April 16, 2020 • 47 mins
Danisha and I wonder are we really saving money while we are on stay at home orders. I cannot understand why my family chooses fake pancake syrup over real maple syrup. The movie Marriage Story is so heartbreaking I can't watch it but Danisha enjoyed it.
Plus your favorite segment and ours SIWYC, "Say it with your chest" where we each get a full minute to get anything off their mind that they need to.
Make sure to Follow Danisha's channel for all your financial Covid-19 needs including rents, evictions, SBA loans, Payroll Protection Program, etc: https://www.youtube.com/danishadanielle
SBA loan link: https://disasterloan.sba.gov/ela/
Wife vs The Expert is a podcast by husband and wife George and Danisha Wrighster. He’s is a former NFL player turned radio/tv personality. She’s is a businesswoman, real estate broker, and investor. Together, they have a big, beautiful blended family with FIVE children, including a newborn.
We debate popular topics that we rarely agree on, give advice, and even resolve our marital disputes with your help! And, yes, we still pick games. 😉 Send us an email: immad@unafraidshow.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for watching and listening to the Wife versus
the Expert. I am the expert. This is the wife. UM.
We appreciate your time, appreciate your energy. Please make sure
that you share the feed, tell a friend about the
Wife versus the Expert. And in case you can't watch
the whole video, download the podcast wherever podcasts or found Apple, Google, uh, Spotify,
(00:24):
wherever you listen to him the wife first, the expert
is there, um and you can send us an email,
find us on Twitter. She's at Denisia Danielle. I'm at
George Rice sir actually use our last name, but anyways,
Uh yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. We
have a bunch of good topics up for you guys. Obviously,
(00:46):
as you can judge by me, it is Corona time.
It is Corona time. She looks all glammed up. That's
one of her little projects. She's figured out how to
do her little makeup and all this stuff from from
home hair did me? How the hell am I supposed
to get a haircut? YouTube? You can at least I
don't have the tools? Do you don't? Then Amazon it? Like,
(01:08):
what's the problem? Do you know how long it takes
to like. Okay, so as as a black man, you
can't just let anybody cut your hair first and perform
and you should do it yourself. If it were that easy,
everybody would do it. That's why you hire professionals to
do it. That's why that's part of the gift of
(01:28):
the quarantine time. Like, honestly, I usually do very very
little makeup, but you know what I was like, why
don't I try some makeup tutorials. I can do my
own makeup, just like all women. So if you can,
if you can follow a recipe, you can finish. It's
(01:52):
not that easy trying to learn how to fade fade
your own hair and even try. First of all, First
of all, your hair is barely cut. That's a lie.
Anybody seen videos. No, I'm trimmed up, and I would
I would be able to point to exhibit A through
Z Is that not being true anyway? All I'm saying
(02:17):
is at least try like, at least try so hold on,
hold on hold to cut your like. No, I'm not
trying to cut my my hair. I will get dressed,
I will do whatever. But but cutting my own hair
is not an option. Beard. Yes, I can handle that
are you gonna have. You're gonna have a big old
(02:38):
seventies fro at the end of this. That's what your
plan is. Until like it's safe for somebody to come
in our house, You're just gonna keep looking like this.
How what other options do I have? I mean, if
anybody knows of any other options? Cut his own hair.
He's he wears a baldy. Most guys who wear her
(03:00):
baldy cut her on hair and then maybe wear a baldy.
Not going baldy. Try it. Do something anything, please, This
is the first day she did her makeup in a
month and a half, and she's gonna nerve to try
(03:20):
to say something to me. At least I did something.
What are you trying to say? I'm just saying I
did something with my stay and you finally do something
on a day where we can actually change my clothes.
You don't just you just get up in the morning
out here just quarantine style. You gotta put yourself together.
(03:43):
They say that, do you see what you have on
right now? It's not what I want to be. Oh
my god, she's got on a T shirt. And if
you guys can see some something some some foci booty shorts,
old lady sandals, old ladies handles with with but I
got lashes on with warm weather sucks get out of here. Um.
(04:06):
So what are the three most productive things that you
have done during quarantine? Organizing? Lots of organizing. I do
my part of the organizing. I'll just save that. I'll
save that. Per se it with your chest. So I
(04:27):
have been doing a lot of organizing. I have been
getting some some business projects that have been I had
been putting off. UM together, I transitioned my management. UM.
I've been applying for all of these uh COVID nineteen
grants and loans, so hopefully that goes well. UM. I
(04:47):
did a makeup tutorial today. I've been spending lots of
quality time with Roman and my husband. UM. The rest
of aurtions, you see, Devin, the rest of the kids
don't need me, don't even matter. I just care about
(05:09):
I'll just care about the little munchkin. UM. But you know,
I'm trying to find ways to like. I have no
nails anymore, so I'm trying to find ways to stay
in shape. All of that good stuff. So I like
it because I like the natural beauty of you. So
I've been trying to tell him, like, you don't need
(05:29):
all that stuff, like like I know, I'm over here
trying to tell you need some of that stuff, please
some of it. Yes. So, so she's been doing her
her organizing and what so you said organizing? What else?
Organizing work? Um? Roman? Oh lord, see this all you
(05:55):
care about? Um? So for so for me, things I've
been doing, teaching myself how to play the piano, I
have been, Um. I started reading a book on how
to teach Roman math because apparently it's easier to teach.
And I'm teaching him how to read, and I'm teaching
(06:17):
him how to read too, because I'm using your big
gass flash cards that you have me. Um. And also,
uh learned how to broadcast from home so I can
broadcast on national radio and all that stuff from home.
But Denizsa mentioned something good. Um, if you are looking
for information on COVID as it relates to your business, uh,
(06:38):
it's it relates to your rents, your mortgage whatever, follow
her YouTube at um, actually go to my blog for
the landlord stuff because my blog I've been sending out
daily updates because everything changes every single day. Um, just
like today they have new stuff for landlords. So I
(06:58):
would go to Hastina. So see it's dot com blog.
That's where it is, slash blog right, Okay, come on,
you gotta get a people right address. We'll put that
at the bottom. You think somebody's really gonna type houstin
associate dot com blog? Are they going to understand that
there's a slash there? You never know? Mhm um yeah.
(07:23):
So yeah, so look at her blog, YouTube whatever for
all those needs. So for me, those are the things
I've been doing. Learned how to broadcast from home, learning
the piano, and teaching roman math um. I wanted to
talk about something about bed times when not the kid
bad bad times. We've talked about adult bad times. Because
(07:47):
Nie likes to go to bed. She likes to go
to go to bed about ten thirty, but like she'll
be up on her phone scrolling and texts until like
twelve thirty until she falls and falls asleep. What that's
not true? So what do you guys go to sleep together?
Do you go to sleep separately? I mean assuming that
(08:07):
you know one person is not working a night shift
and another person day. Because I think that you should
go to bed, Couples should go to bed generally around
the same time for the most part, but sometimes sometimes
you need some time to yourself or you've got some
other stuff to do. And then and then the next morning,
(08:31):
I'm so tired. Oh my god, it was up on nut.
I'm so tired this morning because you didn't go to bed.
You know, this thing is throwing off yours. That's why.
Then and you won't have that problem. I get up
at five o'clock in the morning, six o'clock in the morning, popping.
I am ready to go. He's over here lagging. Oh
(08:55):
are you serious? Yeah? I was. I've been up since
five this morning. Did you get up this morning? Yeah?
Eight this morning? Exactly? Dragon? How dare you? How dare you?
Because there are times where I'm up in your later
get out here? So I do think that you guys
should go. Well, we try to go to bed around
(09:17):
the same time. At the same time. I'll be like, baby,
can we go getting get in the bed? Sometimes she's like, babe,
can we go get into bed? Try to get in
the bed? What is that not true? I don't know
when you do because you fall asleep on the couch.
That's your m o. The couch is comfortable. I cannot.
(09:38):
I cannot. Like, once it's like ten o'clock, I want
to be in my bed. I do not want to
be on the couch watching George sleep now. I want
to be on the couch until it's time to go
to sleep, and then I want to get in the
bed and go to sleep on the couch. No, no, no,
I would rather get up and then just go on
in the bed and go right to sleep. Boom. Ok
(09:59):
yeah um another thing that oh so I did? Are
we actually I was thinking about this because she made
a comment. She was like, oh, we're saving so much
money not being out, blah blah blah. Yes, we are
saving money on gas, saving money on eating out. But
are we really truly saving money at this point? Because uh,
(10:24):
we might as well put in Amazon DSP delivery service
partner right across the street from our house, because there
can't be very many houses that get more packages than
we get. I mean, we've ordered upgrades to our WiFi.
We have ordered uh, I mean every single d I
Y project. She's ordered post Aboards markers paint smocks that
(10:48):
haven't been used though, I'll tell you why, because like
I ordered the smocks and the paint and all that
stuff because I like to do painting SIPs. But if
you now, they have paint and SIPs for like half price.
So if you have the stuff at your house, you
can do paint and tips at home, which is much
less expensive. Things like um, getting my nails done, dry bar, um,
(11:15):
bikini waxes, all of that stuff. That's a lot of money,
like a lot of money. And you and and how
much money you spend at the barber is just crazy.
What are you talking about? You do you spend a
lot of money when you go cost me thirty three
dollars to get a haircut. I bet you people on
here are like, who pays thirty three dollars for that?
(11:38):
I'm telling you hair cutting beard. Nobody's saying that, okay,
And then how much about the kids? The kids are
twenty two dollars. They're not gonna beers, that's less. So anyway,
that's seventies dollars every two weeks, right, Okay? How much
(11:58):
do you spend on dry bar every exactly? And you
go once a week, no, not usually, maybe once every
other week, but regardless, so there's that there's a lot
of money you spend at the grocery store, like just
running to go get little groceries here and there. We're
not doing that. We're using because we bought them all
(12:20):
at once. Yeah, So that's the point. So I think
you are spending less money, um, because you're not going
to the grocery store and getting your little impulse buys.
But you know, well, what do you think about people
who because there are a lot of people who will
say that we should be supporting local businesses at this
(12:42):
point in time and trying to eat out and eat
take out more to help the restaurant industry. I believe
that we have fully supported, like beyond supported we have done.
We eat more takeout than we absolutely should. So I
am happy that we are eating takeout period, and we
(13:02):
do eat occasionally. I would say every other week we
have some takeout food. But that is honestly, I would
rather live like that. I would rather not be eating
takeout five, six, seven, eight, nine times a week. I
would rather not. There's only seven days the nation. Are
there multiple meals in a day? George? Do you eat
(13:24):
out multiple days? Ask yourself that this is what I'm
talking you guys. If you haven't been able to notice,
George is already on my nerves when this whole thing started.
But this is the point, like he the whole point
is that we are saving money. For sure, we're saving money.
Everybody's saving money just being out in the world and
(13:46):
stopping and getting this or going to the movies. I
like going to the movies. You can't take that away
from my my nine dollars. The virus did. The virus
took it away. I'm not trying to take away anything.
But my point is is that you're absolutely saving money.
We're about to get a refund on car insurance premiums
(14:09):
at big time there we were able to go down
from a multiple car to one car. So I don't
know what what what the question is. Of course, we're
saving money. I was wondering if everybody else was saving
saving money because I know that you are being for
sure they are for sure they are Um okay, okay, okay.
(14:35):
So here's something that has caused a divide in our house,
and it is frustrating to me because I have a
thing about honey and syrup in particular, I like if
you go to and it kind of all started when
one time I went to KFC. This is probably I
(14:57):
have no idea. How long? Probably ten years ago, And
and on the packet it said honey sauce, and I
was like, honey sauce, Like this is weird, Like let
me look and read. It had like twenty ingredients for
a honey. And they can't call it honey because it's
it's a sauce. It's not actual honey. And then the
same thing with syrup. I had real maple syrup, and
(15:18):
I was like, this is amazing, Like why would I
ever eat nasty as Miss Buttersworth or a Jemima's like
and um, and I buy real, good quality maple syrup
and my wife over here buys for the family Aunt
(15:39):
Jemima's or Miss Buttersworth. I told the kids, we're not
using it right. And then this one comes comes in
and I made pancakes. I make fantastic pancakes, and I
make some fantastic pancakes. Kids are eating. Everybody's eating real
maple syrup. She comes in, oh, and then pulls out
(16:02):
this this junk food trash and then pours it on
and the kids are like, how come we can't we
can't have it? And she tries to convince me to
let the kids have this and I don't like it.
I'm not with it. She's lucky this stuff is not
in the trash. And the crazy part is if I
bought something like that. There have been times where she's
(16:23):
throwing stuff in the trash that I bought. But this
nasty ass, sirup, she wants to keep You bought a
case of potato chips, A case, a whole case of
potato chips. Actor. No, no, no, you had your little
ramble after If I can I talk, so he has.
(16:47):
I just want you to give the details. Look at
how you are like, this is how you are. Somebody
help help, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna be quiet.
Go ahead. So George like drunk food. No, we also
likes dessert. You like cookies, you like chips, you like chocolates,
(17:10):
you like gum, you like juice, all of those things.
Actually pretty much the only drink I drink is water
pretty much. Well, then why do we have so much
juice in the house. I make smoothies anyway, That's not
what you get. Y'all be drinking the juice. Who I'm
everybody by me. I don't drink any of the juice.
(17:32):
So what what could you're drinking coffee and wine, coffee,
water and wine. What else do you need? Okay, that's
my thing. So George has all of these drunk foods.
I go through this with him all of the time.
What are there for cookies around here? Not for long
because every time you buy cookies they all get eaten.
(17:54):
So my point is this. He just bought a case
of a case a potato chip, small of small bags
of a case. And they weren't just potato chips. I
get like good quality chips, Like, no, there's no quality
to a potato chips. If you get kettle chips, some
(18:15):
nice Miss Vicky's chips, there's no nutritional value there, zero,
So you you could say whatever you want about it.
He wants this stuff, but he has this big thing
about syrup. You know, I can't do the syrup. It
has to be real, sir, And I'm like, this is
two to three tablespoons of Andrew Mima's. I don't like
(18:37):
the taste of his real maple syrup. So I'm gonna
get what I like to have. And if that's my
little sugary treat, because it guess sugary treated your coffee.
Because if you don't have your coffee, you get sick.
I have what is that? That's not a sugary treat.
It's not because it's sugar. Yes, it's a caffeine, sugar,
caffeine or whatever. How dare you you are a sugar fiend. No,
(19:04):
you're the one who's addicted to to something that if
you don't get it, then you get sick. You get
like dope sick off of coffee. I don't get dope sick.
It's the same thing. Slight exaggeration, Mr riy stir. It's
not dope sick. It's just like get a headache, which
anybody who drinks coffee every day does. And by the way,
I drink one cup of coffee one, just one stinking
(19:27):
cup of coffee. Anybody a mom and she doesn't drink coffee.
Get out of here. You are a saint that it
just doesn't exist. Yes it does. They drink tea in
the laying up, sat and sit tired. Maybe you should
get up and have a cup of coffee. Maybe because
(19:51):
one of us gets up in the middle of the
night with the baby, but one of us. Are you
serious anyway? So my point is this, he makes it
big it's sound crazy. He makes a big deal with
this maple syrup and I'm like, uh, an jemima is
(20:12):
a slight indulgence. Yes, it's high fruit toast corn syrup,
but I'm not tasting that nasty maple syrup. And if
y'all have dessert every night, I can have two to
three tablespoons of ant jemima's. But you want to give
it to the kids to maybe once or twice a week. No,
I'm just not a hypocrite. I'm not gonna sit here
(20:33):
and be like, have a milkshake, but don't you have
that an jemima? Like that sounds crazy? You sound crazy,
So to me, I'm like moderation. It's once or twice
a week maybe, Like seriously, I don't even have syrup
every week. So that's all it is. Get your life, bro,
get your life. I just can't, for the life for me,
(20:56):
understand why anybody wants to eat that BS like it's awful.
It leaves an aftertaste in your mouth. It's all gum
all the time. That has no nutritional value. It's to
get You're supposed that you gum after you eat to
get stuff out of your teeth. No, no, you're not.
(21:17):
You are entis. Please tell him Floss. I believe they
tell you, yes Floss and gum, Yes it does. You
don't know nothing. Nothing tell you all the negative stuff
about gum. And besides the fact that you pop your
gump um, we're under quarantine, y'all if this is what's
(21:46):
going on. So any anyways, we we watch a lot
of television shows together, and we're gonna have to start
talking about Insecure on every episode if somebody would watch
the episodes on time. Um, but what is going to
happen is is that so we want to talk about
because we binge watch a lot of things. I know
(22:08):
you guys do too, it'll be fun to do it together.
So we're gonna talk about the movie marriage story. The
reason why I want to talk about this movie is
because there are times that I would imagine that it
happens to you. Where movies get in the movies, TV
shows interrupt your relationship because like when me and Denisia
(22:29):
first got together, we would watch The Parenthood, then we
watch This is Us, and you know, we watched The Profit.
All of those first two shows were fine, everything was fine,
and then some personal stuff happened in Denisia's life. And
then she can't watch the profit with Marcus Limonis. She don't,
she don't want to watch. It's bothersome to her for
(22:50):
a particular reason. She she she likes Marcus all that stuff.
It was just some other stuff that happened and um
that had nothing to do with him, had nothing to
do with the actually show. And I did a pilot
with CNBC. Okay, so I it was like my own show.
So it was really cool. But I didn't really vibe
on all of it, and so I don't think it
(23:11):
was a true representation of me. It didn't get picked up,
and so I really wasn't feeling like tuning into c
NBC shows. That's it, that is it. But you loved
his show. They still do. I just wasn't feeling it
for two years. So so like, I gotta wait till so,
I gotta wait to feel nothing. So I got to
watch your own shows. You watch all them terrible shows
(23:32):
on I gotta wait till, you know, till you go
to sleep or you're not around or whatever, to watch
an episode of the prophet um so and marriage story
is one that recently you got all triggered. So she
wanted to watch the movie. And and mind you, I'm
a movie buff. I already seen it. Yeah. I try
(23:55):
to watch as many movies as possible, especially Academy Award
nominated ones. You know, if you're a movie but you
should probably see those as we get the screeners. I've
seen most of them. Um, and Marriage Story in particular,
I couldn't watch it. Like halfway through the movie, I
turned it off. And my this never happens to me.
(24:18):
Like she's normally like like trigger person when it comes
to stuff on television regards to whether stuff that's happened
in our relationship, her past, whatever, Like she's the trigger
man and me I just you know, roll with the punches.
But Marriage Story, this was off. I could not watch
(24:38):
this damn movie. So you have who's in it, Adam
Driver and Scarlett Johansson and there and it's Charlie and
let me see, Charlie and Nicole are the central figures
of the movie. And I'm sitting here like I'm watching
so they're getting a divorce, and I'm watching all the
(24:59):
stuff that Charlie went through, and it just triggers me
to stuff that I went through. Even though I wasn't
married like that I went through with with my kids
and all of this stuff, and it was just triggering
to the point where I could not watch the movie.
And it was that and the fact that I was
watching and I was like, this divorce is so avoidable
(25:21):
because I hate to see families broken up, and this
was so avoidable. I was like, I'm sitting here like
a black person in the movie theater yelling at TV
like no, don't do it, don't say that, don't do that. No,
just go to l A like comproam do something. And
it was just so heartbreaking to me to watch it.
(25:42):
And that was probably either the first time or one
of the first times ever in my life that I
could understand where she was coming from in terms of
being probably is one of the first times in your
life that you could understand where I was coming from.
That wasn't true statement about why she was triggered about something,
(26:03):
and like I can't watch it. I can't watch it.
I mean I literally had a physical reaction watching this
movie and I just didn't know how to deal with that.
And the fact that you have helped me evolved into
this into this like uh, emotionally aware person there are
times where I enjoy it when it comes to relationships
with the kids and all that stuff, But times like
(26:25):
like that, I'm like, I need to go back to
the cold hearted man who would never be affected by this. Okay,
you might want to explore why you were so triggered.
I just said, while I was so triggered, But why
what was at the core of it? Because I don't
want to see marriages broken up? And but why is
(26:48):
it triggering? Okay? Here here it is because there have
been some times where we've gotten arguments, fights or something
and I look at um and then and we go
to marriage counseling when even when stuff is good, that
way just just making and it's one of those things
that you're like, Okay, this stuff is avoidable. Like I
(27:11):
see where we have triggered each other or done things
that have not been necessarily positive. Right, But why was
that triggering so much to you? Like? What was it
making you feel angry, hurt, sad, angry, all of the above,
(27:33):
But what about it? Like? What about it? The fact
that this man just wants to be a good father,
He doesn't want to get a divorce from his wife.
His wife's getting terrible advice from the lawyer, and like
she's just throwing gasoline on the fire to like break
up this family because of her own personal agenda. What what?
(27:56):
What do you think her agenda was to have to
have her be a miserable person just like she is. Oh,
you think that the attorney's agenda was to make her miserable? Yeah?
Like like like she got her to do things way
more aggressively toward him that weren't even necessary. Like they
could have gotten a divorce with the mediator like they
(28:19):
wanted to if they really wanted to get a divorce.
So what do you think the wife's goal was? I
think her goal was just to get some power and
and and have her own life. And why because she
hadn't had that throughout throughout their relationship. So I understand
wanting that, But the fact that this lawyer came in
(28:43):
and made the situation a hundred times worse. You were
really triggered by the lawyer by the escalation of the problem,
which divide, which hurt the kid and hurt the dad
because he didn't want it. He would have done things
to try to fix it. What he wasn't willing to.
(29:05):
He wasn't willing to relocate to l A at all
during the marriage or after the divorce. I'm saying, to
try to fix their divorce situation and try to do
it amicably. Mm hmm. Interesting. It's interesting. I mean to me,
when I saw the movie, I saw a wife who
(29:30):
was sick of his ship, right like seriously sick of
it and sick of having this life that she did
not want. She she was like, this was not the
life that I envisioned for myself that I thought we
were going to have together. And I have been disappointed
and let down a lot of times, and now I'm
(29:53):
gonna I am done with this marriage. I do have
like i'm level of love like I felt like she did. Um.
But it's a it's a nice art because I had
empathy for the wife, I had empathy for the husband,
had empathy for the kid. Um. I wasn't at all
(30:14):
mad at the attorney. She's a divorce attorney. She's doing
what divorce attorneys do. She's advocating for her client to
have her kids. But there was a like what else
was she supposed to do? But like, that's the thing
is that there wasn't an advocating for her to have
her kids. It was the advocating for her, the dad
not it was it had to become they were mutually exclusive.
(30:38):
Dad was wanting to stay in New York. So if
mom wants to go to l A, there is no
we're gonna work this out. You get Tuesday through Friday. No, no, no, no.
He would have been willing for the kid to stay
out there for a bit and and then no, no,
I'm saying, and then go back into summer. He was like,
(31:01):
I'm talking about to go back to the summers or
something like they could have found a resolution, and the
divorce attorney was a b I that that wanted, like
she wanted something that the lady didn't even want, and
it escalated. The point is is that you were very
triggered by it and you saw it, you know, from
the perspective of you having to go fight for your
(31:23):
kids and feeling like you had to do unreasonable stuff
correct correct and the fact that this marriage was ending
and it didn't have to. I mean, what do you mean.
I'm saying that they both could have made different choices
and that and that I see from our counsel and
stuff where I'm like, listen, you don't have to go
(31:44):
down this path that you're not always going to be
you know, oh we're so in love KISSI faced all
this stuff right now. But that doesn't mean that you
should get a divorce. That doesn't mean that your relationship
should end. You have to work through these things evolve individually, yeah,
but sometimes people don't evolve together like they don't so sometimes.
(32:06):
But I think that's a lot of people don't fight.
I mean our always says that to health that are healthy,
people can be married to anybody. Correct, correct, So people
are not healthy, then they can't be married to anybody.
And in those situations, I mean, he cheated on her,
like all kinds of stuff, Like at some point somebody's like, listen,
(32:30):
I don't have I ain't got no more no more
room for for you and the way you're living, and
she basically said, I don't want this life anymore. That
is I think that's why most I think that's why
most women are the ones who file for divorce. It's
like or something like that, right, because guys are like,
(32:52):
well we can, We'll just keep working it out my way,
We'll just keep doing things. It's the other way to like,
that's assuming that the woman is right in the situation
and that she's the victim, but she's doing things to
contribute to the to the detriment of the marriage too.
How like what was she doing by being closed off
(33:14):
or being I mean there there's so many things that
happened in relationship. But she she had left her career
in l A, moved to New York where she didn't
want to be became and his theater thing, which was
his dream. So she was a supporter of his dream
and that she kept saying, I want to do my
(33:35):
thing too. He was not receptive to that. So maybe
so there's not a Oh, they didn't have to get divorced.
At some point, somebody's gonna say, but I'm not going
to do Sometimes you have to speak up. Sometimes you
have to know. She did know that sometimes you have
(33:56):
to say things in a way that people can can
hear you because us, because because the way that you
think that somebody should understand, or like you're you're like,
how don't they see this? Because people paint differently, People
paint by by numbers differently. Sometimes I go from one
(34:16):
to one, one hundred, you go from one hundred back
back down to one. You're still gonna get to the
ending solution. Sometimes it's a different way. My point is this,
there are divorces, and I thought it was a really
good movie to show kind of how two good people
(34:36):
and people who were in love, how their relationship can
fall apart. Yeah, it's easy to fall It's easy to
fall apart if you're not doing the work. That's what
I'm saying, right, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not disputing that.
All I'm saying is that you have to try to
put yourself in everybody's position. That that is where I
(34:58):
thought the movie did a pretty a job. I still
think it was told a lot from the male perspective.
Well it was the guy who wrote it correct who
was still from his perspective, but you could you could
see everybody's position and how everybody was affected by the divorce.
So I thought it was good, which sucked like there
was no winners in on that topic. Another thing that
(35:21):
has divided our house in movies is, um, we have
one child who doesn't like to watch movies, and it's
something and I remember Denicia telling me when Devin was
who's now twenty, was younger, she didn't like to watch movies.
With any violence, even if people yelled or like, even
(35:43):
if it were a cartoon or anything, She's like, no,
I don't want to watch. And and the next oldest
daughter she does not like it at all, Like we
like watching Animal Fight Night, all of these things on
Animal Planet? What do boys do on Animal Planet? And
all these things, and she's not with it at all,
(36:06):
which I'm cool with. But I don't understand how she like, like,
can't handle cartoons a lot of times. Uh yeah, I
think sometimes it's like she just is anticipating that it's
going to go down a bad path and she doesn't
want that experience. Um, but yeah, I mean, but you
(36:28):
you've always watched, in my opinion, inappropriate stuff with the
boys at an early age, so they're desensitized. Doesn't bother
them death and carnage. It's okay. She's not okay with it.
Neither is Devin. Neither am I I don't like watching that. Well,
(36:50):
I don't show them death and carnage watching an Iron
Man or something? Are you serious? Nobody dies and army farmers.
I'm just saying, like video games, all of that stuff,
I didn't let them play, like Call of Duty and
(37:10):
all that stuff. No, liar, lie on here. I'm serious.
Note I just let David Plush start playing call Call
of Duty again. He was again again again. You just
told on yourself, told on yourself. See over here, trying
to be like I don't need to look them, well,
I don't. I don't let Kaden play kayden is in
(37:31):
there when No, I don't know he's not. Yes, no
he's not venician. No he's not. Say it, Say it again?
Say it again. You don't scare me? Alright, wait to
wait till we get get out. I'm trying to Maybe
they'll tell you and you'll listen because you don't listen
to me. How could I not listen to you? Tell
(37:55):
it like it is? But you know you got the
loudest person in room. But I will say that it
is important to be sensitive to your kids feelings and
all these things which I have. You know I'm really
good at that. Now, Um, what is the laughing about?
I mean, you're better, You're better. No, you're like overly
(38:18):
sensitive to it. You're like like sensitive to the point.
So I try to be sensitive to their feelings without
letting them make excuses. But Denisia will be like like
because they know that that's a button that they can push, like, oh,
like I'm I'm triggered, I'm bothered, like this was making
me feel a certain way, and I'm like, cut the crap, dude.
(38:38):
So then then you're sending a mixed signal because a
lot of times you tell them, no, tell me how
you feel. I really want to know, use your words,
use this, you know, what's what's going on with you?
And then it's cut the crap. I don't want to
hear it. No, no, no, no, it's only cut the
crap when you're trying to use it as an excuse
to to to to manipulate, like why you didn't do
(39:01):
something or why you shouldn't do it because you're like,
oh I felt some kind of way it was this
to trigger me this, And I'm like, come on, I
think I think you buy those excuses more than I
buy for sure, for sure from practice, like really really,
oh stop, you still gotta wash the dishes? Stop? You
(39:24):
know what? I hope your family comes on here, because
they will they will be like that's true, no, no,
because they because they're not here, in in in this house.
But uh, but now it is time for her favorite well,
her favorite segment is praising me and which which we
(39:45):
do after. But it is time for the segment that
we call two three Say it with your chest, Say
it with your chest, where we get one minute to
get off something that is on our heart and mind
and and said other person cannot respond, cannot have to
be quiet and everything. No, you're up first, No, you're first.
(40:09):
I was up first last time. No I went first
last time. No, go ahead and go go ahead and
go ready and put it on one one minute? Wait, whoa,
I wasn't ready yet. Ready. No, you need to do
(40:31):
you need to organize yourself. How dare you? How dare you? Okay? Go?
I have the same problem that I had last week,
A little bit um my wife, who I love dearly,
who is amazing. She likes to She gets upset when
(40:53):
people don't listen or aren't paying attention to her because
they're on their phone, they're watching TV or doing something else.
And she will come in in the middle of them
doing it and start talking and be like, I was
just talking to you. Why weren't you paying attention? And
I'm like, I was doing something before you came in here.
You do realize that, right, But then the other way around,
(41:16):
she's got nerve to be like, oh wait, hold on,
I'm talking to you. Can you can? Can you put
your phone down? Blah blah blah. But then on well,
on the other hand, if she is on the phone
or if she's doing something, she tries to make every
excuse I was doing something, I'm not paying attention, I
was on my phone and blah blah blah. So she's
a hypocrite in this area. And whoa, whoa are you responding?
(41:45):
Are you responding? Okay? Exactly, that's a response. Can you
follow instructions? You can't? You can? Can you follow the rules?
Can you all the rules? Oh? My god? Saying plans
is not? I was clasha clans is not? I was
(42:08):
doing something like if you over there handling some business,
then then yes, maybe I'll wait into my point. Is
not doing something you can't even follow it in that's ridiculous.
So you know what I'm saying. It's true. He is
(42:28):
on my nerves, y'all. Oh my gosh, are you ready?
Are you ready? Yes? Okay? If I spend I don't
even need a minute. If I spend the time to
organize and I removed things from our house. It is
not okay to put them into the garage indefinitely. Our
(42:49):
garage space is actually something that I would like to
keep organized. So when you let this stuff pile up
because you're not doing your part of the organization, which
is to get rid of that stuff, I organize it,
you get rid of it, but your part is not done.
And then you've made our other garage a a gym
(43:11):
that has stuff hanging from everywhere, and it's messy and
it gives me anxiety. I don't like it. I don't
need any more time. Good. I'm not gonna respond to
that because I'm not supposed to because those are the rules.
Maybe I'll talk about it in the next episode. No,
(43:32):
we both made it up. Oh stop, this is your
whole singment, so you can say what you want to say.
So all right, so now you go first with saying
the great things you love about me, which is the
next seg with the next segment that was created by
Cassandra Riser, who said, say it with your chest. No,
say it with your chest, something good about your spouse.
(43:55):
So I will say something good about you. You've been
out here cooking you and I are cooking doing your
something new, your makeup looks nice. Thank you the end.
I love that about you. What I'm just supposed to
(44:17):
say that I love about you? Okay, go your turn.
So I can't think of anything look a baby like
a little kid. I can't let me think typical to see.
(44:41):
This is why I'm the expert, because I can coachable,
take advice, listen to these things. That's why the lettuce
grow getting that together. The lettuce grows are hide your
poet garden. Yeah, good job. I love that about you.
(45:03):
Thank you guys for listening to the wife versus the expert.
Always rice, there never wife and the expert. And it's
the same person. That's the part that you gotta figure out.
Like happy wife, happy life does not always mean right
right wife. I mean the right wife, but not that
(45:26):
she's always right. She may always get to be right,
but that doesn't mean she's always right. Well everybody says
I'm right. Nobody literally, nobody says literally. Check the comments
they tell you all of the time, because those are
your friends. Those are husbands who are watching it with
(45:47):
their wives, trying to just make husbands who have figured
out life. My dad gave me great advice for right
before we got married. He said, do you want to
be happy or do you want to be right? I
choose I choose happy majority of time. Every now and then,
you gotta be right. When are you right? Anyways? Thank
(46:08):
you guys for listening to the white versus the expert.
We appreciate your time, appreciate your energy. Find me at
George Rice Stir anywhere, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, wherever, at Denisia
Danielle same thing, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, wherever else. UM for
all of your COVID stuff. Make sure you hit her up. UM.
(46:30):
She will get back with you. Just don't call the
phone line. UM. Uh. You guys can send us an
email UM if you want at I'm mad, I am
m A d at, unafraid show dot com um or
anything like that. Piece out. See you guys next episode
Thank you for watching and listening to the Wife versus
the Expert. I am the expert. This is the wife. UM.
We appreciate your time, appreciate your energy. Please make sure
that you share the feed, tell a friend about the
Wife versus the Expert. And in case you can't watch
the whole video, download the podcast wherever podcasts or found Apple, Google, uh, Spotify,
(00:24):
wherever you listen to him the wife first, the expert
is there, um and you can send us an email,
find us on Twitter. She's at Denisia Danielle. I'm at
George Rice sir actually use our last name, but anyways,
Uh yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. We
have a bunch of good topics up for you guys. Obviously,
(00:46):
as you can judge by me, it is Corona time.
It is Corona time. She looks all glammed up. That's
one of her little projects. She's figured out how to
do her little makeup and all this stuff from from
home hair did me? How the hell am I supposed
to get a haircut? YouTube? You can at least I
don't have the tools? Do you don't? Then Amazon it? Like,
(01:08):
what's the problem? Do you know how long it takes
to like. Okay, so as as a black man, you
can't just let anybody cut your hair first and perform
and you should do it yourself. If it were that easy,
everybody would do it. That's why you hire professionals to
do it. That's why that's part of the gift of
(01:28):
the quarantine time. Like, honestly, I usually do very very
little makeup, but you know what I was like, why
don't I try some makeup tutorials. I can do my
own makeup, just like all women. So if you can,
if you can follow a recipe, you can finish. It's
(01:52):
not that easy trying to learn how to fade fade
your own hair and even try. First of all, First
of all, your hair is barely cut. That's a lie.
Anybody seen videos. No, I'm trimmed up, and I would
I would be able to point to exhibit A through
Z Is that not being true anyway? All I'm saying
(02:17):
is at least try like, at least try so hold on,
hold on hold to cut your like. No, I'm not
trying to cut my my hair. I will get dressed,
I will do whatever. But but cutting my own hair
is not an option. Beard. Yes, I can handle that
are you gonna have. You're gonna have a big old
(02:38):
seventies fro at the end of this. That's what your
plan is. Until like it's safe for somebody to come
in our house, You're just gonna keep looking like this.
How what other options do I have? I mean, if
anybody knows of any other options? Cut his own hair.
He's he wears a baldy. Most guys who wear her
(03:00):
baldy cut her on hair and then maybe wear a baldy.
Not going baldy. Try it. Do something anything, please, This
is the first day she did her makeup in a
month and a half, and she's gonna nerve to try
(03:20):
to say something to me. At least I did something.
What are you trying to say? I'm just saying I
did something with my stay and you finally do something
on a day where we can actually change my clothes.
You don't just you just get up in the morning
out here just quarantine style. You gotta put yourself together.
(03:43):
They say that, do you see what you have on
right now? It's not what I want to be. Oh
my god, she's got on a T shirt. And if
you guys can see some something some some foci booty shorts,
old lady sandals, old ladies handles with with but I
got lashes on with warm weather sucks get out of here. Um.
(04:06):
So what are the three most productive things that you
have done during quarantine? Organizing? Lots of organizing. I do
my part of the organizing. I'll just save that. I'll
save that. Per se it with your chest. So I
(04:27):
have been doing a lot of organizing. I have been
getting some some business projects that have been I had
been putting off. UM together, I transitioned my management. UM.
I've been applying for all of these uh COVID nineteen
grants and loans, so hopefully that goes well. UM. I
(04:47):
did a makeup tutorial today. I've been spending lots of
quality time with Roman and my husband. UM. The rest
of aurtions, you see, Devin, the rest of the kids
don't need me, don't even matter. I just care about
(05:09):
I'll just care about the little munchkin. UM. But you know,
I'm trying to find ways to like. I have no
nails anymore, so I'm trying to find ways to stay
in shape. All of that good stuff. So I like
it because I like the natural beauty of you. So
I've been trying to tell him, like, you don't need
(05:29):
all that stuff, like like I know, I'm over here
trying to tell you need some of that stuff, please
some of it. Yes. So, so she's been doing her
her organizing and what so you said organizing? What else?
Organizing work? Um? Roman? Oh lord, see this all you
(05:55):
care about? Um? So for so for me, things I've
been doing, teaching myself how to play the piano, I
have been, Um. I started reading a book on how
to teach Roman math because apparently it's easier to teach.
And I'm teaching him how to read, and I'm teaching
(06:17):
him how to read too, because I'm using your big
gass flash cards that you have me. Um. And also,
uh learned how to broadcast from home so I can
broadcast on national radio and all that stuff from home.
But Denizsa mentioned something good. Um, if you are looking
for information on COVID as it relates to your business, uh,
(06:38):
it's it relates to your rents, your mortgage whatever, follow
her YouTube at um, actually go to my blog for
the landlord stuff because my blog I've been sending out
daily updates because everything changes every single day. Um, just
like today they have new stuff for landlords. So I
(06:58):
would go to Hastina. So see it's dot com blog.
That's where it is, slash blog right, Okay, come on,
you gotta get a people right address. We'll put that
at the bottom. You think somebody's really gonna type houstin
associate dot com blog? Are they going to understand that
there's a slash there? You never know? Mhm um yeah.
(07:23):
So yeah, so look at her blog, YouTube whatever for
all those needs. So for me, those are the things
I've been doing. Learned how to broadcast from home, learning
the piano, and teaching roman math um. I wanted to
talk about something about bed times when not the kid
bad bad times. We've talked about adult bad times. Because
(07:47):
Nie likes to go to bed. She likes to go
to go to bed about ten thirty, but like she'll
be up on her phone scrolling and texts until like
twelve thirty until she falls and falls asleep. What that's
not true? So what do you guys go to sleep together?
Do you go to sleep separately? I mean assuming that
(08:07):
you know one person is not working a night shift
and another person day. Because I think that you should
go to bed, Couples should go to bed generally around
the same time for the most part, but sometimes sometimes
you need some time to yourself or you've got some
other stuff to do. And then and then the next morning,
(08:31):
I'm so tired. Oh my god, it was up on nut.
I'm so tired this morning because you didn't go to bed.
You know, this thing is throwing off yours. That's why.
Then and you won't have that problem. I get up
at five o'clock in the morning, six o'clock in the morning, popping.
I am ready to go. He's over here lagging. Oh
(08:55):
are you serious? Yeah? I was. I've been up since
five this morning. Did you get up this morning? Yeah?
Eight this morning? Exactly? Dragon? How dare you? How dare you?
Because there are times where I'm up in your later
get out here? So I do think that you guys
should go. Well, we try to go to bed around
(09:17):
the same time. At the same time. I'll be like, baby,
can we go getting get in the bed? Sometimes she's like, babe,
can we go get into bed? Try to get in
the bed? What is that not true? I don't know
when you do because you fall asleep on the couch.
That's your m o. The couch is comfortable. I cannot.
(09:38):
I cannot. Like, once it's like ten o'clock, I want
to be in my bed. I do not want to
be on the couch watching George sleep now. I want
to be on the couch until it's time to go
to sleep, and then I want to get in the
bed and go to sleep on the couch. No, no, no,
I would rather get up and then just go on
in the bed and go right to sleep. Boom. Ok
(09:59):
yeah um another thing that oh so I did? Are
we actually I was thinking about this because she made
a comment. She was like, oh, we're saving so much
money not being out, blah blah blah. Yes, we are
saving money on gas, saving money on eating out. But
are we really truly saving money at this point? Because uh,
(10:24):
we might as well put in Amazon DSP delivery service
partner right across the street from our house, because there
can't be very many houses that get more packages than
we get. I mean, we've ordered upgrades to our WiFi.
We have ordered uh, I mean every single d I
Y project. She's ordered post Aboards markers paint smocks that
(10:48):
haven't been used though, I'll tell you why, because like
I ordered the smocks and the paint and all that
stuff because I like to do painting SIPs. But if
you now, they have paint and SIPs for like half price.
So if you have the stuff at your house, you
can do paint and tips at home, which is much
less expensive. Things like um, getting my nails done, dry bar, um,
(11:15):
bikini waxes, all of that stuff. That's a lot of money,
like a lot of money. And you and and how
much money you spend at the barber is just crazy.
What are you talking about? You do you spend a
lot of money when you go cost me thirty three
dollars to get a haircut. I bet you people on
here are like, who pays thirty three dollars for that?
(11:38):
I'm telling you hair cutting beard. Nobody's saying that, okay,
And then how much about the kids? The kids are
twenty two dollars. They're not gonna beers, that's less. So anyway,
that's seventies dollars every two weeks, right, Okay? How much
(11:58):
do you spend on dry bar every exactly? And you
go once a week, no, not usually, maybe once every
other week, but regardless, so there's that there's a lot
of money you spend at the grocery store, like just
running to go get little groceries here and there. We're
not doing that. We're using because we bought them all
(12:20):
at once. Yeah, So that's the point. So I think
you are spending less money, um, because you're not going
to the grocery store and getting your little impulse buys.
But you know, well, what do you think about people
who because there are a lot of people who will
say that we should be supporting local businesses at this
(12:42):
point in time and trying to eat out and eat
take out more to help the restaurant industry. I believe
that we have fully supported, like beyond supported we have done.
We eat more takeout than we absolutely should. So I
am happy that we are eating takeout period, and we
(13:02):
do eat occasionally. I would say every other week we
have some takeout food. But that is honestly, I would
rather live like that. I would rather not be eating
takeout five, six, seven, eight, nine times a week. I
would rather not. There's only seven days the nation. Are
there multiple meals in a day? George? Do you eat
(13:24):
out multiple days? Ask yourself that this is what I'm
talking you guys. If you haven't been able to notice,
George is already on my nerves when this whole thing started.
But this is the point, like he the whole point
is that we are saving money. For sure, we're saving money.
Everybody's saving money just being out in the world and
(13:46):
stopping and getting this or going to the movies. I
like going to the movies. You can't take that away
from my my nine dollars. The virus did. The virus
took it away. I'm not trying to take away anything.
But my point is is that you're absolutely saving money.
We're about to get a refund on car insurance premiums
(14:09):
at big time there we were able to go down
from a multiple car to one car. So I don't
know what what what the question is. Of course, we're
saving money. I was wondering if everybody else was saving
saving money because I know that you are being for
sure they are for sure they are Um okay, okay, okay.
(14:35):
So here's something that has caused a divide in our house,
and it is frustrating to me because I have a
thing about honey and syrup in particular, I like if
you go to and it kind of all started when
one time I went to KFC. This is probably I
(14:57):
have no idea. How long? Probably ten years ago, And
and on the packet it said honey sauce, and I
was like, honey sauce, Like this is weird, Like let
me look and read. It had like twenty ingredients for
a honey. And they can't call it honey because it's
it's a sauce. It's not actual honey. And then the
same thing with syrup. I had real maple syrup, and
(15:18):
I was like, this is amazing, Like why would I
ever eat nasty as Miss Buttersworth or a Jemima's like
and um, and I buy real, good quality maple syrup
and my wife over here buys for the family Aunt
(15:39):
Jemima's or Miss Buttersworth. I told the kids, we're not
using it right. And then this one comes comes in
and I made pancakes. I make fantastic pancakes, and I
make some fantastic pancakes. Kids are eating. Everybody's eating real
maple syrup. She comes in, oh, and then pulls out
(16:02):
this this junk food trash and then pours it on
and the kids are like, how come we can't we
can't have it? And she tries to convince me to
let the kids have this and I don't like it.
I'm not with it. She's lucky this stuff is not
in the trash. And the crazy part is if I
bought something like that. There have been times where she's
(16:23):
throwing stuff in the trash that I bought. But this
nasty ass, sirup, she wants to keep You bought a
case of potato chips, A case, a whole case of
potato chips. Actor. No, no, no, you had your little
ramble after If I can I talk, so he has.
(16:47):
I just want you to give the details. Look at
how you are like, this is how you are. Somebody
help help, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna be quiet.
Go ahead. So George like drunk food. No, we also
likes dessert. You like cookies, you like chips, you like chocolates,
(17:10):
you like gum, you like juice, all of those things.
Actually pretty much the only drink I drink is water
pretty much. Well, then why do we have so much
juice in the house. I make smoothies anyway, That's not
what you get. Y'all be drinking the juice. Who I'm
everybody by me. I don't drink any of the juice.
(17:32):
So what what could you're drinking coffee and wine, coffee,
water and wine. What else do you need? Okay, that's
my thing. So George has all of these drunk foods.
I go through this with him all of the time.
What are there for cookies around here? Not for long
because every time you buy cookies they all get eaten.
(17:54):
So my point is this. He just bought a case
of a case a potato chip, small of small bags
of a case. And they weren't just potato chips. I
get like good quality chips, Like, no, there's no quality
to a potato chips. If you get kettle chips, some
(18:15):
nice Miss Vicky's chips, there's no nutritional value there, zero,
So you you could say whatever you want about it.
He wants this stuff, but he has this big thing
about syrup. You know, I can't do the syrup. It
has to be real, sir, And I'm like, this is
two to three tablespoons of Andrew Mima's. I don't like
(18:37):
the taste of his real maple syrup. So I'm gonna
get what I like to have. And if that's my
little sugary treat, because it guess sugary treated your coffee.
Because if you don't have your coffee, you get sick.
I have what is that? That's not a sugary treat.
It's not because it's sugar. Yes, it's a caffeine, sugar,
caffeine or whatever. How dare you you are a sugar fiend. No,
(19:04):
you're the one who's addicted to to something that if
you don't get it, then you get sick. You get
like dope sick off of coffee. I don't get dope sick.
It's the same thing. Slight exaggeration, Mr riy stir. It's
not dope sick. It's just like get a headache, which
anybody who drinks coffee every day does. And by the way,
I drink one cup of coffee one, just one stinking
(19:27):
cup of coffee. Anybody a mom and she doesn't drink coffee.
Get out of here. You are a saint that it
just doesn't exist. Yes it does. They drink tea in
the laying up, sat and sit tired. Maybe you should
get up and have a cup of coffee. Maybe because
(19:51):
one of us gets up in the middle of the
night with the baby, but one of us. Are you
serious anyway? So my point is this, he makes it
big it's sound crazy. He makes a big deal with
this maple syrup and I'm like, uh, an jemima is
(20:12):
a slight indulgence. Yes, it's high fruit toast corn syrup,
but I'm not tasting that nasty maple syrup. And if
y'all have dessert every night, I can have two to
three tablespoons of ant jemima's. But you want to give
it to the kids to maybe once or twice a week. No,
I'm just not a hypocrite. I'm not gonna sit here
(20:33):
and be like, have a milkshake, but don't you have
that an jemima? Like that sounds crazy? You sound crazy,
So to me, I'm like moderation. It's once or twice
a week maybe, Like seriously, I don't even have syrup
every week. So that's all it is. Get your life, bro,
get your life. I just can't, for the life for me,
(20:56):
understand why anybody wants to eat that BS like it's awful.
It leaves an aftertaste in your mouth. It's all gum
all the time. That has no nutritional value. It's to
get You're supposed that you gum after you eat to
get stuff out of your teeth. No, no, you're not.
(21:17):
You are entis. Please tell him Floss. I believe they
tell you, yes Floss and gum, Yes it does. You
don't know nothing. Nothing tell you all the negative stuff
about gum. And besides the fact that you pop your
gump um, we're under quarantine, y'all if this is what's
(21:46):
going on. So any anyways, we we watch a lot
of television shows together, and we're gonna have to start
talking about Insecure on every episode if somebody would watch
the episodes on time. Um, but what is going to
happen is is that so we want to talk about
because we binge watch a lot of things. I know
(22:08):
you guys do too, it'll be fun to do it together.
So we're gonna talk about the movie marriage story. The
reason why I want to talk about this movie is
because there are times that I would imagine that it
happens to you. Where movies get in the movies, TV
shows interrupt your relationship because like when me and Denisia
(22:29):
first got together, we would watch The Parenthood, then we
watch This is Us, and you know, we watched The Profit.
All of those first two shows were fine, everything was fine,
and then some personal stuff happened in Denisia's life. And
then she can't watch the profit with Marcus Limonis. She don't,
she don't want to watch. It's bothersome to her for
(22:50):
a particular reason. She she she likes Marcus all that stuff.
It was just some other stuff that happened and um
that had nothing to do with him, had nothing to
do with the actually show. And I did a pilot
with CNBC. Okay, so I it was like my own show.
So it was really cool. But I didn't really vibe
on all of it, and so I don't think it
(23:11):
was a true representation of me. It didn't get picked up,
and so I really wasn't feeling like tuning into c
NBC shows. That's it, that is it. But you loved
his show. They still do. I just wasn't feeling it
for two years. So so like, I gotta wait till so,
I gotta wait to feel nothing. So I got to
watch your own shows. You watch all them terrible shows
(23:32):
on I gotta wait till, you know, till you go
to sleep or you're not around or whatever, to watch
an episode of the prophet um so and marriage story
is one that recently you got all triggered. So she
wanted to watch the movie. And and mind you, I'm
a movie buff. I already seen it. Yeah. I try
(23:55):
to watch as many movies as possible, especially Academy Award
nominated ones. You know, if you're a movie but you
should probably see those as we get the screeners. I've
seen most of them. Um, and Marriage Story in particular,
I couldn't watch it. Like halfway through the movie, I
turned it off. And my this never happens to me.
(24:18):
Like she's normally like like trigger person when it comes
to stuff on television regards to whether stuff that's happened
in our relationship, her past, whatever, Like she's the trigger
man and me I just you know, roll with the punches.
But Marriage Story, this was off. I could not watch
(24:38):
this damn movie. So you have who's in it, Adam
Driver and Scarlett Johansson and there and it's Charlie and
let me see, Charlie and Nicole are the central figures
of the movie. And I'm sitting here like I'm watching
so they're getting a divorce, and I'm watching all the
(24:59):
stuff that Charlie went through, and it just triggers me
to stuff that I went through. Even though I wasn't
married like that I went through with with my kids
and all of this stuff, and it was just triggering
to the point where I could not watch the movie.
And it was that and the fact that I was
watching and I was like, this divorce is so avoidable
(25:21):
because I hate to see families broken up, and this
was so avoidable. I was like, I'm sitting here like
a black person in the movie theater yelling at TV
like no, don't do it, don't say that, don't do that. No,
just go to l A like comproam do something. And
it was just so heartbreaking to me to watch it.
(25:42):
And that was probably either the first time or one
of the first times ever in my life that I
could understand where she was coming from in terms of
being probably is one of the first times in your
life that you could understand where I was coming from.
That wasn't true statement about why she was triggered about something,
(26:03):
and like I can't watch it. I can't watch it.
I mean I literally had a physical reaction watching this
movie and I just didn't know how to deal with that.
And the fact that you have helped me evolved into
this into this like uh, emotionally aware person there are
times where I enjoy it when it comes to relationships
with the kids and all that stuff, But times like
(26:25):
like that, I'm like, I need to go back to
the cold hearted man who would never be affected by this. Okay,
you might want to explore why you were so triggered.
I just said, while I was so triggered, But why
what was at the core of it? Because I don't
want to see marriages broken up? And but why is
(26:48):
it triggering? Okay? Here here it is because there have
been some times where we've gotten arguments, fights or something
and I look at um and then and we go
to marriage counseling when even when stuff is good, that
way just just making and it's one of those things
that you're like, Okay, this stuff is avoidable. Like I
(27:11):
see where we have triggered each other or done things
that have not been necessarily positive. Right, But why was
that triggering so much to you? Like? What was it
making you feel angry, hurt, sad, angry, all of the above,
(27:33):
But what about it? Like? What about it? The fact
that this man just wants to be a good father,
He doesn't want to get a divorce from his wife.
His wife's getting terrible advice from the lawyer, and like
she's just throwing gasoline on the fire to like break
up this family because of her own personal agenda. What what?
(27:56):
What do you think her agenda was to have to
have her be a miserable person just like she is. Oh,
you think that the attorney's agenda was to make her miserable? Yeah?
Like like like she got her to do things way
more aggressively toward him that weren't even necessary. Like they
could have gotten a divorce with the mediator like they
(28:19):
wanted to if they really wanted to get a divorce.
So what do you think the wife's goal was? I
think her goal was just to get some power and
and and have her own life. And why because she
hadn't had that throughout throughout their relationship. So I understand
wanting that, But the fact that this lawyer came in
(28:43):
and made the situation a hundred times worse. You were
really triggered by the lawyer by the escalation of the problem,
which divide, which hurt the kid and hurt the dad
because he didn't want it. He would have done things
to try to fix it. What he wasn't willing to.
(29:05):
He wasn't willing to relocate to l A at all
during the marriage or after the divorce. I'm saying, to
try to fix their divorce situation and try to do
it amicably. Mm hmm. Interesting. It's interesting. I mean to me,
when I saw the movie, I saw a wife who
(29:30):
was sick of his ship, right like seriously sick of
it and sick of having this life that she did
not want. She she was like, this was not the
life that I envisioned for myself that I thought we
were going to have together. And I have been disappointed
and let down a lot of times, and now I'm
(29:53):
gonna I am done with this marriage. I do have
like i'm level of love like I felt like she did. Um.
But it's a it's a nice art because I had
empathy for the wife, I had empathy for the husband,
had empathy for the kid. Um. I wasn't at all
(30:14):
mad at the attorney. She's a divorce attorney. She's doing
what divorce attorneys do. She's advocating for her client to
have her kids. But there was a like what else
was she supposed to do? But like, that's the thing
is that there wasn't an advocating for her to have
her kids. It was the advocating for her, the dad
not it was it had to become they were mutually exclusive.
(30:38):
Dad was wanting to stay in New York. So if
mom wants to go to l A, there is no
we're gonna work this out. You get Tuesday through Friday. No, no, no, no.
He would have been willing for the kid to stay
out there for a bit and and then no, no,
I'm saying, and then go back into summer. He was like,
(31:01):
I'm talking about to go back to the summers or
something like they could have found a resolution, and the
divorce attorney was a b I that that wanted, like
she wanted something that the lady didn't even want, and
it escalated. The point is is that you were very
triggered by it and you saw it, you know, from
the perspective of you having to go fight for your
(31:23):
kids and feeling like you had to do unreasonable stuff
correct correct and the fact that this marriage was ending
and it didn't have to. I mean, what do you mean.
I'm saying that they both could have made different choices
and that and that I see from our counsel and
stuff where I'm like, listen, you don't have to go
(31:44):
down this path that you're not always going to be
you know, oh we're so in love KISSI faced all
this stuff right now. But that doesn't mean that you
should get a divorce. That doesn't mean that your relationship
should end. You have to work through these things evolve individually, yeah,
but sometimes people don't evolve together like they don't so sometimes.
(32:06):
But I think that's a lot of people don't fight.
I mean our always says that to health that are healthy,
people can be married to anybody. Correct, correct, So people
are not healthy, then they can't be married to anybody.
And in those situations, I mean, he cheated on her,
like all kinds of stuff, Like at some point somebody's like, listen,
(32:30):
I don't have I ain't got no more no more
room for for you and the way you're living, and
she basically said, I don't want this life anymore. That
is I think that's why most I think that's why
most women are the ones who file for divorce. It's
like or something like that, right, because guys are like,
(32:52):
well we can, We'll just keep working it out my way,
We'll just keep doing things. It's the other way to like,
that's assuming that the woman is right in the situation
and that she's the victim, but she's doing things to
contribute to the to the detriment of the marriage too.
How like what was she doing by being closed off
(33:14):
or being I mean there there's so many things that
happened in relationship. But she she had left her career
in l A, moved to New York where she didn't
want to be became and his theater thing, which was
his dream. So she was a supporter of his dream
and that she kept saying, I want to do my
(33:35):
thing too. He was not receptive to that. So maybe
so there's not a Oh, they didn't have to get divorced.
At some point, somebody's gonna say, but I'm not going
to do Sometimes you have to speak up. Sometimes you
have to know. She did know that sometimes you have
(33:56):
to say things in a way that people can can
hear you because us, because because the way that you
think that somebody should understand, or like you're you're like,
how don't they see this? Because people paint differently, People
paint by by numbers differently. Sometimes I go from one
(34:16):
to one, one hundred, you go from one hundred back
back down to one. You're still gonna get to the
ending solution. Sometimes it's a different way. My point is this,
there are divorces, and I thought it was a really
good movie to show kind of how two good people
(34:36):
and people who were in love, how their relationship can
fall apart. Yeah, it's easy to fall It's easy to
fall apart if you're not doing the work. That's what
I'm saying, right, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not disputing that.
All I'm saying is that you have to try to
put yourself in everybody's position. That that is where I
(34:58):
thought the movie did a pretty a job. I still
think it was told a lot from the male perspective.
Well it was the guy who wrote it correct who
was still from his perspective, but you could you could
see everybody's position and how everybody was affected by the divorce.
So I thought it was good, which sucked like there
was no winners in on that topic. Another thing that
(35:21):
has divided our house in movies is, um, we have
one child who doesn't like to watch movies, and it's
something and I remember Denicia telling me when Devin was
who's now twenty, was younger, she didn't like to watch movies.
With any violence, even if people yelled or like, even
(35:43):
if it were a cartoon or anything, She's like, no,
I don't want to watch. And and the next oldest
daughter she does not like it at all, Like we
like watching Animal Fight Night, all of these things on
Animal Planet? What do boys do on Animal Planet? And
all these things, and she's not with it at all,
(36:06):
which I'm cool with. But I don't understand how she like, like,
can't handle cartoons a lot of times. Uh yeah, I
think sometimes it's like she just is anticipating that it's
going to go down a bad path and she doesn't
want that experience. Um, but yeah, I mean, but you
(36:28):
you've always watched, in my opinion, inappropriate stuff with the
boys at an early age, so they're desensitized. Doesn't bother
them death and carnage. It's okay. She's not okay with it.
Neither is Devin. Neither am I I don't like watching that. Well,
(36:50):
I don't show them death and carnage watching an Iron
Man or something? Are you serious? Nobody dies and army farmers.
I'm just saying, like video games, all of that stuff,
I didn't let them play, like Call of Duty and
(37:10):
all that stuff. No, liar, lie on here. I'm serious.
Note I just let David Plush start playing call Call
of Duty again. He was again again again. You just
told on yourself, told on yourself. See over here, trying
to be like I don't need to look them, well,
I don't. I don't let Kaden play kayden is in
(37:31):
there when No, I don't know he's not. Yes, no
he's not venician. No he's not. Say it, Say it again?
Say it again. You don't scare me? Alright, wait to
wait till we get get out. I'm trying to Maybe
they'll tell you and you'll listen because you don't listen
to me. How could I not listen to you? Tell
(37:55):
it like it is? But you know you got the
loudest person in room. But I will say that it
is important to be sensitive to your kids feelings and
all these things which I have. You know I'm really
good at that. Now, Um, what is the laughing about?
I mean, you're better, You're better. No, you're like overly
(38:18):
sensitive to it. You're like like sensitive to the point.
So I try to be sensitive to their feelings without
letting them make excuses. But Denisia will be like like
because they know that that's a button that they can push, like, oh,
like I'm I'm triggered, I'm bothered, like this was making
me feel a certain way, and I'm like, cut the crap, dude.
(38:38):
So then then you're sending a mixed signal because a
lot of times you tell them, no, tell me how
you feel. I really want to know, use your words,
use this, you know, what's what's going on with you?
And then it's cut the crap. I don't want to
hear it. No, no, no, no, it's only cut the
crap when you're trying to use it as an excuse
to to to to manipulate, like why you didn't do
(39:01):
something or why you shouldn't do it because you're like,
oh I felt some kind of way it was this
to trigger me this, And I'm like, come on, I
think I think you buy those excuses more than I
buy for sure, for sure from practice, like really really,
oh stop, you still gotta wash the dishes? Stop? You
(39:24):
know what? I hope your family comes on here, because
they will they will be like that's true, no, no,
because they because they're not here, in in in this house.
But uh, but now it is time for her favorite well,
her favorite segment is praising me and which which we
(39:45):
do after. But it is time for the segment that
we call two three Say it with your chest, Say
it with your chest, where we get one minute to
get off something that is on our heart and mind
and and said other person cannot respond, cannot have to
be quiet and everything. No, you're up first, No, you're first.
(40:09):
I was up first last time. No I went first
last time. No, go ahead and go go ahead and
go ready and put it on one one minute? Wait, whoa,
I wasn't ready yet. Ready. No, you need to do
(40:31):
you need to organize yourself. How dare you? How dare you? Okay? Go?
I have the same problem that I had last week,
A little bit um my wife, who I love dearly,
who is amazing. She likes to She gets upset when
(40:53):
people don't listen or aren't paying attention to her because
they're on their phone, they're watching TV or doing something else.
And she will come in in the middle of them
doing it and start talking and be like, I was
just talking to you. Why weren't you paying attention? And
I'm like, I was doing something before you came in here.
You do realize that, right, But then the other way around,
(41:16):
she's got nerve to be like, oh wait, hold on,
I'm talking to you. Can you can? Can you put
your phone down? Blah blah blah. But then on well,
on the other hand, if she is on the phone
or if she's doing something, she tries to make every
excuse I was doing something, I'm not paying attention, I
was on my phone and blah blah blah. So she's
a hypocrite in this area. And whoa, whoa are you responding?
(41:45):
Are you responding? Okay? Exactly, that's a response. Can you
follow instructions? You can't? You can? Can you follow the rules?
Can you all the rules? Oh? My god? Saying plans
is not? I was clasha clans is not? I was
(42:08):
doing something like if you over there handling some business,
then then yes, maybe I'll wait into my point. Is
not doing something you can't even follow it in that's ridiculous.
So you know what I'm saying. It's true. He is
(42:28):
on my nerves, y'all. Oh my gosh, are you ready?
Are you ready? Yes? Okay? If I spend I don't
even need a minute. If I spend the time to
organize and I removed things from our house. It is
not okay to put them into the garage indefinitely. Our
(42:49):
garage space is actually something that I would like to
keep organized. So when you let this stuff pile up
because you're not doing your part of the organization, which
is to get rid of that stuff, I organize it,
you get rid of it, but your part is not done.
And then you've made our other garage a a gym
(43:11):
that has stuff hanging from everywhere, and it's messy and
it gives me anxiety. I don't like it. I don't
need any more time. Good. I'm not gonna respond to
that because I'm not supposed to because those are the rules.
Maybe I'll talk about it in the next episode. No,
(43:32):
we both made it up. Oh stop, this is your
whole singment, so you can say what you want to say.
So all right, so now you go first with saying
the great things you love about me, which is the
next seg with the next segment that was created by
Cassandra Riser, who said, say it with your chest. No,
say it with your chest, something good about your spouse.
(43:55):
So I will say something good about you. You've been
out here cooking you and I are cooking doing your
something new, your makeup looks nice. Thank you the end.
I love that about you. What I'm just supposed to
(44:17):
say that I love about you? Okay, go your turn.
So I can't think of anything look a baby like
a little kid. I can't let me think typical to see.
(44:41):
This is why I'm the expert, because I can coachable,
take advice, listen to these things. That's why the lettuce
grow getting that together. The lettuce grows are hide your
poet garden. Yeah, good job. I love that about you.
(45:03):
Thank you guys for listening to the wife versus the expert.
Always rice, there never wife and the expert. And it's
the same person. That's the part that you gotta figure out.
Like happy wife, happy life does not always mean right
right wife. I mean the right wife, but not that
(45:26):
she's always right. She may always get to be right,
but that doesn't mean she's always right. Well everybody says
I'm right. Nobody literally, nobody says literally. Check the comments
they tell you all of the time, because those are
your friends. Those are husbands who are watching it with
(45:47):
their wives, trying to just make husbands who have figured
out life. My dad gave me great advice for right
before we got married. He said, do you want to
be happy or do you want to be right? I
choose I choose happy majority of time. Every now and then,
you gotta be right. When are you right? Anyways? Thank
(46:08):
you guys for listening to the white versus the expert.
We appreciate your time, appreciate your energy. Find me at
George Rice Stir anywhere, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, wherever, at Denisia
Danielle same thing, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, wherever else. UM for
all of your COVID stuff. Make sure you hit her up. UM.
(46:30):
She will get back with you. Just don't call the
phone line. UM. Uh. You guys can send us an
email UM if you want at I'm mad, I am
m A d at, unafraid show dot com um or
anything like that. Piece out. See you guys next episode
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