December 22, 2020 • 45 mins
From strict parents threatening lakes of fire, to bible thumping in high school, to considering becoming a nun, this week, the ladies of OOD chat about their relationship with religion as children, and how they identify with spirituality and the concept of God as adults.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to You Down, a production of Shonda Land Audio
and partnership with I Heart Radio God an Old Testament
character wise asshole friend, Hey, go ahead and kill kill
your son. Don't do it. Don't do Hi everyone, and
(00:22):
welcome back to you Down, a podcast where for funny
how He's come together to talk about what's happening in
the culture. I'm Yasma Money Watkins, I'm Ashley Holstein, I'm
shakirajen Apa, and I'm Mommy a bar But collectively we
are known as Obama's thicky thicking other think you pick,
(00:48):
I'll take it. Okay, Today we're asking are you down
with religion? According to Adherents and Independent Non religiouly affiliated
News Organization, there are forty three hundred active religions in
the world hot times for billions of people. Having a
(01:09):
religious belief system provides a purpose in life. For some,
religion serves as a guide for moral behavior, and unfortunately,
for some it was just an excuse to vote for
Donald Trump, who claims to be a Christian. But that's
a whole of the British to post. Okay today, hat
world is a one in which our understanding of the
(01:30):
world religions is both understatedly important as well as increasingly complex,
and for some of us, we've set aside religions for spirituality.
But before we dive in, let's check in what's everybody
loving and hating this week? This week, I'm hating the
ambiguity of dating versus just becoming friends with someone. You
(01:54):
can never really tell when you're hanging out with someone,
especially as a queer woman, You're like, is this date?
Is this just chilling? And maybe I just need to
like get the balls or not the balls, but the yeah,
the hot spud to be like, hey, do you want
(02:15):
to go on a date? You know what's funny? Yes?
Is I was going through text threats. You know, you
just get bored, you go through all stuff. I was
going through text and it was you talking about being
afraid of asking this girl on a date, and I
was like, just asking. It was actually a week that
we both got rejected hard. I was like, just adding
on a date that hard, And two texts later we
(02:37):
both were like want I screamed together. I appreciate you
actually more than I could say. And in all, honestly,
it happens in straight relationships too, you know, I've really
been in a thing that I thought was a budding
romance and then yeah, I was just a homie. I
feel like mine is kind of similar ice slid in
(02:59):
someone's da texting and I mean it doesn't mean anything,
but I just literally don't know if people are flirting
or not. Like I feel like my radar for that
doesn't exist, or I like turned it off as a
defense mechanism or something. But yeah, but I just like,
I'm like, wait, are you He is texting me because
(03:21):
he wants to talk to me, right, He doesn't just
want advice on something. That's a whole another bridge to
have to cross the idea of like now being you know,
budding success. Some people want to talk to you just
so they can get it. I want to get in
your head. I want to take a few minutes for relationships,
and and David was like, yesmen, you don't need any
(03:46):
new friends, and I was, yeah, I mean, y'all can
go get its COVID test together. Is that what friendship
is these days? Right now? Well, since we all are
hating things this week, I guess I'm hating awkward situations
with family. One of my cousins got married recently, and
(04:07):
like he didn't do the zoom thing or send a
message like hey, I can only invite a certain amount
of people. He just invited the cousins that he wanted to,
like the auntie he wanted to and then but they
posted sself on Instagram and it's just so awkward because
like my cousin Tiffany, who was invited, put his picture
in the group chat and was like our cousin married,
(04:28):
and I was like, yeah, I grew up with this
naked and I was on internet. It's definitely a slight,
but I also aim to be that person who's like
I'm only having people at I whining who I want
to pay a hundred and twenty perplate for or whatever
it is. Yeah, wait, did you say, Ashley? What you're know?
And I feel bad because I was gonna love something
(04:50):
this week. We need a little love, Okay, Okay. I
am loving being an adult and getting know my parents
as adults. Yeah, it is so funny to be like, oh, yeah,
you're my mom, but also you're a whole last person
that had experiences before ye and believe in stories and
(05:11):
I never even asked you about So it's just been
nice and to talk about things that like we're so
tabooed to talk about when we were kids, like religion.
Actually having full ass, thoughtful conversations with my parents about
things I believe in, not not being afraid of being
on punishment. What did you d say you actually? I said,
(05:34):
I pay my own bills and these are my beliefs.
Who And speaking of religion, how much does faith shape morality?
How does religion play a role in our lives? Before
we dive in, let's take a quick break. Welcome back everyone,
(06:00):
Let's get into our main topic this week. What was
your relationship with religion growing up? Ashley? What about you?
M I was in a church every Sunday early. My
dad was a deacon. We were in choir. We were
like in the church. I went to a religious camp,
(06:21):
the only camp I ever went to. It was only
like two days, but it was so we were very much,
very much in the church, and we will get punished
if we did not go to church. Like it was
not a you're a fifteenail, you get to choose, you
cannot come, but you're gonna get in trouble. So wow,
I didn't know your dad was a deacon. I didn't either,
(06:41):
I feel like that's almost pek kid, you know. And
we were best friends with the preacher's kids. Campbell shout
out to Erica and Lauren. I know Erica does not married.
We were very invited shade. Hope you have fun, and
I hope it gets cold under that shade. Hope the
(07:02):
wind is blowing. I ever heard them before. That's funny,
the wind is blowing in that shade. Yeah, I guess
I never really thought about deacon being all that much.
My mom was to you know, like, oh, we were
just in it. My mom's husband was a deacon and
(07:23):
my mom did Sunday school. It just feels like everybody
trying to take a role at church if you can.
If you can't get a roll, then you just make
sure you steal the pew. Help you what do about
your Momia, I definitely grew up in the church. I
grew up Catholic. UM went to Catholic school K through twelve,
(07:44):
so I like wore a uniform to school everything by
like I always wonder what Catholic school would be like.
I loved that. I feel like that's like, um, like
kind of hot and like cluelessly like yeah, like honestly
I'm just kidding. It was definitely sheltered. My parents are
(08:06):
Ghanaian and religion is a huge part of culture. Also,
is Catholicism big there. It's one of the biggest ones. Pentecostal,
I think is the most popular. Like people are more
like charismatic than the kind of church I grew up in,
which was very very white, very slow, and very conservative.
(08:31):
Catholicism is very interesting. They are parts of it that
I like. It's almost like yoga in a way, like
the prayer and like genuflecting and standing up and praying
and stuff. So those aspects of it I actually weirdly
do really the standing sitting down you like, is that
what you're just saying? Yeah, it's like transitioning through the
service in different ways. You're kneeling at some points, you're
(08:54):
sitting at some points, and you're standing. Wedding and we
were doing that and I was like, yo, I hired
the same We went to a Catholic or rather, David's
cousins got married in Haiti and it was like the
sit stand, sit stand, but like in a whole other
language that was also Catholic. But like, I like, I
(09:14):
can't keep up. I didn't appreciate the they have like
these things you pull out that are cushions so that
you can feel because you know, I got bad knees,
and I was like, well, a very least it provided
me a space. Yeah, I don't agree with so much
of the agenda of the Catholic Church. I'm like, for real,
that's what you're concerned about. Like, I've sat in church
(09:37):
so many times and this sounds nuts, but like there
are people in my church whoife for sure, no are
like afraid of my family. My parents have gone there
for twenty five years, and it's still this discomfort in
the room, Like for sure, they have their seat that
they sit in. And I went one time with them,
maybe two summers ago. I was like in a daze
thinking about something else. All of a sudden I hear
(10:00):
and some people would even argue that African Americans were
better off during slavery because they had a place to
live and they had What did you do? I wanted
to get up and walk out, but again we stick
out like a sore thub in that room. So I
just like couldn't move, and so I turned to my
mom and I had tears running down my face. And
(10:20):
I was like, I am never coming to this church again,
and she was like what. And then we get in
the car and my mom's like, what were you saying?
And I repeated it and she was like, oh he
My dad was like, no, he did say that, and
she was like, well, you went to school there. You
should write a letter. And I've written like three different
letters that are in my docs, but I haven't said
(10:41):
because I'm like, I don't think you care what I
have to say. And the main problem for me with
that was these white people don't know anything about black people,
and you are somebody they trust, and you're standing up
on that pulpit telling them something that they're perceiving as truth,
and they're not going to talk to me, mine and
so way exactly, and like they're gonna leave here and
(11:03):
repeat that misinformation to someone else. This is how these
things happen and why we're so divided. I don't know.
I I definitely need to reckon with that place at
some point in my career, but I just could not
believe at the Epiphany Catholic Church and Coon Rapids, Shame
on you. For me. My parents were divorced, so I
(11:26):
sort of grew up in two churches. On the one hand,
there was my mom. We went to Gotte, we went
to Unity Church. The Unity Church in San Diego was
more white, but like still relatively hippie. Um a gop a.
Actually you've been to Kira have you been? I've been
for you. It was very you know, very hippy, more spiritual.
(11:49):
Though they had more bulletins that are more like announcements
than I've ever been. There are a lot of bulletins.
And actually I was so excited I saw rick Buyers
sing I was telling you all at the Black Wominter
Divine event, and I was like a fan girl, and
I was like, Ricky Buyers, Oh my God. But then
on the other side, growing up with my dad for
(12:12):
the formative years of my life, we grew up in
a very very strict Apostolic church. So speaking in tongues,
getting baptized, is that real? Yes, I'll say, can you
give us a little bit? Yet? I truly cannot um.
But like ris, I remember like tearing for the Holy
(12:32):
Ghost and like sitting in the pews, and you know,
whenever they'd be like, oh, well, come to Jesus, come
to Jesus, I'd be sitting there like God is watching me.
Like I really thought for a long time, if you
didn't go through the doors of this church in Carson,
that people were just like not saved. And I was
like trying to convince my mom. I was like, Mom, please,
(12:56):
you gotta get saved. She was just like, are they
getting brainwashed over there? I was gonna say, people who
are a little more gullible are I think more vulnerable
to getting to inundated in it, like and then taking
over your life kind of. I mean it should your
spirituality should be a huge part of Yeah, exactly, it
(13:19):
has to be balanced. Faith can be great, but then
it can also be toxic and you end up with
people who are sheep following a bad leader. And also
to the thing that gets me is just like we're
all humans having a human experience. So when we do
take on faith and tell other people about themselves through
that faith, it's like, no, you still Joe, You still Joe.
(13:41):
You and Jesus like chill out, you know. Uh So, Yeah,
I grew up I think at what eight or seven,
my mom joined the church and then we were, you know,
in it. My mom taught Sunday school at certain point,
and I hung out with all the kids that I
into church with and the pastor's kids. And then when
(14:02):
my mom remarried, her husband became a deacon at the church.
I mean that church has now falling apart. But I
think I even told you guys at one point when
I lost b card and forgot in our face and
was like, if you're been smoking way and having sex,
get on the altar, get on the altar, get on
the altar. And then we were a god and we
(14:22):
walked to the altar like that was the church. People
were falling out, people were speaking in tongues. My mom
was speaking in tongues. What was the denomination nondenominational um,
but we were under a Baptist wing. So St. Stephen's
was the church that our pastor had went to on
and off as a kid, and we were like his baby.
(14:43):
But we were the nondenominational fountain, the Black Fellowship, And yeah,
not going wasn't an option. We went every Sunday. And
if you fall asleep, you get knocked wake up. That's
a universal experience. I feel like going to sleep in church.
The worst was seeing my dad fall asleep in church
and then be like, yes, don't fall asleep in church,
(15:04):
And I'm like, what do what I say not as
I do? Yeah, But I mean, on the one end,
it was like we were kids, so we used to
cut up outside of church, but then we also were
like super in the church and felt like we had
to be saved and if you aren't saved, I used
(15:24):
to talk to people at school with a Bible sometimes
like yeah, I was like, you need to get saved.
Like there was a point where I was like, here,
but this is like because I started at such a
young age. So they were the times where like the
world would pull me and then God would pull me.
When I was worldly, I was like I need to
(15:46):
get closer to God. I gotta fix myself. And then
when I was godly, it was like, let me talk
to these sinners because they're going to I definitely wanted
to be a nun at one point because I thought
I think. I was just like, oh, finding a man
would be really hard, so I might as well. Just
(16:08):
that was like my logic and WHOOPI Goldberg made it
look so fun and so why not? Also, what age
were you thinking about finding a man? You were like,
I ain't never goin. I'll give my life to God.
I mean, honestly, I was wondering the same thing for you.
(16:29):
Care when were you going to people with the body?
What was that? I want to say it was close
to like ninth and tenth grade. But do you remember
my friend Danay and I like both having a very
come to God moment and wanting to fix some of
the kids in our school and wanted them to get saved.
We were like, that's our job as a Christian, is
(16:52):
our job to talk to other people about Christ. It's
our job to make sure our friends zoned burning hell
Like a fucking asshole, I was an asshole going on people,
just like trying to control them. But in my mind
I have been trained to do that. But then once
I lost my rigidity, like by eleventh grade, I was
back in the world and school. I feel like that's
(17:15):
one of the things that turned me off from religion
or at least the church when I was younger. Is
that aspect of control, like and having to present a
certain way. Like I remember being like, I don't want
to wear my hair like this, or wear bows or
put on this dress. Why can't I just wear what
I'm comfortable in and still be a respectful, loving person.
(17:37):
Was always like, this is how you do it, and
this is how you live. It always bothered me that
one we were telling other people how to live and
that something was wrong with me, that inherently I'm I'm
bad and that I need to be fixed. And I
was like, I don't, I don't know. And it's it's
crazy to hear you guys talk about how deep you
were in it, because I feel I was just as deep.
(17:59):
But I don't think I could have ever gone to
someone and be like, I need you to believe in
Jesus Christ. Like do you guys feel like you still practice?
How do you practice? How does religion ly a part
in your life? I actually feel closer to God now
than I did when I was at that Apostolic church
(18:20):
because I got to college and I had to contend
with if I'm in love with this woman my best
friend at the time, does that mean I'm going to
burn in a lake a fire forever? And like that
question sort of began unraveling all this stuff that I
was taught trying to find, like, well, I can't imagine
that God would be against love and its purest form,
(18:42):
and it just like led me to the space of
like looking for more but specifically turning within. So I
feel like now even though I'm not that specific religion
or Apostolic necessarily, I still feel spiritually connected. I love
(19:03):
that because I feel like it's you understanding what God is.
Going to church used to be a function that you
just did on Sunday. Maybe they would talk to the
kids or something and address, you know, something that would
stick with me. But like it wasn't more than that.
But I think in growing up after college and like
in my twenties when I was alone in the world,
(19:24):
that was what helped me get through all the hardest
times in my life. Is my relationship with God and
Spirit and just knowing that I'm prayed for and I
have love around me, even if it isn't in the
same room, it's still in my heart. And also the
same way as like unraveling those parts, like yes, I
(19:44):
was raised Catholic, but I don't agree with definitely the
social aspects of Catholicism at all. So like how to
reckon with feeling bad about like my parents being like,
are you going to church? And I'm like, I don't
want to go to that church. Calf and Baptists and
all of the denominations. It's just a different set of
rules on what should be just worship the way you
(20:06):
worship get close to God in the way that you
get close to God. Even with having the faith and
still believing in the Bible, you don't need the rules
that a lot of the churches put on you. Some
of the rules are great, like it's nice to have tradition,
but some of the rules are people that one I love,
that's one of my favorite. Yeah, the rules are way
(20:30):
more manmade than the faith ist, especially when you come
to the way women aren't treated the subject. There's only
like I think, what no more than twenty women in
the Bible with a name, and there are like men
with character names. It would be character. You're breaking it
down like a script, you know. That's that's so real.
(20:53):
Because my favorite class in college was this course called
Bible as Literature, and so we read the Bible stories
from Bible. We read the whole thing. We have a
whole but we read the Bible as a story written
by a person. And taking away that theology of it
made me have so many more questions. And I feel
(21:13):
like when you start asking questions, um, in organized religions,
people get really upset. They want to tell you that
you've got to go on faith and faith alone. But
in this class we were allowed to dissect like why
why would God do this? Or you know, is this
story supposed to be allegorical? Are we supposed to be
taking this as truth? How do we know? So when
(21:35):
people are like, well, this exact thing from the Bible,
and I'm like, you know that this book is more
about the lessons of the stories than anything, like every
religious text, well, and I think particularly thinking about the
text of it. I remember just thinking about, Okay, if
God is something that will never fully understand until we
(21:58):
go to heaven or connect or whatever, then the people
who translated God's word are also valuable because they're men
or you know, human, but specifically men too. Thinking about
what gets lost in translation, not just from God to man,
but also what gets lost in translation from like language
(22:19):
down into English, even because the Bible is translated into
so many different exactly and specifically from Hebrew to English,
and it's all interpreting. In some words don't even translate,
they just pick things that are closed. I agree with that.
I think language is so important, especially even around saying God,
(22:41):
because what I've found is that for me, God is
more energy, spirit, nature, the connectiveness of us all. And
I think when I say God, sometimes it's off putting
to people because they believe they're talking about the man
in the sky, and I know that it can just
be so I don't know, off putting to people hear
God and so divisive just to hear that name. It's
(23:04):
hard to hear that name when you've been I guess,
hurt by church or by God. But what reconciled it
for me was going out in nature and really getting
down to, like my intuition, the power within myself. We're
all made in God's image, and so I believe that
I am all powerful, and not in like a conceited way,
(23:24):
but like I'm made of the same thing that the
Grand Canyon is made of and makes the sunrise that
past stars. And so I think my adult religion has
been more spirituality and trying to get connected with myself
and with everybody else, and trying to just I feel
that when I go to the beach, I'm like, oh,
(23:46):
God is here, and God is God. She can be
whoever they want. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
I feel like I've definitely had moments in l A
where it's like people talking about religion and like, oh,
and I'm like whoa, Like everybody has a God, even
(24:08):
if you were God is weed or sex or you know,
like there are people have things that they worship that
is what you're focused on, like you know, manifesting, and
everyone is different. So I just I get a little
testy when people like speak down on Christians, because yes,
there are a lot of crazy Christians. I'm not making
excuses for them, but there's so many religions that's just
(24:31):
disrespectful to think that someone's faith means something about you.
I guess yeah. I mean also, in the class of
the Bible is Literature class, they talked about the stages
of developing religion and like you start with what your
parents give you, right if you take that as fact,
and then you move forward and sometimes you're like, mmm,
I don't necessarily believe with what my parents believe. And
(24:52):
then the third step is figuring out what you do
believe for yourself. And a lot of people never get
off that second step, and so what they want to
do is just be like this is bad. You're doing
is has some bad things, but they haven't really discovered
for themselves what even it is that they believe. But
also too, it's a hard conversation to have because for
me now and as a more spiritual person, even when
(25:12):
I came to l A, like I would go to
reality l A because they make you feel pretty bad
about being a sinner, like the church that I grew
up in. I think for me, like even coming to
that realization that the way I have a relationship with
God is unhealthy and it's like abusive almost girl read
the Old Testament God and Old Testament character wised asshole.
(25:36):
Yeah he was jealous, he was an ex girl friend,
he was a go ahead and kill and kill your son,
don't do funny. Joe was your faithful servant, and you
just tested the hell out of here for no reason.
I especially, I feel like folks with the Old Testament
(25:56):
we're like, oh, yeah, this is how like you have
to live your life now out And it's like you're
telling me I can't be queer. But in that same
text and in Leviticus are like you can't eat pigs,
and you over there eating ribs after church, and I
see you selling the rib plate. Just do what I say,
not what I do, right. But this is also mommy
of what you were saying about being in the church
(26:18):
and hearing them say, well, maybe African Americans were happier
in slavery. And like the way that Christianity and a
lot of religions have been used over time to control people.
I think about religion the way that it was used
to have slaves be like well instead of rising up
and revolting, bringing Christianity as like a way to control us,
(26:41):
no way to say, hey, God's gonna have your back,
don't even worry about don't don't You'll get your justice
in the afterlife. M I want mine now. People and
nations would literally use religion as a way to pillage
and take and control the whole people. I mean you
even look at not to demonize any religion, but like
(27:03):
with Islam and a lot of the suicide bombing things,
where you get a young person and you mentally warp
them at a very young age to put a peck
on their body and commit suicide, to kill people based
off of their faith. And the thing is it could
be so good for you, and then you have people
who make it so bad for you, And like in
(27:24):
any religion, the main goal is peace and love. And
then as soon as certain people step in and start
training little boys and kids to be militant, hateful people
because that other people don't have the same beliefs as them,
I think you can get somebody to kill themselves and
kill other people. And it's like with all of the religions.
It would be one thing if it was just like
(27:44):
this one sect or whatever, but like, but I mean
anything where there's gonna be power and money, they're going
to be people who use it in a corrupt way.
Like not to say that that's absolved it and like
just deal with it. But it's not even just religion.
You know that we are indoctrinated so early. Even I
was thinking about the pledge of allegiance. Why are we
(28:06):
in kindergarten, say to pause, I don't I don't even
know what allegiance means. So it's like with so many things,
and it's so important, so so so important. One of
the things I believe in is curiosity and growth and
self development and just making sure you're asking questions and
(28:27):
understanding why it is that you're doing what it is.
Why did you believe what you believe, where did that
come from, how have you dived into it recently? And
just how you said, a lot of people get stuck
on step too. I feel like that's where you ask
those questions and get curious and come up with what
faith do you have based off of what you believe
as an adult and what feels right for you, not
(28:48):
just based off of what your folks believe. Something that
I enjoyed about growing up in the churches that I
did get structure, and as much as I did here
Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, I definitely still
got some good from it, I'd say discipline. Knowing that
it was just like good to be a good person
and figuring out what a good person meant was helpful
(29:11):
for me growing up, and I use that every day.
How does faith or belief systems self, y'all um? I
definitely think when I'm going through tough times, connecting to God, praying,
making my affirmations, taking time to connect with again that
like inner voice, and just having hope or faith for
(29:32):
brighter days to come. I think, especially when you're going
through some of your darkest times, but even when you're
celebrating it's been good to be like, I'm grateful. Yeah,
I think I didn't realize that I never hit moments
where it was just gratitude that I said in you know,
like sitting in gratitude and even like keeping a journal
(29:54):
or even like connecting with myself because I was just
so removed for myself or a whole, which it's just
such an interesting journey with faith. But any who, I
do feel like day to day just checking in and
realizing how important your connection with spirit is, from your
mental health to just growing as a person and evolving
(30:15):
into being a better person. And that's sort of how
I take my beliefs to my day to day. I'm like, wow,
I actually do have like rituals. I guess that I
didn't really even notice. Like I have the Bible app
on my phone, so it gives me a verse of
the day every day, so I always read that verse.
(30:38):
And I have a streak of like two years that
I haven't missed one. So I'm really proud of myself
in the dumbest way. But I pray before I go
to bed and when I wake up and thank God
for waking me up, um and giving me another day,
and what you were saying about gratitude. I think in
my mid twenties I really tried to just stay conscious
(30:59):
of being grateful. Only calling on God when something is
wrong is like not a nice relationship. No, just like
thank you God for this day and thank you for
my life, like literally thank you. Speaking of rituals, like
are there prayers that you guys know? Like for me?
I have the prayer of protection that I say every
(31:20):
time I travel and even times when I'm a little
bit scared. I've heard it several times, like when we
went to that towards our us, what are you doing it?
Toys are us? Yes? And I broke into an abandoned
toys r ust to and as we've broken, Yasmine said
(31:42):
her prayer protection, And honestly I was like, amen, because
we walked to walk into some stuff we should not
be doing. Wow, that's hilarious. I pray the serenity prayer
a lot. God grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage should change things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. That's something I
(32:02):
struggle with a lot, like what am I doing in
my life? And then also I'm into archangels. There's one
for protection or like miracles or like bringing you joy
and your different things. They're real. They've been moving mountains
for me. I'll say that one time, Mommy, and you
(32:23):
said you must have people praying for you, like a
lot of people praying for you. And I remember hearing that,
and I have been more grateful now since hearing you
say that, because I do have people praying for me
and looking out for me, not only alive, but you know,
I very much believe in the transference of energy and
that they have spirits looking out for me. We oh yeah.
(32:46):
One of the things that really frustrates me about the
way that we were severed from our communities or from
our traditions that as black folks that we at some
point in the past practice but we're literally forced to it.
Thinking about voodoo, even like my grandmother's from Shreveport, Louisiana,
and we never talked about any of that, you know
(33:08):
what I mean. And there are things that were lost,
the things that were lost in the fire, right like
that I just wish that I could connect to or
have a connection to, and that I'm starting to like
delve into and discover as an adult, Like, what does
it mean to connect with your ancestors right and to
have people that are looking out for you on the
other side. There's so much that I don't know but
(33:31):
that I feel. I don't know if that makes sense.
I mean, but that's what faith is, yeah, or at
least um faith in in being interchangeable with religion and
talking about being connected and going back to what Yeas
was saying, all those things that we've been severed from.
I think we're still able to connect with if we
can sit with ourselves and and really get to like
(33:54):
a place where we're our most intuitive. Yeah, I did that.
Those are not lost. I don't know if you guys
do a little chanting, but it's an active form of
meditation and connectivity that I highly recommend trying. I can't
really describe it. It's like saying a prayer, but like
saying a prayer repeatedly over and over, so you eventually
(34:15):
just like sort of shut a skin. It reminds me
of affirmations. You say it out loud, you speak it
into existence, and I see it happen so much. My
mom when we were kids, used to always be like,
you know, make your affirmation cards. And like write it
down and then like put it somewhere where you can
see it every morning. And I literally, I mean you, guys,
I've told you this before, but like, even for this podcast,
(34:39):
it's so crazy. Years ago, I put our picture next
to a picture of Shonda Rhymes and I put the
word mentor next to it, and the fact that we're
doing this podcast on Shonda Land's slate, to have walked
by it, to have said the affirmation of like I
want to work with this woman in some way, I
believe in that wholeheartedly. Um. So there's this. I'll give
(35:01):
you this story. One day, I'm sitting at a coffee
shop with a friend writing and this is like six
years ago, and this woman comes up to me and
it's like, I'm sorry, are you an actor or something?
And I was like, I'm, you know, trying to be
I guess um. She was like, oh, um, do you
have a moment for me to talk to you about Buddhism?
(35:22):
And my friend that I was with was like, actually,
I've studied Buddhism. So they started talking and she's like, yeah,
right down the date, if you say these affirmations, which
is I will be whatever you will be I will
help others, and I will. It's literally written on my
bathroom mirror. I was gonna say, I know at one
(35:44):
point I e howed how to find my principles and
morals just googled it. Well, I googled how to how
to go about that process right, and I found this
exercise and it really helped me break down to the
point where I have like slogans, lead with love, treat
others how you want to be treated? How can I help?
(36:05):
That's my service? And having those in front of me
is so much more helpful than to have them in
a notebook somewhere, because sometimes I'll be forgetting. I'm like, oh, hey, bitch,
you supposed to be he was not leading with love.
I missed the music part of being in a black church, though.
(36:25):
I remember Sister Kenyada singing for every mountain, and I
was like, oh God, you see me. Nobody sings like
those people that sang in your church, Like no one
can do the renditions like the ones you grew up with. Nothing.
I love gospel music so much. I have a playlist
(36:45):
of picked me ups and half of them are gospels.
And I often saying he's an one time God anytime
I get a check, change changes on time. That's more
of the prayer that I have. It's like he's an
on time I've got and for me, that really means
the universe has my back. Thank you, thank you so much. Truly,
(37:05):
I'm not a gospel of musical Oh you're more into
Christian rock, Kira. I do enjoy Christian rock. It's quite refreshing.
I grew up with my dad literally sings Gregorian chant
through our house, which is like Hollo like very slow
(37:30):
and like origin, no flavor at all. But I've fallen
in love with gospel on my own and I love
like God's property. Like Kirk Franklin. That music, the song
My Life Is in Your Hand. I listened to that
at least once a day because the words are just
like you don't have to worry, don't you be afraid?
(37:50):
Joey comes in the morning, Trouble doesn't last always. I'm
always like yeah, like singing. You've seen me driving down
the road, I'm probably we we're on our way to
a meeting. One time meet you and yes, I think,
And we put on a gospel music and it pumped
us the pump like in the church. I felt most
(38:13):
moved when the music was playing. Oh yeah, the music.
Music does something to you. It is very moving. It'll
have you want to alter, it'll have you own the
ground crying and like, yeah, I didn't know as well.
Without music that don't happen. Also, go to some Christian rock. Now,
I will say some of it is fine, but it's
just don't hit me like like gospel. But it's time
(38:37):
for us to give some advice. So you can't talk
about Christian rock. Go get your Creed c D out
of the attic and jam out. It's our favorite time
of the day. It's time for us to give some advice.
But first let's take a little break. Welcome back party people.
(39:08):
It's time for us to give a lucky listener some advice.
Ash what she got for us today? All right. Today's
letter reads, Dear O D this is such a silly
problem to have, but the love of my life is
obsessed with old school hip hop and he plays it
all the time, literally hardcore rap and no course for me.
(39:34):
Literally hardcore rap and no chorse for me to sing
along too. Not to mention he hates pop and new
aged rap. He knows I'm not a fan, but he
listens to it and insists that I just have to
accept his shitty music age, Sis, how do I make
the best out of this horrible sound situation? Signed not
(39:55):
old and nor should my music be lovel old music too?
Same early in our friendship, I mentioned my love of jazz,
and Shakira was like, what are you going on to jazz? Shaquira, No,
I don't like jazz already know or old school music? No?
What about blue? Like I feel like somebody Auntie's house?
(40:18):
Why do you like my I don't want to listen
I mean a song or too sure, but like a
full like I feel awad for her. I would be
annoyed if I was just my God, you need a
chorus to sing along to sometimes I can't. I don't
know the rap. I'm just have you talking at me
rapping and feelings to you're doing it to eighties rap,
(40:39):
but I call it rappy rap. It's like New York,
like just a base and like right, I don't really
like Yeah, yeah, you need a chorus. I get it, Si,
So you should get some headphones, it is my first thought. Um,
and listen to your own music. Also, he's got to
(41:01):
be flexible, like you driving you, but he probably driving
the boats, don't he always wanted he always to drive,
maybe doing that type of nonsense. But then you take
the offer and then you stuck with the music. So
get some headphones or drive my god and disrespectful y'all
sitting in the car and you put on headphones. I
(41:22):
mentioned the house mostly she needs like or he should
be listening to his jams on headphones. I feel like
it is very hard to listen to music you don't
want to listen to consistently. M So, yeah, I think
the compromise is headphones. Truthly, if you can't decide on
(41:42):
something that you both want to enjoy together, maybe find
a podcast or something, oh yeah, that you might both
cross over with, Like maybe y'all both like country music
sitting on to listen to music you don't want to hear,
(42:02):
but also to y'all might you might not like full
genres together, but you might have a few songs that
both of you guys like, Like everybody can listen to
a little Al Green. Sometimes I can throw on a
little you know, Aaliyah when I want to hear something
a little girl that's a mom to you with my mom,
like my mom will only play like Christian our gospel
music when I'm home and she's trying to get you
(42:25):
to come back, and I'm like, we gotta or a
pastor will be preaching. You gotta compromise, and make sure
that you are being willing to compromise because this let
her feels like I just got to accept his shitty
music days and expand your mind a little bit. You
might find some music that you didn't know about that
you could wind up loving. True dad, I doubt it.
(42:50):
It's hard to decipher through music you don't you don't
want to listen to to get to the ones that
you might like in that genre. Expand your mind, open
your heart, says the girl who only listened to you
only listen to Neil soul music. I know a new
ship to David has brought up. And then when I'm
(43:13):
by myself, I play whatever the funk I want. She's
feeling fisty today, Fuck on there, yes, so girl, you
gotta do the hip phones when you know he's controlling
the music. And then when you control the music, turn
that ship up, tune up, you know had turn up,
turn up when you control Open your heart, girl, because
(43:35):
you try a great music on the other side. But
we learned so much today, guys about religion and spirituality
and connecting with a higher power on a person ever
that maybe yes, I agree with all of that. Yes,
And we appreciate y'all tuning in, So please remember to
share review this podcast. It helps us out and we
(43:58):
want to know what you're thinking. Yes, and come kick
you with us on our social at Obama's Other Daughters
on Instagram at O D improv on Twitter and on
Facebook at Obama's Other Daughters. And remember that you are
prayed for. We're rooting for you, guys. We are rooting
for you all. But if you need some advice, go
(44:20):
ahead and write us a letter alright at O O
D Podcast at gmail dot com. And we're gonna blow
up this. Oh and that has been our episode on religion.
Remember your body is God stampoo. Okay, we'll see you
all next week. Bye, good by you. Down is a
(44:50):
production of Shawnda land Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from Shawnda land Audio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or We're for you listen
to your favorite show. Holle Lou christ Is breision from
(45:27):
the bounty of Lord
Welcome to You Down, a production of Shonda Land Audio
and partnership with I Heart Radio God an Old Testament
character wise asshole friend, Hey, go ahead and kill kill
your son. Don't do it. Don't do Hi everyone, and
(00:22):
welcome back to you Down, a podcast where for funny
how He's come together to talk about what's happening in
the culture. I'm Yasma Money Watkins, I'm Ashley Holstein, I'm
shakirajen Apa, and I'm Mommy a bar But collectively we
are known as Obama's thicky thicking other think you pick,
(00:48):
I'll take it. Okay, Today we're asking are you down
with religion? According to Adherents and Independent Non religiouly affiliated
News Organization, there are forty three hundred active religions in
the world hot times for billions of people. Having a
(01:09):
religious belief system provides a purpose in life. For some,
religion serves as a guide for moral behavior, and unfortunately,
for some it was just an excuse to vote for
Donald Trump, who claims to be a Christian. But that's
a whole of the British to post. Okay today, hat
world is a one in which our understanding of the
(01:30):
world religions is both understatedly important as well as increasingly complex,
and for some of us, we've set aside religions for spirituality.
But before we dive in, let's check in what's everybody
loving and hating this week? This week, I'm hating the
ambiguity of dating versus just becoming friends with someone. You
(01:54):
can never really tell when you're hanging out with someone,
especially as a queer woman, You're like, is this date?
Is this just chilling? And maybe I just need to
like get the balls or not the balls, but the yeah,
the hot spud to be like, hey, do you want
(02:15):
to go on a date? You know what's funny? Yes?
Is I was going through text threats. You know, you
just get bored, you go through all stuff. I was
going through text and it was you talking about being
afraid of asking this girl on a date, and I
was like, just asking. It was actually a week that
we both got rejected hard. I was like, just adding
on a date that hard, And two texts later we
(02:37):
both were like want I screamed together. I appreciate you
actually more than I could say. And in all, honestly,
it happens in straight relationships too, you know, I've really
been in a thing that I thought was a budding
romance and then yeah, I was just a homie. I
feel like mine is kind of similar ice slid in
(02:59):
someone's da texting and I mean it doesn't mean anything,
but I just literally don't know if people are flirting
or not. Like I feel like my radar for that
doesn't exist, or I like turned it off as a
defense mechanism or something. But yeah, but I just like,
I'm like, wait, are you He is texting me because
(03:21):
he wants to talk to me, right, He doesn't just
want advice on something. That's a whole another bridge to
have to cross the idea of like now being you know,
budding success. Some people want to talk to you just
so they can get it. I want to get in
your head. I want to take a few minutes for relationships,
and and David was like, yesmen, you don't need any
(03:46):
new friends, and I was, yeah, I mean, y'all can
go get its COVID test together. Is that what friendship
is these days? Right now? Well, since we all are
hating things this week, I guess I'm hating awkward situations
with family. One of my cousins got married recently, and
(04:07):
like he didn't do the zoom thing or send a
message like hey, I can only invite a certain amount
of people. He just invited the cousins that he wanted to,
like the auntie he wanted to and then but they
posted sself on Instagram and it's just so awkward because
like my cousin Tiffany, who was invited, put his picture
in the group chat and was like our cousin married,
(04:28):
and I was like, yeah, I grew up with this
naked and I was on internet. It's definitely a slight,
but I also aim to be that person who's like
I'm only having people at I whining who I want
to pay a hundred and twenty perplate for or whatever
it is. Yeah, wait, did you say, Ashley? What you're know?
And I feel bad because I was gonna love something
(04:50):
this week. We need a little love, Okay, Okay. I
am loving being an adult and getting know my parents
as adults. Yeah, it is so funny to be like, oh, yeah,
you're my mom, but also you're a whole last person
that had experiences before ye and believe in stories and
(05:11):
I never even asked you about So it's just been
nice and to talk about things that like we're so
tabooed to talk about when we were kids, like religion.
Actually having full ass, thoughtful conversations with my parents about
things I believe in, not not being afraid of being
on punishment. What did you d say you actually? I said,
(05:34):
I pay my own bills and these are my beliefs.
Who And speaking of religion, how much does faith shape morality?
How does religion play a role in our lives? Before
we dive in, let's take a quick break. Welcome back everyone,
(06:00):
Let's get into our main topic this week. What was
your relationship with religion growing up? Ashley? What about you?
M I was in a church every Sunday early. My
dad was a deacon. We were in choir. We were
like in the church. I went to a religious camp,
(06:21):
the only camp I ever went to. It was only
like two days, but it was so we were very much,
very much in the church, and we will get punished
if we did not go to church. Like it was
not a you're a fifteenail, you get to choose, you
cannot come, but you're gonna get in trouble. So wow,
I didn't know your dad was a deacon. I didn't either,
(06:41):
I feel like that's almost pek kid, you know. And
we were best friends with the preacher's kids. Campbell shout
out to Erica and Lauren. I know Erica does not married.
We were very invited shade. Hope you have fun, and
I hope it gets cold under that shade. Hope the
(07:02):
wind is blowing. I ever heard them before. That's funny,
the wind is blowing in that shade. Yeah, I guess
I never really thought about deacon being all that much.
My mom was to you know, like, oh, we were
just in it. My mom's husband was a deacon and
(07:23):
my mom did Sunday school. It just feels like everybody
trying to take a role at church if you can.
If you can't get a roll, then you just make
sure you steal the pew. Help you what do about
your Momia, I definitely grew up in the church. I
grew up Catholic. UM went to Catholic school K through twelve,
(07:44):
so I like wore a uniform to school everything by
like I always wonder what Catholic school would be like.
I loved that. I feel like that's like, um, like
kind of hot and like cluelessly like yeah, like honestly
I'm just kidding. It was definitely sheltered. My parents are
(08:06):
Ghanaian and religion is a huge part of culture. Also,
is Catholicism big there. It's one of the biggest ones. Pentecostal,
I think is the most popular. Like people are more
like charismatic than the kind of church I grew up in,
which was very very white, very slow, and very conservative.
(08:31):
Catholicism is very interesting. They are parts of it that
I like. It's almost like yoga in a way, like
the prayer and like genuflecting and standing up and praying
and stuff. So those aspects of it I actually weirdly
do really the standing sitting down you like, is that
what you're just saying? Yeah, it's like transitioning through the
service in different ways. You're kneeling at some points, you're
(08:54):
sitting at some points, and you're standing. Wedding and we
were doing that and I was like, yo, I hired
the same We went to a Catholic or rather, David's
cousins got married in Haiti and it was like the
sit stand, sit stand, but like in a whole other
language that was also Catholic. But like, I like, I
(09:14):
can't keep up. I didn't appreciate the they have like
these things you pull out that are cushions so that
you can feel because you know, I got bad knees,
and I was like, well, a very least it provided
me a space. Yeah, I don't agree with so much
of the agenda of the Catholic Church. I'm like, for real,
that's what you're concerned about. Like, I've sat in church
(09:37):
so many times and this sounds nuts, but like there
are people in my church whoife for sure, no are
like afraid of my family. My parents have gone there
for twenty five years, and it's still this discomfort in
the room, Like for sure, they have their seat that
they sit in. And I went one time with them,
maybe two summers ago. I was like in a daze
thinking about something else. All of a sudden I hear
(10:00):
and some people would even argue that African Americans were
better off during slavery because they had a place to
live and they had What did you do? I wanted
to get up and walk out, but again we stick
out like a sore thub in that room. So I
just like couldn't move, and so I turned to my
mom and I had tears running down my face. And
(10:20):
I was like, I am never coming to this church again,
and she was like what. And then we get in
the car and my mom's like, what were you saying?
And I repeated it and she was like, oh he
My dad was like, no, he did say that, and
she was like, well, you went to school there. You
should write a letter. And I've written like three different
letters that are in my docs, but I haven't said
(10:41):
because I'm like, I don't think you care what I
have to say. And the main problem for me with
that was these white people don't know anything about black people,
and you are somebody they trust, and you're standing up
on that pulpit telling them something that they're perceiving as truth,
and they're not going to talk to me, mine and
so way exactly, and like they're gonna leave here and
(11:03):
repeat that misinformation to someone else. This is how these
things happen and why we're so divided. I don't know.
I I definitely need to reckon with that place at
some point in my career, but I just could not
believe at the Epiphany Catholic Church and Coon Rapids, Shame
on you. For me. My parents were divorced, so I
(11:26):
sort of grew up in two churches. On the one hand,
there was my mom. We went to Gotte, we went
to Unity Church. The Unity Church in San Diego was
more white, but like still relatively hippie. Um a gop a.
Actually you've been to Kira have you been? I've been
for you. It was very you know, very hippy, more spiritual.
(11:49):
Though they had more bulletins that are more like announcements
than I've ever been. There are a lot of bulletins.
And actually I was so excited I saw rick Buyers
sing I was telling you all at the Black Wominter
Divine event, and I was like a fan girl, and
I was like, Ricky Buyers, Oh my God. But then
on the other side, growing up with my dad for
(12:12):
the formative years of my life, we grew up in
a very very strict Apostolic church. So speaking in tongues,
getting baptized, is that real? Yes, I'll say, can you
give us a little bit? Yet? I truly cannot um.
But like ris, I remember like tearing for the Holy
(12:32):
Ghost and like sitting in the pews, and you know,
whenever they'd be like, oh, well, come to Jesus, come
to Jesus, I'd be sitting there like God is watching me.
Like I really thought for a long time, if you
didn't go through the doors of this church in Carson,
that people were just like not saved. And I was
like trying to convince my mom. I was like, Mom, please,
(12:56):
you gotta get saved. She was just like, are they
getting brainwashed over there? I was gonna say, people who
are a little more gullible are I think more vulnerable
to getting to inundated in it, like and then taking
over your life kind of. I mean it should your
spirituality should be a huge part of Yeah, exactly, it
(13:19):
has to be balanced. Faith can be great, but then
it can also be toxic and you end up with
people who are sheep following a bad leader. And also
to the thing that gets me is just like we're
all humans having a human experience. So when we do
take on faith and tell other people about themselves through
that faith, it's like, no, you still Joe, You still Joe.
(13:41):
You and Jesus like chill out, you know. Uh So, Yeah,
I grew up I think at what eight or seven,
my mom joined the church and then we were, you know,
in it. My mom taught Sunday school at certain point,
and I hung out with all the kids that I
into church with and the pastor's kids. And then when
(14:02):
my mom remarried, her husband became a deacon at the church.
I mean that church has now falling apart. But I
think I even told you guys at one point when
I lost b card and forgot in our face and
was like, if you're been smoking way and having sex,
get on the altar, get on the altar, get on
the altar. And then we were a god and we
(14:22):
walked to the altar like that was the church. People
were falling out, people were speaking in tongues. My mom
was speaking in tongues. What was the denomination nondenominational um,
but we were under a Baptist wing. So St. Stephen's
was the church that our pastor had went to on
and off as a kid, and we were like his baby.
(14:43):
But we were the nondenominational fountain, the Black Fellowship, And yeah,
not going wasn't an option. We went every Sunday. And
if you fall asleep, you get knocked wake up. That's
a universal experience. I feel like going to sleep in church.
The worst was seeing my dad fall asleep in church
and then be like, yes, don't fall asleep in church,
(15:04):
And I'm like, what do what I say not as
I do? Yeah, But I mean, on the one end,
it was like we were kids, so we used to
cut up outside of church, but then we also were
like super in the church and felt like we had
to be saved and if you aren't saved, I used
(15:24):
to talk to people at school with a Bible sometimes
like yeah, I was like, you need to get saved.
Like there was a point where I was like, here,
but this is like because I started at such a
young age. So they were the times where like the
world would pull me and then God would pull me.
When I was worldly, I was like I need to
(15:46):
get closer to God. I gotta fix myself. And then
when I was godly, it was like, let me talk
to these sinners because they're going to I definitely wanted
to be a nun at one point because I thought
I think. I was just like, oh, finding a man
would be really hard, so I might as well. Just
(16:08):
that was like my logic and WHOOPI Goldberg made it
look so fun and so why not? Also, what age
were you thinking about finding a man? You were like,
I ain't never goin. I'll give my life to God.
I mean, honestly, I was wondering the same thing for you.
(16:29):
Care when were you going to people with the body?
What was that? I want to say it was close
to like ninth and tenth grade. But do you remember
my friend Danay and I like both having a very
come to God moment and wanting to fix some of
the kids in our school and wanted them to get saved.
We were like, that's our job as a Christian, is
(16:52):
our job to talk to other people about Christ. It's
our job to make sure our friends zoned burning hell
Like a fucking asshole, I was an asshole going on people,
just like trying to control them. But in my mind
I have been trained to do that. But then once
I lost my rigidity, like by eleventh grade, I was
back in the world and school. I feel like that's
(17:15):
one of the things that turned me off from religion
or at least the church when I was younger. Is
that aspect of control, like and having to present a
certain way. Like I remember being like, I don't want
to wear my hair like this, or wear bows or
put on this dress. Why can't I just wear what
I'm comfortable in and still be a respectful, loving person.
(17:37):
Was always like, this is how you do it, and
this is how you live. It always bothered me that
one we were telling other people how to live and
that something was wrong with me, that inherently I'm I'm
bad and that I need to be fixed. And I
was like, I don't, I don't know. And it's it's
crazy to hear you guys talk about how deep you
were in it, because I feel I was just as deep.
(17:59):
But I don't think I could have ever gone to
someone and be like, I need you to believe in
Jesus Christ. Like do you guys feel like you still practice?
How do you practice? How does religion ly a part
in your life? I actually feel closer to God now
than I did when I was at that Apostolic church
(18:20):
because I got to college and I had to contend
with if I'm in love with this woman my best
friend at the time, does that mean I'm going to
burn in a lake a fire forever? And like that
question sort of began unraveling all this stuff that I
was taught trying to find, like, well, I can't imagine
that God would be against love and its purest form,
(18:42):
and it just like led me to the space of
like looking for more but specifically turning within. So I
feel like now even though I'm not that specific religion
or Apostolic necessarily, I still feel spiritually connected. I love
(19:03):
that because I feel like it's you understanding what God is.
Going to church used to be a function that you
just did on Sunday. Maybe they would talk to the
kids or something and address, you know, something that would
stick with me. But like it wasn't more than that.
But I think in growing up after college and like
in my twenties when I was alone in the world,
(19:24):
that was what helped me get through all the hardest
times in my life. Is my relationship with God and
Spirit and just knowing that I'm prayed for and I
have love around me, even if it isn't in the
same room, it's still in my heart. And also the
same way as like unraveling those parts, like yes, I
(19:44):
was raised Catholic, but I don't agree with definitely the
social aspects of Catholicism at all. So like how to
reckon with feeling bad about like my parents being like,
are you going to church? And I'm like, I don't
want to go to that church. Calf and Baptists and
all of the denominations. It's just a different set of
rules on what should be just worship the way you
(20:06):
worship get close to God in the way that you
get close to God. Even with having the faith and
still believing in the Bible, you don't need the rules
that a lot of the churches put on you. Some
of the rules are great, like it's nice to have tradition,
but some of the rules are people that one I love,
that's one of my favorite. Yeah, the rules are way
(20:30):
more manmade than the faith ist, especially when you come
to the way women aren't treated the subject. There's only
like I think, what no more than twenty women in
the Bible with a name, and there are like men
with character names. It would be character. You're breaking it
down like a script, you know. That's that's so real.
(20:53):
Because my favorite class in college was this course called
Bible as Literature, and so we read the Bible stories
from Bible. We read the whole thing. We have a
whole but we read the Bible as a story written
by a person. And taking away that theology of it
made me have so many more questions. And I feel
(21:13):
like when you start asking questions, um, in organized religions,
people get really upset. They want to tell you that
you've got to go on faith and faith alone. But
in this class we were allowed to dissect like why
why would God do this? Or you know, is this
story supposed to be allegorical? Are we supposed to be
taking this as truth? How do we know? So when
(21:35):
people are like, well, this exact thing from the Bible,
and I'm like, you know that this book is more
about the lessons of the stories than anything, like every
religious text, well, and I think particularly thinking about the
text of it. I remember just thinking about, Okay, if
God is something that will never fully understand until we
(21:58):
go to heaven or connect or whatever, then the people
who translated God's word are also valuable because they're men
or you know, human, but specifically men too. Thinking about
what gets lost in translation, not just from God to man,
but also what gets lost in translation from like language
(22:19):
down into English, even because the Bible is translated into
so many different exactly and specifically from Hebrew to English,
and it's all interpreting. In some words don't even translate,
they just pick things that are closed. I agree with that.
I think language is so important, especially even around saying God,
(22:41):
because what I've found is that for me, God is
more energy, spirit, nature, the connectiveness of us all. And
I think when I say God, sometimes it's off putting
to people because they believe they're talking about the man
in the sky, and I know that it can just
be so I don't know, off putting to people hear
God and so divisive just to hear that name. It's
(23:04):
hard to hear that name when you've been I guess,
hurt by church or by God. But what reconciled it
for me was going out in nature and really getting
down to, like my intuition, the power within myself. We're
all made in God's image, and so I believe that
I am all powerful, and not in like a conceited way,
(23:24):
but like I'm made of the same thing that the
Grand Canyon is made of and makes the sunrise that
past stars. And so I think my adult religion has
been more spirituality and trying to get connected with myself
and with everybody else, and trying to just I feel
that when I go to the beach, I'm like, oh,
(23:46):
God is here, and God is God. She can be
whoever they want. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
I feel like I've definitely had moments in l A
where it's like people talking about religion and like, oh,
and I'm like whoa, Like everybody has a God, even
(24:08):
if you were God is weed or sex or you know,
like there are people have things that they worship that
is what you're focused on, like you know, manifesting, and
everyone is different. So I just I get a little
testy when people like speak down on Christians, because yes,
there are a lot of crazy Christians. I'm not making
excuses for them, but there's so many religions that's just
(24:31):
disrespectful to think that someone's faith means something about you.
I guess yeah. I mean also, in the class of
the Bible is Literature class, they talked about the stages
of developing religion and like you start with what your
parents give you, right if you take that as fact,
and then you move forward and sometimes you're like, mmm,
I don't necessarily believe with what my parents believe. And
(24:52):
then the third step is figuring out what you do
believe for yourself. And a lot of people never get
off that second step, and so what they want to
do is just be like this is bad. You're doing
is has some bad things, but they haven't really discovered
for themselves what even it is that they believe. But
also too, it's a hard conversation to have because for
me now and as a more spiritual person, even when
(25:12):
I came to l A, like I would go to
reality l A because they make you feel pretty bad
about being a sinner, like the church that I grew
up in. I think for me, like even coming to
that realization that the way I have a relationship with
God is unhealthy and it's like abusive almost girl read
the Old Testament God and Old Testament character wised asshole.
(25:36):
Yeah he was jealous, he was an ex girl friend,
he was a go ahead and kill and kill your son,
don't do funny. Joe was your faithful servant, and you
just tested the hell out of here for no reason.
I especially, I feel like folks with the Old Testament
(25:56):
we're like, oh, yeah, this is how like you have
to live your life now out And it's like you're
telling me I can't be queer. But in that same
text and in Leviticus are like you can't eat pigs,
and you over there eating ribs after church, and I
see you selling the rib plate. Just do what I say,
not what I do, right. But this is also mommy
of what you were saying about being in the church
(26:18):
and hearing them say, well, maybe African Americans were happier
in slavery. And like the way that Christianity and a
lot of religions have been used over time to control people.
I think about religion the way that it was used
to have slaves be like well instead of rising up
and revolting, bringing Christianity as like a way to control us,
(26:41):
no way to say, hey, God's gonna have your back,
don't even worry about don't don't You'll get your justice
in the afterlife. M I want mine now. People and
nations would literally use religion as a way to pillage
and take and control the whole people. I mean you
even look at not to demonize any religion, but like
(27:03):
with Islam and a lot of the suicide bombing things,
where you get a young person and you mentally warp
them at a very young age to put a peck
on their body and commit suicide, to kill people based
off of their faith. And the thing is it could
be so good for you, and then you have people
who make it so bad for you, And like in
(27:24):
any religion, the main goal is peace and love. And
then as soon as certain people step in and start
training little boys and kids to be militant, hateful people
because that other people don't have the same beliefs as them,
I think you can get somebody to kill themselves and
kill other people. And it's like with all of the religions.
It would be one thing if it was just like
(27:44):
this one sect or whatever, but like, but I mean
anything where there's gonna be power and money, they're going
to be people who use it in a corrupt way.
Like not to say that that's absolved it and like
just deal with it. But it's not even just religion.
You know that we are indoctrinated so early. Even I
was thinking about the pledge of allegiance. Why are we
(28:06):
in kindergarten, say to pause, I don't I don't even
know what allegiance means. So it's like with so many things,
and it's so important, so so so important. One of
the things I believe in is curiosity and growth and
self development and just making sure you're asking questions and
(28:27):
understanding why it is that you're doing what it is.
Why did you believe what you believe, where did that
come from, how have you dived into it recently? And
just how you said, a lot of people get stuck
on step too. I feel like that's where you ask
those questions and get curious and come up with what
faith do you have based off of what you believe
as an adult and what feels right for you, not
(28:48):
just based off of what your folks believe. Something that
I enjoyed about growing up in the churches that I
did get structure, and as much as I did here
Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, I definitely still
got some good from it, I'd say discipline. Knowing that
it was just like good to be a good person
and figuring out what a good person meant was helpful
(29:11):
for me growing up, and I use that every day.
How does faith or belief systems self, y'all um? I
definitely think when I'm going through tough times, connecting to God, praying,
making my affirmations, taking time to connect with again that
like inner voice, and just having hope or faith for
(29:32):
brighter days to come. I think, especially when you're going
through some of your darkest times, but even when you're
celebrating it's been good to be like, I'm grateful. Yeah,
I think I didn't realize that I never hit moments
where it was just gratitude that I said in you know,
like sitting in gratitude and even like keeping a journal
(29:54):
or even like connecting with myself because I was just
so removed for myself or a whole, which it's just
such an interesting journey with faith. But any who, I
do feel like day to day just checking in and
realizing how important your connection with spirit is, from your
mental health to just growing as a person and evolving
(30:15):
into being a better person. And that's sort of how
I take my beliefs to my day to day. I'm like, wow,
I actually do have like rituals. I guess that I
didn't really even notice. Like I have the Bible app
on my phone, so it gives me a verse of
the day every day, so I always read that verse.
(30:38):
And I have a streak of like two years that
I haven't missed one. So I'm really proud of myself
in the dumbest way. But I pray before I go
to bed and when I wake up and thank God
for waking me up, um and giving me another day,
and what you were saying about gratitude. I think in
my mid twenties I really tried to just stay conscious
(30:59):
of being grateful. Only calling on God when something is
wrong is like not a nice relationship. No, just like
thank you God for this day and thank you for
my life, like literally thank you. Speaking of rituals, like
are there prayers that you guys know? Like for me?
I have the prayer of protection that I say every
(31:20):
time I travel and even times when I'm a little
bit scared. I've heard it several times, like when we
went to that towards our us, what are you doing it?
Toys are us? Yes? And I broke into an abandoned
toys r ust to and as we've broken, Yasmine said
(31:42):
her prayer protection, And honestly I was like, amen, because
we walked to walk into some stuff we should not
be doing. Wow, that's hilarious. I pray the serenity prayer
a lot. God grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage should change things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. That's something I
(32:02):
struggle with a lot, like what am I doing in
my life? And then also I'm into archangels. There's one
for protection or like miracles or like bringing you joy
and your different things. They're real. They've been moving mountains
for me. I'll say that one time, Mommy, and you
(32:23):
said you must have people praying for you, like a
lot of people praying for you. And I remember hearing that,
and I have been more grateful now since hearing you
say that, because I do have people praying for me
and looking out for me, not only alive, but you know,
I very much believe in the transference of energy and
that they have spirits looking out for me. We oh yeah.
(32:46):
One of the things that really frustrates me about the
way that we were severed from our communities or from
our traditions that as black folks that we at some
point in the past practice but we're literally forced to it.
Thinking about voodoo, even like my grandmother's from Shreveport, Louisiana,
and we never talked about any of that, you know
(33:08):
what I mean. And there are things that were lost,
the things that were lost in the fire, right like
that I just wish that I could connect to or
have a connection to, and that I'm starting to like
delve into and discover as an adult, Like, what does
it mean to connect with your ancestors right and to
have people that are looking out for you on the
other side. There's so much that I don't know but
(33:31):
that I feel. I don't know if that makes sense.
I mean, but that's what faith is, yeah, or at
least um faith in in being interchangeable with religion and
talking about being connected and going back to what Yeas
was saying, all those things that we've been severed from.
I think we're still able to connect with if we
can sit with ourselves and and really get to like
(33:54):
a place where we're our most intuitive. Yeah, I did that.
Those are not lost. I don't know if you guys
do a little chanting, but it's an active form of
meditation and connectivity that I highly recommend trying. I can't
really describe it. It's like saying a prayer, but like
saying a prayer repeatedly over and over, so you eventually
(34:15):
just like sort of shut a skin. It reminds me
of affirmations. You say it out loud, you speak it
into existence, and I see it happen so much. My
mom when we were kids, used to always be like,
you know, make your affirmation cards. And like write it
down and then like put it somewhere where you can
see it every morning. And I literally, I mean you, guys,
I've told you this before, but like, even for this podcast,
(34:39):
it's so crazy. Years ago, I put our picture next
to a picture of Shonda Rhymes and I put the
word mentor next to it, and the fact that we're
doing this podcast on Shonda Land's slate, to have walked
by it, to have said the affirmation of like I
want to work with this woman in some way, I
believe in that wholeheartedly. Um. So there's this. I'll give
(35:01):
you this story. One day, I'm sitting at a coffee
shop with a friend writing and this is like six
years ago, and this woman comes up to me and
it's like, I'm sorry, are you an actor or something?
And I was like, I'm, you know, trying to be
I guess um. She was like, oh, um, do you
have a moment for me to talk to you about Buddhism?
(35:22):
And my friend that I was with was like, actually,
I've studied Buddhism. So they started talking and she's like, yeah,
right down the date, if you say these affirmations, which
is I will be whatever you will be I will
help others, and I will. It's literally written on my
bathroom mirror. I was gonna say, I know at one
(35:44):
point I e howed how to find my principles and
morals just googled it. Well, I googled how to how
to go about that process right, and I found this
exercise and it really helped me break down to the
point where I have like slogans, lead with love, treat
others how you want to be treated? How can I help?
(36:05):
That's my service? And having those in front of me
is so much more helpful than to have them in
a notebook somewhere, because sometimes I'll be forgetting. I'm like, oh, hey, bitch,
you supposed to be he was not leading with love.
I missed the music part of being in a black church, though.
(36:25):
I remember Sister Kenyada singing for every mountain, and I
was like, oh God, you see me. Nobody sings like
those people that sang in your church, Like no one
can do the renditions like the ones you grew up with. Nothing.
I love gospel music so much. I have a playlist
(36:45):
of picked me ups and half of them are gospels.
And I often saying he's an one time God anytime
I get a check, change changes on time. That's more
of the prayer that I have. It's like he's an
on time I've got and for me, that really means
the universe has my back. Thank you, thank you so much. Truly,
(37:05):
I'm not a gospel of musical Oh you're more into
Christian rock, Kira. I do enjoy Christian rock. It's quite refreshing.
I grew up with my dad literally sings Gregorian chant
through our house, which is like Hollo like very slow
(37:30):
and like origin, no flavor at all. But I've fallen
in love with gospel on my own and I love
like God's property. Like Kirk Franklin. That music, the song
My Life Is in Your Hand. I listened to that
at least once a day because the words are just
like you don't have to worry, don't you be afraid?
(37:50):
Joey comes in the morning, Trouble doesn't last always. I'm
always like yeah, like singing. You've seen me driving down
the road, I'm probably we we're on our way to
a meeting. One time meet you and yes, I think,
And we put on a gospel music and it pumped
us the pump like in the church. I felt most
(38:13):
moved when the music was playing. Oh yeah, the music.
Music does something to you. It is very moving. It'll
have you want to alter, it'll have you own the
ground crying and like, yeah, I didn't know as well.
Without music that don't happen. Also, go to some Christian rock. Now,
I will say some of it is fine, but it's
just don't hit me like like gospel. But it's time
(38:37):
for us to give some advice. So you can't talk
about Christian rock. Go get your Creed c D out
of the attic and jam out. It's our favorite time
of the day. It's time for us to give some advice.
But first let's take a little break. Welcome back party people.
(39:08):
It's time for us to give a lucky listener some advice.
Ash what she got for us today? All right. Today's
letter reads, Dear O D this is such a silly
problem to have, but the love of my life is
obsessed with old school hip hop and he plays it
all the time, literally hardcore rap and no course for me.
(39:34):
Literally hardcore rap and no chorse for me to sing
along too. Not to mention he hates pop and new
aged rap. He knows I'm not a fan, but he
listens to it and insists that I just have to
accept his shitty music age, Sis, how do I make
the best out of this horrible sound situation? Signed not
(39:55):
old and nor should my music be lovel old music too?
Same early in our friendship, I mentioned my love of jazz,
and Shakira was like, what are you going on to jazz? Shaquira, No,
I don't like jazz already know or old school music? No?
What about blue? Like I feel like somebody Auntie's house?
(40:18):
Why do you like my I don't want to listen
I mean a song or too sure, but like a
full like I feel awad for her. I would be
annoyed if I was just my God, you need a
chorus to sing along to sometimes I can't. I don't
know the rap. I'm just have you talking at me
rapping and feelings to you're doing it to eighties rap,
(40:39):
but I call it rappy rap. It's like New York,
like just a base and like right, I don't really
like Yeah, yeah, you need a chorus. I get it, Si,
So you should get some headphones, it is my first thought. Um,
and listen to your own music. Also, he's got to
(41:01):
be flexible, like you driving you, but he probably driving
the boats, don't he always wanted he always to drive,
maybe doing that type of nonsense. But then you take
the offer and then you stuck with the music. So
get some headphones or drive my god and disrespectful y'all
sitting in the car and you put on headphones. I
(41:22):
mentioned the house mostly she needs like or he should
be listening to his jams on headphones. I feel like
it is very hard to listen to music you don't
want to listen to consistently. M So, yeah, I think
the compromise is headphones. Truthly, if you can't decide on
(41:42):
something that you both want to enjoy together, maybe find
a podcast or something, oh yeah, that you might both
cross over with, Like maybe y'all both like country music
sitting on to listen to music you don't want to hear,
(42:02):
but also to y'all might you might not like full
genres together, but you might have a few songs that
both of you guys like, Like everybody can listen to
a little Al Green. Sometimes I can throw on a
little you know, Aaliyah when I want to hear something
a little girl that's a mom to you with my mom,
like my mom will only play like Christian our gospel
music when I'm home and she's trying to get you
(42:25):
to come back, and I'm like, we gotta or a
pastor will be preaching. You gotta compromise, and make sure
that you are being willing to compromise because this let
her feels like I just got to accept his shitty
music days and expand your mind a little bit. You
might find some music that you didn't know about that
you could wind up loving. True dad, I doubt it.
(42:50):
It's hard to decipher through music you don't you don't
want to listen to to get to the ones that
you might like in that genre. Expand your mind, open
your heart, says the girl who only listened to you
only listen to Neil soul music. I know a new
ship to David has brought up. And then when I'm
(43:13):
by myself, I play whatever the funk I want. She's
feeling fisty today, Fuck on there, yes, so girl, you
gotta do the hip phones when you know he's controlling
the music. And then when you control the music, turn
that ship up, tune up, you know had turn up,
turn up when you control Open your heart, girl, because
(43:35):
you try a great music on the other side. But
we learned so much today, guys about religion and spirituality
and connecting with a higher power on a person ever
that maybe yes, I agree with all of that. Yes,
And we appreciate y'all tuning in, So please remember to
share review this podcast. It helps us out and we
(43:58):
want to know what you're thinking. Yes, and come kick
you with us on our social at Obama's Other Daughters
on Instagram at O D improv on Twitter and on
Facebook at Obama's Other Daughters. And remember that you are
prayed for. We're rooting for you, guys. We are rooting
for you all. But if you need some advice, go
(44:20):
ahead and write us a letter alright at O O
D Podcast at gmail dot com. And we're gonna blow
up this. Oh and that has been our episode on religion.
Remember your body is God stampoo. Okay, we'll see you
all next week. Bye, good by you. Down is a
(44:50):
production of Shawnda land Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from Shawnda land Audio, visit the I
Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or We're for you listen
to your favorite show. Holle Lou christ Is breision from
(45:27):
the bounty of Lord
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