"THAT'S JUST PARADISE!" w/ Seth Herzog

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? A production of iHeartRadio.
Oh oh my god, dude, you guys are wilding out,
and then any name of the jay name has lost
his men are wilding now. Hello, Welcome to a very

(00:40):
special Atlanta edition episode of Except This Rose. My name
is Arto Marine, coming to you from my bougie hotel
room in Atlanta, Georgia. With me today coast to coast Honey,
representing four different locations. I am in Atlanta. Our incredible guest,
who we are fucking obs sessed with, who is so funny,

(01:02):
is one of my very good friends. He's the resident
comic of The Tonight Show, which is the last remaining
eleven thirty late night show on television. He also posts
an incredible the best comedy show in New York called
Sweet that's every month at Chelsea Music Hall. Your friend,
my friend Seth herzog Hi.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Everybody has good to see you, good to hear from everyone.
I'm excited. There's so much us that it's just ridiculous.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
There's so much to break down, and I feel like
I'm super grateful to be on this job, but like,
like you know, this couldn't have happened in my off time,
Like literally, I got this weekend. I'm like, wait, there's
five hours to watch, like are you and it's all
jam packed?

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Okay, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
So coming to us from Brooklyn, New York, the woman
who is now Michelle Obama's best friend, ball Media. Yah,
she's my physician, she's my financial advisor, she's the wind. Bye,
need's my wings. Doctor Hannah Montana, Arianna Rosanna Rosanna Dana
Mitten's mareen and a coat and a conda. Roseny Levine,

(02:13):
Welcome to the program, Doctor.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Banana, Hi, thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
How's it mich hearing? How's Michelle doing? You know?

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Haven't heard for her since?

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Okay, I heard she was going to be on this
this episode with us.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
What happened?

Speaker 4 (02:27):
She's ghosted me.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
And then coming to us very early time slot on
a Sunday morning seven A m is up and clothed,
not in her pajamas. Camera on in Los Angeles, California.
Her gentleman caller, it's his birthday today, so let's give
special love to the friend of all animals, KT Money

(02:51):
KT Money Levine. Hello, Katie Levine.

Speaker 5 (02:54):
Hello, it's very early and I'm going to be I
will be turning off my camera.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
Because I have to eat breakast.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
So do I want to eat it? I don't mind.
What are you eating? What's what's for breakfast?

Speaker 5 (03:05):
I have apples and peanut butter and then uh cereal
and teeth.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's fantastic, that's incredible. Well here we are you guys.
I'm just gonna say this. I want to get right
to it because we have five hours of programming to
break down and normally, you know, I write it out,
but you I just gave up halfway. I was like,
we'll just we'll just go pick topic to topic and
go here's my I have two overall takes. Here's the thing.

(03:36):
If this was a brand news show that didn't exist before,
it'd be kind of fun. But we like the animal.
For me, I'll just speak for myself. It's like I have.
It's like I'm a vinyl record junkie and now somebody
came in and like messed with my authentic organic woodsy
weird like silita, like non air conditioned. We like the

(04:00):
sort of rustic vibe of it. This came in and
I want to just give them. I'm want to give
them credit. Where credits due. If it was a brand
new show. It shot beautifully. The camera work is incredible.
I respect the effort put in, but it's like you
gave a cokehead a coke head built in a lab
of like, Okay, we're gonna do Love Island, We're gonna

(04:22):
do Survivor songs. We're gonna do uh White Lotus music
when they go on the coffee date. We're gonna do
Cougar Cougar Villa, and we're do f Boy Island, and
we're gonna do I Know what you did last summer.
It's so many things like let's give them everything that
it feels so jarring and crazy, and we're gonna mix

(04:46):
the goldens, but we're not really going to give them
any date cards or like they're just gonna be there
to be like aren't they old? Like Seth, Let's and Anna,
we haven't heard your takes yet, let's hear it.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Seth you first, I was shocked, but I have to
say I'm more pleased than bummed. The fact that they
the the way they're shooting is totally different. The opening
is totally different, the narrative is totally different. It seems
like it's shot on film instead of video. There's like
a richness, gorgeous, like sixteen millimeter.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, give that DP in Oscar like the.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
DP get several emmys. Yeah, it's Did you.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Did you watch that Netflix show with Kyle what's his name?
From like Friday Night is Bloodline? A few years ago
on Netflix?

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Honestly, it's one of my favorite shows of all time?
Did you?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
I agree with you? The first two seasons are incredible,
credible with Ben mendelssoh who's.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
So Good's my favorite actress.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
He's incredible and he was so scarree in that. I'm
going to rewatch that. But you remember the opening, dangerous
opening credits of Bloodline. That's what this is, but with
sex young people.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yes, and they added a rap What do you mean
they did? Did? There's like they re they.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
Recorded into song is remixed.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
They re recorded almost paradise, so it's a different singer,
not the original singer. And then there's a breakdown wrap
in the middle.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Any wait, that's incredible. I'm okay. Final final question before
we go to Anna. Did they just fire Hannah Brown?

Speaker 3 (06:17):
No, she was in the she was in the first episode. Okay,
but then I think she comes back bad.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Shorts because she's super hot, and I'm like, give the
girl something better than like weird mid calf safari shorts. Okay,
Doctor Banana overall, So so you like it?

Speaker 3 (06:32):
I like it overall?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Overall, I'd say like because they it used to look
like they shot it on like a zoom master, like
a zoom master.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Like shink shink cha shink.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
You know, they shot it on their phones, and they
edited it right before we watched it, like that's what
it looked before.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I feel like you like it?

Speaker 2 (06:49):
You like I like the new I feel like it's
more mature, like they're taking it seriously, even though the
content is just as ridiculous and dumb, but it highlights
the stupid drama in a way that they shot at
like a drama.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Oh no, do you hate you like or not?

Speaker 3 (07:03):
I like it. I'm more into it.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
Are you into the fantasy sequences that they like script?

Speaker 3 (07:08):
And yes, hilarious.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
It's comedy When what's his name was getting the massaged
and he was thinking about the other day, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
It's comedy.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's pretty okay, Okay, okay, okay, Doctor Banana. What's your
take on the Kochi version of the redo.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
I agree with Seth. I'm enjoying how weird it is.
I think it's it's the HD of it all is crazy.
You can see every pore on every single person's face.
I would be so upset. I know if I was
one of the women and I got too close to
the camera and you're like, wow, okay, makeup. Huh, Yes,
I would be very upset. But I also like the

(07:45):
fantasy sequences. I like the when Dale's on the boat
and like Cat's like daydreaming about him and he's like
spraying his crush.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, it's a little dirtier. I'm going to give best
face to Cat. I don't know what she did. I
know there's a new teeth involved, but I'm gonna give
the best overall because she was always hot. She's always
been hot. But whatever, it's subtle, it's not too much.
I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna give
best like facial stuff, like whether it's filler threads, who knows,

(08:16):
best new face to Cat.

Speaker 4 (08:19):
She looks great, it.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Looks incredible, and she's somehow keeping her shit together. Katie,
what did you think we episodes.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Two and three, I'm gonna be real, I actively dislike
it now. I think it's there's like you said, there's
so much happening, but I find it to be so
boring because they're not, you know, because they're not giving
anyone a chance. Like they're having people show up and
they're there for like two hours and then they're leaving,
and yeah, that is really And I saw people and

(08:48):
read it literally like they were like, if they're gonna,
like I don't know how Love Island works, but if
like they're gonna copy that, they should just if you
don't get a rose, it doesn't mean you automatically get
go home. Maybe only like one person goes home. I
saw people like suggesting that on Reddit because they said
the same thing, like it's like too quick of a turnover.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Okay, yeah, it's just.

Speaker 5 (09:09):
Like it's like they tried to do too much at
once and I can't just wanting to change it and
like make it, you know, better, but I was like,
you tried way too much at once.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
It feels like a newly divorced dad who's been with
his college since with his college sweetheart for like twenty
five years, and he's made some money and he just
just got accepted the riot and he like and he
has he's got some hair plugs and he's got sort
of a daddy vibe on and he's like he's got
Alimoni's a little pissed to his ex wife. But he's

(09:41):
just like on a buck tear around like Manhattan because
he has like a time. He's not loaded, because enough
money that he can like impress a twenty seven year
old and he's just doing and.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
He's really a fitness now.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, he's really a fitness. He started bring bracelets.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Ye, he's wearing bracelets. Is just doing a lot of
like sylobocybin is like microdosing mushrooms. Yes, yet, but when
he goes biking, he wears the full gear.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
He's got the full gears, got the Klicki shoes, He's
got the click he walks in the Starbucks, the clicky shoes.
It's this guy. He's discovered like testosterone supplements and like protein.
He calls himself the pro goat, like the road. That's
what's like. That's like I feel like a divorced dad
who who's dating not college girls, but like twenty six

(10:29):
year olds that want to work at Sotherby's yeah, yeah, okay,
so it's like you, hey, hey, kids, you remember Mandy.
So that's who's making this show. Like so okay, let's
just I want to just okay. So then number two
the other hand, I want to discuss and we could
just I think this can be our first segment overall time.
We'll start with the young ones. Yeah, I'm mean, because

(10:51):
again is I can't. If I was to take us
through each episode written out, we would be here for
fifteen hours.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
So here's what we do.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
I'm talking. Segment is called The Land of the Jays Jeremy,
Jonathan and Justin Justin Okay, a tale of gaslighting you've
never seen. The men are so toxic and it does
show you how our sweet bachelorette these were all from
her season what's her name? Jen? She had. These dudes

(11:22):
are such trash bags. The the gaslighting, the the light, they're.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
All very out for themselves.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Energy and then the twist around of like gaslighting the
women that they rejected and then they're scrambling for a
rose and then they're like, how could you do that
to me? Which of the Jays do you want to
start with? Seth oh, Justin should we start with Justin.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Let's start with Justin his drama. His whole drama is
just unfolded.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
So Justin was with Bailey, and Justin picked Bailey.

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Over, he was with Lexi.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Okay, that's right. Oh that's right. Okay, that's right. I
get so confused.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
It's hard to get everyone confused.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
I mean, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
There's too many people, and then they're not there long
enough so that they don't make an impact in your brain,
and then you're like, who the fuck was that?

Speaker 1 (12:08):
What happened yesterday? So Justin was with Lexi, who I'm
going to say became a total drip, to be fair
to Justin, lex became a real drip. And even though
Justin was being a poudy baby for his fourth time
on this franchise, coming around Okay, so he's clearly like,
I got to keep this spot. I don't have a
real job. I need to be able to add some

(12:30):
Instagram I got to keep this a lot.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
It feels like his drama is the most important drama
in the world. Whatever he's going through, he's really taking
it seriously like no one else. There's nothing else that
could possibly compare to what I'm going through, Like, so.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
That makes him so not he's so self conscious and
not fun. We've met so many of these contestants and
the one that get self conscious of like not wanting
to be portrayed as a bad guy, but at the
end of the day, probably you are a bad guy.
Like but like self conscious about yourself so boring. I'll
tell you off air who I met in real life

(13:03):
that was so up his own ass. And then they
so he he's coming in like a real drip like
put upon that he's back, Okay, So he tears off
with Lexiihood and Demetrio says she wadded a baby, and
they're like, we're both thirty one. We're at a point
in our lives. We don't have time to fuck around.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
We're discussing. We're old.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
We're fucking crones. We're thirty one, revolting, disgusting.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
They kicked off the island, just remained from thirty one.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah, it's like I like a turtle that's like their
eggs in the sand, like crusty old it's egg sandy eggs. Disgusting.
So then they hook up. She then starts getting weird
because he's broken up with Susie and she's like angry
that he's not flirting with other women, like what the fuck?

(13:51):
And then so she's like you should be and he's like,
but I feel like that would show to you that
I like you. She's like, I just feel like you're
playing me, Like why aren't you talking to anyone? She sucked? Right?

Speaker 3 (14:01):
What did you do?

Speaker 1 (14:02):
That conversation.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Just confusing and dumb.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
I feel like most of the conversations we have to
sit through just dumb conversations, Like what do normal intelligence
people have these same conversations, Like there's a lot of
subtext of what they really want to say that they
never say. Yeah, if they're coming at it with this
hard emotional tact of like not really saying what they
really mean all the time, every conversation is like a

(14:28):
manipulation of some sort.

Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yes, they're always talking about like what they want and
like what they're looking for and how they're being intentional.
And then my favorite thing is when when something's not
going their way, they go but that's paradise, Like they're like,
and you know, like I could be pushed off this
bridge with a broken heart, but.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
That they shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
They should look at the camera and wink every time
they say that.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
Every excuse is like, but you know what that is
what paradise is. It's really really fuck up social experiment
that fucks us all up. And that's why old justin
here is like a walking like zombie who's like I've
seen it all, like you think he's like a vet.
Like the way he acts of like he's been like
through the Paradise Wars, like Fourth War.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
A thousand yard stare into the sea.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yet that reminds me doctor Banana and I because I'm
coming to New York last minute. I just decided to
come to New York. So we just just were like,
fuck it, let's do a show at Union Hall. So
we've decided to do a Paradise show where we trust
like Rama Island.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
It's a great idea.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Will you come in like Espedo or something and do
Love Island. It's on the twentieth Will you come of
August August?

Speaker 3 (15:43):
I may not be here, will be in Spain?

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Where you going in Spain?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
My YORKA.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh that's paradise if I can get that's fair, guys.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
I'm gonna get voted off that island, no for sure.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
So then Susie. So then she's like, I'm just threatened
because you just I just I can't. I need to
take a pause on this relationship because you just broke
up a Cez's like four months ago. Cue Susie lightning.
Here comes Susie with an umbrella in the rain. Susie
like a little doll, a little QB doll showing up.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
Also a little different.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, a new face on her face. Good work, they've
gotten good news.

Speaker 6 (16:30):
The work.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
I think it's her third face.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Can I also just say it's a while to have
a new face at thirty, you know what I mean? Like,
at what point? I mean, there's a lot of new
faces out in the public eye right now. I mean
the best one allegedly apparently Anne Hathaway has like a
real top, top tier new face, and everybody's everybody's jonesing

(16:52):
after she's forty one, Like, what that's what? It looks incredible?

Speaker 4 (16:58):
Have you seen Alanis recently?

Speaker 3 (17:01):
The woman is set?

Speaker 4 (17:02):
The woman is twenty one years old.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
I need to look no, I need to look.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
A lot more set. It's a new face and grill
whoever is doing this one?

Speaker 1 (17:10):
I mean, I gotta say, I feel like In the
last six months, technology has really up their game on
new face.

Speaker 4 (17:16):
I think plastic surgeons should be like in the running
for like medal of honor, like.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Oh my god, an oscar for best new Face.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Incredible?

Speaker 4 (17:27):
Whoever is doing this work?

Speaker 3 (17:29):
What about the Zach Effron face everyone's been Oh.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
The one who like broke his jaws jaw.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Oh that's also I mean, we'll cut I'll say something
later so Katie doesn't have to cut out. There's there's
two new there's two other guys with new jaws. You like, Wow,
you just doubled in within Like that doesn't at forty
does your jaw? You wake up on your fortieth birthday
and you're officially a man and you've got like three jobs.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
Well, that's I like also the excuse of well, I
tripped and fell, so naturally I had to get a
new job.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Us I have a deviated septum, so I did six
new new noses.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
That's what everyone says. Oh, I had to I had
a deviate sceptum.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Okay, So so then so Susie comes back and clearly
they were in you can tell they were also coupled
off in real life just to stay try to stay
relevant where they're like, I remember we were best friends,
Like yeah, right, Justin was your best friend, Susie. And
then we made the difficult decision to be to take it. Oh,

(18:31):
we decided to become like lovers, and then we broke
up when we realized nobody cared and like we had
to date each other and nobody was caring.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Paradise was coming up.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
So then Paradise comes up. We had the opportunity because
we didn't actually like each other. It was like a
you know, a Hollywood arranged couple to like, you know,
cover up something back in the fifties and like so
then you come back and then like so cute Susie
and they're like we're cool, right, So then Lexi's like
I'm in So then he gives like she's trying to

(19:04):
get the rose and then this fool panicked at the
rose ceremony after he started flirting with Alexi gives it
to Susie. Yeah, such a drama queen. And the acting
the acting was so soap operas, like I.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Can't Justin, No, I can't no he why did she
reject it? Was that the plot line when she's like
we're gonna bring you on the show. You're gonna manipulate
Justin and then you're gonna say no to the Rose?
Is that like the scripted I understand what happened.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
There, Anna, I will say Justin and Lexi exchanged a
few Instagram comments that we're quite messy. Where apparently right
before that Rose ceremony, the Lexi was basically like, well,
I'm like basically don't like, I don't know if this
is gonna work because I'll never leave La and you'll

(19:55):
never leave Atlanta. So like, basically she gave him a
bunch of mixed messaging that this is what he said
and that, like there was all this like confusion. So
he was like, oh, then if she's not going to work,
then let me at least throw.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Susie a BOONEXO. We know that he sucks.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Oh no, he sucks. But then and then she went
back at him and was like, that's not exactly what.
I don't know. I don't know what was exchange, but
I guess the conversation they had really threw him for
a loop. So he was like, she doesn't even like me,
No one likes me, and then yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
He's such an idiot? What led him you to see
Mittens right now on my bachelor notebook with her hand
on the notebook.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Come on, look at that star looks cutie, What a cutie.
I love her mask, her batman.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Mask and her little she's got thumb, she's like writing
it out. Okay. So then so then she's like okay.
So then Justin and we also need to also just
back up here for a second and say that Jeremy's
been with Bailey and took Susie on a date, so
in order to get to the final row, so everybody
thinks he's going to pick Susie because they have this

(20:55):
great datisic. I really like Susie after and then he Picksley.
So Jeremy or Justin gives Susie the rose. She's like,
I can't. So then Justin goes in pouts in the
room and gas. He's like, I don't. I won't even
talk to her. And she's like I need to talk
to her. I need to talk to Justin, and he's like,

(21:16):
she doesn't. He doesn't want to talk.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
He does want to talk to you, as if she
he like she drowned his dog, as if something awful happens,
like something genuinely awful, like.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
He won't even talk to you.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
She didn't accept a rose after they knew each Like
that's the drama, Like she don't even I can't even
look at you right now, so dumb.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
So then they send her back and everyone and they're like, well,
justin you still have a rose. Who do you want
to give it to? So he picks poor ding Dong Jill.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
That should be her chiron ding do Poor ding don
Jill was.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Like, actually, like a nice weirdo just trying to be
a person. No one wants to like bone her. No,
she she knows it, and she seems like a smart,
cool person who's like, you know what, I like myself
enough fuck this place, like absolutely not, like I like
myself more than this. So then she gets like the

(22:17):
pity rose after she went on a date with Jonathan
where they did twist her. He kissed her and was
like and then we'll get to that later. We'll get
to that and his Jonathan storyline. So he gives Jill
the rose and she was like, fuck, no, get me
out of here.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, I don't want it. I thought I was done
Now I gotta stay. Oh god, they pulled me back in.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
And they're like He's like, I really don't want it.
I don't want it. They're like, come on, Jill. She
was like, okay, thanks for the rose did like I
don't want to be He didn't even give it to
a Lexi. Okay, yeah, he didn't even give it to
a Lexi. And then he leaves like well, it's just garbage,
like an absolute did it to yourself? He's a ship

(23:00):
just absolute garbage. Doctor Banana thought.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
I thought that whole sequence was hilarious. It was happening here.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Why Jill? And then why does he make himself? He's like,
I'm leaving.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
Lexi is like I'm leaving as well. And she's wearing
slippers the whole time, which I was like, wow, great, great,
like sort of breaking the fourth wall of.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Like, wait, she wore slippers when.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
When everything like fell apart, and it's like they are like, justin,
where did you go?

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Can we take a pause before we get to the slippers.
My favorite thing of this reboot is the locked off
wide Wes Anderson shots and then you cue the running
cameraman across the frame.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Oh, that was the best. The guy is running, the running, scurrying.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
It's like a Wes Anderson like like a farce, the
running to go get my.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
My only note, not enough of the crew. More crew.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I want to see more crew because that makes it
feel authentic and genuine that something crazy is happening.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
So just more crew.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Yes, Okay, So she's wearing slippers.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
Yeah, well, I mean she's wearing like sandals. It looks
like they they're allowed to take their heels off because
of the rose ceremony last so long. Yeah. Yeah, So
she just like looked like she's wearing those like, you know,
like pedicure style, like oh Sam, She's I don't know
if they really were, but that's what they look like.
And she was like, I'm out of here. We're not staying.
And then she's just like walked off. She was gone.
She's like call me a cab dude.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Here's like, okay, here's I'll do one more JA before
the break and then we'll come back and do it.
Here's my okay, second jay I want to do. I
want to do Jonathan and I want to talk about
what a piece of shit? Both he and Jeremy the
Kissing Booth game. Both of them and Bryan put every
woman on the list. Jeremy only got one person, Jonathan,

(25:07):
who's hooked up with cute Alex, who was first sand.
She was the first one down there. So in theory,
she's supposed to have the most status as the gals.
She's like Achel writer she was and like has So
Jonathan has four women to go make out with him.
For a guy who's as hot and desired as he is,
he's absolutely become a pieceive shit. Not only is he boring,

(25:32):
but as we discovered in episode three at his interaction
with Jill, he's an absolute trash bag and he like
the guys just they're so gross of like, I want
to keep my options open. He didn't talk ever to
Alex at all. He didn't try remotely. He's so boring.

(25:54):
His only question is what makes you weird to everyone?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
You know what he is to me? He's what I
call a topknot. He's a guy who has like a
top knots head. He's really into like yoga and healing
and like connecting and being intentional, but he's really just
out for himself.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
He's just out for himself.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
And has no personality.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, exactly, that's this whole thing, a topknot.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
They're like they have this whole presentation of how like
like you know, like I'm really about like healing myself
and working on myself and like making sure you're cool
and our energies are good. But like he's just a
shit back. There's a lot of those guys, and he's
one of them.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
I know. Okay, doctor Banana, your thought on Jonathan top
not shit back.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
I mean an absolute idiot. I don't even understand. It's like,
you're so attractive, Like how are you blowing this?

Speaker 1 (26:51):
He's so attractive and no one feels any Okay, So
for the listeners who don't watch, he's connected with Alex.
He's a fun little ding dong. But by the way,
if I was a coach, just go in to the
kissing booth and give your best kiss unless you don't
want to kiss the person, but you put their name down,
so nobody forced you to go into the kissing but

(27:11):
you didn't have their name down. You couldn't put no
one if you don't want to kiss anyone. So this
was I'm like Love Island where you kind of have
to kiss everyone. This one you actually have a choice,
so you've chosen to go in. It's the guy you're
talking to for five days, you can't have one. You're like,
what is this? What are you doing? Okay, that's fine

(27:31):
if that's who you are, don't go on the Bachelor.
What I'm saying, They're like like like what, like you're thirty,
Like you can't have you wrote him down? Go kiss
the guy? Am I wrong? Doctor Banana?

Speaker 3 (27:47):
No? Yeah? Why then I agree? Why are they making
a big deal about it.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
It's just like it seems like very normal part of
the show, and you should.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Be able to if you're going to be coupled off
for five days, see if you can have a good kiss.
This is your opportunity to be like post for a second.
Even if it's in the broad daylight, you have privacy.
I know there's a camera person there, but like fun,
kissing is fun if you like it, like Jonathan's hot
that go have a fun a harmless kiss. You don't

(28:13):
have to. There's nothing more promised. If you've written their name,
now go go try a kiss. Banana.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
Yeah, I mean she's an odd ball as well. There
are a few odd ones that you're like wasted potential.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
So he goes on a double date with he goes
on the double dancing date right where they tork the
balls out of the clean next box?

Speaker 4 (28:41):
Was that? Was he on that date?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
Was he on that date?

Speaker 4 (28:44):
Brian Lisa? And then Ali Joe? And oh was it Jonathan?
It might have been Jonathan.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
You're right, I think Jonathan went on the date.

Speaker 4 (28:53):
Maybe yeah, I think so, yeah, because.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Dale wasn't on that date. Dale had a different day
with Ali Joe. So I think he was on the
date with Susie who is on the.

Speaker 4 (29:05):
Date Ali Joe? Right, said Ali Joe, who came in together.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, so he was on the date. I just feel
like he thinks he's so handsome that that's enough. And
this is what he did. Also on Jen season, she's like,
I didn't tell if you like me, and at the
very last second he was like I love you.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
So yeah, he doesn't right, And.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
He's also like, what do you mean you can't tell?
So that he takes So then poor Jill comes in.
No one will go on the date with her. She
can't get any traction coming in.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
You can't get arrested in Paradise, saying.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Because she's cute, she's fun, No one's interested.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
She seems too smart and normal.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
I think, yeah, she's too regular and so so she's
she's like, well, he's like yeah, So he goes on
the date, and I will say they have a pretty
cute date. They actually he makes the worst bloody Mary
that anyone's ever had. He's embarrassed that he was a
bartender for a month. He's tear orble at it. They
play twister, he kisses her, he doesn't have to, and
they actually seemed like it was the most personality we've

(30:08):
seen from him. Yeah, and then he and he actually
says to her before the rose ceremony when he holds
all the cards and by the way, the guys are
such shit bags the second they hold the cards, like
when the women all the cards, they try a little bit.
When they hold the cards, they're like, well, I'm got
to keep my options. So these bitch is getting real clinging.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, yeah, I need to explore, Like I'm really here
to explore, and you know, see where these go on
my journey.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
So then so then he says to Jill before the
rose ceremony, you make it a really hard and you
don't utter that in it's like any personality. So he
doesn't pick her, but she gets the pity ros she stays.
She goes on a date with Ken and they actually
have a great time, like Barbie Ken guy, like ding

(30:56):
down with the butt Chinclaugh, the villain Worth go Round
whatever his name was, his name.

Speaker 4 (31:02):
Sean Sean Sean, and.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
They go on an ATV date and like, I feel
like much like Kat who's been the villain, and they're
like good friends in real life. He behaves, he's gracious
with her, he's a gentleman with her. He's actually for
someone who's been such a piece of shit on this franchise.
He was, he showed up and actually did a nice job.

(31:28):
He gave Jill a good date. Ye, So then they're
kind of connecting. I'm sure it's fake, but he's actually like,
give the guy a little credit for he didn't he
actually didn't phone it in, and like they seem to
actually giggle and have a good time. And he was
a gentleman. Whether he was coached to do that, he
actually took the coaching.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Well.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
So then she comes back, it's getting time for the
rose ceremony, and Jonathan I feel like he was a
little buzzed when this went down at the bar, which.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
Oh yeah, he had some glazed eye.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Doctor Banana tell her viewers at home what happened.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
I mean, I don't know what happened. It was the
dumbest thing I've ever seen. He's like, I just want
to make sure you're okay and that you understand that
I think that you should be okay because I I
I'm just I just want to know if you're upset,
because like it seems like you're upset, but like I am,
Are you okay? Because I just want you to be okay?

Speaker 1 (32:25):
And she's like, I'm fine. I just had a great day.
I find I would.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Say, in the top ten rankings of all dumbest conversations
I've ever been aired on the show, it's top three,
top three, And like earnestness, the earnestness of the dumb conversation,
and what made it actually interesting is the fact that
he was there just to try to get her to
like him again. So it was the most obvious obvious manipulation.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
He's gaslighting guys of him trying to make her feel
like the bad guy was so crazy. So we've just
had Jeremy wild Out give the rose to Susie cry,
make it seem like she's hurt his feelings and going
I will not even talk to her. Fuck her. Like

(33:14):
these guys who are like, you've hurt me, now you
have to deal with you have to fucking come apologize
to me, bitch, and the I'm like Jonathan, like, how
dare you when I told you your friend zoned make
me and you're telling me you're fine. Fuck no, I'm
so upset right now that I friend zoned you and

(33:36):
you're not hurt about it. Fuck you. These guys are
so toxic doctor Banana.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
Uh yeah. And also my favorite thing about all that
is everyone is surrounding them being like this conversation is crazy.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
I know, so sad.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Everyone is.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
Everyone's fake listening and they were they aware that everyone
was listening.

Speaker 4 (33:58):
No, no, because everyone was like oh it was like,
so I O a cat.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Taylor, like we're going to eat prinkles even though we
haven't had carbs in seventeen years. This is natural and believable.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
Right yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh, but then I liked Jill's eventual mature take on
it. It was like I do understand what's happening here, Like
you think it fine, I'm fine? Are we done?

Speaker 3 (34:18):
Now?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
We're done? Because you want me to be fine? Because
like I, you know, liked you and you rejected me,
and now I'm fine.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
I really don't care. He's like, okay, but I really
want you to. I want to know that you're care.
She didn't care. She didn't care.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
So then the Goldens come in. Yeah yet no airtime,
and and April, on her way to bed says to Jonathan,
my door is second on the right. So then one
of the producers at the very end we know there's
a road ceremony coming up. At the beginning of the
episode four, somebody goes, what about April? So they're playing.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Second on the right, second on the right.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Like this fantasy, like in his head, replaying it over
and over again, which the faciliest part is, you know,
April didn't count the doors.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
She just was a joke. That was a total throwaway joke.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I love April.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
There's no way she counted hit.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
And kissed who took the hit and kissed Keith, who
then is so disgusting and called her the little blonde
and like didn't even know her name.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I love that he called it was he the one
who called her a girl. She's a great girl.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
She's eighty nine years old.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
She's a great girl didn't know her name. There's four
women there. I kissed the little blonde. Disgusting.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
He loves that none of the old people know each
other's names.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Disgusting.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
There's the blonde, the one from Scranton, the one who cries.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Pathy. Okay, So then so basically we've left it and Jonathan,
they've made it seem like he might cross her fuck
and we also found out who's twist.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
So far we don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
So we don't know who boned somebody twenty five years
their senior.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
No, no, we don't know that one.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
They wouldn't tell us what Jess's secret was. They just
like went over it really quickly and didn't tell us.
They did a few times where they were like it
wasn't clear what the secret was. It's like they just
didn't want to air it.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, that's fun.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
And the person that's my secret, and I'm like, well,
what was the secret?

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Sounds like wakes secret makes me go, oh, you're a
little bit of a piece of shit, Like if you
cheat in college and you're a chemical engineer, you're a
little shady in college.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Maybe it was just I give him credit that maybe
there's like one test or one.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Lab your career.

Speaker 4 (36:37):
Okay, my dad is a civil engineer who worked on
the Bay Bridge. Honestly, if you if you had met
my dad, don't be driving on the pay bridge. Is
all I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Is like.

Speaker 4 (36:50):
The man drinks more wine than like anyone should drink,
starting at like nine am. And he was like, don't worry.
The bridge is safe.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
It's like I'm obsessed with a doctor.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
No. Yes, the people who run I do you know
the people who run and build the infrastructure of this country.
I don't know what's going on before we.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Take a quick break and come back and talk about
our final Jay Jeremy, I want to find out how
my sister in law, cat Rosie's doing.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
Yeah, Rosie's fine, She's living her best life.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Is she give me one Rosie story.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
I haven't heard anything recent. I just get like photos
here and there of like the cats just so.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
They're like best friends. The cats are best friends. Yeah,
And so she sleeps every night with your brother and
then has playdates every day at your mom's house with
your cat.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
Yeah, and they just sit and tear out the window
and like apparently try and attack the birds they can't
get to.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
But they're always like side by side.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah, they do everything together.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's nice. Think about her his and on my guest
house during that podcast. And now she's living living her
best life for the hose in as. Now she's a
Whino and she's wearing matching shirts with your dad and
his best friend. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break
and right.

Speaker 7 (38:13):
Backs and we're back.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Okay, So we've talked about Justin, We've talked about Jonathan,
and now we're going to talk about Jeremy. Jeremy, Jeremy
a fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Shit. He doesn't even seem to have any self awareness
that what he's doing is at all shady or weird
or selfish. Like he seems totally like I'm definitely the
road here and the victim did yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
He Okay, So for those let's get Mittens off the counter,
for those playing along at home who don't watch. So,
he's hooked up with Bailey. Mitten's get down. He's hooked
up with Bailey, and come here, girl, I'm feeding Mittens.
He's hooked up with Bailey, and incomes Susie and they
go on a date and he's all in. He's like,

(39:25):
Susie's a great girl. It's really hard, but I like
literally the whole time, except for when the very first
rose he gets the first rose from Bailey, and then
and then the second they have the power. He's like, god,
I gotta keep my this is paradise. I've got to
keep my options open, like get off my nut, like

(39:46):
are you I gotta? I really want to like basically
play the field, like don't ring me in, Bailey. So
then Susie arrives and he's like, Susie's great. I thought
he was gonna give his rose to Susie. He gave
it to Bailey. Susie justin tries to keep Susie. Susie

(40:06):
gets like fuck no, Susie leaves.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
So then Susie would have stayed if Jeremy had given hers.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, yes on the first Like you don't want to
be a second pick? Yeah, so he didn't. So then
so he didn't. You didn't get pitched. I think a
lot of the girls are like, yeah, you didn't pick.
I don't want to be your second choice, Like the
guys are such dicks. So then she's like, okay, not
for me. She had a little bit of elegance. She

(40:35):
took that new face out of there is like, get
me out of here looking great, cries so her, she's
so such a pretty crier. So then so then Bailey
in comes the new guy with a fake British accent.
Jonathan was who is that Thomas? What's his name?

Speaker 4 (40:54):
Andrew?

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Andrew the fake British accent didn't work for me? Then
it doesn't work for me. Love, it's not good, Andrew.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
You gotta if.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Mary Pop is like, he's so cute and he's dick
van Dyke to and so.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
Like.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
So then he he comes in, uh, asks Bailey. He
talks to Bailey, and Alex asks Bailey on the date
is pouring rain, thunder and lightning. As Billy on the day,
I think the engineer is here as the Bailey in
the day, I'm just multitasking. I'm feeding cats, I'm fixing

(41:43):
the air conditioning. But this is what we do on
a Sunday morning when I'm working in Atlanta. Okay, So
he takes Billy in the date. Fucking Jeremy is such
a piece of ship, freaking out, freaking out.

Speaker 4 (41:57):
I want Susie back.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
He's a dick about it, en rage and the producer's like, well,
she's got like, we'll get her on the phone, like,
well you can DM her after no, no, please, I
need you, And he was such a dick to the producer,
I need you to FaceTime Susie, so entitled Katie, we
haven't heard from you in a bit, the Jeremy producer entitlement.

(42:23):
After he's been like I'm gonna play the field, Bailey
goes on one day after he's the night before, I
been out on the pick with Susie and then she
gets us out. She's like, well, I shouldn't be a problem.
He just went on a date. I'm gonna go on
a date. And he's like, you told me you were
locked in. I'm just really hurt by this. Are you

(42:44):
shitting me? I just feel really played by you. After
he just kissed Susie in the rain, I was like,
I wish Susie was here.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
And he's like going around going should I have picked Susie?
Maybe I should have picked Susie. Like he's saying that
to everybody.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Heats of shit. So then he he's like, I just
feel really played. Bailey's really manipulative. You need to get
Susie on the foot now. I need it now. Facetimer.
So then they FaceTime and he's like where are you.
She's like, I'm at the airport and he's like, I
made a mistake.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
She's like, tough shit, I'm not coming back there.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
She's the only person in this show that's done the
right thing. Okay, Katie, what did you think about Jeremy's
storyline here? He sucks?

Speaker 4 (43:29):
He sucks. They're all entitled.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
You're right, they're just they're all just panicking here in
the guarantee their next rows. That's the only thing they
care about, and.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
It's so hypotritical. This is also a group of guys
who've been on TV and they've had twelve months. We
met James Taylor right after his run on So this
is a group of guys who stock went up and
have been like getting laid one year straight.

Speaker 5 (43:55):
Yes, you definitely see it, like especially in Jonathan, but
Jeremy who.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
And Jeremy was not he was sort of the underdog
in gen season he got So these are guys that
have been getting laid for a year straight every night
from different hot women, and they're like, hold all the
cards and are our dicks? These guys have become such dicks.
Doctor banana.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
Yeah, Jeremy who fall from Grace, Like what a it was.
It was like petulant, like you're like, get a crack,
get over. She's gonna go get a uti and sit
in coffee like whatever. It's fine, It's not that big
a deal she's got.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
I mean, I know that maybe he's doing it's part
of the show, and he wants to be part of
the show. But the bigger part of the show is
you go on dates with people show relationships, and you
go on the dates that's the show.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
Are you bad that she's doing what the show is?

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Can you allow to Are you even allowed to say
I don't want to go on that date with that person?

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (44:58):
Yeah, yeah, you can turn them down.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
So watching Jonathan what he did to Jill, and then
Jeremy what he did to Bailey, and then on the
phone to Susie, and then justin desperately trying to stay
on and go I won't even talk to her. These
three guys are such fucking they're just DM monsters. You know,

(45:23):
they have their dms full. They've just been getting laid
and they're fucking nightmares, absolute nightmare. Seth break it down
for me. You're a man.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
I mean, look, it doesn't take a lot for a
guy to feel entitled, and they're also like incredibly territorial
and jealous over nothing like there's it's very normal, actually
stupidly normal, that a guy would be like, I'm gonna
play the field and see what's out there. But if
I feel connection with someone once, it's I don't have anymore.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
How dare you do that to me? How dare you
play the game should be the show that we're on.
How dare you play by the rules and do the
thing that we're here for. I'm so hurt.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
And then I felt bad for Bailey. She comes in
crying to her friends. I feel so bad for.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
Him, like why what? Why would you even care? For
two seconds?

Speaker 2 (46:14):
And then she has a pretty fun day with Andrew
and then comes back. It's like, you know, I really
feel like I'm in love with Jeremy.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
I know that was I felt for Bailey. I was like,
it was actually interesting watching because I've been gas lip
before and it was interesting watching and it's worked on me,
and I was interesting watching it work on someone and
going never again, never again. Well, I apologize for your
bad behavior, ye never again. They're all doing it. All

(46:44):
of them are going, how dare you? And then they're
kind of apologizing for the guy with the guy do
you have to be able to hold somebody accountable? And
like Jeremy should see Oh my god, Okay, talk to
us Anna.

Speaker 4 (46:57):
Let's move to so I'm saying, like everyone, all the
women are a pausing, except for Zoe, who's straight up
like sharpening her knives, dude to cut your throat in
the middle of the night, which I appreciate.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Well, let's move on to Zoe, Zoe and Brian. Brian
looks the guys are except for our sweet dorky Spencer.
The guys are such pieces of shit. So here comes Brian,
Brian covering himself in jis in the opening credits.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Do you remember Brian's bio is that he's like the
son of like an NYPD officer and then like a
like New York fireman.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
If you hadn't told me that, that would have been
my first guest.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Yeah. I remember that because I was like, oh, this
man's gonna be a nightmare.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Yeah, you're right, I do not remember the bio, but
that all that all really tracks.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
I mean, he literally plays the part, whether it's true
or not.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Yeah, well I have to also say, so there's a uh,
there's a woman I know who will not date tall
guys because she says their personality gets diffused if they're
too tall. Their whole personality is just being I'm tall.
That's it. That it's spread the cells spread out too much.

(48:17):
So if you have a yeah that like too tall
is just I'm tall, and like the entitlement with like
all doors of open for tall you don't really have
to try too hard if you're tall. That like there's
like if you want somebody kind of fun, you're probably
not going to get that with too tall and that like,
so I feel like because he's really tall, and I
think his whole personality is just tall son of a cop.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
I love I love how sort of like he thinks
he's hilarious and thinks he's so jovial. My favorite thing
is when he does his little tag taglines in the interviews.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
He's like, it's about to get crazy, it's paradise.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
I love that he's so happy with the thing he
came up with, idiot, proud of it, but it's third
the dumbest, simplest taglines. My imagination he's like, I, guys,
I got it, I got it. Put turn it on,
turn the cameras on. I got the best tagline ever. Ready,
it's paradise, and you know it's gonna get real.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Right. Isn't that perfect? Isn't that perfect? Like he says,
the most obvious.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
Thing is paradise is paradise does it's his paradise. That
is what Nanna always said, This paradig guy. I got it.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
Yeah, I got it, guys, turn it on.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Because he's tall. That's tall guy syndrome.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Yeah. So he was hooked up with Zoe who a
lot when we did our draft picks. The guy thought
she was gonna be the hottest commodity because she's so
smoking hot. But she is such a drip. Her personality
is such a drip. But he was also like she

(49:56):
was searched up with Brian. He was like, I want
athlete babies. She's tall, so then tall he's tall so
then so then he was like, whoa, she's clinging, which
was not really accurate. She had n't been clinging yet.
And then incomes Parisa, who, if I recall, had photoshop
wedding outfits for her and Grant and then and has

(50:18):
a lot of and has her cat, which I respect.
And then and then what was his How did he
go on a date with Parisa? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (50:29):
That was the with Ali Joe and Jonathan where they
went to that thing where they had to like dance.
He climbed him.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
That's right, and she like basically sixty nine him on air.

Speaker 4 (50:39):
That was actually I was. I was like disturbed and
impressed at the same time.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
I actually was trying to think of who I've dated
that I could climb and climb around like that? Who
could hold me?

Speaker 4 (50:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (50:50):
I could climb under the taint area up and around
like a little Rieze's monkey, Like who could I scamper
all over? I was trying to figure out who I
could climb? Who could if all the guys I've gone
out with, which one I could have climbed like a tree?
I think, yeah, there's been like two I could have climbed. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,

(51:13):
doctor Branana, there's somebody that you could have scampered around?

Speaker 4 (51:17):
I think just one, but that Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
Great, Katie. Could you scamper up and around anybody from
your past?

Speaker 4 (51:28):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (51:29):
Oh, I don't know if anyone is like tall enough,
Like yeah, yeah, it's the getting under the leg portion
that was.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
It was like like luckless bridge the tunnel, Like, here's
the fucking fallen down if I'm getting under.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
She turned into one of those bugs she's so obsessed with,
Like she's like, I was like, what is happening?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
I feel like I like her and I feel bad
that she likes Bria. You know, I see she seems
nice enough, she seems like a fun a little weird,
and then she sucks like like he'll definitely play like
trade he'll do a trade in for her.

Speaker 4 (52:06):
So I don't remember if you remember this, but his
bio Allo said he was obsessed with botox. Really yeah,
he's like really into botox. That was like a sweet
part of his bio botox. I mean he doesn't have
a good person doing it. I worked HD.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
I work with somebody who's real puffy. I work with
someone who's fantastic in their forties, who looks great, whose
forehead doesn't move. And they said they've never had botox,
and they've trained themselves and they will, including during sex,
have never will never move their forehead.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
That's that is my mom. My mom is like that.
My mom will sometimes look at me and say stop
reacting so much, you'll get wrinkles.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
And I'm like, stop reacting.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Said, I'm like, this woman looks inredible and she looks great.
I'm like, shut.

Speaker 4 (53:02):
Those emotions off, honey, you're gonna look fifty.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
I get to go back to my New England roots.
I gotta go back in time and just keep it
fucking still pushed down. Just shove it down, down down.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
Yeah, keep it out of goddamn simmer at all times,
and all out a simmer.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
I don't want to see you surprised or angry once?
How dare you look surprised?

Speaker 1 (53:27):
How dare you? I cut you and you look surprised,
and then nobody picked me? How dare you have looked surprised?
And then why do you come back and try to
pick me again when I cut you? How dare you? Okay?
So so he I will say, Zoe kind of didn't
do herself a favor. He was like, hey, I don't

(53:48):
like you anymore. She's like what the fuck? It's like, okay,
well you've been with them for two days, so that's allowed.
You're allowed to not like someone. You're allowed to go
on and you're not engaged. Like, this is where. This
is paradise, So he let you know he would. He
did wake up in the morning the second he had

(54:09):
the rose and never talked to her again that breakfast
with her stick and her tits out stretching, sitting in
her biket. I mean, she's hot and he's just not
looking at her, and she's like, fuck this guy, Paradise,
that's so paradise. So then he goes on the day
with Parisa. He doesn't mention it to her, he says
nothing to her. Then he comes out and she's like,
what the actual fuck fuck you? And he's like you woh,

(54:32):
you're being clingy. All of it was toxic. He was toxic.
He was toxic. And then she was shocked and and
raged when she didn't get the rose, even though he
told her, I don't want to be with you anymore,
and she's like, how dare you not? He's like, I
let you know, we're not together.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
Thoughts.

Speaker 3 (54:49):
Maybe she's a little ducks.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
I mean, look, she's delusional. He's a bad dude. It's
a it's a classic TV when yeah, it.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Was a win win, it's a ween Wayne.

Speaker 4 (55:03):
Honestly, they would probably be great together.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I mean, legit, they should just say to either both
live in New York. I think they.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
Should have their own show.

Speaker 4 (55:11):
They should both insane people.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Okay, speaking of insane people, let's talk about Dale, Cat
and Ali Joe. Dale sucks and everyone's like, and he's
such a cat. She's got this great job. What's his job?

Speaker 3 (55:28):
What is this job?

Speaker 4 (55:29):
He's just gorgeous. That's about it. But do you remember
the conversation between him and Ali Joe? Truly some of
the most incredible. He was like, we have so much
in common. We both like exercise. I was like, you
two are the stupidest people I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Also, like, who like she works out?

Speaker 4 (55:51):
I work out? Match made in Heaven.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
It's what's wrong with Cat?

Speaker 2 (55:56):
Cat?

Speaker 1 (55:56):
You think Cat doesn't work out all? If you work
out everybody?

Speaker 3 (56:00):
You yes?

Speaker 1 (56:01):
Yeah, So he goes. He's horny for Ali Joe. He's
the second. He and Cat are actually kind of cute together.
She's surprisingly winning my Most Improved Award.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
I'm willing he's a taking time off therapy.

Speaker 4 (56:20):
Can only do so much when it's paradise.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
We missed Youanna.

Speaker 4 (56:26):
He's gonna fucking blow a gasket. In two point five episodes,
I can't wait back.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
You know who's gonna throw the cake in the pool?

Speaker 4 (56:36):
She's gonna throw a cake at Dale's face.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Okay, okay, blind that man's blue.

Speaker 4 (56:42):
Bet she does.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
If he goes to bed with someone else, she will
be standing over them.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
Do they even have a boom boom room?

Speaker 4 (56:51):
It's because it's like it's the VIP suite.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
I see it, I see it right.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
I think all these kids are too dialed into their
image to fuck on camera. If it's gonna be anybody,
it's going to be the Goldens.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
Oh yeah, because they don't care.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
They don't care, and they'd be like, sorry, kids, mommy's
got a mom you know whatever, Like.

Speaker 4 (57:13):
Well, Kathy's secret, I was like, if I was Kathy's daughter,
I'd be like, I'm sorry, was that dad? What are
you doing?

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Kathy's secret was that she fucked a guy in the
other room when her partner was there.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
And her husband was in the house.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
In the house, I was.

Speaker 4 (57:30):
Like, uh, okay, trauma.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Oh my god, I love it. I loved it too.
I love it too. Well. Why don't we in this
segment finish out the youngs and then when in the
final segment, we'll talk about the old. So were you
surprised that Dale didn't pick Ellie Joe. No, I think
he knows that Kat has more status in the franchise. Yeah, yes,

(57:54):
our Queen Whitney. Now we thought that Dale was thirty eight.
Dale's thirty six, but like he's almost the same age
as Claire. When everyone was like, you're disgusting, you're thirty eight.
Why are you not like shot out at posture right now?
You're fucking old revolt man. Yeah, because he's a man,

(58:16):
and they're like, I like it with it. They're like,
I like older, I just want that baby girl. I'm
gonna be a baby girl. I'm looking for a man
who leads, and like I'm just gonna be baby girl
and be taken care of. I'm like, what the fuck
what trad wife? Trad wife like bachelor and tradwife. It
was like fucking happening here, Doctor Banana'll break it down

(58:37):
for me.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
I mean, so, I understand baby Girl was like sort
of a popular meme, but I watched that movie and
let me tell you, I don't think you want to
be baby girl. Like, I don't know if it's a
good I mean, look, if you've seen the movie you
saw that movie ended. You don't want to be baby girl.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
I just say I have reality to you. I went
and saw it in the theater. I was enjoying it. Yeah,
there was what felt like a movie theater shooter situation
that there was some so the whole movie theater ran
out at the very so. I actually don't know how
it ends. There was a guy that came People thought
there was a shooter in the theater, and so when

(59:15):
it was when it was when the guy shows up
at the pool at the house. I don't know how
it ended. How does it end?

Speaker 4 (59:22):
Okay, wait, sorry, I.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Don't did anyone die at.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
Your What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (59:30):
There was a guy that came in. He sounded, he
was like he came in twice. It literally there was
like sound. Everyone ran out of the theater.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
No one knew what really happened.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
No, but it felt like it was a guy, an
unhinted man came in. It was like screaming and ship
so everybody bolted.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
We all didn't have a gun. He just was yelling
star he did it.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
But it felt like he did. And we all left
and then we got our money back. I didn't want
to go sit through another. I don't want to sit
through an hour and a half to see the last
ten minutes.

Speaker 3 (59:58):
What did he say?

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
Yeah, who goes?

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
He was like, show me them titties, Nicole.

Speaker 4 (01:00:06):
Kidman, that's wild.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
No, it was actually really scary, but he did it
was not It was actually really scary. It was not
a shooter. So what happens at the end of the movie.
I don't know what happened at the end?

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
Oh wow, Okay, on that note, so he well, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
Spoiler alert if you haven't seen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
For the next three second, three minutes, what happened? She's
the young guy. He starts to show up at the house.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
Yes, Antonio and Benderis catches them basically, and then they
like physically, like comically like fight, you know, like across
the house.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
They did. They had a fist fight.

Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
But they did not think where like they like wrestle
fight where they're like god, god, yeah, yeah, stuff over, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Okay, And what is she doing? How did she? Who
does she?

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
Oh? God stop? You know, and then they all like
sit down and have a conversation to be like this
was crazy and.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
Wit they talk after they fight.

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
Yeah, yeah, because Antonio Banderas like finally is like, I guess, yeah,
what is happening? And then the guy, the young kid,
is like, I'm so sorry I did this to your family,
gets up and leaves, and then at work we find
out he's been like transferred to Japan or something.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
This is not an HR nightmare that it could.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
Oh I think it is an HR nightmare because her
boss comes in and sort of like makes reference to
the fact that he he knows that she like yeah,
and then like invites her over like kind of creepily,
and then she's like, don't fuck with me, and then it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Ends, and doesn't she fuck Antonio banderas a little bit
in a fun way At the end.

Speaker 4 (01:01:54):
Yeah, he learns to baby girl her basically how she
needs so she can like actually come, I guess, because
the whole thing is that she's never come with him
or something. Straight. Antonio benderis okay, honey, sure, Nicole, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Exactly, who's also like the most loyal, adorable husband in
the movie. Yeah, okay, okay, yes, seth nothing, okay, great, okay,
So any final thoughts for the young people. So Diale
goes on the day with Ali, Joe comes back and
picks Kat, but you know, he's just he's also like
a guy that you've realized. He realizes he needed to

(01:02:29):
he needed to up his statue to keep the like
spawn con going on Instagram. He needed to come be
like hey remember me, I'm Taco Dale and then like
Taco Party City Dale, and so he's back and he
needed to like pair off. But he's also like, don't
rein me in. These guys suck.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
They suck.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
They all suck one hundred. That's why it's funny when
when what's her name? The older one was like, I
don't April was like, I don't know the new I
don't know how to new date, like the new ways
of dating. And she should have said it doesn't matter.
They're all terrible. Don't worry about it. There's nothing to learn.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
And by the way, Spencer and Jess are very cute.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Yeah, Spencer seems like almost two.

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
Wholesome and dumb to be manipulative.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Yeah, no, you see, and they're really cute. They had
that she had the date with Sam and then they
got it. I think they'll be our engagement. Okay, is
there any other young person we've missed? Do we miss anybody?

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Mm?

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
What was the one who was the one who got
kicked off that other black girl who's like, men always
want the easy way out, they never take the hog
way out.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Was that Zoe?

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
I think so?

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
I think she.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
That was her last line as she walked in.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
We have Zoe who got cut, We got Zoe cut,
Susie left, Ali Joe, Ali Joe, and then who is
the fourth one? Lexi So Lexie et Susie.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
It might have been LEXI said that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Lexi Susie. And then we have a Lexi, Susie.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Zoey Aali Zoe out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Yeah, they all have an E on the end of
their names. I know Lexy, Susie, Ali and yeah, whatever, okay, But.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
I said it was funny.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
That was like, like, no one wants a really hard relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
No one wants me to be yelling at them every day.
What's wrong with that? They're all terrible?

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
What do these guys don't want me like scream at
them and tearing up their cats?

Speaker 3 (01:04:31):
No one wants that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
No one wants that. Nobody wants to get yelled at everything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
No one wants these people always take the easy way out.
I was like, what, what's I understand they want a
good time instead of a terrible time.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Okay, okay, I get.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
It all right. Any final thoughts on the Youngs before
we go to the old okay, before we move on
from the Youngs. Aside from Spencer and Jess, who what
dickhead is going to panic to try to stay in
the public guy and propose? And who are they gonna
propose to? Doctor Banana?

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
Maybe Dale?

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Yeah, he feels.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
He's a proposer.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Yeah, Okay, Katie, you think it? What what piece of
shoot young one is going to propose to someone to
stay in the public.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Guy, or it's going to be Jonathan to someone he's
never met.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
To April, we didn't talk about Alex and Tom and
Thomas Andrew. Alex and Andrew, So she's like, I don't
know if your second. She actually kissed him in the pool,
which makes me go, oh it was Jonathan, Like she
can kiss someone, so like I kind of felt for

(01:05:51):
her though that he didn't take her out first.

Speaker 4 (01:05:54):
Yeah, yeah, I do think like Alex is an unfortunately
just like she's too quirky and a real person that
like just having like a handsome dumb guys like Johnathan
is not going to do it for her, Like, yeah,
he really didn't like, like he would just be like why.
She'd be like, I'm so sorry, Like it's not working out.

(01:06:16):
He's like, oh, it's good. He's such a du nothing
going on up there?

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
What makes you weird? Like did he learn the word weird?
So he thought he made it seame deep? What's your
weirdest thing about? Like, okay, okay, we're taking a quick break.
We're gona tap with the old weird I need a
sexual time out and we're back here. We are with

(01:06:47):
the golden oldies. They didn't. They just sort of jammed
them in there. But they were like, don't worry viewers,
We're not really going to give him a chance to
do this.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
This is just for comedy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
This is just for comedy. What did you think of
them coming in? I was sorry that Ellen wasn't there.
I felt like Leslie got zero airtime except for like
the fact that she got out The Prince wrote a
song about her again Usher, What was the thing with

(01:07:22):
Usher and Kenny G?

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
And then she.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
Didn't they're all truths, Like Usher gave her like a
cherry feder cherry on stage, but she does every show right.
And then Kenny G did something to her and then
she's like, oh wait, they're all real.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
Did I mistake the game?

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, we get it. I
get it. You bone musicians, you're a dancer.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
Okay. So then we have Kathy one there, I know
what you did last summer. Poor Wells. We love our
king and he has to act out like at least
hand I've kind of has been like, we're done with you.
Wells is doing a good job. This is funny, but
like Wells needs his bar back. Wells needs to talk

(01:08:04):
to them like he did last summer when he would
give them advice and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
Right, they just I mean they have the bar, they're
at the bar lot. They're just not using him as
like a confidant.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
No, and the bar doesn't. It's not like a fun
little tiki bar. It feels too much like a hotel bar.

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
It is a hotel bar. It's literally a hotel.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
Well there he was when they did the group date
and they had the like torque off at the other
bar and then the arm wres like that date actually
was kind of fun. The group date was kind of fun.
When they all went to the bar, it actually seemed
like they got drunk and had a good time. So
here we are with the old the so we have
Keith's voice. I don't know, so okay, So then we go.

(01:08:47):
Keith gets a date in the VIP lounge with Kathy
and she's they drink like fifteen bottles of champagne and
she's feeding him. She swim raises him.

Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
Yeah, they're in the hot tub.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
They're in the hot tub. They weren't good sports. They
did the time. I think we seem attracted to her,
but he was a good space.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
It seems to be having a great time, like this
is an opportunity they don't get they appreciated the opportunity.

Speaker 3 (01:09:13):
And then I think they went to bed. Yeah, not
with each other.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
I think I think he would have. Maybe she was
almost too much hamming it up for the cameras, like
like if you could have actually stopped and had a
there was no actual conversation of like, so where are
you from? Tell me about your daughters? What was this?
What was the experience like for They don't care about that,
they don't care about that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
They not doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
They're not They're here to have fun, be on camera,
maybe make out maybe boone a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
They're like, we're not wasting time. I don't care about
we learned.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
We learned that April hasn't had a kiss since her
April and Cat are like like ghosts of Christmas future,
that April hasn't kissed since her husband. I need to
kiss and then lie hold. They send fucking Jack in
the pool and she was poor April. She took the hit,

(01:10:08):
and then Captain Kim starts rubbing her shoulders and she
seemed disgusted.

Speaker 4 (01:10:12):
Captain Kim, where did he come from?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
They were just there.

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
They're all like he happened to the boat. They came,
They came over.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Dude, and they like they all felt like they were
being so creepy to April, who like if that generation
has like had to tolerate men touching her for so
many times?

Speaker 4 (01:10:31):
Remember how she was like Frankie Valley's child girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
Yes, she wrote a book about it, wrote a book
about it, like her.

Speaker 4 (01:10:40):
Mom basically like pimped her out to Frankie Valley when
she was.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
So jealous.

Speaker 4 (01:10:47):
Leslie is fuming.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
So then April is like, you can tell she doesn't
want Kim to touch her, and then disgusting fucking what's
his name? Who she hits? Jack is like, I guess
I lost, and the guy's like, that's the game, bro,
and then like you didn't lose. He's but they're all
like you better. Basically, you also know they're making them
go to bed at nine, so they're there so they

(01:11:13):
can just film the young ens, like you can know that.
The producers like you, guys can come, but you have
to get the fuck away. We don't want to see
you after nine o'clock, even if you're awake.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
Probably true.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
So then they're like rubbing the show. She's getting like manhandled,
and kids give her a good one, like let her
have a good guy like these getting mad, Yes, getting mad,
gys getting mad. Captain Kim's just touching her and he goes,
I can keep secrets too, and she was like, oh,
like you're so gross. These guys are. He's like the

(01:11:47):
little one, the little blonde like this girl, Like they're disgusting.

Speaker 3 (01:11:53):
I love how much you hate all the men on
the show.

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
I love Spencer. I like RJ, the tall one that's
with the top sho.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
He's the one who was a playmate for two women.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
Oh yeah, it's talk what about the fuck.

Speaker 4 (01:12:07):
Their secrets were crazy?

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
Do we think it was actually Dale the like only
fans for his feet for sure?

Speaker 3 (01:12:18):
Oh yeah, for sure?

Speaker 1 (01:12:20):
Yeah yeah, and might still be.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
I'm sure he has that account. That's how he makes Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
Why would he shut that down? Why would that be
a part time thing?

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:12:33):
So I think our j and Natasha have the potential
to be cute.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Yeah sure, and the final couple maybe who else is there?

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
So we have justin Spencer?

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Oh then what about what other olds came in? We
have Keith, we have we have r J. We have oh,
we have coming in we haven't gotten him yet. Got
Gary the criers coming in?

Speaker 3 (01:13:00):
Oh, Gary's coming in, the one.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
Who always has frame. I think they should send in
Charles with all of his frames, all of his picture frames. Yeah, okay,
and we've got Leslie, Kathy, April and Natasha are the
first four? Are there more than that?

Speaker 3 (01:13:19):
I think that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:20):
I think that's it. And the kids are all like
you guys are crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:25):
And I love the fact that now they are much
more honest than the young ones.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
And you know, like, I can't do anything. I don't
know anyone's names. I gotta go to bed at nine.

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
I need viagra, Like this is We're just here and
I'm dying.

Speaker 3 (01:13:40):
I may have a week left, so I'm just gonna
tell everything I need to say.

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
Yeah, the guys are chill, the guys are cool. Uh.
I think it's fun. I like the addition, and I
hope that they actually love this time. I wonder how
many more weeks we have, Katie, Doctor Banana. How many
more weeks do you think we.

Speaker 4 (01:13:58):
Have to look it up? Like how many?

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
It doesn't say anywhere? Maybe four more weeks?

Speaker 5 (01:14:07):
This was We don't even know because this was only
two right, but it was two episodes, so oh well,
we don't usually have.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
That many weeks. Paradise is pretty short.

Speaker 4 (01:14:16):
I think it was usually four weeks.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:14:18):
Is the Bachelor franchise dying?

Speaker 4 (01:14:21):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
I think it is. Yes, they canceled The Bachelorette.

Speaker 5 (01:14:23):
Right, Well, they didn't cancel it, but they didn't like
after what happened to Gen. They were like, well, we're
going to take a pause. I have Yeah, it is dying,
and they're like desperately grasping at straws, being.

Speaker 4 (01:14:37):
Like, you guys like Love Island.

Speaker 5 (01:14:38):
Here's like something like Love Island like that.

Speaker 1 (01:14:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean they've done a good job,
but it's not Love Island, Yes, Seth didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
They also just have to cancel the new Golden Bachelor
because he said he wouldn't get anyone under Yeah, let's.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
Talk about that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
He wanted.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
He's disgusting. He said, like on air, this is the
Golden Bachelorette, not the Silver Bachelor. I want forty to
fifty five and that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
Yeah, and he was like, no, fake, That's the whole
point is that everyone's over sixty.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Yeah what, Dan, he's over sixty? What an absolute piece
of shit?

Speaker 5 (01:15:15):
Oh, white dude from Orange County, A rich why cannem.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
Shock shock shock?

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
Yeah a house dude, dude, Yes, exactly, go back to
your fucking stucco house. Exactly. Okay, So any final thoughts.
We're gonna take a quick break and come back into
our post of the week and our review of the week.
Any thoughts overall, I'm really enjoying it. It's a lot

(01:15:45):
of content. I kind of wish it was just three hours.
It's a lot to write out. Three hours is still
a lot. It's a lot lot. It's like five hours.
It's like five hours when you're filming all week. I'm like,
oh my god, this is banana, but it's still it's
at least five fun hours. I think it's hot.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
It's great.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
Oh my god, dude, Okay, doctor Banana.

Speaker 4 (01:16:09):
Thoughts, uh thoughts on the eighty five hours of television.
It took me all week to watch this show, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
I've literally been like it's been it's been insane. This
is not this exhausting. Yes, exactly, Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
I need to take several breaks. Yes, I mean I
think this shows this season is pretty good. I love
the old people. I think it makes it's a genuine
and authentic and fun and funny. And I would watch
it if it's just them.

Speaker 1 (01:16:41):
Me too, Seth. Can I just tell you how much
I like doing the podcast with you? Oh, Sally, you're
such a good guest. You're always you're so fucking funny
as a comedian, but you're a really good podcast guest.
And we really, we really like our fans really like you.

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
Oh that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:17:01):
It is true, And we would love to have you back.

Speaker 3 (01:17:04):
I'd love to do you guys are the best. It's
so much fun.

Speaker 1 (01:17:07):
Okay, So we're going to take a quick break and
we're going to come back and we're going to do
a post of the week and a review of the week. Guys,
it's time that's.

Speaker 3 (01:17:20):
Put on mon keys and again again.

Speaker 1 (01:17:27):
And we're back, Uh doctor Banana. Tell people how they
can how they can get in touch with you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:36):
My phone number of them is just choking. You can
tweet me at Anna host Nier on Twitter. You can Oh.
I changed my Instagram handle again because I'm a sick Oh,
but it's just now to make it as easy as possible.
My last name just host Nier with three h's at

(01:17:56):
the end. That's my new handle. So you can instagram
dm me there or you can uh threads me same
handle as my Instagram at h O S s n
I e h h h Right, that's where I'm at.
Find me there.

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
So and by the way, you have all week to
do this because we're doing this on the weekends now,
so they're pressure. You have all week and the winner
is gonna get a sleep Crown. And if you want
your own sleep crown, go to sleep crowd dot com.
Back slash w y a t r uh code baby girl,

(01:18:34):
I traveled with my sleep crown. I love I love
my b I travel with my baby girl. Okay, here
are we're gonna we have seven and we're gonna narrow
it down to two and then Okay, this is Rachel
Delanne and she had a bunch. She had a bunch
this week. That we're good. Okay. The younger cast reaction

(01:18:55):
to the Golden cast is like kids excited that the
grandparents are there because they're about to get to kind
of gift or money. That felt accurate. This is also
from Rachel. I drink I'd drink your bath water. Andrew,
we all saw saltburn. That's not sexy, that's pretty should

(01:19:15):
we talk about for a second in the coffee in
the it was discussed like that. Yeah, it was disgusting.

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
I didn't like it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
That was absolutely disgusting. Okay, here's another one from Rachel.
LEXI spoke Susie's name so much she manifested her existence.

Speaker 3 (01:19:35):
In accurate.

Speaker 1 (01:19:39):
Okay, here's another one from Rachel. She wants that fucking
sleep crown, honey, and she might get it. How long
is it going to be before Parsa is talking to
a raccoon, not edited to look like but actually talking
to a raccoon.

Speaker 4 (01:19:53):
I'm surprised she hasn't been speaking to iguanas yet.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
Yeah, Okay, here's one from Becca Faney. I can't explain
it further, but Cat and Sean are giving big shark energy,
and I could see how they could be good friends.
They do kind of look like sharks, they feel like sharks.

Speaker 3 (01:20:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:14):
And then this is from Hannah Army. Uh, my husband
has has never had better timing than when he farted
right after Justin says Susie's name at the Rose ceremony. Okay,
what are your top two? I'm going to say.

Speaker 3 (01:20:35):
I like wishing Susie into his existence.

Speaker 1 (01:20:39):
Yes, yes, And then we have either.

Speaker 3 (01:20:42):
Solburn maybe they're raccoon one.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Yeah, Okay, what do you think Anna?

Speaker 4 (01:20:48):
Yeah? I like raccoon and.

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
Wishing Susie into existence. Okay, okay, okay. This is from
Rachel Delynn. LEXI spoke Susan these names so much she
manifested her existence into paradise or but Rachel's gonna win
either way. She's gonna get herself a sleep crown. How
long is it going to before Preese is talking to
a raccoon?

Speaker 3 (01:21:10):
Ed?

Speaker 1 (01:21:10):
It just looks like we're actually talking to raccoon manifested
or raccoon seth.

Speaker 3 (01:21:15):
I think the raccoon one.

Speaker 4 (01:21:17):
Anna, I'm going to go raccoon, Katie Raccoon.

Speaker 1 (01:21:21):
Yeah, Rachel, you win yourself a sleep croon crowd. Email
us your mail address at Rosepodcasts at gmail dot com.
Also email us your emails at Roadpodcasts at gmail dot com. Okay,
final thing, will you help us pick a review of
the week and they're going to get a book? Can
you handle it? You guys?

Speaker 3 (01:21:39):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
All right? So this is from Whitney's friend. This is
from Whitney's best friend has written a book called How
Freaking Romantic. She wrote it with Emily Harding. Her friend
Audrey helped out. So you're going to get a copy
of that. You can email it to us. Here's our
reviews of the week. Okay, this isn't for Cali KK

(01:22:01):
eighty four, Gucci five stars always five stars to the
Dream Art and Team. Things feel like they're gonna be
okay in this dumpster fire of a world with the
art and crew back in the mix, agree to agree.
This season so far is low intentionally trying to be
like Love Island, Justice for Gucci, Hakim and let's go
Golden on the beach Love You Arden. That's a great one.

(01:22:23):
That's a great one. Here's a one competing against Witchy
Fun five Stars, missing it between seasons, actively listening it
between seasons, watching Bachelor franchise since high school, but this
show is constantly, consistently brought me back was Bible Scriptures,
Tattoo and Boobs in the Moonlight, along with Harry's get

(01:22:45):
hilarious guests, a stellar production team, and perhaps my only
real parasocial friend Arden. The commentary and breakdown of each
episode is obviously p and your pants funny, but part
of which makes this show special is the genuine hope
for love that despite the bachelor trying his best to
make it impossible and friends seem to keep believing in it.
Thank you for doing the Lord's work. Can't we just
see you on the beach in Paradise?

Speaker 3 (01:23:05):
Okay that last one is a great review.

Speaker 1 (01:23:07):
Okay then that then five stars are Witchy Fun missing
between seasons. You won yourself a book? Send us your email, Seth.
What would you like to promote?

Speaker 2 (01:23:16):
Oh man, I've got I'm going to be at the
sandis Field Arts Center next Saturday at the twenty sixth
in Sandysfield, Massachusetts, which is in the Berkshires. If anyone
is what you do say the power of me being hilarious.

Speaker 1 (01:23:30):
That is so fucking funny. He is such a good
time and he's like, sincerely, if you're in the Massachusetts, serially,
if you're in the Berkshires, Connecticut, you're e or like
half your ass off. What day is that?

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
That's Saturday, the twenty sixth of July. Then the next Saturday,
I'm actually back in Montalk. I'm opening up for Norah
Jones at the Lighthouse.

Speaker 1 (01:23:53):
That's fun.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
That's an expensive ticket, but because it's a benefit. And
then I'm going to be actually at the Comedy Museum
Theater on the eighth of August and Jamestown, New York.

Speaker 1 (01:24:07):
When is sweet gonna be back.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
The Chelsea Music Hall in New York, where I do
my big monthly show is kind of rejiggering itself from
you building itself. We don't know when it's gonna be
up and ready, but I think early August. I'm gonna
say early August. There'll be an August show. Maybe August twelfth,
August twelve.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
Okay, Doctor Banana and I are gonna be in New York.
Get your tickets, Tonny. We're gonna be dressed really inappropriately
for Love Island just wearing real trashy. I might wear
a song and a mesh outfit on stage.

Speaker 4 (01:24:39):
And we're gonna have We're gonna like eight mesh like
cover up.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
I'm gonna be more undressed than like I think I'm
gonna be more undressed than a burlesque dancer. I might
have undertit.

Speaker 4 (01:24:52):
I'm gonna have ten pounds of foundation on.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
I'm gonna hoog tour and have undertit with a mesh overlay.
And then like I'm gonna do some like we I'm
gonna overdraw my lips. I put a lot of like
highlighter on my cheekbones and my tiss. We're gonna like
an hav An inner. I'm gonna spray tan a songline

(01:25:16):
onto my body with a fight oh like a playboy
bunny spray tan on.

Speaker 4 (01:25:24):
But you do that too?

Speaker 3 (01:25:26):
Why not?

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
Okay, I know where to get that in New York.
We gotta go get Okay. I've never done it, but
they've offered it to me. I'm like, no, thank you,
but this time, thank you. We're in. So we're gonna
come in really horror wonderful.

Speaker 4 (01:25:47):
Can we suggest everyone else also dressed like that yes show,
we should all do that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:53):
Oh my god, show hipster Brooklyn and your children that
you've still got it in a dress like you're going
to Tampa and it two thousand and three and you've
got a whale tail song fucking dress like you might
not be allowed into the venue.

Speaker 4 (01:26:14):
That's the dress code, guys. This is a full paradise experience.

Speaker 1 (01:26:19):
Dress like the air conditioning is going to be out
for a week.

Speaker 4 (01:26:22):
And honestly it might be because I've been to Union
Hall where the AC doesn't work inside.

Speaker 1 (01:26:28):
By the way, the last show we did at the
last one we did, the AC was out there.

Speaker 4 (01:26:34):
You go.

Speaker 1 (01:26:35):
Also, I feel like I need another life size cutout
of Mittens for any hometowns. Remember when we got Mitten
to Mia Okay? So that and then we're still breaking
down Southern Charge. No, we're breaking down Summerhouse on our
on our Patriot doctor Banana. What would you like to

(01:26:55):
promote I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:26:56):
Just at an I'm at host Nana with three h's
at the end on Instagram. Follow me there, buy our
tickets to the August twentieth live show at Union Hall.
Coming out dressed like you're in paradise.

Speaker 1 (01:27:09):
He's only ten tickets, So fucking come down. It's just
fifteen dollars and it's twenty dollars at the door. What
else are you going to get in New York for
fifty Your car ride will cost fifty eight times more
than that. Okay, Katie, what would you like to promote?

Speaker 5 (01:27:23):
As always, please go to your local shelter and adopt
foster pet.

Speaker 1 (01:27:30):
I want to just say before we go, the show
that I'm filming right now with Bert Kreischer is the
funniest thing I've I mean, Gemstones equally as funny as Jemstones.
Bert is so lovely. This show is so fucking fun.
I can't wait. Is the biggest thing I've ever gotten
to do. It is the biggest part I've ever had.

(01:27:52):
We love Bert, we love his wife. I'm playing his wife.
His wife is named Leanne. I'm playing Leanne. The Chryslers
are a dream, having the best time literally at like
summer camp, having so much fun. My brother's here right now,
Alaric and Bert Kreischer hung out and talked watches all night.
This is where we are having the best time at

(01:28:13):
summer camp. I have never had more alcohol in my life,
sure or like Fried food or steak, just like eating
so much food. Here we go, super grateful until next time. Seth.
Thank you for getting up and doing this. I know
you're a katie. Thank you. I know it's Anthony's birthday.

(01:28:34):
I know it's super early. Thank you for getting up.
Doctor Banana. I know you're living your life in New York.
Thank you for doing this on a Sunday morning. To
all of you guys, We'll be back as always. It
will be delayed. This season is delayed because mommy's got
a job. But come see us August twentieth. Until next time.
Name is Aren't thank you so much?

Speaker 4 (01:28:50):
Goodbye bye.

Speaker 6 (01:28:54):
Yeah, we're going to get all tonight. I feel so good.

Speaker 3 (01:29:01):
I just got one little questions from here.

Speaker 6 (01:29:04):
Would you accept this roll? Would you reaccept this roll?
Listen to your word? Whould you accept this rolls to

(01:29:24):
your word?

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
Will you accept this? Roses a production of iHeartRadio. For
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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