"50 SHADES OF CAPTAIN HARRISON!" w/ Ross Mathews, Erin Foley and Brendan Smith!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? A production of
I Heart Radio. Oh yeah, Oh my god, I really will.

(00:20):
I really have no idea how much I need your
freaking broke right now, like I give you that road. Hello,
visitor Marine, Welcome to another episode of Will You Accept

(00:41):
This Rose? I am coming to you from my boogie
garage in Los Angeles, California, and boy am I happy
to be here. Oh what a week my my stewage tornado.
It literally concluded Sunday night. I have ripped up every
item of dirt that's in my house, and I finally
have pie that connect to the city it is. And
when I talk about I'm not talking about fantasy suitets.

(01:04):
I'm talking about my yard and guys. When I say
that I need to be in a safe zone, not
dealing with reality, talking about people humping and talking about
the Bible and getting licked by donkeys and going home
and having people carried dildos, be the voice of reason.
When I say that I need to talk about that

(01:25):
with my friends, I really need to talk about that.
I like to consider myself the host of a fun
cocktail party, and I have put together a fun one.
Excuse me. Friendships will be made today. I'm gonna start out.
I'm gonna start out with our rookie of the season.
We have a rookie of this season. This gentleman approached me,

(01:49):
uh this fall, safely distanced, of course, masked, not in
a frightening manner. But I have known this person. I
love this person for I would say a decade. We've
known each other. From I was not crazy. I didn't
even think about it like that. From Chelsea Lately. Um.
I love him so much. We were doing a game
show together this year. He is you know him from

(02:11):
Drag Race. You know him as the host of straight Talk,
you know him as an author. He has a brand
new book that's out like this past year. It's so fun,
both the actual book part and the audio book called
name Drop. That's like the perfect release from the pandems.
And he is the new He is newly like a
regular on a show that I have so many questions about.

(02:34):
And I'll wait till I introduced everybody because I know
they haven't questions about it too. He is now gonna
be working on the daily with My Girl, my teenage
dream Girl Crush, Drew Barrymore Ladies and gentlemen, Rookie of
the Season, Ross Matthew. Yes, hello everybody. Yes, I am
thrilled to be here. Thank you. I'm so honored by
all of that. Applause. Thank you so much. I have
so many things to talk to you about because I

(02:55):
have never truly invested in the season of The Bachelor,
and I made a thow and a promise to you.
Yes here I am now. I have many thoughts. Okay,
I can't wait, all right, okay, also with us I'm
staring at. This is my platonic life partner. This woman
is a brilliant stand up comedian. She has an album
out called Deep Dive That's Fantastic. She hosts a podcast

(03:18):
called Sports Without Balls. She is a writer for One
Day at a Time. She is my platonic life partner
who was one of my favorite people on Earth. Ladies
and gentlemen, Aaron Folly, call me Drew Barrymore for the
rest of this show. Drew. I read your book Little
Girl Lost when I was fourteen, and I also felt

(03:40):
like a little girl lost and I really related to you. Drew. Oh,
you know what. I've been lost for a long time,
and this podcast, the podcast I haven't lived sixties. Um
is I consider myself found when I'm around you Arden'
Oh my god, I want you to know I just
took a cat nap and to wake up and hear

(04:02):
that is the greatest thing that I've ever heard, because
I've gotten very little sleep this week, and so this, truly,
this is my staycation right now. Also with us as
a man who is rock and exciting sideburns, he is uh.
He hosts a Rando Cast, which is a really fun
podcast that I've been on. Rob Benedict has been on.
I think Jerry Trainner has been on. He also is

(04:23):
the co host of a radio show with a met Zappa. Um,
I think it's on serious exam. But he's he is
one of our favorites. He is passionate about The Bachelor.
For many years he read spoilers, but he's agreed to
not read spoilers just so he could come on, Ladies
and gentlemen. Brendan Smath me back from exile. But also,

(04:43):
may I say, three hours ago, just three hours ago,
I finished a quick but exciting conversation with Dion fucking
Warwick for the Randol Cast. Yeah, blanket patches up now,
John Ross Bowie is up next. Heather Graham is after John.

(05:04):
But I just fucking recorded a show with Dion Warwick
and I get to call her anti Dion, no fucking joke,
I can't. I mean, okay, Um, I asked her on
Twitter on Twitter, on like literally on January first. She said, everybody,
what's your New Year's resolution? And I wrote back quickly
within five minutes, I said, my only resolution for one

(05:28):
is for you to be on my podcast. She wrote back,
immediately call my niece or get in touch with my niece.
The niece. The niece ditched me off on her fucking
management company and they set it up. I can't even
because you said a little prayer for her, I said
a little prayer for me. Also with us, of course,

(05:49):
we have Katie Levine and our producer Dr Tanna Anna Banana,
our queen. She needs to be treated like a queen. Okay,
all right, I want to start with Ross. One question,
is Drew Barrymore everything we want her to be? Yeah?
She you know who she reminds me of, Um, Drew Barrymore. Like,
what do I mean by that is that she is
exactly like you would think she would be. She's just

(06:10):
very authentically that person. She's so kind. I don't know
if you saw the SNL sketch with her making fun
of her, she was like, she knows how the camera
operators names and wants to hug them up. That's what
she's like. She's just lovely. I believe you. I can
tell you're not. I can tell you're not saying that
just because we're on record, Like I could see feel
the glow, you know what I mean, Like because sometimes
people ask me about people I've worked with, and I go,

(06:31):
they were great, but really they were like the worst.
But I can tell that. I can tell she's legit
lovely because I would have told you that she wasn't
off when we were, which I've done. Yes, it was
Anti D. How was Anti D? Anti D? She was
goddamn delight dropped in and wonderful and sweet. I only

(06:51):
had twenty minutes with her, but that was more than
enough time to talk about all kinds of stuff. Tune
into the Brando Can's dot com to find out can
I just say about Drew Barry More? I am so
old and fat, and I've lived in Los Angeles for
so long. I've lived in l A for so long.
That I was at her sixteenth birthday party and I
had a piece of cake from Drew Barrymore's official sixteenth

(07:15):
birthday cake in my freezer for years and years. Wow. Wow,
that's amazing. And it was it was that that weird
old nightclub that was used to be called Cosmo on
on the corner of Cosmo and Selma everything. I love
everything that's happening. All right, before we get going, Ross,
give me your overall impression. You said you had thoughts

(07:37):
because you've never watched The Bachelor before. You have like, overall,
are you in or you out? So I'm man and
I'm in hard, which is not the first time I've
said that to a woman, believe it or not. But
I am. And I'll tell you I have resisted The
Bachelor for for a while, and just because it was
the one of the I watched a lot of really
truly bad television, and not watching this made me feel
better about myself. I understand, you understand. I think that's

(07:59):
why a lot of people avoid. And I just felt like, sure,
I spent a lot of time with ninety day and
six pound life, but I'm not a bachelor person. I
feel like I've been wasting um a lot of my
life on not watching the show. I apologize to myself
for waiting this long. It's a hundred and twelfth season
of the Bachelor, and I'm finally here now. It took
a Bachelor with a little melanin to get me, because
you know, you know what I'm into and this, this Bachelor,

(08:21):
this Matt James, both two first names, I take either one.
I love him. I get it. You say he's not
too into Jesus for you? You You can handle it? You can.
I can. I'm a true believer. I'm born again for him.
Do you understand? That's how into it I am. Okay,
before we get going, Aaron, how are you feeling about
Matt James so far as a Bachelor? As a season?

(08:42):
So far? We are three episodes in. How are you feeling?
I'm feeling great. I thought last night's episode was riveting.
I'm more into the show and the women that I
am to him. It's the best looking women they have
ever had. Yeah, they're very nice, like sweet women. I
like them. I like them. I'm not usually I'm more

(09:05):
relaxed when it's the Bachelorette because I get nervous and
protective of women. Um, and not just because I'm gay, um,
but because I'm gay. So I want them to be like,
you know, you want to be like, oh, these are
great examples of women, and they're never they're terrible. These
are younger women by the whole, and I feel like

(09:27):
they're a little more protective of each other. I'm also
wearing a Smoke Show t shirt that our Bachelor historian
Lori had printed up and sent to my house. It
says Smoke Show on it. I texted her last night,
It's the best thing ever. All Right, here we go.
We're starting out. We're starting out. It was like, oh, yes, Brandon,
may may I say, just not not to devalue anyone's experience. Yes,

(09:51):
as a longtime viewer of the Bachelor Bachelor franchise and
the producer of The Bachelor Bachelorette Silver Lake. No, I'm livid.
I'm angry. So I'm gonna I'm gonna try to be
a nice little honey badger right now. Why are you mad?
Why are you mad? I'm livid. I'm livid. I'm because

(10:11):
I'm seeing old production beats. I'm seeing alright, from old shows,
and so just from my pure production stand fork. From
a pure production standpoint, you lazy motherfucker's that's all you're
gonna say to the riting staff franchise. Al Right, so
when we get when we get two things that you've seen,

(10:34):
because I was like, for us, I didn't watch until
five years ago, because I was like, I have a life.
I watched Top Model. I'm busy watching the Swan. Hello,
ree watching the Swan. I don't watch the Bachelor. So
I was also like, Russell, I don't have as many
years under my belt as you do. So when we
get to the retreads, you let us know as our

(10:54):
this episode's historian. Okay, all right, we're starting out at
the end of last week. Sarah uh, Sarah, who just
doesn't remind her if you guys have a strange taste
in your mouth from last night, just one week ago.
She was our little angel. Okay, she was our sweet
little angel in the hot tub, the way she articulated
her terrible story with her family so beautifully, and she

(11:15):
just was so moving. I actually teared up listening to
her story. And here we are. But then it was
the first glimmer towards the end. She already has a rose.
We're in the rose ceremony. We're down to like four roses,
and girlfriend who has a rose causes some drama, starts
to black out and needs to be tended to buy
Anna's number one favorite named Brie, and they get taken up.

(11:39):
So she's Sarah's blacking out and they're like, do you
need fresh air, decent flesh air. She's like yes, it's
just been really hard. And then um, So then the
other girls are kind of pissed but trying to be sweet,
saying they've been talking monks themselves, like she doesn't know
she's cut out for this. And then somebody was like,
she already has a rose, and I thought, I'm kind
of with that person, but like okay, and then so

(11:59):
he put this coat around her shoulders and a protective
gesture and um, and I kept thinking, she looks like
Alexis from Ship's Creek. All right, let's talk about that move.
Who wants to start? I said, Aaron fully take it
for all time's sake. This move, the fainting move, had
the rose. What did you think, my friend? You know what?
I was like, okay with the fainting, you know, I

(12:21):
was like, well, maybe she's just a delicate flower and
they feed him up with booze. And we've all seen
this before. We haven't seen a faint in a while,
so it's been kind of fun. I'm a fainter, so
I can sympathize. So I gave her the faint. I
gave her the faint and then um, and then she
pulled off seventeen more things in thirty five seconds. And
I couldn't be I would wanted to jump through the screen,

(12:42):
get the car, open the door, get her out, keep
keep the ship moving. Um. But yeah, I gave I
was like, okay, I guess you know she's light headed.
That happens, and then it just it was like a
Lance Armstrong fall from Grace Ross. How did you feel
at the faint moment? Well, okay, it's artist. It's a
really great move. Um. I have a few thoughts, um Sarah.

(13:03):
I know which one she is because she was a
reporter in Palm Springs, where I'm like based, you know, uh,
and so of course I know who I know of her.
The rest of them, I just want to say, I
sort of need to group them in in terms of
like lip plumpness, you know. So I think she's like
a four out of five on the injection three and

(13:24):
a half. I'll give her three and a half three
and a half. Um. I, so she's she's on my
radar in terms of I think they had a strong
connection from the get um. I did think the faint
was going to cause drama with the other girls, which
I'm finding out is the best part of this show. Okay, yes, okay, Brendan.
Is this part of the history of the Bachelor. We've

(13:45):
seen this move right off the bat, right off the bat,
right off the bat, whether it's Bachelor Australia, that it's
Bachelor Thailand, I've seen that. You know the deal. It's
such a go to move. Aaron said it. They're all
liquored up, they're all boozed up. They've all been drinking

(14:05):
and swarmed by fucking producers who put little things in
there in their ear and pushed them this way and
pushed them that way. It's such a go to move.
I can't do it anymore. Bachelor people, Please let this
boy right on your show because I'll eliminate the fainting. Okay,
would you what would you want instead of faintings, blosive

(14:27):
diarrheas like a staff writer on this season's Bachelor. How
would you have had how would you have given Sarah
a disruption without it being a faint? What would you
have scripted in? Um, you know, just put her in
a fucking make America Great Again hat and launched her
into the launcher, into the thought tail party. Let's let's

(14:48):
make it up villain. Okay, okay, okay, love wardrobe. It
starts in wardrobe. Here, Sarah, Sarah, here's here's a T
shirt with a wolf riding a bald eagle. I think
you look really great. And again, that's a that's a

(15:09):
cheap It's not gonna cost you much, but you're gonna
get a lot of drama for your ten dollar T shirt. Okay.
So then Victoria, who again I didn't see so many
platfoints coming. I didn't find Victor, didn't he At the
end of last week, Victoria being the entertaining talking head
through like she's people. The roles are not set yet, Okay.
So episode one we had Katie as the dildo girl.

(15:32):
She seems she and Victoria were vying for villain. Last
week dildo Girl got like pounded into silence and like
the Victoria full out villain she's the queen. And then
know this week the Dildo Girl rides high as like
miss Manners, and Victoria tends into kind of the fun
Janine Garoff flow from a nineties movie talking and and

(15:55):
so she's like kind of like polit together and don't faint.
This is the Battler, It's not the Sarah Shaw and
I thought fair enough, you know, and you know she
wanted to say, it's the Victoria Show. There was like
I was just waiting for her to complete that sentence. Tanna, Tanna,
what did you think of all of these? Uh uh

(16:16):
you know this the cocktail party out of the game. Um,
I I'm surprised. I found um Victoria funny again, which
I didn't want to. I was like, I'm falling for
her again. She's a good cult leader. She's turned you.
I was like, oh no in the middle of the night.
Yeah yeah, And um, I like Katie as well. I
thought Katie was a good balance to Victorias, like not

(16:39):
coming in too hot, but still like righteously upset about
the situation. And then yes, Aaron, sorry, I was just
gonna say when the when the Dildo Lady comes full
circle and says stay classy, to everyone. I mean, this
is what I just keep coming back when classy, when
we get Chris Harrison a rod, it really gave us

(17:01):
everything we needed. Roth Matthews, Um so okay, um our
thin lipped queen, I bow right, Yeah, a victor. I
know her name because she I think she's the only
one whose name I know. I am a big fan
of hers. I feel like I'd be bored a board
a little bit if she weren't there. I questioned this though.
I mean at first I thought she was just staying

(17:22):
for the drama, like the producers that made him keep her.
I don't think there's a big charner. And then I
realized I don't. I don't care, and I'm wondering, have
we ever seen a villain um make us love them
like she has? Because I'm with you, dr, I I
was not. I was kind of over her a little bit.
I mean I wanted to hate her, but then I
started thinking of her as the voice of reason. Yes,

(17:44):
we ever had a villain sort of make this kind
of story arc? Before? Let's ask our historian Brendan, have
we seen this a villain make the story arc? Well?
You can make the argument that Demi at one point
was a bit of a villain. And now America loves Demi.
I mean it can up ross. Demi was a fun
one who came on and called somebody cancer. She called

(18:05):
somebody cancer. Everywhere they cancer. They were being kind of
they were like half they were like spreading it. They
were like like a mole that made you nervous. You know,
they haven't got to the doctor yet, and but you've
been googling web m d. And then here's what's fun
about her. Last year she went on Bachelor Paradise, which
we'll we'll get you hooked on that, but did you

(18:27):
say that it's not so? But she ended up she
was like falling from this cute guy named Derek. They
were like totally in love. And then this like her
friend appeared and she this woman came and she got
engaged to a woman in Mexico for the first Yes, okay,
so that was a that was a journey for a villain.
I have a question just very quickly with Queen Victoria.

(18:48):
Is is her she's so shiny all the time? Is
that on purpose? I noticed there's some glitter there, but
that's a lot of shine, and it's so we were discussing.
We were discussing her I issue and her because she
had like a swollen eye and she had I think
she's drunk a lot of the time. I think she's
very drunk. We were thinking wondering if maybe she was

(19:09):
on pills. And we actually asked last week about what
was wrong with her eye because they were so We
actually had a listener email in, who's an an optometrist?
Victorious I diagnosed? Oh my god, Hello Art and Katie, Anna,
and will you accept this Rose family, I'm an optometrist.
And let me just tell you. When my love of eyes,

(19:29):
the Bachelor, comedy, and this podcast all came together to
discuss Victoria's eyes on the Sweets episode, my heart practically exploded.
Based on my years of optometry school and clinical practice,
here's my take on it. Confirmed. Loqueen has a big
old sty. Katie and Katie get out the microphone. It

(19:53):
was a sty. Every one Sunday was wrong. They're like
it was it was a sty. You're You're fearless leader
knows I can admit when I'm wrong about so many things,
and this is one of them. Okay, Katie, Okay, ready confirmed, Katie,
I was wrong. You were right all sty on her
lower left eyelid. It was semi noticeable on week two's episode,

(20:17):
but it's fully raging on the sneak peak for week three.
A sty is a clogged oil glance, so maybe she's oil. Hello,
she needs a dry shampoo. I mean, I'm not judging her,
but I would love to she Also, you can tell
she's the type of woman who like doesn't wash her
face and take off her makeup before she goes to bed,
which you know she like has all this makeup on,
and then it's just of course she's gonna get a

(20:37):
sty and it's going to exacerbate it. She probably got
like lash extensions and we'll put fake lashes on and
wants to get two days out of them. These can
be caused by stress and poor lid hygiene, like getting
drunk and passing out in your makeup on the couch
and your big fur coat. Someone really should be calling
the medics to give Queen Victoria a round of oral
anibiotics where I'm compresses and potentially a combination steroid antibiotic

(21:01):
eye drop. Oh my god, I also agree with Arden.
Excuse me, thank you that Victoria's eyes general appearance in
week two is more alcohol related. Um, and there we go.
So yes, Brendan, I saw your hand up, Auntie, Auntie
Dion's nephew, I saw your hand up. I'm just gonna
say this about Victoria. God bless her. You know, I

(21:23):
think that every contestant on all these shows, all the
girls work at restaurants on Lau Sianaga. You know, they're
all hostesses, hot hostesses at restaurants in Beverly Hills. Victoria
definitely does improv for a troop in the valley like
a little black box theater on Magnolia and Hollywood Way.
Do you know what I'm saying. She doesn't have UCB

(21:45):
on her resume, but somewhere in there we're gonna find out.
Geez comedy sports, she's worst side connection, capable of running
a herald team. Where does she rank in terms of
the like characters on the show. It's too early to know.
It's too early to know. Ross As as a new viewer,

(22:08):
here's what here's what she's missing For the villain. Normally
the villain is hot. Okay, so that's what makes the
villain extra annoying. That is, generally the bachelor wants to
get at it with the villain. The Bachelor wants to
take the villain to honeymoon suitets or the home whatever

(22:30):
and that, and that the other women hate that he
wants to get into the bones one of the villain.
So she's lacking that. Brendan, did I get it correct
from you? You could be the showrunner of the Bachelor
at this point. It is that is cannon. It is
cannon for the show because the truth is and I
say this as a cis male, as some young people

(22:50):
would call me. That's men. Well, men will put up
with X amount of crazy for why amount of hot.
And all of the villains have gone past week six,
some into week seven, some of the week eights. So
I have a question, could Queen Victoria make it that long?
Because I worry about this show without well, I would

(23:12):
say this. I think that Queen Victoria was brought on
to be chuffa and that is the group of women
that you never find anything about where chuff or chum
like throwing like bits of fish into the water for sharks,
like the women who could just be eliminated immediately. Okay, okay.
I think that her personality. I think that she laid

(23:33):
low and her personality popped through a little bit, and
it's gonna save her. It's gonna keep her around for
a few more weeks. I don't think she lasts long. Okay,
to keep her just in the corner though, Just keep
doing running commentary through the rest of the season, if
we could, all right, Aaron Foley, any final thoughts before
I keep going, um, no, you're nailing it. Okay, great,

(23:53):
so here we go. So then she goes Victoria is
talking about um. So then she goes back to mary Land,
who she was fighting with, her roommate from last week,
who we literally saw nothing about, like there was she
It was just that she happened to share a room
with Victoria, who needed to sleep in her fur color
and she said, Maryland definitely needs to go home tonight.
I would be around her toxic energy. I think she's fake,

(24:15):
and I think she's manipulative. Um Maryland, manipulative, toxicity, Jesture's queen, victory, positivity, realness,
Matt's heart. That actually happened. Aaron fully thoughts on that.
Did you like her her writing? Would you how would
that do in the one day at a time writer's room? Oh?

(24:37):
You know that would at least make it to the
first draft. Um, I have to say, I'm so happy
with this like twenty four hour transformation of Queen Victoria
because I was just like, okay, I can I'll give
her another week. Got to keep her around the whole thing.
I've watched so many seasons. But now I'm like, I'm
with Ross. I'm like, oh, we gotta keep her around.

(24:59):
We need her. They're too nice. Everyone's fantasy suite adjacent,
you know what I mean, because we got it. We
and that's why they're bringing in, you know, four new
escorts because she goes. Then we're like screwed. I agree
with you, because these these young ladies are actually grew
up like worrying about people's feelings, and they say stuff
like that really triggers me, Like this is a sensitive

(25:20):
group that seems to be polite to each other so far.
But at the Deep Green when they really went at
it with Sarah, yeah we'll get there. Even then, I
was like, yeah, they were a lot. So then I
have to say Victoria Maryland, Maryland got eliminated. Um, I
was surprised. Anna, like that woman that we when we
did our draft picks, the woman with the lips with
the kid with the like we want to suck my balls, lady.

(25:43):
She got a lot of people that had no like
they got no airtime. There's a lot of stunning women
on this and he's only interested in the down to
earth ones except for the one that Sarah seemed down
to earth. She was in sheep's clothing, down to earth.
She you tricked us, okay so um so then um so.

(26:04):
Then Victoria says, and then she looked locks in on Sarah.
She goes, Sarah's worse than Maryland. She's all that fake pitches.
Can all go home, go home, go home, skip off,
fake bitches. Amazing. And then Chris Harrison comes in and
they're all sitting around, and they're sitting around the nemicollon

(26:26):
Pennsylvania would resort, and he's like, Matt has problems getting
out of his comfort zone. So this week is all
about making Matt uncomfortable, especially on the group day. The
perfect letter, my book, my novel, and um And then
so he does the first group date and we wander in.

(26:48):
There's half of the ladies and there's gonna be a
big group audience, which, of course, because of COVID, is
just all the other women and any pas that are there,
and uh he walks in and now Ross, you don't
realize this woman was on who we adore, But this
person who was reading the erotica was the most famous
virgin in the franchise. Oh I didn't know that. Okay,
so she But she's now like, happily married, adorable, getting

(27:11):
at it with her cute husband. She's reading erotica that
turns out to be written by Chris Harrison. It was
a passionate, erotic sexy Brendan Smith. What did you think
about the fact that he wrote in Nicholas Sparks book
Filled with Erotica? You and I have known each other
for a long time. What do you think? The answer
to that is, how did I feel about Chris Harrison

(27:34):
having a book about erotica? Made me so mad? Made
me so mad? I would much rather buy Kaylee mckinnee
He's new memoir Fighting for Freedom, My Time in the
and the White House. Then fucking Chris Harrison writing a
book about erotica? Are you kidding me? Ladies News? You know,

(27:59):
I thought maybe it would be in a book that's
been out for a while. I don't think they were
in that moment. Here's what I want to say. And unfortunately,
because I'm so deep into the cult now or US
during the pandemic, they didn't air one of their franchises.
They only did Bachelor and Bachelor that they didn't do
they didn't do Paradise. So then they filled in because
they sold airtime. They filled in with twelve greatest of

(28:21):
all time Bachelor Goat episodes that filmed from the like
it looked like the lobby of the Ramada in at
Chris Harrison's house, but it was like his study they made.
That's his son that was clearly did not want to
be there. Held captive, was like being the cameraman and
over his shoulder. The only like piece of art was
we noticed was this book that was propped up and

(28:43):
it said it was like a Western cover and it
said the perfect letter. And then we zeroed in and
realized it was by Chris Harrison. And we actually had
a fan by us an e book version of it,
and um so I know because I sent a copy
to Jerry Trainer. It's out of print. There's no new cars,
so this has been out for a while now, like

(29:05):
really pushing it now, he's a producer. I don't know
if he's a new producer on the show, but like
it's all about the perfect letter and it's not in print.
And I noticed they didn't show a picture of the
cover because I thought I'd like to read that. That
sounds funny, um, but you should. It was like we
we read the first chapter and it was like a

(29:27):
woman that I was about to like get get at
it with her boss because now she's been she'd been
moved to in a different assignment, so now they could
do it. But it was like it just felt it
felt not of how's that when we were reading it,
I'm like, this feels a little dated as far as
like getting at it with your boss in an okay way.
Aeron Foley, well, like why you know like he he

(29:51):
has he has marvelous lee phoned it in for sixty
five years. He wakes out of bed, wipes the ok
off his nose, presents the ladies, and then does whatever
he needs to do. So so why put yourself out
there where you could be I mean, like that is
a risky, like it's he's not. I guess that's that's

(30:16):
like a real risk for me. That's a risk for
someone that can write let alone, like he's pumping out
like some shitty pulp fiction. He feels proud of it too,
which made like he feels extra proud of it, which
may feel like he actually wrote it. Is my theory, Brendan,
I saw your hand up talked to us. Brendan's meth.
He's too rich to care. That's the bottom line right
now with Chris Harrison too rich to care. Ros Matthews.

(30:37):
You know, I'm surprise. I'm surprised. I came into this.
You know, I thinking Chris Harrison's the host. I know
that he hosts the Rose thing. After the thing when
the interviews, does he get more to do down the line,
because to me, I think they shoot him out. I
think he comes and sets high and then I think
they shoot him saying goodbye. And I don't think he's
sitting there for the whole nineteen hours backstage. You know,
I think they shoot him like this is the last Rose.

(30:58):
All right, that's a wrap on Chris good night. Yeah. Well,
I was just gonna say for us, like this has
been the running joke for so long, like he has
the best job, best job, Like, how do I get
that job? I'd like that job. It's like, my two
top jobs would be Chris Harrison where you just wake
up and you go, good luck out there, are you ready?
And then you can sleep for the next six months,

(31:20):
our first base coach in baseball. I would hire you
for both of those. Dr Banana, you um, I just
want to give some insight. I've been d m ng
on Twitter with a former Bachelor intern from Beckas season
and she says that Chris Harrison just sits in the
control room the whole time and then they just like
bring him out for when they need him to do,

(31:40):
but he stays there. He doesn't go back to his house.
He stays just stays in the control room the whole time.
So he's watching, alright, that's just watching, keeping an eye
on everything. Believe it, what's going on. I don't believe it, alright,
I'd like to believe it. I choose to believe it.
I want to believe it. I feel like, you know,
maybe Dr Bandona, you can do a little research for us.

(32:00):
I in my brain, he hasn't been a producer the
whole time. I feel like he's a newer producer and
maybe now that he's a producer, maybe he's more infested.
I don't know. I don't even know, but I bet
since seeds and three he's been a producer. That's a
standard deal. You're right, I do, Miss Ellen, I miss
Elon Katie, I I see you not and get out
of Miss Katie. No, Chris has been like an executive
producer on it at least for like a while now.

(32:22):
But I do wonder when Ellen left did he get
more involved? You know what I mean? The greatest Bachelor
producer ever Elon um He Elon Musk. Oh my god,
he was great. He was here done Tesla. The fucking
devil is Elon Gayla. But he was a good producer.

(32:44):
He was a great producer. But because to be a
good producer on the Bachelor Bachelort, you got to think evil,
Yeah for sure. Okay, so here we are and we're
in the erotica and so basically they have to write erotica.
I addict. I grew up to New England. If if if,
I mean, would you guys feel somebody that you were

(33:06):
attracted to and there's like thirty other people who are
competing against and you have to write out somebody that
you may have never even had a conversation with okay,
and you have to seem sexy enough to be like
be given a rose. This is not a time I
would have really been uncomfortable doing this. It would it
would any Okay, Brendan, your first how would you feel
doing this? Twice in my life I've been broken up

(33:28):
with because the words spock was used uh in the
and the breakup deal. I am Irish Catholic. I do
not work blue. I might, I might say the F
word now and then, but I the erotica it is
so beyond out of my custom zone that I would

(33:48):
probably have to throw a tantrum and fight the producers
back back. You know, if we're shooting The Bachelorette silver
Lake or The Bachelor silver Lake and they're coming to
me and they're going, Brendan, we just need you to listen.
These ladies read erotica to you on the patio of
Cafe Stella. I would be like, no, I'm fighting all
of you right now, and I'm gonna win because I'm
the baddest motherfucker here and you're all going down. Brandon

(34:11):
wants to do people for new listeners who don't know
Brendan's pitch. He wants to do one that has like
everybody with tattoos, like people that are an aspiring drummers,
aspiring rock. He wants the aspiring sort of the dirtier
version of the Bachelors Bachelor's Silver, like where you have
to go like capture a coyote cub in Griffith Park
and bring it back to him. As one of the tasks, Aaron,

(34:34):
could you write erotica and read it to a woman
in public? Um? Do you do? You remember Brian Cooks
um erotica fan fiction in our comedy festivals. So I
said yes to one of them, and you have to
write like an erotica version of an existing I did
that show. I did Hannaica. What was the Kristen Bell

(34:56):
Veronica Mars? So I picked Veronica Mars out of like
a hat and I had a right backstage and it
was the worst moment of my life. I have I
have what I call like Catholic moments. I'm not Catholic anymore.
I gave it up because I wanted to be happy.
But um, I have moments of just pure pure I

(35:19):
hear you Brandon Catholicism, and I wouldn't. I could be
in Matt's position. I could hear it, because I'd be like,
I want to bang that one. I want to bang
that one. But I told deliver it? Would I would
I take I'd be like I've had a good run
me too. I couldn't hear it, and I was impressed
that these these young women were like in touch enough

(35:40):
to go, well, you have to articulate it so you
know what you want. I'm like, I I am not
of that. I was not raised like that. I am not.
I wish I was just like ross. Could you if
you yes, yes, I could speak confluently. I could do it.
I would, I would absolutely, Yeah, Yeah, my mind can
go that. I have never been a whore, but I

(36:00):
thought about being. But you could. You could. Actually I've
thought it, but you could. Thought you could think it?
Right it I do it without shame, without shame. I
could do it. But I wouldn't do it if I
were one of them, because you have to think about
who James Matt. Matt James is and he is a
religious man who wants a lady right, so she's got

(36:21):
I think if you're playing the game to win his heart,
you've got to sort of insinuate that were the door
to shut and you two are alone, you would whore out,
but you wouldn't, but you'd be able to meet Grandma
and his rocker mom and they would have no idea
like breed did that? Breed did the like? Remember when
you tip me over doing doughnuts on the a TV
the mud wink wink. That was good. But she's not

(36:43):
the one for him, you don't think? So, No, I
know who's going to pick? Okay, did you read or no?
Does your guest? No? I would never Who do you think?
Who do you think he's going to pick? The girl?
Who is? Who is dead? Oh? Abigail at Abigail, that's
to me the one that he's going to pick. Well,
and I will say generally they do it where they

(37:04):
edit you strong at the beginning if you win, and
then they stopped airing you. So you think, oh Abigail
went away and then you go weird Abigail Goo. I
guess it's not hers because she's the winner. Tanna, could
you write erotica and read it to Mett James? I
mean I would like to try. I thought it was
pretty fun to watch he was really let loose. I
was like, maybe maybe I'll write erotica one day, Okay,

(37:27):
all right, it seems like it would be fun and
like say stuff like normally that you know, if you
started talking like about really horny stuff in public, people
would be like, you know, what are you doing? But
it's like under the guys of erotica, you're like, I'm
trying something I didn't. I did not expect. I thought

(37:48):
Victorious was funny when he orgas into screams yes, queen,
that was so funny. Now it was amazing. I think
it was amazing all the all. When they bleeped out
stuff I had, I felt like I had tears pouring
down my face. I was so funny, I was dying laughing.
The whole thing was so entertaining. It was a great day.
And I have to say that women all looked like

(38:09):
they had a blast. And Victoria got super dirty, like
Victoria is saying and she she actually said, and she
pushed him onto his back so she could fuck him.
And it was like we what, Like it was crazy.
He shows up in his capre jeans and he's like,
she dropped her purse by the handrail. I kissed the

(38:29):
area above her blazer and her hair a lot. I'm like,
he's almost too hot to be like fun in the
sack because he's too handsome, right, he'd be fine. I
think he'd be fun, do Yeah, I really do. Okay, Katie,
what I know Katie likes Katie. First of all, could
you read the Evertica and b do you think Matt
James would be fun in the sap? Yeah? I would

(38:50):
totally write it and read it and have fun. But
I mean, like I think I would have. I don't
think I would have gone like as overboard as Victoria,
but like you know, I would have done it and
just been like really silly about it, you know, um
for you. But I think his was boring, Like it
made me think that he's only ever had missionary I mean,
and like that's it, Like that's all he's done. He see,

(39:12):
he in his turtlenecks seemed into it. Oh, he looked excited.
But I don't know if he like he even needs
I think if like, oh, he had a woman that
was like what was more like, hey, let's try new things,
he might be into it. But he seemed a little
more reserved. Yeah, he seemed so Anna was like she
pulls down the lace of her bra and the fantasy

(39:33):
suitet um. It was like, um, he needs more than
one hand like it was I was like wow, Like
I was like, oh, here we go, like the long
thick legs. She yearned for more, And I'm thinking ABC's
airing this like oh my god, oh my god. I
I don't think he would be I don't. Yeah, I

(39:54):
agree with Katie. I don't think he would be adventurous
in any way. To me, he's obviously very very nice,
like stand up guy. Yeah, boring to me, like he's
you know what it is overall, I just feel like
he's not comfortable in his own skin. Like to me,
it's like he needs to Like I don't. I don't know.

(40:15):
I just feel like he's trying to figure it out.
It's so in the and it's just I come back
to the eyes open kissing. I can't. I can't get older.
Every time he goes to kiss his mouth it gets
gigantically large and the eyes open and keep tweeting up
I've missed that, Katie's next. It's like I was just
talking to my mom about this today actually now, because

(40:37):
he seems really nervous and like at first, I was like, oh,
he's boring. But then I was like, is he just
like nervous and awkward? And I was like, you know,
at first, I was like excited that it was somebody
knew that hasn't been on the franchise before. But now
I'm like, maybe that's not that good of a thing,
because when you have people who are on the season before,
they already know how this all works. They're used to
being on camera, they're used to the camera people following

(40:58):
them around, and maybe that actually lets them loosen up
a little bit. And he seems really awkward, but he
still kind of seems boring to me, to be honest,
I think. I mean maybe part of it too is
what he said in the beginning, which is legitimate, which
is that he is the first black Bachelor, and he
knows he's going to be under a microscope, and like
how hard they were on Rachel lindsay that that there's

(41:20):
that extra added pressure that he's never been on camera,
and that pressure Brendan, I saw your hand being waved earlier. Um,
At the risk of being the curmudgeon of the show,
which obviously I am, I will just say this that
he seems like a lovely fellow He has the personality
of a baked potato, was sour cream, chives, but or

(41:40):
anything at it. On top of it, Ladies, I am
sorry to say I think all he does is laying
his back. You gotta do a lot of the work
get on top. He might be able to stay erect
for quite some time. He obviously is ripped like Jesus. Um.
But there is no edge to this gentleman whatsoever. He's
never walked into a building marked pleasure chest or something

(42:02):
like that. He has never he has never stayed up
until six o'clock in the morning snorting coke and watching um,
you know, porn tube. However, um, I am sure he
would be amazing father, great with kids, and someone that
you could take to your mother's uh seventy birthday party. Yeah,
and you could. You could teach him, you know. And

(42:24):
I'm like, I'm sort of in love with him. I
appreciate the fact that he's new and nervous because I'm
new and nervous as well. I also want to give
a shout out to the producer who who pitched this
segment of them reading um erotica. Really funny and it worked,
unlike last week when the bridle. They were all running
through the woods with throwing paint. That made no sense.
I don't understand who won, or how they want or

(42:44):
what happened. But this I thought was a great segment
because it was hilarious and the girls needed a moment
to bond. Yes, yes, Brendan, just real quickly. Yes, great
segment in the vacuum and Ross you're new, so you're
having this wonderful and credible experience. Going back to my
original point about lazy show running, it's a pitch from

(43:05):
every franchise and getting up and performing Eroica is the Twitter,
but it's a great twis getting up and performing, up
and reading something you wrote, Fay, we're project run with
there's only so many design challenges. I'm with you on that. Yes,
have they ever done pandemic? So it's like you can't

(43:26):
go anywhere you're not in a helicopter, So in a pandemic,
you've got to do what you got to do. You're
on the property of this estate. I think they I
give him a ten out of ten. I'm with Ross.
I think this was really fun and I think it's
rare that you actually see everybody having a blast. Who's
competing against and the girls enjoyed it. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes yes, But I'm just saying, shake it up. Storm

(43:47):
the Pennsylvania Capital. You can get inside first. Okay, here
we go to Victoria goes. Here's the King and Queen
were celebrating the royal engagement. And he kissed her. Then
he smacked her ass really hard, and I was like,
oh okay, um he pulled her hair and she managed
to plead, orgasm is real, never fake like his girls

(44:09):
from his past loved it. Um, he screamed, yes, clean.
It was brilliant. I thought hers was a chef's kiss,
perfect piece of literature. I couldn't. I did not see
myself falling for her. So that overall, we say, that
was fun. All Right, we're gonna take a quick break
and we'll come right back. But the bone zone. Let's

(44:35):
get in the bone zone, guys. So we're back, and
Sarah has been in the audience the whole time, and
this is where we start to see like, oh, okay,
she's freaking out, she's spinning out. She she hasn't realized
like what she signed up for, and she's like wow,
like just hearing them reading those words, it was like

(44:57):
a knife through my heart, like you know, like putting
salt on my wounds. I went on my dream date
and now like I feel like dirty watching that, Like
it's just extra hard for me. It's just really hard
for me because I had the date with her. Aaron Foley,
what are your I mean? And she starts spinning out
and this is this is one this is behavior one

(45:18):
week out of Fantasy suits. When you go I've fallen
for him'll be like episode ten, I don't give it,
So I'll give you that moment in episode ten, episode two,
I was like, get the hook. She's out at that
time when she started talking about that, I was like, nope,
this is a fun sponge. You know, he's gonna be

(45:38):
like the amount of work he's going to have to do.
Why can't he see that? That's what I don't understand
that he might be a nice little people pleaser. Some
people love to tend to a bird with a broken wing. Yes,
but he's going to have a hard time this season
because if he's doing that week two with that woman
who's clearly her head could probably spin all the way around.

(46:01):
He's he's he's there's no boundaries. He's gonna want to
people please every single time I'm telling you, it's gonna
get it's gonna get him. And she's also seeing every
time she's delicate, she gets extra. It works. It works. Yeah,
she's not gonna only have a hard season. He's gonna
have a hard life if that's when he's drawn to

(46:21):
by the way he is, he's feeding into it. And I,
you know, I wanted to root for that, Sarah, because
like I afore mentioned Palm Springs News local News, I
want to root right, But when she started sort of
sit telling everybody like you don't understand, like this is
happening to me, this is all It is so infuriating
that kind of that kind of behavior, right, not even
that it was a group date she wasn't on, but
that she just doesn't think anyone else can understand even

(46:42):
though they're all going through the exact same thing. This
girl needs to do a little self reflection. I a
gretty ross. You want to know what my college roommate
said to me, What I'm not like you, Arden, I
have a lot of love to give flash good people
say things, And yes, Brendan, I was gonna say the

(47:05):
thing I remember last night at this moment when she's
she's really starting to spiral. I got very nervous because
in the past a lot of bachelor's have failed to
recognize the crazy if. There have been many situations where
you've had twenty women saying, dude, she's crazy, get her
out of here, and it doesn't happen. So last night

(47:26):
I was really really worried at this point that we
were dealing with that same thing again, and we're just
going to have the endless beats of I get you.
I understand It'll be okay, twenty women saying she's the
problem in the house. Do you know what I'm saying?
It's like Luke and Hannah. Okay, okay, I'm gonna keep
thanks clipping. So then Rachel, who's very pretty and I

(47:48):
don't fully trust, but um, she was like, oh, I
wasn't that. I'm sorry, I wasn't that, Like, Um, she
she's a stunner, Like I wasn't that, Like I was
a little bit shy and holding back. He said, no, No,
you really came through in that story. She's like, gosh,
I haven't. She's really good at being like god like,
I also hold back, but like and he's like me too,

(48:08):
me too. They have this sort of me too, me
too thing, and she's like, I haven't felt this way
so quickly, Like I'm just happy I'm here. Like they
are really attracted to to each other, and I don't
fully buy her. And I think she's going to make
it to fantasy streets. I think she's top three. Um, Ross,
how do you feel about Rachel? Well, I'm confused. Rachel again,

(48:29):
I saw it, but who is she? She's like super sexy,
she's got a strong eyebrow. And what they do together? Nothing?
Have they had a one on one brunette. She's really young.
She was sitting she got the date Rose, didn't she?
She got the date rolls, she got the date roles,
whether the donkeys, no date Rose? The group date at night? Um?

(48:54):
I know, I was so caught up with Sarah that
I can't even remember who she was? Can I google her?
Much like a google? Old? Um? Queen Victoria and Maryland
fight right after it happened to can will you pull
up a photo of Rachel and then you can just
hold it up to this. Okay, So I'm gonna keep
plugging along. So then Bree. So then Bree comes out
and bree goes did you like it? I had the

(49:14):
illusion of the date um and uh, all the girls
were sort of floating with him. Meanwhile, back at the hotel,
the date card comes out and Sarah is so upset
that she doesn't come down from her room and the
date card comes out, which is sort of the beginning,
which is such a bold move to do. I mean,
that's such a power move. Be like, I'm gonna hold
my power. Oh now I remember Rachel, It's not gonna happen.

(49:37):
I don't see that happening. I think he wants to
make out with her, but I don't think she's gonna win. No.
But okay, when Sarah stayed upstairs, can you believe that
that is like pouring ghastly and on what's going on downstairs.
Right by avoiding it, it just burns. It gets bigger
and bigger and bigger. The only person who's pulled moves
like that was another villain from the past, which was Karin,
who used to take naps the Rose ceremonies. Like this

(49:58):
move hasn't been hilarious. There's something about Karin that I
was like, I was almost cheering for her, and this
one I was not cheering for I stay up, barricade
yourself like just so he goes okay, So he's there
chatting so she's not coming down for the rosecard and um.
And then so he's chatting with dildo girl Katie, who

(50:21):
everybody thinks she looks like Vanessa Bear and um. And
he's like. She was like, you know what Anna Paquin
or not Anna Peck when Anna Kendrick, I think Anna Kendrick. Yes,
a good comb of Anna Kendrick meets Vanessa Bear equals Katie.
So that so so dilddo girl is like you know what,
that was so great. I mean that's what being vulnerable
is all about. And he's like, yeah, yeah, that's attractive.

(50:41):
And then in stumbles Sarah in her puffer coat or
her gown or dressed. She was like can me talk
and um and and all the girls are like wait
what And Victoria is like, yeah, I'll interrupt maybe, like
but I want to interrupt on a group day like
with like she can't step outside on another date like that.
She Victoria had rules about which she'll interrupt, like my

(51:03):
own date, I'll interrupt you, but I won't interrupt on
your other day. So then she was like, look, it
was just really hard for me to process, Like it
was hard for me to watch it was super sexual.
It's been hard, Like this is harder than I expected.
And then so then um, Katie, all the girls are like,
go back, go back, go back, go interrupt, go interrupt.
So Katie stumbles back and she's like, hey, you've had

(51:23):
your time. She's like, I'll bring him back. I'll bring
him back in five minutes. She's like, can you give
me two and then she stands right there as their
processing and then um, and then she goes, I'm gonna
get him back on time for the group tape, and
she goes, you walk me out like when Katie came
back again, when you walk me out, and then she
heard them like tongue kissing behind the pier one screen

(51:46):
that's right behind and then she goes, I'm gonna go apologize,
and she's like, hey, guys, I just wanted to hear
it from me. I just needed to talk to him.
It was just like really important to like about what like, well,
that's private, but I just wanted to know to interstood,
like we don't unders stand, we don't understand, and not Victoria.
By the way, she's holding her own right there. She

(52:06):
was like, she was like, I didn't want to come
to you and cry. She said, well you did, like
and then it was like, you know, she was like,
well it was more of a personal thing about our
time and basically they were just Victoria was like, zip it, no,
I don't know except this, no, okay, throwing all that out.
So what we're talking about is Katie stumbling down, Katie

(52:29):
my mama, Katie kissing behind the screen, the pier one screen,
Sarah holding her own, and the girls now bonding with Victoria,
who was so great. Now the common enemy is the
common ally, I'm gonna let Ross Matthew start well. And
you know what, I would say that Queen Victoria set
the scene at the end of last episode. She said,
I'm going to get them all to turn on Sarah,

(52:50):
and she smartly did. I'm telling you because now she
she had this whole target hunter. Everybody hated Victoria and
then somehow she managed to turn it and and by
the Sarah didn't hurt her or help her cause it all,
but she made it on her. And I think that
Victoria just kept putting fire on the Sarah brings Sarah down. Yeah, okay,

(53:12):
Aaron Foley, Yeah, this is where the power shift happened
in the house. I was loving it. This is when
I was like, Victoria needs to stay to the very end,
not romantically, but just somewhere floating under the couch and
popping up um. And I was. I was, really, I'm
always kind of I'm always sort of impressed when people

(53:37):
like in their twenties don't take any ship and call
people out, because it's like I run away from confrontation
and like that, Oh my god, Like that's such a
great quality when it's done the right way, when you're
not like you're like an overconfident you know. But she's
got that something where I was like, good for her,
you know, I would have ever done that. I think

(53:58):
it's when she's not hammered. Okay, Brendan, I I must
admit that because franchise villains, I'm exhausted by them. I'm
exhausted by the manufacturing of them. I'm I'm exhausted by
the the mere existence of them. H During this part
of the show, I kept checking Twitter to see if
Trump had thrown Mike Pens through a plate class window. Okay,

(54:22):
so you didn't like it. No, I didn't because because
I know, because I know where things go, and I
know that it's just two hours the podcast. You don't
just want to poo poo the show. But did you
know what was gonna did you know what was going
to happen? It was no, no, no, I don't know. No,
I don't know what's what's coming up at all. I

(54:43):
mean meaning I know from a producing point of view
where they're going, you know what I'm saying. I don't
mean I have no idea about Oh my god, this
was the best part of the show. It was so awesome.
I was totally invested, totally focused. I had my dog
Jango with me. He loved it. But it was fun
and I love Anna Kendrick Girl. It was fun though,

(55:05):
because it was fun most of the time. You get
the same person and now we've got a lot of
twists and turns with Victoria, and you know, so I
kind of like being like, oh, what are they doing? Now?
What are they? Why were there? And there there's twists
and terms. I actually felt this week's episode did not
go out. I was I did not expect to love Victoria.
I did not expect Dilder Girl to have class. I

(55:25):
did not expect Katie to become so I mean, Sarah
to become so annoying. Like I didn't see this episode coming.
I thought it was fun, um okay, so then um
so then she's all upset. Rachel gets the group rose
and Sienna gets the one on Serena gets the one
on one. Now, Serena absolutely adorable. I haven't even noticed

(55:48):
her before, Like, didn't even remember. Yes, Brendan top four,
she's in my top four. She as she was going,
I'm like, she is stunning. She is cool. She kind
of like gave him ship a few times, like about
the turtles and things like that. I really I feel
like he's picking nice. I mean until Sarah went that ship,

(56:09):
like he's been picking kind a night like Bree is great.
I think. I think Serena was lovely. So they go
and and so they they go on like a horseback
riding and um and it really they were so cute
together overall. Um and they had a nice chat where

(56:30):
her dad was giving him a hard her a hard
time about being on the Bachelor, and he's like, you know,
um my mom really was very encouraging. It was hard
for me to see her sort of growing older without somebody,
And she was saying her dad's life was linear and
how she thinks that life needs to be more an adventure.
And he was saying that he could relate to that
because he was. He did. He went to college and

(56:52):
he did, but everybody thought that he should do, and
then he got there and he realized he was living
somebody else's dreams. I actually felt like they had some
more real chats than we've seen from in many seasons,
like these were more down to earth chats. Aeron Foley,
how did you feel about this date? Donkey coming up,
the donkey coming up and eating the turkey, and then
they're talking at the charcuterie place. I was just gonna say,

(57:14):
down to earth date with charcuterie and donkeys, that's hard.
That's a hard one to pull off, like a down
to Earth And then a donkey comes in and then
they're trying to figure out where to place the salami.
What listen? Um? She yeah? I like her. I like her.
I like that. I like what she had to say.
Falling in like that was adorable, so cute and um again,

(57:38):
I just think that these women I just need more
out of him. I have no sense of him. I
feel like he's acts the same sort of way with
the women, so I don't I want a little bit
more from him. So the fun part about watching these episodes,
you're like, oh, you're you start pairing people up. Like
I was not a big fan of Zach last season,
but then I was like, they have to be together, tairm,

(58:02):
So I want more out of him, more of a
sense of him, so I can start pairing because the
are they're cool. I believe we're going to get that
by the end of the season. I think he's I
think he grew up like that his dad and there's
some stuff there and like trying to do right and

(58:22):
like it's just he and his like his mom doing
the best she can. And then if you're like, because
he played football, right, so like you're all everybody every
guy has played professional football at some point. Yeah, So
like so like he's like on that track, and then
like you can see how and he's super tall, so
you stand out wherever you go. You're the super tall,
handsome guy with some like tricky stuff from a parent

(58:46):
that's not around, and like you can see how you'd
be protective and like a little guarded and so I'm
I'm hopeful that as it gets going, I think he's
a nice guy, that he'll come out of his shell. Russ,
when you your connection with him, does he loosen up
as you get to know him? Um, I would like
to find out. I'll tell you this though. The Donkey
girl for me just like it's so boring after all

(59:07):
that drama with the Victoria and the same, just like
she's sweet, it's fine, but the only memorable thing of
that whole day. And I could make some cheesy joke
about CHACRUDERI I'm not gonna do it. I'm chatter than that,
but I will tell you. I will tell you I
was so bored. The only thing I remember is the
Donkey about that date, like there needs to be I
really am being I'm gravitating towards the crazier women, which

(59:29):
I know is not a good life choice for him,
But in terms of the show, that's where I'm leaning. Yeah,
And I did. I did like her making like what
do you mean with something you will lose? Or you
love turtles? And then her didn't like talking about the
turtlenecks and like the turtle bathing suit and ironically, he
wouldn't come out of his showy get it, Brendan Um,

(59:54):
I have to say again, I'm gonna say I think
she's top four. Just based on my knowledge of the
previous shows and the franchise, I think she's gonna go far.
I will say this. The thing that I enjoyed about
this date is the fact that they are seventy miles
south of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in my hometown. And uh, it's
Dear Season because this was probably shot, uh sometime in October,

(01:00:16):
maybe late September. Um. So I was listening intently to
hear the sound of gun shots in the background. I
don't know how the pandemic has has affected Dear Season
in Pittsburgh, but I know that that part of the
world they loved hunts that happens in my hometown. To
you hear this and you're just thinking, if I was
out on a walk, could that bullet here? Katie's leaving forward,

(01:00:36):
Katie's upset. Katie is so upset. Well, now I'm never
going there. I mean Pennsylvania, south of Pittsburgh, So I
mean that is dear city. You know what, I just
don't It's fine, just let them be coming to people.
I know. Oh sorry, here's what we did not discuss. Okay,

(01:01:00):
before they go on the date. Before they go on
the date, he goes to pick her up and he's like,
all right, I just wanted to talk to you guys
about what happened last night with Sarah. And they're like,
she's not here, and then he was like, she's not here.
She's like Then he goes up to her bedroom she's
and they're like, oh, he's probably just like telling like
telling her to come downstairs. He places his entire giant body.

(01:01:23):
He also loved his tiny gals. She's tiny, Brie is tiny, um,
and so is the one that's on the day. Serena
is tiny. He put places himself all over her and
then she comes out in her little pot for like
a wounded you know, and then like they're snuggle and
they're like making out and like this, poor Serena has
to sit there. Well, once again, Sarah upstages and she

(01:01:47):
has to act cool with it, like every single thing
she's made about her. Aaron Foley, how do you do that?
If do you want to make it about you? Yeah,
I mean I was just gonna say really quick Ross
it's fun to listen through you know your you're you're
watching because that's when you gravitate towards and all these

(01:02:08):
seasons it's like crazy and this one in the drama
it's so fun, and then that usually just kind of
Peter's off and then you go into like you just
become this crazy romantic or at least I do. And
I know these two have to be together, but like
it is the crazy, the crazy part is just so fun.
That's why I do think they're like rolling into escorts.

(01:02:29):
I hope I'll get there because right now I'm just
enjoying Victoria, you know, and um so I hope I
get there. And did I see that there? And well,
I know there's a lot to discuss, but there's new
women coming. That was that's new, that's the new. That's
the thing that they do in Australia that they're gonna
start here now. Ross, I know that we only had
you for a little bit of time today. Before you go,
I want to know, um who do you think the

(01:02:50):
top your top three are? Who's gonna I know enough
of their names? Um U, Abigail, Abigail will be there
for sure, um m m. There's the one who's from
New York who gave him like the New York um
snow globe. Oh that is that is a kit Okay,
I would like I would like to see her there

(01:03:11):
because I think she's put little petite her mom, Cynthia Alle.
Why would they not say that on the show. I'm
friends with Cynthia. That's her daughter. Oh my god, that's amazing.
So I would love to see her that within do
you have an inside scoop? But she there at you know,
I don't want to know. I don't want to know
um and I don't know. I mean Victoria. I just
want Victoria to win. I want him because he's marry

(01:03:32):
Victoria and I have a happy life. And if he's
not going to do it, then I'll be the man,
the one then man enough to marry her. I love her.
I would like to watch her on every show. I
hope she's on six Pound Life next, right on everything. Ross.
It's been such a joy having you on as our
Bachelor of this season. I hope you come joined this again.
Where can people find you? Well, they can find me

(01:03:53):
in front of my television now watching The Bachelor every week,
so they can find me. You did it. I would
love to come back on and share my in and
as I get more well versed, you know, as I
call that bachelor great. You did great, Thank you great.
I tried to jump into so hello. Ross is on
my social and then my podcast is Straight Talk with Ross,
which Arden has been a guest on. So Fun. He's
so it's such a fun podcast. Ross, thank you so

(01:04:15):
much for joining us, and please come back and play again.
Thank you for being gentle with me. I did it.
I did it. I did gentle. We said, said some
friendly place. You did it, and you were great by Ross.
All right, you guys, all right, and here we go
Art and I forgot to answer that really quick. That
moment with Um. I was really pissed at Matt. I

(01:04:39):
was like taking like it's it's Serena's date. I thought
that was so rude. This is in reference to when
he went and made out with Sarah. Yeah, it was crazy.
I agree with you, it was so rude. Brendan, what
did you think about that? Well, it's interesting because he's
not the kissing bandit like Ari was, so so anytime
he makes out with some buddy it bumps me a

(01:05:01):
little bit. You know what I mean, it's it's he's
I don't know where his sexual energy is coming from,
do you know what I mean? Yeah, he's not a
because he's not a dirty dog. Not a dirty dog.
He's not a dirty dog. I haven't noticed. People keep
pointing out that he kisses with his eyes open, and
I have not noticed it. Well, I'll tell you. The
thing that he does is he smashes his face into

(01:05:23):
you and he holds his lips closed for a while.
It's a it's a really weird thing now that but
Aaron was saying that he grabs you with his mouth. Yeah,
like like large mouth coming in and then my eyes
are on you and the women though, have their eyes closed.

(01:05:44):
So it's like if I remember making out with this
dude in college, I mean a lot of bad mistake
and and he was from Spain or something. And the
only reason why I'm saying that it is because I
was like, your eyes are open, and he's like, oh,
it's a cultural thing. We we kissed with their eyes
open in Spain. And I was like, I'm gonna have
to fact check that anyway. It never kissed him again,

(01:06:07):
because it's the most alarming thing on the planet when
someone is kissing with their eyes open, and I cannot
get over it. I gotta what Katie noticed it last week?
Katie like, give us your kissing impressions. No, yeah, he
definitely kisses weird. Um. And I noticed his eyes like
sometimes they'll be like kind of why, but sometimes they're
just like slightly open, which I find to be even

(01:06:29):
creepier because at that point it's like, why not just
close your eyes. I just don't get that. My sister
did a year abroad in Spain, and I'm sure she
made out with some dudes and I'm going to text
her right now see if she remembers this. Dr Banana.
Are you were are you aware of the kissing styles?
And what did you think when he came to take
Serena on a date and then split off to like

(01:06:51):
make out with Sarah for fifteen minutes? Um? I thought
that was a poor choice on his part. I have
noticed the kissing a little. He's an interesting kisser. It's
like I don't know if he's just so much bigger
than the women that he just can't help but engulf
them when he kisses them. But also, um, I didn't
I thought that was bad form to go talk to
Sarah before going out with Serena. It was her day.

(01:07:13):
Did you guys notice that he loves tiny women, like
putting Brie on the a TV, putting Serena on the horse,
Like they're all like tiny, little, teeny tiny little figurines,
just like placed, you know, like I'm not a big
gal like, but there's just something that he seems to grab.
I bet you're right. I bet Kit will have Kit
will have some time in the sun. And by the way,

(01:07:34):
Kit looks just like Demmy, She's the bizarro Demmiah. Yeah,
she does look like um So. Then, um so, when
he came back down from comforting Sarah, he was like, look,
we're all humans at the end of the day. Like
he has a generous heart, and he's like, she's upset.
We're all humans. But to Brendan's point earlier, if he

(01:07:55):
starts doing this at the beginning of the season and
he twice to tend to every little garbage fire, he's
going to drive himself crazy. It's going to be unmanageable.
Um So, then um he's like, I like the way
you ride the hoar, you know, like there they are,
they're riding the horse. They go the turtleneck and then
they go in and they get in the hot tub.
It's interesting. I'm wondering how ABC is trying to be

(01:08:19):
cooler that they only now, like Lady Gaze, show us
his abs, and they're not showing any of the women
taking their clothes off. Every woman gets the dignity of
getting into the tub without watching them stripped down. And
I feel like that's ABC mindfully being a little less creepy. Well,
you know, they had to convince Mickey to have a

(01:08:40):
man of color as the bachelor, so Mickey might have
had some notes about what he wanted in return. But
why wouldn't he because because we show so many aid
best serious huh you know what I mean, Like you
can't but he's not. He's not showing boobs now anymore
like that. I know that because oh he doesn't want.

(01:09:02):
He doesn't want. I don't think. I think. I think
if I'm going to put him in a car on
my network as the bachelor, cannot have you know what
I'm saying. I think they Mickey. I love, I love
like conservative executive Mickey. It's so real just what he
is what you will be fired, You would be fired

(01:09:28):
off that lot off the way to fucking vist a lot.
If you tell an off color joke about Mickey or
mine or even Pluto. I mean, your stuff will be
boxed up and your door will be you know how
I'm saying it's okay. It took how long eighteen years
to convince Mickey to put a black dude on on

(01:09:50):
on The Bachelor? I mean, at least one of my gays,
like one of the do you some things to do
a gay a gay man over a gay woman or right?
I just discussed No, I know, I know, I know,
I mean I think we discussed this last summer when
he was making that it was okay with Demi because
it was two blond women? Would they put it? Would

(01:10:13):
they put a lesbo on before they put it? Yes?
A blond woman, a pretty femin blond woman then maybe yeah,
for sure. Although although if most women watch The Bachelor,
I feel like they would be more comfortable with like
a sassy, funny gay man, right than a Lesbo. She
depends on. She has to be high fem she has

(01:10:35):
to be for sure. Yeah. Sure. We we only had
a bisexual man on the Netflix show where You The
Love Is Blind? Yes? Right? Have we had a man
on the Bachelor, Whether as a contestant, that's a good question.
Openly bisexual, that's a good question. I doubt it. I

(01:10:55):
don't think so. I can't remember because they made such
a big deal about Demi that if they would have
made a big deal about having a bye a guy
who's by as well. It was also that other girl,
Jamie who was by on Nick vial seson. I't remember
that a smoke show. I was in the smoke show. Okay,

(01:11:20):
so then um I got by the end, I felt
like overall, Serena and Matt had a good date. She said,
She goes at the beginning of the date, I felt
like if they asked, they fall in love. He says
he thought he'd been in love, but he hadn't been
in loved. She had been in love, and she got hurt.
And then she said, I thought in the beginning that
I was falling alike with you, and then now I'm
realizing I could potentially fall in love with you. And

(01:11:41):
he seemed to really like that. I think she's not
gonna win, but I think she's going to go make
it to hometowns. Okay, We're gonna take a break and
we'll be back with the Queen Victorias, Sarah our bachelor
of villain and money and their grandfollowers, Hi, everybody and her.

(01:12:06):
Back back at the ranch, the women are piste at
Sarah because not only now has she interrupted the group date,
she then didn't come down. She then made out with Matt,
and then the girls are like, we're gonna gatherer and
then so she goes and hides out in her like
Cinderella Castle, which you couldn't do in Calabasa because you

(01:12:27):
don't really have separate rooms in Calibernia. So this early on,
you're not yet. You're not yet in some weird town
in America. You're not overseas, like you're in a group
bunk situation. So she's hiding out and then Victoria is like,
you know, um, the girls got issues. Sarah doesn't need Matt.

(01:12:48):
The girl needs a xan x amazing, it's so good.
So she's hiding and then m J starts going, you
know what silence is just as telling, you know, like
like if you do come down here, now I know
who you are, which I like. The women are pissed, Aaron,

(01:13:08):
I know you were very shook it by how the
women dealt with Sarah. Um, she how how are you feeling? Like?
Talk to us about that? Well? I think they all
were perfectly perfectly reasonable. Um you know, anger levels and
what they had to say was so spot on. It
just to me by the end got um it got

(01:13:32):
like pack. It was like pack mentality. It was like
a little it was it was a little brutal, you
know what I mean. Like one, you know, I wish
someone just had had like said, okay, listen, you know
this is how we feel like and just kind of
cut it off, you know what I mean, Because at
some point I was like, oh my god, Like they're there.
There are like, you know, just hyenas, you know, I mean,

(01:13:56):
Sarah's like in their mouth and they're like, we're gonna
fucking ripper to shreds. It got it got a little
bit too, you know. It was like thirty against one,
you know, That's what I was like. I know, knowing
the backstory, which the other woman don't know, it was like,
of course she's freaking out, you know what I mean,
And she's a nightmare and she has brought it all

(01:14:17):
on herself. It was just it was a little bit
too much like the thirty against one. It was it
was uncomfortable. I mean one of them had a really
good point, which I think was MK, when she was like,
you have not had it difficult. You had a one
on one. I've not even spoken with him. You're this
isn't this is the deal. Your your ride here has
not actually been difficult. You had the first one on one. Katie,

(01:14:38):
lean forward, Katie, give us your thoughts. I I was
just gonna say, I was gonna agree. I thought they
were really really mean to her, and like she didn't
do her like you said, she didn't do herself any favors,
but like they could have just at least listened to her,
Like when she tried to follow m J and J
pretty much told her to funk off. I was just like,
come on, like she was trying to talk to you. Um,

(01:15:00):
Brandon keeps hrasing his hand though. I'm gonna say this that, Honey,
the Bachelor's been around for a long long time. You
know the deal. You know the deal. There's a million
other women fighting for the attention of one dude. That's
how the show works. Cannot bring that attitude to southwestern Pennsylvania, where,

(01:15:25):
by the way, we're not seeing bikinis except for the
hot tub because it's forty degrees. I have questioned dry
think that it is the way they treated Sarah. I
feel like we actually haven't seen as like it was,
like we usually when they apologize, they're not so vicious.
I feel like, but like, is it because these women

(01:15:48):
are truly really obsessed and into how hot Mad is?
Like maybe he is he is hotter than the average bachelor.
It does feel like maybe that they're like almost ravenous,
Like how fucking dare that's the level of the energy.

(01:16:08):
Oh jare you Katie? We we you know, they also
have been in quarantine up until now, they've been in
the pandemic. They haven't been able to day. They haven't
been able to get out there. Right, Yeah, then they
should start making out with each other. There's every one

(01:16:29):
of them, even though that don't talk like that. We
know nothing there. Everyone is an eleven out of town.
That is, everyone is fluid. It's hit every chord. It's fluid.
It's fluid. Everyone's fluid. I mean, yeah, it's that's it.
Everyone's FLUI Here's that's a good point, though, Katie. I

(01:16:51):
am so now I've been handling the pandemic, very socially distanced.
There's a lot of people who are on the opposite
ends of the scale. Many of them are younger like
but like, I can only imagine when the gates opened again,
and the flood gates open and I have to go
interact in society, I might be extra weird again when

(01:17:13):
it's so so I do think you're right, the like
quarantining for two weeks and then you get put in
and it's a global pandemic, like it is a perfect
storm to be going. How Jerry you and it's the
hottest bachelor they've ever had. I think I think we
all just Nancy Drew sleuthed at you guys, um because

(01:17:37):
they were like, you know what if Matt sent me home?
Oh it's talking about when she goes to go talk
to him. Victoria goes, if Matt sends her home, I
will want to fuck him because that is so hot
that he was able to see through her bullshit Again,
Queen Victoria, you're and your girl. I just I cannot

(01:17:57):
get over last week to this week. I mean, she
I went from being like I got one more week
and she needs to wrapp her ship and go home.
So over it to like stay forever. She's a blasts
because she turned funny. She made it funny, she made
it like lighter and you know she's obviously like you know,

(01:18:20):
she's not on classy dot com. But I love this
blue collar sty in the eye getting ripped and ripping
it up in the fucking house, you know what I mean.
This woman has been drinking bud lights since she was
seven and I'm here for it. Just wait for her
one woman show at the West Side Connection. Me and
my horder mom. It's gonna be there, or it's gonna

(01:18:41):
be at the Falcon Theater in Burbank. That's when it
moves down. It'll move transfer to the Falcon Theater. After
after it's gonna start at the Complex and the transferred
to the Falcon. There'll be a run through at the
Gelson's Bar. You gotta come to see my show, can you, guys?
Because the guys to Montreal are going to be there,

(01:19:02):
and I really have to fucking book this. Gary Gary
Man is in the audience. I can't believe that Gary
Man is going to be there, you guys, Gary Man
is going to be there. The amount of times the
phrase Gary Man is going to be there by myself,
and it's no inside baseball for people living in outside
this city, but it's important. I enjoyed what she said.

(01:19:22):
I do not accept your apology, even if you say
it twenty more times, and then kid goes. I hope
your connection with Matt is really strong, because the rest
of your living day, with the rest of your living
situation here, is going to be horrible. And then that
to me was I you know, like I know we
haven't you know, like I know it's hurd Cynthia probably

(01:19:46):
start like, but to me, I'm not a fan at all.
I just have to say that was really really off putting.
I'm like, you're twenty one years old. You need to
take a step back, she said. I literally avoid literally
avoid me at all costs because I never want to
hear your name or see your face again. Thank you,

(01:20:08):
Dr Banana. What did you think I mean? I'm telling
you that Sarah crossed a lot like she did it.
She did it, she did. She got the first one one,
she's not coming downstairs, she cuts in on a group date,
and then she cuts into this nice woman's second group date.

(01:20:31):
She's not No part of her has been like basically
it's like, you're not gonna hang out with us, like
you're not our friends. And because I felt like after
the group date with the Erotica, the women were being
nice like this is not a mean group of women generally,
Like so she's kind of isolating herself. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, No,

(01:20:54):
go ahead, go ahead, I was just gonna say we
all like she she totally brought it on herself. By
the time she did that, it was like strike number seventeen.
It just I don't know, you get away with it
and some people, I feel like it was like abrasive
and the Kit moment, I was like, you know what
I mean, Kit was bringing the same energy to me

(01:21:15):
as like you stepped on my cat's neck and got it,
Like do you think that's okay? Because that's that's not okay,
And that was the energy. But like when you can
answer that over to the situation they're in and what's
going on, like I mean, that's it is what it is,
like they were very upset by this. Um yeah so

(01:21:36):
so then um so, then Sarah has made up her
mind and she's decided to leave and she was like, um,
I have to go, I have to go. You guys
and UM. And then sadly and surprisingly, Katie the Dildo
Girl goes to talk to her and she was like,
you can't leave. I don't want you to leave. You
guys have to explore your connection. I don't want to

(01:21:57):
be his backup plan. UM. And then this is when
it gets very touching and real. She's like, look, I'm
not cut out for this. I have to put my
well being first, which is actually the phrase the word
will being like, she like you could. She actually knew
herself enough to know that she was not doing okay.
And then she said, my dad is weighing on my heart.

(01:22:19):
It's time away. And then that's when she confessed that
her dad had a fatal disease. And then we learn
that they that Katie, She's like, my dad passed away
in two thousand twelve, and I encourage you to go
be with him, and she said it's weighing on my heart.
And then Katie says, I understand that more than I
would like to. How articulate like that moved me. I

(01:22:43):
understand that more than I would like to. I missed
out on saying goodbye to my dad, and I would
never want that for you. Um, and she said yes,
and I don't feel my best and Dad, he deserves
my best. And then she went and told the other
woman without outing her, without telling them what was going on,
and then she encouraged them to stay classy. This was

(01:23:04):
a surprising, elegant human moment with real empathy after an
episode of Jackals, and that is why I enjoyed this episode.
Brendan Smith Europe first talked a lot. I okay, you know,
I love it when the show gets real and the
curtain is pulled back a little bit. I was nervous
here because I really I totally agree. I totally felt.

(01:23:27):
It was real, it was grounded, they were bonding, It
humanized Sarah. But I got nervous. I got nervous because
now Sarah has to leave for Brendan's For Brendan Smith
to to continue to participate in this season of The Bachelor,
she has to leave. She cannot go to Matt. He

(01:23:47):
cannot beg her to stay, she cannot change her mind
because this is real and it's family. And if you
has to go home, she has to go home because
you're a monster if you don't. And and I felt,
and not only your monster, you're manipulating. You're playing to

(01:24:08):
the camera, you are playing to the producers. So I
got nervous here. I really felt it was a true
authentic moment at one Sarah back for me. I hope
she makes it to kaw kat l A. I'd love
to see a report from the Vans and studio city,
you know, about Los Angeles in the month of the
pandemic or whatever she's going to cover. But you know, please,

(01:24:31):
you gotta leave now, Okay, Aaron Folly, how did you
feel about this conversation with Deld Katie Well? Part Part
one and two One the conversation with Katie I thought, was,
you know, I just lost my dad? Are you lost it?
Like the dad thing? Of course, I was like losing
my mind going through it, But I was losing my
mind more for Katie. It was Katie. It's Katie's point.

(01:24:54):
It was Katie's moment. To me. This did not redeem
Sarah in my eyes at all. Am I cheering for Yes?
Am I cheering for her dad. Do I want her
to go home and take care of herself? Yes? However,
she did say he could go in any time, you know,
it could it could be weeks. I'm like what the
fuck are you doing in a log cabin trying to
meet a fucking guy in the middle of the fucking

(01:25:16):
Poconos adjacent if your dad's weeks away? And I thought,
is this another manipulation? Is this just another moment to
get so much fucking like, you know, attention, And then
I thought, oh my god, if part of me did
want her to go to Matt and Matt consoler because
I wanted part of me wanted that moment. If that

(01:25:39):
beach walked back into the house, my mind, my head
would have exploded. It would have been one of the
greatest TV moments of all time. But I also needed
her to go home, so there was a lot for me.
I just was like, yeah, so really, but I was
on the edge of my seat. Made really great reporting
from both of you. I like, I like both could commentary.

(01:25:59):
Dr Banana, how did you feel? Um? I. I was
very nervous she was going to come back when he
was talking to her, and I was like, oh, honey, there,
you know, like when you see like a like a
carcass and all these like hyenas are just ripping it apart.
Like That's when I was like, no, no, don't this

(01:26:20):
is not worth it. They will they will hang you
up and eat you. She was losing her life force
Like looking at her, she was looking very pale, very
like you could see she wasn't physically doing well. And
then and then if she went back to those hyenas,
they would hang you on a stay steak in the

(01:26:42):
Nemicolon lobby, they would never called her hung her and
like like put her up and like it's like like
like you know, put like a fur coat on. Like
she had to go, so she said, he said, she
was like, it's meant so much to me, and he said,
I don't want to lose you. And and she said, um,

(01:27:03):
I have to go home and I have to be
with my family. I don't think I'm ready for this.
And then she said, I do have feelings for him,
but I can't do this. He sees my heart, but
he let me go. This isn't the best version of Sarah,
and Matt deserves the Sarah. I gave it my all.
I can't do this. And then they bring in five
new girls, one of whom somebody is supposed to be

(01:27:25):
an escort. Wow, when one door closes, another door of
escorts open, and art and as you know, one of
my favorite things in the city of Los Angeles is
to go looking for escorts. So I cannot wait. The
bar at the Peninsula is a great place to find
an escort if you're in Las Vegas, the Bellagio Bar.

(01:27:49):
I don't I don't buy their services. I'm just endlessly
fascinated the possibility there. You want to know where that
you you are like tracking a storm. You want to
know where the s courts. Sorry, well, because I think
in the in the past, I think it's very probable
that there has been someone who has worked as an
escort in the franchise. Uh You, when you're that hot

(01:28:12):
in the city of Los Angeles and you're the hostess
of a of a restaurant on Lasiannica, oftentimes you get
tricked into that profession. So I can't wait to see
who it is. Hi, sir, how many in your party?
I think it's great. Let's we should have more openly

(01:28:34):
uh like women who are escorts, like talking about it,
because we just had a first lady who was so
come on, whoa, what is it? Batter like? You're allowed
to make money that way. I'm not judge, and I
enjoy it because I'm like, Wow, what a life. I
wish I had such confidence to make money in that
sort of way. But alas I am a timid creature,
but also your less than us. You could write the

(01:28:57):
rata read it. You're tacking to three that are more
timid than you, Brendan. I was once in the parking
lot of the right Aid on Sunset and Fairfax, and
I saw two super hot girls that couldn't have been
older than four, talking to each other in front of
a giant black escalade, and one said to the other, Oh,

(01:29:18):
you should go to Dubai. You would make like a
hundred grand in a month. And I was like, yes,
my god, that was your that was your pot of
gold over the rainbow. I could have gotten out of
so many jams if I had just picked the right escalade.
I am so angry with myself right now. Oh my god,

(01:29:41):
I've got a bachelor question. Yes, yes, this well for everybody?
Is this the new normal? That that that we be
bringing new people halfway through? What I think? I here's so,
I wanted to say as the International dr Banana and Brendan,
because he's watched with us on they do it on
ust Elia and New Zealand they call and the other.

(01:30:02):
It's pretty common internationally. They call them intruders. They're like,
as they intrude, that's my wonderful they insured as they
come and cut the grass. That's when you interrupts somebody
your cut like a um Eron Caiman does she do it?

(01:30:27):
Dr Banana say that I cut your grass and that
I'm an intruder. You cut my grass? Trude, I don't
know the intrude is he? And she kind even cut
my grass. If you want to hear more wonderful accents
like that, you can join our Patreon and you get
access to all sorts of episodes, which is by the way, Brendan,
how fun is Bachelor in Paradise Australia? Oh my god?

(01:30:49):
This is just the greatest art and makes us Aaron
Arden makes us all. She'll find a sentence and she'll
make all of us do repeat the sentence in an
Australian accents. That's amazing. I can't I am the worst
Australian accent person. Katie Levine, Will you tell me the

(01:31:09):
intruders are here? And she just cut the grass within
Australian accent? Please? Does hear? And she just cut the grass.
What is that good? I don't know. Carefully, try it.
Intruders are here. She just cut the grass being treated
that she just you sell like an old timey like

(01:31:30):
newspaper reporter. Try it, try it. This is what our
patriart is. This the we say a little Australian again,
who's the best at aunt Anna Anna? Try it? Well? Actually,
you know I have audio. You want to hear it.

(01:31:52):
Let's sentence. Let's do a sentence. Let's do the Okay,
we're gonna do a pent sentence. This is is well
on the way the Argentinian countryside of the state. Okay,
this is New Zealand. Ready they catch out to try it.
Ready to be here one more time. The culture party
is well under way as Argentinian countryside of the state. Okay,

(01:32:13):
here we go. The cocktail party is well on the
way and the Argentinian Cotier something countryside the state. The
cocktail party is starting in the Argentinian the state. Okay, Brandon,
two days ago, I saw a tanker back there. You
want to get out, you talk to me, Dr Branana.

(01:32:37):
The cocktail party started well in the way, well underway
at the Argentinian estate. Dr Levine. The cocktail party was
well under way in the Argentinian countryside of state and
was way bad. It was so bad. The cocktail party
is well under why Argentini countryside sky that was good.

(01:33:02):
Robin Leach was on cracked. This is all we do? Okay,
And I just dropped one bit of info that's been
going around Twitter. Apparently Sarah had a boyfriend that she
left and is now back to get with. Really, I'm

(01:33:23):
I don't know, I don't know if that's based in fact.
Let's just talk about the fact that Dale and Dale
and what's her name shocked se Dale? Yeah, Claren Dale
broke up. Can I say that one of the things
that made me super happy about last night, besides the
Taco About commercial for the loaded Nacho taco um, is

(01:33:46):
the ore. Didn't you know this about me? I'm invested
in Joe Joe and Jordan's I followed them on social media.
I love those two. I love their show where they
flip homes and turn them into air being Ease and
their Heineken commercial. I cried. So. I don't know why
because I hate quarterbacks and lead cheerleaders, but I'm invested

(01:34:10):
in Joejoe and Jordan's it was that happy. How about
watching the Good Doctor show he gets laid with the
Good Doctor gets lynd Ever seen like she didn't know
the premise of The Good Doctor and he's so harny.

(01:34:30):
She's like, why would anybody watch that show? And I go, well,
I think it's like he has autism, and she goes, oh,
oh god, he's always okay. Well you guys. Oh, by
the way, we really we got so many great reviews.
Here's one of our Please review us on I just
like us. We're okay, we're not at one point one.
Let's just get us to one point two baby steps.

(01:34:52):
Just go like us on iTunes right now and leave
us a review. Here's a few of the great reviews
we got. This is from Jill Jill Stars the Best
Distraction from a Civil War. I used to listen to
political slash news related podcast, you know, like true adult
content at work to stay informed, but when I realized
that was affecting my mental health, I turned to this

(01:35:15):
podcast instead. I went back and listened to all the episodes,
even your Courage coverage of Ari's time on Emily's season Wow,
and the amount of joy it brought me is unmatched.
Now I catched myself calling people smoke shows and saying
things are so good, And when people ask me what
I'm talking about, I just say it's an inside joke.

(01:35:37):
Thank you for being my pandemic best friends and for
covering the greatest show on television. Oh, Jill, what a
nice review. Things are so good. I'm crazy right now.
I'm just so crazy busy. How sweet is that, Katie.
Don't you love that you went back and listen to
all the episodes. That's so fun. What a good thing
to do, you know, during our time during the pandemic.
What perfect time to go back and listen to all

(01:35:58):
the old episodes. Absolutely, and look, we're aware that the
episodes are getting longer, but we feel like people need
the distraction we got. We got a review from somebody
who's upset. Four stars from a loyal listener from Amy
two Hours. I absolutely love this podcast. I've been listening
for a couple of years. However, I found myself listening
to it less and less because it's two hours long.

(01:36:20):
Factoring commercials. That's longer than the actual Bachelor episode themselves.
It's quite the time commitment. I wish it was only
an hour so I could regularly listen to Art and
the Gang of their hilarious take on the Bachelor Bachelory. Well,
I understand that, Amy, I I am sensitive to people's time.
I I agree with you. I think honestly we're also
isolated and it's so fun to be on here and
it's like it's such a joy. And Katie has an

(01:36:43):
idea for how to listen to it. Our most podcast apps,
um they have the ability to listen to it at
like one and a half speed or two time speed.
I honestly listen to almost every podcast that one and
a half speed. I just prefer it that way, and
then it goes by quicker. Yes, and you know, we're
having more and like the good news is we're getting
We've gotten more popular and more people want to come on,

(01:37:04):
and so as a host, I always try to make
sure everybody gets fair time, which just makes the episodes
a little longer, which because we want to be able
to have on everybody. Now that Jerry's on and Doug
is on, and now Ross is on, and and that
that is just they're just bigger episodes. That's why they're
bigger episodes. So everybody gets their chance to share just
just so you understand. But maybe you're not even listening

(01:37:25):
because you haven't gotten as far. Alright, five stars step
helps me in the sky. I'm a flight attendant. I
always listen to this podcast on my way to work.
By the time I arrive, I'm in such a good move.
No one can meence with me. I wait for each
episode to come out and I save it for my drive.
I honestly fell in love with Zack and Tasha, but
I'm not quite feeling strong about any of the women

(01:37:45):
I'm at season. I've also known people like Queen Victoria.
She found out the Victoria's been a flight attendant for
a private airline, which honestly blew me away. Can you
see her doing customer service? The company probably went under
due to her. Thanks again for the last well Sam
would thank you so much. I'm so glad that you
feel like nobody can miss with you. Thank you for
your service. Uh, and we love all of your reviews.

(01:38:06):
Come on, we're going for one point too, that's what's next.
And we love all your emails, like the awesome email
that we got earlier from the from the eye Doctor.
We read all of them. We really appreciate all of them,
So please email us at Rose podcast at gmail dot com.
Maybe we'll read it on the air. Okay, you can
also participate. If you want to participate in Tweet of
the Week, just do it by midnight on Monday nights

(01:38:28):
specific time and tag either anna hos ni A H
O S S N I E H or myself art
marine A R D E N M Y R I
N and do the hashtag w y A t R.
Will you guys help me pick a tweet of the week?
All right? This is from um Jeremy Conopca at six

(01:38:49):
for Ginger. I'm assuming this is what it felt like
to be at the bridgertain table read did you guys
watch Britain? I haven't watched yet. Oh it's like it's
like fancy porn. It's like porn. Okay, all right, well
that makes if you guys watched Britain then you would
know that it's super dirty. Okay. Um. This is from

(01:39:10):
Ryan Paulson at Our Pulse and Photo. Every white girl
on this group date right now is like I got this.
I watched fifty Shades of Gray on TBS in my
college dorm room last month. This is from Page Cooper
at Peace Cooper sixteen. What are the odds that this
public erotica reading date also started with a group prayer?

(01:39:41):
That's a good one. That's a good one. Um oh,
this is okay. Here's one that what makes me laugh.
This is from I'm Better Than Ben Shapiro at Andrea
Underscore Shapiro. Y'all thought the beliefs from Victoria's erotica were
probably sexual, but I just obtained a transcript and apparently
she said, don't forget we're storming the capital, We're taking

(01:40:06):
our country. Q has spoken. Yes, I didn't think the
prayer one would be top, but I forget it. Win
or Winter Chicken Dinner? Another one you Can Tell Me

(01:40:26):
podcast at You Can Tell Me Pod Volleyball starts at midnight,
says Victoria after getting all of us to be on
her side in this episode. Trust Yeah, Um okay. This
is from three D Underscore de Rito at Josh All.
Matt's early interest in turtles explains his love of the

(01:40:47):
turtle deck. This also made me last do you remember
last week when they were on the A t V
and kepting like do you trust me? Do you trust me?
And then he did, don't us flipped her immediately, So
I want you to stay and say that you trust me. Okay,
that's just a little backstory. This is from uh Intego

(01:41:08):
barf Stable. At Intego barf Stable, Matt, do you trust me?
Does donuts on a horse? I knew it's that's so
funny to me. Oh my god, there's so many good ones.

(01:41:30):
This is from Michael simplements at some of me trying
to figure out what is sexier, the reading from the
Perfect Letter or the shower promo from the Good Doctor
strong Batch. And by the way, a lot of new

(01:41:52):
tweeters strong Batche. This is from at Baseball and one
said that to the landscaping. Everyone knows you're not supposed
to touch the food on dinner dates, but this donkey
was missed an opportunity to eat some assh got. There's

(01:42:13):
so many We've got doughnuts on a donkey. We've got
eat some vat, we eat some ass. We've got, We've
got eat some vat. We've got um, We've got the
doughnuts on the horse. We have the doughnuts on the horse.
We have the capital, and then we have the prayer
before the erotica. So clearly the capital is one of them,

(01:42:33):
which is the second one. I do like the shower
prom Okay, so we'll do shower promo. Okay, here we go. Okay,
I'm gonna start with that. So here are the final two,
Michael Simmons and sister. He recorded a photo to This
is the photo. This is a photo me trying to
figure out what is text here the reading from the

(01:42:57):
Perfect Letter, where the shower from from the Good Doctor.
So I do like I do also like Matt, do
you trust me? Just donuts on work? Or I also

(01:43:18):
love erotica reading started the group prayer. But here we go,
then we okay, so we have we have the Good
Doctor or I'm better than Ben Shapiro at Andrea underscore Shapiro,
y'all thought the beliefs from Victoria's erotica were probably sexual.
But I just obtained a transcript and apparently she said,

(01:43:39):
and this isn't all caps. Don't forget. We're starting the
capital legendary. We're taking back our country que spoken, yes,
keeping Okay, I'm gonna start with you Aaron fully good

(01:44:04):
Doctor or ticket storming the Capital j I mean, I
have I needed to laugh. And they were both all.
First of all, they're all wonderful, but the Capital, like,
it's it's just the joke that it's it's a terrible event,
but there's nothing now funnier to be like, if you're
late to something, you're like, I was just to the Capital.

(01:44:25):
What did I I mean, it's it's never gonna get old.
Oh my god? All right, Kenny's leaning forward. What do
you want to do? Good doctor? Or storm in the Capitol?
Storm in the Capital, for sure, that one's perfect. Dr
Banana storming the Capitol all the Brendan, Hey, I just
bought Nancy Pelosi's laptop on eBay, So storming the Capitol. Alright,

(01:44:49):
you have spoken. I'm better than bad. Shapiro at Andrea
Underscore Shapiro. Y'all thought the bleeps from Victoria's erotica were
probably sexual, but I just obtained a transcript and apparently
she said, don't forget. We're storming. Let's get very six.

(01:45:12):
We're taking back our country. Queenis Q has spoken. Yes,
que I mean that's perfection, it's perfected. Wow. Okay, where
can people find you? What would you like to promote?
Brendan Smith the brandocast dot com with links to Apple, Spotify,

(01:45:32):
and Stitcher blank Apatch is up now. John ross Bally
will be up tomorrow by the time. This is the
Heather Graham and of course Dion Warwick coming up. All right,
Aaron Foley, where can people find you? What would you
like to promote? Um? I am never really good friends
with Dion Warwick, so I'd like to promote that. Um uh,

(01:45:56):
just doing more stand up these days. So I'm gonna
be posting my schedule and Aaron K. Foley dot com.
You guys need a laugh. Let me tell you this
is a joke assassin. She is a surgeon, not only
with her writing but her delivery. She no one is
funnier than Aaron Foley. So to support a stand up
comic and purchase her album Deep Dive Truly it is

(01:46:20):
she tears. If you loved that tweet, you will love
this album. She's hilarious. Go listen to it when you
go for a walk around the neighborhood. Tell your friends
deep Dive with Aaron Foley, and I will also be
thank you for that storming um Griffith Park Observatory to
take over the the just you know, just I just

(01:46:43):
want to keep the oaths. I'm a keeper of the oath.
So I will be a Grove Park. I'm there with
seven o'clock take back the Observatory. All right, Dr Banana, Yeah,
I will be with Aeron. We will be taking back
the Tesla Coil. We've just gone too far. Okay. I'm

(01:47:03):
at and hosting on Twitter. Keep tweeting at me. It's
so fun on Monday nights. You guys got hilarious and
a part of me is like, how are all these
people like late night joke writers? So can I just
say and keep telling your friends? Were just always trying
to grow. We love all of our new listeners and
if you enjoyed our accents, check us out on Patreon.
We'll accept this Rose if you have any questions about
if you have a hard time finding us or whatever.

(01:47:24):
Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. My book little Miss
Little Compton. She's a fun read and such a fun
read and you should get a copy, okay, anywhere you
want to get it. I'm also on Instagram, We're on
Facebook like us, et cetera. Katie Levine, what would you
like to promote my queen? I am Katie Underscore money

(01:47:47):
on Twitter and Instagram and please donate to the your
local food mink. You guys, stay safe, wear a mask.
We're so close to the end of this just but
not quite there yet, So hunker down, don't give up.
Yeah we got this. We're in this together. We love you,
and we'll see you next week. Bybe Oh Yeah. I

(01:48:08):
want to get all up in you tonight. It feels
so good. I just gotta want to push you. Figure
where you this rule lest your word? Who rules your word?

(01:48:43):
Will you accept this? Rose is a production of I
heart Radio. For more podcast on iHeart Radio, visit the
I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.

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