March 16, 2021 • 59 mins
Are you down to chase your dreams? This week, OOD discuss manifestation, moving to LA, setbacks along the way and more. Plus, a listener writes in about a stubborn ghost.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to You Down, a production of Shonda Land Audio
and partnership with I Heartredia. Those same thoughts that you
think about all the time, Like you gotta be intentional
about what those thoughts are. So you always find yourself
going somewhere to a place maybe that's negative that you
don't like. You gotta recreate that thought and put it
into where do you want to see yourself? What is
(00:21):
the life that you wanna have lived there in your mind?
So like when I go somewhere negative, I started singing
a song bit you won't a beat, you got my
neat Like I really just like trying to make my
mind and take this good stuff. Hello everyone, and welcome
(00:42):
back to you Down, a podcast where four funny honeys
come together to talk about what's going on in the culture.
I'm Shakiragene Pay, I'm Mommy A A four Oh, I'm
Yasman Money Watkins, and I'm Ashley Wolsten. But collectively we
are known as Obama's other Doddess. You don't know, you know,
(01:08):
you know, you know, you know, and the Alchemists, Paulo
Coelo says, and when you want something, all the universe
conspires and helping you to achieve it, And today we're
asking are you down to chase your dreams? We all
have those dreams, those visions, the passion that interpoll that
(01:31):
guides us if we listen, especially in a town like
l A. Almost every person you meet has some sort
of aspiration for the entertainment industry. But it extends beyond that.
We all have that urge, but how many people actually
make it and what does it take to get there?
No matter where we are in the world, your dreams matter.
How do you take care of yourself in the processes
(01:52):
at Pretuit? So today we're discussing chasing dreams? But first,
what's your loving? What you eating this week? This week,
I am loving numerology. I found it probably two years ago,
and I dabbled in and out of it. You know,
I used the tools that served me in the time.
But I have just been feeling just a little like
(02:15):
what am I supposed to be doing right now? And
I looked up my personal year and like, okay, what
year am I in? And h I found out what
year I was in it. It really helped me feel like, Okay,
this makes sense now, this is this is a year
of being emotional of digging into connections of a lot
(02:39):
of introspection, and so it just made sense why I'm
being moody and why you know where I'm at? Um,
And so I just love astrology for that reason, to
just tools that can help you feel like ship makes sense, right.
I love that when you say where you're at, can
you go a little deep or until? How numerology does that?
(03:02):
I mean it gets so deep. So there are different
numbers that you have. Your name is a number, your
birthday plush, the you know the year you were born
as a number. Um. But there numbers that make a
difference day to day, like your life path Mamya and
Yasmin are three life paths? Should carry your five on
(03:23):
a four? Yeah, I did, everybody. I was trying to
groogy looking up. It helps you. It'll help you learn
some stuff or you leave the stuff you don't need.
It's amazing. Oh man, you know what UM loving right now?
But also it's so it's so random. I had a
(03:43):
crazy uber ride and so I get into the uber.
First off, the heat is on, but the windows are
cracked because I think that's like COVID protocol. But it
smells like a hot box like this man weed or
like we like straight homone probably got in this car
with a bunch of wek um no, because as he
(04:04):
drove off, was he high? He said, I like to
drive and get high. It's very relaxing while being employed
by Uber. Yeah, I didn't even know how to handle.
I was like, what he just told me? He's high?
And then I asked him, isn't it illegal? And he
was like, um no, I don't smoke while I'm driving.
(04:25):
I pull over. Of course he should be pulling over
and getting out and letting his high come down for
few hours. No, you needed to deal with these people
so that these dances face. Then he said, oh, it's
a little traffic on the one on one. Hope, I'm
not gonna make you late for a little date or nothing.
(04:50):
He wanted to see you wanted some readfer as well?
I know, well, he offered, he offered. Next he said,
I got some thanks to Tiva, so you know, And
I'm like, I don't know, sir, I don't need to
do that where everybody. That's what I wonder when that
kind of stuff happens, you just be asking everybody if
they want to smoke with you. It's nasty, actually, like
(05:15):
you're not about to put your mouth on somebody's I mean,
somebody is out there putting a mouth on people's blunts.
But I'm not um. But I just was like hick.
And then he was playing trapped music underneath. And when
I say trapped music, like the ones they only use
bitches and holes like that. But I was highly entertained.
(05:35):
I was like, this is a whole as sketch. How
many stars you give them? I didn't even rate him
because I was like, I can tear him down or
I can build him up, and I don't really know
if I should do either because he was high. That's
off of a mediocre uber driver, Like, you didn't do great,
you didn't do that? Just not gonna respond. I usually
(05:55):
leave a five star, but I was like, this man
just told me he's high. Didn't get you You're safe
though he got me here safely. He was unprofessional, but
he got you there. He did get me to and
he had a BMW, which was also crazy apple. I
walked up to the car and I was like, oh,
I got a black car and I ordered a regular
one and I got in a nothing. I know, why
(06:19):
what about actually I really resonate with what you were
saying about, like just connecting spiritually. I feel like at
this period in my life, I've been receiving signs and
just needing to trust my intuition more and like listening
to guides that are sort of around me. But one
thing that I sort of hate about this process, aside
(06:42):
from that it requires a lot of labor, and like
it's a little scary too, because you're like, am I
communicating with the other side? But for my ultraspace. Last night,
I was trying to light a candle and present an offering,
and I realized I didn't have anything that my dad
liked or anything like that, aside from popcorn. Uh. So
(07:03):
I have a bag of movie theater popcorn sitting out
and I'm I kind of I'm like, what are you
supposed to do with the food once you've offered it?
You know what I mean? Like, how long are you
supposed to leave it out? I don't know. I'm trying
to figure it out, but I'm looking at this bag
of popcorn right now and I hate that it's just out,
Like what do you do? Do you guys know? Do
you guys have altar? Spaces. No, I don't have one,
(07:26):
but my sister does, and that she recently made an
offering for my grandmother and she burned the candle and
left a bowl of leaf it was apples and something else,
and when the candle finished burning, she took it away. Kay.
I can get down with that. But I mean, what
I like about all of those practices is that there's
(07:49):
so much knowledge out there and you can find the
answers of like what the ancient rituals were. Um, if
you are so inclined when you describe the candle process,
that kind of reminds me of like Catholic prayer and
intention in it, and like that's a huge Like there's
a perpetual candle burning at most churches and like my
(08:13):
mom volunteers to like watch the one at our church
for an hour a week, but like basically to keep
that prayer and intentions that have been put into that
light going. So I feel like, like we always say,
it's all under the same umbrella. Yeah, And I do
feel that Cira sent me some meditation links earlier this
(08:33):
week that we're just like so spot on. So I've
been exploring more and more what you were saying about
it being connected because on the one hand, I'm listening
to the meditation and like doing you know, or like
cleansing of some sort, and then uh, I was playing
gospel music. It was that connection to like God or
spirit and like all of it was like combined, you know,
(08:55):
it wasn't It didn't feel like it was separate from
And I don't think it should. I think people like
try to polarize religion versus spirit. No, it all. Really,
I feel like what works for you is what you
should practice. And if you want to light and sent
and listen to Kirk Franklin stomp and also put an
app sacrifice of apples, so be sacrifice of apples are
(09:19):
an offering. I mean, but yeah, that's don't want to
sacrifice some goats. You know you're in banks to territory.
I know, we get some chicken in the banks. Did
that she did? She's doing her best? Man. Yeah, I
feel like she's a derivative of my hate of this week. Um,
(09:43):
it's kind of a I always am like it's kind
of a love, but it is. It's like a hatred
of a time. But I love That's That's what I
was playing in my head most of the time. But
all this recent stuff with like Britney Spears is New
York Times documentary, and then the article that Washington posted
(10:03):
about Lindsay Lohan when she turned eighteen and the way
it was like every guy in America has been waiting
for her to turn just the way there was a
countdown for the Olds and twins. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah.
Like twenty years later, people are starting to examine the
early two thousands, and it's just really interesting to me
(10:24):
how sexualized the girls that we grew up, Like Britney Spears, Middriff,
like that was like a very thing, just the early
two thousands Middriff in general. You know, you're talking about
the Loca jeans and I was watching was watching a
TikTok and they were just talking about how the outfits
were not what was on display in the early two thousands.
(10:47):
It was little baby teas and barely there show your
thong jeans. So it was really like you're showing off
that you was size zero or a size too hopefully.
Also that like the beauty at that time was like
Pair Hiltons Dick Skinny, who she I believe is naturally
like that, but that is not how some of them were.
And we saw what happened to Lindsay Lohan. You know
(11:09):
you're right and also too, just like the I mean,
women have been sexualized forever in the in this you
know climate, but it is really gross, like when you
watch that Britney Spears interview and it's like everybody's talking
about your boobs and she's like six year virgin. Yeah
that thing? Are you a virgin? She just trash. I
(11:33):
haven't liked him for a while, but the New York
Times really gave me some reason. What happened. You have
to watch it if you don't watch a documentary. I
thought I would be like depressed, but I was more
like enlightened and empowered than like. But it is a
little like, oh ship, we all played a part and yes, yeah,
Michael Moore said it best. Why don't you just leave
(11:54):
her alone? Yeah he did when they thought he was
crazy for all of his documentaries. You know, I really
now I'm like, I want to go watch this document
It's on Hulu. It's really good. It's only an hour.
Dare I say Michael Moore was woke? Not everything is
(12:16):
for you? But did he dropped on some gym. Yeah,
he really was. I saw in someone's story, like I
guess someone made a neon sign that said free Brittany
and like found a way to plug it in above
a highway. Yeah so you saw it too, Yeah, I
thought I on Instagram, I was like, who did this?
That's watched the documentary and there's a whole political action committee?
(12:41):
Who is they're organized? Wow? Yeah? All right. I will
say I thought the documentary felt a little biased for
it to be The New York Times, Like I felt
like only people who hate Jamie Spears, y'all can find
one person who said why you know? The other perspective?
It was totally Yeah, that's true. I think. Also the
(13:05):
title sort of gave you an idea of the angle
though framing Britney Spears, So it was like we framed
her to be this rational, wild, you know, unstable woman
who actually was just a woman who was dealing with
postpartum depression after given birth to children, dealing with being
harassed by Papa Rozzi so constantly that she couldn't even
(13:28):
just eat in anywhere, like she could never held those
words that she said, like I just don't want to
be touched, Like that's so telling like the bitch was
going through something. I just don't want to be touched
me don't. If I would have had an anxiety, I
would have had a huge anxiety into a car caught
the pain. I mean, but like it's real, I actually
(13:51):
actually for the actually is not a hugger, guys, and
I'd always be like Ashley hug and like I thought
to enough that because I thought that non huggers don't
want hug it's like you're broken or like you want
this but you don't know that you want it. Go ahead,
I'm sorry. Yes, I saw this thing that was like
(14:12):
when you hug someone, you like transfer stuff like transfer energy.
And I didn't understand that lesson literally until I hugged
someone in peril, and like I felt like I literally
was like and my position on hugs has changed forevermore
and I don't want to get nobody no hugs anymore.
(14:33):
I don't want anymore to touch me. I know, it's
kind of yeah, you have to know the person. We're
gonna bump bodies. And I'm tall, so you all open
my titties get out of here. My face has definitely
been in Ashley's titties before I feel like every time
I've hugged you, it's like a close call. You're you're
(14:53):
usually a cheek to the tit yeh know what it is.
I don't want to make you and don't that's not
oh man. I do think the whole hug hug like
when you greet people. I just saw you yesterday. I'm
hugging again like it's a little exhausting time. And COVID
(15:14):
thankfully has changed that. I'm sorry, COVID. I don't even
do hands out right away, right, I don't even do that.
I stay away. I'm like, oh, hey, good to see you.
I tapped open my mask and realized when you didn't
see it. Well. Speaking of things that we wanted to do, uh,
(15:37):
that we didn't think we could. Um, I am now
a non hugger. Um. That is a new dream of mine.
But we all have something that we wanted and didn't
think could happen, or worse, were discouraged from trying to
do so. The question is how do we start living
for us and chase the thing that we want most
that makes us come alive. From a career and entertainment
(15:58):
to moving abroad odd, what are the tools that we
can equip ourselves with to say fuck the haters and
do what we want. But before we jump into it, y'all, first,
a quick little brisky welcome back, y'all. It's time for
(16:21):
us to get into this main conversation, so let's do it.
How did you guys identify your your dreams or your purpose?
I feel like for me, it was sort of like
a passion I had as a child. And also, you know,
I had supported my family in regards to like wanting
to sign up for dance classes and acting classes and
(16:44):
doing all of that in Baltimore was great, but I
always knew I wanted to really pursue it. So I
don't know if I ever had like that lightbulb moment um.
I feel like it was something that, you know, like
I feel like something to me like forever, like you've
just like you kind of have the dream scenario that
(17:05):
people want where they're like I've known since I was four,
I can't out tap dancing, you know, like the womb.
I think that people get stuck on that. Like if
I didn't know when I was four, then I know
how I know? You know, then it's not my purpose,
you know, or like you have the notion and then
it's silenced. Like most people like you were encouraged and
(17:26):
supported to continue pursuing that innate thing that you had.
But I also feel like there's a difference even with
my dreams and like purpose, Like I do find like
I do want part of my mission in life to
leave a legacy and inspire other women you know, like
me to follow their dreams and and feel the stream
(17:47):
to do that. But also, I mean, some of my
purpose in this life is to enjoy it, so you
know what I mean. Like I was literally glaring Cheryl
Crow's all I want to do right before work recording.
I was like, all I want to do is have
some I doe resonate with that. Just go on Santa
(18:08):
mon a couple of art that's like what I know
to be. Like that's where I was introduced to Santa
on a couple of art. Um it's really long, but
Cheryl doesn't tell you that in the song. She does not.
I feel like for me, it has been like as
I acquire skills, I realized, like, oh, you really like
(18:28):
like when I was in school and I really liked
reading and writing, I knew that I wanted to be
a writer, So I thought that was my purpose, and
then as I found comedy, I was like, oh, but
you like making people laugh, so add that to your
you know, your purpose of writing comedy and then you
know performing. So I think, like, I just like to
acquire skills, what makes me feel in the flow, what
makes me feel like I am doing good? Uh? And
(18:54):
then I just added to my bag of this probably
is part of your purpose and every now and then
I'll put the pieces to other than I'm like, okay,
so are you supposed to create ideas and you're supposed
to evoke thought? Okay, all right, you want to be
a service because you're a nurtur rock. So I think
acquiring skills, making sure you're keeping note of what those
things are and you know, pulling them out every now
(19:16):
and then seeing how they fit together. I think that's
really sound. Similarly, I feel like I had it was
a different path, Like I was on a path to
do something that I felt would make my family proud. I,
like you, Scireb was in the arts since I was little,
but it just I didn't have the like, this is
(19:37):
a realistic career path for you side of it. So
I kind of like put that on the wayside and
was like politics is where I can you know, kind
of combine speech and like all of those kind of
things with like doing good in the world, which is
something that is still like one of my core values.
And you know, the hill was not what it's cracked
(19:58):
up to be. I learned after four years there that,
like I would on the other side, I made people
laugh and people would like tell me I'm funny and
all of these things, and I was like, well, if
I'm going to move to l A to try to
do anything, I might as well try people have said,
like I didn't believe it for myself at the time yet,
(20:18):
but like people have said, you're funny. So audition at
the Groundlings. That's where my Rudolph and Kristen Wig went
and that was probably the first indicator of like auditioning
and not having to take classes or whatever. Um was
the first thing of like validation towards me as an entertainer.
And I kind of just kept following what I wanted, Yeah,
(20:41):
like what I love to do and when I stupid
ship that I do when we hang out something, you know,
like those are the things that are like innate to me,
and like instead of being like that's not realistic, like
figuring out how to make those things real um or
like capitalize on the talent that I have and not
like being shying away from it, which yeah, I did
(21:01):
that for a long time. I remember being like in uh,
like my first poem, my first play were both in
the eighth grade, and I knew I really loved acting.
I really loved poetry or writing. But like I got
to high school and growing up in l A, everybody's
an entertainment. So I was like, that's not realistic. And
what you were saying mom me, like I literally was
(21:22):
like that's not realistic. And I was like, I'm going
to be a veterinarian because I love animals and like
going down that path and like we're in turning out
of that hospital, interning at like labental Metal Medicine Resource
Center at City of Hope. I was just like I'm
not trying to be in nobody's lab or like put
dogs down. Just petting puppies all day. I was just
(21:46):
puppies and I was having a great time. And then
I was like, oh that that animal is dead now,
Oh no, sorry guys, But like I definitely I feel
like I scourged myself early on, but it was also
something that kept coming back up. I went to acting school,
but I didn't fully know. I didn't do comedy then.
(22:08):
And then I got into improv and I was like, oh,
this is fun. This feels like it's taking a little
pressure off of the seriousness of trying to have a
career in an industry that is very hard to have
a career. And and it also led to me pushing
myself in areas like I took a writing class at AMDELL,
but I didn't push myself as hard, Like I just
started sort of like tumble weeded into like more things
(22:29):
in this field, but like I definitely expanded over time
and picked up skills like, oh, this is the third
web series that you've produced and directed and written. Maybe
you should try to do more of that, you know
what I mean, Like one thing led to another. I
just like the idea of like, if it's bringing you joy,
lean into it, I mean. And also, don't go anythinking
(22:51):
you're just about to be rich and famous, because Lord knows.
I think, like a rule of thumb of chasing your
dreams is there are no time meants, there are no
age requirements. Or cut off to do anything. And I
think that's also a huge thing to understand, like we
don't know how things are going to fall into place. No,
(23:13):
it really is a marathon. It's not a sprint. Um.
I would say that to anybody. I know. Nipsey said it,
but I used to say it too before. So what
are some of the dreams that you guys are like
really proud of or that you've accomplished so far? Have
any of your wildest dreams come true? What did it
feel like? I haven't had wildest dreams because my dreams
(23:34):
of wild they but UM, I think like Mommy and
you were talking about, you know, being affirmed and going
to groundlings and you know, moving through that process. I
feel like I came to l A thinking I'm gonna
chase opportunity in sunshine, whatever that opportunity looks like, whatever
(23:56):
UH comes about. And I knew that I liked writing
and I can one improv class and I was just
like I got my first laugh and I was like,
maybe maybe I have talent and maybe I could like
homeless uh. And then going to u c B like
seeing people who I thought were really really funny and
believing that I could do it and then doing it
(24:19):
like and not and you know this feels like a brag,
but not just doing it, like I really just walked
up in there. I really just like did not finish
the program, did not know what a Harold team was
a year before, and I made it. And I was
just like, oh, like this was the universe saying you're
on your path, Like why you why are you playing
(24:40):
around like you don't know? You know when the universe
is speaking to you because you feel it. You feel
like it's like you were like beauty school drop out
that scene like literally ushered into on the stage, which
is like, hello, this is your space, Well come in. Yeah,
when you feel like I was in the pocket. So
(25:02):
I was really proud of just moving across the country
and deciding to bet on myself and feeling affirmed in
oh girl, good bet. Yeah. I feel like those little
moments are like to be celebrated, you know, or like
big moments, but like to be like when you're feeling
something I was. I wasn't in this clubhouse the other
(25:23):
day and they were talking about like savoring, savoring that
moment of like I've accomplished this thing and it's happening,
and I'm so like I live for those moments of like, yes,
this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I remember
when we I think when we got our Comedy Central
deal and we were with Lucia and Paul, who are
(25:44):
like EPs of our show and everything, um shout out
to broad City, and Paul was like, you have to say,
like I don't know if he used the word savor,
but he was like, you need to celebrate every yes
on your pitch doc that you just center like yeah,
no notes, like celebrate all those little steps because how
(26:05):
hard we work to even get to the place, you know,
and you don't want to be like so focused on
the work that you're not looking up like oh I
didn't think I would be here someday and I'm standing here,
I think, yeah, definitely, just sitting in that gratitude and
like try to remember like the first time something happened,
like the first co star or small rollout booked was
(26:28):
The Gambler, and I remember like being that giddy girl
on set asking Mark Warburg for a picture and being
like I mean, like you know what I mean, Like
I remember just being so overjoyed and like then you know,
other things happened and you feel that joy. But then
like if you remember that spark of like when you
got that one little step and celebrate all the winds
(26:49):
with that level of gratitude, it just makes them so
much better because I mean, and of course you can't
like try to duplicate the level of joy you had
for your first job, but like I do highly recommend
and agree with you guys in regards to celebrating sell
it really sitting in the joy and savoring it. Yeah,
(27:09):
I feel like it's so especially in l A. Everyone
not everyone, but I run into a lot of people
who are doing cool ship and just like slipping about it,
don't care, don't want to be doing it, And it's
like make room for someone who would have so much
fun doing this ship, Like if you can't be like yo,
I was on set today and I wrote this thing,
and it was like why are you? You know? I
(27:30):
felt that way like in the first sketch that I wrote,
because I really was like I'm just a poet and
I'm just an actor, and like taking a sketch class
at UCB and writing that first sketch, I was like,
maybe I can write other in other mediums and like
I was just like, like seeing it put up on stage,
(27:50):
I was like, Yo, this is crazy. And you know what,
I remember this moment guys we had a black Girl
Magic show and someone from BT came I think it
was b Et and then afterwards we went to what
was that club or the bar party white Girl a
girl at the White Horse. Yes, I just remember like
(28:11):
feeling so giddy because I was like, Yo, like we
crushed it. We're doing the thing, like we're on our
fucking way, like we're doing it. Yeah. And also I
think that also has to lean into like it's not
complacent to still have joy even if you aren't fully
at where you're trying to be, Like just because the
journey is not complete, there's no completion in my mind,
(28:32):
like I mean death. That's then like why not have
joy on every step rather than like when I really
sell that thing and when I really get that thing.
And you just literally spoke life into me there, sister Pike,
thank you for the word, because yeah, last year was
(28:54):
really good in a crazy way career wise, and I
got opportunities to pitch shows and write my own shows
and all that, and I feel like I'm really afraid
of anyone knowing any of that because it's not on
the error yet. It's like finding a balance for me
between what to share and what to not. But yeah,
(29:16):
I I pitched a show and it might become a
show like that feels great, um and Sony basically optioned it.
So now I just need to find the home for it. Yeah, girl,
appreciate you all. But again that's I only think that's
possible because which kind of brings us to our next
(29:39):
point of like, what are setbacks you've experienced along the way?
And I know that I've told you guys about this
speech that Ava Duverney gave. It was her film Independent
address in if you google it, it's on there. And
when I listened to that, that just changed my whole
perspective of like you say you want X y Z,
how do you you make it happen? Like what are
(30:02):
the actionable steps instead of all the thoughts? And then
you see what other people are doing and compare yourself
and well, like I used to spend a lot of
time doing that instead of like sitting down and writing
the thing, you know, And I think that was one
of my biggest blocks on my journey is like caring
too much about the outside instead of like who I
(30:23):
am at my core and what I'm here for. Did
she say anything about the code of desperation and the
code of desperation speech? Do you much? That stuck with
me too? Oh? Really? That, Like I literally remember the
like the only thing that I remember from that film
Independent speech was her talking about this code of desperation.
And I definitely in terms of setbacks, like self doubt
(30:47):
is the biggest one for me because I am like
often like oh I want you know that people to
like approve it, and it's like, it's not about what
other people are doing, Like it's not about comparing yourself
to other folks about any and else fully understanding like
where you're at, because someone somewhere is going to resonate,
but regardless, like being happy with the stuff that you
(31:08):
have to produce, the stories that you're called to tell,
the things that you're called to do, like that only
you can do. And I think when you get to
that space of knowing like this is what I'm here
to do, and I feel real good and comfortable in
the pursuit of what I need to do and listening
and trust in yourself, that code of desperation is not
(31:29):
there anymore, you know what I mean. It's like knowing
that I have value. I bring value to this earth,
to this planet, to the people in my community, you know.
And I love that. She says you can smell it,
like not literally, but figure you can smell it usky
(31:49):
like it's so true because you want it so bad,
and you're like, oh, I'm gonna like I can fit
into this box. Look, look, I can fit in this box.
And it's like, you got your own shoot that you
gotta focus on. And when you're in that, when you're
in your fucking lane, that's your lane. No one else
can touch it. I was gonna prompt if you don't mind,
(32:09):
I just think as an actress, the things that you've
been through, Shakira have been really interesting too. Yeah, you know,
I mean setbacks. I don't even know if these are setbacks,
more so like lessons in patients, because lord knows, I've
been pinned in at a chemistry read or I mean,
I shoot, I had a table read, y'all. I think
(32:30):
I told you all with Britney Snow and like I
was that close at the table read and then they're like,
guess what we're cutting your role, you know. I mean
I booked jobs and I gotta call it six and
a am like, oh, actually we cut the role last night,
so don't show up to set. Like in this industry,
sag actors book three on average of their jobs. So
(32:51):
out of a hundred jobs, you book three. That's just
a random stat Some people you know be auditioned and
booked seven to ten you know, up for them. Um.
So just like even knowing that it's a numbers game
in that way, I mean, I think, if anything, it's
humbled me and calmed me um and a very long
(33:15):
and tedious way that I wish it hasn't had you.
But you know, I do think every setback is just
like a grounding moment where you're like all right, and
it it does break your heart. Sometimes I'm not even
gonna lie, Like there have been jobs where I'm like,
oh I really want this, I would you know, how
(33:35):
do you manifest this? How do I figure out? You know,
how could I make this happen? But you know it's
right for you. It's right for you. And I do
feel like I've had wonderful wins, like all day and
the night was you know, my biggest role so so far,
and that was a great opportunity to like really act
and really dig into a character and like, you know,
(33:55):
do what I've been doing, and and you know, these
little five five for rooms with these casts directed. You know.
I like what you said about setbacks being grounding moments,
and I think some of my biggest setbacks have been
just like not following my instinct. I have really good instincts,
(34:17):
but one of my superpowers is also logic, and they
fight against each other because you can't explain instinct. It's
a feeling. It's a knowing without knowing. And my instinct
will say, hey, bit, you don't like this ship, don't
do this no more, you know, and they're saying, well, hey,
everyone really likes this. And I'm specifically thinking about being
(34:38):
on that UCB team. I wanted to make it just
to stroke my ego and say I made it. And
then when it was come time to be a part
of the team, I was like, I don't really want
to do this part, but everyone loves this position. I
should really enjoy this. And so instead of listening to myself,
I forced myself to be a part of this thing
for two years and it was. You know, I learned things,
and you know it's part of my journey that I
(35:00):
still take lessons from. But when I did let go
of it, I made room for other things that were
better for me, you know. And instead of being like, oh,
I should have done it sooner, I think about, well,
look at your instinct was right, so you might want
to trust it next time when it tells you something's
off or you know, this energy ain't right, whatever it is,
(35:24):
trusting my instincts. Yeah, and you have really good instincts, Ash.
I do feel like you're very connected in that way.
I mean, after you told us that story about walking
out and finding that wallet, I said, this girl know
how to made a festival. It was I was my
my first apartment. I was working hard. I had like
two jobs, but I wasn't making rent. And I was
(35:44):
just like I need money. I just need a few
more dollars. I need a few more dollars. And I
was walking from my job and there was a wallet
that you said. You were like, I'm I'm probably gonna
find a wallet. I literally when I saw it, I said, like,
I really else it. And then I can't tell you
one because I was like that's wrong to take this
while but literally the universe blotted it in front of
(36:04):
me for his reason. But wow, that is manifesting. I
should have thought bigger. So what tools do you guys
use to manifest your dreams? When I think about like
how we've gotten here, the idea of like manifestation is
so I'd say it was like a game changer for
(36:25):
me saying the affirmation, writing down explicitly, this is the
thing I want. Actually, I love that You're like, I
should have dreamed bigger, like or I should have affirmed
something more like you know, I definitely feel like this
podcast is an example of that, like putting I remember
years ago putting a picture of us. Actually I have
the framed photo Mommy that you gave us with our
(36:47):
little sticker card in it of like this first photo
shoot of us. But I put this picture on our
vision board right next to a picture of Shonda Rhymes
underneath the caption like mentor and granted we have yet
to meet Shanonda, we will we will, right right, um,
But like this, I definitely see it as like a
(37:08):
manifestation of like wanting to be in her orbit somehow.
And then this podcast, you know, what I mean, and
it's I see it like with all the other facets
of my life. Of like you write it down, you
say it out loud, you release it, you do a
vision board. But the writing it down and like being
very clear about the thing that you want and in
(37:31):
what way, and then the universe provides. And I'm like,
the clearness is the ship that messes me because I'd
be trying to be so clear that it is goddamn
eight years long, you know, definitely for me in terms
of like obviously I have spiritually think about the thing
and like kind of like envision how I want things
(37:53):
to be and then try to write actionable steps to
making certain things happen, Like what I can control. I
can't control my dream man who's on his way. I
don't know when he's going to get here, But I
can't control like making sure I've finished this act of
a script that I am writing, or like sitting down
and focusing instead of like taking a week to do
(38:15):
something that would only take me an hour if I
just like sit down and do it. So I think
it's a combination of being realistic with yourself about your
abilities um and then diving into that what you were
saying about like taking a step towards your dreams is
like so critical. Like once you see the thing that
(38:36):
you want, it's like, okay, let me like now that
I have that vision, Like I feel like my mom
always said, like you take a step, the universe takes
a step with you, you know, Like, uh, that action,
that thing that you put forward to make your vision
come true, um, moves you closer and closer. Yeah. I
think also one of the steps that take is like
I feel like I'm co creating with the universe and
(39:01):
um God and all of the energy I feel. But
I'm also like surrendering to the fact that there are
a lot of things out of my control. So I
can put all this out there, but I also have
to just be patient and surrender to the process of it. Uh.
And I do agree, like specificity is important, but um
sometimes you know, it's so funny. When I got all
(39:23):
Day to night, I was up for Aquafina and I
had just had a producer session with Flucia, and I
wanted that so bad, and then I find out that
the black girl that they had in it turned into
a guest star, and then she wasn't serious regular anymore,
and it went to a girl who I know who's been,
you know, out here hustling. But also that was like
a very telling thing, like I wanted something too, like
(39:44):
I was clinging to it that I couldn't let it
just happen. I was so like I was putting energy
I don't know, like too heavily on a thing, like
choking the life out of the thing that you want.
It's like the difference between getting it and not getting it,
you know, Like I feel like there's that level of
like I believe this thing is going to happen, and
(40:05):
I said it, and now I gotta trust the process.
It seems like when we force versus when we live
with ease, Like ease is like everything we've been talking
about what can you control versus what you can't. You
can try to grind something down that it's like it
(40:25):
takes all every blood, sweat and tear, like you know,
versus the things that flow in time when you put
your energy towards something. That's interesting that you're talking about ease,
because I've been learning about the brain recently, and just
like your mind, what's constantly running for most people, it's
supposed to be empty it's supposed to be the chamber
(40:49):
for your heart to receive a message, for your your
heart to send your mind a message and for you
to receive it, for you to to take in the
genius at the universe is giving you and receive it,
and not for you to try to be manifest in
some thoughts Like though, that's not what your mind is for.
If you are going to use your mind in this
way where you have constant thoughts, something that I've been
learning about is using it in the positive. She care
(41:13):
you always talk about the same thoughts that you think
about all the time, Like you gotta be intentional about
what those thoughts are. So you always find yourself going
somewhere to a place maybe that's negative that you don't like.
You got to recreate that thought and put it into
where do you want to see yourself? What is the
life that you wanna have live there in your mind?
(41:34):
So like when I go somewhere negative, I started singing
a song bit you won't a beat, You got my
neat Like I really just trying to make my mind
and take this good stuff quite literally. That like that
choice which when you hear it's a choice to be
happy blah blah blah like it in theory, that's like,
what are you talking about? But no, there are a
(41:55):
lot of negative forces in this world and they're easier
to take over you than like the positive ones. We
remember things that hurt more than the most amazing moments,
you know, and it's almost glorified. Yeah, be kind of
a nasty bit right like that, aude. Yeah, the positive
affirmation part of like this is the thing that I want.
(42:18):
Like it's easy to be like, man, I'm not trying
to do this thing or that or like, but being
like this is the thing in a positive way. Yeah.
I was just gonna say, I think it's a choice
in a practice. Yeah, it's not easy, like our subconscious
it's our thoughts, and it's so easy to that's strong.
You'll be talking about that fight you about to head,
(42:39):
like I'm a man, I should have told her, And
then you're like, why am I thinking about this? It's
not paying no rent, it's taking up a ton of
space in my head. So like it's and you get
an energy to whatever you're thinking about if you don't
want it to happen. Something thinking about and you know,
one thing that stuck with me I think Abraham Hicks
said it is like, stop fighting for your limitations. It's
(43:01):
so that's Oh I heard that on Elizabeth Gilbert. She
said that, oh, maybe you argue for your limitations, you
keep them so that is not cute. And if I know,
I'm just like hearing it. And but I can't do
it because so and so and so and so. So. Yeah,
(43:21):
you can't. You can't actually right like and you said
the thing you cannot do it can't. It's not in
a man's vocabulary. Why because when you say can't, you
what is that from? Loving basketball? Sorry, Gina, So we
are there things along the way, like do you feel
(43:44):
like you've sacrificed anything in the pursuit of your dreams? Hell, yeah, happiness,
I'm just kidding, but actually no, I'm not. I think
moving to l A is like I am not near
my core people that have soul connections with and that
was a struggle for definitely the first eight of my
(44:07):
nine years there. Um. But yeah, you trying to trying
to like stay grounded and true to who I am
as a person around a lot of different energies that
might not have the same intentions as me. That was
like people who don't know you from before exactly or not,
don't understand who you are as a person, like could
(44:29):
misinterpret what you say because they don't know that you're
coming from a good place always at least I am, um,
And that was really difficult for me, Um, and a
sacrifice of like being away from just a actual presence
of a body that I know knows me and loves me.
When you moved to l A, did you know it
(44:50):
was going to be that hard. I was really afraid
of l A for a long time until it was demystified,
and then it like eased into being hard. Like I
was very idealistic at first, and like, oh, this isn't
so bad. I got in groundlings, this is easy like
type of vibe. But then you know, you start working
(45:10):
and you start collaborating, and then you run into people
with other agendas and like that. I had to learn,
like just because you want something doesn't mean everybody else
wants that, or like because you see something a certain
way doesn't mean, like my mom says, everybody didn't grow
up in your house. Like that was a lesson I
had to learn. So No, I definitely didn't think it
(45:31):
would be as toxic as it is, or understand the
way that it was toxic because it's very specific. Yeah,
I guess I was thinking more like the like not
being close to those people you have soul connections too,
because I didn't realize how tough it was going to
be for me to not be with my family like
(45:52):
I had already moved away, like I was moved. I
was two hours away, So it felt like how why
would l A be that different? But it was like
I didn't know, you know, I always joke I didn't
know where the hairstore was. That was a big problem
for me, Like I do my hair often. It's a
part of how I get out feelings and how I distressed.
And I couldn't find anything, and it was just like,
what the fund did I come here? I don't know
(46:13):
where anything and I don't have any I was. I
was on the couch for five months, like until I
found comedy and I was like, oh, you got purpose.
You're supposed to be here, you know, there's reason. But man,
that first five months of sacrificing comfort, I think that's
the biggest comfort of thing, is that sacrificed his comfort
moving into my car, moving you know, all that I think, Yeah,
(46:36):
like moving here, Uh, you're gonna miss holidays, You're gonna
miss family trips. I mean there are things. I don't
have a ton of regrets, but I do know there
was a family trip that I wish I had risks
and spent money on because like it was the last
one with a relative. Like there are things that you
you got to decide because on top of coming out
here to pursue your dreams, unless you come for money,
(46:58):
you don't have no money. So was like I couldn't
go home for Christmas one year. I had a whole
mental breakdown. When I first moved to l A, I
didn't have my car, so I had to like save
up enough money to get it shipped here. So I
was walking in l A. Ain't no city to walk in.
If you ever move, let me tell you right now,
which is the longest block? Right? I was walking and
(47:18):
riding a bike, and I lived up a hill, so
I would always have to push the bike up the hill.
And it's just only because she said she was walking
and riding the bike. Your kids and we thing, have
you ever tried to bike up for him? That is impossible.
That is impossible, And then I like I had a
living room. We had a two bedroom and two girls
(47:39):
share one room, one girl shared another room, and I
had the living room space. I had no privacy, I mean.
And granted I moved out here at nineteen, so being
broke at that age it is, it's usually normal. But
it was just like, I'm also far as hell for
my family. Like before, I used to just go home
and I could my mom could do my hair. My
we've was so bad, y'all. My we've would get mad
(47:59):
at in chunks because it was in my I couldn't
afford to like do anything, And I remember being like,
why did I move here? For me? It was like
the poverty part I didn't realize, like or maybe I mean,
it's just like I was broke for a very very,
(48:23):
very very long time, and it was like I can
either take a job like a desk job or some
sort of survival job that will pay the bills and
will allow for me to go to brunch and hang
out with friends and do the things that they're doing.
And I do feel really, you know, grateful, blessed, lucky
that my family was here and most of my friends,
(48:45):
like I had a really I have a very strong
support system here, you know, and l A is home,
so it's not the same sort of I guess isolation.
But everyone else, like I specifically think about like care,
you're talking about rips, You're talking about brunches, like people
gathering and I'm like, oh, I'll have the water, Like no,
(49:06):
I'm gonna I'm gonna pass because I can't afford it,
you know, like or being like how am I gonna
pay rent? Like how am I going to get by?
How am I going to feed myself? But you know
you do have to work at those I mean I did.
I worked as a surfer for eight years, so you know,
I was a hostess and a slave and a nanny.
(49:28):
I did it all. I was hired as an assistant
and turned into a nanny, childcare giver. Like it's just
it's just like but the goal was always in the
in then the horizon. M Yeah, that's part of the sacrifice.
I feel like, you know, you gotta do that. That work.
(49:49):
You don't like with them kids fucking what do you
call them patrons? Those customers or the rest? You don't
have customers. We have guests start home and people come
in there angry, Okay, last you knowing now about the journey.
What you know? If you could go back in time
(50:11):
and tell your former self anything, what would you say,
you got it? Boom, that's it. I would say, you
got it. Boost stop doubting yourself. M hm. Similarly, trust
your gut girl is going to lead you the right
way every time. Y'all know. I have a quote Alice
(50:36):
Walker said in the color Purple. She said, I think
it pisses God off if you walk by the color
purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it. What
to do when it piste off? I asked, Oh, it
makes something else. People think pleasing God is all God
care about, but any fool living in the world can
see it always trying to please us back. And like
(50:58):
I think I would tell myself, like, you are possible,
You can do the ship that you want to do.
Like you don't have to like conform into other people's
visions for you, Like God wants you to be joyful,
God like spirit universe. Like you're here to enjoy this
life and it's okay to do that and to notice
the small things along the way. Yes, I would just
(51:20):
say enjoy the process. Um, don't stress so much and
do to work continue. I mean I feel like I
do to do to work. But you know, to younger self, like, hey,
it's not exactly how you think you It's not gonna
take a year to come out here become a serious regular.
It's what I thought, was he But also I really did,
(51:46):
I really did. I finished school. I was like, oh, yeah,
I'm gonna be ay. I mean, you know that might
have also had a hand in where you are today.
So yeah, no, I don't regret anything. I do feel
like everything is at me here and I love where
I am, and I love the skin I'm in, and
also loving knowing yourself along the way. I do feel
like you can get out here and get sucked up,
(52:08):
and even in regards to body, what's he's supposed to
look like on camera and all of that bull crap,
And it used to take up way too much space
in my mind, Like, who gives a damn? You know,
y'alls that are in for you are gonna be for
you truly. Okay, So to all y'all out there, who
out there wanting to chase your dreams, chase the run fast.
(52:32):
Somebody is chasing you. Run like slow, Joe with style
and great that was actually a train. But I can,
I think I can. Okay, okay, we believe in you, y'all.
Go ahead and get what you want. You only got
this one life only unless you relieve in reincarnation, you know,
(52:57):
get to the other side and then it's a new journey.
All right, y'all, it's time for us to give some advice.
But first we're going to take a break. Welcome back.
(53:17):
It's time for us to give a listener some advice. MOMMYA,
what do you have for us? All right? Today's letter reads,
Dear O D do you believe in ghosts? I feel
like there's a presence in my house and I can't
seem to shake it. I've burned some stage and played
Janet I goes trigger protection mantra. But what should I
(53:40):
do next? The ghost? And pay and rent? And my
electricity bill is too damn high to be keeping these
lights on all night every night? Help signed Casper, you
better move on. UM, that's territory. Call Leslie Jones, um,
(54:04):
Kate McKinnon if you can get her. I mean, I
think you should contact somebody who deals with that kind
of stuff. Um, if you truly feel because ghost saying
something to play with call on Jesus son of Yeah,
I will say yes, I believe in ghosts though ghost yeah,
(54:26):
I mean, okay, here's some uh you know, when I
first moved to my apartment, we had the discussion that
maybe I had to go. So I got some black tormline.
It is a protection and good energy. Crystal supposed to
just like get out any spears that you don't want,
So I got some of that. Also, you can burn
that sage girl. What is Janet I goes trigger protection mantra.
(54:49):
I don't get that. It's a song. It's a soundbath
style song with her like come dwn that comes to you,
that sounds beautiful, Relax like I don't like people telling
me what to do. Yeah, I think what actually said,
(55:10):
like find someone who can who can help you with that,
like maybe helping you cleanse the space or you know,
do some say some prayers like you call on the ancestors,
call on God. Also, keeping the lights on ain't really
gonna do nothing. If the ghost want to get you,
he gets you in the dark or the light, it's real.
(55:31):
In fact, you're probably helping him see you better. Also,
they might not want anything bad. I mean, how you
know somebody told me to do a deep meditation and
ask them directly what do you want? But that's a
real connection ship. If you're ready to be confronted by
that goes. I didn't hear someone say you just have
to say there are any dark spirits here, I want
(55:53):
you to leave, something like vampires like that. But who
knows what's real and what's not. In that case, I
haven't had to eradicate a ghost. Yeah, from my experience,
I put flowers out on my front. That was one
thing I was told to do. I was told that
the stage wasn't working quite well. Then I got the
(56:15):
black tormeline? And then who came and read your house?
Nobody that somebody I used to hang out with got
a reading, and the they're reading the person described my
house and was like, so, yeah, you have a friend
who's been burning stage to try to get rid of
a ghost she has with floors in a gray door.
And the friend was like, I know exactly who you're
(56:37):
talking about, and then I know, and then and they
she the person she talked to, recommended I put some
fresh flowers out for them because they want like and sorry,
I feel like there's gone for the most part. Like
when I first came in, I was like, it's eerie
here and I'm not gonna lie. A man did kill now,
(56:59):
he didn't kill him off. He died in this house.
He um had a blood clot thing happened, and hay
to make it. But yes, I would just recommend, you know,
doing some of that woo woo stuff and praying um
and asking the spirit to leave. Just talking to my
mom said this thing that even applied for the dream thing.
But she was like, my energy is my energy. Your
(57:21):
energy is your energy. So like whatever spirit, move on, Martinez,
get the step and gohostbusters number is one eight hundred
goes gone them and they will take care of this
d And you repeat the number, one eight hundred goost gone.
(57:42):
That's g h O s TM gone gone. Okay, thank you,
make sure you remember that go stomp. We appreciate y'all
tuning in. Remember to subscribe. If you want to show
us some love, you can rate and review this podcast
five stars only baby, and of course you can always
(58:02):
come kiki with us on our social media pages on Instagram,
We're at Obama's other Daughters on Twitter We're at O
D Improv and on Facebook, we're at Obama's Other Daughters.
If you need some advice, like Casper, you better move
on here. You know where to find us. Send your
letters to O O D Podcast at gmail dot com.
(58:24):
Are we gonna help you out? We can't wait to
see you next week. You guys, talk to you later. Bye.
You Down is a production of Shawnda land Audio and
partnership with I heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shawnda
land Audio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
Welcome to You Down, a production of Shonda Land Audio
and partnership with I Heartredia. Those same thoughts that you
think about all the time, Like you gotta be intentional
about what those thoughts are. So you always find yourself
going somewhere to a place maybe that's negative that you
don't like. You gotta recreate that thought and put it
into where do you want to see yourself? What is
(00:21):
the life that you wanna have lived there in your mind?
So like when I go somewhere negative, I started singing
a song bit you won't a beat, you got my
neat Like I really just like trying to make my
mind and take this good stuff. Hello everyone, and welcome
(00:42):
back to you Down, a podcast where four funny honeys
come together to talk about what's going on in the culture.
I'm Shakiragene Pay, I'm Mommy A A four Oh, I'm
Yasman Money Watkins, and I'm Ashley Wolsten. But collectively we
are known as Obama's other Doddess. You don't know, you know,
(01:08):
you know, you know, you know, and the Alchemists, Paulo
Coelo says, and when you want something, all the universe
conspires and helping you to achieve it, And today we're
asking are you down to chase your dreams? We all
have those dreams, those visions, the passion that interpoll that
(01:31):
guides us if we listen, especially in a town like
l A. Almost every person you meet has some sort
of aspiration for the entertainment industry. But it extends beyond that.
We all have that urge, but how many people actually
make it and what does it take to get there?
No matter where we are in the world, your dreams matter.
How do you take care of yourself in the processes
(01:52):
at Pretuit? So today we're discussing chasing dreams? But first,
what's your loving? What you eating this week? This week,
I am loving numerology. I found it probably two years ago,
and I dabbled in and out of it. You know,
I used the tools that served me in the time.
But I have just been feeling just a little like
(02:15):
what am I supposed to be doing right now? And
I looked up my personal year and like, okay, what
year am I in? And h I found out what
year I was in it. It really helped me feel like, Okay,
this makes sense now, this is this is a year
of being emotional of digging into connections of a lot
(02:39):
of introspection, and so it just made sense why I'm
being moody and why you know where I'm at? Um,
And so I just love astrology for that reason, to
just tools that can help you feel like ship makes sense, right.
I love that when you say where you're at, can
you go a little deep or until? How numerology does that?
(03:02):
I mean it gets so deep. So there are different
numbers that you have. Your name is a number, your
birthday plush, the you know the year you were born
as a number. Um. But there numbers that make a
difference day to day, like your life path Mamya and
Yasmin are three life paths? Should carry your five on
(03:23):
a four? Yeah, I did, everybody. I was trying to
groogy looking up. It helps you. It'll help you learn
some stuff or you leave the stuff you don't need.
It's amazing. Oh man, you know what UM loving right now?
But also it's so it's so random. I had a
(03:43):
crazy uber ride and so I get into the uber.
First off, the heat is on, but the windows are
cracked because I think that's like COVID protocol. But it
smells like a hot box like this man weed or
like we like straight homone probably got in this car
with a bunch of wek um no, because as he
(04:04):
drove off, was he high? He said, I like to
drive and get high. It's very relaxing while being employed
by Uber. Yeah, I didn't even know how to handle.
I was like, what he just told me? He's high?
And then I asked him, isn't it illegal? And he
was like, um no, I don't smoke while I'm driving.
(04:25):
I pull over. Of course he should be pulling over
and getting out and letting his high come down for
few hours. No, you needed to deal with these people
so that these dances face. Then he said, oh, it's
a little traffic on the one on one. Hope, I'm
not gonna make you late for a little date or nothing.
(04:50):
He wanted to see you wanted some readfer as well?
I know, well, he offered, he offered. Next he said,
I got some thanks to Tiva, so you know, And
I'm like, I don't know, sir, I don't need to
do that where everybody. That's what I wonder when that
kind of stuff happens, you just be asking everybody if
they want to smoke with you. It's nasty, actually, like
(05:15):
you're not about to put your mouth on somebody's I mean,
somebody is out there putting a mouth on people's blunts.
But I'm not um. But I just was like hick.
And then he was playing trapped music underneath. And when
I say trapped music, like the ones they only use
bitches and holes like that. But I was highly entertained.
(05:35):
I was like, this is a whole as sketch. How
many stars you give them? I didn't even rate him
because I was like, I can tear him down or
I can build him up, and I don't really know
if I should do either because he was high. That's
off of a mediocre uber driver, Like, you didn't do great,
you didn't do that? Just not gonna respond. I usually
(05:55):
leave a five star, but I was like, this man
just told me he's high. Didn't get you You're safe
though he got me here safely. He was unprofessional, but
he got you there. He did get me to and
he had a BMW, which was also crazy apple. I
walked up to the car and I was like, oh,
I got a black car and I ordered a regular
one and I got in a nothing. I know, why
(06:19):
what about actually I really resonate with what you were
saying about, like just connecting spiritually. I feel like at
this period in my life, I've been receiving signs and
just needing to trust my intuition more and like listening
to guides that are sort of around me. But one
thing that I sort of hate about this process, aside
(06:42):
from that it requires a lot of labor, and like
it's a little scary too, because you're like, am I
communicating with the other side? But for my ultraspace. Last night,
I was trying to light a candle and present an offering,
and I realized I didn't have anything that my dad
liked or anything like that, aside from popcorn. Uh. So
(07:03):
I have a bag of movie theater popcorn sitting out
and I'm I kind of I'm like, what are you
supposed to do with the food once you've offered it?
You know what I mean? Like, how long are you
supposed to leave it out? I don't know. I'm trying
to figure it out, but I'm looking at this bag
of popcorn right now and I hate that it's just out,
Like what do you do? Do you guys know? Do
you guys have altar? Spaces. No, I don't have one,
(07:26):
but my sister does, and that she recently made an
offering for my grandmother and she burned the candle and
left a bowl of leaf it was apples and something else,
and when the candle finished burning, she took it away. Kay.
I can get down with that. But I mean, what
I like about all of those practices is that there's
(07:49):
so much knowledge out there and you can find the
answers of like what the ancient rituals were. Um, if
you are so inclined when you describe the candle process,
that kind of reminds me of like Catholic prayer and
intention in it, and like that's a huge Like there's
a perpetual candle burning at most churches and like my
(08:13):
mom volunteers to like watch the one at our church
for an hour a week, but like basically to keep
that prayer and intentions that have been put into that
light going. So I feel like, like we always say,
it's all under the same umbrella. Yeah, And I do
feel that Cira sent me some meditation links earlier this
(08:33):
week that we're just like so spot on. So I've
been exploring more and more what you were saying about
it being connected because on the one hand, I'm listening
to the meditation and like doing you know, or like
cleansing of some sort, and then uh, I was playing
gospel music. It was that connection to like God or
spirit and like all of it was like combined, you know,
(08:55):
it wasn't It didn't feel like it was separate from
And I don't think it should. I think people like
try to polarize religion versus spirit. No, it all. Really,
I feel like what works for you is what you
should practice. And if you want to light and sent
and listen to Kirk Franklin stomp and also put an
app sacrifice of apples, so be sacrifice of apples are
(09:19):
an offering. I mean, but yeah, that's don't want to
sacrifice some goats. You know you're in banks to territory.
I know, we get some chicken in the banks. Did
that she did? She's doing her best? Man. Yeah, I
feel like she's a derivative of my hate of this week. Um,
(09:43):
it's kind of a I always am like it's kind
of a love, but it is. It's like a hatred
of a time. But I love That's That's what I
was playing in my head most of the time. But
all this recent stuff with like Britney Spears is New
York Times documentary, and then the article that Washington posted
(10:03):
about Lindsay Lohan when she turned eighteen and the way
it was like every guy in America has been waiting
for her to turn just the way there was a
countdown for the Olds and twins. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah.
Like twenty years later, people are starting to examine the
early two thousands, and it's just really interesting to me
(10:24):
how sexualized the girls that we grew up, Like Britney Spears, Middriff,
like that was like a very thing, just the early
two thousands Middriff in general. You know, you're talking about
the Loca jeans and I was watching was watching a
TikTok and they were just talking about how the outfits
were not what was on display in the early two thousands.
(10:47):
It was little baby teas and barely there show your
thong jeans. So it was really like you're showing off
that you was size zero or a size too hopefully.
Also that like the beauty at that time was like
Pair Hiltons Dick Skinny, who she I believe is naturally
like that, but that is not how some of them were.
And we saw what happened to Lindsay Lohan. You know
(11:09):
you're right and also too, just like the I mean,
women have been sexualized forever in the in this you
know climate, but it is really gross, like when you
watch that Britney Spears interview and it's like everybody's talking
about your boobs and she's like six year virgin. Yeah
that thing? Are you a virgin? She just trash. I
(11:33):
haven't liked him for a while, but the New York
Times really gave me some reason. What happened. You have
to watch it if you don't watch a documentary. I
thought I would be like depressed, but I was more
like enlightened and empowered than like. But it is a
little like, oh ship, we all played a part and yes, yeah,
Michael Moore said it best. Why don't you just leave
(11:54):
her alone? Yeah he did when they thought he was
crazy for all of his documentaries. You know, I really
now I'm like, I want to go watch this document
It's on Hulu. It's really good. It's only an hour.
Dare I say Michael Moore was woke? Not everything is
(12:16):
for you? But did he dropped on some gym. Yeah,
he really was. I saw in someone's story, like I
guess someone made a neon sign that said free Brittany
and like found a way to plug it in above
a highway. Yeah so you saw it too, Yeah, I
thought I on Instagram, I was like, who did this?
That's watched the documentary and there's a whole political action committee?
(12:41):
Who is they're organized? Wow? Yeah? All right. I will
say I thought the documentary felt a little biased for
it to be The New York Times, Like I felt
like only people who hate Jamie Spears, y'all can find
one person who said why you know? The other perspective?
It was totally Yeah, that's true. I think. Also the
(13:05):
title sort of gave you an idea of the angle
though framing Britney Spears, So it was like we framed
her to be this rational, wild, you know, unstable woman
who actually was just a woman who was dealing with
postpartum depression after given birth to children, dealing with being
harassed by Papa Rozzi so constantly that she couldn't even
(13:28):
just eat in anywhere, like she could never held those
words that she said, like I just don't want to
be touched, Like that's so telling like the bitch was
going through something. I just don't want to be touched
me don't. If I would have had an anxiety, I
would have had a huge anxiety into a car caught
the pain. I mean, but like it's real, I actually
(13:51):
actually for the actually is not a hugger, guys, and
I'd always be like Ashley hug and like I thought
to enough that because I thought that non huggers don't
want hug it's like you're broken or like you want
this but you don't know that you want it. Go ahead,
I'm sorry. Yes, I saw this thing that was like
(14:12):
when you hug someone, you like transfer stuff like transfer energy.
And I didn't understand that lesson literally until I hugged
someone in peril, and like I felt like I literally
was like and my position on hugs has changed forevermore
and I don't want to get nobody no hugs anymore.
(14:33):
I don't want anymore to touch me. I know, it's
kind of yeah, you have to know the person. We're
gonna bump bodies. And I'm tall, so you all open
my titties get out of here. My face has definitely
been in Ashley's titties before I feel like every time
I've hugged you, it's like a close call. You're you're
(14:53):
usually a cheek to the tit yeh know what it is.
I don't want to make you and don't that's not
oh man. I do think the whole hug hug like
when you greet people. I just saw you yesterday. I'm
hugging again like it's a little exhausting time. And COVID
(15:14):
thankfully has changed that. I'm sorry, COVID. I don't even
do hands out right away, right, I don't even do that.
I stay away. I'm like, oh, hey, good to see you.
I tapped open my mask and realized when you didn't
see it. Well. Speaking of things that we wanted to do, uh,
(15:37):
that we didn't think we could. Um, I am now
a non hugger. Um. That is a new dream of mine.
But we all have something that we wanted and didn't
think could happen, or worse, were discouraged from trying to
do so. The question is how do we start living
for us and chase the thing that we want most
that makes us come alive. From a career and entertainment
(15:58):
to moving abroad odd, what are the tools that we
can equip ourselves with to say fuck the haters and
do what we want. But before we jump into it, y'all, first,
a quick little brisky welcome back, y'all. It's time for
(16:21):
us to get into this main conversation, so let's do it.
How did you guys identify your your dreams or your purpose?
I feel like for me, it was sort of like
a passion I had as a child. And also, you know,
I had supported my family in regards to like wanting
to sign up for dance classes and acting classes and
(16:44):
doing all of that in Baltimore was great, but I
always knew I wanted to really pursue it. So I
don't know if I ever had like that lightbulb moment um.
I feel like it was something that, you know, like
I feel like something to me like forever, like you've
just like you kind of have the dream scenario that
(17:05):
people want where they're like I've known since I was four,
I can't out tap dancing, you know, like the womb.
I think that people get stuck on that. Like if
I didn't know when I was four, then I know
how I know? You know, then it's not my purpose,
you know, or like you have the notion and then
it's silenced. Like most people like you were encouraged and
(17:26):
supported to continue pursuing that innate thing that you had.
But I also feel like there's a difference even with
my dreams and like purpose, Like I do find like
I do want part of my mission in life to
leave a legacy and inspire other women you know, like
me to follow their dreams and and feel the stream
(17:47):
to do that. But also, I mean, some of my
purpose in this life is to enjoy it, so you
know what I mean. Like I was literally glaring Cheryl
Crow's all I want to do right before work recording.
I was like, all I want to do is have
some I doe resonate with that. Just go on Santa
(18:08):
mon a couple of art that's like what I know
to be. Like that's where I was introduced to Santa
on a couple of art. Um it's really long, but
Cheryl doesn't tell you that in the song. She does not.
I feel like for me, it has been like as
I acquire skills, I realized, like, oh, you really like
(18:28):
like when I was in school and I really liked
reading and writing, I knew that I wanted to be
a writer, So I thought that was my purpose, and
then as I found comedy, I was like, oh, but
you like making people laugh, so add that to your
you know, your purpose of writing comedy and then you
know performing. So I think, like, I just like to
acquire skills, what makes me feel in the flow, what
makes me feel like I am doing good? Uh? And
(18:54):
then I just added to my bag of this probably
is part of your purpose and every now and then
I'll put the pieces to other than I'm like, okay,
so are you supposed to create ideas and you're supposed
to evoke thought? Okay, all right, you want to be
a service because you're a nurtur rock. So I think
acquiring skills, making sure you're keeping note of what those
things are and you know, pulling them out every now
(19:16):
and then seeing how they fit together. I think that's
really sound. Similarly, I feel like I had it was
a different path, Like I was on a path to
do something that I felt would make my family proud. I,
like you, Scireb was in the arts since I was little,
but it just I didn't have the like, this is
(19:37):
a realistic career path for you side of it. So
I kind of like put that on the wayside and
was like politics is where I can you know, kind
of combine speech and like all of those kind of
things with like doing good in the world, which is
something that is still like one of my core values.
And you know, the hill was not what it's cracked
(19:58):
up to be. I learned after four years there that,
like I would on the other side, I made people
laugh and people would like tell me I'm funny and
all of these things, and I was like, well, if
I'm going to move to l A to try to
do anything, I might as well try people have said,
like I didn't believe it for myself at the time yet,
(20:18):
but like people have said, you're funny. So audition at
the Groundlings. That's where my Rudolph and Kristen Wig went
and that was probably the first indicator of like auditioning
and not having to take classes or whatever. Um was
the first thing of like validation towards me as an entertainer.
And I kind of just kept following what I wanted, Yeah,
(20:41):
like what I love to do and when I stupid
ship that I do when we hang out something, you know,
like those are the things that are like innate to me,
and like instead of being like that's not realistic, like
figuring out how to make those things real um or
like capitalize on the talent that I have and not
like being shying away from it, which yeah, I did
(21:01):
that for a long time. I remember being like in uh,
like my first poem, my first play were both in
the eighth grade, and I knew I really loved acting.
I really loved poetry or writing. But like I got
to high school and growing up in l A, everybody's
an entertainment. So I was like, that's not realistic. And
what you were saying mom me, like I literally was
(21:22):
like that's not realistic. And I was like, I'm going
to be a veterinarian because I love animals and like
going down that path and like we're in turning out
of that hospital, interning at like labental Metal Medicine Resource
Center at City of Hope. I was just like I'm
not trying to be in nobody's lab or like put
dogs down. Just petting puppies all day. I was just
(21:46):
puppies and I was having a great time. And then
I was like, oh that that animal is dead now,
Oh no, sorry guys, But like I definitely I feel
like I scourged myself early on, but it was also
something that kept coming back up. I went to acting school,
but I didn't fully know. I didn't do comedy then.
(22:08):
And then I got into improv and I was like, oh,
this is fun. This feels like it's taking a little
pressure off of the seriousness of trying to have a
career in an industry that is very hard to have
a career. And and it also led to me pushing
myself in areas like I took a writing class at AMDELL,
but I didn't push myself as hard, Like I just
started sort of like tumble weeded into like more things
(22:29):
in this field, but like I definitely expanded over time
and picked up skills like, oh, this is the third
web series that you've produced and directed and written. Maybe
you should try to do more of that, you know
what I mean, Like one thing led to another. I
just like the idea of like, if it's bringing you joy,
lean into it, I mean. And also, don't go anythinking
(22:51):
you're just about to be rich and famous, because Lord knows.
I think, like a rule of thumb of chasing your
dreams is there are no time meants, there are no
age requirements. Or cut off to do anything. And I
think that's also a huge thing to understand, like we
don't know how things are going to fall into place. No,
(23:13):
it really is a marathon. It's not a sprint. Um.
I would say that to anybody. I know. Nipsey said it,
but I used to say it too before. So what
are some of the dreams that you guys are like
really proud of or that you've accomplished so far? Have
any of your wildest dreams come true? What did it
feel like? I haven't had wildest dreams because my dreams
(23:34):
of wild they but UM, I think like Mommy and
you were talking about, you know, being affirmed and going
to groundlings and you know, moving through that process. I
feel like I came to l A thinking I'm gonna
chase opportunity in sunshine, whatever that opportunity looks like, whatever
(23:56):
UH comes about. And I knew that I liked writing
and I can one improv class and I was just
like I got my first laugh and I was like,
maybe maybe I have talent and maybe I could like
homeless uh. And then going to u c B like
seeing people who I thought were really really funny and
believing that I could do it and then doing it
(24:19):
like and not and you know this feels like a brag,
but not just doing it, like I really just walked
up in there. I really just like did not finish
the program, did not know what a Harold team was
a year before, and I made it. And I was
just like, oh, like this was the universe saying you're
on your path, Like why you why are you playing
(24:40):
around like you don't know? You know when the universe
is speaking to you because you feel it. You feel
like it's like you were like beauty school drop out
that scene like literally ushered into on the stage, which
is like, hello, this is your space, Well come in. Yeah,
when you feel like I was in the pocket. So
(25:02):
I was really proud of just moving across the country
and deciding to bet on myself and feeling affirmed in
oh girl, good bet. Yeah. I feel like those little
moments are like to be celebrated, you know, or like
big moments, but like to be like when you're feeling
something I was. I wasn't in this clubhouse the other
(25:23):
day and they were talking about like savoring, savoring that
moment of like I've accomplished this thing and it's happening,
and I'm so like I live for those moments of like, yes,
this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I remember
when we I think when we got our Comedy Central
deal and we were with Lucia and Paul, who are
(25:44):
like EPs of our show and everything, um shout out
to broad City, and Paul was like, you have to say,
like I don't know if he used the word savor,
but he was like, you need to celebrate every yes
on your pitch doc that you just center like yeah,
no notes, like celebrate all those little steps because how
(26:05):
hard we work to even get to the place, you know,
and you don't want to be like so focused on
the work that you're not looking up like oh I
didn't think I would be here someday and I'm standing here,
I think, yeah, definitely, just sitting in that gratitude and
like try to remember like the first time something happened,
like the first co star or small rollout booked was
(26:28):
The Gambler, and I remember like being that giddy girl
on set asking Mark Warburg for a picture and being
like I mean, like you know what I mean, Like
I remember just being so overjoyed and like then you know,
other things happened and you feel that joy. But then
like if you remember that spark of like when you
got that one little step and celebrate all the winds
(26:49):
with that level of gratitude, it just makes them so
much better because I mean, and of course you can't
like try to duplicate the level of joy you had
for your first job, but like I do highly recommend
and agree with you guys in regards to celebrating sell
it really sitting in the joy and savoring it. Yeah,
(27:09):
I feel like it's so especially in l A. Everyone
not everyone, but I run into a lot of people
who are doing cool ship and just like slipping about it,
don't care, don't want to be doing it, And it's
like make room for someone who would have so much
fun doing this ship, Like if you can't be like yo,
I was on set today and I wrote this thing,
and it was like why are you? You know? I
(27:30):
felt that way like in the first sketch that I wrote,
because I really was like I'm just a poet and
I'm just an actor, and like taking a sketch class
at UCB and writing that first sketch, I was like,
maybe I can write other in other mediums and like
I was just like, like seeing it put up on stage,
(27:50):
I was like, Yo, this is crazy. And you know what,
I remember this moment guys we had a black Girl
Magic show and someone from BT came I think it
was b Et and then afterwards we went to what
was that club or the bar party white Girl a
girl at the White Horse. Yes, I just remember like
(28:11):
feeling so giddy because I was like, Yo, like we
crushed it. We're doing the thing, like we're on our
fucking way, like we're doing it. Yeah. And also I
think that also has to lean into like it's not
complacent to still have joy even if you aren't fully
at where you're trying to be, Like just because the
journey is not complete, there's no completion in my mind,
(28:32):
like I mean death. That's then like why not have
joy on every step rather than like when I really
sell that thing and when I really get that thing.
And you just literally spoke life into me there, sister Pike,
thank you for the word, because yeah, last year was
(28:54):
really good in a crazy way career wise, and I
got opportunities to pitch shows and write my own shows
and all that, and I feel like I'm really afraid
of anyone knowing any of that because it's not on
the error yet. It's like finding a balance for me
between what to share and what to not. But yeah,
(29:16):
I I pitched a show and it might become a
show like that feels great, um and Sony basically optioned it.
So now I just need to find the home for it. Yeah, girl,
appreciate you all. But again that's I only think that's
possible because which kind of brings us to our next
(29:39):
point of like, what are setbacks you've experienced along the way?
And I know that I've told you guys about this
speech that Ava Duverney gave. It was her film Independent
address in if you google it, it's on there. And
when I listened to that, that just changed my whole
perspective of like you say you want X y Z,
how do you you make it happen? Like what are
(30:02):
the actionable steps instead of all the thoughts? And then
you see what other people are doing and compare yourself
and well, like I used to spend a lot of
time doing that instead of like sitting down and writing
the thing, you know, And I think that was one
of my biggest blocks on my journey is like caring
too much about the outside instead of like who I
(30:23):
am at my core and what I'm here for. Did
she say anything about the code of desperation and the
code of desperation speech? Do you much? That stuck with
me too? Oh? Really? That, Like I literally remember the
like the only thing that I remember from that film
Independent speech was her talking about this code of desperation.
And I definitely in terms of setbacks, like self doubt
(30:47):
is the biggest one for me because I am like
often like oh I want you know that people to
like approve it, and it's like, it's not about what
other people are doing, Like it's not about comparing yourself
to other folks about any and else fully understanding like
where you're at, because someone somewhere is going to resonate,
but regardless, like being happy with the stuff that you
(31:08):
have to produce, the stories that you're called to tell,
the things that you're called to do, like that only
you can do. And I think when you get to
that space of knowing like this is what I'm here
to do, and I feel real good and comfortable in
the pursuit of what I need to do and listening
and trust in yourself, that code of desperation is not
(31:29):
there anymore, you know what I mean. It's like knowing
that I have value. I bring value to this earth,
to this planet, to the people in my community, you know.
And I love that. She says you can smell it,
like not literally, but figure you can smell it usky
(31:49):
like it's so true because you want it so bad,
and you're like, oh, I'm gonna like I can fit
into this box. Look, look, I can fit in this box.
And it's like, you got your own shoot that you
gotta focus on. And when you're in that, when you're
in your fucking lane, that's your lane. No one else
can touch it. I was gonna prompt if you don't mind,
(32:09):
I just think as an actress, the things that you've
been through, Shakira have been really interesting too. Yeah, you know,
I mean setbacks. I don't even know if these are setbacks,
more so like lessons in patients, because lord knows, I've
been pinned in at a chemistry read or I mean,
I shoot, I had a table read, y'all. I think
(32:30):
I told you all with Britney Snow and like I
was that close at the table read and then they're like,
guess what we're cutting your role, you know. I mean
I booked jobs and I gotta call it six and
a am like, oh, actually we cut the role last night,
so don't show up to set. Like in this industry,
sag actors book three on average of their jobs. So
(32:51):
out of a hundred jobs, you book three. That's just
a random stat Some people you know be auditioned and
booked seven to ten you know, up for them. Um.
So just like even knowing that it's a numbers game
in that way, I mean, I think, if anything, it's
humbled me and calmed me um and a very long
(33:15):
and tedious way that I wish it hasn't had you.
But you know, I do think every setback is just
like a grounding moment where you're like all right, and
it it does break your heart. Sometimes I'm not even
gonna lie, Like there have been jobs where I'm like,
oh I really want this, I would you know, how
(33:35):
do you manifest this? How do I figure out? You know,
how could I make this happen? But you know it's
right for you. It's right for you. And I do
feel like I've had wonderful wins, like all day and
the night was you know, my biggest role so so far,
and that was a great opportunity to like really act
and really dig into a character and like, you know,
(33:55):
do what I've been doing, and and you know, these
little five five for rooms with these casts directed. You know.
I like what you said about setbacks being grounding moments,
and I think some of my biggest setbacks have been
just like not following my instinct. I have really good instincts,
(34:17):
but one of my superpowers is also logic, and they
fight against each other because you can't explain instinct. It's
a feeling. It's a knowing without knowing. And my instinct
will say, hey, bit, you don't like this ship, don't
do this no more, you know, and they're saying, well, hey,
everyone really likes this. And I'm specifically thinking about being
(34:38):
on that UCB team. I wanted to make it just
to stroke my ego and say I made it. And
then when it was come time to be a part
of the team, I was like, I don't really want
to do this part, but everyone loves this position. I
should really enjoy this. And so instead of listening to myself,
I forced myself to be a part of this thing
for two years and it was. You know, I learned things,
and you know it's part of my journey that I
(35:00):
still take lessons from. But when I did let go
of it, I made room for other things that were
better for me, you know. And instead of being like, oh,
I should have done it sooner, I think about, well,
look at your instinct was right, so you might want
to trust it next time when it tells you something's
off or you know, this energy ain't right, whatever it is,
(35:24):
trusting my instincts. Yeah, and you have really good instincts, Ash.
I do feel like you're very connected in that way.
I mean, after you told us that story about walking
out and finding that wallet, I said, this girl know
how to made a festival. It was I was my
my first apartment. I was working hard. I had like
two jobs, but I wasn't making rent. And I was
(35:44):
just like I need money. I just need a few
more dollars. I need a few more dollars. And I
was walking from my job and there was a wallet
that you said. You were like, I'm I'm probably gonna
find a wallet. I literally when I saw it, I said, like,
I really else it. And then I can't tell you
one because I was like that's wrong to take this
while but literally the universe blotted it in front of
(36:04):
me for his reason. But wow, that is manifesting. I
should have thought bigger. So what tools do you guys
use to manifest your dreams? When I think about like
how we've gotten here, the idea of like manifestation is
so I'd say it was like a game changer for
(36:25):
me saying the affirmation, writing down explicitly, this is the
thing I want. Actually, I love that You're like, I
should have dreamed bigger, like or I should have affirmed
something more like you know, I definitely feel like this
podcast is an example of that, like putting I remember
years ago putting a picture of us. Actually I have
the framed photo Mommy that you gave us with our
(36:47):
little sticker card in it of like this first photo
shoot of us. But I put this picture on our
vision board right next to a picture of Shonda Rhymes
underneath the caption like mentor and granted we have yet
to meet Shanonda, we will we will, right right, um,
But like this, I definitely see it as like a
(37:08):
manifestation of like wanting to be in her orbit somehow.
And then this podcast, you know, what I mean, and
it's I see it like with all the other facets
of my life. Of like you write it down, you
say it out loud, you release it, you do a
vision board. But the writing it down and like being
very clear about the thing that you want and in
(37:31):
what way, and then the universe provides. And I'm like,
the clearness is the ship that messes me because I'd
be trying to be so clear that it is goddamn
eight years long, you know, definitely for me in terms
of like obviously I have spiritually think about the thing
and like kind of like envision how I want things
(37:53):
to be and then try to write actionable steps to
making certain things happen, Like what I can control. I
can't control my dream man who's on his way. I
don't know when he's going to get here, But I
can't control like making sure I've finished this act of
a script that I am writing, or like sitting down
and focusing instead of like taking a week to do
(38:15):
something that would only take me an hour if I
just like sit down and do it. So I think
it's a combination of being realistic with yourself about your
abilities um and then diving into that what you were
saying about like taking a step towards your dreams is
like so critical. Like once you see the thing that
(38:36):
you want, it's like, okay, let me like now that
I have that vision, Like I feel like my mom
always said, like you take a step, the universe takes
a step with you, you know, Like, uh, that action,
that thing that you put forward to make your vision
come true, um, moves you closer and closer. Yeah. I
think also one of the steps that take is like
I feel like I'm co creating with the universe and
(39:01):
um God and all of the energy I feel. But
I'm also like surrendering to the fact that there are
a lot of things out of my control. So I
can put all this out there, but I also have
to just be patient and surrender to the process of it. Uh.
And I do agree, like specificity is important, but um
sometimes you know, it's so funny. When I got all
(39:23):
Day to night, I was up for Aquafina and I
had just had a producer session with Flucia, and I
wanted that so bad, and then I find out that
the black girl that they had in it turned into
a guest star, and then she wasn't serious regular anymore,
and it went to a girl who I know who's been,
you know, out here hustling. But also that was like
a very telling thing, like I wanted something too, like
(39:44):
I was clinging to it that I couldn't let it
just happen. I was so like I was putting energy
I don't know, like too heavily on a thing, like
choking the life out of the thing that you want.
It's like the difference between getting it and not getting it,
you know, Like I feel like there's that level of
like I believe this thing is going to happen, and
(40:05):
I said it, and now I gotta trust the process.
It seems like when we force versus when we live
with ease, Like ease is like everything we've been talking
about what can you control versus what you can't. You
can try to grind something down that it's like it
(40:25):
takes all every blood, sweat and tear, like you know,
versus the things that flow in time when you put
your energy towards something. That's interesting that you're talking about ease,
because I've been learning about the brain recently, and just
like your mind, what's constantly running for most people, it's
supposed to be empty it's supposed to be the chamber
(40:49):
for your heart to receive a message, for your your
heart to send your mind a message and for you
to receive it, for you to to take in the
genius at the universe is giving you and receive it,
and not for you to try to be manifest in
some thoughts Like though, that's not what your mind is for.
If you are going to use your mind in this
way where you have constant thoughts, something that I've been
learning about is using it in the positive. She care
(41:13):
you always talk about the same thoughts that you think
about all the time, Like you gotta be intentional about
what those thoughts are. So you always find yourself going
somewhere to a place maybe that's negative that you don't like.
You got to recreate that thought and put it into
where do you want to see yourself? What is the
life that you wanna have live there in your mind?
(41:34):
So like when I go somewhere negative, I started singing
a song bit you won't a beat, You got my
neat Like I really just trying to make my mind
and take this good stuff quite literally. That like that
choice which when you hear it's a choice to be
happy blah blah blah like it in theory, that's like,
what are you talking about? But no, there are a
(41:55):
lot of negative forces in this world and they're easier
to take over you than like the positive ones. We
remember things that hurt more than the most amazing moments,
you know, and it's almost glorified. Yeah, be kind of
a nasty bit right like that, aude. Yeah, the positive
affirmation part of like this is the thing that I want.
(42:18):
Like it's easy to be like, man, I'm not trying
to do this thing or that or like, but being
like this is the thing in a positive way. Yeah.
I was just gonna say, I think it's a choice
in a practice. Yeah, it's not easy, like our subconscious
it's our thoughts, and it's so easy to that's strong.
You'll be talking about that fight you about to head,
(42:39):
like I'm a man, I should have told her, And
then you're like, why am I thinking about this? It's
not paying no rent, it's taking up a ton of
space in my head. So like it's and you get
an energy to whatever you're thinking about if you don't
want it to happen. Something thinking about and you know,
one thing that stuck with me I think Abraham Hicks
said it is like, stop fighting for your limitations. It's
(43:01):
so that's Oh I heard that on Elizabeth Gilbert. She
said that, oh, maybe you argue for your limitations, you
keep them so that is not cute. And if I know,
I'm just like hearing it. And but I can't do
it because so and so and so and so. So. Yeah,
(43:21):
you can't. You can't actually right like and you said
the thing you cannot do it can't. It's not in
a man's vocabulary. Why because when you say can't, you
what is that from? Loving basketball? Sorry, Gina, So we
are there things along the way, like do you feel
(43:44):
like you've sacrificed anything in the pursuit of your dreams? Hell, yeah, happiness,
I'm just kidding, but actually no, I'm not. I think
moving to l A is like I am not near
my core people that have soul connections with and that
was a struggle for definitely the first eight of my
(44:07):
nine years there. Um. But yeah, you trying to trying
to like stay grounded and true to who I am
as a person around a lot of different energies that
might not have the same intentions as me. That was
like people who don't know you from before exactly or not,
don't understand who you are as a person, like could
(44:29):
misinterpret what you say because they don't know that you're
coming from a good place always at least I am, um,
And that was really difficult for me, Um, and a
sacrifice of like being away from just a actual presence
of a body that I know knows me and loves me.
When you moved to l A, did you know it
(44:50):
was going to be that hard. I was really afraid
of l A for a long time until it was demystified,
and then it like eased into being hard. Like I
was very idealistic at first, and like, oh, this isn't
so bad. I got in groundlings, this is easy like
type of vibe. But then you know, you start working
(45:10):
and you start collaborating, and then you run into people
with other agendas and like that. I had to learn,
like just because you want something doesn't mean everybody else
wants that, or like because you see something a certain
way doesn't mean, like my mom says, everybody didn't grow
up in your house. Like that was a lesson I
had to learn. So No, I definitely didn't think it
(45:31):
would be as toxic as it is, or understand the
way that it was toxic because it's very specific. Yeah,
I guess I was thinking more like the like not
being close to those people you have soul connections too,
because I didn't realize how tough it was going to
be for me to not be with my family like
(45:52):
I had already moved away, like I was moved. I
was two hours away, So it felt like how why
would l A be that different? But it was like
I didn't know, you know, I always joke I didn't
know where the hairstore was. That was a big problem
for me, Like I do my hair often. It's a
part of how I get out feelings and how I distressed.
And I couldn't find anything, and it was just like,
what the fund did I come here? I don't know
(46:13):
where anything and I don't have any I was. I
was on the couch for five months, like until I
found comedy and I was like, oh, you got purpose.
You're supposed to be here, you know, there's reason. But man,
that first five months of sacrificing comfort, I think that's
the biggest comfort of thing, is that sacrificed his comfort
moving into my car, moving you know, all that I think, Yeah,
(46:36):
like moving here, Uh, you're gonna miss holidays, You're gonna
miss family trips. I mean there are things. I don't
have a ton of regrets, but I do know there
was a family trip that I wish I had risks
and spent money on because like it was the last
one with a relative. Like there are things that you
you got to decide because on top of coming out
here to pursue your dreams, unless you come for money,
(46:58):
you don't have no money. So was like I couldn't
go home for Christmas one year. I had a whole
mental breakdown. When I first moved to l A, I
didn't have my car, so I had to like save
up enough money to get it shipped here. So I
was walking in l A. Ain't no city to walk in.
If you ever move, let me tell you right now,
which is the longest block? Right? I was walking and
(47:18):
riding a bike, and I lived up a hill, so
I would always have to push the bike up the hill.
And it's just only because she said she was walking
and riding the bike. Your kids and we thing, have
you ever tried to bike up for him? That is impossible.
That is impossible, And then I like I had a
living room. We had a two bedroom and two girls
(47:39):
share one room, one girl shared another room, and I
had the living room space. I had no privacy, I mean.
And granted I moved out here at nineteen, so being
broke at that age it is, it's usually normal. But
it was just like, I'm also far as hell for
my family. Like before, I used to just go home
and I could my mom could do my hair. My
we've was so bad, y'all. My we've would get mad
(47:59):
at in chunks because it was in my I couldn't
afford to like do anything, And I remember being like,
why did I move here? For me? It was like
the poverty part I didn't realize, like or maybe I mean,
it's just like I was broke for a very very,
(48:23):
very very long time, and it was like I can
either take a job like a desk job or some
sort of survival job that will pay the bills and
will allow for me to go to brunch and hang
out with friends and do the things that they're doing.
And I do feel really, you know, grateful, blessed, lucky
that my family was here and most of my friends,
(48:45):
like I had a really I have a very strong
support system here, you know, and l A is home,
so it's not the same sort of I guess isolation.
But everyone else, like I specifically think about like care,
you're talking about rips, You're talking about brunches, like people
gathering and I'm like, oh, I'll have the water, Like no,
(49:06):
I'm gonna I'm gonna pass because I can't afford it,
you know, like or being like how am I gonna
pay rent? Like how am I going to get by?
How am I going to feed myself? But you know
you do have to work at those I mean I did.
I worked as a surfer for eight years, so you know,
I was a hostess and a slave and a nanny.
(49:28):
I did it all. I was hired as an assistant
and turned into a nanny, childcare giver. Like it's just
it's just like but the goal was always in the
in then the horizon. M Yeah, that's part of the sacrifice.
I feel like, you know, you gotta do that. That work.
(49:49):
You don't like with them kids fucking what do you
call them patrons? Those customers or the rest? You don't
have customers. We have guests start home and people come
in there angry, Okay, last you knowing now about the journey.
What you know? If you could go back in time
(50:11):
and tell your former self anything, what would you say,
you got it? Boom, that's it. I would say, you
got it. Boost stop doubting yourself. M hm. Similarly, trust
your gut girl is going to lead you the right
way every time. Y'all know. I have a quote Alice
(50:36):
Walker said in the color Purple. She said, I think
it pisses God off if you walk by the color
purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it. What
to do when it piste off? I asked, Oh, it
makes something else. People think pleasing God is all God
care about, but any fool living in the world can
see it always trying to please us back. And like
(50:58):
I think I would tell myself, like, you are possible,
You can do the ship that you want to do.
Like you don't have to like conform into other people's
visions for you, Like God wants you to be joyful,
God like spirit universe. Like you're here to enjoy this
life and it's okay to do that and to notice
the small things along the way. Yes, I would just
(51:20):
say enjoy the process. Um, don't stress so much and
do to work continue. I mean I feel like I
do to do to work. But you know, to younger self, like, hey,
it's not exactly how you think you It's not gonna
take a year to come out here become a serious regular.
It's what I thought, was he But also I really did,
(51:46):
I really did. I finished school. I was like, oh, yeah,
I'm gonna be ay. I mean, you know that might
have also had a hand in where you are today.
So yeah, no, I don't regret anything. I do feel
like everything is at me here and I love where
I am, and I love the skin I'm in, and
also loving knowing yourself along the way. I do feel
like you can get out here and get sucked up,
(52:08):
and even in regards to body, what's he's supposed to
look like on camera and all of that bull crap,
And it used to take up way too much space
in my mind, Like, who gives a damn? You know,
y'alls that are in for you are gonna be for
you truly. Okay, So to all y'all out there, who
out there wanting to chase your dreams, chase the run fast.
(52:32):
Somebody is chasing you. Run like slow, Joe with style
and great that was actually a train. But I can,
I think I can. Okay, okay, we believe in you, y'all.
Go ahead and get what you want. You only got
this one life only unless you relieve in reincarnation, you know,
(52:57):
get to the other side and then it's a new journey.
All right, y'all, it's time for us to give some advice.
But first we're going to take a break. Welcome back.
(53:17):
It's time for us to give a listener some advice. MOMMYA,
what do you have for us? All right? Today's letter reads,
Dear O D do you believe in ghosts? I feel
like there's a presence in my house and I can't
seem to shake it. I've burned some stage and played
Janet I goes trigger protection mantra. But what should I
(53:40):
do next? The ghost? And pay and rent? And my
electricity bill is too damn high to be keeping these
lights on all night every night? Help signed Casper, you
better move on. UM, that's territory. Call Leslie Jones, um,
(54:04):
Kate McKinnon if you can get her. I mean, I
think you should contact somebody who deals with that kind
of stuff. Um, if you truly feel because ghost saying
something to play with call on Jesus son of Yeah,
I will say yes, I believe in ghosts though ghost yeah,
(54:26):
I mean, okay, here's some uh you know, when I
first moved to my apartment, we had the discussion that
maybe I had to go. So I got some black tormline.
It is a protection and good energy. Crystal supposed to
just like get out any spears that you don't want,
So I got some of that. Also, you can burn
that sage girl. What is Janet I goes trigger protection mantra.
(54:49):
I don't get that. It's a song. It's a soundbath
style song with her like come dwn that comes to you,
that sounds beautiful, Relax like I don't like people telling
me what to do. Yeah, I think what actually said,
(55:10):
like find someone who can who can help you with that,
like maybe helping you cleanse the space or you know,
do some say some prayers like you call on the ancestors,
call on God. Also, keeping the lights on ain't really
gonna do nothing. If the ghost want to get you,
he gets you in the dark or the light, it's real.
(55:31):
In fact, you're probably helping him see you better. Also,
they might not want anything bad. I mean, how you
know somebody told me to do a deep meditation and
ask them directly what do you want? But that's a
real connection ship. If you're ready to be confronted by
that goes. I didn't hear someone say you just have
to say there are any dark spirits here, I want
(55:53):
you to leave, something like vampires like that. But who
knows what's real and what's not. In that case, I
haven't had to eradicate a ghost. Yeah, from my experience,
I put flowers out on my front. That was one
thing I was told to do. I was told that
the stage wasn't working quite well. Then I got the
(56:15):
black tormeline? And then who came and read your house?
Nobody that somebody I used to hang out with got
a reading, and the they're reading the person described my
house and was like, so, yeah, you have a friend
who's been burning stage to try to get rid of
a ghost she has with floors in a gray door.
And the friend was like, I know exactly who you're
(56:37):
talking about, and then I know, and then and they
she the person she talked to, recommended I put some
fresh flowers out for them because they want like and sorry,
I feel like there's gone for the most part. Like
when I first came in, I was like, it's eerie
here and I'm not gonna lie. A man did kill now,
(56:59):
he didn't kill him off. He died in this house.
He um had a blood clot thing happened, and hay
to make it. But yes, I would just recommend, you know,
doing some of that woo woo stuff and praying um
and asking the spirit to leave. Just talking to my
mom said this thing that even applied for the dream thing.
But she was like, my energy is my energy. Your
(57:21):
energy is your energy. So like whatever spirit, move on, Martinez,
get the step and gohostbusters number is one eight hundred
goes gone them and they will take care of this
d And you repeat the number, one eight hundred goost gone.
(57:42):
That's g h O s TM gone gone. Okay, thank you,
make sure you remember that go stomp. We appreciate y'all
tuning in. Remember to subscribe. If you want to show
us some love, you can rate and review this podcast
five stars only baby, and of course you can always
(58:02):
come kiki with us on our social media pages on Instagram,
We're at Obama's other Daughters on Twitter We're at O
D Improv and on Facebook, we're at Obama's Other Daughters.
If you need some advice, like Casper, you better move
on here. You know where to find us. Send your
letters to O O D Podcast at gmail dot com.
(58:24):
Are we gonna help you out? We can't wait to
see you next week. You guys, talk to you later. Bye.
You Down is a production of Shawnda land Audio and
partnership with I heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shawnda
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