April 8, 2025 • 29 mins
Do you ever feel like you have to be the strong one? Like you have to get your ducks in a row, get your act together, pull it all off—or if you don’t do it, who will?
In today's episode I unpack the idea that your greatest leverage to shift any situation—personal or corporate—is not in your strength or composure or ability or even intelligence but in your capacity to tell the truth.
We avoid telling the truth because we’re afraid to face what is real; but only by telling the truth do we access the ability to shift and change the “truth” to something new.
What are ten things that are true for you today?
Host: Ally Fallon // @allyfallon // allisonfallon.com
Follow Ally on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyfallon/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun When
you write your story, you get the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and cold. It's all about and write
(00:24):
your story, Rite, write your story. Hello, and welcome back
to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon. I'm
your host on today's episode. There's so many things I
want to talk about, I'm gonna have to whittle it
down to just one. So I think I'll start with
what feels most pressing to me. Given what's unfolding in
(00:45):
front of all of us, or at least many of
us at this time if you live in the United States,
there's a lot that's happening on the political stage, most
of which I feel like I've been avoiding the fray.
I've had my head a bit buried in the sand,
as they say, I've not been on social media. I've
been checking the news much. I don't watch like the
news news. Most of how I get my news is
(01:06):
on social media. And yet because of the way things
have unfolded them last week, and I'll get to that
in just a second. I feel like I'm a little
bit more tuned in to what's been happening than I
often am, and I wonder if the same might be
true for you. As I was thinking about recording this episode,
I was actually thinking about you and thinking like I
need to do like a wellness check. I need to
(01:26):
just like check in and be like, hey, let's check
in with ourselves and ask like, how are we doing?
How am I doing? Because I was getting my kids
loaded up to drop them off at their camp today.
We were out last week for severe weather a couple
of times, and it was a chaotic week, and I'll
get to that in just a second again. But as
I was loading them up this morning, I was just like, man,
I I'm okay, but I'm not okay. I don't know
(01:48):
if that resonates with anyone who's listening, but I'm okay.
I'm going to be okay. I'm going to get myself
feeling grounded again. But this morning, as I was getting
them loaded up, I was just like, I am really
not okay. I need to get these kids to somewhere
where they're going to have a good time and they're
safe and they're covered, and I need to come home
and I need to do some things to take care
of myself. So that's really what I want to talk
about today, because last week I talked about how I
(02:09):
was practicing staying grounded and staying present in my life
even during times of messiness or chaos or stress. And
I talked about how I got stun by b and
had to go to the emergency room and how I
found out my kids had lice and it felt like
everything kind of exploded and unfolded all at once, and
I was practicing this practice of staying in my life,
staying alive to my life, staying present to what is
(02:32):
good about my life even when things are messy, even
when I don't have control, because hey, spoiler alert, we
do not have control over every little detail in our lives.
We can't always have things perfectly organized, and sort of
letting the perfectionist that lives inside of me unravel and
unroll and giving permission for the truest part of me
to live and to realize, like, hey, this is your life,
(02:53):
even when things are not perfectly organized. This is your life,
and there's so much goodness to it. Can you soak it?
All in. Can you receive what your life is trying
to offer you even when it isn't delivered in this
perfectly wrapped up little package like you want it to
be sometimes And that's what I was practicing. And I
even made the comment in last week's episode about how
oftentimes when I decide here's something I'm going to practice
(03:15):
in my life, my life throws me all these opportunities
to practice it. It's like, hey, here's an opportunity to
practice this thing that this habit that you want to implement,
or this you know, this muscle that you want to
exercise or strengthen, Here's an opportunity to get even better
at that thing that you want to do. And life
has not disappointed. It has thrown many opportunities my way
this week for me to practice staying present in my
(03:37):
life even when things are very chaotic. And one of
the things that has come up for me that I
want to talk about today is how staying present for
your life when things are messy is about more than
just staying happy. It's about more than just staying grateful.
It's about more than just staying in a good mood.
It's about more than just staying strong. In fact, it's
about the wholeness of it. It's about staying strong but
(03:58):
also staying soft. It's about staying happy but also allowing
space for sadness when sadness comes up. It's about being
okay but also being not okay and being willing to
admit that to yourself. It's about admitting when you're scared.
It's about admitting when you feel lost. It's about admitting
that you don't know it all, you don't have it
all together. So, after the episode went live on Tuesday
(04:19):
of last week, after I went to the ar on Saturday,
after we had the LFE episode with our kids, we
watched every single item in our house after all of
that messiness unfolded. Then on Wednesday night, we were in
a dead sleep and were woken out of a dead
sleep with tornado sirens, with tornado warnings. We had to
race upstairs and get our kids. I mean, this is
in some ways very routine for people who live in
(04:41):
this part of the world. And if you're listening to
this and you live in the Southeast, you probably did
this run around too, or maybe so. I've talked to
a few people who I'll ask, like, how are the
tornado warnings for you here in Nashville, and people will say, ah,
I slept right through them, which is wild to me.
I mean, like it must be just kind of acclimating
over time to having these sirens go off in the
(05:05):
middle of the night. But for me, it was like
turn my fight or flight response on, turn my nervous
system on fire. Starting Wednesday night, we had severe weather,
flood warnings, et cetera, et cetera happening all day Thursday.
We got basically no sleep Wednesday night. So this is
a big thing too that I want to kind of
throw into the mix that when you get no sleep,
(05:28):
then you don't have the strong foundation that you normally
would have in order to stay grounded, stay present in
your life, stay grateful, whatever, stay open. You don't have
that strong foundation that you would normally have. So we
were up all night Wednesday night. Our kids never went
back to sleep after we were woken up at like
two forty five, So we were up from two forty
five all day Thursday. Our kids were like on a tear.
(05:49):
They were running wild all over the house. They were
stir crazy. We were stir crazy. It was such a
wild day on Thursday they were out of school. Then
Friday they were home with us again, more severe other
you know, more questions about like if storms would be coming,
if they wouldn't be coming. And what I realized is
that staying present to your life when it's messy is
(06:09):
about more than just staying happy. It's about more than
just staying it is staying grounded, that's true, but it's
staying grounded and present to what is there, not just
to what you wish was there, not just to what
you want to be there, not just to you know,
I'm the strong one because I'm the parent, and I'm
going to stay strong for my kids. There is some
element of that, but it's also staying present to the
(06:31):
fact that I'm also scared, staying present to the fact
that I my nervous system is also dysregulated, staying present
to the fact that I'm also not doing greater. I
have these needs that need to be met or whatever,
and the ability to do that is extremely tricky, especially
when there are many different needs, many different preferences, many
(06:52):
different people, all kind of crammed into one space. So
I wanted to talk about this today because personally, this
is the experience I had the last week. You know,
in a week's time, we did an er visit, We
did a lice event where we cleaned every item in
our house, sanitize the kids' heads, every pillow, every piece
of bedding, every levey, every stuffy everything in our whole house.
(07:13):
Then we have back to back tornado warnings, severe weather
on high alert, having trouble sleeping because I'm watching the
weather experts trying to figure out, like, is this storm
going to come near us? Are we going to have
severe weather again overnight? So we're doing that all week
and the ramp up of my nervous system into today.
Today was the first time where I took my kids
(07:34):
to their camp where they go. I dropped them off
for the morning. I came home, I'm sitting in a
quiet house. I'm getting ready to record this episode, and
I was just thinking to myself, you know, part of
staying in your life even when it's messy, is staying
present to what we would consider negative emotions or bad
emotions too. It's staying present to the fact that my
(07:56):
nervous system is extremely activated. And if we want to
have any kind of agency over shaping our story, we
don't have total control over everything, but we do have
a lot of agency to shape our story in the
direction that we want it to go. If we want
to tap into any of that agency, we have to
become aware, very aware of what is here, what is
(08:18):
present right now, what is true? What is real right
this minute? And that can be a challenging question to
answer because there's a lot of social conditioning, there's a
lot of familial conditioning. There's a lot of self judgment,
there's a lot of shame, there's a lot of stuff
that goes on in our heads, voices that say I
shouldn't feel this way. You know, I need to be
(08:38):
the strong one because I'm the parent. You know, there's
no time to like I got to record this podcast.
I don't have time to be in a bad mood
right now, or you know, have needs that need to
be taken care of, like I gotta just get this done.
They've got fourteen things on my to do list. I
got to tick them off before I go pick up
the kids. Again. It's easy to get into that mode
instead of asking ourselves, Okay, what's what's here for me
(08:59):
right now now? And this was the question that I
had for myself this morning. And it's a question that
I had for you as sort of a wellness check,
like a check in how are you doing? How am
I doing? Can you ask yourself that question, like how
am I doing? Really? If I were able to be
really honest with myself or really honest with some trusted
person in my life, what would I say? I said
(09:20):
to my husband this morning, like I'm okay, but I'm
also not okay. I just need you to know, like,
I'm not okay right now. It has been a wild,
long week. I've not gotten enough sleep. Sleep throws everything
else off. We've had all this crazy stuff happening with
the weather, you know, and then on top of that,
if you live in the US, you've also been watching
(09:41):
things unfold on the political stage that can be really
upsetting and unnerving. And you know, I've pretty much avoided
the fray recently. I sent out an email this past
week to my subscribers saying that I have been in
like a hibernation state since about October when I lost
my dad. I I have not been on social media.
I haven't been checking in with the news. I don't
(10:03):
really watch the news anyway. I get most of my
news from social media. So I just haven't really been
like up to date on what's going on. And you
might have thoughts or judgments about that or whatever about
baring your head in the proverbial sand, but I just
have not been in touch or in tune with what's
been going on. But when the severe weather was happening
over the weekend, one of the ways that I stay
(10:23):
in touch with the severe weather is through a Twitter
account and an Instagram account called Nashville severe Weather. There's
a group of guys who have come together to help
keep people informed in the Nashville area around what's happening
with you know, tornadoes and severe thunderstorms and other kind
of weather events that happen here. And they are honestly
(10:43):
so wonderful. Total side note, but like I saw someone
describe them as the dads of Nashville, and I was like,
that is the perfect, the perfect description, Like something about
just hearing their voice on YouTube Live when there's a
severe weather event going on is so calming and so well,
you know, when the sirens go off, we'll go get
our kids and take them to our storm shelter, and
(11:04):
then I'll turn on YouTube live and just listen to
these guys talk about where the storm is and what's happening,
and you know, just helping you kind of like get
a gauge for what the threat is for your area.
And as long as they're calm, I'm calm. And then
the minute that they were like, Okay, I have to
go wake up my family now because the storm is
in our area, then you know, at the minute that
I see them panic, it's like all downhill for me
(11:27):
from there. But the description of them as the dads
of Nashville, I was like, that's absolutely it. It's like,
as long as dad's good, I'm good. The minute I
see Dad loose's mind, everything goes downhill from there. So anyway,
all of that to say, I don't get on Twitter
or x or whatever it's called now ever except for
to go look at the Nashville spere Weather account. That's
(11:47):
the only one reason and I'm not exaggerating it is
the one reason that I still have that app on
my phone, or that I still get on the app
is to look at what's happening with Nashville spear Weather.
And they have an Instagram account to but the Twitter
account seems to be easier to read. For like a
minute by minute updates when they're giving updates on weather stuff.
So I will usually check in on Twitter and I'll
(12:09):
check in on Instagram, which is I'm only saying that
it's only important to the story to say that when
I get on Twitter to look for Nashville severe weather,
I'm also catching, you know, quick hooks from other people
who have posted on Twitter. So if someone posts something
on Twitter that's a really good hook, then I'm there
looking for Nashville severe weather. But I might get sort
(12:30):
of sidetracked or derailed looking at another tweet. And this
happened a time or two over the course of the
past week, and on Instagram too. I actually, by last
night was just like, get my phone out of my hand,
because I think I was overactivated already from everything that
was happening. Scrolling on Instagram gives you those kind of
happy serotonin dopamine chemicals, which can help you to feel
(12:53):
more calm in the long run. It doesn't really keep
you calm, but it does help you feel more calm
in the moment. So I was finding myself just kind
of scrolling the last couple days on Instagram and seeing
things that I wouldn't have seen otherwise. So that was
a long story to say that I've been seeing things
on Twitter and on Instagram that I wouldn't have seen
otherwise that are unfolding politically, that are happening in the world.
(13:14):
And here's what's wild to me to think about. I
don't know if you've considered this, but it's wild to
me to think about that. If I wasn't on Twitter
and Instagram, if I wasn't looking at what was happening
with the stock market right now, with like decisions that
Trump has made to drop a bomb or whatever else,
if I wasn't looking at these things on Twitter and Instagram,
I literally wouldn't even know that they're happening. My life
(13:37):
would go on as usual. And I don't know what
you make of this or what kind of story you
make up about it, but it kind of sends my
brain into like a little bit of a spiral, Like
I'm just like, is it even real that it's happening?
But then of course it is real because real people
out there are really suffering. And so the question I
ask myself is like, what is our responsibility to engage?
(14:06):
So I'm asking these questions and starting this conversation I'm
coming in kind of messy. I'm coming in without clear answers,
but I do want to talk about a couple of things.
I want to talk about. Number One, how part of
staying present to your life when it's messy is staying
present to all of it, every single part of it.
And that's what I think this episode is really about,
so sting present to the sadness, sting present to the fear,
(14:29):
sting present to the loneliness, staying present to the confusion,
sting present to the lostness, staying present to the feeling
out of sortsness, staying present to not being okay, and
also sting present to gratitude, and sting present to what's
so beautiful about your life, and staying present to the
goodness of it all, and sting present to the nourishment
and the food and the friends and the moments of
connection and those things that keep us afloat in times
(14:52):
of distress. Staying present to the fullness of all of it.
That's a big part of it. Another part about what
I want to talk about is how do we stay
grounded in times of distress. That's how I want to
say that, because grounded doesn't mean happy, grounded means in touch,
it means two feet on the ground. It means I'm
(15:13):
in contact with what is real. And that's a big
question what is real? That is sort of the third
category of what I want to talk about is what
is real? And how do we know what is real?
Because this idea of you know, I get on Twitter,
I get on Instagram, and it's like so easy to
just freak out that the stock market is crashing, that
(15:36):
you know we're going to war, like that the world
is falling apart, that like innocent people are dying, that
people are suffering all over the planet, and yes, like
those things are true and they're happening, and I don't
want to be a person who turns a blind eye
to it or who buries my head in the sand necessarily.
And also if I bring myself into the present moment,
(15:57):
if I ground myself down into what is here right now,
the truth of the matter is also I'm in a
peaceful home. Nothing has changed in my environment. And please
don't hear this the wrong way. I'm not trying to
say like, well because I'm not suffering, because I do
know that the suffering can I'm aware and I think
this is why all of us are feeling a little tense,
(16:18):
is that we're aware that the privilege that we've enjoyed
of peace in our country for the last however long
I've been here, is not destined to last. That we
could just as easily be in physical distress as people
in other parts of the world. It's just a reality
(16:38):
that it could easily go that direction. So I'm not
saying that just because you know I have peace in
my neighborhood means I don't need to do anything. I'm
asking the question, what does it look like to stay grounded,
to stay engaged, and to stay in touch with what
is real? How do we even know what is real?
And how do we stay connected and stay in a
(16:58):
place of contribution, because you know, burning out our nervous
systems and running around like chickens with our heads cut
off is really not helpful to the situation. And I
noticed this over the weekend too. How my daughter, my
daughter is almost five, she'll be five in July. She
reacted very differently to the storms than my son did.
I think part of it is temperament, part of it
(17:20):
is age, part of it could be gender. I don't know,
just their general makeup. I think a big piece of
it is age that my daughter is much more aware
of what's happening than Charlie is. And so Nella was
really afraid. She was scared of the thunder, she was
scared of the sirens. It was all extremely overwhelming for her.
She's also a very highly sensitive kid, and I'm highly
sensitive too, And I noticed that when Nella and I
(17:42):
would get in that fear state, that I would try
to calm her down, and it would almost make it worse,
like we were almost like sort of egging each other on.
The more I tried to calm her down, the more
ramped up she got, The more ramped up she got,
the more ramped up I got. The more I tried
to calm her down, the more ramped up she got.
So it's just a wild cycle all week of wanting
(18:03):
to feel calm but not feeling calm. And this is
a great example of staying present to what is here,
what is right in front of you, what is true,
what is real? You know, I've heard spiritual teachers say
the fear is not real, and there is truth in that,
and yet the fear is here, it's right, it's in
my body, and that is what's true right now. One
(18:25):
of the things that I've said to writers over the
years too is as you explore your own inner world
through the tool of writing, that you will discover truths
that were too difficult to admit to yourself before. You
might discover a truth like I'm afraid. And when you
discover that truth, it is true right then, but it
(18:45):
doesn't stay true. And that's the beauty of the tool
of writing is that it allows you to come into
touch with what is true right now, but it doesn't
have to stay true. And through the tool of writing,
you can evolve the truth into something new. So don't
feel like, well, because I'm saying it's true that I'm
overwhelmed right now or I'm scared, or my nervous system
is out of alignment or you know, very activated or whatever,
(19:07):
that doesn't mean that that's going to be true forever.
That's what's true in the present moment, right now, and
coming into touch with what's true right now actually gives
it the power to change. It gives it the power
to shift and evolve. Until I admit what's true, I
have no leverage to change. This makes me think of
an example that's slightly embarrassing to admit. When I was younger,
(19:37):
when I was in my twenties, I started long distance running.
I was living with a roommate at the time, who
I don't know may or may not be listening to this, honestly.
Her name is Rebecca, and we were really close friends.
We lived together for a long time, and she had
a very high powered job, and she was a very
strong athlete, and I admire so admired so many things
(19:58):
about her and really wanted to be like her. And
she was a distance runner, and I was so impressed
always with what she was able to do with her body.
And so I started going on runs with her. And
it was at first, you know, I had never really
run more than like a mile or two, I don't think.
So I started running with her, I started training with her.
I started, you know, she would go to the track
and do wind sprints, and she would teach me how
(20:18):
to do these things, and then we would go on
a four mile run and a five mile run, and
even when she was like on her short run for
the day, I just couldn't keep up with her. It
was my longest run I'd ever done. And I still
couldn't keep up with her. And over time, as I
started training, I started to get a lot stronger and
I was able to do more of the things that
she was able to do. And sometimes I would go
on a run and come home and she would ask
(20:39):
me about my splits, or you know, how far did
you go? And I would exaggerate what I had done.
I would say, like, oh, you know, I did eight
miles when really only did six and a half miles
or something like that. Or I would say like I
did eight minute splits when really I did like a
little over nine minutes. Because I was embarrassed or I
was trying to keep up with her, I was I
don't know, I was just twenty something and dumb, and
(21:00):
so I would exaggerate what I had done. But then
what would happen is I would go on a run
with her and I would have to come up with
some kind of weird explanation for why I couldn't do
the eight minute splits with her, Because, as far as
she was concerned, I was doing these eight minute splits
when I was without her, so why couldn't I do
them when I was with her? And honestly, the whole
time she was probably like, yeah, this girl's just not
telling me the truth was. She probably saw right through it.
(21:23):
But my point in this is if you can't admit
where you are, then you don't have any leverage to improve.
If I can't say to her, well, I'm doing nine
minute splits, but I'd really like to do eight minute splits.
Do you think you could help me improve my speed?
You know, then she probably could have taught me something
or helped me or told me something to, you know,
help me improve those numbers. But because I wasn't being
(21:45):
honest with myself or with her, there was no way
to actually improve. There was nothing to improve on because
the basis of what I was trying to build from
was faulty or fake. And so the same is true
for each of us. If we aren't admitting to ourselves,
are admitting to the people around us what is actually real,
what is actually true for us, then we have nowhere
to go and nowhere to grow from. We have a
(22:07):
faulty foundation that we're building on. And so I'm learning
to fine tune this even more. I at forty one
years old, I can't think of a reason that I
would ever lie about how fast I went on a run.
But maybe there are ways that because I'm trying to
sort of keep up with other people or pretend I'm
(22:28):
stronger than I am, that there are ways that I go, oh, no, no, no,
I'm fine, I'm totally fine, no problem, when in reality
I'm not doing great. In reality, I'm scared. In reality,
I'm having a hard time too. In reality, I need support.
And if I am unable to admit what's true, then
I'm also unable to receive what I need. I'm also
(22:49):
unable to grow, to build on a strong foundation of
something that's valid because I'm building on I'm building on
just air, like I'm building on a faulty foundation, something
that just doesn't exist. And so I want us to
ask ourselves this question, what is true? What is true
for me today? And a writing prompts that I've used
(23:09):
a lot before, and one that you could try is
to just list out ten things that are true for
me today. And the true things could be something as
simple as it's a sunny day outside, so that you
could just look out your window. There's birds chirpping out
my window, and that could be one of the things
that's true for you today. I'm making sour dough bread.
(23:30):
I try to make sour dough bread once a week,
and I fall behind at times, and I've been it's
taken me three weeks to get to this loaf, and
I've got a badge of sour dough bread that's rising
currently in my kitchen. That's true for me today. It
could also be like my nervous system is very activated
this morning. It could be I'm so grateful for a
(23:51):
moment of peace. It could be I'm feeling really sad.
It could be I need some support. It could be
I'm hungry. Whatever it is, Listing the things that are
true for you will help to bring you into the
present moment, to put two feet on the ground, to
have a solid foundation that you can build on and
grow from. It allows you to receive the things that
(24:11):
you need to ask for, what you need to ask for,
what really matters, to stay open all of it. We
cannot contribute, we cannot grow, We cannot solve the problems
that we're facing as a country, as a community, as
a global community. We cannot solve any of these problems
(24:31):
unless we're willing to admit the truth to ourselves. And
I think that there are a lot of people right now.
You know, when we talk about this phrase, the metaphor
of burying your head in the sand, there are plenty
of people who are staying very plugged into the news
who still have their heads buried in the sand about
what's going on. And I just want to challenge you
that nobody else can evaluate this for you. Like if
my roommate at the time that I was lying to
(24:53):
her about my splits, if she had confronted me, I
don't know, you know, I don't know what I would
have said. But if she was like, hey, I noticed
that you're saying you're running eight minute splits, but then
every time I run with you, you're unable to run eight
minute splits, So what's the deal there? You know, that
confrontation maybe would have forced me to make peace with
my own truth. But my point is is that I'm
the one who has to make peace with the truth.
(25:15):
I'm the only one who can evaluate and look at
myself and go, oh, I haven't really been telling myself
the truth here, And if I'm unable to tell myself
the truth, I'm really unable to move forward and to
build on anything. So we only can evaluate for ourselves
if we're actually telling ourselves the truth. And one thing
a therapist told me once that has really stuck with
me and will stick with me for a long long
(25:36):
time is she said, make sure that you're looking at
this situation from all the angles. Make sure you're walking
all the way around a thing before you decide that
you figured it out. Because sometimes we look at something
from our one vantage point and we go, oh, yeah,
I got it, I know everything that's going on. I've
got this all figured out, but we haven't stepped to
(25:58):
the other side of the circle to see it from
sis someone else's perspective. And we can always expand our
vantage point by looking from someone else's perspective, but it
has to start with us. It has to start with
coming in to the present moment, with getting grounded, with
asking what's true for me today? What are ten things
that are true for me right now in this moment.
(26:21):
And once we can do that, then we can broaden
our vantage point and start looking from other perspectives and
we can see a fuller picture. And the fuller the
picture that we can see, the more information that we
have to work with as we begin to heal and
grow and move forward and try to come up with,
you know, constructive solutions to the problems that we're all
facing collectively. And the truth of the matter is, I
(26:45):
don't know how to adequately and accurately assess the problems
that we're facing as a country and the global problems
that we're facing. I don't know the solutions to those problems.
I don't pretend to know. I have my opinions that
I am happy to express when asked. I know that
my opinions are not shared by every single person who's
(27:07):
out there, as evidence by the fact that Trump is
even in office, because that is not a candidate that
I voted for, and I always thought Trump was a
disaster waiting to happen. And I'm okay to be in
disagreement with someone else who feels differently about this situation.
I'm also okay to try to see through their lens
and try to understand the vantage point that they're looking from.
(27:29):
My point in all of this is I don't know
the answers to the big problems. But I know that
the place that we start is to come into alignment
with what is true for me right now, and then
to begin to connect with others from that place. I
know that coming from a place of fear, running around
like chickens with their heads cut off, thinking that we've
got to go immediately solve all of these massive problems,
(27:50):
you know, without without coming into balance with ourselves, is
only going to create more chaos, only going to create
more fear. Only just like my daughter and I and
that endless cycle, it's just like, call down, quick, calm down,
because you're making me feel stressed out. And she can
feel that energy, you know, she can feel that there's
not an allowance for her to be where she is.
She's in her little four year old body like I'm
(28:12):
only four, dude. There's a freaking siren going off, no wonder,
I'm stressed out and just needed her mom to let
her be stressed out. You know. So what am I saying.
I'm saying a lot of different things. As I said
at the beginning of this episode, there were so many
things I wanted to say. I didn't feel like I
could whittle it down to one thing. But the one
thing I want to make sure that you get is
that coming into presence with your life in the midst
(28:36):
of a mess doesn't mean that you have it all together.
The opposite. This is the it's the opposite of what
I was trying to say. Coming into presence with your
life in the midst of a mess means I'm present
with whatever is here. I'm present with the chaos. I'm
present with the fear. I'm present with the sense of loss.
I'm present with the grief. I'm present with the sadness.
(28:57):
I'm present with the not okayness. It's okay to be okay.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel out
of sorts. It's okay to be out of whack. It's okay,
it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed. You're allowed. You're allowed,
You're allowed. And maybe if each of us individually can
allow ourselves to be exactly where we are and to
not feel like we have to have the answers to
(29:17):
all of these massive problems, and we can bring our
nervous systems back to a baseline level, maybe we'll be
ready to collectively come together, to listen, to love, to share,
to make a contribution, to begin to carefully solve these
problems that we're facing. It can feel daunting, it can
feel overwhelming, but a great place to start would be
with the writing prompt ten things that are true for
(29:39):
me today. Make your list, give yourself a big hug,
take good care of yourself, and I will see you
back here next week on the Write Your Story podcast
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun When
you write your story, you get the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and cold. It's all about and write
(00:24):
your story, Rite, write your story. Hello, and welcome back
to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon. I'm
your host on today's episode. There's so many things I
want to talk about, I'm gonna have to whittle it
down to just one. So I think I'll start with
what feels most pressing to me. Given what's unfolding in
(00:45):
front of all of us, or at least many of
us at this time if you live in the United States,
there's a lot that's happening on the political stage, most
of which I feel like I've been avoiding the fray.
I've had my head a bit buried in the sand,
as they say, I've not been on social media. I've
been checking the news much. I don't watch like the
news news. Most of how I get my news is
(01:06):
on social media. And yet because of the way things
have unfolded them last week, and I'll get to that
in just a second. I feel like I'm a little
bit more tuned in to what's been happening than I
often am, and I wonder if the same might be
true for you. As I was thinking about recording this episode,
I was actually thinking about you and thinking like I
need to do like a wellness check. I need to
(01:26):
just like check in and be like, hey, let's check
in with ourselves and ask like, how are we doing?
How am I doing? Because I was getting my kids
loaded up to drop them off at their camp today.
We were out last week for severe weather a couple
of times, and it was a chaotic week, and I'll
get to that in just a second again. But as
I was loading them up this morning, I was just like, man,
I I'm okay, but I'm not okay. I don't know
(01:48):
if that resonates with anyone who's listening, but I'm okay.
I'm going to be okay. I'm going to get myself
feeling grounded again. But this morning, as I was getting
them loaded up, I was just like, I am really
not okay. I need to get these kids to somewhere
where they're going to have a good time and they're
safe and they're covered, and I need to come home
and I need to do some things to take care
of myself. So that's really what I want to talk
about today, because last week I talked about how I
(02:09):
was practicing staying grounded and staying present in my life
even during times of messiness or chaos or stress. And
I talked about how I got stun by b and
had to go to the emergency room and how I
found out my kids had lice and it felt like
everything kind of exploded and unfolded all at once, and
I was practicing this practice of staying in my life,
staying alive to my life, staying present to what is
(02:32):
good about my life even when things are messy, even
when I don't have control, because hey, spoiler alert, we
do not have control over every little detail in our lives.
We can't always have things perfectly organized, and sort of
letting the perfectionist that lives inside of me unravel and
unroll and giving permission for the truest part of me
to live and to realize, like, hey, this is your life,
(02:53):
even when things are not perfectly organized. This is your life,
and there's so much goodness to it. Can you soak it?
All in. Can you receive what your life is trying
to offer you even when it isn't delivered in this
perfectly wrapped up little package like you want it to
be sometimes And that's what I was practicing. And I
even made the comment in last week's episode about how
oftentimes when I decide here's something I'm going to practice
(03:15):
in my life, my life throws me all these opportunities
to practice it. It's like, hey, here's an opportunity to
practice this thing that this habit that you want to implement,
or this you know, this muscle that you want to
exercise or strengthen, Here's an opportunity to get even better
at that thing that you want to do. And life
has not disappointed. It has thrown many opportunities my way
this week for me to practice staying present in my
(03:37):
life even when things are very chaotic. And one of
the things that has come up for me that I
want to talk about today is how staying present for
your life when things are messy is about more than
just staying happy. It's about more than just staying grateful.
It's about more than just staying in a good mood.
It's about more than just staying strong. In fact, it's
about the wholeness of it. It's about staying strong but
(03:58):
also staying soft. It's about staying happy but also allowing
space for sadness when sadness comes up. It's about being
okay but also being not okay and being willing to
admit that to yourself. It's about admitting when you're scared.
It's about admitting when you feel lost. It's about admitting
that you don't know it all, you don't have it
all together. So, after the episode went live on Tuesday
(04:19):
of last week, after I went to the ar on Saturday,
after we had the LFE episode with our kids, we
watched every single item in our house after all of
that messiness unfolded. Then on Wednesday night, we were in
a dead sleep and were woken out of a dead
sleep with tornado sirens, with tornado warnings. We had to
race upstairs and get our kids. I mean, this is
in some ways very routine for people who live in
(04:41):
this part of the world. And if you're listening to
this and you live in the Southeast, you probably did
this run around too, or maybe so. I've talked to
a few people who I'll ask, like, how are the
tornado warnings for you here in Nashville, and people will say, ah,
I slept right through them, which is wild to me.
I mean, like it must be just kind of acclimating
over time to having these sirens go off in the
(05:05):
middle of the night. But for me, it was like
turn my fight or flight response on, turn my nervous
system on fire. Starting Wednesday night, we had severe weather,
flood warnings, et cetera, et cetera happening all day Thursday.
We got basically no sleep Wednesday night. So this is
a big thing too that I want to kind of
throw into the mix that when you get no sleep,
(05:28):
then you don't have the strong foundation that you normally
would have in order to stay grounded, stay present in
your life, stay grateful, whatever, stay open. You don't have
that strong foundation that you would normally have. So we
were up all night Wednesday night. Our kids never went
back to sleep after we were woken up at like
two forty five, So we were up from two forty
five all day Thursday. Our kids were like on a tear.
(05:49):
They were running wild all over the house. They were
stir crazy. We were stir crazy. It was such a
wild day on Thursday they were out of school. Then
Friday they were home with us again, more severe other
you know, more questions about like if storms would be coming,
if they wouldn't be coming. And what I realized is
that staying present to your life when it's messy is
(06:09):
about more than just staying happy. It's about more than
just staying it is staying grounded, that's true, but it's
staying grounded and present to what is there, not just
to what you wish was there, not just to what
you want to be there, not just to you know,
I'm the strong one because I'm the parent, and I'm
going to stay strong for my kids. There is some
element of that, but it's also staying present to the
(06:31):
fact that I'm also scared, staying present to the fact
that I my nervous system is also dysregulated, staying present
to the fact that I'm also not doing greater. I
have these needs that need to be met or whatever,
and the ability to do that is extremely tricky, especially
when there are many different needs, many different preferences, many
(06:52):
different people, all kind of crammed into one space. So
I wanted to talk about this today because personally, this
is the experience I had the last week. You know,
in a week's time, we did an er visit, We
did a lice event where we cleaned every item in
our house, sanitize the kids' heads, every pillow, every piece
of bedding, every levey, every stuffy everything in our whole house.
(07:13):
Then we have back to back tornado warnings, severe weather
on high alert, having trouble sleeping because I'm watching the
weather experts trying to figure out, like, is this storm
going to come near us? Are we going to have
severe weather again overnight? So we're doing that all week
and the ramp up of my nervous system into today.
Today was the first time where I took my kids
(07:34):
to their camp where they go. I dropped them off
for the morning. I came home, I'm sitting in a
quiet house. I'm getting ready to record this episode, and
I was just thinking to myself, you know, part of
staying in your life even when it's messy, is staying
present to what we would consider negative emotions or bad
emotions too. It's staying present to the fact that my
(07:56):
nervous system is extremely activated. And if we want to
have any kind of agency over shaping our story, we
don't have total control over everything, but we do have
a lot of agency to shape our story in the
direction that we want it to go. If we want
to tap into any of that agency, we have to
become aware, very aware of what is here, what is
(08:18):
present right now, what is true? What is real right
this minute? And that can be a challenging question to
answer because there's a lot of social conditioning, there's a
lot of familial conditioning. There's a lot of self judgment,
there's a lot of shame, there's a lot of stuff
that goes on in our heads, voices that say I
shouldn't feel this way. You know, I need to be
(08:38):
the strong one because I'm the parent. You know, there's
no time to like I got to record this podcast.
I don't have time to be in a bad mood
right now, or you know, have needs that need to
be taken care of, like I gotta just get this done.
They've got fourteen things on my to do list. I
got to tick them off before I go pick up
the kids. Again. It's easy to get into that mode
instead of asking ourselves, Okay, what's what's here for me
(08:59):
right now now? And this was the question that I
had for myself this morning. And it's a question that
I had for you as sort of a wellness check,
like a check in how are you doing? How am
I doing? Can you ask yourself that question, like how
am I doing? Really? If I were able to be
really honest with myself or really honest with some trusted
person in my life, what would I say? I said
(09:20):
to my husband this morning, like I'm okay, but I'm
also not okay. I just need you to know, like,
I'm not okay right now. It has been a wild,
long week. I've not gotten enough sleep. Sleep throws everything
else off. We've had all this crazy stuff happening with
the weather, you know, and then on top of that,
if you live in the US, you've also been watching
(09:41):
things unfold on the political stage that can be really
upsetting and unnerving. And you know, I've pretty much avoided
the fray recently. I sent out an email this past
week to my subscribers saying that I have been in
like a hibernation state since about October when I lost
my dad. I I have not been on social media.
I haven't been checking in with the news. I don't
(10:03):
really watch the news anyway. I get most of my
news from social media. So I just haven't really been
like up to date on what's going on. And you
might have thoughts or judgments about that or whatever about
baring your head in the proverbial sand, but I just
have not been in touch or in tune with what's
been going on. But when the severe weather was happening
over the weekend, one of the ways that I stay
(10:23):
in touch with the severe weather is through a Twitter
account and an Instagram account called Nashville severe Weather. There's
a group of guys who have come together to help
keep people informed in the Nashville area around what's happening
with you know, tornadoes and severe thunderstorms and other kind
of weather events that happen here. And they are honestly
(10:43):
so wonderful. Total side note, but like I saw someone
describe them as the dads of Nashville, and I was like,
that is the perfect, the perfect description, Like something about
just hearing their voice on YouTube Live when there's a
severe weather event going on is so calming and so well,
you know, when the sirens go off, we'll go get
our kids and take them to our storm shelter, and
(11:04):
then I'll turn on YouTube live and just listen to
these guys talk about where the storm is and what's happening,
and you know, just helping you kind of like get
a gauge for what the threat is for your area.
And as long as they're calm, I'm calm. And then
the minute that they were like, Okay, I have to
go wake up my family now because the storm is
in our area, then you know, at the minute that
I see them panic, it's like all downhill for me
(11:27):
from there. But the description of them as the dads
of Nashville, I was like, that's absolutely it. It's like,
as long as dad's good, I'm good. The minute I
see Dad loose's mind, everything goes downhill from there. So anyway,
all of that to say, I don't get on Twitter
or x or whatever it's called now ever except for
to go look at the Nashville spere Weather account. That's
(11:47):
the only one reason and I'm not exaggerating it is
the one reason that I still have that app on
my phone, or that I still get on the app
is to look at what's happening with Nashville spear Weather.
And they have an Instagram account to but the Twitter
account seems to be easier to read. For like a
minute by minute updates when they're giving updates on weather stuff.
So I will usually check in on Twitter and I'll
(12:09):
check in on Instagram, which is I'm only saying that
it's only important to the story to say that when
I get on Twitter to look for Nashville severe weather,
I'm also catching, you know, quick hooks from other people
who have posted on Twitter. So if someone posts something
on Twitter that's a really good hook, then I'm there
looking for Nashville severe weather. But I might get sort
(12:30):
of sidetracked or derailed looking at another tweet. And this
happened a time or two over the course of the
past week, and on Instagram too. I actually, by last
night was just like, get my phone out of my hand,
because I think I was overactivated already from everything that
was happening. Scrolling on Instagram gives you those kind of
happy serotonin dopamine chemicals, which can help you to feel
(12:53):
more calm in the long run. It doesn't really keep
you calm, but it does help you feel more calm
in the moment. So I was finding myself just kind
of scrolling the last couple days on Instagram and seeing
things that I wouldn't have seen otherwise. So that was
a long story to say that I've been seeing things
on Twitter and on Instagram that I wouldn't have seen
otherwise that are unfolding politically, that are happening in the world.
(13:14):
And here's what's wild to me to think about. I
don't know if you've considered this, but it's wild to
me to think about that. If I wasn't on Twitter
and Instagram, if I wasn't looking at what was happening
with the stock market right now, with like decisions that
Trump has made to drop a bomb or whatever else,
if I wasn't looking at these things on Twitter and Instagram,
I literally wouldn't even know that they're happening. My life
(13:37):
would go on as usual. And I don't know what
you make of this or what kind of story you
make up about it, but it kind of sends my
brain into like a little bit of a spiral, Like
I'm just like, is it even real that it's happening?
But then of course it is real because real people
out there are really suffering. And so the question I
ask myself is like, what is our responsibility to engage?
(14:06):
So I'm asking these questions and starting this conversation I'm
coming in kind of messy. I'm coming in without clear answers,
but I do want to talk about a couple of things.
I want to talk about. Number One, how part of
staying present to your life when it's messy is staying
present to all of it, every single part of it.
And that's what I think this episode is really about,
so sting present to the sadness, sting present to the fear,
(14:29):
sting present to the loneliness, staying present to the confusion,
sting present to the lostness, staying present to the feeling
out of sortsness, staying present to not being okay, and
also sting present to gratitude, and sting present to what's
so beautiful about your life, and staying present to the
goodness of it all, and sting present to the nourishment
and the food and the friends and the moments of
connection and those things that keep us afloat in times
(14:52):
of distress. Staying present to the fullness of all of it.
That's a big part of it. Another part about what
I want to talk about is how do we stay
grounded in times of distress. That's how I want to
say that, because grounded doesn't mean happy, grounded means in touch,
it means two feet on the ground. It means I'm
(15:13):
in contact with what is real. And that's a big
question what is real? That is sort of the third
category of what I want to talk about is what
is real? And how do we know what is real?
Because this idea of you know, I get on Twitter,
I get on Instagram, and it's like so easy to
just freak out that the stock market is crashing, that
(15:36):
you know we're going to war, like that the world
is falling apart, that like innocent people are dying, that
people are suffering all over the planet, and yes, like
those things are true and they're happening, and I don't
want to be a person who turns a blind eye
to it or who buries my head in the sand necessarily.
And also if I bring myself into the present moment,
(15:57):
if I ground myself down into what is here right now,
the truth of the matter is also I'm in a
peaceful home. Nothing has changed in my environment. And please
don't hear this the wrong way. I'm not trying to
say like, well because I'm not suffering, because I do
know that the suffering can I'm aware and I think
this is why all of us are feeling a little tense,
(16:18):
is that we're aware that the privilege that we've enjoyed
of peace in our country for the last however long
I've been here, is not destined to last. That we
could just as easily be in physical distress as people
in other parts of the world. It's just a reality
(16:38):
that it could easily go that direction. So I'm not
saying that just because you know I have peace in
my neighborhood means I don't need to do anything. I'm
asking the question, what does it look like to stay grounded,
to stay engaged, and to stay in touch with what
is real? How do we even know what is real?
And how do we stay connected and stay in a
(16:58):
place of contribution, because you know, burning out our nervous
systems and running around like chickens with our heads cut
off is really not helpful to the situation. And I
noticed this over the weekend too. How my daughter, my
daughter is almost five, she'll be five in July. She
reacted very differently to the storms than my son did.
I think part of it is temperament, part of it
(17:20):
is age, part of it could be gender. I don't know,
just their general makeup. I think a big piece of
it is age that my daughter is much more aware
of what's happening than Charlie is. And so Nella was
really afraid. She was scared of the thunder, she was
scared of the sirens. It was all extremely overwhelming for her.
She's also a very highly sensitive kid, and I'm highly
sensitive too, And I noticed that when Nella and I
(17:42):
would get in that fear state, that I would try
to calm her down, and it would almost make it worse,
like we were almost like sort of egging each other on.
The more I tried to calm her down, the more
ramped up she got, The more ramped up she got,
the more ramped up I got. The more I tried
to calm her down, the more ramped up she got.
So it's just a wild cycle all week of wanting
(18:03):
to feel calm but not feeling calm. And this is
a great example of staying present to what is here,
what is right in front of you, what is true,
what is real? You know, I've heard spiritual teachers say
the fear is not real, and there is truth in that,
and yet the fear is here, it's right, it's in
my body, and that is what's true right now. One
(18:25):
of the things that I've said to writers over the
years too is as you explore your own inner world
through the tool of writing, that you will discover truths
that were too difficult to admit to yourself before. You
might discover a truth like I'm afraid. And when you
discover that truth, it is true right then, but it
(18:45):
doesn't stay true. And that's the beauty of the tool
of writing is that it allows you to come into
touch with what is true right now, but it doesn't
have to stay true. And through the tool of writing,
you can evolve the truth into something new. So don't
feel like, well, because I'm saying it's true that I'm
overwhelmed right now or I'm scared, or my nervous system
is out of alignment or you know, very activated or whatever,
(19:07):
that doesn't mean that that's going to be true forever.
That's what's true in the present moment, right now, and
coming into touch with what's true right now actually gives
it the power to change. It gives it the power
to shift and evolve. Until I admit what's true, I
have no leverage to change. This makes me think of
an example that's slightly embarrassing to admit. When I was younger,
(19:37):
when I was in my twenties, I started long distance running.
I was living with a roommate at the time, who
I don't know may or may not be listening to this, honestly.
Her name is Rebecca, and we were really close friends.
We lived together for a long time, and she had
a very high powered job, and she was a very
strong athlete, and I admire so admired so many things
(19:58):
about her and really wanted to be like her. And
she was a distance runner, and I was so impressed
always with what she was able to do with her body.
And so I started going on runs with her. And
it was at first, you know, I had never really
run more than like a mile or two, I don't think.
So I started running with her, I started training with her.
I started, you know, she would go to the track
and do wind sprints, and she would teach me how
(20:18):
to do these things, and then we would go on
a four mile run and a five mile run, and
even when she was like on her short run for
the day, I just couldn't keep up with her. It
was my longest run I'd ever done. And I still
couldn't keep up with her. And over time, as I
started training, I started to get a lot stronger and
I was able to do more of the things that
she was able to do. And sometimes I would go
on a run and come home and she would ask
(20:39):
me about my splits, or you know, how far did
you go? And I would exaggerate what I had done.
I would say, like, oh, you know, I did eight
miles when really only did six and a half miles
or something like that. Or I would say like I
did eight minute splits when really I did like a
little over nine minutes. Because I was embarrassed or I
was trying to keep up with her, I was I
don't know, I was just twenty something and dumb, and
(21:00):
so I would exaggerate what I had done. But then
what would happen is I would go on a run
with her and I would have to come up with
some kind of weird explanation for why I couldn't do
the eight minute splits with her, Because, as far as
she was concerned, I was doing these eight minute splits
when I was without her, so why couldn't I do
them when I was with her? And honestly, the whole
time she was probably like, yeah, this girl's just not
telling me the truth was. She probably saw right through it.
(21:23):
But my point in this is if you can't admit
where you are, then you don't have any leverage to improve.
If I can't say to her, well, I'm doing nine
minute splits, but I'd really like to do eight minute splits.
Do you think you could help me improve my speed?
You know, then she probably could have taught me something
or helped me or told me something to, you know,
help me improve those numbers. But because I wasn't being
(21:45):
honest with myself or with her, there was no way
to actually improve. There was nothing to improve on because
the basis of what I was trying to build from
was faulty or fake. And so the same is true
for each of us. If we aren't admitting to ourselves,
are admitting to the people around us what is actually real,
what is actually true for us, then we have nowhere
to go and nowhere to grow from. We have a
(22:07):
faulty foundation that we're building on. And so I'm learning
to fine tune this even more. I at forty one
years old, I can't think of a reason that I
would ever lie about how fast I went on a run.
But maybe there are ways that because I'm trying to
sort of keep up with other people or pretend I'm
(22:28):
stronger than I am, that there are ways that I go, oh, no, no, no,
I'm fine, I'm totally fine, no problem, when in reality
I'm not doing great. In reality, I'm scared. In reality,
I'm having a hard time too. In reality, I need support.
And if I am unable to admit what's true, then
I'm also unable to receive what I need. I'm also
(22:49):
unable to grow, to build on a strong foundation of
something that's valid because I'm building on I'm building on
just air, like I'm building on a faulty foundation, something
that just doesn't exist. And so I want us to
ask ourselves this question, what is true? What is true
for me today? And a writing prompts that I've used
(23:09):
a lot before, and one that you could try is
to just list out ten things that are true for
me today. And the true things could be something as
simple as it's a sunny day outside, so that you
could just look out your window. There's birds chirpping out
my window, and that could be one of the things
that's true for you today. I'm making sour dough bread.
(23:30):
I try to make sour dough bread once a week,
and I fall behind at times, and I've been it's
taken me three weeks to get to this loaf, and
I've got a badge of sour dough bread that's rising
currently in my kitchen. That's true for me today. It
could also be like my nervous system is very activated
this morning. It could be I'm so grateful for a
(23:51):
moment of peace. It could be I'm feeling really sad.
It could be I need some support. It could be
I'm hungry. Whatever it is, Listing the things that are
true for you will help to bring you into the
present moment, to put two feet on the ground, to
have a solid foundation that you can build on and
grow from. It allows you to receive the things that
(24:11):
you need to ask for, what you need to ask for,
what really matters, to stay open all of it. We
cannot contribute, we cannot grow, We cannot solve the problems
that we're facing as a country, as a community, as
a global community. We cannot solve any of these problems
(24:31):
unless we're willing to admit the truth to ourselves. And
I think that there are a lot of people right now.
You know, when we talk about this phrase, the metaphor
of burying your head in the sand, there are plenty
of people who are staying very plugged into the news
who still have their heads buried in the sand about
what's going on. And I just want to challenge you
that nobody else can evaluate this for you. Like if
my roommate at the time that I was lying to
(24:53):
her about my splits, if she had confronted me, I
don't know, you know, I don't know what I would
have said. But if she was like, hey, I noticed
that you're saying you're running eight minute splits, but then
every time I run with you, you're unable to run eight
minute splits, So what's the deal there? You know, that
confrontation maybe would have forced me to make peace with
my own truth. But my point is is that I'm
the one who has to make peace with the truth.
(25:15):
I'm the only one who can evaluate and look at
myself and go, oh, I haven't really been telling myself
the truth here, And if I'm unable to tell myself
the truth, I'm really unable to move forward and to
build on anything. So we only can evaluate for ourselves
if we're actually telling ourselves the truth. And one thing
a therapist told me once that has really stuck with
me and will stick with me for a long long
(25:36):
time is she said, make sure that you're looking at
this situation from all the angles. Make sure you're walking
all the way around a thing before you decide that
you figured it out. Because sometimes we look at something
from our one vantage point and we go, oh, yeah,
I got it, I know everything that's going on. I've
got this all figured out, but we haven't stepped to
(25:58):
the other side of the circle to see it from
sis someone else's perspective. And we can always expand our
vantage point by looking from someone else's perspective, but it
has to start with us. It has to start with
coming in to the present moment, with getting grounded, with
asking what's true for me today? What are ten things
that are true for me right now in this moment.
(26:21):
And once we can do that, then we can broaden
our vantage point and start looking from other perspectives and
we can see a fuller picture. And the fuller the
picture that we can see, the more information that we
have to work with as we begin to heal and
grow and move forward and try to come up with,
you know, constructive solutions to the problems that we're all
facing collectively. And the truth of the matter is, I
(26:45):
don't know how to adequately and accurately assess the problems
that we're facing as a country and the global problems
that we're facing. I don't know the solutions to those problems.
I don't pretend to know. I have my opinions that
I am happy to express when asked. I know that
my opinions are not shared by every single person who's
(27:07):
out there, as evidence by the fact that Trump is
even in office, because that is not a candidate that
I voted for, and I always thought Trump was a
disaster waiting to happen. And I'm okay to be in
disagreement with someone else who feels differently about this situation.
I'm also okay to try to see through their lens
and try to understand the vantage point that they're looking from.
(27:29):
My point in all of this is I don't know
the answers to the big problems. But I know that
the place that we start is to come into alignment
with what is true for me right now, and then
to begin to connect with others from that place. I
know that coming from a place of fear, running around
like chickens with their heads cut off, thinking that we've
got to go immediately solve all of these massive problems,
(27:50):
you know, without without coming into balance with ourselves, is
only going to create more chaos, only going to create
more fear. Only just like my daughter and I and
that endless cycle, it's just like, call down, quick, calm down,
because you're making me feel stressed out. And she can
feel that energy, you know, she can feel that there's
not an allowance for her to be where she is.
She's in her little four year old body like I'm
(28:12):
only four, dude. There's a freaking siren going off, no wonder,
I'm stressed out and just needed her mom to let
her be stressed out. You know. So what am I saying.
I'm saying a lot of different things. As I said
at the beginning of this episode, there were so many
things I wanted to say. I didn't feel like I
could whittle it down to one thing. But the one
thing I want to make sure that you get is
that coming into presence with your life in the midst
(28:36):
of a mess doesn't mean that you have it all together.
The opposite. This is the it's the opposite of what
I was trying to say. Coming into presence with your
life in the midst of a mess means I'm present
with whatever is here. I'm present with the chaos. I'm
present with the fear. I'm present with the sense of loss.
I'm present with the grief. I'm present with the sadness.
(28:57):
I'm present with the not okayness. It's okay to be okay.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel out
of sorts. It's okay to be out of whack. It's okay,
it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed. You're allowed. You're allowed,
You're allowed. And maybe if each of us individually can
allow ourselves to be exactly where we are and to
not feel like we have to have the answers to
(29:17):
all of these massive problems, and we can bring our
nervous systems back to a baseline level, maybe we'll be
ready to collectively come together, to listen, to love, to share,
to make a contribution, to begin to carefully solve these
problems that we're facing. It can feel daunting, it can
feel overwhelming, but a great place to start would be
with the writing prompt ten things that are true for
(29:39):
me today. Make your list, give yourself a big hug,
take good care of yourself, and I will see you
back here next week on the Write Your Story podcast
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