October 28, 2025 • 56 mins
What’s the *real* cost of success?
In this emotional and raw conversation, **Lex Borrero** sits down with **Qiana**, a powerhouse
entrepreneur who built five businesses from the ground up, to explore what success truly means
beyond money, titles, and recognition.
Together, they unpack the hidden cost of ambition, the fear behind achievement, and how to find
peace when “enough” is never enough.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So for me, success is true happiness.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What is true happiness?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Right?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
What's true happiness to you? So my name is Keana Ebilez.
I am a serial entrepreneur in the beauty and fashion space.
You start realizing that another zero in your bank account
really doesn't define anything. I definitely believe just your time
and I think that's our greatest possession because it doesn't
wait for anyone.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But now you're on the value of time. So was
it worth it? Wow? Kenna, welcome to you versus you.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Thank you, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm very, very excited to have this conversation. As we
were just sharing, we got a chance to meet on
a panel that I don't even know how I ended
up in that panel to hundred percent honest, I was
thinking about of the you know today because I was like, oh,
that's where we met. I don't even know how I
ended up in that panel, but it's the beautiful things
that life does to connect to people, and I think
ever since then, we've been able to share. First of all,
(00:58):
I share the joy of of the amazing things that
are happening in your career, and I've been able to
also share some of the conversations we'll be having today.
So I'm excited to get into it. But first, you know,
I want to give you some flowers. So let's start
with your business trajectory. Right. You own five different businesses
in the beauty space. What would you say has been
(01:21):
the biggest key in making those successful?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I want, I definitely believe it's like the drive behind it, right,
the consistency and just always showing up, you know, I
think it's very important. And just the relationships that I've
built in different in the different businesses. And I always
believe in just pouring back. So I think that shows
(01:47):
in whether it's in my team. Might never call people employees,
et cetera, but I think that that's a key to
a lot of the success that I've accomplished so far.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
What is it about out calling them team instead of employees?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I feel like we both need each other, you know.
I feel like we compliment one another. Well, so it's
like you know the old saying, one hand wash the other,
two wash the face. So yeah, that's how I believe.
And I and not only that, I think they bring
so much value as well, and just being respecting them
(02:25):
as individuals. So I think That's why I like to
call people, and I think we do it together as
a unit, not just me.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
What do you consider your own strengths to be?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Ah, I think we mentioned this before too, right, like
just this burning desire inside of me, and before we
spoke a little bit about I just feel that it's
funny how you mentioned that all these things are within you,
and sometimes we're always like, what's the next thing, what's
(02:58):
the next thing? But it's obviously within you. So I
do feel that that's one of the things, the burning
desire that I have inside of me to continue to
want to grow in every sense of the word, not
just as an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Where do you think that desire comes from.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I think, you know, just help on beginnings and everything
that you're exposed to at a certain age, and maybe
even conversations that we've may have heard, like you have
to do this, you have to you know, just to succeed,
and before you know it, it's pretty much embedded in
you without you even realizing. It's just me. I don't
know if I was born this way or but it's
(03:36):
definitely just me to have that just burning drive inside
of me that doesn't seem to fizzle for some reason.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's interestingly you said it's embedded in you, right, because
I think it shows you how your brain is so
much like a computer. Right. It takes where you give
it and it starts to implement it as its own law.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
But it does that with the good and the bad.
I think in people who become successful in business or
professional athletes, there is a drive that is embedded in
our programming hip that allows us to kind of persevere. Right, right,
the question becomes at what costs?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Very true?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
What do you feel that having that drive has cost you?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Oh, friendships, I mean so many things. I feel like
more so as I just stated to you before we
started rolling, it's just outgrows certain situations. But I feel time,
sharing with family, with friends, people who really matter to you.
(04:46):
I feel like all those things you definitely compromise for
what you believe at the time could be the greater
good for many things, whether it's for you, for your family,
for society. Right. So, I definitely believe just your time,
and I think that's our greatest possession because it doesn't
wait for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Annoying now, right, because I think when you start, you
don't see the or you don't understand the value of
time because you have this goal. Just like again, professional
athletes us that were like I want this, this, this, this, this, this, this. Right,
then you get to a certain point where you've accomplished enough,
right or we might seem like enough because for people
(05:32):
that are driven like you and I, sometimes enough is
not enough. But now you know the value of time.
So was it worth it?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah? I think so. I think some people, some individuals,
certain things have an expiration date and it's okay. And
to be quite honest, for I can speak for myself,
I think it's definitely been worth it. And it's actually
it was a blessing in disguise at the time that
(06:03):
I may have not realized. So I'm actually happy that
I've made the decisions that I made.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
What is success to you?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Back then? When I before I reach success and you
start realizing that another zero in your bank account really
doesn't define anything. It's just that just a material thing.
I mean, if we have some type of outage or
something in the banking, say, who would really be right?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Like?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
So for me, success is true happiness and also being
able to just pour back into other people and having
the means to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
What is true happiness?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Right? Right? I think that's what I'm identifying or every
day continue to want to obtain true, true happiness. I'm
happy because I can do and do the things I want.
But right what does true happiness really look at? That
look like at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What if I told you that I had nothing to
do with your success, would it make you stop?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And no?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Because, like I said, I think for me, it's not
just about me anymore. It's about others. So until I
maybe even if I can impact I don't know a
few people for me that it allows me to keep going.
But if you said, if it was if it was
in me and I can stop, sure, why not? I
want to live a soft life, you know. But yeah,
(07:35):
it's interesting. What is true happiness? What's true happiness to you?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
If you would have asked me that maybe a year ago,
I would have told you accomplishing more. I would have
told you, like you know, being able to do more,
being able to give back more to people, being able
to continue to supply the dreams of my families and
of my team and of my clients. And but I
very quickly found out that that is a story I
(08:00):
tell myself because the race never ends, and you'll always
try to find something else you want more. And in
the pretty car you just bought, it's not as pretty
as the one you just saw. You know, the things
that you want to do for other people, You very
quickly find out they're humans just like you, and they'll
make decisions for themselves just like you will, and you
(08:24):
start understanding that all these things are or at least
I started to understand that all these things became excuses,
became stories that I told myself in order to feel
like what I was doing had purpose.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Do you feel as humans? We will ever stop as
human beings? Saying oh I obtained this now, I couldn't
go on to the next it ever, is Lex ever
going to hit a spot where he's like, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I think the realization of you versus you, the realization
that it was never going to stop as well, brought
me to a place that said, I actually don't need
any of this. And some people might say, well, you
say that because you have it, but I think it's
if I would have never had it, I would have
always questioned, oh, I feel this way because I don't
(09:17):
have it I feel this way because I'm not this
massively successful person that people think it's cool. But then
you get there and you realize you actually never needed it. Right.
The concept that we don't have time for our families
because we are working towards our dream and this needs
this much of dedication. It's a story that we believe
(09:43):
and then we live by that, not realizing that there's
a complete opposite of that. About three years ago, I
or two years ago, I had to make the change
between being an entrepreneur and a CEO, and it's two
very different things. Right, entrepreneur, You're you're going everything is possible,
every hardship feels like death, but at the same time
(10:05):
you're like, I can accomplish the world. Then you realize
this is a job. In the middle of that, I
was having a conversation with another really accomplished CEO and
he was like, hey, let's what do you what are
you doing this year? Like what's your travel plans? And
I'm like, dude, what do you mean, Like I don't
know what my next week is because I'm always changing.
He said to me, ha haha, Well you're not rich
(10:26):
enough then, and I was like, that's interesting. I said,
here's the thing, le A CEO doesn't get paid to
do the work. He gets paid to be the vision.
And you can't be the vision when you're so your
time is all consumed in the work absolute And I
was like, oh wow, I hadn't thought about it like that.
(10:48):
And then I implemented that into my internal work and said, well,
that's actually the reality in everything in my life is
that everything has just been a story I told myself
in order to feel fulfilled, in order to fill this
hole that I'm trying to feel called happiness. But it's
really hard to have joyful moments where your security is
(11:11):
based on what happens that day, on how much money
the bank account has, or the nice car that you drive,
or you know the man or the woman that you're dating,
or if your parents that day dator didn't do something,
or if your team did or did that something right.
Your happiness is always writing on these things that are uncontrollable,
(11:31):
so that it begs the question again, do you need
all of that to be happy?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Absolutely not, And then it begs the question again, when
is it enough?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
And also when you said, entrepreneur and ceo, how did
you relinquish, Like, how did you start letting go and
actually being a CEO.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
By realizing that I don't actually control anything?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
It's another story. I tell myself, Right, I have to
take this job. I have to write this email, I
have to send this, I have to box this, have
to do this, I have to run, I have to jump. No,
you actually don't have to, because here's the truth. How
many times have you planned something? How many times you've
created a product and thought of everything and then it
doesn't work?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Very true?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
How many times you've said, oh my god, today it's
a beautiful day, I'm gonna weare this you come out
and starts raining.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, very true.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You generally don't control anything. But we've been taught that
we have to be the drivers, Like you cannot be
successful unless you drive.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
The car right, almost like we've been taught to kind
of control your own destiny when it's really not not.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
That way, when you're just a vessel. And I've shared
this a couple of times in the conversations, which is
I realize the right at the back of the car.
It's a lot nicer than being the driver.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I say that all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's nice, but we don't take that concept into our lives,
and so we sacrifice time, we sacrifice our emotions, we
sacrifice all these things because we think that the result
of that will be success and happiness. Because you want
success to be happy, right, right, Because if money has
(13:21):
no value to you and you're happy being you know,
a hippie who skates around Lizbeth the beach, right, then
happiness and money that don't. Actually, it's not a mathematical
question that makes sense, right, The mapping mathing exactly, the
mathing and mathing. And that leads me to my next question, Right,
(13:43):
what are you afraid of?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I think we I spoke about this earlier. I don't
know why I am this way, and I know it
might sound crazy, but I don't give those words power. Afraid, scared,
I don't give them power. I feel like I've been
through too much and sacrifice too much in life to
have moments like this and be afraid or shy away
(14:08):
from them. So I'm really not afraid of failing. No,
I'm not. I don't believe that. So I'm actually trying
to be Besides I mice or snakes, I don't really
identify with something that I'm afraid of. I don't know
if it's because of everything I've either overcome or so,
(14:28):
I'm not not sure.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
To be quite honest, do you feel stressed?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, but only for a few moments, Like I don't
let it consume me.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What stress is here?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It could be something like, oh, I have to get
this accomplished, or I have to do this by a
certain time. Even when that's going on, it may happen.
I might get stressed at the moment, but I let
it go. So I'll have a moment, but I won't
make it like a monument.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
What do you tell yourself to let it go?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I pray and before you know it, it says it. It's
never happened. Oh, it's not happening. Like sitting here now,
like you know you have goals to accomplish. You know,
you have huge goals to accomplish, and it's like, all right,
it still hasn't hit yet, or something hasn't, but I'm
sitting here having a conversation with you as if it did.
(15:19):
So I don't know. I want to maybe identify, like
what am I fearful of or what because I don't
think I am. I face moments in my life where
it could have been end all, be all, And at
those moments, I've felt a sense of like a wosaw,
(15:41):
like I'm ready to face the music. So that's why
I'm trying to identify what is that really? And I
never understand where so many people are so afraid to
take the leap of faith. That doesn't register to me.
So I would love to understand that better.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You would love to understand why it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
No, what is everyone so afraid of or fearful of?
I try to. I really want to understand that concept.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It's interesting because fear is a story, right, I think
that's and that just happens to be maybe a muscle
you have, maybe stronger than other people. But fear conceptually
is the lack of trust that everything will be okay.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
It's interesting, right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Because your brain is registering something that for many people
I would say is very similar, right, like jumping into
a business. I agree with you, I don't fear starting
something right like that has no I'm like a natural
firestarter in that sense. But in that process there's also
(16:48):
the fear of what if all these things that I'm
doing is still not it Okay, that ultimately leads you
to figure out why you don't define and happiness because
the supplement of work and accomplishment usually creates a deficiency
(17:08):
somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Right, very true.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
What part of your life do you feel there's a deficiency.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
We got to figure it out. We have to figure
it out, because it's definitely something that now that you
put it that way, it's interesting because it's really two
of the same.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Is there an area of your life that you feel
you've had to sacrifice for success that you, looking back,
maybe wish that you wouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, I'm not married, nor do I have children, So
that was a sacrifice. Why Because that's all I was
focused on was work And I kept saying I remember
people were asking, what are you gonna have kids? And
I'm like another two years, not two years? And they're like,
you've been saying that the last five and it's like
you don't realize that. I'm like, maybe if I wasn't
(18:02):
so focused on work or being driven, it would have happened.
You know. It's like I've been forced to play these
roles that it's almost also masculine at the same time, Right,
Like some women don't always want to lead all the time.
So I think that's a huge sacrifice family and children.
(18:26):
I think that's a huge sacrifice as a woman especially.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
And I'm just intrigued, right because honestly, I understand it
right in my personal life again, the story, because it's
all stories, the idea and the story that I need
to go after all this or also caused a lot
of relationships to not work out, or so I thought
(18:52):
that it was because of work, and then I started
to understand that there's a lot of other things deeper
than that. And as I identify those things, I started
to realize that I just wasn't willing to learn them
right because I think sometimes we sometimes it's always easier
to blame somebody else, absolutely always easier to be like, nah,
(19:15):
that girl she ain't doing this and doing that, or
this guy doing this, and then that it's a lot
harder to look in the mirror. Is there things that
you feel that relationships have taught you or the lack
of relationships have taught you that life is still trying
to teach you. Maybe you're not listening.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yes, of course, I feel like what how I felt
in my yester years is totally different, or I have
a different point of view, and I've learned patience, just
a lot of things, especially when dealing with another individual
you have another someone else in your life. So yes, absolutely,
(19:57):
I do feel that I've learned in that, I mean, grow,
have grown in that department in regards to But at
the same time, I'm like, yeah, I don't think it
was me. You know, I'm not the common denominator for sure.
(20:17):
H m hmmm.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
What would you say is the common denominator?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Maybe just timing? Timing sometimes where people are in life,
it could be a number of things.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Would you say that that's where you want the most
right now? A family?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Absolutely? Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Are you where we out of it? This is gonna
turn into a hot one for information and how.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yes I think I was. But again, sometimes you pick
the partner you know may have done that already and
you guys are not on the same playing fields, which
I feel sometimes you men need to be honest from
the door, you know, just not to waste anyone's time.
(21:18):
I think both parties should be honest from the door.
Shou not waste anyone's time, because some men, when they're
faced with those decisions making they're.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like, oh wow, so why do you think that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Is some men have been so damaged in the past
when they found that person, they run away from it
because they don't want to feel hurt again. Interesting, and
I know that for a fact because I've been told that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
In the work. I started to realize is we are
all just hurt people, right. We are all looking at
things from a POV of our filter. So when we
look at something in a lovingly present, when we look
at a woman or the circumstance or even an argument
(22:07):
right from a loving heart, you are open to the
fact that your POV is not law. And then when
we see something being bad, it's fear. Right, it's fear
that whatever you are doing is making me maybe less
than or not as good, or as touching on an
(22:28):
insecurity that I have that is being triggered by whatever
you are bringing up in my life. And I think
the common denominator in human in the human condition is
whether that's a relationship with your team or a relationship
with a brother, a sister, a father, a daughter, or
a relationship, is that we take our POV and we
(22:53):
want to make it law, not realizing that we're just
filtering the information, through our trauma, through our life lessons,
and the fear.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Here we go with that word again.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It's interesting, you know why, because it's a word that
I think when you're successful, you don't register as much
as normal people register it because most people don't kind
of accomplish their dreams out of fear, right, most people
quit right before the final life. When you're a successful person, successful,
(23:31):
when you when you've accomplished things right, you tend to
have that as a strong part of your mind. But
it's usually intended to hide something else because it usually
leads us to accomplishing what we want. And then when
(23:53):
the door is closed and you're by yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You're dealing with yourself, and you're.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Dealing with yourself. So what is Kara dealing with?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Ah, well, we just tapped into one, you know, just
like is it meant for me?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Is it not.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Accepting it right? And moving forward with that? And just
pretty much at this point, it's you know, making sure
my family is okay and so forth, and just obviously
you know, obstacles that come about with your business and
wanting to succeed. But I think I have to like
(24:39):
break that down further, you know, because that's like on
the on the surface, right, Like how do you break
it down even further to really see? Because you stand
in the mirror, right, you look at yourself. You have
to be honest with yourself. That's the one and only
time like this is this is it?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
This is you that you're looking at. But it's like,
let's go deeper, you know what I mean. So that's
something that I would definitely want to do, Like what
am I facing? What am I really really dealing with?
I can't be this strong, you know what I mean? Like,
so it's like definitely, I don't. I don't know. I
(25:20):
don't feel like am what am I really dealing with?
You're right when I'm alone? Besides making it happen, like
making everything happen.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, it's interesting. I think this is what led to
this podcast because again, everybody sees accomplished people as like superheroes,
but the truth is most of us are having a
hard time facing that mirror and identifying as good as
we are to solve problems for everything else in our lives.
(25:53):
Then when it gets to our emotional and then we
feel guarded because we you know, the story is, we
can't show that, right you know that's a sign of weakness.
And there sharks in the water, they're gonna combite me. Right,
But we start living with this trauma.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Do you think we live with it or just like
sugarcoat it, just put a blanket over it, because as
you're living with it, you just like brush it onder
the rug more and more or any into your inner self?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Is that what you're I think we.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Like to pretend that it's things that you can shove
or you can hide, but they're not because the moment
you're with yourself, you're asking yourself is it meant for me?
Is it not?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And actually accepting that. I don't think it's it's hard
for anyone to want to really accept that, right, But it's.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
An interesting concept for someone who's so successful as you,
because if I would tell you that in business, you
would probably tell me what am I accepting? Defeat? Are
you kidding? Honey? Look at all I've done? But your
(27:08):
mind doesn't register that in your personal life mm hmm.
Your mind speaks what you've been teaching it m hm.
And Kenna's been teaching her mind that maybe is not
meant for her, so that same I don't have a
fear in business, it's the.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Fear of not having a family children. Got It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
And you're not registering the same level of intensity you're
doing business in your personal life because it causes you
to face the fear.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
And the fear comes from trauma, gotcha. So the question
becomes when traumas?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Do you feel led up to that?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And when did it start?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And when did it start?
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's interesting how your brain works.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Right absolutely, sometimes without you even realizing it. Would you
say that's your subconscious mind?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, I'd say that your subconscious holds into every information
and it registers I would say in my personal experience.
I'm not a neurologist or an expert in this field,
but it registers the emotion that causes sends that to
(28:32):
your mind instead of registering what actually caused it. So
you feel the fear, but you can't truly understand.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Where it's coming from from.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
And so the work comes because it's very much a computer.
Where did it start that I am afraid of not
having a family?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Well maybe as you get older and it's not happening,
So you're like, oh, you know, but I guess I
maybe a betted.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
It in Can you see what your mind just did
create an excuse for itself. I'm going to use your
strong side again.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
If I would have told you that in your business side,
would you've ass up to that.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
No? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Would you said to me like your you're crazy buddy.
Your brain just brought up, made your mouth open, and
it used an excuse for itself. If I tell you, okay,
are your age? Can you become successful again? If you
had to start from zero.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I would say yes, I would.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
So does age play a number on it or not?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
It doesn't. I'm making an excuse.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Brain is making an excuse.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Wow. I never looked at it that way. I mean
they do say, you know, speak into existence the things
you want and desire. But I guess I never looked
at this this way because I would always just say, like, whatever,
if it's meant to be to be another excuse? Is
that another excuse?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
But I'm just surprised because kind of the business woman
would have never accepted that.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
No. And it's funny because I, I mean, this is
maybe a little personal, but I have rolls in my eggs,
et cetera. Because I was almost determining, like this is
how it's going to go down. You know, like, but
I shouldn't do that. Definitely shouldn't do that. Okay, So
(30:32):
after this conversation, I might go out and it may happen.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Again. It might happen.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
It will happen your words.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Remember, your brain does not know the difference between reality
and what you're telling. And you ever bought a car
or you started looking at a car. This is the
best example because I think it happens to everybody. You
ever bought a or one of let's call it, a
g wagon in blue, and all of a sudden you
(31:04):
start seeing gea wagons in blue. Oh, there you go.
And then you start seeing it, You're like, oh my god,
I never noticed. Your brain took it and the blues
were always around you. You just never give it the
importance in your brain. So your brain is registering, hey,
this might not be for you.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So the man that's for you might be right in
front of you. You might not even see it because you're
telling your brain that it might not be for it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Right, very true.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Everything else you haven't accomplished while you have goals. In
our conversation, you pointed out the most important thing, right,
Your number one goal is the one goal you're lying
to your mind about.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Wow, definitely interesting way to look at it. Thank you
for bringing that up.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know what's amazing to me how our mine works.
It's so crazy and how we tell it. All these
stories as safeguards to not look at the trauma. But
the trauma is there right somewhere in your lifespan. You
(32:18):
felt that fear for the first time. M And what
I realized in my personal work is that little les,
sometimes I gotta go back and be like, hey, listen,
look at this, you're actually okay. I would say that
having that moment to yourself to understand that feeling and
(32:42):
where it came from, will give you a starting point
and then comes the the work right right, the programming,
the reprogramming, the part that needs you to use that
same motivation and that same determination and that same discipline
(33:03):
that you use in your business.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
For yourself makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
But that reprogramming is doable, just like you can reprogram
yourself too.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But how do you you know, with so much going on,
It's it's a lot of work, right that you have
to do. Obviously, once you've accepted it, you understand it,
But how does that then go to actually applying it
with all the noise that's around everything you have to do,
everything you have to accomplish, because that's not You've got
(33:35):
to feed your mind something totally different than you've been
feeding it. And then, like, as you stated, this may
be one of the most important, but I'm sure there's
other things that I think of, but I'm so used
to telling it or making an excuse for it.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You all the things you have to do. Yeah, do
you feel successful part of your identity?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Is there a number in mine where it's enough?
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Sort of? Why?
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Sort of.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Because if I obtain it, I haven't made a full
decision whether it's like, Okay, I'm done, I'm going to
set into the sunset. But I think if I make
that number, because when I again being so driven, once
I get there, I might want something else, And then
I think my job will never be completed because as
(34:31):
I said, it's no longer about me, It's about how
many people like can impact. I think your true purpose
in life is how many people you can help change
impact in your life. That's your true legacy. It's not
about money, it's not about none of that stuff. Your
true legacy is how many people you impacted while the
time you were here.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Let's share a story with you, Okay, because I'm loving
our conversation. Thank you, and I'm asking a thousand questions. No,
we don't listen, This could be as long as we
wanted to be right, we don't have to end anything.
I'm happy with that. But you know, people don't realize, like,
even though we've met before, we genuinely have never had,
(35:15):
first of all, a deep conversation. Let him know, like
outside of a couple of conversations here there. So to
me is really interesting because you define purpose as you know,
leaving a legacy helping people and being a part of people.
I had an opportunity where I went deep into myself, right.
I took three or four days off to like really
(35:38):
go deep into internal work, into doing some medicine work,
and to like really putting that out. When I got out,
I was sharing it with a client of mine. I
was like, oh, man, yeah, you know this is transformative.
And the client started crying and I was like wow.
I said, thank you because you doing this so that
(36:01):
I don't have to. And I was like huh, and
it clicked. You're only as good as you work on yourself.
So the real purpose of life is not everybody else.
It's another story. We set ourselves to protect ourselves from
(36:22):
having to look inside.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Where it's no longer about you. You're making it about.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Everyone else because you don't want to look inside.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Right, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
It's easier to judge everybody. As a matter of fact,
it's so much easier to give someone a compliment. You
can be like, oh my god, lex you look so handsome. Oh,
you're accomplishing so much, all this stuff. You wake up
in the morning you're like, oh I look fat today. Yeah,
this shirt doesn't look good on me.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
For me, it's like I haven't done enough, and people
around me are like, are you crazy or something? And
I'm like, it's not enough.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Of fear.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The one word that I constantly say, I don't have.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I do.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I guess I'm not identifying it.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Because you're using the same technique the other way. My
purpose and my value comes from helping others. That's really
the legacy. No, your real value and legacy comes from
working on you.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
But then how do you share that with others?
Speaker 2 (37:37):
That goes automatically, right. I get to share my internal
work with you today, and that helps you. We build community. Right.
The mind is like a computer. So there's things in
a computer that you're doing by yourself. You're listening to
this podcast, you're reading a book, the book I shared
(37:57):
with you. There's things in a computer. And I say
this in every podcast, but there's a thing in the
computers where you I need to call you to. We're like, hey, listen,
I don't know how to use self? Can you use it?
There you go? This is this this community, right, That's
why it's so important who you hang around with, Yes,
(38:18):
so important, the people that you have around you. This
is so important. Even sometimes again there's things that you
can get from parents, there's things that you can get,
but it's so important for you to realize what information
is coming in. And then there's times you need a
Google engineer because the computer is fright, you got to
take it to the genius bar, right, And that's that
(38:41):
next level of meditation. That's the next level of medicine work.
That's the next level where you need to unlock your
mind to understand. That is the level that goes deep,
deep inside internal. Because we have all these lessons, our
filter is how do I share it with other people?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Right?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Why do you want to share it? Yeah, because you
associate your self value and the value of your life
with giving. So if all the people you give to
throw it in your face, what do you still feel
the same?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Right? You're right, you probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
So when I was going through this work, my spiritual
leader said, you like to give. The question is why?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
M hmm. What was your answer?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Well, you know, I think I'm naturally giving. Well, so
the question comes if they throw it back in your face,
will you feel the same or are you given? When
you feel good? You're given because it's part of your
self value.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
What about when giving makes you feel good?
Speaker 2 (39:52):
The question is why?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Right? And why do you feel like when I see
someone that I give and I see the jo way,
that's what brings me true happiness. I mean, I'm sorry
happiness because I have to, I guess, identify true happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
It brings you a moment of joy joy right?
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Why?
Speaker 2 (40:11):
It's identifying and triggering something in your life that feels fulfilled.
And usually at least in my personal journey, Because again,
I'm not a neurologist's a psychologists, I'm not in any
way professional trained, but I can talk about my own
value is I genuinely do feel like I like to
(40:32):
help people, but in that genuine part of helping somebody.
So most times it also comes with the not looking
inside because I am looking for that fulfillment in something external.
Sometimes it's giving to people. Sometimes it's accomplishing and getting
(40:53):
a nice award. Sometimes is you know, having a woman say, hey,
you look good. Sometimes, whatever it is. If there's one
thousand and one triggers that can trigger these things in
all of us, the truth is you shouldn't need any
of them, right. The truth is everything you need is
(41:13):
already inside of you. You're already okay.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
There's literally nothing that you need. You don't need the more,
the money, you actually don't need to give, right, You
don't need any of these things to be okay. Now.
When you're okay, then all those actions become secondary things. Today.
(41:41):
But you're okay, the question is did you feel okay?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Right?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And that's the hard thing to face in the mirror
because nobody's arrived. I don't care if you're a pastor
of the biggest spiritual leader or an author, a psychologist,
no one has arrived. We all have trauma, we all
have fears, do you feel it?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Sometimes traumas that people can identify. And this is why, well, I.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Would say most of it is prisoners we create that
are really difficult to come out because we've been taught
that difficult is scary, right when you've mastered in business,
and when you talked about no fears, because in business,
you've been taught and you've seen people around you, whether
(42:52):
that's family otherwise, not have a fear in making money.
So you've identified that as that to my security got
it just like me. I saw my family, my mother
not have that fear to go out and get the money,
and that made me, oh, I could do it all.
(43:15):
But that other part over here, the part that she
didn't teach me how to deal with, the part that
she doesn't deal with, the part that most successful people
don't deal with. That's that part I'm not gonna touch.
I'm gonna leave locked up in the box and put
it to the side side. I'm going to make it
a bunch of other things. I'm going to say, is
everything else, but I'm not gonna touch that. What But
(43:41):
that's the work. And I think that when you've been
able to accomplish the things we have you really quickly
start realizing how there's something missing because you got there
and you still feel this empty thing this Oh and
sometimes you think it's because you're not big enough, you know,
(44:05):
like you just wanted to Walmer. Well, you don't need Wan,
we need wal More, Target, you need you know, Amazon,
you need it. I need it all. I need the world.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I need to be in everyone's household. Yeah, and that
I'm chasing the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You said the word You're chasing the key to success,
to attract, not to chase, to chase. Crazy right, Yes,
it's really it's really crazy interesting. Let me ask you
something now that you know this, right, we've had this conversation.
If I was a genie and I can give you
anything you want, what would that.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Be Definitely to tap into that inner that you speak of,
that inner to just be able to identify it more
and work on it. I think that's what I would
love to do, because I, yeah, you really have to
(45:01):
work within out.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I love that. Let's go back to your strengths, right,
because I think a lot of young women are going
to watch this and they're you know, going through different
life circumstances. Today. We live in a society where or
beauty is defined by how many likes or you know,
there's a standard look to how a woman should feel
or look in order to get men's attention, or so
(45:26):
called story that you know has been fed to the masses.
When you look at those girls and they say, hey,
I I would love to be successful, have a business
to overcome some of these hardships that have come. What
advice can you give those young women?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I feel it it depends where you're at right in life.
It's it's hard to tell someone to block things out when,
like you said, society, it's so like you know, you
have to look a certain way, you have to be
a certain way. I believe just being true to yourself.
I feel like even we all as women, we all
(46:07):
go through that like oh maybe I should do this
or maybe I should do that just to feel a
little bit better. But I truly believe if you take
what you have from within and work on that which
obviously now I realize I need to do more. And
that's the thing. Right, you never stop working on yourself,
(46:27):
right you never You should never stop working on yourself.
But I think love yourself more than anything. I believe
because nobody can make you happy, so in a relationship, etc.
So I think as women, it all depends where we
are in life, and I would definitely tell them to
love themselves first and foremost, and then see what you're
(46:50):
truly passionate about and go for that. Don't jump ship
so many times, like focus on one thing and give
it your all, and don't chase money, because I truly
believe when you love what you do, the money will follow.
Just go with the flow and see how that and
please do not rush the journey. I feel like everyone's
(47:13):
story is so beautiful, but everyone wants to jump, especially
with the word the day and age that we live
in where everyone just wants to be an influence or
do certain things on socio and things. It's gonna happen overnight.
It doesn't, It doesn't. It's a journey, and you should
enjoy that journey because it's actually beautiful and it's your
story and no one, no one's story is exactly alike.
(47:33):
So I think that is what's most important as a woman,
And I would tell a fellow female trying to be
successful as a business woman, it's.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
It's versus you.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
You're right, I'm gonna call you say guess what.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah, yeah, it's you versus you.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Do you think it's because sometimes I've been and it's
so long that that's what I've attracted.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
The same rules that apply to all the amazing things
you've done in business, and you've attracted them, same rules
apply the other way. There's no there's no different science
to it. Yeah, it's just it's your mind that it
believes what you're telling it what you and I think that.
That's that's why I say, you've got to watch our
story so much, you know, because we're with ourselves more
(48:30):
than anybody else. One of the tools that I've learned
to use to help me with that is to learn
my body, my body language. So when my body is
when you're normally thinking about maybe it's not meant to
be for me, mm hmm, your body changes.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Do you get those moments? Have you had panic attacks
or any of that stuff?
Speaker 2 (48:58):
You know more than I would say attacks. I get
the anxiety of stress right, like I identify the problem
that's happening, and my door in me is like you
have to go into action, and that's stressful because I
(49:18):
don't know the outcome. And while I trust my ability,
there's always the what if. And so I've learned to
notice that, or notice this, or notice and be like,
oh whoa stop to stop.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Do you ever have a moment where you're just like
giving someone an attitude and deserve it?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Have you come to the point where you go back
and say you didn't deserve that? My apologies?
Speaker 2 (49:55):
Yeah? And at first I struggle with the difference between
setting boundaries and learning how to become, and I realize
that the learning how to become is my responsibility.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Do you feel that they're people who love you get
the least of you because you are always on you know?
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I think do they get the attitudes? Do they get
the lashes?
Speaker 3 (50:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Or whoever's around you at that moment?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I would say historically, yes, historically, I'm very I would
say levels set Emotionally, Historically, I don't say I get angry.
I get frustrated. It's like a very different thing. It's
like I get frustrated with the fact that something's not
going the way I want and it drives me nuts
and I want to go off, you know. And I
(50:44):
started to realize it's fear.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But what about when people they tell you why are
you angry? And it's like, I'm not frustrated.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Well, but the truth is it comes all the way
from fear. It comes from me registering this thing that
has happened, right, It happened to me a lot, honestly,
in relationships, I historically would be like the knight in
Shining Armor, like, oh my god, Lex is the greatest
man in the world, and then fear kicked in. It's like, oh,
(51:15):
but it's this the pression what not. But it's like,
I might make a bad decision of my feeling, but
I failed in this part before. And then the girl
would say something that I know is to be truth,
but it made me feel less than enough because it
registered through the point of feeling like, I mean, she
thinks I'm not enough. I'm no longer the knighting shining Armor. Well,
(51:37):
she making me feel like that she's too problematic. I
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
That is so true, But it's really that the fear
that I'm not enough. She's just speaking.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Why would you treat.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
You're not enough? With all your accomplishments and you were
just a shining armor yesterday? Why not today?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Because little Lex, that little guy I am there one
day registered that maybe he wasn't enough that maybe his
dad having another daughter with a different person meant that
it was enough that maybe someone telling him one day, whatever,
(52:16):
don't do that, you're not going to be good at that.
By the way, it took me thirty five years to
figure that shit out about that, Okay, for it took
me thirty five years of my life to.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Figure out what having this conversation with you, it's allowing
me to figure certain things out. And you're saying, well,
maybe when I just looked at it, like okay, that's
just tough love, right, And it's just like, well, you
didn't do this, and you didn't do that. Or there's
always that one person who's like, I'm going to continue
(52:46):
to bust your chops no matter what, and I'm like,
let's say I can do an amazing speech, get off.
And then that certain person who's like your role model,
not my mom, by the way, she just loves everything
I do. I may say you did great, but you
could have did this and a registers and I think
(53:08):
throughout your whole life, and it's almost like I'm always
gonna I'm always going to be the realist one with you,
and it's like, okay, but it's I need to also hear.
Speaker 3 (53:17):
This, you know.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
But that's the story as well, because the truth is,
chances are that person's also dealing with the trauma that's
causing that person to do that.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Which I've come to understand. So it's like, okay, this
is this is just what you were taught and what
traumas you were embedded than you and and so forth.
So I have, but sometimes you can't continue to that's
generational curses without even realizing it.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I have an exercise that I do every time to
end our beautiful time together. Okay, we talked about the
power of words and how we tell our mind, right,
and we've talked about and touched on how your mind receives.
I can tell you I love you, or I can
(54:10):
tell you something bad, and it'll receive you. You can
read that same in the text and your body will
still go. Our words have power. So what is one
word or one phrase that Keanna could tell herself right
now that could change her mind, her body, and soul
perceived the world today and the rest of this week.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
One thing I would tell myself is really tapping go deeper,
Go deeper. It's okay, you know, to let go and
just really love yourself more to be able to then
be a force or really focus on that first can.
Speaker 3 (54:53):
Thank you so much, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
I appreciate our time together and I look forward to
having many, many more conversations. I give you your flowers.
You're an incredible woman. Thank you, you know, not only
for the amazing things you've accomplished in business, but every
interaction I've had the pleasure of sharing with you has
(55:16):
been pleasant, has been amazing. I clap from afar, but
I do, and I thank you and appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
But I sometimes it's when you need it the most,
you know, without you even knowing. But maybe that's the universe.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Saying, maybe that's definitely you know saying thank you for sharing,
uh you know, into it parts. Thank you for going
on this journey. I enjoy every second of our conversation
and I look forward to having many, many more.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
Thank you, Thank you, thank you for having me. I feel,
like I mentioned to you before, it's just being able
to have amazing conversations with people who are like minded
or just on similar journeys. So it means the world
to me that you had me on your amazing news show.
And I wish you the world of success, continue success
(56:05):
and as well, you know I'm always rooting for you
as well. And yeah, I wish the best for you
and thank you for having me and I will continue
to have those conversations with you of just growth, growth
in every way.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
Love it, Thank you, Thank you, you versus you. As
a production of Neon sixteen and Entertained Studios in partnership
with the Iheartmichael to that podcast network for more podcasts,
listen to the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
So for me, success is true happiness.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What is true happiness?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Right?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
What's true happiness to you? So my name is Keana Ebilez.
I am a serial entrepreneur in the beauty and fashion space.
You start realizing that another zero in your bank account
really doesn't define anything. I definitely believe just your time
and I think that's our greatest possession because it doesn't
wait for anyone.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But now you're on the value of time. So was
it worth it? Wow? Kenna, welcome to you versus you.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Thank you, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm very, very excited to have this conversation. As we
were just sharing, we got a chance to meet on
a panel that I don't even know how I ended
up in that panel to hundred percent honest, I was
thinking about of the you know today because I was like, oh,
that's where we met. I don't even know how I
ended up in that panel, but it's the beautiful things
that life does to connect to people, and I think
ever since then, we've been able to share. First of all,
(00:58):
I share the joy of of the amazing things that
are happening in your career, and I've been able to
also share some of the conversations we'll be having today.
So I'm excited to get into it. But first, you know,
I want to give you some flowers. So let's start
with your business trajectory. Right. You own five different businesses
in the beauty space. What would you say has been
(01:21):
the biggest key in making those successful?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I want, I definitely believe it's like the drive behind it, right,
the consistency and just always showing up, you know, I
think it's very important. And just the relationships that I've
built in different in the different businesses. And I always
believe in just pouring back. So I think that shows
(01:47):
in whether it's in my team. Might never call people employees,
et cetera, but I think that that's a key to
a lot of the success that I've accomplished so far.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
What is it about out calling them team instead of employees?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I feel like we both need each other, you know.
I feel like we compliment one another. Well, so it's
like you know the old saying, one hand wash the other,
two wash the face. So yeah, that's how I believe.
And I and not only that, I think they bring
so much value as well, and just being respecting them
(02:25):
as individuals. So I think That's why I like to
call people, and I think we do it together as
a unit, not just me.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
What do you consider your own strengths to be?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Ah, I think we mentioned this before too, right, like
just this burning desire inside of me, and before we
spoke a little bit about I just feel that it's
funny how you mentioned that all these things are within you,
and sometimes we're always like, what's the next thing, what's
(02:58):
the next thing? But it's obviously within you. So I
do feel that that's one of the things, the burning
desire that I have inside of me to continue to
want to grow in every sense of the word, not
just as an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Where do you think that desire comes from.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I think, you know, just help on beginnings and everything
that you're exposed to at a certain age, and maybe
even conversations that we've may have heard, like you have
to do this, you have to you know, just to succeed,
and before you know it, it's pretty much embedded in
you without you even realizing. It's just me. I don't
know if I was born this way or but it's
(03:36):
definitely just me to have that just burning drive inside
of me that doesn't seem to fizzle for some reason.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's interestingly you said it's embedded in you, right, because
I think it shows you how your brain is so
much like a computer. Right. It takes where you give
it and it starts to implement it as its own law.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
But it does that with the good and the bad.
I think in people who become successful in business or
professional athletes, there is a drive that is embedded in
our programming hip that allows us to kind of persevere. Right, right,
the question becomes at what costs?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Very true?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
What do you feel that having that drive has cost you?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Oh, friendships, I mean so many things. I feel like
more so as I just stated to you before we
started rolling, it's just outgrows certain situations. But I feel time,
sharing with family, with friends, people who really matter to you.
(04:46):
I feel like all those things you definitely compromise for
what you believe at the time could be the greater
good for many things, whether it's for you, for your family,
for society. Right. So, I definitely believe just your time,
and I think that's our greatest possession because it doesn't
wait for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Annoying now, right, because I think when you start, you
don't see the or you don't understand the value of
time because you have this goal. Just like again, professional
athletes us that were like I want this, this, this, this, this, this, this. Right,
then you get to a certain point where you've accomplished enough,
right or we might seem like enough because for people
(05:32):
that are driven like you and I, sometimes enough is
not enough. But now you know the value of time.
So was it worth it?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah? I think so. I think some people, some individuals,
certain things have an expiration date and it's okay. And
to be quite honest, for I can speak for myself,
I think it's definitely been worth it. And it's actually
it was a blessing in disguise at the time that
(06:03):
I may have not realized. So I'm actually happy that
I've made the decisions that I made.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
What is success to you?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Back then? When I before I reach success and you
start realizing that another zero in your bank account really
doesn't define anything. It's just that just a material thing.
I mean, if we have some type of outage or
something in the banking, say, who would really be right?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Like?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
So for me, success is true happiness and also being
able to just pour back into other people and having
the means to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
What is true happiness?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Right? Right? I think that's what I'm identifying or every
day continue to want to obtain true, true happiness. I'm
happy because I can do and do the things I want.
But right what does true happiness really look at? That
look like at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What if I told you that I had nothing to
do with your success, would it make you stop?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And no?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Because, like I said, I think for me, it's not
just about me anymore. It's about others. So until I
maybe even if I can impact I don't know a
few people for me that it allows me to keep going.
But if you said, if it was if it was
in me and I can stop, sure, why not? I
want to live a soft life, you know. But yeah,
(07:35):
it's interesting. What is true happiness? What's true happiness to you?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
If you would have asked me that maybe a year ago,
I would have told you accomplishing more. I would have
told you, like you know, being able to do more,
being able to give back more to people, being able
to continue to supply the dreams of my families and
of my team and of my clients. And but I
very quickly found out that that is a story I
(08:00):
tell myself because the race never ends, and you'll always
try to find something else you want more. And in
the pretty car you just bought, it's not as pretty
as the one you just saw. You know, the things
that you want to do for other people, You very
quickly find out they're humans just like you, and they'll
make decisions for themselves just like you will, and you
(08:24):
start understanding that all these things are or at least
I started to understand that all these things became excuses,
became stories that I told myself in order to feel
like what I was doing had purpose.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Do you feel as humans? We will ever stop as
human beings? Saying oh I obtained this now, I couldn't
go on to the next it ever, is Lex ever
going to hit a spot where he's like, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I think the realization of you versus you, the realization
that it was never going to stop as well, brought
me to a place that said, I actually don't need
any of this. And some people might say, well, you
say that because you have it, but I think it's
if I would have never had it, I would have
always questioned, oh, I feel this way because I don't
(09:17):
have it I feel this way because I'm not this
massively successful person that people think it's cool. But then
you get there and you realize you actually never needed it. Right.
The concept that we don't have time for our families
because we are working towards our dream and this needs
this much of dedication. It's a story that we believe
(09:43):
and then we live by that, not realizing that there's
a complete opposite of that. About three years ago, I
or two years ago, I had to make the change
between being an entrepreneur and a CEO, and it's two
very different things. Right, entrepreneur, You're you're going everything is possible,
every hardship feels like death, but at the same time
(10:05):
you're like, I can accomplish the world. Then you realize
this is a job. In the middle of that, I
was having a conversation with another really accomplished CEO and
he was like, hey, let's what do you what are
you doing this year? Like what's your travel plans? And
I'm like, dude, what do you mean, Like I don't
know what my next week is because I'm always changing.
He said to me, ha haha, Well you're not rich
(10:26):
enough then, and I was like, that's interesting. I said,
here's the thing, le A CEO doesn't get paid to
do the work. He gets paid to be the vision.
And you can't be the vision when you're so your
time is all consumed in the work absolute And I
was like, oh wow, I hadn't thought about it like that.
(10:48):
And then I implemented that into my internal work and said, well,
that's actually the reality in everything in my life is
that everything has just been a story I told myself
in order to feel fulfilled, in order to fill this
hole that I'm trying to feel called happiness. But it's
really hard to have joyful moments where your security is
(11:11):
based on what happens that day, on how much money
the bank account has, or the nice car that you drive,
or you know the man or the woman that you're dating,
or if your parents that day dator didn't do something,
or if your team did or did that something right.
Your happiness is always writing on these things that are uncontrollable,
(11:31):
so that it begs the question again, do you need
all of that to be happy?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Absolutely not, And then it begs the question again, when
is it enough?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
And also when you said, entrepreneur and ceo, how did
you relinquish, Like, how did you start letting go and
actually being a CEO.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
By realizing that I don't actually control anything?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
It's another story. I tell myself, Right, I have to
take this job. I have to write this email, I
have to send this, I have to box this, have
to do this, I have to run, I have to jump. No,
you actually don't have to, because here's the truth. How
many times have you planned something? How many times you've
created a product and thought of everything and then it
doesn't work?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Very true?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
How many times you've said, oh my god, today it's
a beautiful day, I'm gonna weare this you come out
and starts raining.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, very true.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You generally don't control anything. But we've been taught that
we have to be the drivers, Like you cannot be
successful unless you drive.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
The car right, almost like we've been taught to kind
of control your own destiny when it's really not not.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
That way, when you're just a vessel. And I've shared
this a couple of times in the conversations, which is
I realize the right at the back of the car.
It's a lot nicer than being the driver.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I say that all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's nice, but we don't take that concept into our lives,
and so we sacrifice time, we sacrifice our emotions, we
sacrifice all these things because we think that the result
of that will be success and happiness. Because you want
success to be happy, right, right, Because if money has
(13:21):
no value to you and you're happy being you know,
a hippie who skates around Lizbeth the beach, right, then
happiness and money that don't. Actually, it's not a mathematical
question that makes sense, right, The mapping mathing exactly, the
mathing and mathing. And that leads me to my next question, Right,
(13:43):
what are you afraid of?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I think we I spoke about this earlier. I don't
know why I am this way, and I know it
might sound crazy, but I don't give those words power. Afraid, scared,
I don't give them power. I feel like I've been
through too much and sacrifice too much in life to
have moments like this and be afraid or shy away
(14:08):
from them. So I'm really not afraid of failing. No,
I'm not. I don't believe that. So I'm actually trying
to be Besides I mice or snakes, I don't really
identify with something that I'm afraid of. I don't know
if it's because of everything I've either overcome or so,
(14:28):
I'm not not sure.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
To be quite honest, do you feel stressed?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, but only for a few moments, Like I don't
let it consume me.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What stress is here?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It could be something like, oh, I have to get
this accomplished, or I have to do this by a
certain time. Even when that's going on, it may happen.
I might get stressed at the moment, but I let
it go. So I'll have a moment, but I won't
make it like a monument.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
What do you tell yourself to let it go?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I pray and before you know it, it says it. It's
never happened. Oh, it's not happening. Like sitting here now,
like you know you have goals to accomplish. You know,
you have huge goals to accomplish, and it's like, all right,
it still hasn't hit yet, or something hasn't, but I'm
sitting here having a conversation with you as if it did.
(15:19):
So I don't know. I want to maybe identify, like
what am I fearful of or what because I don't
think I am. I face moments in my life where
it could have been end all, be all, And at
those moments, I've felt a sense of like a wosaw,
(15:41):
like I'm ready to face the music. So that's why
I'm trying to identify what is that really? And I
never understand where so many people are so afraid to
take the leap of faith. That doesn't register to me.
So I would love to understand that better.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You would love to understand why it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
No, what is everyone so afraid of or fearful of?
I try to. I really want to understand that concept.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It's interesting because fear is a story, right, I think
that's and that just happens to be maybe a muscle
you have, maybe stronger than other people. But fear conceptually
is the lack of trust that everything will be okay.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
It's interesting, right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Because your brain is registering something that for many people
I would say is very similar, right, like jumping into
a business. I agree with you, I don't fear starting
something right like that has no I'm like a natural
firestarter in that sense. But in that process there's also
(16:48):
the fear of what if all these things that I'm
doing is still not it Okay, that ultimately leads you
to figure out why you don't define and happiness because
the supplement of work and accomplishment usually creates a deficiency
(17:08):
somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Right, very true.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
What part of your life do you feel there's a deficiency.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
We got to figure it out. We have to figure
it out, because it's definitely something that now that you
put it that way, it's interesting because it's really two
of the same.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Is there an area of your life that you feel
you've had to sacrifice for success that you, looking back,
maybe wish that you wouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, I'm not married, nor do I have children, So
that was a sacrifice. Why Because that's all I was
focused on was work And I kept saying I remember
people were asking, what are you gonna have kids? And
I'm like another two years, not two years? And they're like,
you've been saying that the last five and it's like
you don't realize that. I'm like, maybe if I wasn't
(18:02):
so focused on work or being driven, it would have happened.
You know. It's like I've been forced to play these
roles that it's almost also masculine at the same time, Right,
Like some women don't always want to lead all the time.
So I think that's a huge sacrifice family and children.
(18:26):
I think that's a huge sacrifice as a woman especially.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
And I'm just intrigued, right because honestly, I understand it
right in my personal life again, the story, because it's
all stories, the idea and the story that I need
to go after all this or also caused a lot
of relationships to not work out, or so I thought
(18:52):
that it was because of work, and then I started
to understand that there's a lot of other things deeper
than that. And as I identify those things, I started
to realize that I just wasn't willing to learn them
right because I think sometimes we sometimes it's always easier
to blame somebody else, absolutely always easier to be like, nah,
(19:15):
that girl she ain't doing this and doing that, or
this guy doing this, and then that it's a lot
harder to look in the mirror. Is there things that
you feel that relationships have taught you or the lack
of relationships have taught you that life is still trying
to teach you. Maybe you're not listening.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yes, of course, I feel like what how I felt
in my yester years is totally different, or I have
a different point of view, and I've learned patience, just
a lot of things, especially when dealing with another individual
you have another someone else in your life. So yes, absolutely,
(19:57):
I do feel that I've learned in that, I mean, grow,
have grown in that department in regards to But at
the same time, I'm like, yeah, I don't think it
was me. You know, I'm not the common denominator for sure.
(20:17):
H m hmmm.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
What would you say is the common denominator?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Maybe just timing? Timing sometimes where people are in life,
it could be a number of things.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Would you say that that's where you want the most
right now? A family?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Absolutely? Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Are you where we out of it? This is gonna
turn into a hot one for information and how.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yes I think I was. But again, sometimes you pick
the partner you know may have done that already and
you guys are not on the same playing fields, which
I feel sometimes you men need to be honest from
the door, you know, just not to waste anyone's time.
(21:18):
I think both parties should be honest from the door.
Shou not waste anyone's time, because some men, when they're
faced with those decisions making they're.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like, oh wow, so why do you think that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Is some men have been so damaged in the past
when they found that person, they run away from it
because they don't want to feel hurt again. Interesting, and
I know that for a fact because I've been told that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
In the work. I started to realize is we are
all just hurt people, right. We are all looking at
things from a POV of our filter. So when we
look at something in a lovingly present, when we look
at a woman or the circumstance or even an argument
(22:07):
right from a loving heart, you are open to the
fact that your POV is not law. And then when
we see something being bad, it's fear. Right, it's fear
that whatever you are doing is making me maybe less
than or not as good, or as touching on an
(22:28):
insecurity that I have that is being triggered by whatever
you are bringing up in my life. And I think
the common denominator in human in the human condition is
whether that's a relationship with your team or a relationship
with a brother, a sister, a father, a daughter, or
a relationship, is that we take our POV and we
(22:53):
want to make it law, not realizing that we're just
filtering the information, through our trauma, through our life lessons,
and the fear.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Here we go with that word again.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It's interesting, you know why, because it's a word that
I think when you're successful, you don't register as much
as normal people register it because most people don't kind
of accomplish their dreams out of fear, right, most people
quit right before the final life. When you're a successful person, successful,
(23:31):
when you when you've accomplished things right, you tend to
have that as a strong part of your mind. But
it's usually intended to hide something else because it usually
leads us to accomplishing what we want. And then when
(23:53):
the door is closed and you're by yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You're dealing with yourself, and you're.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Dealing with yourself. So what is Kara dealing with?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Ah, well, we just tapped into one, you know, just
like is it meant for me?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Is it not.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Accepting it right? And moving forward with that? And just
pretty much at this point, it's you know, making sure
my family is okay and so forth, and just obviously
you know, obstacles that come about with your business and
wanting to succeed. But I think I have to like
(24:39):
break that down further, you know, because that's like on
the on the surface, right, Like how do you break
it down even further to really see? Because you stand
in the mirror, right, you look at yourself. You have
to be honest with yourself. That's the one and only
time like this is this is it?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
This is you that you're looking at. But it's like,
let's go deeper, you know what I mean. So that's
something that I would definitely want to do, Like what
am I facing? What am I really really dealing with?
I can't be this strong, you know what I mean? Like,
so it's like definitely, I don't. I don't know. I
(25:20):
don't feel like am what am I really dealing with?
You're right when I'm alone? Besides making it happen, like
making everything happen.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, it's interesting. I think this is what led to
this podcast because again, everybody sees accomplished people as like superheroes,
but the truth is most of us are having a
hard time facing that mirror and identifying as good as
we are to solve problems for everything else in our lives.
(25:53):
Then when it gets to our emotional and then we
feel guarded because we you know, the story is, we
can't show that, right you know that's a sign of weakness.
And there sharks in the water, they're gonna combite me. Right,
But we start living with this trauma.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Do you think we live with it or just like
sugarcoat it, just put a blanket over it, because as
you're living with it, you just like brush it onder
the rug more and more or any into your inner self?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Is that what you're I think we.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Like to pretend that it's things that you can shove
or you can hide, but they're not because the moment
you're with yourself, you're asking yourself is it meant for me?
Is it not?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And actually accepting that. I don't think it's it's hard
for anyone to want to really accept that, right, But it's.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
An interesting concept for someone who's so successful as you,
because if I would tell you that in business, you
would probably tell me what am I accepting? Defeat? Are
you kidding? Honey? Look at all I've done? But your
(27:08):
mind doesn't register that in your personal life mm hmm.
Your mind speaks what you've been teaching it m hm.
And Kenna's been teaching her mind that maybe is not
meant for her, so that same I don't have a
fear in business, it's the.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Fear of not having a family children. Got It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
And you're not registering the same level of intensity you're
doing business in your personal life because it causes you
to face the fear.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
And the fear comes from trauma, gotcha. So the question
becomes when traumas?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Do you feel led up to that?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And when did it start?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And when did it start?
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's interesting how your brain works.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Right absolutely, sometimes without you even realizing it. Would you
say that's your subconscious mind?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, I'd say that your subconscious holds into every information
and it registers I would say in my personal experience.
I'm not a neurologist or an expert in this field,
but it registers the emotion that causes sends that to
(28:32):
your mind instead of registering what actually caused it. So
you feel the fear, but you can't truly understand.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Where it's coming from from.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
And so the work comes because it's very much a computer.
Where did it start that I am afraid of not
having a family?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Well maybe as you get older and it's not happening,
So you're like, oh, you know, but I guess I
maybe a betted.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
It in Can you see what your mind just did
create an excuse for itself. I'm going to use your
strong side again.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
If I would have told you that in your business side,
would you've ass up to that.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
No? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Would you said to me like your you're crazy buddy.
Your brain just brought up, made your mouth open, and
it used an excuse for itself. If I tell you, okay,
are your age? Can you become successful again? If you
had to start from zero.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I would say yes, I would.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
So does age play a number on it or not?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
It doesn't. I'm making an excuse.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Brain is making an excuse.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Wow. I never looked at it that way. I mean
they do say, you know, speak into existence the things
you want and desire. But I guess I never looked
at this this way because I would always just say, like, whatever,
if it's meant to be to be another excuse? Is
that another excuse?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
But I'm just surprised because kind of the business woman
would have never accepted that.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
No. And it's funny because I, I mean, this is
maybe a little personal, but I have rolls in my eggs,
et cetera. Because I was almost determining, like this is
how it's going to go down. You know, like, but
I shouldn't do that. Definitely shouldn't do that. Okay, So
(30:32):
after this conversation, I might go out and it may happen.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Again. It might happen.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
It will happen your words.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Remember, your brain does not know the difference between reality
and what you're telling. And you ever bought a car
or you started looking at a car. This is the
best example because I think it happens to everybody. You
ever bought a or one of let's call it, a
g wagon in blue, and all of a sudden you
(31:04):
start seeing gea wagons in blue. Oh, there you go.
And then you start seeing it, You're like, oh my god,
I never noticed. Your brain took it and the blues
were always around you. You just never give it the
importance in your brain. So your brain is registering, hey,
this might not be for you.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So the man that's for you might be right in
front of you. You might not even see it because you're
telling your brain that it might not be for it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Right, very true.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Everything else you haven't accomplished while you have goals. In
our conversation, you pointed out the most important thing, right,
Your number one goal is the one goal you're lying
to your mind about.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Wow, definitely interesting way to look at it. Thank you
for bringing that up.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know what's amazing to me how our mine works.
It's so crazy and how we tell it. All these
stories as safeguards to not look at the trauma. But
the trauma is there right somewhere in your lifespan. You
(32:18):
felt that fear for the first time. M And what
I realized in my personal work is that little les,
sometimes I gotta go back and be like, hey, listen,
look at this, you're actually okay. I would say that
having that moment to yourself to understand that feeling and
(32:42):
where it came from, will give you a starting point
and then comes the the work right right, the programming,
the reprogramming, the part that needs you to use that
same motivation and that same determination and that same discipline
(33:03):
that you use in your business.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
For yourself makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
But that reprogramming is doable, just like you can reprogram
yourself too.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But how do you you know, with so much going on,
It's it's a lot of work, right that you have
to do. Obviously, once you've accepted it, you understand it,
But how does that then go to actually applying it
with all the noise that's around everything you have to do,
everything you have to accomplish, because that's not You've got
(33:35):
to feed your mind something totally different than you've been
feeding it. And then, like, as you stated, this may
be one of the most important, but I'm sure there's
other things that I think of, but I'm so used
to telling it or making an excuse for it.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
You all the things you have to do. Yeah, do
you feel successful part of your identity?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Is there a number in mine where it's enough?
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Sort of? Why?
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Sort of.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Because if I obtain it, I haven't made a full
decision whether it's like, Okay, I'm done, I'm going to
set into the sunset. But I think if I make
that number, because when I again being so driven, once
I get there, I might want something else, And then
I think my job will never be completed because as
(34:31):
I said, it's no longer about me, It's about how
many people like can impact. I think your true purpose
in life is how many people you can help change
impact in your life. That's your true legacy. It's not
about money, it's not about none of that stuff. Your
true legacy is how many people you impacted while the
time you were here.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Let's share a story with you, Okay, because I'm loving
our conversation. Thank you, and I'm asking a thousand questions. No,
we don't listen, This could be as long as we
wanted to be right, we don't have to end anything.
I'm happy with that. But you know, people don't realize, like,
even though we've met before, we genuinely have never had,
(35:15):
first of all, a deep conversation. Let him know, like
outside of a couple of conversations here there. So to
me is really interesting because you define purpose as you know,
leaving a legacy helping people and being a part of people.
I had an opportunity where I went deep into myself, right.
I took three or four days off to like really
(35:38):
go deep into internal work, into doing some medicine work,
and to like really putting that out. When I got out,
I was sharing it with a client of mine. I
was like, oh, man, yeah, you know this is transformative.
And the client started crying and I was like wow.
I said, thank you because you doing this so that
(36:01):
I don't have to. And I was like huh, and
it clicked. You're only as good as you work on yourself.
So the real purpose of life is not everybody else.
It's another story. We set ourselves to protect ourselves from
(36:22):
having to look inside.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Where it's no longer about you. You're making it about.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Everyone else because you don't want to look inside.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Right, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
It's easier to judge everybody. As a matter of fact,
it's so much easier to give someone a compliment. You
can be like, oh my god, lex you look so handsome. Oh,
you're accomplishing so much, all this stuff. You wake up
in the morning you're like, oh I look fat today. Yeah,
this shirt doesn't look good on me.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
For me, it's like I haven't done enough, and people
around me are like, are you crazy or something? And
I'm like, it's not enough.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Of fear.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The one word that I constantly say, I don't have.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I do.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I guess I'm not identifying it.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Because you're using the same technique the other way. My
purpose and my value comes from helping others. That's really
the legacy. No, your real value and legacy comes from
working on you.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
But then how do you share that with others?
Speaker 2 (37:37):
That goes automatically, right. I get to share my internal
work with you today, and that helps you. We build community. Right.
The mind is like a computer. So there's things in
a computer that you're doing by yourself. You're listening to
this podcast, you're reading a book, the book I shared
(37:57):
with you. There's things in a computer. And I say
this in every podcast, but there's a thing in the
computers where you I need to call you to. We're like, hey, listen,
I don't know how to use self? Can you use it?
There you go? This is this this community, right, That's
why it's so important who you hang around with, Yes,
(38:18):
so important, the people that you have around you. This
is so important. Even sometimes again there's things that you
can get from parents, there's things that you can get,
but it's so important for you to realize what information
is coming in. And then there's times you need a
Google engineer because the computer is fright, you got to
take it to the genius bar, right, And that's that
(38:41):
next level of meditation. That's the next level of medicine work.
That's the next level where you need to unlock your
mind to understand. That is the level that goes deep,
deep inside internal. Because we have all these lessons, our
filter is how do I share it with other people?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Right?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Why do you want to share it? Yeah, because you
associate your self value and the value of your life
with giving. So if all the people you give to
throw it in your face, what do you still feel
the same?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Right? You're right, you probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
So when I was going through this work, my spiritual
leader said, you like to give. The question is why?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
M hmm. What was your answer?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Well, you know, I think I'm naturally giving. Well, so
the question comes if they throw it back in your face,
will you feel the same or are you given? When
you feel good? You're given because it's part of your
self value.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
What about when giving makes you feel good?
Speaker 2 (39:52):
The question is why?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Right? And why do you feel like when I see
someone that I give and I see the jo way,
that's what brings me true happiness. I mean, I'm sorry
happiness because I have to, I guess, identify true happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
It brings you a moment of joy joy right?
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Why?
Speaker 2 (40:11):
It's identifying and triggering something in your life that feels fulfilled.
And usually at least in my personal journey, Because again,
I'm not a neurologist's a psychologists, I'm not in any
way professional trained, but I can talk about my own
value is I genuinely do feel like I like to
(40:32):
help people, but in that genuine part of helping somebody.
So most times it also comes with the not looking
inside because I am looking for that fulfillment in something external.
Sometimes it's giving to people. Sometimes it's accomplishing and getting
(40:53):
a nice award. Sometimes is you know, having a woman say, hey,
you look good. Sometimes, whatever it is. If there's one
thousand and one triggers that can trigger these things in
all of us, the truth is you shouldn't need any
of them, right. The truth is everything you need is
(41:13):
already inside of you. You're already okay.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
There's literally nothing that you need. You don't need the more,
the money, you actually don't need to give, right, You
don't need any of these things to be okay. Now.
When you're okay, then all those actions become secondary things. Today.
(41:41):
But you're okay, the question is did you feel okay?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Right?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And that's the hard thing to face in the mirror
because nobody's arrived. I don't care if you're a pastor
of the biggest spiritual leader or an author, a psychologist,
no one has arrived. We all have trauma, we all
have fears, do you feel it?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Sometimes traumas that people can identify. And this is why, well, I.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Would say most of it is prisoners we create that
are really difficult to come out because we've been taught
that difficult is scary, right when you've mastered in business,
and when you talked about no fears, because in business,
you've been taught and you've seen people around you, whether
(42:52):
that's family otherwise, not have a fear in making money.
So you've identified that as that to my security got
it just like me. I saw my family, my mother
not have that fear to go out and get the money,
and that made me, oh, I could do it all.
(43:15):
But that other part over here, the part that she
didn't teach me how to deal with, the part that
she doesn't deal with, the part that most successful people
don't deal with. That's that part I'm not gonna touch.
I'm gonna leave locked up in the box and put
it to the side side. I'm going to make it
a bunch of other things. I'm going to say, is
everything else, but I'm not gonna touch that. What But
(43:41):
that's the work. And I think that when you've been
able to accomplish the things we have you really quickly
start realizing how there's something missing because you got there
and you still feel this empty thing this Oh and
sometimes you think it's because you're not big enough, you know,
(44:05):
like you just wanted to Walmer. Well, you don't need Wan,
we need wal More, Target, you need you know, Amazon,
you need it. I need it all. I need the world.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I need to be in everyone's household. Yeah, and that
I'm chasing the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You said the word You're chasing the key to success,
to attract, not to chase, to chase. Crazy right, Yes,
it's really it's really crazy interesting. Let me ask you
something now that you know this, right, we've had this conversation.
If I was a genie and I can give you
anything you want, what would that.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Be Definitely to tap into that inner that you speak of,
that inner to just be able to identify it more
and work on it. I think that's what I would
love to do, because I, yeah, you really have to
(45:01):
work within out.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I love that. Let's go back to your strengths, right,
because I think a lot of young women are going
to watch this and they're you know, going through different
life circumstances. Today. We live in a society where or
beauty is defined by how many likes or you know,
there's a standard look to how a woman should feel
or look in order to get men's attention, or so
(45:26):
called story that you know has been fed to the masses.
When you look at those girls and they say, hey,
I I would love to be successful, have a business
to overcome some of these hardships that have come. What
advice can you give those young women?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I feel it it depends where you're at right in life.
It's it's hard to tell someone to block things out when,
like you said, society, it's so like you know, you
have to look a certain way, you have to be
a certain way. I believe just being true to yourself.
I feel like even we all as women, we all
(46:07):
go through that like oh maybe I should do this
or maybe I should do that just to feel a
little bit better. But I truly believe if you take
what you have from within and work on that which
obviously now I realize I need to do more. And
that's the thing. Right, you never stop working on yourself,
(46:27):
right you never You should never stop working on yourself.
But I think love yourself more than anything. I believe
because nobody can make you happy, so in a relationship, etc.
So I think as women, it all depends where we
are in life, and I would definitely tell them to
love themselves first and foremost, and then see what you're
(46:50):
truly passionate about and go for that. Don't jump ship
so many times, like focus on one thing and give
it your all, and don't chase money, because I truly
believe when you love what you do, the money will follow.
Just go with the flow and see how that and
please do not rush the journey. I feel like everyone's
(47:13):
story is so beautiful, but everyone wants to jump, especially
with the word the day and age that we live
in where everyone just wants to be an influence or
do certain things on socio and things. It's gonna happen overnight.
It doesn't, It doesn't. It's a journey, and you should
enjoy that journey because it's actually beautiful and it's your
story and no one, no one's story is exactly alike.
(47:33):
So I think that is what's most important as a woman,
And I would tell a fellow female trying to be
successful as a business woman, it's.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
It's versus you.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
You're right, I'm gonna call you say guess what.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah, yeah, it's you versus you.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Do you think it's because sometimes I've been and it's
so long that that's what I've attracted.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
The same rules that apply to all the amazing things
you've done in business, and you've attracted them, same rules
apply the other way. There's no there's no different science
to it. Yeah, it's just it's your mind that it
believes what you're telling it what you and I think that.
That's that's why I say, you've got to watch our
story so much, you know, because we're with ourselves more
(48:30):
than anybody else. One of the tools that I've learned
to use to help me with that is to learn
my body, my body language. So when my body is
when you're normally thinking about maybe it's not meant to
be for me, mm hmm, your body changes.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Do you get those moments? Have you had panic attacks
or any of that stuff?
Speaker 2 (48:58):
You know more than I would say attacks. I get
the anxiety of stress right, like I identify the problem
that's happening, and my door in me is like you
have to go into action, and that's stressful because I
(49:18):
don't know the outcome. And while I trust my ability,
there's always the what if. And so I've learned to
notice that, or notice this, or notice and be like,
oh whoa stop to stop.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Do you ever have a moment where you're just like
giving someone an attitude and deserve it?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Have you come to the point where you go back
and say you didn't deserve that? My apologies?
Speaker 2 (49:55):
Yeah? And at first I struggle with the difference between
setting boundaries and learning how to become, and I realize
that the learning how to become is my responsibility.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Do you feel that they're people who love you get
the least of you because you are always on you know?
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
I think do they get the attitudes? Do they get
the lashes?
Speaker 3 (50:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Or whoever's around you at that moment?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I would say historically, yes, historically, I'm very I would
say levels set Emotionally, Historically, I don't say I get angry.
I get frustrated. It's like a very different thing. It's
like I get frustrated with the fact that something's not
going the way I want and it drives me nuts
and I want to go off, you know. And I
(50:44):
started to realize it's fear.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But what about when people they tell you why are
you angry? And it's like, I'm not frustrated.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Well, but the truth is it comes all the way
from fear. It comes from me registering this thing that
has happened, right, It happened to me a lot, honestly,
in relationships, I historically would be like the knight in
Shining Armor, like, oh my god, Lex is the greatest
man in the world, and then fear kicked in. It's like, oh,
(51:15):
but it's this the pression what not. But it's like,
I might make a bad decision of my feeling, but
I failed in this part before. And then the girl
would say something that I know is to be truth,
but it made me feel less than enough because it
registered through the point of feeling like, I mean, she
thinks I'm not enough. I'm no longer the knighting shining Armor. Well,
(51:37):
she making me feel like that she's too problematic. I
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
That is so true, But it's really that the fear
that I'm not enough. She's just speaking.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Why would you treat.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
You're not enough? With all your accomplishments and you were
just a shining armor yesterday? Why not today?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Because little Lex, that little guy I am there one
day registered that maybe he wasn't enough that maybe his
dad having another daughter with a different person meant that
it was enough that maybe someone telling him one day, whatever,
(52:16):
don't do that, you're not going to be good at that.
By the way, it took me thirty five years to
figure that shit out about that, Okay, for it took
me thirty five years of my life to.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Figure out what having this conversation with you, it's allowing
me to figure certain things out. And you're saying, well,
maybe when I just looked at it, like okay, that's
just tough love, right, And it's just like, well, you
didn't do this, and you didn't do that. Or there's
always that one person who's like, I'm going to continue
(52:46):
to bust your chops no matter what, and I'm like,
let's say I can do an amazing speech, get off.
And then that certain person who's like your role model,
not my mom, by the way, she just loves everything
I do. I may say you did great, but you
could have did this and a registers and I think
(53:08):
throughout your whole life, and it's almost like I'm always
gonna I'm always going to be the realist one with you,
and it's like, okay, but it's I need to also hear.
Speaker 3 (53:17):
This, you know.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
But that's the story as well, because the truth is,
chances are that person's also dealing with the trauma that's
causing that person to do that.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Which I've come to understand. So it's like, okay, this
is this is just what you were taught and what
traumas you were embedded than you and and so forth.
So I have, but sometimes you can't continue to that's
generational curses without even realizing it.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I have an exercise that I do every time to
end our beautiful time together. Okay, we talked about the
power of words and how we tell our mind, right,
and we've talked about and touched on how your mind receives.
I can tell you I love you, or I can
(54:10):
tell you something bad, and it'll receive you. You can
read that same in the text and your body will
still go. Our words have power. So what is one
word or one phrase that Keanna could tell herself right
now that could change her mind, her body, and soul
perceived the world today and the rest of this week.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
One thing I would tell myself is really tapping go deeper,
Go deeper. It's okay, you know, to let go and
just really love yourself more to be able to then
be a force or really focus on that first can.
Speaker 3 (54:53):
Thank you so much, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
I appreciate our time together and I look forward to
having many, many more conversations. I give you your flowers.
You're an incredible woman. Thank you, you know, not only
for the amazing things you've accomplished in business, but every
interaction I've had the pleasure of sharing with you has
(55:16):
been pleasant, has been amazing. I clap from afar, but
I do, and I thank you and appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
But I sometimes it's when you need it the most,
you know, without you even knowing. But maybe that's the universe.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Saying, maybe that's definitely you know saying thank you for sharing,
uh you know, into it parts. Thank you for going
on this journey. I enjoy every second of our conversation
and I look forward to having many, many more.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
Thank you, Thank you, thank you for having me. I feel,
like I mentioned to you before, it's just being able
to have amazing conversations with people who are like minded
or just on similar journeys. So it means the world
to me that you had me on your amazing news show.
And I wish you the world of success, continue success
(56:05):
and as well, you know I'm always rooting for you
as well. And yeah, I wish the best for you
and thank you for having me and I will continue
to have those conversations with you of just growth, growth
in every way.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
Love it, Thank you, Thank you, you versus you. As
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