June 27, 2023 • 16 mins
A librarian day dreams on the job and begins to blur the lines of fantasy and reality.
Writer & Director - Gia Ruiz
Cast:
Gia Ruiz
Kathleen Leary
Andrew Lewis
Tony D’Amato
Jennifer Ullrich
Karis Pickett
Paul Forsyth
Creator & Showrunner - James Kim
Executive Producer - Taylor Chicoine
Editor & Producer - Cameron Kell
Head of Post & Sound Designer - Diego Perez
Sound Mixer - Daniel Martinez
Photographer - Julian Park
Score - Robert Garrova & Ryo Baum
Artwork - Tony D’Amato
Typography - Ben Tousley
Interviewer - Shaneisha Martin
Thank you to our sponsors at Sennheiser.
You Feeling This is a production of iHeartRadio and Overtones Media. Find out more at http://www.youfeelingthis.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You feeling. This is our production of I Heart Ladio
and All Button's Media.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
The Night We Met by Trudy Blue, Chapter one. It
wasn't even that he was a good kisser. I mean
he was, okay. It wasn't his his lies or his swagger.
There was just something about him, something that made her
defy all her rules about dating about men.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Oh my god, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
That's so cross swatched, lady?
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Why do you look so flustered?
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (00:58):
What's in the gift bag?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Is it from you? Shouldn't have No, it's for the
guy masturbating outside.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
That's funny. Wait are you serious?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Totally? And I had to walk past him I get
through the door.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Oh whoof that is so gross?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
That is literally what I said. Can a girl just
get in her steps?
Speaker 7 (01:15):
Listen to her cheesy romance novel audiobook without a guy
masturbating getting in the way?
Speaker 5 (01:19):
Not in Santa Monica? Okay, but seriously, what's in the bag?
And is it for me?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
No? Sorry, not this time. It's for my parents anniversary
to night.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well, what number is it?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Thirty five?
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Thirty five years? My longest relationship is with Caddy Bates.
We're two years and going strong. Our love is real.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
That is the greatest cat name of all time.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I agree it is. So where did your parents meet?
I'm always fascinated by how people met in the olden
times before hinge and tinder, Like have you thought about that?
Like how people had to talk to each other in person?
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Seriously, I get sweaty just thinking about making a dentist
appointment over the phone.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Ask for my parents.
Speaker 7 (01:58):
They met at a nightclub in Panama when they were twenty,
which sounds catchy.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
But it wasn't Panama.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, it's like, it's pretty cute.
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Actually it's nineteen eighty eight Panama, Smoky Human Nightclub.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Well, how do you know it was smoking?
Speaker 7 (02:11):
Okay, I'm guessing obviously everyone smoked in the eighties and
it's Panama. Just let me paint this picture.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
My mom is this total homebody, but her Catholic school
friends made her go out one night and they end
up at this nightclub that's super popular with the army crowd.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And mom's a total betty.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
She's all hips and curly hair. And my dad and
army guy walks in and he sees my mom and
he makes a bet with his friend that he can
get my mom to dance with him, and his.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Friend takes the bet. My dad asked my mom to dance,
but she says no, dang yeah, my dad loses five bucks.
Speaker 7 (02:44):
They have a laugh about it, but I guess my
parents kept talking, and like six months later they get married.
Like that's amazing to meet someone and get this notion
that you could spend thirty years with them or a lifetime.
And it all happened because my mom took a chance.
And this guy who like walked through the door. Oh,
heads up, we're open, Like that could happen here.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
We have doors. Someone could walk through them.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
That changes everything, Gina, I guess it could happen here,
but it won't. I could tell you the next five
people to walk through that door, and I don't think
any of them are the love of your life. Oh
unless you count that older lady Zelda with the miss
Havisham vibes who always wants gothic romance novels and talks
about her dead husband. She might be the love of
my life. Watch, I bet it's crossword guy calling.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Bay City's public library reference desk. This is Gina, y
it's a crossword guy. See, okay, yeah, one second, let
me pull up the website.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Oh well, I need a seventeen down says a desert
concert with.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Ten.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh yeah, that's Coachella. What Coachella?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Oh how do you spell that?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
C O A C H E L la.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Oh I've heard of that.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Well that's the answer.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That guy he literally.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Just calls for crossword puzzle answers.
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Like, depending on the day, he'll call eight times, Like
on Monday when it's all easy, one two tops. By
Saturday when it gets all hard, we're at eight phone calls.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Like, isn't that cheating? What would will short say?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
But he's kind of sweet.
Speaker 7 (04:44):
He is kind of sweet. One time the answer was USB.
And try explaining what a USB is to an eighty
five year old who calls the reference desk for crossword
puzzle answers.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I don't have to try. My mom made me teach
her how to use her kindle last weekend. I am
not patient person. Gina who's next to the doors.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, it definitely won't be French guy. What a disaster
that was French guy.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
Yeah, I mean, I swear I am never going on
another date with a guy I meet here again.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I mean it this time.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
What can we do? The librarian finish is real? Wait
wait the French guy.
Speaker 7 (05:23):
Yeah, the cute one with the dimples who used to
come in like two years ago, and maybe he was flirty,
and I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I didn't see him for a while.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
And remember he would just come in and check out
study rooms and then he stopped and whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's a library, people come and go mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Go on, you've said nothing interesting yet, rude.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Anyway, he comes in last week after like two years,
all flushed, and I was like hey, and he was
like hi, with an accent, and I was like a
long time. And he proceeds to tell me that he
moved back to France a couple of years ago, but
he's in town for a little.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Bit, and he wrote down his Instagram.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
Handle and lingered for like twenty minutes, even though I
was helping other people.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Then he left and I followed him.
Speaker 7 (06:05):
On Instagram, of course I did, and he DMS me
and asked me to dinner, and like, is this how
it's done now? Anyway, I sort of jokingly ask if
he came to the library just to see me, but
also not joking because I'm petty and crave confirmation that
I'm maybe being obsessed over and adored, And he says yes.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And that he'd thought about me this whole time.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
So I say, I'll go to dinner with him because
I always thought he was cute and nice, and then
here he is telling me he's been thinking about me
for two years.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
So of course, of course I go to dinner.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
Okay, Yeah, that's a pretty good meat cute, exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Like my whole life.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
I've been training for a meat cute like this. But
then dinner was a disaster, and it turns out I
have nothing in common with a French guy who works
in it. He talked about his motorcycle and a motorcycle,
can you think of anything just more boring?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And his veganism, which is just so insufferable.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Aren't you a vegetarian?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, but I eat cheese. I am not inseperable.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Okay, if you say so.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Anyway, French guy was not the guy.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
And we will try again.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
We will try again. I just wanted to work out,
you know, I want that big love like my parents.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Thirty five years. That's pretty good. I don't even like
season two of most shows. Can you imagine season thirty
of a spouse Gina.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I cannot, but I'm not about that monogamy life like you.
Oh heads up?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Hi, how can I help you?
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Hi? Sorry to interrupt you. Okay, So this is uncomfortable.
I don't even know how to say this.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Sure, Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Someone in there is watching pornography, like really graphic pornography
on his computer.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Oh? Was he being disruptive or making noise?
Speaker 6 (08:00):
Is?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Did he have the volume turned up? Was there something
illegal taking place?
Speaker 6 (08:05):
No? No, nothing like that. It's inappropriate. He's just watching it.
Anyone walking by would see it.
Speaker 7 (08:12):
Oh okay, yeah, so I'm so sorry. The library has
a policy that people can access whatever information they want
while they're here, as long as they're not disturbing anyone.
It's this whole information is for everyone, sore that librarians
will die to protect.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
All we can really ask is like, just don't look
at a screen.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
This is just unacceptable.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I think I'm gonna have to find another library.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Sorry, someone in there is watching pornography.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
The one in here is always watching pornography.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Good luck finding a library without porn right?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Sorry?
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Hi again? Was there something else I could help you with?
Speaker 6 (08:53):
So?
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Now there's a donkey.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Okay, yeah, no, I'm coming. A librarian's job is never done.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
One minute you're googling crossword puzzle answers, the next year
explaining a library. It's complicated relationship with internet porn. It's true,
we're basically superheroes. The library is so sexual today.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I bet you.
Speaker 7 (09:21):
Didn't start today thinking you'd say the library is so
sexual today.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Who's walking through those doors next?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Well, I can tell you who I want to walk
through those doors next. And his name rhymes with Thris Jevins.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Pretty serious, really.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Oh totally Like he seems like he might read like
you put on a cozy turtleneck, get down with some
high fantasy and a cup of tea.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That doesn't sound even a little accurate.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Well we'll never know, right, what about you? You clearly
have someone in mind.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, I obviously wouldn't. Scoff at rhymes with Thris Jevins.
And if you'd asked me last week, I might have
said French guy. But I don't know all these like
failed attempts. I just like it felt so close with
French Guy.
Speaker 7 (10:04):
Like I could have that dirty dancing, crazy stupid you
complete me love, and like Is it so much to
ask that a guy shows up in an unflattering trench
coat and a boot?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Sorry, phone Bay City's public library reference desk. How can
I help you?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Well?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Hello, yes, hi, how can I help you?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You know, I was listening to the radio the other
day and they were talking about these like.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
African girls that like mean a few generator uh huh?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
And can you.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Find out if they have like a patent for that?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yet?
Speaker 5 (10:38):
You want to know if these African school girls have
a patent on their urine powered generator? Exactly could you
find that out for me?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Hmm?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Not seeing anything?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Doesn't say how they made it.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
At least you want to know how they made it. Well,
it says how they made it, but it's long and
I'm not going to read it over the phone. If
you have access to the internet, you can find it easily. Okay, Well,
I've got other people waiting. I was also wonderful.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Was that bob who lives in his mom's basement? You know,
it was God, what did he want today?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
I think he wanted to steal these Nigerian schoolgirls' invention.
Oh he's just the absolute worst. I can tell you that.
I hope he remains a telephone reference caller. I don't
know what I'd do if he walked through the door. Okay,
before we were so rudely interrupted by Bob, you were
talking about some nobody puts Gina in a corner kind
of stuff. Oh wait, you're not going to start talking
(11:39):
about that guy at the concert again, are you?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I know it's bananas.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
You were like a teenager or something, right, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Yeah, it was this concert I went to when I
was nineteen with some friends to the Diabyie punk bar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
My friends started talking with these other.
Speaker 7 (11:52):
Friends and eventually one of the guys and one of
dance is talking to us and we strike up this conversation.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
One of those dreamy, flirty, bullshit deep conversations you have
when you're nineteen, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I couldn't even drink.
Speaker 7 (12:03):
I just stood there, smoking cigarettes talking to this cresty
punk rock guy and he laughed it on my jokes,
and he got all my pop culture references, and he
liked my vintage and novelty eye Heart Big Newton's T shirt, and.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Like that was it.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
I had to go and he had to go, and
he said, maybe you'd write a song about me, And
I rolled my eyes and the internet was a baby,
so it's not like I could follow slash stock someone
and oh no, I.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Like, I think I had the guy like once a week.
It's nuts, right, Like, damn, Gina, that is so stupid.
Speaker 5 (12:31):
You're so cute. You've told me that story at least
ten times. I think your parents ruined you.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Don't everyone's parents ruined them like that guy probably drives
the minivan, has two kids and a wife. Feeling like
sometimes don't you think about some lost opportunity?
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Uh? Not really, I do think about this purple glittery
retainer I lost in middle school. It made me feel
like a beautiful purple unicorn goddess. Still not over it,
to be honest, that got away.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
Oh hey, hi, excuse me, could you please keep it down?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh dang, I'm so sorry. Certainly, Okay.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
How many times have patrons shushed you?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (13:13):
God, so many.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's equal parts embarrassing and hysterical. The librarian gets shushed.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Okay, you were saying about how some unwashed boy flirted
with you like ten years ago and you still think
about him. But what makes you think he'd walk through
the doors. I mean, we're in Santa Monica, an actor
in a comic book movie could definitely walk through those doors.
But some rando from ten years ago.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Okay, yeah, fair point.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
It's just that I thought I saw him, you know, like, well,
I know right, I was at the beach, standing near
the boardwalk, had just gotten coffee with a friend, and
he was riding his bike.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
It or it was like someone who looked a heck of.
Speaker 7 (13:50):
A lot like him, you know, like a little older,
more lines on his face, definitely upped his hygiene game.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I could have sworn it was him. We made eye contact.
Seem like maybe he recognized me too, Or.
Speaker 7 (14:02):
I need to stop listening to romance novels and settle
for a motorcycle riding vegan.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
No, No, that's like legit. Maybe. I mean, either way,
it sounds like, at least there's a guy in a
five mile radius of here that you're attracted to. I
think it might be too late for you to take
up dystopian sci fi and boring men at this point.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Well, if nothing else, I'm sure there's at least ten
guys in the library right now with that librarian fetish
that would happily pretend to be an unwashed punk rocker
from your youth for a chance with a cute librarian. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Maybe, Oh he's new.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
What do you think he's looking for books on herpatology?
One time a guy asked me for books on herpetology,
and I totally pretended like I knew what he was
talking about, but I had to.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Give it a na. Sorry. Could you take my parents.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
Gift to my cubicle? I keep me to take it
back there for safekeeping. I'll help this guy. I'll let
you know if he's into herpetology or what.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I okay, sure thing, I need to pee anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Hi there, long time, no see Hi? Yeah, it's it's
been a minute. Can I help you find something? The
(15:32):
Librarian was written and directed by me Gio Ruis.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
I also played the role of Gina. Kathleen Leary was Anna.
Jan Ulrich was the audiobook narrator. Andrew Lewis was man
in Patron number two, Tony Diomatto was Crossroad Guy. Kara's
Picket was Patron one. Paul Forsyth was Patron three. A
special thanks to Kris for lending us her house for
the day. The editor and producer is Cameron cal Onset.
(15:55):
Sound mixer is Daniel Martinez. Sound designer and head of
post production is Diego for US, creator and showrunner is
James Kim. On set photographer is Julian Park. Score by
Robert Goarova and Ryobaum you Feel In. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and Overtones Media. For more podcasts from
rheart Radio, check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
You feeling. This is our production of I Heart Ladio
and All Button's Media.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
The Night We Met by Trudy Blue, Chapter one. It
wasn't even that he was a good kisser. I mean
he was, okay. It wasn't his his lies or his swagger.
There was just something about him, something that made her
defy all her rules about dating about men.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Oh my god, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
That's so cross swatched, lady?
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Why do you look so flustered?
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (00:58):
What's in the gift bag?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Is it from you? Shouldn't have No, it's for the
guy masturbating outside.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
That's funny. Wait are you serious?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Totally? And I had to walk past him I get
through the door.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Oh whoof that is so gross?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
That is literally what I said. Can a girl just
get in her steps?
Speaker 7 (01:15):
Listen to her cheesy romance novel audiobook without a guy
masturbating getting in the way?
Speaker 5 (01:19):
Not in Santa Monica? Okay, but seriously, what's in the bag?
And is it for me?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
No? Sorry, not this time. It's for my parents anniversary
to night.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well, what number is it?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Thirty five?
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Thirty five years? My longest relationship is with Caddy Bates.
We're two years and going strong. Our love is real.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
That is the greatest cat name of all time.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I agree it is. So where did your parents meet?
I'm always fascinated by how people met in the olden
times before hinge and tinder, Like have you thought about that?
Like how people had to talk to each other in person?
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Seriously, I get sweaty just thinking about making a dentist
appointment over the phone.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Ask for my parents.
Speaker 7 (01:58):
They met at a nightclub in Panama when they were twenty,
which sounds catchy.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
But it wasn't Panama.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, it's like, it's pretty cute.
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Actually it's nineteen eighty eight Panama, Smoky Human Nightclub.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Well, how do you know it was smoking?
Speaker 7 (02:11):
Okay, I'm guessing obviously everyone smoked in the eighties and
it's Panama. Just let me paint this picture.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
My mom is this total homebody, but her Catholic school
friends made her go out one night and they end
up at this nightclub that's super popular with the army crowd.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And mom's a total betty.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
She's all hips and curly hair. And my dad and
army guy walks in and he sees my mom and
he makes a bet with his friend that he can
get my mom to dance with him, and his.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Friend takes the bet. My dad asked my mom to dance,
but she says no, dang yeah, my dad loses five bucks.
Speaker 7 (02:44):
They have a laugh about it, but I guess my
parents kept talking, and like six months later they get married.
Like that's amazing to meet someone and get this notion
that you could spend thirty years with them or a lifetime.
And it all happened because my mom took a chance.
And this guy who like walked through the door. Oh,
heads up, we're open, Like that could happen here.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
We have doors. Someone could walk through them.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
That changes everything, Gina, I guess it could happen here,
but it won't. I could tell you the next five
people to walk through that door, and I don't think
any of them are the love of your life. Oh
unless you count that older lady Zelda with the miss
Havisham vibes who always wants gothic romance novels and talks
about her dead husband. She might be the love of
my life. Watch, I bet it's crossword guy calling.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Bay City's public library reference desk. This is Gina, y
it's a crossword guy. See, okay, yeah, one second, let
me pull up the website.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Oh well, I need a seventeen down says a desert
concert with.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Ten.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh yeah, that's Coachella. What Coachella?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Oh how do you spell that?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
C O A C H E L la.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Oh I've heard of that.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Well that's the answer.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That guy he literally.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Just calls for crossword puzzle answers.
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Like, depending on the day, he'll call eight times, Like
on Monday when it's all easy, one two tops. By
Saturday when it gets all hard, we're at eight phone calls.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Like, isn't that cheating? What would will short say?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
But he's kind of sweet.
Speaker 7 (04:44):
He is kind of sweet. One time the answer was USB.
And try explaining what a USB is to an eighty
five year old who calls the reference desk for crossword
puzzle answers.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I don't have to try. My mom made me teach
her how to use her kindle last weekend. I am
not patient person. Gina who's next to the doors.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, it definitely won't be French guy. What a disaster
that was French guy.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
Yeah, I mean, I swear I am never going on
another date with a guy I meet here again.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I mean it this time.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
What can we do? The librarian finish is real? Wait
wait the French guy.
Speaker 7 (05:23):
Yeah, the cute one with the dimples who used to
come in like two years ago, and maybe he was flirty,
and I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I didn't see him for a while.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
And remember he would just come in and check out
study rooms and then he stopped and whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's a library, people come and go mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Go on, you've said nothing interesting yet, rude.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Anyway, he comes in last week after like two years,
all flushed, and I was like hey, and he was
like hi, with an accent, and I was like a
long time. And he proceeds to tell me that he
moved back to France a couple of years ago, but
he's in town for a little.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Bit, and he wrote down his Instagram.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
Handle and lingered for like twenty minutes, even though I
was helping other people.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Then he left and I followed him.
Speaker 7 (06:05):
On Instagram, of course I did, and he DMS me
and asked me to dinner, and like, is this how
it's done now? Anyway, I sort of jokingly ask if
he came to the library just to see me, but
also not joking because I'm petty and crave confirmation that
I'm maybe being obsessed over and adored, And he says yes.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And that he'd thought about me this whole time.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
So I say, I'll go to dinner with him because
I always thought he was cute and nice, and then
here he is telling me he's been thinking about me
for two years.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
So of course, of course I go to dinner.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
Okay, Yeah, that's a pretty good meat cute, exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Like my whole life.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
I've been training for a meat cute like this. But
then dinner was a disaster, and it turns out I
have nothing in common with a French guy who works
in it. He talked about his motorcycle and a motorcycle,
can you think of anything just more boring?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And his veganism, which is just so insufferable.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Aren't you a vegetarian?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, but I eat cheese. I am not inseperable.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Okay, if you say so.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Anyway, French guy was not the guy.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
And we will try again.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
We will try again. I just wanted to work out,
you know, I want that big love like my parents.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Thirty five years. That's pretty good. I don't even like
season two of most shows. Can you imagine season thirty
of a spouse Gina.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I cannot, but I'm not about that monogamy life like you.
Oh heads up?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Hi, how can I help you?
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Hi? Sorry to interrupt you. Okay, So this is uncomfortable.
I don't even know how to say this.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Sure, Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Someone in there is watching pornography, like really graphic pornography
on his computer.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Oh? Was he being disruptive or making noise?
Speaker 6 (08:00):
Is?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Did he have the volume turned up? Was there something
illegal taking place?
Speaker 6 (08:05):
No? No, nothing like that. It's inappropriate. He's just watching it.
Anyone walking by would see it.
Speaker 7 (08:12):
Oh okay, yeah, so I'm so sorry. The library has
a policy that people can access whatever information they want
while they're here, as long as they're not disturbing anyone.
It's this whole information is for everyone, sore that librarians
will die to protect.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
All we can really ask is like, just don't look
at a screen.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
This is just unacceptable.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I think I'm gonna have to find another library.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Sorry, someone in there is watching pornography.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
The one in here is always watching pornography.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Good luck finding a library without porn right?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Sorry?
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Hi again? Was there something else I could help you with?
Speaker 6 (08:53):
So?
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Now there's a donkey.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Okay, yeah, no, I'm coming. A librarian's job is never done.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
One minute you're googling crossword puzzle answers, the next year
explaining a library. It's complicated relationship with internet porn. It's true,
we're basically superheroes. The library is so sexual today.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I bet you.
Speaker 7 (09:21):
Didn't start today thinking you'd say the library is so
sexual today.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Who's walking through those doors next?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Well, I can tell you who I want to walk
through those doors next. And his name rhymes with Thris Jevins.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Pretty serious, really.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Oh totally Like he seems like he might read like
you put on a cozy turtleneck, get down with some
high fantasy and a cup of tea.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That doesn't sound even a little accurate.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Well we'll never know, right, what about you? You clearly
have someone in mind.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, I obviously wouldn't. Scoff at rhymes with Thris Jevins.
And if you'd asked me last week, I might have
said French guy. But I don't know all these like
failed attempts. I just like it felt so close with
French Guy.
Speaker 7 (10:04):
Like I could have that dirty dancing, crazy stupid you
complete me love, and like Is it so much to
ask that a guy shows up in an unflattering trench
coat and a boot?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Sorry, phone Bay City's public library reference desk. How can
I help you?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Well?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Hello, yes, hi, how can I help you?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You know, I was listening to the radio the other
day and they were talking about these like.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
African girls that like mean a few generator uh huh?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
And can you.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Find out if they have like a patent for that?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yet?
Speaker 5 (10:38):
You want to know if these African school girls have
a patent on their urine powered generator? Exactly could you
find that out for me?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Hmm?
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Not seeing anything?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Doesn't say how they made it.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
At least you want to know how they made it. Well,
it says how they made it, but it's long and
I'm not going to read it over the phone. If
you have access to the internet, you can find it easily. Okay, Well,
I've got other people waiting. I was also wonderful.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Was that bob who lives in his mom's basement? You know,
it was God, what did he want today?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
I think he wanted to steal these Nigerian schoolgirls' invention.
Oh he's just the absolute worst. I can tell you that.
I hope he remains a telephone reference caller. I don't
know what I'd do if he walked through the door. Okay,
before we were so rudely interrupted by Bob, you were
talking about some nobody puts Gina in a corner kind
of stuff. Oh wait, you're not going to start talking
(11:39):
about that guy at the concert again, are you?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I know it's bananas.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
You were like a teenager or something, right, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Yeah, it was this concert I went to when I
was nineteen with some friends to the Diabyie punk bar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
My friends started talking with these other.
Speaker 7 (11:52):
Friends and eventually one of the guys and one of
dance is talking to us and we strike up this conversation.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
One of those dreamy, flirty, bullshit deep conversations you have
when you're nineteen, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I couldn't even drink.
Speaker 7 (12:03):
I just stood there, smoking cigarettes talking to this cresty
punk rock guy and he laughed it on my jokes,
and he got all my pop culture references, and he
liked my vintage and novelty eye Heart Big Newton's T shirt, and.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Like that was it.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
I had to go and he had to go, and
he said, maybe you'd write a song about me, And
I rolled my eyes and the internet was a baby,
so it's not like I could follow slash stock someone
and oh no, I.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Like, I think I had the guy like once a week.
It's nuts, right, Like, damn, Gina, that is so stupid.
Speaker 5 (12:31):
You're so cute. You've told me that story at least
ten times. I think your parents ruined you.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Don't everyone's parents ruined them like that guy probably drives
the minivan, has two kids and a wife. Feeling like
sometimes don't you think about some lost opportunity?
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Uh? Not really, I do think about this purple glittery
retainer I lost in middle school. It made me feel
like a beautiful purple unicorn goddess. Still not over it,
to be honest, that got away.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
Oh hey, hi, excuse me, could you please keep it down?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh dang, I'm so sorry. Certainly, Okay.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
How many times have patrons shushed you?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (13:13):
God, so many.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's equal parts embarrassing and hysterical. The librarian gets shushed.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Okay, you were saying about how some unwashed boy flirted
with you like ten years ago and you still think
about him. But what makes you think he'd walk through
the doors. I mean, we're in Santa Monica, an actor
in a comic book movie could definitely walk through those doors.
But some rando from ten years ago.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Okay, yeah, fair point.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
It's just that I thought I saw him, you know, like, well,
I know right, I was at the beach, standing near
the boardwalk, had just gotten coffee with a friend, and
he was riding his bike.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
It or it was like someone who looked a heck of.
Speaker 7 (13:50):
A lot like him, you know, like a little older,
more lines on his face, definitely upped his hygiene game.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I could have sworn it was him. We made eye contact.
Seem like maybe he recognized me too, Or.
Speaker 7 (14:02):
I need to stop listening to romance novels and settle
for a motorcycle riding vegan.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
No, No, that's like legit. Maybe. I mean, either way,
it sounds like, at least there's a guy in a
five mile radius of here that you're attracted to. I
think it might be too late for you to take
up dystopian sci fi and boring men at this point.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Well, if nothing else, I'm sure there's at least ten
guys in the library right now with that librarian fetish
that would happily pretend to be an unwashed punk rocker
from your youth for a chance with a cute librarian. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Maybe, Oh he's new.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
What do you think he's looking for books on herpatology?
One time a guy asked me for books on herpetology,
and I totally pretended like I knew what he was
talking about, but I had to.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Give it a na. Sorry. Could you take my parents.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
Gift to my cubicle? I keep me to take it
back there for safekeeping. I'll help this guy. I'll let
you know if he's into herpetology or what.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I okay, sure thing, I need to pee anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Hi there, long time, no see Hi? Yeah, it's it's
been a minute. Can I help you find something? The
(15:32):
Librarian was written and directed by me Gio Ruis.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
I also played the role of Gina. Kathleen Leary was Anna.
Jan Ulrich was the audiobook narrator. Andrew Lewis was man
in Patron number two, Tony Diomatto was Crossroad Guy. Kara's
Picket was Patron one. Paul Forsyth was Patron three. A
special thanks to Kris for lending us her house for
the day. The editor and producer is Cameron cal Onset.
(15:55):
Sound mixer is Daniel Martinez. Sound designer and head of
post production is Diego for US, creator and showrunner is
James Kim. On set photographer is Julian Park. Score by
Robert Goarova and Ryobaum you Feel In. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and Overtones Media. For more podcasts from
rheart Radio, check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
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