December 4, 2023 • 32 mins
Gift giving analysis paralysis is a real thing, and this week, Kat is talking about why the season of giving can be so stressful sometimes. Then, she shares a special mental health minded gift guide to help promote simple gift ideas that anyone can benefit and find joy from!
Kat’s Amazon Mental Health Minded Gift Guide
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I started to realize that not being an expert isn't
a liability, it's a real gift.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
If we don't know something about ourselves at this point
in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable to know.
If you can die before you die, then you can
really live. There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought
I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know what to
do because there was no internet. I don't know, man,
I'm like, I feel like everything is hard.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a human first
and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting
you into conversations that I hope encourage you to become
more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the
world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. Hi, guys,
and while come to a new episode of You Need
(01:02):
Therapy Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My name is Kat.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I am the host, and quick reminder before we get
into today's episode that although I'm a therapist and this
podcast is called You Need Therapy, and you might need therapy,
this podcast does not serve as a replacement or a
substitute for any actual mental health services. However, we hope
that it can help you at some point wherever you
(01:25):
are on your journey and wherever you're going now today,
this week, we are doing something I think is fun.
For other people, this topic can come as a bit
more of a complicated situation, and since we are in
the season of giving. Plus, if you are listening to
this on Monday, December fourth, the day that it comes out,
(01:47):
you are listening to this on my birthday. So I
thought it would be appropriate and also maybe necessary to
do another gift minded episode. And I say another because
la year I did one that was more about gifts
that give back, and this year I thought about doing
that again, and I even started making the list, and
(02:09):
I still have that list that I can send out
to anyone, but I actually opted to focus on this
year gifts that are good for our mental health. Now,
if you are someone who suffers from gift purchasing paralysis
like I sometimes do, this topic might not be as
exciting and enjoyable as it is to some people. Some
(02:32):
people just love giving gifts. They get so much joy
out of it. They can do it all day. They
don't struggle with what to choose and they just do it.
But for some people, gift giving can be really overwhelming,
and searching for the in quote perfect gift can be
paralyzing for many people, and this can end up leaving
(02:53):
us waiting until the last minute to buy a gift,
or overthinking it so much that you don't even allow
yourself to give what you really want to give, and
so you lose some of the specialness in what makes
it important coming from you, because you get so wrapped
up in how somebody's going to receive it, if they'll
like it, if it's enough, if it's too much. There's
(03:14):
just so much that goes into that. Now, I really
do love giving a meaningful gift. I love a sentimental gift.
I like to get sentimental gifts as well. I also
like to get silly gifts, simple gifts, And I also
love giving gifts that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
People truly, truly, true, truly love.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I don't know anybody who doesn't like the feeling of
giving a gift to somebody and knowing that it's really
really appreciated. But we put I think, way too much
pressure to obtain that experience and to get that experience,
and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and
forget that for a gift to be meaningful and thoughtful.
It doesn't have to be perfect now, especially if your
(03:55):
love languages gifts. This topic has a lot to unpack,
and we're not gonna be able to unpack all of it,
but I did think it was important to at least
mention it and touch on this stuff, because if you
are like me, you can actually get really excited about
Christmas and buying gifts for people and shopping for people,
and you kind of get in your head about things,
(04:15):
and you take some of the joy away that you
deserve to experience during this year and during the experience
of buying gifts.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
For people that you love.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Sometimes when you buy a gift for someone, it can
kind of indicate your feelings about that person. And I'm
thinking in that case, especially if it's involving a romantic partner,
especially if it's involving a new romantic partner, and I
think because of that, it can sometimes feel like it's
exposing feelings or it can feel like you're saying something
(04:49):
through a gift that you're giving, and you don't want
to say too much, but you don't want to say
not enough, and then you're like, what is this person
reading into this? What is the symbolize. And like I said,
this makes me think a lot about new romantic relationships
and how to decide what's appropriate or not, what says
too much or what says too little. And I find
(05:10):
it really helpful to be careful and aware of our
expectations when giving or receiving gifts. They can be saying something.
I think that's fair, but they are not always saying something.
Sometimes gifts can be really deep and there is a
big meaning and importance behind them symbolism. Sometimes they're not
(05:33):
that deep, and sometimes that's okay. We get to give
a gift just for the sake of giving it, and
it doesn't have to mean anything other than I thought
you would like this. If my love language is gift
giving and my friends is not, I have to it
would be important. Now my love language is not gift giving,
but if it was, I would really need to recognize
(05:54):
that no matter what reaction I get from my friend,
I'm still expressing love. I'm still allowed to express love
through my action and through my gift, regardless of their
reaction to it. Because if let's say my friend struggles
receiving gifts, the reaction she offers in the moment might
not be about her appreciation or your ability to express
(06:17):
love through your gift.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It's really just.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
About her and her own internal working model. People sometimes
really struggle receiving gifts from people. And if somebody struggles
receiving the gifts from somebody, it doesn't mean they struggle
receiving your love from them. And sometimes we write too
much into that story, and we make up too many
stories about that. And that's why I say it's important
(06:40):
for us to be careful and aware of our expectations,
because I could be setting myself up for failure when
I don't have to do that. A helpful question to
ask when we are working ourselves up around choosing gifts,
is is my fear around or about me or the
per that I'm buying for. It's about creating an impression
(07:03):
or a narrative that can be really good information for
you to have. If you want somebody to have a
certain impression or story or thought about you based on
this gift, that is something that is really important and
good information for you to have, because we can't make
someone think or feel something about us.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So if we are aware of that.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
If we're aware that we're wanting to create an impression
or wanting to force a thought from somebody else, then
there can be some work done around wanting to control
perceptions and judgments from others, because we really don't have
the ability to do that, and when we try super
hard to make someone think something about us, we end
(07:45):
up not truly being our authentic selves.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And if gift giving.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Wasn't a game in that way, how would your experience change?
Then we also have to look at in gift giving
how the paradox of choice sets us up to struggle here.
I'm sure a lot of you are like me and
have been stuck on websites like Etsy for hours and
hours and hours and hours on end, searching for something
(08:12):
and maybe adding about forty five different things in your
cart and then ordering nothing.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I done that countless times.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I've done that, more than I have actually purchased something
from Etsy. And the truth and the reality is that
when we don't know exactly what we're looking for, the
more options we have, the harder it is for us
to make a decision. When I was searching for a
white dress for bridal events earlier this year, I don't
even want to know how many hours I spent because
(08:42):
it would bring sadness into my life. I spent so
many hours on websites like revolve in, like Lulu's looking
for what I wanted to be the perfect dress. I
mean hours, and these websites have pages and pages and
pages and pages, a bajillion pages, one hundred of options,
and needless to say, I never bought anything from any
(09:04):
of those stores. I became really, really overwhelmed, and at
one point I was not even able to distinguish if
I liked something or not, and then I couldn't choose
because there are so many options that ended up in
my cart that I would just click out of the
website and not go back. And similarly, I was at
the mall a couple of weeks ago and we walked
(09:27):
past Aritzia, and Patrick didn't know what that store was,
and I think he may have been liked, you want
to go in there? And I said, no, I cannot
go even go into that store, because stores like that
have so many options of basically the same thing, but
with like an iota of a differentiation of it, like
if you want a white T shirt, they have five
(09:48):
hundred different kinds, And again it creates that analysis paralysis
where you can't decide what you want. I need to
go into a store that has two white T shirts
and I could decide which one I want.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And that plays into gift giving, right, So if that's
happening with me and my experience of buying things for myself,
it's going to play out into my experience of buying
things for others too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So when we're searching for.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
A gift for someone else and we aren't exactly sure
what we want to give them, or we just know
we want it to be perfect, it basically makes it
impossible to choose and be satisfied because there are so
many options. They're endless, and so how do I know
if this is the right one? And knowing that and
thinking about that brings up memories that I have.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They feel ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
But when I was younger, when I was a kid,
I would make these extensive Christmas and Birthday lists from
my parents and they were so exact. I told them
exactly what I wanted. And at the same time, I
want to honestly text my parents and be like, you're
welcome for making buying me gifts so easy as a child,
(10:56):
because there was no second guessing I would go ahead
and make my on diliaz dot com, print it out
and hand it right to them directly. This is what
I want for Christmas, this is what I want for
my birthday. There was no confusion and that was really
great for them back then, other than the fact that
I probably asked for too much money's worth of items,
(11:17):
but they knew if they picked something off that list,
I would be happy. And if you have somebody on
your list this year, or just in your life in
general buying gifts at any moment, and they haven't been
gracious enough like I was as a child, to hand
you a detailed list of things they would like to receive,
it is okay to make things simple. And what I
(11:38):
really want people to hear this year and their gift
giving is that extravagant, expensive and time consuming doesn't make
a gift better. I actually have two things that I
think about when I am buying gifts for people that
have made it really easy for me to choose things
at times, and that is I think about products that
(12:00):
I love, so gifting somebody a product that has been
helpful for me or I just liked or has meant
something to me, I go down that route and I
think of things that just make me think of them,
and that might not be the most expensive thing, that
might not be the most original thing, that might not
be the most personalized thing, but it's something that made
(12:23):
me think of them. I bought a deck of cards
they were called like how to Speak in cat for
a friend this year because I was just walking through
a gift shop and I saw them, and I also
knew that their birthday was coming up, and they were
probably like twelve bucks or something like that, but it
was a gift that I immediately thought of that person.
(12:43):
I was like, Oh, this is what I'm getting for them.
Now do I know if this person is using those
cards every day? No, they probably shoved in a door somewhere. However,
it feels really good to receive something that wasn't just
something random that they picked out of a bag, but
it was a Oh that is for so and so
(13:04):
and so, I am going to offer you a gift
this year, and that is a list of products that
I love, specifically a list of products that I love
that also promote mental health, well being, and healthier relationships.
So these are gifts that could be great for anyone
regardless if you know the status of their mental health
(13:26):
or not. And I actually made a tab on my
Amazon storefront page where you can go and find a
lot of these gifts and the ones that are not
on Amazon. I'm going to just link the websites to
those gifts in the show notes, so if anything speaks
out to you, you can just easily access them there.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And these, again, are all things that I.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Appreciate and I like. They're not random things that I googled.
They are things that I've either received, things that I've used,
or things that I have given to others. A lot
of things that I actually have in my office or
at my house. So hopefully this list helps simplify gift
giving for you this year and allows it to be
less about making sure you get the perfect gift for
somebody and making sure you leave the perfect impression, and
(14:10):
allow it to be more about just doing something kind
for somebody and letting somebody know that you care about
them by going out of your way and getting something
for them like that alone is meaningful and thoughtful.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So here's my list.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
The first thing on my list is probably going to
be no surprise to anybody if you have been a
long time listener because I'm sure I've mentioned these multiple times,
but conversation cards, so the past couple of years, conversation
cards have really really taken off. And what I mean
by conversation cards are these decks that have been created
by different people, various people that can be used with
(14:49):
friends or partners or dating or just really in any
scenario to help prompt conversations and ask questions that might
not naturally come up in every day conversation and really
allows your brain to start thinking differently and can take
you down different tangents that you might not naturally would go,
and just it's just fun. I think for a lot
(15:10):
of times these cards. I have a deck called Concrete Conversations,
and they have different kinds of decks, like ones for friends,
one for relationships, so you can pick which one would
be appropriate based on the person you're giving. I really
like those cards, and they are things that I have
used on vacations, just border around the house. I've used
(15:31):
them with clients to help prompt them with certain things,
and I really love those. So Concrete Conversations for a friend.
I'm also a big fan of the Friendship deck, which
was created by a former guest of the podcast Blake
Blake and Beckler, who has a tongue twister of a name,
(15:52):
but she created the Friendship Deck as a way to
deepen friendships and really allow friendships to become more vulnerable
and just get places that you would normally go to
create more meaningful relationships. And I love them, so I'm
gonna link those as well. I'll also link the episode
that Blake was in in case you guys want to
listen to that. And if you're looking for more of
(16:13):
a game type feel, you can also get Where Should
We Begin, which is a storytelling slash conversation game created
by Esta Perell who's a relationship couple's therapists, and that
makes these conversations more into a game which can at
a different element and be really fun. So my first
(16:34):
idea conversation cards. They could be good for anybody, and
I love them for myself as well. Moving on to
number two affirmation cards, So I'm talking about more cards.
This is similar to conversation cards and that one it's
a deck of cards, but two there's a million of
these kinds of things to choose from. So I'm going
to make this easy for you, Like I said, my
(16:57):
favorite type of affirmation cards will always be affirmators. I
have given these to so many people that I can't
give them to people anymore because I don't know who
I've already gifted them to. But they are just these
affirmation cards that also are a little silly, and so
they can brighten your way intwo. For example, I'm gonna
pull a couple of them. So here's one. It says power,
(17:20):
and underneath the word power, it says, I am strong,
I am grounded, I am powerful. I am like a
cross between a dinosaur and a tank, but not a
tank that is used for war. I am like a peaceful,
loving dino tank who feels so strong and it doesn't
need to do anything but be. And then here's another one.
(17:41):
This one says don't take it personally, and underneath that
it says, if someone starts to speak unkindly to me,
I'll remember that they've got something going on that has
nothing to do with me, Like maybe they just poop
their pants.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, that's probably it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So you see, they're just like silly, but also they
will bring a smile to your faith. But also they're
helpful and they say things that actually are true and
that we need to hear sometimes if affirmators are not
your jam. You can also get the you Got This cards,
which is a deck of cards with different quotes on
each card, and that one is a great gift, I
(18:19):
think for anybody who's going through something really tough, or
somebody who's starting something new. It's just an encouragement. You
got this Our next gift number three weighted blanket. So
I have had one of these in my office since
literally forever, and I love having it as a resource
for clients when they're feeling anxious or having a hard
(18:39):
time just grounding themselves in whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
We're doing in session.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
And then I never had one in my house, but
a couple of years ago, my mom bought me one
for my birthday randomly. I didn't even give her a
list of things they wanted, and she bought it for
me randomly, And it's honestly one of the best things
she's ever given me. And if you struggle with sleeping
in general, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Plus it's just like cozy and like everything else.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
There are a million different kinds, brands, styles all of that.
I have a large knitted one and I love that
because one it looks nice in the home, and it
also doesn't make you super hot because there's a lot
of holes in it, so you.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Can use it anytime of the year.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I can use it in the summer, or I can
just put it over top of my blanket in the winter.
Mine is about fifteen pounds and I wouldn't really want
anything heavier than that. But you can also get heavier ones,
and you can also get lighter ones for kids, and
I have linked the one I have on my Amazon page.
They're a little bit more pricey than affirmation cards, but
if you are buying a gift, and more expensive gift,
(19:46):
I really do strongly suggest this as something that you
look for. Now number four we're going back down in
the expensive category because number four is just cozy socks.
And to some people this might seem like the lame gift.
But I actually asked for socks this year, not specifically,
(20:06):
but I just said randomly to Patrick, which she has
a list of things when I say things, which I
think is really cute. But when I mention things that
I want or that I need, he writes it down
in his phone so he can go to that later
when he is getting paralysis from gift giving, but I
told him I wanted socks this year. I was like,
if you ever just want to buy me something, give
(20:29):
me some socks. And there are two kinds that I
specifically love, Barefoot dreams socks and Bomba socks. I like
the Barefoot dreams for lounging at home with my weighted blanket,
and then the bombas for like every day and for
like working out and stuff. And a big part of
taking care of our mental health is finding comfort, and
(20:50):
this is a very practical, inexpensive, and easy way to
do that. I think we need to put more respect
on the gift of socks. We need some more justice
or the gift of socks, because I personally love getting
a pair of socks, a pair of good socks. They're
one of those things that you don't really want to
spend a lot of money on yourself, but you like
(21:12):
to get from other people. So you know, when in college,
I remember when I had to like buy shampoo or
toilet paper or any of those kind of things that
you're like annoyed having to spend your money on. I
would get like literally the cheapest thing I could get.
But when like my mom was in town taking me
shopping for things that I need, I would like splurge
and get the good stuff. And that was mostly not
(21:34):
because I was taking advantage of her, but because I
actually did not have the money to spend on any
of that stuff at the time. Maybe I was taking
it a little bit advantage of her kindness, but we
can process that later anyway. It's the same thing with socks,
Like it's one of those things. If you need new socks,
you're like, oh, okay, I'll just get these. Are socks
that important? But if somebody's like, what kind of socks
(21:56):
do you want, You're like, oh, I want the kind
that are twenty dollars a pare. And I don't necessarily
think that Bambas are twenty five dollars of pair. I'm
not sure exactly how much they are. However, I do
know that they have a giving back initiative where every
item that is purchased, they actually donate an item to
somebody in need. Plus right now as I am saying this,
(22:17):
so I don't know if it's still going on, they
are doing a sale on their website and it's twenty
percent off of your entire purchase when you use the
code that's on their website, which is Comfort twenty. And
I'm just saying that has nothing to do with me.
I just googled the website and it was on the website.
So hopefully that's still happening. When you guys, listen to
this and you can take advantage of that, because they.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Are really the best socks.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And if you know, you know, and if you don't know,
maybe you can get some and then you will be
in the know, and then you'll want to gift them
to people in the future. Number five coloring books and pens.
And yes, if you are like, what is this for
our children, sure you can get that for your children. Also,
(23:02):
adult coloring books are a thing, and they are such
a helpful self soothing tool and something that a lot
of times people don't know that they need or want
until they have them as well. And they are also
great when you're traveling and if you're someone who either
doesn't like to read or somebody who can't read while moving.
I know I can't read while in like a bus
(23:25):
or a car or anything like that, but I can color,
and it is something that can be.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Really helpful to one past time.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
But also it's a really good resource for people who
need to create some self soothing practices in their lives,
so coloring books and pens. I have some of those
in that Amazon page as well. Next, a diffuser, and
I found this year the cutest diffuser. It looks really nice.
It's not like an eyesore. I think some of them
(23:52):
can just like be bulky and take up space. But
I found one that I really liked and I have
that in my office. I tried out the pure diffuser,
which is the one that plugs into the wall and
you can control it from your phone, and I like
the sense, but it's not as exactly like an essential
oil diffuser, where you get to actually have the experience
(24:13):
of the light and the steam and the real essential
oil is coming out of it. It just feels very different
and creates a different vibe. So I highly recommend a
essential oil diffuser. There are tons of those on Amazon.
I again, to make this easier for you, have put
the one that I got in my office on that
page and then the next one.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Seven.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
This is going to be a weird idea, but I
also think it's a really good idea at the same time,
and it is a cute medicine pill case. And I
like this because it normalizes medication and it's very unexpected.
So this might be a gift that you give to
somebody that you maybe know takes medication, and also can
(24:57):
be a gift for somebody who struggles to remember to
take their medication too, because that can help them kind
of remember if they did or didn't do it that day,
because that can.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Be a thing.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
But it also I just like the idea that it
normalizes it, and it's okay to want to make your
pillcase fashionable. It makes it a little bit more fun
if it feels like a drag.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
So cute.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Medicine case number eight, which is the second to last idea,
is essentially a tea slash, teapot and other temperature soothing things.
And what I mean by that is one of the
things that I recommend to clients, or some of the
things that I recommend to clients often for ways to
self soothe and regulate heavy or overwhelming emotions and feelings
(25:40):
at home include things like face masks that have a
cooling effect, ice rollers, or hot tea. And the tea
is helpful because it's a warm sensation that you can
kind of move your brain from emotional to physical sensation
and focus on that and help you stay present. It
also has aromatherapy Part two, so it's creating two physical
(26:03):
sensations that can pull you out of that really emotional spiral.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So I love it. I've linked a couple teapots on
that page. One of them is the one that I.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Was actually gifted a year ago as a housewaring gift,
and it is really cute. It has like one of
these long spout neck things. I don't know what you
call that, but it kind of makes making tea fun,
you know, because the little spout thing is cool to
pour out of.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I think I like to find joy in the little things.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And then I've also linked a couple face mass and iemass,
but really, any of those kinds of things, it doesn't
matter which one it is. If it cools, then that's great.
If the teapot gets hot, then that's great. That's really
all we're looking for. We don't have to make it
super complicated. So temperature regulating things is number eight on
my list. And then my last thing, I've combined two
(26:56):
things kind of and really there are two companies that
both have missions that I really love and can stand behind,
and I group them together because the gift idea is
very similar. So the companies are the Giving Keys and Able,
and I'm not sure if they are both on the
list last year because they both give back and they
both have really strong missions that I believe in. The
(27:20):
Giving Keys started as stamped keys with words like strong, brave, believe, etc.
And the goal behind these was to gift a necklace
to somebody that had a word that might mean somebody,
that person that you think that person might need, and
eventually that person then would give that necklace to somebody else,
(27:41):
so it just continues to cycle through people that need it.
And I really like that they actually use like real
old keys that they find and stamp those words on.
So it's like the gift that keeps giving, except it's
much better than the Jelly of the Month club from
Christmas Vacation. Hopefully you guys have all se that movie
aluse you have no idea what I'm talking about. But
(28:02):
that's the gift that keeps giving that I'd actually want
to be a part of. And that's also coming from
somebody who doesn't like Jelly. So maybe we should put
Jelly of the Month Club on here. As an idea
that can just be our honorary number ten. Now, The
Giving Keys actually has a really expansive collection on their website.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Now they offer a lot more items.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But I am really again to make this easier for
you guys, really suggest going with that original item, the
original pieces as an easy way to celebrate or encourage somebody.
And then able which is another company that has I
mean they have tons of stuff. They do leather goods,
they do clothing, now, they have some home goods, they
have shoes. They also have a jewelry line. Now, this
(28:44):
jewelry line was actually started a long time ago by
Gracie Moekler who is now the founder of Emergency Confetti,
And if you haven't heard of Emergency Confetti, it's definitely
worth checking out and also has a wonderful mission behind it.
And able Able's jewelry line has jewelry that you can
also personalize. And their company helps give job opportunities to
(29:10):
women who are coming out of less than desirable situations,
whether that's sobriety or just dangerous living situations or incarcerations
stuff like that. They help get women back on their
feet and allow them to do some meaningful work. That
can create some self esteem, some sense of self and
(29:31):
all that good stuff that we really need to be successful.
And so I love the mission behind it. And like
I said, they have jewelry that you can personalize. And
last year for Christmas, I gave the three quarts Therapy
Therapists bracelets that said both slash and on them if
you know you know again. And recently I got one
(29:54):
of their necklaces. It's like a long bar and it
has four sides to it, and I put on the
the person's name, and then on each side I put
a word that describes them stamped a word that describes
them on there. And that's just a fun way to
celebrate somebody and at the same time pretty simple.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
So there you guys have it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
There is my short but long list of easy gift
ideas that honestly are more than just gifts. And I
feel like I've said this a million times, but I
will link all of those things so you can find
them for yourselves easily. We're in the spirit of ease
in the show notes, so you can find that there
and you can grab whatever speaks to you, if anything does. Also,
(30:37):
feel free to gift something to yourself because that is
always okay and always encouraged by me. So I hope
that this year you get to, like I said earlier,
really enjoy this time where we get to celebrate each
other and celebrate our relationships and we allow energy to
(30:57):
spend more on celebrating then making sure we're celebrating exactly
perfectly right and getting the exact perfect impression or feedback
or reaction that might get in the way of the
actual experience that is going to do it for me.
And before I sign off, I said this last week,
I'm going to say it again because in the spirit
(31:19):
of giving, if you would like to gift me something
that costs you zero dollars but maybe thirty seconds to
a minute of your time, I would love, love, love, love, love,
love love love for my birthday for you guys to
rate and review the podcast. If you have not done
so yet, you can do that on Spotify. You can
do that on Apple. If you do it on Apple,
I would really love if you wrote a little note
(31:40):
that just shares with me and the people that might
be checking this podcast out what resonates with you, because
that oftentimes is helpful because it shows me what I
should continue to do and also might speak to somebody
who's contemplating listening, so they might get to actually hears
something that is meaningful for them. So I always encourage that,
(32:04):
especially on my birthday. I would love for that to happen.
If you guys want to send me a note or
a question for couch Talks, the episode where I answer
your questions, you can send that to Katherine at You
Need Therapy podcast dot com and if you want to
follow us at cat dot Defada at you Need Therapy Podcast,
and at three Quarts Therapy if you want to follow
my therapy practice. So now I'm going to go enjoy
(32:27):
my birthday and I will be back with you guys
on Wednesday for couch Talks
I started to realize that not being an expert isn't
a liability, it's a real gift.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
If we don't know something about ourselves at this point
in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable to know.
If you can die before you die, then you can
really live. There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought
I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know what to
do because there was no internet. I don't know, man,
I'm like, I feel like everything is hard.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a human first
and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting
you into conversations that I hope encourage you to become
more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the
world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. Hi, guys,
and while come to a new episode of You Need
(01:02):
Therapy Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My name is Kat.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I am the host, and quick reminder before we get
into today's episode that although I'm a therapist and this
podcast is called You Need Therapy, and you might need therapy,
this podcast does not serve as a replacement or a
substitute for any actual mental health services. However, we hope
that it can help you at some point wherever you
(01:25):
are on your journey and wherever you're going now today,
this week, we are doing something I think is fun.
For other people, this topic can come as a bit
more of a complicated situation, and since we are in
the season of giving. Plus, if you are listening to
this on Monday, December fourth, the day that it comes out,
(01:47):
you are listening to this on my birthday. So I
thought it would be appropriate and also maybe necessary to
do another gift minded episode. And I say another because
la year I did one that was more about gifts
that give back, and this year I thought about doing
that again, and I even started making the list, and
(02:09):
I still have that list that I can send out
to anyone, but I actually opted to focus on this
year gifts that are good for our mental health. Now,
if you are someone who suffers from gift purchasing paralysis
like I sometimes do, this topic might not be as
exciting and enjoyable as it is to some people. Some
(02:32):
people just love giving gifts. They get so much joy
out of it. They can do it all day. They
don't struggle with what to choose and they just do it.
But for some people, gift giving can be really overwhelming,
and searching for the in quote perfect gift can be
paralyzing for many people, and this can end up leaving
(02:53):
us waiting until the last minute to buy a gift,
or overthinking it so much that you don't even allow
yourself to give what you really want to give, and
so you lose some of the specialness in what makes
it important coming from you, because you get so wrapped
up in how somebody's going to receive it, if they'll
like it, if it's enough, if it's too much. There's
(03:14):
just so much that goes into that. Now, I really
do love giving a meaningful gift. I love a sentimental gift.
I like to get sentimental gifts as well. I also
like to get silly gifts, simple gifts, And I also
love giving gifts that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
People truly, truly, true, truly love.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I don't know anybody who doesn't like the feeling of
giving a gift to somebody and knowing that it's really
really appreciated. But we put I think, way too much
pressure to obtain that experience and to get that experience,
and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and
forget that for a gift to be meaningful and thoughtful.
It doesn't have to be perfect now, especially if your
(03:55):
love languages gifts. This topic has a lot to unpack,
and we're not gonna be able to unpack all of it,
but I did think it was important to at least
mention it and touch on this stuff, because if you
are like me, you can actually get really excited about
Christmas and buying gifts for people and shopping for people,
and you kind of get in your head about things,
(04:15):
and you take some of the joy away that you
deserve to experience during this year and during the experience
of buying gifts.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
For people that you love.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Sometimes when you buy a gift for someone, it can
kind of indicate your feelings about that person. And I'm
thinking in that case, especially if it's involving a romantic partner,
especially if it's involving a new romantic partner, and I
think because of that, it can sometimes feel like it's
exposing feelings or it can feel like you're saying something
(04:49):
through a gift that you're giving, and you don't want
to say too much, but you don't want to say
not enough, and then you're like, what is this person
reading into this? What is the symbolize. And like I said,
this makes me think a lot about new romantic relationships
and how to decide what's appropriate or not, what says
too much or what says too little. And I find
(05:10):
it really helpful to be careful and aware of our
expectations when giving or receiving gifts. They can be saying something.
I think that's fair, but they are not always saying something.
Sometimes gifts can be really deep and there is a
big meaning and importance behind them symbolism. Sometimes they're not
(05:33):
that deep, and sometimes that's okay. We get to give
a gift just for the sake of giving it, and
it doesn't have to mean anything other than I thought
you would like this. If my love language is gift
giving and my friends is not, I have to it
would be important. Now my love language is not gift giving,
but if it was, I would really need to recognize
(05:54):
that no matter what reaction I get from my friend,
I'm still expressing love. I'm still allowed to express love
through my action and through my gift, regardless of their
reaction to it. Because if let's say my friend struggles
receiving gifts, the reaction she offers in the moment might
not be about her appreciation or your ability to express
(06:17):
love through your gift.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It's really just.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
About her and her own internal working model. People sometimes
really struggle receiving gifts from people. And if somebody struggles
receiving the gifts from somebody, it doesn't mean they struggle
receiving your love from them. And sometimes we write too
much into that story, and we make up too many
stories about that. And that's why I say it's important
(06:40):
for us to be careful and aware of our expectations,
because I could be setting myself up for failure when
I don't have to do that. A helpful question to
ask when we are working ourselves up around choosing gifts,
is is my fear around or about me or the
per that I'm buying for. It's about creating an impression
(07:03):
or a narrative that can be really good information for
you to have. If you want somebody to have a
certain impression or story or thought about you based on
this gift, that is something that is really important and
good information for you to have, because we can't make
someone think or feel something about us.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So if we are aware of that.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
If we're aware that we're wanting to create an impression
or wanting to force a thought from somebody else, then
there can be some work done around wanting to control
perceptions and judgments from others, because we really don't have
the ability to do that, and when we try super
hard to make someone think something about us, we end
(07:45):
up not truly being our authentic selves.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And if gift giving.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Wasn't a game in that way, how would your experience change?
Then we also have to look at in gift giving
how the paradox of choice sets us up to struggle here.
I'm sure a lot of you are like me and
have been stuck on websites like Etsy for hours and
hours and hours and hours on end, searching for something
(08:12):
and maybe adding about forty five different things in your
cart and then ordering nothing.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I done that countless times.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I've done that, more than I have actually purchased something
from Etsy. And the truth and the reality is that
when we don't know exactly what we're looking for, the
more options we have, the harder it is for us
to make a decision. When I was searching for a
white dress for bridal events earlier this year, I don't
even want to know how many hours I spent because
(08:42):
it would bring sadness into my life. I spent so
many hours on websites like revolve in, like Lulu's looking
for what I wanted to be the perfect dress. I
mean hours, and these websites have pages and pages and
pages and pages, a bajillion pages, one hundred of options,
and needless to say, I never bought anything from any
(09:04):
of those stores. I became really, really overwhelmed, and at
one point I was not even able to distinguish if
I liked something or not, and then I couldn't choose
because there are so many options that ended up in
my cart that I would just click out of the
website and not go back. And similarly, I was at
the mall a couple of weeks ago and we walked
(09:27):
past Aritzia, and Patrick didn't know what that store was,
and I think he may have been liked, you want
to go in there? And I said, no, I cannot
go even go into that store, because stores like that
have so many options of basically the same thing, but
with like an iota of a differentiation of it, like
if you want a white T shirt, they have five
(09:48):
hundred different kinds, And again it creates that analysis paralysis
where you can't decide what you want. I need to
go into a store that has two white T shirts
and I could decide which one I want.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And that plays into gift giving, right, So if that's
happening with me and my experience of buying things for myself,
it's going to play out into my experience of buying
things for others too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So when we're searching for.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
A gift for someone else and we aren't exactly sure
what we want to give them, or we just know
we want it to be perfect, it basically makes it
impossible to choose and be satisfied because there are so
many options. They're endless, and so how do I know
if this is the right one? And knowing that and
thinking about that brings up memories that I have.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They feel ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
But when I was younger, when I was a kid,
I would make these extensive Christmas and Birthday lists from
my parents and they were so exact. I told them
exactly what I wanted. And at the same time, I
want to honestly text my parents and be like, you're
welcome for making buying me gifts so easy as a child,
(10:56):
because there was no second guessing I would go ahead
and make my on diliaz dot com, print it out
and hand it right to them directly. This is what
I want for Christmas, this is what I want for
my birthday. There was no confusion and that was really
great for them back then, other than the fact that
I probably asked for too much money's worth of items,
(11:17):
but they knew if they picked something off that list,
I would be happy. And if you have somebody on
your list this year, or just in your life in
general buying gifts at any moment, and they haven't been
gracious enough like I was as a child, to hand
you a detailed list of things they would like to receive,
it is okay to make things simple. And what I
(11:38):
really want people to hear this year and their gift
giving is that extravagant, expensive and time consuming doesn't make
a gift better. I actually have two things that I
think about when I am buying gifts for people that
have made it really easy for me to choose things
at times, and that is I think about products that
(12:00):
I love, so gifting somebody a product that has been
helpful for me or I just liked or has meant
something to me, I go down that route and I
think of things that just make me think of them,
and that might not be the most expensive thing, that
might not be the most original thing, that might not
be the most personalized thing, but it's something that made
(12:23):
me think of them. I bought a deck of cards
they were called like how to Speak in cat for
a friend this year because I was just walking through
a gift shop and I saw them, and I also
knew that their birthday was coming up, and they were
probably like twelve bucks or something like that, but it
was a gift that I immediately thought of that person.
(12:43):
I was like, Oh, this is what I'm getting for them.
Now do I know if this person is using those
cards every day? No, they probably shoved in a door somewhere. However,
it feels really good to receive something that wasn't just
something random that they picked out of a bag, but
it was a Oh that is for so and so
(13:04):
and so, I am going to offer you a gift
this year, and that is a list of products that
I love, specifically a list of products that I love
that also promote mental health, well being, and healthier relationships.
So these are gifts that could be great for anyone
regardless if you know the status of their mental health
(13:26):
or not. And I actually made a tab on my
Amazon storefront page where you can go and find a
lot of these gifts and the ones that are not
on Amazon. I'm going to just link the websites to
those gifts in the show notes, so if anything speaks
out to you, you can just easily access them there.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And these, again, are all things that I.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Appreciate and I like. They're not random things that I googled.
They are things that I've either received, things that I've used,
or things that I have given to others. A lot
of things that I actually have in my office or
at my house. So hopefully this list helps simplify gift
giving for you this year and allows it to be
less about making sure you get the perfect gift for
somebody and making sure you leave the perfect impression, and
(14:10):
allow it to be more about just doing something kind
for somebody and letting somebody know that you care about
them by going out of your way and getting something
for them like that alone is meaningful and thoughtful.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So here's my list.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
The first thing on my list is probably going to
be no surprise to anybody if you have been a
long time listener because I'm sure I've mentioned these multiple times,
but conversation cards, so the past couple of years, conversation
cards have really really taken off. And what I mean
by conversation cards are these decks that have been created
by different people, various people that can be used with
(14:49):
friends or partners or dating or just really in any
scenario to help prompt conversations and ask questions that might
not naturally come up in every day conversation and really
allows your brain to start thinking differently and can take
you down different tangents that you might not naturally would go,
and just it's just fun. I think for a lot
(15:10):
of times these cards. I have a deck called Concrete Conversations,
and they have different kinds of decks, like ones for friends,
one for relationships, so you can pick which one would
be appropriate based on the person you're giving. I really
like those cards, and they are things that I have
used on vacations, just border around the house. I've used
(15:31):
them with clients to help prompt them with certain things,
and I really love those. So Concrete Conversations for a friend.
I'm also a big fan of the Friendship deck, which
was created by a former guest of the podcast Blake
Blake and Beckler, who has a tongue twister of a name,
(15:52):
but she created the Friendship Deck as a way to
deepen friendships and really allow friendships to become more vulnerable
and just get places that you would normally go to
create more meaningful relationships. And I love them, so I'm
gonna link those as well. I'll also link the episode
that Blake was in in case you guys want to
listen to that. And if you're looking for more of
(16:13):
a game type feel, you can also get Where Should
We Begin, which is a storytelling slash conversation game created
by Esta Perell who's a relationship couple's therapists, and that
makes these conversations more into a game which can at
a different element and be really fun. So my first
(16:34):
idea conversation cards. They could be good for anybody, and
I love them for myself as well. Moving on to
number two affirmation cards, So I'm talking about more cards.
This is similar to conversation cards and that one it's
a deck of cards, but two there's a million of
these kinds of things to choose from. So I'm going
to make this easy for you, Like I said, my
(16:57):
favorite type of affirmation cards will always be affirmators. I
have given these to so many people that I can't
give them to people anymore because I don't know who
I've already gifted them to. But they are just these
affirmation cards that also are a little silly, and so
they can brighten your way intwo. For example, I'm gonna
pull a couple of them. So here's one. It says power,
(17:20):
and underneath the word power, it says, I am strong,
I am grounded, I am powerful. I am like a
cross between a dinosaur and a tank, but not a
tank that is used for war. I am like a peaceful,
loving dino tank who feels so strong and it doesn't
need to do anything but be. And then here's another one.
(17:41):
This one says don't take it personally, and underneath that
it says, if someone starts to speak unkindly to me,
I'll remember that they've got something going on that has
nothing to do with me, Like maybe they just poop
their pants.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, that's probably it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So you see, they're just like silly, but also they
will bring a smile to your faith. But also they're
helpful and they say things that actually are true and
that we need to hear sometimes if affirmators are not
your jam. You can also get the you Got This cards,
which is a deck of cards with different quotes on
each card, and that one is a great gift, I
(18:19):
think for anybody who's going through something really tough, or
somebody who's starting something new. It's just an encouragement. You
got this Our next gift number three weighted blanket. So
I have had one of these in my office since
literally forever, and I love having it as a resource
for clients when they're feeling anxious or having a hard
(18:39):
time just grounding themselves in whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
We're doing in session.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
And then I never had one in my house, but
a couple of years ago, my mom bought me one
for my birthday randomly. I didn't even give her a
list of things they wanted, and she bought it for
me randomly, And it's honestly one of the best things
she's ever given me. And if you struggle with sleeping
in general, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Plus it's just like cozy and like everything else.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
There are a million different kinds, brands, styles all of that.
I have a large knitted one and I love that
because one it looks nice in the home, and it
also doesn't make you super hot because there's a lot
of holes in it, so you.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Can use it anytime of the year.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I can use it in the summer, or I can
just put it over top of my blanket in the winter.
Mine is about fifteen pounds and I wouldn't really want
anything heavier than that. But you can also get heavier ones,
and you can also get lighter ones for kids, and
I have linked the one I have on my Amazon page.
They're a little bit more pricey than affirmation cards, but
if you are buying a gift, and more expensive gift,
(19:46):
I really do strongly suggest this as something that you
look for. Now number four we're going back down in
the expensive category because number four is just cozy socks.
And to some people this might seem like the lame gift.
But I actually asked for socks this year, not specifically,
(20:06):
but I just said randomly to Patrick, which she has
a list of things when I say things, which I
think is really cute. But when I mention things that
I want or that I need, he writes it down
in his phone so he can go to that later
when he is getting paralysis from gift giving, but I
told him I wanted socks this year. I was like,
if you ever just want to buy me something, give
(20:29):
me some socks. And there are two kinds that I
specifically love, Barefoot dreams socks and Bomba socks. I like
the Barefoot dreams for lounging at home with my weighted blanket,
and then the bombas for like every day and for
like working out and stuff. And a big part of
taking care of our mental health is finding comfort, and
(20:50):
this is a very practical, inexpensive, and easy way to
do that. I think we need to put more respect
on the gift of socks. We need some more justice
or the gift of socks, because I personally love getting
a pair of socks, a pair of good socks. They're
one of those things that you don't really want to
spend a lot of money on yourself, but you like
(21:12):
to get from other people. So you know, when in college,
I remember when I had to like buy shampoo or
toilet paper or any of those kind of things that
you're like annoyed having to spend your money on. I
would get like literally the cheapest thing I could get.
But when like my mom was in town taking me
shopping for things that I need, I would like splurge
and get the good stuff. And that was mostly not
(21:34):
because I was taking advantage of her, but because I
actually did not have the money to spend on any
of that stuff at the time. Maybe I was taking
it a little bit advantage of her kindness, but we
can process that later anyway. It's the same thing with socks,
Like it's one of those things. If you need new socks,
you're like, oh, okay, I'll just get these. Are socks
that important? But if somebody's like, what kind of socks
(21:56):
do you want, You're like, oh, I want the kind
that are twenty dollars a pare. And I don't necessarily
think that Bambas are twenty five dollars of pair. I'm
not sure exactly how much they are. However, I do
know that they have a giving back initiative where every
item that is purchased, they actually donate an item to
somebody in need. Plus right now as I am saying this,
(22:17):
so I don't know if it's still going on, they
are doing a sale on their website and it's twenty
percent off of your entire purchase when you use the
code that's on their website, which is Comfort twenty. And
I'm just saying that has nothing to do with me.
I just googled the website and it was on the website.
So hopefully that's still happening. When you guys, listen to
this and you can take advantage of that, because they.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Are really the best socks.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And if you know, you know, and if you don't know,
maybe you can get some and then you will be
in the know, and then you'll want to gift them
to people in the future. Number five coloring books and pens.
And yes, if you are like, what is this for
our children, sure you can get that for your children. Also,
(23:02):
adult coloring books are a thing, and they are such
a helpful self soothing tool and something that a lot
of times people don't know that they need or want
until they have them as well. And they are also
great when you're traveling and if you're someone who either
doesn't like to read or somebody who can't read while moving.
I know I can't read while in like a bus
(23:25):
or a car or anything like that, but I can color,
and it is something that can be.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Really helpful to one past time.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
But also it's a really good resource for people who
need to create some self soothing practices in their lives,
so coloring books and pens. I have some of those
in that Amazon page as well. Next, a diffuser, and
I found this year the cutest diffuser. It looks really nice.
It's not like an eyesore. I think some of them
(23:52):
can just like be bulky and take up space. But
I found one that I really liked and I have
that in my office. I tried out the pure diffuser,
which is the one that plugs into the wall and
you can control it from your phone, and I like
the sense, but it's not as exactly like an essential
oil diffuser, where you get to actually have the experience
(24:13):
of the light and the steam and the real essential
oil is coming out of it. It just feels very different
and creates a different vibe. So I highly recommend a
essential oil diffuser. There are tons of those on Amazon.
I again, to make this easier for you, have put
the one that I got in my office on that
page and then the next one.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Seven.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
This is going to be a weird idea, but I
also think it's a really good idea at the same time,
and it is a cute medicine pill case. And I
like this because it normalizes medication and it's very unexpected.
So this might be a gift that you give to
somebody that you maybe know takes medication, and also can
(24:57):
be a gift for somebody who struggles to remember to
take their medication too, because that can help them kind
of remember if they did or didn't do it that day,
because that can.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Be a thing.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
But it also I just like the idea that it
normalizes it, and it's okay to want to make your
pillcase fashionable. It makes it a little bit more fun
if it feels like a drag.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
So cute.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Medicine case number eight, which is the second to last idea,
is essentially a tea slash, teapot and other temperature soothing things.
And what I mean by that is one of the
things that I recommend to clients, or some of the
things that I recommend to clients often for ways to
self soothe and regulate heavy or overwhelming emotions and feelings
(25:40):
at home include things like face masks that have a
cooling effect, ice rollers, or hot tea. And the tea
is helpful because it's a warm sensation that you can
kind of move your brain from emotional to physical sensation
and focus on that and help you stay present. It
also has aromatherapy Part two, so it's creating two physical
(26:03):
sensations that can pull you out of that really emotional spiral.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So I love it. I've linked a couple teapots on
that page. One of them is the one that I.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Was actually gifted a year ago as a housewaring gift,
and it is really cute. It has like one of
these long spout neck things. I don't know what you
call that, but it kind of makes making tea fun,
you know, because the little spout thing is cool to
pour out of.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I think I like to find joy in the little things.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And then I've also linked a couple face mass and iemass,
but really, any of those kinds of things, it doesn't
matter which one it is. If it cools, then that's great.
If the teapot gets hot, then that's great. That's really
all we're looking for. We don't have to make it
super complicated. So temperature regulating things is number eight on
my list. And then my last thing, I've combined two
(26:56):
things kind of and really there are two companies that
both have missions that I really love and can stand behind,
and I group them together because the gift idea is
very similar. So the companies are the Giving Keys and Able,
and I'm not sure if they are both on the
list last year because they both give back and they
both have really strong missions that I believe in. The
(27:20):
Giving Keys started as stamped keys with words like strong, brave, believe, etc.
And the goal behind these was to gift a necklace
to somebody that had a word that might mean somebody,
that person that you think that person might need, and
eventually that person then would give that necklace to somebody else,
(27:41):
so it just continues to cycle through people that need it.
And I really like that they actually use like real
old keys that they find and stamp those words on.
So it's like the gift that keeps giving, except it's
much better than the Jelly of the Month club from
Christmas Vacation. Hopefully you guys have all se that movie
aluse you have no idea what I'm talking about. But
(28:02):
that's the gift that keeps giving that I'd actually want
to be a part of. And that's also coming from
somebody who doesn't like Jelly. So maybe we should put
Jelly of the Month Club on here. As an idea
that can just be our honorary number ten. Now, The
Giving Keys actually has a really expansive collection on their website.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Now they offer a lot more items.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But I am really again to make this easier for
you guys, really suggest going with that original item, the
original pieces as an easy way to celebrate or encourage somebody.
And then able which is another company that has I
mean they have tons of stuff. They do leather goods,
they do clothing, now, they have some home goods, they
have shoes. They also have a jewelry line. Now, this
(28:44):
jewelry line was actually started a long time ago by
Gracie Moekler who is now the founder of Emergency Confetti,
And if you haven't heard of Emergency Confetti, it's definitely
worth checking out and also has a wonderful mission behind it.
And able Able's jewelry line has jewelry that you can
also personalize. And their company helps give job opportunities to
(29:10):
women who are coming out of less than desirable situations,
whether that's sobriety or just dangerous living situations or incarcerations
stuff like that. They help get women back on their
feet and allow them to do some meaningful work. That
can create some self esteem, some sense of self and
(29:31):
all that good stuff that we really need to be successful.
And so I love the mission behind it. And like
I said, they have jewelry that you can personalize. And
last year for Christmas, I gave the three quarts Therapy
Therapists bracelets that said both slash and on them if
you know you know again. And recently I got one
(29:54):
of their necklaces. It's like a long bar and it
has four sides to it, and I put on the
the person's name, and then on each side I put
a word that describes them stamped a word that describes
them on there. And that's just a fun way to
celebrate somebody and at the same time pretty simple.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
So there you guys have it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
There is my short but long list of easy gift
ideas that honestly are more than just gifts. And I
feel like I've said this a million times, but I
will link all of those things so you can find
them for yourselves easily. We're in the spirit of ease
in the show notes, so you can find that there
and you can grab whatever speaks to you, if anything does. Also,
(30:37):
feel free to gift something to yourself because that is
always okay and always encouraged by me. So I hope
that this year you get to, like I said earlier,
really enjoy this time where we get to celebrate each
other and celebrate our relationships and we allow energy to
(30:57):
spend more on celebrating then making sure we're celebrating exactly
perfectly right and getting the exact perfect impression or feedback
or reaction that might get in the way of the
actual experience that is going to do it for me.
And before I sign off, I said this last week,
I'm going to say it again because in the spirit
(31:19):
of giving, if you would like to gift me something
that costs you zero dollars but maybe thirty seconds to
a minute of your time, I would love, love, love, love, love,
love love love for my birthday for you guys to
rate and review the podcast. If you have not done
so yet, you can do that on Spotify. You can
do that on Apple. If you do it on Apple,
I would really love if you wrote a little note
(31:40):
that just shares with me and the people that might
be checking this podcast out what resonates with you, because
that oftentimes is helpful because it shows me what I
should continue to do and also might speak to somebody
who's contemplating listening, so they might get to actually hears
something that is meaningful for them. So I always encourage that,
(32:04):
especially on my birthday. I would love for that to happen.
If you guys want to send me a note or
a question for couch Talks, the episode where I answer
your questions, you can send that to Katherine at You
Need Therapy podcast dot com and if you want to
follow us at cat dot Defada at you Need Therapy Podcast,
and at three Quarts Therapy if you want to follow
my therapy practice. So now I'm going to go enjoy
(32:27):
my birthday and I will be back with you guys
on Wednesday for couch Talks
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