Death Doesn’t Have To Be Scary w/ Dr. Amy Robbins

On this Episode of You Down? the girls talk about death and the afterlife with clinical psychologist, medium, and host of the podcast Life, Death, and the Space Between, Dr. Amy Robbins. They discuss the importance of not avoiding the topic of death, how being a medium shapes thoughts on the afterlife, and the biggest question we all have - what happens when we die? The girls also help a listener who is dealing with an oversized package. And we aren’t talking about Amazon. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to you Down, a production of Shonda Land Audio
and partnership with I Heartredio. You really have to move
the other mock out of the way so you can
be aware of when these things are happening. When you're
Claire's you know, the Claire cognisance, clairvoyance, Claire audience, Claire
sentience are are being tapped because it's that's subtle where

(00:21):
you're like, oh, that's coming from outside of me, not
inside of me. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to you
down a podcast were four Funny Honey has come together
to talk about what's going on in the culture. I
am Yasmin Mounet Watkins and I'm Ashley Holstin, but collectively

(00:47):
we are known as Obama's Other Daughters minus one minus one.
But she'll be here later. She's going to join us
for the combo. Yes, and today we're asking are you
down with death? I don't know too many people who

(01:07):
are down with death, but death is definitely down with
all of us down. It's an inevitable part of our
journey as humans and one will all experience in a
multitude of ways, but we seldom talk about our own
mortality and the afterlife in casual conversation. We never talked

(01:27):
about it around my kitchen taste anyway. I don't know
about y'all. Well, we talk about the people who ain't
gonna make it to a good place, if you know
what I mean. Um, we didn't talk about it in
my family. But with the rise of shows like Surviving
Death and Upload, we think folks are more than ready
to have conversation surrounding death and what comes after it.

(01:51):
So joining us today is Clinical Psychologists, medium and host
of the podcast Life, Death and the Spacing between Dr
Amy Robbits. But first, you know, we're going to check
in with each other. Ladies, what do you love? What
do you hate? So I really love Earlier this week,
I gifted myself like time to myself, which I don't

(02:16):
do that often, um, to just like sit down and
process and be like where am I feeling? But I
went to the beach and I roller skated and I
like read, Um, I read a couple of books, most
new book Clorine Sky, and I just had the best
time at the beach and then I like had a
night at a hotel and I like went to a

(02:38):
fancy dinner by myself and like it was wonderful, Like
I was just like, I'm enjoying my own company. It's
important to enjoy your own company. Some people can't do it,
they really can't. It was hard, it was I didn't
realize that people don't like being by themselves until I
started taking solo trips and people would be shady, like,

(03:00):
you must really like your alone time. You don't like yourself.
I know, I love my alone time. Shoot live alone.
I remember I used to go to the movies alone. Shoot.
I mean I also worked in red Yeah, I worked
at the movie theater, so I got used to just like, well,
I'm just popping, go watch a movie, get a bag
of popcorn, relaxed myself. Y'all have been to a concert

(03:21):
by myself alone time? I was traumatized the one time
in middle school I went to a movie I saw
my big fat Greek wedding by myself, and I was
like trying desperately not to laugh because I just felt
weird laughing alone. Like I was like, I laughed at
myself all day. I'm the loudest one too, But that's lovely,

(03:47):
what y'all of him. I have gotten back into roller
skating now that the weather is nice in Virginia, and
weather has also permitted me to be back working on
the bus trying to turn into a tiny home. It's
been real cold, so I've been unmotivated. But I have
been having some trouble with getting just like mechanics. I'm

(04:09):
not a mechanic. I'm learning though, right. But my beautiful
baby brother has married into a family with a genius
living in it and they live across the street from him.
So he is my father in law. Is that my
father in law? If it's my brother's wife's dead, I
don't know, but he is. He's like an engineer, and

(04:32):
well what would he be? What would he be? He
just your brother's wife's that's too much. So but yeah,
he's he's a computer engineer and he dabbles in mechanics
on the side. He rebuilt my uh sister in law's car.

(04:53):
So I really came up. I had been praying for
since a and I got one to first provide. I
can't wait for your tiny home, Ashley. It's nice. I
already know it is. I am um, you know, or hating?

(05:14):
You know, you could hate something too, Yeah, I will
go with a love. Um, it's just something small, but I,
you know, do cross fit and I'm like out of shape,
in and out of shape all the time. But the
other day I tried to do a pull up, and
I can do pull ups. Y'all nice the first time
you knew you could do pull ups. I used to

(05:36):
be able to do pull ups like it was easy,
you know what I mean, Like four year old share
twenty three year old was on the bar like I'm strong,
I'm strong, And then since I've gotten back to uh,
you know, lifting and stuff, i haven't been able to
do them. I've been using like the thickest band and like,
for whatever reason, I just jumped up on the bar, like,

(05:57):
let's just see if I could do a pull up.
And I did, like too, and I was like, oh
my god, you should do that. Was spirit telling you girl,
ahead and touch yourself. You're capable of more than you know, right,
I was like, shoot, I might even get off my
knees for these push ups. Amen, push up. I feel
like I've never been able I do flex arm hang,

(06:17):
but I've never been able to do a pull up.
And it's been one of my lifelong goals that I'm
just sitting by the wayside but I feel like I
would be I would feel so strong and capable. Practice
with a band there's levels to you know, and then
when you get used to it with the band, you
also practice with kiping pull ups. So let me be clear.
I did a kip and pull up, not a regular
strip pull up strip pull up. There's no momentum to

(06:39):
help pull the body up. Kiping you kind of do
like a gym when he does the jerky jerky and
then you pull yourself over. So kipping wise, I can
do two little but I couldn't do that, you know,
a couple of months ago. So you should get a
pull up bar for your place. Who's gonna put? I mean,
granted it sucked up our door. Say we had we

(07:04):
had one for a good long while, and every time
I passed it, I'd be like, let me try a
pull up man, So'll like give you the motivation every
up your home. Okay, y'all, I am ready to get
into this week's topic, which is death. And here to
talk to us about the afterlife is dr Amy Robbins.

(07:26):
We're going to talk to her right after the break.
All right, welcome back today. We are talking about death
with Dr Amy Robbins. Dr Robbins is a clinical psychologist, medium,

(07:49):
and host of the podcast Life, Death and the Space Between.
Her understanding of the human psyche, combined with our personal
experiences connecting with loved ones who have passed, provides are
a unique perspective on life, death, consciousness, and what it
all means. Welcome, Okay, thank you, this is so fun.

(08:13):
First question, do you see any ghosts behind any of us? No?
Not right now, just checking, just checking. The second question,
is that an annoying question? Yes? Right, yeah, I mean
it's either that. That's usually one question I got. The
other question is usually do you know what's wrong with me?

(08:36):
From the psychological perspective, it's like, how are you analyzing
me right now? My response is always like, you're not
paying me enough to do that. That is a great
So what got you interested in studying consciousness in the afterlife?
So my story is sort of spans over about twenty years. Actually,

(09:00):
when I was eighteen years old, I lost my aunt.
She had diabetes juvenile once at diabetes and was waiting
for a pancreas and kidney transplant. And while she was
waiting for it, they needed to make sure that her
heart and lungs or her that her organs would be
strong enough to withstand the transplant, and when they went

(09:21):
in to check everything out, they realized that it probably
wasn't going to be, so she couldn't be on the list.
So they went into just check further and to repair
any damage that had been done. And when they went in,
they realized that she had had several heart attacks she
never knew about, and her the arteries to her hearts
were like little twigs and they were unable to revive her.

(09:43):
So she died on the table. She was forty eight
years old at the time. It was a huge loss
for all of us. My aunt was like a second
mother to me. My family is extremely close, and so
this really sort of sent me in this motion of
really grief at the time, and I was in college
and I went right back to school, and so I

(10:05):
didn't really have time to grieve appropriately. I was a
psychic undergrad. I knew I wanted to probably be in
the helping profession, and she really was a guide for
me both in life in death and once she crossed over,
so I struggled with a lot of anxiety around death
and dying and what it meant to die and really

(10:28):
like had a panic, my first panic attack when I
was twenty two. A lot of sort of her psychological
stuff that I had kind of taken on as as
trying to understand myself and her life. And then I
went to grad school to become a psychologist, and about
a year and a half into grad school, I had

(10:51):
what I now know was an after death communication, a
visit from her, and so I had sort of gone
through I was going through the grief process, and I
was in therapy grieving the loss of her and everything.
And then I was in grad school studying all about
psychology and grief, and then I had this experience that happened.
How did you know that she was coming to visit? You? Like,

(11:13):
how did it happen? Yeah, So my first experience, and
I've since learned because through my podcast, this is basically
all I talked about is an exploration of all of this.
I had what is known as an after death communication
in a sort of semi conscious state. So I was asleep,
but it's like that in between state, you know, when

(11:34):
you're like when you've just sort of maybe woken up
early in the morning and fallen back to sleep, and
I remember when I woke up kind of officially thinking,
I feel like I was just talking to her, like
she was just here. I mean, it was so real
to me. And in that experience, in that communication, that visitation,

(11:55):
she came to me and she said, she showed me
too really clear image is one was my mom standing
at the dishwasher in the house that I grew up in,
washing dishes, looking out the window. And my aunt said
to me, in this visit, you need to tell mom,
your mom not to be upset. Let her know I'll
be at the wedding. She doesn't need to be upset

(12:16):
that I'm not going to be there. And it was
around the time my cousin was getting married. It was
very who was her son. And then I saw a
vision of my uncle, her brother she had my my
mom is her sister, and then she had two siblings.
And in that vision, my uncle was talking to her
while he was pushing my cousin in a stroller, and

(12:40):
she said, let him know, I always hear him when
he's talking to me when he's out walking or running.
So I called my mom that morning and I said, Mom,
I had this weird I guess it was a dream.
I had this weird dream last night. That's the only
word I knew for it at the time. And I
described to her what happened, and she started crying, and

(13:01):
she said, I was standing at my kitchen sink last
night crying, saying, Linda, I wish you could be at
the wedding. I can't believe you're not going to be
here to experience it. Wow, yeah and so and so.

(13:21):
At that moment, I was like, okay. And then I
called my uncle and he said the same thing. I
always am talking to her when I'm running or when
I'm outside. And then I went to school because I
had class that day, and I said to I went
into my professor and I was like, okay, here's what
happened to me. I don't really understand it was it

(13:41):
a dream. And she was very grounded in psychological theory
and very grounded in science, but she was also very spiritual,
and she said, I think you had a visit, and
I think maybe this is something you should think about
fostering for yourself. And I really dismissed it because I
was like, I mean, grad school, I don't have time

(14:03):
for that. And then it happened again when my grandfather
passed away a couple of years later, and then it
started happening more frequently with patients loved ones who started
coming to me. And that's when I was like, oh boy,
I got this. Can't be the kid. I gotta get
a handle in this situation. Were you a a believer in
the afterlife before you had these experiences? Definitely curious? Yeah,

(14:28):
oh not at all, like totally grounded in science. Family
all like doctors and my dad's a dentist, and not
not even in my wheelhouse of possibility. I was gonna say,
because I am a very much a skeptic and have
had my own experience and it's the only thing that

(14:49):
makes me sure that there's something after this, and I
imagine like not having that and then, you know, just
being a skeptic. So I guess being a medium has
really opened you up to what the afterlife is. Or
that's more of a question than a statement. Yeah, I mean,
I'm like you. I was actually interviewing someone the other
day about this and he had said he had asked

(15:11):
the question, would you rather have the experience of having
a medium talk to your loved one or would you
rather have a visit? And he said more people would
rather have the experience of the medium, and I said,
I actually prefer having my own experience because, similar to you,
I've gone to see mediums before, I've gone in large settings,

(15:31):
and I think that people often walk away. Initially while
they're in the moment, they're like, oh my god, for
sure they are communicating with my loved one. And then
sometimes they walk away and they start to question, oh, well,
they could have figured this out, or they could have
figured that out. But with your own experience, as you know,
it's undeniable, it becomes so real to you that you

(15:53):
start to think, of course this has to be because
what other explanation is there. I definitely felt that way.
Like the week before my uncle Bobby passed away. I
remember like I had a dream and it didn't look
exactly like him, but it was like he was in
this circle or semicircle and like being welcomed by I

(16:15):
guess what I could only like a group of people
that I would call ancestors. And then like a week
later he passed well, And I think that that begs
the question, like when does the soul leave the body?
You know, because some people have said the soul kind
of comes and goes as someone's transitioning towards us, so
that the soul leaves and comes back, and leaves and

(16:37):
comes back, and people report, you know, often that they
I was just reading something today about their deathbed visits
where people will say, there's my you know, uncle and
grandfather who passed away standing there, and they're not hallucinations.
Some people would say they are hallucinations, but there's a
whole lot of research saying so many people have these experience,

(17:00):
says and um Only Surviving Death on Netflix the hospice
situation where they were talking about, yeah, I just saw
my aunt. I know I'm about to die soon, and
you know, I'm going to go see my ancestors and
other people who have passed on. I mean literally my dad.
Like so, my dad passed in November. In November, and

(17:23):
in the time like that we were taking care of
him beforehand. He'd be like, yeah, you know, my mom
is in the other room. Like he'd say stuff like that,
and we'd be like, what Dad, And like he mentioned,
like my aunt I Vonne was there. She's passed on
since Like there were people that were not there that
he was like, Oh. Then he also was like that
little girl says you cussed a lot, and I was like,

(17:44):
m hmmm, what girl was that dead? Future? Yeah, I
mean he did actually say he's like. He also was
like that white boy says you're pregnant, and I was like, really,
like random planned parent had got my little test. I
was like, not pregnant, but I feel like, well, and

(18:11):
there's you know, sometimes we don't know loved ones that
have passed over that are still on the other side.
You know, could be um early miscarriage, that's a little
soul over there. You know, things sometimes that we as
as we are living in this earth now, weren't made
aware of. Maybe our family members had babies before we

(18:32):
got here that passed away that they never spoke of.
So those things happened. Um Aban Alexander, who wrote Proof
of Heaven, talks about this that he had this journey
in his near death experience and in that he met
I think it was a sister from his biological family.
He was adopted, I believe, and he never knew that

(18:54):
he had this sister who had passed away, but he
met her when he had this near death experience. So
why do you think it's important for folks to explore
the concepts of life, death, and consciousness. First of all,
I think it's just fascinating. It's just so interesting to contemplate,
to think about, to talk about. And I think when

(19:16):
we can start to explore death and we can start
to think about our own mortality and to think about
what it means to die and what it means to live,
and even what happens after we die. Many near death
experiencers who have reported if you saw the Surviving Death series,
you probably heard them talk about this concept of a
life review where you really experience what happens when you

(19:37):
were alive from the perspective of many of the people
whose lives you affected. So it could be positive and negative.
But I think when you think about that, what does
that then mean about how you live your life? And
we're not conscious about that at all, you know, we
go through the days, we don't really contemplate death, we
don't think about it. But when you do, and when

(19:59):
you stop to think about, oh, I wonder like, was
that interaction the way I would have really wanted it
to be. Am I really giving? Or am I being
the person I want to be? Am I giving love?
And the way that I want to give love. Am
I ending my day making sure that everybody that I
care about knows what's important to you. Death has a

(20:20):
way of putting that in our face, and most people
don't face that until they are really facing death. But
why wait, Like at that point you're it's it's late
in the game, and hopefully it's late in the game.
I also feel like talking about it and like having
I don't know it creates less fear around it. I

(20:41):
feel like that's why a lot of people don't talk
about it, because it's just such a scary thing because
there's such an unknowing, but like it happens, and it's
at the end to the entire being. Is just the
end of the body in my opinion. Yeah, And when
you cannot fear death again, you can live life so
much more full, right because you're not paralyzed by oh

(21:03):
my gosh, am I going to do this? And this
is going to be the thing that kills me? And
I think this year really for so many if they're
willing to look at it, has I mean, death has
been staring us all in the face, you know, for
the past year, And how are we dealing with that?
You know? Are we paralyzed by fear? Are we unable

(21:25):
to leave our houses? Are we spending time with the
people we love that matter to us? Are we, you know,
throwing caution to the wind and saying it doesn't matter.
I mean, everybody has a different response to it. Death
is staring us down right now, and that I think
is so profound to watch, knowing how much people fear

(21:47):
death and how much anxiety people have around death but
won't touch a discussion on mortality, my therapist echoed something
similar about, like what is it that you like it?
It forces you to contend with like what do you
want from your life? Like what do you want your legacy?
What do you want your days to look like? Because
it reminds you like how finite it is or life

(22:09):
can be. But what do you think happens after physical death?
Do you think there's like heaven or hell or a
limbo space in between? Who got it right? I don't.
I don't know. I don't think the religions did per se.
But do I have an answer for sure? No? I
think no one knows for sure. That's why it's such

(22:31):
an interesting topic because people just talk about it and
debate it. I think that heaven and hell really is
about how we've treated others, so that that life review
to me is like if you were mostly kind to people,
mostly compassionate, not perfect, you know, I think that's ridiculous

(22:52):
to expect that. But if you approach the world with
love and compassion and kindness and care and awareness and
sell awareness and you took care of yourself, then that's
going to be more heavenly for you. And if you didn't,
probably not going to be so pretty on the other side.
And I don't think of how is like you're going
to this burning inferno. I just think of it as

(23:12):
you are going to feel what other people felt when
you interacted with them, and if it wasn't positive, it's
probably not going to feel so good. That is the
definition that makes the most sense to me. I grew
up Catholic with purgatory and all kinds of mambo jumbos
to describe the process of death. So in my own

(23:34):
understanding of it, everything you're saying. And I've had two
people very close to me this year commit suicide, so
I've had to face it in a way I never
have before. But similar to what the other ladies were saying,
there were spiritual moments that happened before they all both
passed that didn't make any sense. Like an uncle who

(23:55):
passed away by suicide. We did a show in San
Francisco at the San Francisco's catch Fest. I hadn't talked
to him in so long, but invited him to the
show and he ended up not being able to come.
But I spoke to him for like thirty minutes, and
he's my you know, very much older, not my contemporary.
And then Valentine's Day will be the anniversary of his death.
So it was like just so strange that, like, why

(24:16):
would I sit and talk to this relative that I
don't really have any connection, you know, And I feel
like that was almost a foreshadowing or something. Yeah, it's
really weird how those synchronicities can happen. Sometimes they can
happen before death, and they can happen after death, where
when you look back, it's like, huh, I wonder what

(24:38):
that was about. How the universe works in such a
magical way, in that way that you were able to
have that last conversation with him, which I think I mean,
then that opens up the door to so many questions. Yeah,
so many who's kind of controlling all of this behind
the scenes, and how does that happen and what does

(24:59):
this look like? And I I'm hoping to explore this
more with like quantum physics and quantum mechanics, which seems
like way over my house. I love that, but I'm
hoping to get someone who can kind of dumb it
down for me a little bit and speak to me
on my level. But I know I've always felt I'll
never forgotten grad school. This professor I was talking about

(25:20):
brought up string theory and I still couldn't tell you
what string theory is or what it means, but I
remember when she said it, thinking, I feel like there's
something to that that felt more to me. I love
the application of adding science into what is considered a
more spiritual world because people like me brings me in.

(25:44):
Like I remember when I learned energy can't be created
or destroyed, and I was like, well, then everything that
will be is already here and it can't be taken
from us, So that proves that there's, you know, something
else after this um. So I love that that you're
gonna dive into science. Yeah, and most of the people
that I have on my podcast. I really do try

(26:05):
to make sure that they have some grounding in science,
So I mean not everybody. I do a lot of
fun things on angels and you know, astrology and things
along those lines, but I also make sure, like in
the Surviving Death documentary, Dr Bruce Grayson was on. He's
the head of perceptual Studies at University of Virginia. He's

(26:27):
going to be on my show, Evan Alexander, Raymond Moody,
some of these real researchers in the field who have
been doing this work for years. I mean Raymond Moody's
in his eighties, He's I think, been doing it forty
or fifty years. Because that's important to me. It really
is the piece that I think like there's a lot
of people right now who are, you know, saying their

(26:48):
mediums and this and that, and I think it's really
important that we know what the science is behind this,
and that there are people who are researching mediums and
researching accuracy of mediums and making sure I mean there
are institutes that are studying this. It undermines it a
little bit, I think, because there are people who are

(27:08):
not authentic in their work in that way and spirituality
right now feels very sexy, very own brand, and I'm
seeing a rise of people giving readings and it does
feel very much like oh where is your accreditation? How? How? Right? Yeah?
And you're right, it does ruin it for those people

(27:30):
who have actually been putting in the actual time to
build a practice. Yeah. And I think you know when
people ask me, I've been asked the question before, how
do you define spirituality? And I think spirituality is knowing yourself?
Like what is more spiritual than completely being intimate with
who you are? And to your point earlier, like therapy

(27:53):
is a great way to do that. And I think
that a good medium will connect you with your loved one.
But in a medium reading typically in my experience, and
I haven't had very many, only like one or two,
because I feel like I'm and tuned enough with myself
that I can tap into that when I need to.

(28:13):
But shouldn't tell you anything that's so mind blowing that
you don't already know. You should be like, oh, yeah, yeah,
that's that's validating for me, or you know, oh yeah,
that's totally the direction I'm heading. If it's that mind blowing,
it probably means you haven't been working on yourself enough
to be self aware that this is happening for you. So,

(28:35):
what do you think is the best way for people
to kind of develop that connection to spirit or the
ability even to connect or you know, like we've heard
of tarot cards and Luigi boards and seeing the same
number on the clock all the time, which I definitely
have that psychic power. Who doesn't, but that I mean,

(28:56):
I think meditation is really the best way to open
yourself up. Meditation being in nature, just turning off the
left brain side of us and tapping into that more
creative open energy that we have when we're right brain
and when we can turn off of that and and

(29:17):
get into a semi conscious state, that's when we're able
to access that. I think the thing that's difficult is
that a lot of times people expect that it's going
to be like suddenly they're going to hear this loud
voice and it's like your grandfather is here, and it's
it's it's so much more underwhelming than that. It is

(29:42):
such subtle energy shifts that you really have to move
the other mock out of the way so you can
be aware of when these things are happening. When you're
Claire's you know, the Claire cognizance clairvoyance, Claire audience clear
sentience are are being tapped because it's that's subtle where

(30:02):
you're like, oh, that's coming from outside of me, not
inside of me. Are there ways, like I noticed when
I maybe this is an overshare, like when I dream,
I feel like that's where I'm most connected. But I
also noticed that when I like smoke before bed, like
if I smoke weed, like the dreams are a lot

(30:23):
more fuzzy or like like, are there ways to really
tap in and be like here's how I know I'll
be able to communicate? Well, you can always set an
intention even before you go to bed, you know, but
be very clear what you're inviting in. You don't want
to just be inviting in like anything like just whoever's
there come to me. You want to be really clear

(30:45):
that you know, I would like to connect with so
and so please make sure that whatever connection I have
is always for my highest and best self and so
then you're really setting boundaries and parameters around it versus
just like anybody who's out there, you know. Like that
was literally the next question though, of like how do

(31:05):
you know that a spirit has your best interest at heart.
What if you get a visit from a strange stranger
ghost like stranger danger, I don't like, we're very afraid
of old plantation. Well in my experience, Um, you know,
our loved ones on the other side are really here

(31:27):
to help us. They're not here to scare us and
bring us harm. But I'd like to think of it too,
like you wouldn't invite, you know, a stranger off the
street into your house because you don't know what kind
of energy they're bringing. And so to actually your point
about energy never being created or destroyed, there's bad energy
out there, right, Just like you can have an interaction

(31:49):
with someone and be like, oh, like, I don't like
that energy there bring into this conversation. It's the same
with energy on the other side. It cannot be great.
And you can be really clear that will not welcome that.
You can do meditations around uh, setting yourself in white light,
you know, being very purposeful about protections and things like

(32:12):
that that you want. Just like if you were going
out into the world into like a dangerous place, you're
gonna want to protect yourself. And I don't think that
the spirit world is a dangerous place, but you do
have to be careful just you know, opening yourself up
willy nilita, anything that's out there so real. I read
an article of a person who said they were a

(32:35):
witch in the UK and was on Instagram and Twitter
doing all kinds of practices and she channeled I don't
even want to say the name, a really powerful like
Haitian spirit and it killed like she's dead now, And
I feel like that's the problem when it becomes trendy
to like, wait, like did she die owen camera doing

(32:56):
the like no, she's she was she died after accessing
this spirit and was like tweeting about it and then
it was reported that she was dead. So I just
feel like that is like what scares me about the
like trend of witching and all that, Like just knowing
spirits are real and like I mean a Ghana, that

(33:17):
ship is in your face, especially in developing countries, Like
it's not something you really play with, um if you're
not somebody who's like that's been passed down generations for you, right,
And I actually just interviewed someone who it's in Africa.
I think they call sanmas like medicine he yea spiritual

(33:38):
healers are senmas and then they're like very purposeful about
I mean, this is not something you just like, oh
today I'm gonna like channel the witches or whatever. There,
it's you're you're right. It has passed down from generation
to generation. It is a way of healing. It is
very much part of the culture. And I feel like,
you know, like a lot of what we do here

(34:00):
in the West, we just take things and we just
like blow them up and make them whatever we want
them to be without necessarily respecting a lot of the
cultures that have brought these that that are you know,
indigenous to their way of being. So we talked a
little bit about the soul, but it's it's so vague.

(34:21):
What is the soul and is it tied to our consciousness?
Do you think so? I sort of think of kind
of a collective So we are one collective energy. How
I think of it is when we come into a body,
we sort of split off from that one collective energy.

(34:42):
And then I have a question that's keep going follow
And I think that it's sort of like the body
is the computer and the soul is the software, and
that the soul comes in um. I think when we
think about all being one, like we are all when

(35:05):
we come into this body. Now we're living a physical life,
and that's I think where people say you're a spiritual
being having a human experience, right, And so that's how
I think of the soul. I also think that the
soul is something that lives over the course of lifetimes,
and that we are continually working to grow and evolve

(35:26):
our soul to learn lessons of love and kindness and
unconditional love, and that we're brought here on earth to
inhabit a physical body to learn these lessons because it's
easier to learn the lessons here than it is over there.
You can learn them there. You can choose to help.
But I believe that my aunt, when she crossed over,

(35:48):
made a choice that she was going to continue to
help me, so I wouldn't make the mistakes that she
did while she was here. What are the lessons are
the mistakes that she was like trying to teach you?
I think a big one was to not rely on
a man to take care of you, that that you
can be strong and you right, I know that you

(36:10):
can support yourself. That that's really important. I think self
care was a big one for her. Clearly she was ill,
but she didn't take good care of herself. I believe
not fearing death was a big one. You know. Anxiety,
as I said, was something that I was definitely plagued
with early on. And let me tell you when she

(36:31):
came through to me, my anxiety. And I'm not saying
that this is the ends all be all for everyone,
and like you need to have a visit from your
loved one and then your anxiety will go away. That's
absolutely I still I still have periods where I feel right, Um,
I still have periods where I feel anxious. I'm human,

(36:52):
but it doesn't control me in the same way that
it did before I had this epiphany about death. You
sort of explained with consciousness that the soul is it's
a group, collective. So my question was, really, can a
soul split? Like if ancestors greet you when you die,

(37:13):
would they be absent from the spirit world? Like could
they also be reincarnated? At the same time, I noticed
kind of you know, some people say yes, I honestly
don't know for sure the answer to that. I mean,
I don't know for sure the answer to any of that.
I just right exactly exactly, but I think that, yes,

(37:34):
some people have said that they have been in contact
with souls that are here and also reincarnated simultaneous. Wow, okay,
that's interesting. I know, I know, right, you're like, what
does that even look like? I'm trying to do the

(37:54):
right because it's like it's like splitting Mommia in two,
so they know there's two Mommias, one in the spirit
world and then in the real world reincarnated again. I
don't know, I'm just but I mean, if you if
you think of it as like flubber and it just
goes all back into the jelly bowl and it's like

(38:15):
only this much of it, but all of the residue
is still wrapped in the spirit world. But then this
much of the soul goes into a new body and
it's reincarnated, having a whole life. But that's essence. It's
still within that scoop that it was pulled away from.
And now we know, think you scare of that Flabber
was an allegory for yes, we got it, got credit

(38:38):
for it. The concept of phantom limbs, Like I remember
learning that in religion class in high school and it
blew my mind, just the same with time travel and
all these ideas of basically phantom limb is like your
hand gets cut off, but some people from war veterans
and whatever, they still feel the thing that's gone on,

(39:00):
like their brain is still programmed to feel their hand
and the fingers. And that has always been on that
line of like we literally don't know, like our brain
programs us to believe what we see, but it's so
much more powerful than that. And I think that that's
kind of the same concept with the brain and the mind.
You know that the mind doesn't necessarily need to be

(39:23):
housed in the brain, that consciousness can exist outside of that.
And that's what a lot of the near death experiencers
show us is that they die their brain dead, but
yet they still have these experiences that they come back
and report to us that are profound and and how

(39:46):
do those things work simultaneously? What's the explanation for that?
So for those of us who are still living, what's
the best way to handle the death of a loved one?
In your opinion? I always say there's two things. I
think you have to grieve, and it's really helpful to
believe so grieving you cannot escape grief you can try,

(40:11):
you can, you know, doesn't how to go for you.
It doesn't work in your face when you least expect
exactly exactly. You know, it's like any symptom. Really, it's
like a whack a mole. Like you try to whack
it down, It's gonna pop back up. It might be
in a different place, but that's what happens when we
don't deal with our feelings. They don't disappear, they just

(40:34):
pop back up as something else. And so the grief
process is not linear. It's ongoing grief. I don't think
you're ever done grieving. And I think if you can
approach grief in that way that like this is now,
it's a scar that you will forever have and there
will always be reminders of loved ones who have lost,

(40:54):
and there will always be those experiences of pain, but
you don't have to suffer through to it. And I
think when you can either see a therapist and process
your grief, go to a grief support group. I mean,
you have to process the grief, you have to work
through it. You have to tell the story, you have
to say the names, you have to tell the story
again and again and again and again there's other forms

(41:15):
of therapy too if it's traumatic. Like E M d R,
I movement to sensitization and reprocessing can be really helpful
for traumatic losses. What is that? It's a process where
I'm not trained in it, but you do like this
tapping on your legs and it's supposed to help move
the story along so it's not kind of stuck in

(41:37):
your mind and they use eye movement to help do that. Wow,
that's about as in depth as I can go. I
just know it's really really helpful for trauma. And I've
sent people who I see for a couple of sessions
of E M d R and it's life changing for people.
And then the believing pieces, I think it's just really
helpful to explore your thoughts on death. Like when I

(42:01):
see people who grieve, I often ask them what is
your belief system around death? And a lot of times
they've never even thought about it before, And then they'll
start to open up and be like, well, my religion
told me this, but I'm not really sure I believe that,
but I never really thought about it before. But I
did have this weird experience where and then they go

(42:21):
on to say, how you know, they saw their loved
one right after they died, or you know, when they
never sort of put the two together, that maybe there
could be more out there. And I think some people
will say that that's just a belief system to make
people feel better about death. Um, I think if it
makes you feel better and you've done your research and

(42:43):
you've been open to possibilities and it's helpful to you,
I mean, there are The Forever Family Foundation is a
foundation that works with people who have lost loved ones,
predominantly children, who want to explore grief and believing in
a really safe space, because I think a lot of
people go to grief groups and they feel like they

(43:05):
can't talk about their experience of losing their loved one
and they're loved when visiting them because they don't want
people to think that they're delusional or they've lost their minds,
you know, or they're just in such a horrible state
of grief that they're you know, hallucinating. But these are
very real experiences that many many people have had, and
we shouldn't deny people those experiences, especially since we have

(43:30):
a lot of research supporting that these are valid experiences
and they're really helpful to people who are grieving. Like
literally got a text right now that like a friend
from college died. Are you kidding me? What? No, It's
just this whole thing is like like obviously deathsment on

(43:52):
my mind. Oh do you all know? Like, oh fuck man,
it's just so heavy, you know, And it's like so sad.
And I do think that like they're on the other
side somewhere and you can connect with them, and I
just feel like it's so sad. And I know I'm

(44:12):
triggered because I'm just an emotionalist person, but well, it
is sad. And I think that even if you believe
it does not take the grief and sadness away. It doesn't,
like whatever I believe, if something happens to the people
who are closest to me that I love more than

(44:34):
anything in this world, it will devastate me, even though
I really could sit here and have a whole conversation
about I know that they're on the other side and
I know that they're okay, but they're not with me,
and I want them with me. I just want to
pick up the phone and be like, hey, Dad, you
want to go get like food or like And I

(44:56):
just can't like instead of him being here, instead of
a loved one's been here, like there are flowers or
his jacket or like the ship that like, it's just things, right,
and it does not take away knowing that that he's

(45:16):
on the other side, doesn't take away from the fact
that he's not here. I think that's the hardest part
of all of this is like that's the reality. Like
we want what we want that will make us feel comfortable.
And I'm so sorry as that you're going through this,
but it's like what Dr Amy is saying, you know,
that's just like damn, Like what we have is the

(45:39):
memories and you know those things, but really just some
memories of these people, and you can't bypass those feelings, right,
you can't get around that. And that's why I think
that death can be such a powerful tool to help
us live our lives. We because that's right, we do

(46:01):
have the memories, right, that's what we hold. And what
are those memories made of? I mean, I think of
this if I just snap at my kids sometimes I'm like, oh,
can I swear you can edit out? Okay? Okay, I'm like,
oh fuck, Like I don't want that to be my
last interaction with them, like what if I step off

(46:22):
the curb and get hit by a buss. I don't
want them to be like mommy was yelling at me
when she took me to school this morning, like that's terrible.
But and then that's a lot of pressure, you know,
to like live up to that well, But I think
it can be such small things. And again I am
far from perfect. I yell at my kids, fight with me,

(46:42):
you know, my husband's um. But but I do try
to be intentional when I can about really being like Okay,
you know what, I'm gonna apologize for that, or you
know I'm gonna try harder next time to not lose
my patients, or why did I lose my patients? What
was going on with me in that moment? What do
I need to do to make sure that I don't

(47:04):
get to that point? And it might not be easy.
I mean, I was in therapy for seventeen years. I
still work with someone, so like this is ongoing. It's
not like I got there and now I'm like evolved
and I'm done. No, I'm always looking and thinking and
reflecting on how I can be a better person so
that when it is my time. I'm happy with the

(47:25):
life that I lived, and I treated the people who
I love and who are important to me, and even
the people who I don't know. You know, the people
I talked about this a lot, like the people at
the grocery store and the ups guy who delivers my
stuff every day, who every time I opened the door,
he's there, like making sure that I say hi and

(47:46):
how are you, because those tiny little interactions can make
such a difference in someone's life. Mm hmm. My grandmother
always says that she's like a smile doesn't cost anything,
and it could really change someone's whole day, And just
thinking about that, it's like, oh, it doesn't I should
try to spread a little joy when I can when it. Yes,

(48:08):
someone said to me that death is applied for the
living because we have to continue living even though that person,
I do believe is in a better not even not
a better, a different place. I like to think it's
better when I think about my grand mom, like she
probably looked good. Well. I remember the first time my

(48:31):
aunt came to me was actually before that first experience
that I shared with you ladies at the beginning, was
she came to me probably three or four years before that,
right after she died. I had again thought it was
a dream at the time, but she was so beautiful,
like her skin was glowing. She was wearing this red sweater.

(48:53):
And that's also how you know some things to visit
versus a dream. I could tell you as clear as
day right now, what those experiences were like. I couldn't
tell you a dream I had yesterday right because they're
like it's like an amalgam of God only knows what,
like mishmash of like daily residue anxiety, and it just
comes together. But visits are so clear, and she was beautiful.

(49:18):
She just was glowing, and she said, I'm healed. My
body is healed. It just looks for us because we
missed them. It does suck. I mean, do you think
there's anything to fear? I mean, outside of what it
does to us as humans, but the person who actually dies,
like the passing on of it, I I don't. I mean,
I'm not scared of dying. I'm more scared of not living.

(49:41):
There you go, I don't want to miss my kids
growing up, you know, I know, all those things that
we want to be a part of at some point.
I'm not going to be here anymore. I hope it's
not anytime soon. But that's I think what I fear
personally more, And I think what a lot of people
would I think if they thought about it, really fear

(50:02):
more is the fear of missing out or certainly and
losing a loved one, right. The fear of the pain
of missing them like that is real. That is excruciating.
You have to walk through that. But the actual death part, dying,
not so much. The way of surviving death on Netflix

(50:25):
made it seem it seemed like death felt good. Yeah,
and nobody wanted to come back to their human body
after they were there. Um, so you know, it did
make me feel a little less. But what's very interesting
is that people who have attempted suicide and had a

(50:46):
near death experience come back and their their desire to
kill themselves is gone. All right, we're a little heavy
right now, So I just want to end us on
a really fun question, or at least I think it's fun,
maybe dark. I hope it's not too heavy for everybody.
I don't want that to be heavy. I want it
to be you're making it lighter. I wanted to be

(51:07):
kind of fun, like I really do. And I know
that's pretty more. It could be morbid, but I think
it can be amazing to think about and to contemplate
and to play with these ideas. So yeah, sorry, go ahead,
ash No, No, you're right. It's definitely a tool to
live a better life. Okay, fun question, dr Amy. If
you were a ghost, what would be your favorite pastime? Oh?

(51:31):
Do you get ready to because y'all know you gotta
have an answer. I don't know that I would want
to waste my time in this physical world good for
the human realm, Like I think, I'm like, I don't know,
hanging out in this beautiful place that I've created in
my mind. If I was what would I do? Let me?

(51:53):
I would definitely like watch my kids for sure and
see assuming that I hopefully we'll go before them. Um. Oh,
and I'd make sure if this were to happen soon,
I'd make sure that my husband was like hooked up
with someone amazing. I always tell my life I tell

(52:13):
him that all the time. I'm like, if something happens
to me, I am sending you someone good. It's a setup. Um.
I would I like the idea of not spending too
much time in this human realm, but I also feel
a little petty and maybe I want to haunt a
few people, like on my off days Tuesday and Thursday.

(52:39):
I like that. I like that idea too, though I
feel like other things exists, like maybe like aliens or
something or angels, and you know, I would want to
be like I don't know, like diffing into other dimensions
and like checking out species looks like and like seeing

(53:01):
if I can like walk around with someone else's shoes
and literally or something else's shoes. I feel that I
feel like I would want to go, like I would
absolutely like jet over to space real quick, Like i'd
go visit some planets, maybe see what Saturn's tom about.
I don't know, like I would come with you. I

(53:23):
would totally come with you for that. I'm fascinated by Saturay.
Saturn is a rough one, I mean, but as a ghost,
I'd be fine. I could like hop, skip and jump
over all the little particles of the rings. I don't know.
I'm more so just met in astrology. It's the planet
of discipline or more unfortunately yea sule Mars. I feel

(53:56):
like I would definitely in the human world, I would
be trying to figure out like all the secrets of
the n s A and like again alien stuff and
like you know, just like the truth behind a lot
of things that we don't. Oh, I thought you were
going to say, you're gonna like Whoopie Goberg like um
ghost and like drop right into someone yep and take

(54:23):
over their body. If I had to get into Mitch
McConnell to find out the truth, I would do. How
would you everybody that you found out? Have you seen
the movie Ghost Dad? Yes? I wrote a whole show
about a ghost dead and did not know there was
a movie about Ghost Dad. So well you could do

(54:45):
the reboot because Bill Cosby is canceled and he was
the lead. But yeah, that's what I would do. Secret
Momma something that gave me more peace in dying because
I was one of those people that's like, I want
to live forever, and it's mostly because I'm nosy. I
want to know happens. And on surviving death, the girl
was like, when I died, I saw all of what

(55:06):
happens in humanity, and I was like, bet, I'm good
to go. I just want to know what happens in humanity.
Give me all the secrets, so I'm there with you.
I wouldn't want I don't want to live forever. No,
I used to too, but now I'm like, I mean
I could live three but I think then there's so

(55:31):
many questions to ask, like what are the parameters around
living forever? Do I need to pick the age I
get to live at forever? Like everybody around me still alive?
Or does everybody die? Like there has to be like
serious rules about what that would look like, because I
don't want to be like three hundred years old and
this like body that's not working and everybody's going by me.

(55:58):
You know, I went I would say Charlie's Thron's body
from like old Guard, Oh Guard, Yes, I would say
his wife woke his body. She's making her own parameters here, right,
But I'm gonna not only am I going to live forever,
but it's going to be in someone else's body. Yes, Hey,

(56:21):
we get to do what we want. This has been
such a fun conversation. I'm so glad to finally have
a conversation about death. I know, I love you, ladies.
This was so fun. I feel like I should have
had like a margarita. Next time, we'll make this a
happy hour. I definitely was scared and like, you really

(56:44):
have just taken my understanding and like comfort with discussing
this to another level. So thank you, good dr Amy.
Can we be friends like? I have more questions, but
I don't want to take up the whole podcast. Oh
my god, seriously, you and my email d on me
and we'll chat whenever. I thank you so much. Absolutely

(57:06):
anytime that was so great, Guys, was amazing. I'm like
in my spiritual I know right right, I'm not afraid
of death, but don't be coming from me. Death, don't
be coming from right bad. I'm not having a great time. Yeah,

(57:29):
just all the way away. What we're going to take
a quick break while death excws off, worry, We'll be
right back. Welcome bad. Y'all got questions and we maybe

(57:52):
have answers, Jasmine, what does our listener need help with
this week? Who? This week? We have quite the letter?
It reads dear o d Let's get right into it, ladies.
My man has a man dingo. I love him with
all my heart, but I haven't been able to love

(58:12):
him with all of my dot dot dot Girl. You
know I just won't fit. I don't want to him
because I can't satisfy him sexually. He's a good man
who makes me laugh, has ambition, and go to church.

(58:32):
He's never pressured me to go further than I want,
but I know he's going to want to be taken
care of eventually, and I understand, my girl, just don't
stretch that far. Oh what should I do? Signed? I
don't want to be split in? Oh? Wow? Wow? Wow?

(58:54):
What kind of lumberjack dick is? You know what? I've
seen one of these on the Into Way recently with
this silhouette challenge. For whatever reason, somebody pulled their dick out.
Did you see that one? For whatever reason, it was
for you? And then it was just like yeah, and
I was like whoa. I screamed, like suddenly it's a

(59:18):
red shadow. But I saw the shadow of a big dick,
and I said, I feel bad for whoever is handling
that dann girl, don't feel bad. Sorry, Sorry, let's support her.
I'm sorry, says I'm here to support. Maybe maybe try
some lubrication. I don't know if you've been there yet. Yeah, yeah,

(59:42):
if you're not trying to loose, that's definitely a bottles worth. Okay,
this must not be new to him. I think he
has had this experience in the past, because if he's
working with that type of man dango, you know, he
ain't always hitting Bengo, So you know, I feel like

(01:00:08):
he should be ready to take it a little slower.
And on top of that, he needs to be going
down on you to to to you're ready, ready to
The lubrication is almost natural and flowing, and you can
ease into it because you already you know, I feel ready.
And then I think I read this somewhere, um, but

(01:00:33):
naturally our vagina stretches when we are close to coming,
So I mean he has to make that happen first,
and then you'll be a little more open and he
can't put all of it in all the ways. Yeah,
and you know something that you know talking about he's
been through this before. See what he's done with other

(01:00:56):
partners maybe and how they've overcome this obstacle. I would
definitely say Ron, I'm just like, yeah, I just feel like,
you know, I'm a small girl, so I can't be

(01:01:19):
running around just cracking it open for any whole thing.
I mean that's just in general, but it is a
little scary if if somebody's size is intimidating, so I
get that, and if if you are like inhibited by that,
maybe it's not the person for you. Because sex is
such a huge part of a functioning relationship. And imagine

(01:01:41):
having dread because you're like, I'm gonna need a recovery
like that would not be cool. But there are other
ways to have sex aside from vaginal so if you
can get creative. It sounds like getting split in half
by his thing though, but also too how porn stars train,

(01:02:01):
at least for um just register for the porn Star Olympics.
Big No. One of my friends who I'm not gonna name,
does porn and told me that before anal sex, they
plug and they stretch it so that it sits there
and it loosens it. This is so too much for this.

(01:02:24):
But plugs are I think, pretty common knowledge, but I've
never heard of a vagina plug. I think you would
just use a deal dough and slowly get used to different.
If this is the love of your life, you do
this type of stuff. If it's not, then we got
to move on and get a dicker. What I'm saying,
live with vocations and adjustments. If porn stars do it,

(01:02:47):
and it works and they put on a show and
they make it through. You know, that's the standard. Yeah.
I think what MOMMYA was saying about, like wanting to
enjoy your sex life and enjoy your partner and if
you feel like you won't be able to enjoy, but
worth a shot for all the extra plugging and totally
giving him a chance. He he go to church, she said, yeah,

(01:03:12):
and he hasn't pressure you. That's a lot about him.
He probably knows that he can't pressure nobody just lined
up in on that thing. Oh man, man, god speed,
and also says you don't need to do no keegoes
ever again if you stay with that man. But you
better stay with him forever, right, because does it go back? No, No,

(01:03:34):
just let it get babies come out, you know, listen,
babies come out of there. You can it stretches. Maybe
I was gonna say, my mother definitely ripped her shi.
Oh yes they do. Oh they don't tell you about
Oh yeah, don't. But it's gonna be fun for you

(01:03:57):
didn't have because you're gonna get loup and if that
doesn't work, you're gonna move on. Yeah, i'd say, just
ease yellow to the next man, don't you take that
chicken if it's such a low man. We hope that help.

(01:04:25):
I don't want to be split in half, because neither
do we. And yes, you shouldn't do it if you
don't want to. And you know, think about the angles,
like maybe there are some angles you can hit. You
know they aren't they both circle because when you're like
when you're putting, like when you're on top, you can

(01:04:45):
like like really choose how much you want inside you
have a little his length or girl back with a
photo just so we can end this further. A big

(01:05:07):
long day, a big log bag, like you know, like
a funnel cake, how it comes out spiral really long. Okay,
I'm all right everyone. Thank you so much for tuning
in with us again this week. Remember to subscribe, and
if you want to show us some up, you can

(01:05:28):
always rate and review this podcast and you can come
kiki with us on social media. You know where we're
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and at Obama's other Daughters on Facebook. And of course
if you need advice, uh, we got your right, We're

(01:05:49):
gonna try. Podcast at gmail dot com is where you
can send those advice letters and we'll see your next time.
Bye Bye, jus You Down is a production of Shawndland
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(01:06:12):
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