
like sex of men.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Oh you Oh, they hurt you. No, I'm gonna tell
you something though. Most women I know that are gay
gay don't like strapping either. Most women I know that
deuce strap are fucking someone that used to fuck men,
and they feel that it's something they're looking for.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
But that's how I know I'm really gay. I've only
been strapped by a woman, and I strapped men.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
But I have a woman.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's crazy. I've only been strapped by a woman. But
because I'm like, no, bitch, I need some penetration, right,
But I've said that too. I don't come with head,
I come with penetration, so I need the dick. So
for you, you came out with age fully twenty eight.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Oh you came out late. How do you know? I'm thirty.
I came out two years ago. How long had you
been gay? Because you came out at twenty eight? This
is funny? How long you being? How long have I've
been gay?

Speaker 3 (04:52):
I've known I was gay since like little really, likely
four or five years old. When you're playing house and
you're like, oh my god, that's when I like, I
mean hunt. We all hunt our friends.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Tell no, I don't. I don't think we do. You don't.
I think everyone has hunched their friends. You're gay. I
really can't ask Danny, but I think all women at
one point have hunched. They went from teddy bears to
their homegirls, and they didn't know what they were doing.
But everybody's like done dry hunk. I don't think that's
common for people that are straight, though, I think so.

(05:25):
I think we all do. We know anyone who we called?
But does it? That's not don't die bitch?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Everybody hunt each other because my homegirl that's not gay
now got three kids, and I hunched her.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
But she's straight. Well maybe that's the four. Maybe it's
like either. That's when you figure it out.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
When you a little girl, you figure out if you
like bitch. We almost got caught by our dad.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
She came in bitch. She was playing school and we
done rolled off the bed. Ah, we just playing in school?
What school? No?

Speaker 2 (05:58):
School is like when you got the teacher, the kid,
want somebody teaching the other lesson?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
But what oh yeah, why does advanced? We were like,
oh was it role playing too early? Yeah? I mean,
I'm just saying you look like a teacher now. And
I don't say we've done. We've done.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Like I used to draw home like boys too. We
did mother daughter and then someone.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Was the kid and the kid was the one we
ate want we would be in the closet because we're
the adults. We have our own room. Okay, I definitely
played House. We say not school House said. So, you
describe your podcast as wanting to push the gay agenda,
but what is it? What's the gay agenda? Do you
feel like there's too many maybe, uh, male driven gay

(06:43):
podcasts because I always feel like I'm seeing a lot
of gay podcasts for men, but maybe lesbians. I don't. Actually,
there's not We've had something, but not as much, not
as much.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
There is not enough lesbian content period, There's nothing. There's
the L word. There's a couple of lesbian podcasts, but yeah,
but like, what can you actually say?

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Because we love the gay they gave us makeup, you
know what I mean, Like we can't stop thinking about it.
But for lesbians, I feel like you're right, we're not
seeing enough because.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Lesbians, we don't want any more lesli content. It is
the shoes, I guess that's I mean, Okay.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
They gave about it. We do.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Gay men, yes, and not necessarily the lesbians, and oh
my god, is that the patriarchy?

Speaker 1 (07:32):
But keep going?

Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yes, I actually think so. I think that being a
lesbian is the ultimate rebellion. It's like, fuck men, I
don't want anything to do with you. I don't need you,
So why would the patriarchy want to put all women
content out there?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
You're right, Oh hmm.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
So it's like, let's make stuff that's only for women,
you know, women.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Who have women want I did want to ask you something.
How will you then open up? Will it forever will
only be lesbians? Will you let get a little queer?
We have some trans people on there, some non binary.
How do you envision it? Because when we first started, well,
trans women can be lesbian. No, I know, I'm just
saying trans people, like, do you think you'll just grow
into the umbrella of LGBTQ because our show has evolved

(08:14):
a lot over eight years. So I'm curious that you're
here and it is a black pot, But can I
learn about your shit? Man? He said? Yesterday we were
in a goddamn rob Someone sent us a whole mail
and the guy said, oh, my girl wants to take
me to Africa, but she's white, man, he said, be
out there building the village. Oh no, and am better?

(08:38):
So no, you're you're not the woman you were to yesterday. No,
but no, you really, like, what do you think this
spot is going to happen? Because can it really be
entirely lesbians. Are you going to try to honor that
or what have you envisioned for it?

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I think when we started it was it was a
ten episode series on coming out.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
That's all it was.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
Oh, it was going to be we had identified like
ten or twelve. Actually kind of very distinct steps in
the coming out process that a lot of us had experienced.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
What oh, God put me on the spot.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, maybe, just like religion, like dealing with religious struggles,
dealing with culture, the kind of am I by?

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Am I gay? Moment? Just these very.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Distinct steps of like you have never the process that
you go through.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Oh, I knew I was by How do you question that?
Like if you like Dick amplicy, you buy and not gay?
Oh you must have had it because you were with him.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
I yeah, I think I went through like a very
because I lived in Texas, it was very normal to
be married and have kids by twenty five, and so
I was very much on that track.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
I was like, I.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Had a house, cars, a bank account with a guy
like I was in it deep and then I found
out he had a kid. I didn't know about three
and a half years into the relationship.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Love a double life. We'll do even though see what,
he was a pilot, so it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Okay, it makes sense, but just like it makes sense
when you deal with the athlete or man with money,
of of course he's gonna cheat.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Okay, Yes, So I find out about this now I
have this like mental break and I'm like, wait, some
this is not working. I need to kind of reassess. Actually,
I had a breakdown in the Planet Hollywood in Vegas,
and I was like, okay, I'm leaving. I'm leaving Texas.
I quit my job, I got my packed up my
two dogs, and I moved to LA And you made
a podcast on a jump.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, men'll make you do talk a lot.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
So I do want to go back to that relationship
because I understand the trauma of feeling like you've been
lied to, betrayed, especially with someone that you're making plans with.
But were you actually enjoying the sex, like when you
were with this man? Was there more that you were like,
I'm not this doesn't like.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Did he really drive you to be gay? Because someone's
gonna watch this and be like, she's gonna change your mind? Right?

Speaker 3 (10:47):
No, I think god, I was just so shut off
to so many parts of me Back then, I was
working a corporate career, which I hated.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
I was dating a man exactly, which we hate.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
So it's just like, I think, once you shut yourself
off to one part of you, you just kind of
are a zombie and you're shutting yourself off to a
lot of different parts of you.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
I could see that.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
So yeah, So then when I kind of had like
a break moved to LA started, I switched my apps.
Clearly that was something that I was like heavily. I
hadn't consciously thought about. But if I'm switching my apps,
clearly I'm really being pulled to something. I switch my app,
I go on a date and now I'm like in
a full blown relationship during COVID with a woman, and

(11:32):
it's like this just complete switch. This was your first
time going on a date with the first date I
ever went on.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
I ended up being in a nine mon.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Were you were you exactly? What were you like? Who
pays for this? Were you confused? As someone who's never
dated a woman? How do you just go on an
app say I'm gonna try women?

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Now? How are you? If it was like riding a bike,
That's how she probably knew she's gonna keep going. I
was so confused.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
Okay, I'm like, I'm more of a stoner, mushroom type person.
But that night before that day, I went down the
street from my house, took four shots of vodka and
was like, okay, pick me up. But she was a
kind of masculine leaning girl, so I think it's like
she's gonna lead you kind of are attracted to that
patriarchy you no, no, no, but don't really easy switched

(12:17):
an interest point. Yeah, You're like, Okay, at least there's
probably gonna be some gender role like normativity there.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
And there was. And she really took.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Control in my first relationship in a lot of different
ways and kind of taught me the ropes a little bit.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Did she ever make you feel kind of shitty about
the fact that she was your first? Really? They say
that lesbians do that more than any person in the
queer community, and it's because I guess maybe as women,
we feel so like left out of it, and so
they're just kind of like, damn you. I don't know,
but I.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Actually wonder if from experience it was because she was
more masculine presenting and your last relationship was just with
a man. Because I remember when I got to New York,
there was like this girl used like but she used
to bring me to all the lesbian parties, and not
only did they all fight, but I was interested in
quite a few of the SuDS, And as soon as
they found out that I was by, they wanted nothing

(13:14):
to do with me, because it's like they feel like, well, innately,
they don't want to feel like they're competing with men
because they're masculine.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
They don't want that. They just want lesbians.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
So I've only been with really fem girls because I'm
by and will need dick and won't it and do
and they're like, they literally not wanted anything to do
with me because of my bisexuality. So I wonder if
that was that insecurity her thinking that maybe she was
just a phase.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yes, you know, I think that is definitely a thing.
Unfortunately in the lesbian community. I think people are hurt
because there is by women who are maybe like in
that struggle yep. And so a lot of the times
when you're newer, you're kind of discounted and it's kind
of like, no, I didn't really want it.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
They really don't like vibes.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Not all of us but yeah, it is a thing, unfortunately,
and I don't really know why.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
How do you feel about it now? When you what
you said you have a girlfriend? Or did you meet
me and my girlfriend? I'm in a relationship now, yes,
of course you are. The next day you're on but no,
like so you probably had met it by a girl
after that, and like, did you then feel the insecurity
that your ex girlfriend had m or you got a type?
I did see your girlfriend. I definitely have the type

(14:29):
I dated.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
I did try to date a few different types though,
and I was because when you're new to dating women,
I wanted to make sure I wasn't just like going
to what felt normal.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Can we get into the type? We are saying names.
She has said a few, and I'm like, I think
we got to bleep it out. I think it's a slur.
I don't think dyke is a slur. I think we're
just I don't think we're supposed to say it.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah, I think likedke is okay if I say it, because.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
I'm you're not lesbian. That's why I said, even though
you eatuci, you can't say it unless you That's why
I said, we can't say, oh, I'm saying, but because
the busch bitch that this is another one.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
I don't know if that one's okay, not because I've
said that, But then I'll get like my emails will
blow up saying I'm not supposed to say certainly I know.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
You're not, but well, I don't know, but your fem
and then there's lipstick f what are all these wait?
What are the sun for black girls? Is?

Speaker 3 (15:16):
Well, butch is for white girls. From from what I understand, yes, yes,
oh so.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
That's why nobody says nothing to me when I said that,
butch bitch, oh, because you were talking about a white woman.
And then most of our fathers were like, okay, okay,
but instead we use that real loosely. But the D
word again, I know we have. That's the only one
that's like why is that? Do you know? You know why?
She's only two years into lesbian Yeah, I very asking

(15:42):
her the history and lesbianism, and she's like, I just
got here, bitch, I don't know one who look altte.
She don't like to play baseball.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
My girlfriend no, so my girlfriend would be like what's considered?

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Actually the word is so terrible. It's fun because it's
like fem and but you know we say theem yes,
oh yes.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Okay, god, she would be concerned. I didn't know she
was because she's prettier.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yes, but is that.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
That's probably not It's like she's like, like she dresses
a little bit more feminine.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
We're not just androgynous. No, no, So I'm gonna get
canceled after this. I don't think I'm doing the lesbian
community just here. You don't get so like. No, I
saw that your girlfriend had the reason. I could see
why you would have said, but what else say the stem?

(16:36):
So I was making the joke about baseball or whatever
it was, literally because I saw her wear a hat
and a tea and you were wearing something more girly.
But when you said that is now I'm like, oh,
she had longer hair and I have to solved her
face and maybe more conventionally attractive for a woman. That's
where I was seeing that. However, what I would like
to know is have you ever told someone that you

(16:58):
like more masculining women and maybe they got offended or
maybe we're like, well that's not me. Did you experience
that with your current girlfriend? Hmmm? Or maybe are there
areas where you're finding the dynamic, like needing to find
a top and bottom, Like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Huh, the top and bottom thing is interesting. I don't
know that that's something anymore. I feel like that's very Yeah,
I really feel like that. I mean, I definitely think
there's like a more like dominant presence usually, but I
feel like that I'm that in my.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Relationship, which you wouldn't really expect.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
You would expect my girlfriend, who is like a little
bit more of the masculining one, to be more of
that like top presence.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
So it's crazy that this can be such a just
regular conversation and talking about mask presenting them presenting in
terms of lesbianism, because this is actually how I'd be
trying to explain why I don't want my man to
have nail polish. I want my woman to have an
apolished So there are things that we consider it to
be masculine and feminine, not gay or strength. By the way,

(18:00):
the masculine you mentioned dominant, and we're using the red mask.
When I was on ecstasy, it was once I like
a story that starts like that, right, So like basically
we were like talking with these people, didn't know we
were high and one of the guys said to me, like,
ain't it funny how all lesbians got to have one
that's more mainly and one that's more girl girly, And

(18:22):
literally this thing unlocked in my brain that I was like,
all of my friendships have a more dominant person. One
of us is making the calls, the rest of the
ONEm is one of the one is probably the one
who's a little more extroverted in the other one is.
It's there's always kind of this juxtaposition which within people,
and I actually think all relationships, colleagues, platonic, friendships, romantic

(18:42):
always kind of have that. I think that we pushed
that shit on lesbians to make them feel bad, but
I actually really believe every dynamic kind of has it.
Even my business partner and I we're verse. There's times
where he's kind of more dominant in work, and I
am like, so, I think we've got to really let
lesbians kind of have that one because there's so many
times where me and Mandy and I have made jokes

(19:04):
when we were doing the couple's game where we're like, Okay,
who's the top and who's the bottom because we don't
want to say who's the man or woman. But I
realize now it's like, oh damn, that must maybe someone
the same thing. Yeah, it really is. It's Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
I almost hate to even use the gender terms because
it's just like balance.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
That's what topper bottom was mine. But dominant is a
better way.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Dominant submissive, Yeah, like just the opposites. Yes, but there
are also a lot of lesbians that like them, girls
date each other.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
Yes, That's why I say I hate to use like
the mask or same gender thing because it's like.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
That's not the way can be together. I was everybody
made us feel like shit. People would act like we
were doing porn. People made me feel so bad. She
got really upset one night. I remember we were in
Paris together. This guy was like making us kiss because
he didn't thought we were lying.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, that's been the thing. Oh, I'm so. I don't
think that happens as much anymore. But I remember growing
up when I would be out with my homegirls, the
way to get a man away is we'd be like,
well my girlfriend and the man would definitely probably nine
times out of ten, respond will kiss and prove it.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Yeah, wait, are you do you still get that? I
get No, you're not, No, you're not. I used to
work in the club, and so then when I would
tell people I was lesbian, the guys are like, no,
they were too pretty to be a lesbian.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
That's the yeah, oh yeah, Danny. Have you ever had
two girls tell you they were together when you tried
to hit on a woman? Yeah, it just happened to
all of us. I feel like you feel ugly when
it happened. Yeah, you do. No, wait, wait, I believe them.
I believe them. Sure, I mean yeah. It depends on

(20:52):
the setting. Like if it's like you feel like she's
giving someone else motion and you just I'm not getting
the motion, then I am. I might be ugly, but
if it's what are shorty than you is, probably doesn't
happen often though, He's like, let me be nice. He said,
it don't happen off, but he said, it's happened in
my lifetime. That's all. We want to do our Vanella

(21:14):
shit with you, which is our news segment. And I
was like, let me find a gay one, but this
one was actually real good. She did. So. This is
a BuzzFeed article that came out last year December eleventh,
twenty twenty three, and it says, I just found out
that lesbians tend to make more money than straight women,
and the reasons why makes sense? Have you heard this?

Speaker 3 (21:32):
No, but this does make sense. Bring us up on
a little gay podcast.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, you're right. Did you know the lesbians sid to
make more money? And the phenomenon is known as lesbian
wage premium. And so recently a woman did a deep dive.
Her name is Aria of the less on why and
so it says for years, social scientists have been observing
that lesbians are making more money than straightmen. How so,
there was thirty international studies and gay women are earning

(21:58):
ten percent more even depends on it doesn't matter the country.
And so here are some of the reasons why. Here
are the obvious. I want to know what you think
the obvious reasons? Oh, I would say they spend less
money on it. They nails because these acrylics is once said,
what they got to do with make him work? They
have more up, They're earning more mandia jobs. Oh oh

(22:21):
you know, why can we ask the lesbian please thank you?
I'm so curious to go. I was just saying to nails,
that's all I got, go go, go shut.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
I think it's because we aren't so focused on the
heteronormative lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
What do you mean by that?

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Marrying a man, having kids, settling down, And we're like,
it's almost like this, we can focus on other things
because we're not so focused on locking a man down
to get married. Generalized speaking, every man or every woman
does will make you.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Poor because the obvious reason they are less likely to
have children. Oh, this one's interesting. Lesbians living were predominantly
more in cities, which probably means that they're moving to
cities because they're more liberals just like you, which means
that they're paying more. And it says lesbians tend to
be more educated than straightmmen, which that I didn't know,

(23:19):
but probably because they're going to school and they're not
focusing on these niggers. Okay now, because the fuck you
up it, especially if you were in college. You remember
that fucking man, you get pregnant, you can't finish college
when you got pregnant. A handicapped girl and she said
she almost had a chance to walk again, but she
was fucking honest, dude, and she was so worried about dick.

(23:40):
She missed the appointment. That was like physical therapy. We
gotta have a friendly back on. She's hilarious. She's on
a podcast called Watching the Throne. They're hold you, I'm
gonna hold you.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
We seeing these girls tatam Man's face on their cheek
and ass, I don't want I might end up being
a guess on your pos soon.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
The way, I don't want these problems with these men.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
It's that making bitches stupid out here, Like the dick
is literally fucking with they brain YEP, I don't want it.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I don't want By the way, Friend, she was a
teenager when she said that, Like she was a teenager
when she got shot. So it's like, you know, you're
a kid, you're looking around, but like, because I know,
I think like as an adult, maybe you're taking your
health more serious. But I love how much she laughed
about it with us. We were like, no, really, dick
got you any gap. But in lesbian couple's household, labor

(24:29):
tends to be more equally divided, so neither partner is
sacrificing work. Ah, that means you're not so worried about
going home and fucking cooking dinner because you know your
girl gonna do the other half. That you're gonna get
that ot.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
You gonna get that time and a half cause you
like bitch, you gotta run home and cook she got.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
I gotta go do the laundry and clean the house.
She got. Both lesbian partners contributed more equally, meaning that
lesbians do not face trade offs on needing to focus
on family or the pressures. And interestingly, when you look
at wages with lesbians who have lived with the previous
male spouse and lesbians who have never lived with a
male spouts, yes, that's the true many baby bro. The

(25:11):
lesson is here that lesbians are not better at making money.
It just reconfirms that domestic labor situations at home contribute
to how women earn less outside. That was the fun,
which does make sense. I mean, and you have to
consider too. I think kids is probably the biggest one. Like,
there's certain shifts you can't take at jobs. If you

(25:33):
are the primary provider for your child, you have to
pick them up from school, you have to drop them off,
or you then have to consider, dang, it's gonna cost
me this much in daycare and babysitting. Yeah. So there's
even certain career paths and jobs that hetero women cannot
take if they want to be mothers or why you know,
we were just talking about this.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
It's also that science is going to be involved regardless, Yeah,
when we have kids, so the process can be delayed.
It doesn't feel as like, you know, stressed or tight,
because it's like we can have kids at thirty eight, or.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
You freeze your eggs or you're talking yeah yeah, adoption
or well yeah, so many different yes, And it's like
already things that you're getting your brain around, because when
you are a lesbian, you're already thinking in that way
versus like, I really do think I have straight girlfriends
who are so stressed on these apps because they're aging out.
They're aging out, yeah, and like men won't.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Now they're competing with like you know, men probably have
a high age range on their apps twenty five to whatever,
one to whatever. You so now you're competing with those
girls and you're older, and then I feel like men
think like that, Oh no, they a you're timed out
or you're aging out.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Oh they think like that.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
They literally, okay, they literally are like your value decreases as.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
You age in being a woman.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Like and let's be very clear, we've talked about it
as well, like men don't really care about the successes
or how much money you make or where you are
in your career. They're looking at how can you support them?
How can you show up as a wife, How can
you nurture our children? How can you take care of
this house? Listen to it every time I think free time,
and I think a lot of women right now we
are because if we don't work, we don't pay our bills.

(27:14):
Because these these motherfuckers ain't really paying our bills or
making enough money to really provide like they should. And
so we're getting into these positions where we're really proud
of the things that we're doing and not willing to
stop doing it to be a fucking arm candid housewife.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
What do you think that you've taught your friends since
being gay that you maybe didn't No, No, sorry, being out,
it's just being out, that's tie being out. It's being
out as a lesbian that you hadn't really noticed before.
Like have you seen some stuff in maybe even yourself
from before where you were like, damn, I was tripping,
Like I shouldn't have been so obsessed with I don't

(27:49):
know whether it be marriage or status or you know,
having the cars in house, Like have you been able
to put that a.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
Completely different person? Like one eighty one hundred percent. I
could not be more different than I was when I
was straight.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
I mean, like I said, I was fully in a marriage.
I essentially had a divorce with a man, and like
my focus was, Yeah, I'm going to have this like
little nine to five career. I'm going to try to
make you know, one hundred thousand dollars a year. Like
I was very okay with whatever my life was going
to be because it was a man was going to
come along, we were going to have a baby, We're

(28:22):
going to have the white picket fence, whatever, and that
was it. I was so in that mindset. And then
when I came to La it was like I came out.
That was the first thing that kind of awoke everything.
It was switching my app dating a woman, and then
it was like fuck everything. I got laid off from
my job or my coverorate job. I was like, I'll
never do it again. I went back to bottle service
after I hadn't been in the clubs for a long time,

(28:44):
and at twenty twenty six, twenty seven, I'm back in
a club because I'm like, I will I won't do it.
I will not go back to So it was like
this shift in, Okay, if I'm going to disappoint society
in this way, then I might as well do whatever
the fuck I want to do. Because you felt like
you were disappointing society by going back into the clubs. No,

(29:04):
but well kind of, but really by being gay is
more so what I meant, Like, I'm already not what
everybody says I should be.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
So I'm not going to work the job.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
I'm just going to go back and do what takes
the least amount of time and makes and make the
money and free up my mind to do other things.
And like I truly can say, that's why I have
the podcast because my girlfriend found me looking for She
found me on TikTok casting, a lesbian reality TV show.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
She created, a show, found me.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Literally, I said, the minute I blocked my ex girlfriend's number,
my whole life is going to change.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
I blocked my ex girlfriend. Ummer keep talking, people need
to hear this. Yes, it's an energy thing.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
The minute I close this energetic door on this toxic
first girlfriend that I had, the one that was you know,
whatever I am going at my whole life. I'm going
to get every single thing that I want to get.
And three days after I blocked her number, my girlfriend
messaged me, do you have any any interest in being
on reality TV? And we did this whole thing. It
was a pilot that got shot, it didn't get green lit.

(30:08):
But because that didn't get green lit, I started We
started the podcast together. Wow, let's try to do some
sort of version of that type of representation.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Danny put the camera on you. You were Patty. You
are Patty talking to but today let him go keep going.
Sorry truly him or her? Honestly that men are worse.
But anyway, so okay, you block that happens. I'm curious.

(30:41):
Did you ever have a moment where you were like, oh,
I'm jumping from relationship to relationship? Yes, when I was well,
and is it okay? It is rebounding? Okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
To be fair, my girlfriend and I broke up and
then we were very lesbian on and off for like.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well, that's heterod two girl, and did just let the
girl I had our own community be on and off
a little bit? Good? Pussy's good? Did goodn makes good? Pussy?

Speaker 3 (31:10):
God it's so different with women. It's so much more
of an emotional thing. We are so criers, keep going.
But that's what I love about it. I don't know,
I'm such a lesbian in that way, me and my shoes.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
That I couldn't do it. That's why I don't like
I'll be like I just have sex with women. I
couldn't be with them and they're too it's too emotional
for me, too needy.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Like yeah, I don't like, that's not so interesting. That's
not what I can't that's giving avoid it. No, I
can't be that for I can't be that for somebody.
I have a lot that I that I'm personally working on.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
I also like to just sometimes have my my space
and like women be liking to be up under motherfuckers,
they just do like I think that even my see.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
I like, I like to have sex with you. Like
I just met over over the holiday break.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
I met this girl at a homeboy's house and immediately
we like.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Connected and it was cool. I was like, you know,
it's like connect No, it was like, I'm like, I
could probably fuck her, like if we hang out a
couple more times, and so we exchanged numbers but immediately
she was like, let me know when you make home,
I'm gonna come over tomorrow and cook you breakfast. Oh
my god, I leave before. Oh oh my god, that
happened to me too in Paris.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Offered to like, cook me breakfast the next day I
leave out of town. But then when I come back,
I want to take you here. I have this party
keep and she started sending me all these finds and
I was like, girl, first off, I'm good, I don't
need breakfast.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
I'm not hungry. I have busy things going on.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
I said, well, we'll run into each other, but it
immediately was like I had to push her away because
it was too much. And I think, like, that's what
a lot of and do women also be playing. I
shared another story where me and my homegirl. She came over,
laid in my bed as naked and literally didn't want
to fuck because she wanted me to take her to
the movies first. Bitch, we don't put your clothes on,

(33:12):
get out, Like I was so upset because I noticed
how bitches be playing with niggas too, like, oh my god,
but you have to take me to the movies first.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
When are we gonna go on a date. You are
in my bed naked, bitch, put some clothes on if
we ain't gonna fuck right now. I was so annoyed
that she even played with me like that, Like the
mental gymnastics of women to me is too draining. No,
so okay, you hauling is a real thing. What is
it called you hauling when they move in? Yes? Okay,

(33:41):
not what Kingwoods did when he sucked that night.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
And the.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Friend of the show. You hauling is where women will
try to move in.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
That's like the the stigma it is.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
It is.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
It's a thing I think as women we connect on
a deeper level.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
I know right away. Is this going to go somewhere?
Is it's not going to go somewhere. So then you're like, okay,
well it's expensive.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
We're in La. Let's not pay two rents. Let's just
you know, it's just okay. But I think that I
lost where I was going with that thought. But yes,
do you do two bedrooms when you move in with
a girl? No, you sleep in the same room. Yes,
but not okay, that's where I.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Was Wait, not all friends, no, I mean, but this
one thing.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
And we had the conversation about the separate bedrooms, if
I even move in with a man like my ex.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
I was talking about it. We were like, well, we need
a two bedroom and you can have some of this.
Oh yeah, like me, if.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
I think about moving in with a person right now,
it's not to say we got to get another bedroom
because there's two of us.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Talking about if I'm mad at you, we're gonna have
a little guest bed that you can sleep in. I
can't imagine living with someone right now with one bedroom. Yeah.
I just stayed in a loft apartment in Mexico for
a week with the dude dated and I was like,
oh my god, Oh no, that's a real thing. Do

(35:07):
you think with your partners?

Speaker 3 (35:10):
Yeah, yeah, it's I mean, yeah, it's pretty enmeshed. I
will say that, like, I think good relationships have healthy boundaries.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Oh yes, we very much. Like yeah, yeah we do.
But I think we're kind of it's a healthier relationship.
But now you're working together.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
Yeah, I mean it's a lot. Yeah, Oh what should
be fighting about? I think we're very No, I don't
think that's true.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
I really don't. I think it's so.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Much easier to communicate with a woman. It's like, we
get it we're both in therapy, we're both healing. It's like, okay,
I here's why I did what I did. Here's why
you did what you did. And it's like I hear you.
I hear you, and then it's you actually see change.
Like it's different than communicating with a man. I never
got there with a man. Yeah, it's a it's it's difficult,

(36:01):
and with a woman, it's like it's a back and forth.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
We get it.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
But my girlfriend and I are so different. I'm like
the dreamer, let's do more. I want more, don't cap us.
She's very like, let's focus on today right now and
the process.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
And you know, she's what you're doing. She's a Taurus.
We've got to star this thing. Okay. I date a
lot of tourists. My ex girlfriend is a tourist too.
I'm dating a tourist man right now. Okay, they're great.
I love a tourist. I need a tourist. You need
a person, and they happen to have a birthday where
on the calendar. Until you find a meme that you like,
Oh the me, listen, it's a meme.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I don't live my lie by memes. I'll repost the
meme real quick and yes I'm a libra and if
it's says so I'm cute, I would just post that thing.
But I don't start the moves. Shit, Okay, take what
we like.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
So in your new relationship, are there any traumas you've
brought from your past? Because I know when I'm dating men,
I'm kind of bringing a lot of my old insecurities up.
Like as you lying is you're doing this at he's scheming.
What about you, Like, have you done that? Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
I think yeah, a lot of family of origin. I'm
like the oldest, so there's a lot that comes with that.
My brother's a professional baseball player and the baby and
the only boy of the family, so there was like
a lot of you know, attention there. I think there's
like some abandonment. You know, we all have some problem.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
I don't know, no, no, I mean from like literally
the last X that you just said on.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
The last X hmmm, Yeah, I think she really made
me feel bad about where I fit in within the
community and like, my nobody's ever gonna want to be
with you because you came out so late, you don't
know what you're doing. That type of thing. She also

(37:40):
was like really shed kind of flight, put me down.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Like you don't say, like what like fucking huh? She
would say, like you didn't know what you were doing
and what realm?

Speaker 3 (37:48):
I think all like sex with sex ist sex is
scary when you haven't had sex with women, but it's
something that you've wanted your whole life and you've only
had sex with men and then you switch. The first
time I with the girl, I did not move my
hands literally stayed glued to my side.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
I was terrified that kind of sex.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Did you have everything? No, Like she went down on me,
fingered me, gave me head. It was the full thing,
and I just did you scissor not that time? Not
first time?

Speaker 1 (38:17):
When it was happening, did you know that you wanted more?
Or did you feel like, oh, I don't know how
to reciprocate. I didn't know how to reciprocate. That's exactly
how I felt. There's even moments where if it's been
too long, I feel the exact same way. I'm like, damn,
I've been sucking shit.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Like well, the thing is is yes, but also every
girl is different.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Is the hardest thing.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I've ever done in my life and is yeah, because
like I actually like fingers inside me, but again I
like penetration too. There's a lot of women that you
have to ask for us, like some women don't want
fingers in them at all.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Like I don't like you looking too hard, so I
don't like fucking you. Just had a guest on a
few months ago, Christina, who talked about the teeth like
yo teeth teeth. She said it felt like her laby
was getting stuck in the teeth. No, I don't like that. Yeah,
you know like I mean.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
And again there's still we also know that women don't
often tell their partner when something doesn't feel good.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
We do that with men.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
So I think that it becomes we're trying to teach
each other what feels good when we have also innately
not really grew up being able to tell people what
we like, what we don't like, exploring our bodies really late, and.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
That's what a lot of us are put up Bread Brendon,
y'all make sure you get your tickets now. May fifth,
we are at the Earth Theater in London's and we
made this a specific request to be in London on
the weekend, so that are all of our euro people

(39:50):
can come and see this. We want our whole euro people,
Europe and Europe pull whatever, all the black people that
live over there. Just take that another fucking year star
and come and see us. We're gonna be there. May fifth,
we are having a whole new show, one that you
didn't see. This is a part of the Climax tour.
So even if you were on the Climax Tour and
you need a little trip, it's gonna be warmer, it's
gonna be fun. Come through and see as That's right,

(40:12):
make sure you head on over to hohre hive dot
com and get your tickets. Now, this is a really
good moment. We have a Horror Durve segment where we
asked for a sex tip and I don't know if
I've ever asked for this, and I feel like this
is a really simple things to say. But I dated
a girl for a few years on this pod. So
during that time, and you remember, oh, fans were disrespectful.
It was crazy, like that was probably the most I'd

(40:34):
ever felt violated, always touched by women. They were just
doing a lot. But I think girls were just fantasizing
more because they got to hear lesbian stories more than
hetero ones at the time. However, a lot of the
questions were want to be with a girl? How do
I do it? How do I do it? Where do
I start? I really want to talk about that, like
first time lesbian sex, how could we be decent at it?

(40:58):
Like let's talk to someone that's never done it.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
I think literally every time I'm asked this, because on
my podcast, this is probably the number one question that
we get.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
It's my first time, and how do I do it?

Speaker 3 (41:13):
And the answer is it's gonna be so embarrassing and
so fucking awkward, and like it.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
That just is what it is.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Like, I don't think there's any practical advice that you
can give for with a man.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
There is because your open legs are open. That's it. Yes,
that's do you like? What about for touching? Like do
you recommend that someone says it's their first time? Do
you recommend that they're trying oral? Like where can they practice?
Like we gotta give these bits a sum it.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
Okay, okay, I think going back to what you were saying,
how we weren't we aren't taught to communicate?

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Lesbian sex is so communicative. Oh, that's normal to talk.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
It's normal to say do this, do that, I like this,
and I know that doesn't feel very normal, but like,
get feedback in a lesbian relationship is so important because
if you don't help me get there, I'm never gonna
get there. Like it's gonna take me six months to
do what I could do in six minutes if you
just talk to me, you know. So, I think that's
like the number one actual practical tip other than that,

(42:11):
find the fucking clip.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
I just bringing in toys also, like could help. Maybe
that's a little too much in the beginning. I feel
the opposite. I think toys take it away from being
all on you. Yes, it could be easier in that way,
would be easier, yes, like if it's a lesbian like
lesbian sex to me. And again, I wouldn't just start
pulling out toys the first time. I always say, talk

(42:34):
about toys first. I love talk about toys first. Well,
we're gonna play with let's go together and buy them.
But I think that would is what would take.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
The pressure off of the first time with a lesbian
is actually having toys there. Yeah, And it takes the
pressure off of you actually having to do all the
things and now you're just using the toys, so now
my hands can be free. Sometimes my hands begining tired
or to motherfucking wand it's like it's just too much.
So to have somebody like that was one of the
things I used to love about sex with my ex.

(43:00):
We brought in so many toys. It felt great sometimes
for someone to use toys on me. Yes, so to me,
that would that would be maybe my tip if someone scared, like,
maybe just play with toys first.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
One of your favorite toys to use in your relationship.
I love a vibrator. I'm one of the people that
I can't really come from penetration. It's like not I think,
like I was saying before, I've got weird trauma around it.
I don't love it unless there's like a shit ton
of intimacy. There has to be a lot built up first, right,
and then it's like, okay, we can introduce a toy.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
It makes sense why men doesn't work for you.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Yes, So I'm very very like clit stimulation and any vibrator.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
I'm I told someone recently on an interview that I
did when they were sorry. It wasn't recently, it was old,
but I remember they were like talking about things to
do for your first time, and I was like, yo,
I think thinking of masturbating together and with each other
is maybe the easiest way to talk about being gay
for the first time, particularly because like I was, I

(43:58):
remember rubbing my clip on a lot of her body
and fingering myself but then heard fingering me showing her
what to do a lot of kissing, but like touching
each other. And it was tough because you feel like
you're going to be so bad, and we know how
bad our experiences with men have been if they're too rough,
so you want to be super gentle, but then not
gentle enough to where you seem like you don't know

(44:18):
what you're doing. It's a lot of pressure. And I
wanted to ask the questions about four girls that are
wanting to have their first experience with a woman. You
mentioned apps tell us some of those if you'd recommend that,
or maybe just the lesbian night at a gay club.
What do you think?

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I so I was on hinge and that's why no, Okay,
go ahead and show your experience. Well, I was on
a hinge, I swiped, I went on a date, and
then I got into a relationship.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
If you went there very long. Congratulations done and then yeah,
I mean after that Hinge. No, they're a hinge. Oh
why not her? Because the ones I don't know about that.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
I don't think they're just like not the best. I
would say.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
She said, you go swipe love a lot? What about mumble?
Did you use bumble? No? I think I feel like
Hinge is the one. You know, you know why I belove.
That's when I was on. So when I when I
got on there, I actually had to take so I
went on there it says bisexual, so I'm interested in

(45:25):
men and women, Babe.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
I had to take the women off. It was too
much of the way, too many women. They were all
very good looking. I was like, oh, no, this is
this is at this point a bit uncomfortable, Like, uh,
there is too much.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
There were too many women. I felt like it was
too much to choose from.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Yeah, and I clearly was like, I really don't want
to have to take y'all on dates.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
I really just want to fuck. So I said, let
me get the fuck, let me get women off of this.
I'm beloved. How did you know what your girl type was?
Because you said you've known you were gay for a
long time. How did you know and what were those feelings? Like?

Speaker 3 (45:56):
Oh, you actually, So I had this friend when I
was little that was like we were like three and
four years old, and we used to play house and
we used to kiss.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Exactly, and I think her and then.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
My first nanny her name, She looks exactly like my girlfriend.
They both have like really simply all like my first friend,
and my nanny has very tea here characteristics, and they
both look like my girlfriend. The nanny is my girlfriend.
I swear, I'll have to show you guys picture now.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
There may have been some subconscious to where you were
attracted to these people when you were younger, but you
were fighting it.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
So I kind of think so because I have a
memory also where I asked my nanny what sex was
she like, I didn't ask my parents, but I had
heard about sex and I asked my nanny. So I
don't know if there's some sort of like weird logical
correlation or something.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
I don't know. Nanny, And how did your parents take
you coming out, especially being from Texas like that.

Speaker 3 (46:52):
Were from Chicago originally, Okay, we moved to Texas when
I was like eight, So my parents are super progressive.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
I think you're going through a face.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
I think they were shocked, but no, because I'm pretty like,
you know, I was like, no, I've gotten here, I'm there, like,
so I think they were.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
I don't think it was that. Do you feel like
there was something? Did you have a coming out post online?
I've seen two of them, and one of them I
was like, hey, you only just came out two years ago.
And two years ago was when Starbucks had all the
rainbows was everywhere, baby, it was the time Republicans were
you know what, I'm not having it. It was the wild.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
So like two years ago, we're in the middle of
a pandemic. It's everyone's online.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
Did you tell the world online at all? You did? You? Guys? This?

Speaker 3 (47:41):
I used to have quadruple deep boobs, so like part
of my straight life was like massive fucking tips. So
it's me and this tank top with a roller in
my hair, smoking a joint, coming through these doors.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Video youted a whole coming well. It was kind of
like I was doing.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
A like a gender reveal, but my kind of yeah,
And I said, I think I said, like in case
you ever heard, because it was the post is like me.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
Coming out the closet.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yeah, at third or at twenty eight or something basically older,
and yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
It's so excessive. It's like, why did I do that?
You still you archived it? Huh? You got it up still? Yeah?
Oh no, we're gonna of course social media. I might
about to go round like what I mean?

Speaker 2 (48:28):
So, but was that a conversation with any of the
other lesbian friends that you may have had, or you know,
even family members. Was there a conversation about coming out,
like and what that announcement had to look like or
how you would tell the world.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
I think, yeah, I mean I had to come out
because it was not like you had to. Yeah, I
for my family kind of yeah, because I had lived
such a different life and I had dated so many
men and been in like serious relationships with men. So
I did feel like, Okay, I have to say something,
you know. And I think I was so purbl in
it by the time I came out.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
The only one.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I called my mom in a panic during the you know, pandemic,
and I was like, oh my god, I'm in a
full blown relationship with a woman, just bawling. I didn't
know what was going on, but I waited to tell
everybody else, like to tell my family. And I think
by the time I told the rest of my family,
I was so secure in myself and like this is
who I am, and I had already gone through the
am I bye and all of that stuff, the religious stuff,

(49:24):
that I came to a point where I was like
I was ready to answer questions.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
Do you have Kinsley scale moments where you're like, you said,
am I bye? But and then moments where you're seeing
men and maybe you get a little tangli in that
blissing or are you just looking at them in a
different way, like he's handsome, but I don't want.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Yeah, it's kind of funny because I live life in extremes,
like I've been a stripper and I also worked in
corporate America and I've dated men, and I'm all, so
I think I work in that way. I'm really quick
to like make a jump to something.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
I wish I could see the stripper and you I
don't see it. Maybe it's the pants not with these shoes,
but I'll see it, shrimp, I go, very beautiful. We
need to put the shoes in it, because there I'm
standing by these shoes I'm wearing them every day. Now
we're gonna come to your first live show and bring

(50:16):
them and I don't wear these shoes for you guys. Well,
what advice would you give to any any woman listening
that bill as though they are lesbian and they want,
like they're considering coming out, Like what battles and what
things should they focus on before coming out to the world.

(50:37):
I think the only not the only.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
There's definitely like worldly in societal and cultural battles, But
I think the most important part is getting really clear
within yourself and like accepting it within yourself, because if
you don't feel that way within you, you're not going
to be able to fight the rest of the world,
you know, and to to to stand firm and be

(51:01):
okay with that.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Can I ask you, well, outside of your own community,
it seems like we there's a lot of bickering within
the own you know, the LGBTQ community, But as a lesbian,
I don't know. I feel like gay men, I definitely
see society's pressures. What are the societal pressures on lesbians?

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Like you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (51:20):
Like, I think we're heavily sexualized. It's there, We're not
really taken serious. I think it's kind of it's more
of a.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Yeah, okay, you're gay. Yeah okay, yeah, you're playing which
on the up with the opposite end with men, it's
like shameful, like you know, if you suck a dick,
you're out. Yes, it's interesting, okay, So they just don't
believe that. They actually believe that you want to take dick.
You just don't right now totally.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
I mean I think that or it's like somebody hurt you,
you just need the right guy, or you just That's
what I was going to say about your story.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
I know somebody's feeling like that because that is super tramatic.
But I think that we do need to end a
certain relationship sometimes to like explore and sometimes we're in
the right relationship, but the relationship we think that is
right for us to know that I'm with a guy
who's you know, doing well and like a pilot is
such an amazing job, and like it seems like the

(52:17):
perfect family life. One thing I wanted to talk to
you actually about before we wrap was what does lesbian
conversations surrounding family planning look like? And how soon it's
too soon? And yeah, how have you felt about it,
and how y'all start saving because that shit is, you
know it is.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
I think my girlfriend and I are actually like already
in talks. We're not engaged yet, but it's a long
there together two years so it's getting there. And then
but you kind of have to think about these things
because it's like we're not ready now, we probably won't
be ready for four or five years. And we got
to freeze the eggs because we're in our thirties, you know,
So that's it right there.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
I was just gonna say to you, if you don't
have them early, I feel like I had one on
a few dates with a girl that was like, no way,
I'm only adopting Oh really, And I was like, well
that's no. She was saying, I'm not trying to do
all this scientific shit, like look at all these kids
in the world, and I was like, damn, I didn't
feel like being gay was gonna mean I couldn't have
my own kids. And we were like on two different
playing fields.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
So now you know why U haul happens because you
are having these conversations.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
There's not a lot of like commitment things, I think
with women because we have relationships so bitch, we go together. See,
it's too much, there's too much pressure. I listen. I'm
not always I might not always, but I've felt it. Yeah,
and it's like it's just different issues.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
I think, Yeah, you know, and you're having these conversations
really early, so I don't and it's normal. It's like
I think on the outside, it's probably like whoa, you
guys are talking about that for a second third date.
But it's like we ought to know why we're not
going to get all the way down the road. And
now I find out that you don't really want kids
or you don't really this isn't the life you foresee it,
which is a lot more normal in a community that's
a lot more open and not so heteronormative. It's like

(53:59):
these why do you think? Open relationships and you know,
threesomes and like all of that stuff is so much
more normal because you're already breaking the norm.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Like tell me though, when it comes to freezing as
there's so many ways to have a kid with a woman, right,
maybe surrogate, maybe you're carrying your own baby. What about
the sperm? Which have you guys talked about?

Speaker 3 (54:18):
So we actually have a sperm donor, how'd you pick it?
He is like, he's our best friend.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Oh yeah, he want him around? Okay, yeah, we want
him around.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
I think I think he Yeah, he's a he's a
really good friend of ours. He's absolutely beautiful. He's a
gay man. Yes, oh he owns a design interior design,
successful business. And we're like, it's just the best, you know.
And so he is like actively like, yes, please let me.
And so whose.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
Eggs do you like? Do you fight over that?

Speaker 3 (54:48):
I'm going to carry hers and she's going to carry mine? Okay,
so you all want to hear something crazy. My girlfriend's
fucking insane and she wants to have kids at the
same time.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
She wants you got to be predy together. That sounds
like a TLC show. Maybe I need dat. I actually
that's my dream scenario.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
And she wants she wants me to carry twins, such
three babies out.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I know, I don't feel like I can understand this,
which I also can get why you totally don't you
like we gotta lean on each other. But for me,
I think pregnancy is such a crazy experience. I've never
been pregnant. Well, sorry, Mitch, you never went through with
a full pregnancy. You never gay birse, I don't live

(55:35):
in Texas. Let's just say that. Okay. By point, even
when you do pregnant, I've been out on the paper pregnant, Okay.
So I feel like there's a lot that you could
feel left out on through a lesbian pregnancy experience. So
I think to have it together must feel so special
because one person is getting all the attention, one person

(55:55):
is feeling all these things. You'll know what that feels like,
Like that might be super jope. He gotta live in
the house, you know, somebody gotta rub the feet.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
It's like fine until the babies come and then it's
like this is all one. Yeah, that that sounds You
got to put a boundary.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
I should know. This is not tell all the lesbians
and nons where to find you. You can find me
at Mault Glowing Key, our show at Made It Out Podcast,
Made It Out Podcasts, and all of that will be
in the description of this episode. Guys, make sure you
also head all over to Black Effect dot com and
get your tickets to see us in.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
Atlanta, Georgia on April the twenty seventh. We are part
of the Black Effect. That's the bul baby.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Okay, look at that.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Hello, and then also, if you have a yet, go
on over to whore hive dot com if you are
in London or surrounding areas.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
But if you in Europe, go ahead and get your tickets.
May fifth, we are at the Earth Theater in London. Again,
that's at hore hive dot com. See there. Oh, this
has been yet another episode of Horbores. Decision Back. It's bliss,
bitch is welcome back, y'all. We're back for a cinema.

(57:03):
We haven't done one in a while, but we haven't
got two cinemas. That's why cinema we did. We got
two last month. Let me look. Let me on the
pat yeah man, and we and we posted on my
think back to back too. I don't remember. I mean,
I just don't think we.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Spend enough time really talking about the cinema the ways
we should. So I know this one like, I for
sure want to get into it. But let me see
the last cinemas well.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Let me just say this, if you haven't watched Maya
Kopa yet, please watch it. Can ye spoiler alert? Can
you please put the camera on me for a moment.
I need to say something to me. You didn't one
moment you did. Who the fuck did I marry cinema?
That don't count? Why does that not count? That wasn't
a movie? Bitch, Hold on, let me let me get
this out. Go ahead, Miss Kelly Rowland. She's not seeing this.

(57:57):
She only sees this on our life. How she not
seeing this? She says she she fucked with us, but
she said she had patron did don't matter because we
find have made this a clip. Let me tell you
somethingss Kelly Rodan. Okay, I finished Madkofa and I loved it,
mainly because we got to see you outside of shirt
and pants. Now, what I was very upset about was
the ending that man wanted more of you and you

(58:18):
said no. I understand you have a great husband and
a life and children in real life. You should have said, yes,
we need the sequel. I needed a fantasy. It's agree,
hun stand on motherfucking business. What's the business? Fuck him again?

Speaker 2 (58:33):
No, there was no business there. Let's be heard that
he is the reason one of her closest friends got
stabbed and killed. Huh exactly because she chat.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
And all with the same nigga. I don't know that
I know. No, of course you don't. I know the
paint got on that course you don't. We gonna get
to the best friend got stabbed. No, yes she did not.
The reason he is not directly related that just because
he had bomb dick and everybody wanted to fuck him.
She let he led that nigga to kill. No. And
by the way, if you it was clearly clearly if
you have not seen this that we are about to

(59:04):
give all. I blame the white mother killing. Sure, Mandy,
that makes sense, it does. Kelly should have you should
have sucked him for TV. Sorry, continue, I was very upset.
I watched it again last night and I just took
just because I can't be the clup.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
We're not making that a clip. Who not bright, We
can't post a spoiler alert clip like that.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
Yes, we can't. Bet. You just told him to end
in Everybody watched that ship to see you from Kelly,
but ship hit Twitter and they didn't make it to
the end. So guess because I'm gonna be honest with you,
no disrespect the first one. So you watched it twice, Okay.
The first time I watched it, I was keeping to
see the fucking Okay, and then because I have an

(59:47):
hour and a half to give in the moment, but
I was like, well, I gotta see this because you
just have ad I just wanted no, no, no, no no.
I wanted to see like this. She show a titt.
That's what I needed to see. I needed to go no,
but we said I got enough. I got top of Aerial.
Look that's all I expected ever see the Miss Kelly
Roman Top of Ariola really did it for me. It's like,
you know what I'm saying. It felt like I was
taking a peek into something that was my greatest fantasy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
And so Mia Kopa y'all is a thriller that was
directed by the Tyler Perry Child and I will say
I'm just glad that Kelly brought her own hair team
because normally the taller Perry whigs don't be given, but
Kelly was giving her and her office slate.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
I think her estallas is Colin, who also dresses Cardi
B and Victoria Monet.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Colin Carter love him down, but no, she's been slaying lately.
I really really like how she's been dressed in and
she brought all the fashions to it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
I ain't gonna hold you. I don't know what the
hate was for. I loved it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
I was in the bed like this, and it could
be because I'm so horny and so withdrawn from.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Sex and haven't really had that before that. I was
just like, oh my god, this is so great. So
I guess we'll get right into the sexual tension actually
because it wasn't too much. It wasn't jam packed with sex,
but sexual tension can be the sexiest thing sometimes of
a scene. Like we're so overloaded on sex from Twitter,

(01:01:21):
ig all that stuff that I think feeling the vibe about,
and then they're both so fine like that. Really well,
I guess I wanted to start there with sex scenes.
Let's talk about the sex scenes not only in Miacopa,
but I want to talk about overall sex scenes that
we've seen recently in other films and television series. What

(01:01:42):
were your thoughts on So there's three sex scenes that
I wanted to speak about in this So you had
there only three? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. In this film,
I want to talk about it. So there was the
sex scene. I guess I want to talk with the
it is one because this is mormor

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Mm hmm.