October 12, 2020 • 8 mins
If you want to change, preserve, or build a better America, there’s one easy way to make your voice heard: Vote. This year, iHeartRadio is teaming up with over 20 incredible celebrities (plus a handful of our most popular podcasters) to get the country excited to go vote, broadcasting the personal, emotional and heartfelt stories behind why showing up to the ballot box means so much-- not just as individuals, but for our entire nation.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Why I'm Voting, a production of I Heart Radio. Listen.
You already know this, but it's an election year. You
might already be tired of hearing about it. But here's
the thing. Democracy doesn't work without you. I'm Holly Frying,
and I'm sitting down with many of my fellow podcasters,
from Will Ferrell to Stephanie Rule, as well as other luminaries,
(00:27):
to find out about their relationships with the ballot box
and ultimately just to find out why they vote. I
hope you're exercising your right to vote, and if you're not,
I hope that their stories inspire you. Today on Why
I'm Voting, I am joined by the delightful Laurie Gottlieb.
(00:48):
Her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a
New York Times bestseller. She also writes the Dear Therapist
column for The Atlantic, and she is one of the
hosts of the podcast Dear Therapists Plural LORI thank you
so much for joining me today. Thank you so much
for having me. So here's the big stumper that involves
a little bit of mental time travel. Do you remember
(01:09):
how and at what point in your life you learned
about voting? Yes, I do. Actually, it was in fifth
grade and we were studying American government and we learned
about how the voting process worked, and I was really
upset because I felt like, Wow, this is so cool
and I have to wait so long before I can vote.
I remember talking to my parents about that and being
(01:31):
why why why are they telling us all this stuff
and now we can't do it. So I always tried
to influence my parents in terms of how they voted,
so they can sort of vote by proxy for me.
I love this story so much. You're like, I'm ready
put me in um. Does that mean that you registered
immediately when you were able to at a team? Oh?
Absolutely yes. Do you have any memory so the first
(01:52):
time you voted and what that felt like when you
finally got to fulfill your fifth grade dreams. I remember
it being very different from how I expect did. I
was very excited to do it. There was a long line,
which I was excited about because it meant that a
lot of people were voting. I had no idea mechanically
how to do it. You don't know what teaches you,
and I was a nubi. It's sort of like I
(02:13):
felt like they needed to have orientation, you know, for
people who are first time voters. But what was great
was there were a lot of volunteers there who were
willing to help and show me how to do this
new fangled system, and I was really excited. And they
give you like a little sticker you know, when you leave,
and I wore that all day. I love those stickers.
I also, I'm glad that you mentioned the volunteers, because
(02:33):
we haven't had a lot of shout outs for the
people that volunteer to go man those polling stations all
day on election day and just put in their time
because they want to support the process they do. Yeah,
shout out to everyone who volunteers. I always try to
thank them on my way out, and sometimes they give
me a look like I'm a crazy person. We get
ears and eyes full constantly of information about the big elections.
(02:58):
But I'm wondering, are you a big participant in your
local elections and how do you research candidates for those
because they're a little harder to find out their information
they are, so usually I look online. We get mailed
if you're registered to vote in your county and in
your state, you get mailed packets on the various issues
(03:18):
and the various candidates. Um, and I like to read
those and sometimes they're complicated, you know, now that I'm
a parent. Once my son became old enough, we started
talking about them, and I think it's really fun to
talk about them because he's really excited to vote to
He's fourteen now, but since he was younger, right, you know,
old enough to understand, Oh, here's one side of an issue.
(03:40):
Here's another side of an issue, and let's talk about
it because it's not always so clear cut. Yeah, it's
interesting too, like ballot measures are not always worded in
a way that makes sense to the layman there. Yes,
you've really got to pick apart that language. Sometimes. Are
you a mail in voter, an early voter, or a
day of pre COVID? I was a a of but
(04:01):
I am definitely going to be mailing in. I don't
even know if the polls are going to be open
here in California, so I'm I just got my my
information in the mail. Actually, they were confirming that I
live where I live, so that they can make sure
that I am not skipped for these mail in paperwork
that I'm going to have to mail in. Yeah, I
feel like this year, and everybody's a mail in voter,
or most people are. Anyway. You mentioned earlier that the
(04:22):
first time you voted there was a line, and how
you were really excited about it. I also really enjoy
the line. But what is it about that the experience
that makes it so special? I love the line, and
it's the only line I should say that I love.
I generally cannot stay on lunch. I will avoid them
at all costs. So I know it sounds strange to
say I love the line, But what I love about
(04:42):
the line is I feel like we are all participating
in this process, and no matter what your views are,
no matter what you think, everybody's very friendly. Everybody's excited
to be there. Everyone feels like I have a say
in what happens. And I think some people feel removed
for it. You know, who are not they're voting. Some
people feel like, well, what is one vote matter? But
(05:04):
it matters a lot. And when you get in that line,
you see that it matters. You see that people are
passionate about how they feel, how they think. Nobody's arguing
in the line. You know, it's it's very, very friendly,
but everybody feels engaged. Everybody feels like, no, it actually
does matter, you know, And I think that that makes
us really excited about the opportunity that we have that
(05:25):
you know, there are lots of places where people don't
have this kind of opportunity, and I think we take
it for granted. And I think when you're in that line,
you start to see, you know what what we see
on television with a lot of you know, there's a
lot of polarization, all of that. In the line, it's
kind of like, no matter what you believe, that the
fact that we're all participating in this process makes us
feel really good about where We love that you get
(05:46):
to see your whole community turn out, which is like
that never happens at any other events. Do you have
any election day rituals, whether that's watching TV, some article
of clothing you wear for luck for your candidate, etcetera.
What's her day play out? Like? I usually go first
thing in the morning, and it's really fun. There's a
lot of energy at that time. Um, but I have
(06:09):
gone at the end of day the day too. If
I couldn't make it at the end of the day,
you know, it's it's totally different vibe. I don't really
have a ritual I go. I just make sure that
I find a time that I can go. Some people
do have rituals, like you can see that, you know,
they wear certain clothing or they really they really take it,
you know, very seriously. In that way. My ritual is
(06:29):
simply to vote. Here is the last question, and really
the most important, which is that if you were to
encounter a human in the wild who said that they
were not using their right to vote, what is the
one thing you would tell them to try to motivate
them to make sure to get their voice heard. You know,
I think about it sort of as the therapist that
I am, which is that we all have agency in
(06:51):
our own lives, and I think sometimes we forget that.
And part of what happens is people feel like, well,
what I do doesn't matter, and then they feel like
they're not going to do something. And I see, on
a very micro level in their own lives in a relationship,
they'll say, well, it doesn't matter what I do because
this other person does this anyway, And I say, no, Actually,
how you respond to that matters a lot. And the
(07:11):
same thing with voting. So you might not like what
some candidate is doing what some person is doing. But
how are you going to respond to that? Are you
going to do nothing? Or you're going to make your
voice heard? And I think that when people say I'm
not going to pay attention to this because nothing I
do changes anything, I think they're very blind to how
much impact they actually have. Ah, I love it for
(07:32):
the therapists perspective. I had not thought about that before. Marie.
Thank you so much for sharing both your time and
your passionate about voting with us. Oh my pleasure. Thank
you so much for the conversation. Hey, are you not
registered to vote yet but you think it's something you
want to do? You may still have time. Voter registration
(07:54):
deadlines vary by state, so to find out the scoop
for where you are, check out a nonpartisan register raction
voting site like head count dot org or fair vote
dot org. Why I'm Voting is an I Heart Radio production.
For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever it is you
listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Why I'm Voting, a production of I Heart Radio. Listen.
You already know this, but it's an election year. You
might already be tired of hearing about it. But here's
the thing. Democracy doesn't work without you. I'm Holly Frying,
and I'm sitting down with many of my fellow podcasters,
from Will Ferrell to Stephanie Rule, as well as other luminaries,
(00:27):
to find out about their relationships with the ballot box
and ultimately just to find out why they vote. I
hope you're exercising your right to vote, and if you're not,
I hope that their stories inspire you. Today on Why
I'm Voting, I am joined by the delightful Laurie Gottlieb.
(00:48):
Her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a
New York Times bestseller. She also writes the Dear Therapist
column for The Atlantic, and she is one of the
hosts of the podcast Dear Therapists Plural LORI thank you
so much for joining me today. Thank you so much
for having me. So here's the big stumper that involves
a little bit of mental time travel. Do you remember
(01:09):
how and at what point in your life you learned
about voting? Yes, I do. Actually, it was in fifth
grade and we were studying American government and we learned
about how the voting process worked, and I was really
upset because I felt like, Wow, this is so cool
and I have to wait so long before I can vote.
I remember talking to my parents about that and being
(01:31):
why why why are they telling us all this stuff
and now we can't do it. So I always tried
to influence my parents in terms of how they voted,
so they can sort of vote by proxy for me.
I love this story so much. You're like, I'm ready
put me in um. Does that mean that you registered
immediately when you were able to at a team? Oh?
Absolutely yes. Do you have any memory so the first
(01:52):
time you voted and what that felt like when you
finally got to fulfill your fifth grade dreams. I remember
it being very different from how I expect did. I
was very excited to do it. There was a long line,
which I was excited about because it meant that a
lot of people were voting. I had no idea mechanically
how to do it. You don't know what teaches you,
and I was a nubi. It's sort of like I
(02:13):
felt like they needed to have orientation, you know, for
people who are first time voters. But what was great
was there were a lot of volunteers there who were
willing to help and show me how to do this
new fangled system, and I was really excited. And they
give you like a little sticker you know, when you leave,
and I wore that all day. I love those stickers.
I also, I'm glad that you mentioned the volunteers, because
(02:33):
we haven't had a lot of shout outs for the
people that volunteer to go man those polling stations all
day on election day and just put in their time
because they want to support the process they do. Yeah,
shout out to everyone who volunteers. I always try to
thank them on my way out, and sometimes they give
me a look like I'm a crazy person. We get
ears and eyes full constantly of information about the big elections.
(02:58):
But I'm wondering, are you a big participant in your
local elections and how do you research candidates for those
because they're a little harder to find out their information
they are, so usually I look online. We get mailed
if you're registered to vote in your county and in
your state, you get mailed packets on the various issues
(03:18):
and the various candidates. Um, and I like to read
those and sometimes they're complicated, you know, now that I'm
a parent. Once my son became old enough, we started
talking about them, and I think it's really fun to
talk about them because he's really excited to vote to
He's fourteen now, but since he was younger, right, you know,
old enough to understand, Oh, here's one side of an issue.
(03:40):
Here's another side of an issue, and let's talk about
it because it's not always so clear cut. Yeah, it's
interesting too, like ballot measures are not always worded in
a way that makes sense to the layman there. Yes,
you've really got to pick apart that language. Sometimes. Are
you a mail in voter, an early voter, or a
day of pre COVID? I was a a of but
(04:01):
I am definitely going to be mailing in. I don't
even know if the polls are going to be open
here in California, so I'm I just got my my
information in the mail. Actually, they were confirming that I
live where I live, so that they can make sure
that I am not skipped for these mail in paperwork
that I'm going to have to mail in. Yeah, I
feel like this year, and everybody's a mail in voter,
or most people are. Anyway. You mentioned earlier that the
(04:22):
first time you voted there was a line, and how
you were really excited about it. I also really enjoy
the line. But what is it about that the experience
that makes it so special? I love the line, and
it's the only line I should say that I love.
I generally cannot stay on lunch. I will avoid them
at all costs. So I know it sounds strange to
say I love the line, But what I love about
(04:42):
the line is I feel like we are all participating
in this process, and no matter what your views are,
no matter what you think, everybody's very friendly. Everybody's excited
to be there. Everyone feels like I have a say
in what happens. And I think some people feel removed
for it. You know, who are not they're voting. Some
people feel like, well, what is one vote matter? But
(05:04):
it matters a lot. And when you get in that line,
you see that it matters. You see that people are
passionate about how they feel, how they think. Nobody's arguing
in the line. You know, it's it's very, very friendly,
but everybody feels engaged. Everybody feels like, no, it actually
does matter, you know, And I think that that makes
us really excited about the opportunity that we have that
(05:25):
you know, there are lots of places where people don't
have this kind of opportunity, and I think we take
it for granted. And I think when you're in that line,
you start to see, you know what what we see
on television with a lot of you know, there's a
lot of polarization, all of that. In the line, it's
kind of like, no matter what you believe, that the
fact that we're all participating in this process makes us
feel really good about where We love that you get
(05:46):
to see your whole community turn out, which is like
that never happens at any other events. Do you have
any election day rituals, whether that's watching TV, some article
of clothing you wear for luck for your candidate, etcetera.
What's her day play out? Like? I usually go first
thing in the morning, and it's really fun. There's a
lot of energy at that time. Um, but I have
(06:09):
gone at the end of day the day too. If
I couldn't make it at the end of the day,
you know, it's it's totally different vibe. I don't really
have a ritual I go. I just make sure that
I find a time that I can go. Some people
do have rituals, like you can see that, you know,
they wear certain clothing or they really they really take it,
you know, very seriously. In that way. My ritual is
(06:29):
simply to vote. Here is the last question, and really
the most important, which is that if you were to
encounter a human in the wild who said that they
were not using their right to vote, what is the
one thing you would tell them to try to motivate
them to make sure to get their voice heard. You know,
I think about it sort of as the therapist that
I am, which is that we all have agency in
(06:51):
our own lives, and I think sometimes we forget that.
And part of what happens is people feel like, well,
what I do doesn't matter, and then they feel like
they're not going to do something. And I see, on
a very micro level in their own lives in a relationship,
they'll say, well, it doesn't matter what I do because
this other person does this anyway, And I say, no, Actually,
how you respond to that matters a lot. And the
(07:11):
same thing with voting. So you might not like what
some candidate is doing what some person is doing. But
how are you going to respond to that? Are you
going to do nothing? Or you're going to make your
voice heard? And I think that when people say I'm
not going to pay attention to this because nothing I
do changes anything, I think they're very blind to how
much impact they actually have. Ah, I love it for
(07:32):
the therapists perspective. I had not thought about that before. Marie.
Thank you so much for sharing both your time and
your passionate about voting with us. Oh my pleasure. Thank
you so much for the conversation. Hey, are you not
registered to vote yet but you think it's something you
want to do? You may still have time. Voter registration
(07:54):
deadlines vary by state, so to find out the scoop
for where you are, check out a nonpartisan register raction
voting site like head count dot org or fair vote
dot org. Why I'm Voting is an I Heart Radio production.
For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever it is you
listen to your favorite shows.
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