Today Zuri is joined by the lovely Tayshia Adams who is the most recent star of ABC’s hit show The Bachelorette and the franchise’s first-ever biracial lead. Tayshia opens up like never before — sharing with Zuri what sexy means to her, her secret fear, the journey to embracing her biracial identity... and wedding details!! From Tayshia’s perfect bridal dress, to where she wants her & Zac to be in 5 years (does it involve kids?? We’ve got the answer!). Let us know your favorite part of the convo: @ZuriHall + @HotHappyMess.
Read the Shownotes for the full list of resources + links from today’s episode.
Recent episodes: if ya feel like bingeing:
ICYMI: Listen to Episode 12: The BEST. SEX. EVER. Episode. (What You’ve Been Too Shy to Ask!!)
ICYMI: Listen to Episode 9: How to Be Single & (Not Just Pretend to) Love It
ICYMI: Listen to Bonus Episode: The Craziest Single Years Sh#t We've Ever Done
Go back to the beginning --- ICYMI: Listen to Episode 1: How to Be Happy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hot Happy Mess. Celebrate your magic in the middle of
life's messes. Hi Happy. I'm Zurie Hall and this is
Hot Happy Mess. Hello, Hello, what is up? Welcome, Welcome,
Come one, come all to another episode of Hot Happy Mess.
(00:32):
I am your host, Zuri Hall, and this is where
we find the magic in the middle of our messes. Baby, Okay,
we're finding the magic in the middle of the messes,
and we are celebrating all that is hot, happy and
low key a mess in our lives at the same
damn time. Today, today I am joined by an absolute gem.
(00:55):
I'm so excited. You guys are gonna love this episode.
Tasha at She is the most recent star of ABC's
hit show The Bachelorette. She's also the first ever by
racial lead of the franchise, and she first appeared on
The Bachelor back in twenty nineteen Totally one over Bachelor Nation.
Was just so sweet and endearing and charming and stunning
(01:16):
and smart and quickly became a fan favorite. She then
returned to TV on the sixth season of Bachelor in
Paradise before she became the lead on The Bachelorette after Claire,
of course, pieced out early to be with Dale. Okay,
so Tasia ended her season with a ring spoiler alert,
I probably should have said that at the start. But also,
(01:37):
if you haven't watched by now, what are you doing? Okay?
So she is currently engaged, of course, to her now fiance,
Zach Clark. And if you love Tasha, if you're curious
to learn more about her, then we are diving into
everything and you're gonna want to hear it all, from
what sexy means to her to her secret fear. It
(01:58):
is hilarious. I share the same fear. And also, y'all,
I'm not even gonna get into it because I'm getting
worked up just thinking about it. Oh my god, disgusting.
I share a horror story that I just just don't
judge me, That's all I'm saying. Just know that it
had to do with me living in New York and
everything to do with my block and nothing to do
(02:20):
with my home life. Okay. So that's the teas on that. Um,
We're also going to talk about her embracing her biracial identity.
Tacious father is black, her mother is Latina, and she
feels very connected to both sides of her family's roots
and heritage and we are diving into her experiences growing
(02:40):
up and you know also if she felt any pressure
as the bachelorette because of how she identifies. We're also
talking about the Zach. We're talking all things Zack, her
dream wetting, the perfect dress, where she sees the two
of them in five years with city are they living in,
(03:01):
what are they doing for work? Does it involve kids?
I've got answers to all of it, but you gotta listen, enjoy.
Here's Tasia. Tasia, I'm super excited to have you on
Hot Happy Mess. We were just talking briefly about quarantine
life and slowly the world opening back up now that
it's becoming safer to do so. So, how are you
feeling in New York right now? You're good? Are we? Are?
(03:24):
We mixing and mingling a little bit. You're exactly able
to do a couple of dates, you know what. We
are good. And I have to say, I think this
is the perfect time for me to be here because
I feel like New York is definitely a world of
its sound. It's definitely its own vibe and it can
eat you alive if you're not ready to go, like
a hundred miles an hour so it's kind of nice
(03:45):
that I kind of get like a slow introduction, gotta
get my like, you know, on the ground, and hopefully
by the time the world comes back to normal, I
am ready to hit the ground running. What is the
first thing you want to do in New York once
you get New York and all its glory back? Oh?
I really want to do like a rooftop brunch. Oh
my god, that's so cute. That's like the easiest request,
(04:06):
how it really is. I would be like, so, I'm
thinking a helicopter tour around the stad room where you're
just mad extra I love that. That's just the sweetest
simple thing, you know. It's just like the views here
are so different than home. I think, like, I'm I
love architecture, and I love buildings, and um I keep
pointing them outains act like I've never even noticed that
building before, but like to see it from you know,
(04:29):
high up would be amazing. So and I love brunch.
So okay, all right, well we'll do a follow up
to see how that first roof shop brunch goes. I
want to kick things off with a rapid icebreaker. This
is what we do to kind of just warm up
our guests and just whatever comes to mind first, Let's
do it. Number one. The song that sums up my
week is oh, oh, shoot, well, I was just listening
(04:54):
to do Alipa and she makes me feel some type
of way. What type of things around the cornetation? How
we feel it? I'm doing God, but she just thinks
you want to sing and dance. I don't know, but shoot,
I wish I had an exact song. Just do You're
(05:15):
in a dual Leipa mood that I'm gonna okay. The
beauty product I swear by is oh, I swear by
skin Cuticals, blemish Age and Defense. Sah, all right, what
does sexy mean to you? Confidence? Like just feeling good
(05:36):
in your own skin, that's sexy. I am secretly terrified of,
oh my gosh, mice, and apparently there's a lot around here.
And I lived in New York for three years. I
was terrorized by one mouse for like two weeks. Three weeks.
I could not get that thing out of my house.
I cried every day every day it broke in from
(05:58):
the bodega up the street because it found the tiniest
little hole. Because their little bodies can squeeze through these
small holes and then pop back out on the other
side bigger. I see. I I don't know about all that.
I didn't even think about that stuff when I moved here,
and then all of a sudden I saw one, and
I'm like, Lord, have mercies that ever comes into my home.
I haven't. Please tell me it was outside of the house,
(06:20):
because there you have a third roommate. It's us that
in the mouse. Now I'm telling you started. Okay, so mice,
that's a that's a fair thing to be terrified. Up.
What is your favorite thing to cook? Oh? To cook.
I'm more of a baker, So if I could bake anything,
I love making like cumber lay um. What else do
(06:43):
I love to make? I love making, um, chocolate chip cookies. Okay,
we're talking like from scratch because I'm just breaking back
ten times better. I gotta step it up. I gotta
it up. I'll get the recipe from here. Okay, I
got the tools perfect. This's a leave closet that you
would love to write. Oh my gosh, Well, Rihanna or
(07:05):
is in Dia. Oh my god, she kills it every time.
Have you seen Malcolm and Maria? No? But it's because
I wanted to be in a like a space where
I had enough time to like actually sit in it.
It's not that I'm back in New York. Oh it
is going on the sekend Margharita's or Bloody Mary's. Oh
(07:29):
Margarita's hands down, Okay, Okay. I get secretly annoyed when
people call me uh t you correct them because people
call me zur and I used to just cringe. I'm
starting to think I'm going to have to tell them
to stop calling me that. I'm like, it's so much
easier to just finish the name. It's not not that hard.
(07:52):
It's I don't know what is or t t came
out of nowhere, but I get it's easier for people.
But it's like, it's not my name but right, but hey,
you feel like today is okay. It's grown on me.
So you're like, Tasia, call me by my love my name, Taia,
call her by her name, guys, Okay, Taia the beautiful name.
(08:13):
Call her it. Lastly, favorite place that you have ever
traveled to in your entire life. Oh mm hmmm, probably
I actually really loved Portugal. Portugal is insane. What was
the best part about Portugal? Um, the weather, it really
is similar to like Orange County, like California, and the
(08:34):
vibe is kind of like a Santa Barbara like Mediterranean vibe. Um,
but I just like there's it's more like in the country,
at least where I was. Um, it was just it
was really simple life, but it was studying and yeah,
alright there something wait is that the game plan? Are
we gonna move to Portugal and just live on a
(08:57):
farm because I'm here for it. I would love to. However,
I'm still trying to convince Zachary that, you know, you know,
the West coast the best coast, and so like that's
like an easier one than going to Portugal. So we're
the You're like, we're just trying to get to Calie first,
another country. I want to dive into kind of where
(09:19):
you are now and how you got there. Like, obviously
we've all followed your journey, um in the Bachelor Nation franchise,
watching you become the first biracial bachelorette. Um. But for
those who might still be newer to the naty gritty
of your story, UM, break it down for our hot,
happy mess gang over here. Um, how did you kind
of decide you know what, I want to step into
(09:41):
this world. I want to step into the world of
Bachelor Nation and just see what happens. Well, you know,
to be honest with you, UM, I didn't seek this out. UM.
It kind of actually came to me. UM. A couple
of my girlfriends actually nominated me for um Bachelor And
I was just at a place in my life where
(10:03):
I needed to do something for me because I had
been so long since I had done that, and I
had just been in such a place where why not. UM.
So when they gave me the phone when they first
called me, though I did, I did say no, and
I kind of like thought that for a very long time.
But what was the hesitation? I mean, it's TV. And
(10:27):
also I'm I'm actually a very private person, UM, and
like I had just gone through a divorce. And to
be honest with you, right when I got went through
my divorce, three people knew, not even I didn't tell
my best friends. I told my therapist, I told my mom,
and I told my pastor. And that's really it. And
the idea of going on something and it was I
(10:50):
knew it was going to break me to the point
where I had to open up and be vulnerable if
if this was gonna work. Scared the living daylights out
of me to come out and talk about something I
was highly ashamed end. So, Um, that was really my
first hesitation. Got it, that's fair. Yeah, it's you, and
I love that you did. I'm glad that you bring
(11:11):
up the the idea of shame right around divorce or
around you know, a relationship not working because oftentimes, I think,
especially as women, we've been taught or conditioned to feel like,
whether it's our fault or not, I failed, I didn't
make this work. I said I do, and now I
don't and I failed, And I really, um, I wish
(11:33):
that that would evolve and that we could move beyond
this idea that if something doesn't work out. Um, we
completely dropped the ball. Some things have chapters, they end
and you move on. Um. What got you to the
point if you ever got there that you were able
to shake that shame off or do you feel like
that was sort of a shadow for a long time
(11:54):
after the divorce? Mm hmm, you know, it was a
shadow for a while until truly it was the show
that really made me feel empowered and confid again in
myself because I was able to share like my darkness
(12:15):
like secret if you will, at the time with someone
that I was hoping to fall in love with. And
he didn't like see me as damaged goods or he
didn't see me as like that's not something he could
get past. And it was kind of an eye opening
experience because I was my self esteem was so low,
Like it was like, why are you even looking at me?
(12:35):
Like when someone was trying to give me attention or
or you know, was flattering me, I didn't understand it.
That's how low my self esteem was. And so for
him to be able to be like I'm here for you,
I'm comforting you, like you're so strong, and um, you
got this and you know any way that I can
help you to continue to grow like that meant so
(12:56):
much more. And you know it's kind of like, you know,
that wasn't so bad, um, and I'm not a bad
person because of it, and um, you know a lot
of people talk about The Bachelor about finding love and whatnot,
but it's so much more than just finding love too.
It's you you ultimately, if you really lean into the
process enough, you find yourself. And um, that's what I did. Wow,
(13:17):
you said you found yourself through this process, which is
amazing that that self esteem that you felt you were lacking.
Is it safe to say that that was through the
process of you know, a very painful thing, a relationship ending. Um,
and you had that self esteem before or do you
feel like you were the type of woman who, you know,
maybe struggled with that often on just period and the
(13:37):
bachelor experience helps you find it for the first time.
I would definitely say and I could say this like
looking back, um, that I had definitely lost myself in
my marriage. And I think it's because I was young,
you know, and I ended up making that, Um, I
ended up becoming so dependent on that and really yeah,
(14:03):
for going my independence and not being able to see
me from me and it's just like, oh, if I'm happy, okay,
if my marriage is not doing well, then I'm it's
I'm not doing well, you know. And um, I think
I definitely just lost that self confidence, especially after my divorce.
It's just like I'm ashamed of this. Number One I
failed on the biggest thing, Like how can I tell
any of my friends or family when I was the
(14:25):
first of my friends to get married and then now
my marriage just failed, Like you know what I mean,
you by the way I got married at okay. Um.
So it's just there was just so much that went
on and then there was I don't know. I definitely
that was the lowest point in my life, I think
(14:46):
after that, because I didn't know how to get get
back up. Like my whole life is wrapped in that,
you know, and I've been there, We've all been there
in different ways. What stuck out to me right now
that you just said was when my marriage was good,
everything was great. When marriage was bad, everything was bad.
And for me, that in my twenties was my career
right like it was the only pillar in my life.
(15:07):
And so when it was good, I was on cloud nine.
When it was bad, I was like, what's the point
of it all? And it is so not healthy. I
couldn't in the moment, you couldn't tell me anything. I
was like, no, this is it, this is who I am,
this is what I do. Um. And it was only
after I figured out I need to build up the
other pillars in my life. I need to figure out
(15:27):
other things that light me up that are not this
for me career, so that I don't fucking lose my
ship and just implode. It's so true. That's so it's
so funny, Like it's you're saying it correctly. It's the
pillars in your life. It's like this can't be an
all consuming thing, Like there's so much more to you
(15:48):
and it's all about balance, not regarding. Yeah, I felt
that same way to like everything is terrible. Screw that's like,
what's the point, you know what I mean? It's I'm
just also very traumatic apparently, say say, but that's what
makes like fun. That's probably love. We keep life interesting.
(16:08):
At least that's what I tell my playfriend. So I
tell myself the same thing. Seemed all the same thing.
You are, right, Okay, So for you now, looking up
at coming out of that divorce, obviously going into this
bachelor journey finding love in the end, um, what pillars
have you built up? Now? Obviously you have this amazing relationship,
(16:29):
but I want to talk a little bit about that.
But what are the pillars of Tatia's life? Well, I
think the other things that I was lacking and I
really needed to bring to the forefront was my faith.
You know, that's something that was being compromised at the time.
The importance of spending time with my family because if
those are people that know you the best, you know
(16:50):
what I mean, and can accept you for all parts
of you. And that was something I kind of had
shied away because I was working through so many things,
so my faith, UM, my family, and it was just
really highlighting my ambition to be an entrepreneur or like
do something that makes me happy and really finding like
(17:13):
a career that I don't know just gave me motivation
to keep living and just exploring my passions. And right
now it's so important to me to be able to
um Like last week, I just was able to do
um explore hosting for a second. And that girl that
literally like no other because I was gonna ask you later.
(17:37):
I'm like, you're gorgeous, you have this amazing personality. I'm like,
when are you going to host something? You got this show.
We're gonna talk about the podcast Joe to h clickbait.
But like you're into it, you you enjoyed it, you
have no idea. I it is a whole another world,
like nothing else matters, Like it is so up my
alley and I get such a rush from it. So yeah,
(18:00):
it's like things like that, like I can still have
a successful relationship, I can still do a million of
things and also still find like my career and what
makes me happy and putting that at the forefront too.
You know. I love that. Okay, So wait, dream show
or like type of show to like host or be
a part of. I mean, I'm not gonna I mean
he was really really, really fun. It's kind of similar
(18:22):
to what I'm doing on like clickbait right now. Um,
the entertainment tonight, there was something about like the different
um stories that there was. It was about sports, it
was about you know, pop culture, and then there was
like things happening about the ward ceremony and then you know,
there's just so much to talk about. And I think
that was really fun. Okay, I think dreaming one Good
morning America. I don't really know. People, you better go
(18:44):
to ABC, ABC, you better manifest in the morning. That's fine.
I love that. Well, I'm sure whatever it is you
choose to do, I mean clearly you're gonna kill it.
So I'm excited to watch that continue to evolve, it
unfold for you. Thank you, You've got the podcast. How's
that going? Clickbait? The podcast is great? You know, podcasting
(19:05):
is actually a lot of work. I don't know if
anybody knows that, but there's a happy mess and I'm like,
what contract did I sign? What did I agree to do? No,
it's a lot of work, But honestly, I think it's
definitely an amazing foundation for me in order to really
work on like interviewing skills and um, just getting to
(19:25):
know like other people's opinions and how like my opinion
goes into that and learned from other people. It's just
it's a great outlet for me. Um, and I think
that that could flow into any other job opportunity in
the entertainment space. So um, with that, it's so much fun.
What can people expect? Is it? It's pure Bachelor Nation.
You're talking like pop culture and kind of any click
baity stuff going on in the news, right, So we
(19:48):
talk about both things. We talk. We do have a
good Bachelor Nation breakdown sections. So because Lord knows, we're
always up to something. Okay, I always got into like,
oh my god, what they do it in the base
We are something, I tell you, So we have to
have a whole segment for that. So there's a little
(20:09):
Bachelor Nation breakdown and then we have a clickbait of
the week. So it's basically whatever topic or um, you know,
article we find that week that we can somehow kind
of like tie into our lives or tie into the
guest host that we have on the podcast that day.
But it's basically a lot of clickbait. And then we
have we have a guest that usually comes on, and
(20:32):
we've had such fun celebrity guests. Who was the most
recent one or who was a really fun one that
she did lately? Um, we just had Shannon Ford, who
is one of my girlfriends, but she used to be
on Very Cavaliery and she is just a spunky little firecracker.
And I was like, it's about time when you come
on the podcast, like we need a spice some stuff up.
(20:54):
She taking up a little bit. Yeah, okay, okay, nice,
nice anyone like that you love to land for the podcast,
or anyone coming down the pipeline that you know of
the you can tease for us. Oh my gosh, I mean,
we do have a real housewife coming next week, which
would be really really fun. And she's from Orange County.
I mean she's actually sorry alive. She's from Beverly Hill.
(21:14):
So I'm really excited about that. I got to get
the franchises, right. I was waiting about because there's another
one that I want to get on there, but that's
that's coming. Okay, let's see. I would love, love, love love.
Let's say, Nicky Bella was actually one of my dream
people and we got her, so that was super fun.
But I want like Chris and Cavaliery, or like Chrissy
Teagan or even I mean Jennifer Andison is a huge
(21:38):
Bachelor Nation fans would be every she She's she Honestly,
she is the coolest human, so down to earth, very
laid back, and just so gracious with her time too.
I am I did, uh you know the morning show
on got the TV plus, I did the quickest I'm
talking about point zero zero zero three second CAMEO interviewing her. Yeah,
(22:01):
and I changed. I died. I was like, not, I
don't even know how you could function. I was so
I had two minds. And when I tell you, I
was so stressed for like a week before. First of all,
my literal job is to ask who are you wearing? Um,
it's so exciting, what's going on tonight? How are you
going to celebrate. What are you most proud of? I
(22:22):
asked these questions every day for a living in my sleep.
I had to just ask that on camera to her
and I was like, okay, so how am I going
to say this? Um? How are you feeling tonight? Okay? Wait, no, no, no, no, no,
that was too that two and tance let me do
a little more dal feeling tonight? Like nobody cares. I
would do the same freaking thing. Yeah. I actually don't
(22:43):
even know if I could get that far sentence in.
She's just I don't know, She's just the ultimate cold
girl to make. She just embodies like class and just
like she's perfection. So she just seems so down to
earth and kind of like unaffected by her celebrity. You know,
she's very gracious, came up, spoke to me, told me
did a great job, even though we had two sentences.
(23:04):
And then the next time I saw her, She's like,
oh my god, my costar, how are you? And I'm like,
did Jennifer Anderson just call me her freaking costar? Good night?
You're adverted? No, I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I
couldn't believe it either. Your life is nate so if
she comes on the podcast, just be warned. You're gonna
(23:25):
fall in love and want to be new best friends.
So got to get her on. Oh my gosh, you're listening,
Come on, make it happen, clickbait head that way and
fire on it. Do you just do a whole podcast
to her? Um, I want to talk to you a
little bit about your biracial identity. Right it's Black History Month.
You were a proud Afro Latina, and I love that
(23:49):
you are really unapologetic about owning that, owning all sides
of you. And I'm curious to know how did you
get to that point, because you know, I talked about
this a lot with my friends. I talk about the
fact that for me, my struggle growing up was code
switching and feeling like I had to you know, I
grew up in the Inner city, UM in an all
black community, but I bust out to a private school
(24:10):
with pretty like well off white kids for the better
part of six years of my formative life, and so
I kind of felt torn between two worlds and like
I couldn't fully be myself and either. And that is
not to say, obviously I'm I'm black, so I'm not
by racial and I felt that pressure. How is it
for you as someone who quite literally identifies as you know,
(24:34):
two different races and equally a part of both, and
yet having to kind of not just navigate the waters yourself,
but now navigate them publicly where people expect you to
navigate it through their leans of how you should operate.
Does that make sense? Yes? And and that's a there's
a lot of things in that, but I think that
(24:55):
the one thing that stuck out to me is navigated
through their lens, which has been so hard. Um. But
I will say I think that becoming the Bachelorette really
pushed me to be able to, um, really stand my
ground and address myself how I do identify, because I
(25:16):
do feel like for so long, I too didn't really
know what side to go with because I feel like
people just automatically assume, you know, I'm black and and
I would say yeah, and but the thing is like,
I'm half Mexican too, but because I don't look half Mexican,
like nobody even played into that. So when I would
be like, oh, yeah, I'm half Mexican, they'd like know
(25:37):
why it wouldn't believe me. Um. But also I feel
like Um. You know, when I say I'm biracial, you know,
the Mexican side to me, it's like, well, you know,
why can't you just proudly say you're Mexican? And the
black side of me is like, well, why could you
proudly say that you're black? Why do you have to
do you feel like you're you know, flipping sides to it.
I'm like, no, because that's who I am quite literally,
(26:00):
both sides literally who I'm. How can you tell me
to identify? Like she was one? Um? And I think
for so long as a kid, we're not even teach
to like embrace that you're biracial or like all sides
of you. And I had brought this up previously, but
like when like you're identifying yourself on like one of
(26:20):
those testing things that you turn in every single year,
there's always like, you know, you're black, you're white, your Caucasian,
your Asian, whatever, and it never says that you can
be Mexican and black at the same time. So I
always questioned, like what do I circle here, and like
I'm not kidding you. One year I would do Mexican,
the next year I would do yeah. Because I never
knew and I felt a kid exactly. I mean, I remember,
(26:44):
you know, when Megan Markel had first started dating Printerion.
I was at the time, we were reporting obviously a
lot on like who is this some beautiful woman whose
called the Prince design. I remember reading a story that
she was saying about that exact issue of just like,
I'm not black or white. I'm black and white, and
I'm happy and proud to be both, and there's no
(27:06):
box to check for that, you know, and so as
one exactly, it's like, what are you telling a child
about their identity? And you're really setting them up for failure,
I think for the rest of their life if they
sort of internalize that idea that they have to um
denounce or walk away from or ignore one side of
(27:26):
themselves to be embraced by the other. Do you feel
like that has changed over the years. How has that
experience been for you through your teenage years into your
twenties and thirties. Do you feel like you can kind
of openly embrace both sides or do you still feel
that pressure publicly, particularly being the first fire racial bachelorette.
I still think I got to like an ageing in college,
(27:47):
I was called whitewashed because I didn't talk the way
that someone thought I would needed to talk, or I
didn't dress the way someone else I would, and that
would bother me so much, Like, No, I'm not like,
how am I supposed to dress in order for you
to be like, oh you'r African American or your Mexican.
You know what I mean. It's just and I dealt
with that for a very long time still. I mean,
no one said it to my face as of recently,
(28:08):
but um, that's definitely something that I've experienced not too
long ago. Um, And I think, like I said, realizing
the platform that I do have and being the first
by rachel Bachelorette and having girls be able to see
themselves be identified if they are mixed or if they
are black and Mexican orf they are Mexican like on
(28:29):
their TV screens for the first time on such a
big show was really important for me to be like, yeah,
I'm both of them, and I'm proud of it, and
I'm going to stand for that. And no, I don't
have all the answers. No, I might not be exactly
how you want me to be, but I'm me and
I'm proud of it, and I'm continuing to grow and
embrace that. So good for you, Good for you, Thank you.
(28:50):
How has it been like interracial dating? You're an interracial
relationship obviously as am I. Um, how has that been
for you? When it came to I'm just gonna ask
you straight up with the Bachelor, right, did you feel
pressure to be like, Okay, I gotta have what black guy,
what white guy? Like the final two three, whatever? Like
otherwise Twitter is gonna drag me one way or another?
(29:12):
Like did you feel that pressure or were you genuinely
like whatever, I'm just gonna choose what I want. No,
I did not feel that pressure because it will tell
you this again, I've been married and if that were
to if if the journey were to end with me
getting engaged to somebody, I would never just do that
just to do that. But also at the same time,
I've had some good looking men on my season, okay,
(29:36):
of all ethnicities. And if there's how many times Secret's
gonna date twenty guys at one time, it's not very often.
So it's like, this is my chance, Like can I
why you know, block myself from possibly finding the love
of my life no matter how that looks like it
looks why, it doesn't matter to me. It's what's inside
(29:58):
in their personality and way more tractive that So, however
that looked I was ready for exactly. There we go,
There we go. Have you so, is it safe to
say you dated across the board like leading up to
now your engagement, well as of recently? Yes? Yeah, yeah,
oh I got that as recently. Okay, all right, I'll
(30:18):
take it. I'm thinking up what she puts out. Well,
you found your guy, you found your fiance. How is
it going with that? You talked about the fact that
you know, obviously you're engaged, but you want to slow
down and date, not really get too deep into the
wedding planning too quickly. How is the dating going. What's
the most new or surprising thing you've learned about Zach
(30:39):
through the dating process? Maybe in the last week even who, Well,
you know the dating is going. Well, it's definitely different
because we're in a pandemic and we're trying to like
figure out this bicoastal life. But also we're both just
as busy, so it's kind of hard because we're trying
(31:01):
to figure out, like I don't know how to navigate
his busy schedule with him trying to be supportive of
me and like my busy schedule and then me trying
to be supportive of So we've kind of like that's
been a little battle this past week and a half,
if I'm being completely honest. Um, but it's because you know,
like last week we went down to we were in
(31:22):
um l A. And I had a packed week and
he came down for a couple of days to get
to see my family and meet to my friends. That
had been the first time he was able to see
them since the engagement was televised, and um, like it
was kind of hard because like, I haven't seen you
all day. I'm like, look, I'm trying. This is just
a work trip, Like we have to try to navigate this.
(31:44):
I'm exhausted now. So it's like it's everyday things that people,
you know, like a life together and trying to figure
out that balance. Yeah, and you know that's the truth.
Like I could tell you it's like roses and stuff
like that, which it is most of the time he's
as in person, but you know, we're still navigating a relationship.
And I think that's why I'm just like let's just
(32:06):
like figure this out at first, you know what I mean,
ring still on. The wedding's still going to happen. We're good.
But what is the what is the newest pet peeve
that each of you has for the other, Like, what
is the thing that you both realize like, wait, they
do this? Oh my gosh, that's a good one. I'm
trying to think. Well, I think Zachary would say it's
(32:29):
me not making the bed. He like, you just piece
out in the morning. But look, apparently it's the last
thing out of the bed has to make bet And
I'm like, listen, I don't like making the bed and
so but then he sells the messy bad, messy head.
So anyway, I'm trying to work. Okay, I've never heard that.
I like it. We'll be doing it. And as far
(32:52):
as like him, what can I say? I don't know. Um,
he doesn't do much annoy you. Or maybe I'm just
like really cool and I'm just like whatever, little cucumber
you know, think what does he do? Um? He he
forgets to eat sometimes throughout the day and it makes
me go crazy because I'm starving half the time and
(33:16):
I don't know next thing you know, he's like Calet's
order food and he's like starving, like I've been hungry.
I would hate what you mean. I don't know's I'm
very crazy, all right, exactly. Well, that's good. That's good news.
He's not you know, he's not giving you too much
to work with as far as oh my god, thank god,
at least not yet. Yeah, yeah, I'll check you into
(33:37):
the couple of league. Um, what's been the most endearing
thing that you've been pleasantly surprised about the relationship as
you continue to get to know each other in this
dating phase. Mm hmmm. I think his commitment to um,
want to make time for my family, and I think
(33:58):
it's really really sweet at you know, sometimes I'm like,
why are you smiling? Who are you texting? Like I'm
texting your little brother. Like it's just little sweet things
like that. That is just he knows that that's very
important to me, and it's something he does on his own,
you know. UM, I love that. Yeah, it's just a
quality time between us two as well, like at home,
Like I'll make sure that's something that we have just
(34:20):
because our schedules are busy and we're trying to catch
up for you know time. So yeah, yeah, you mentioned
engagement still good wedding down the future, so this is
no time soon. But what does that dream wedding look like?
Have you put any thought into like what kind of
gown or flowers or colors or city? You know what.
We were actually just talking about this last night. Um,
(34:44):
as far as city, I think he wanted to say
somewhere you know, warm, and um, New York is still
on the table. Then I was thinking, you know, I
feel bad for having so many people travel, but he
wants to do like a whole weekend of that, like
an extravagance. It's gonna be like a thing. You know.
(35:04):
We want to be like on an area to where
like everyone could kind of like have lodging and we
could just like at night, just like be able to
have dinner with every single person catch up and actually
get to like catch up with your guests. Because I
had a wedding. It it's so sad. I goes by
so quickly that sometimes you don't need men to say
hi to someone exactly. That's exactly it. So I think
that's one of the main importance. But as far as dress,
(35:25):
I mean, I love to experiment with my fashion, and
I don't know, I would like to even wear like
some type of like a have a good hint of
a different color, like it probably won't just be all white,
really interesting. Are you more of a mermaid silhouette sexy
or a ball gown princess e big? You know, I
(35:46):
think I'm more of like a mermaid sexy. I like
to I like my figure and I like to like
highlight that um and I mean as much as a
ballgown is pretty, I don't know. I feel like I
need more, Like, oh, we already not. Girl. We saw
those looksing were starting on the battlarette. You saw you
get out of that pool. Girl. I was like, oh
my god, it looks amazing. Look away, Sean, look away.
(36:10):
It's so funny. I was like, what is happening? I
don't even know that was gonna happen. To trust me,
trust me before I let you go. Just a couple
of more quick questions. Obviously, this show, Hot, Happy Mess
is all about embracing the hot, the happy, and the
mess of our lives all at the same time. Um,
(36:32):
what is your key to that? Like when it comes
to balance, when it comes to mindfulness, when it comes
to finding your magic in the middle of life's messes.
How do you keep yourself centered? How does Tasha find
her center? You know, I have you ever read the
book The Four Agreements? I started it, so everyone in
the podcast knows I'm good about starting a book and
(36:53):
then finishing it never So the first two agreements were great.
But yeah, you can break it down, Well, no, it's
it's things like that. It's just I like books that
really just put things into perspective in a in a
really easy way. I think that The Four Agreements was
definitely a book that I actually found when I was
(37:14):
on The Bachelor and I tried to implement in my
daily life. And it's more of like it's taking a
step back and just being like, is it's really something
to freak out over? Um? What can I do to
help the situation or to make the situation better? And
just to take a minute and just like breathe. And
for so long I would react to things I would
(37:38):
or I would have so much stress and anxiety over
something that really didn't really need any of that stuff.
So like lately I've been trying to just kind of
like take a second really quick and is this really
that big of a deal, and I need to be
like putting my body under stress and and you know,
hangs and I get so much bad not to my shoulder.
My gosh, you know where you're going on that route.
But I just your body just like it's not good
(37:59):
for yeah, you that tension just kind of manifest physically. Yeah.
And so it's more so just taking a hot minute,
kind of centering yourself and just been like, how can
I actually fix this situation? Doesn't really require me to
react to that? Make you feel much better when you
reacted like that and just like take a minute. I
love it. I love it for me. It's often a
(38:21):
glass of wine. I mean answer, So I liked the bounce.
It's all about balance over here. Um, what is in
your happiness cocktail? Like this is not literal, it's just
like what what a little bit of travel, a little
bit of whatever did it? What would be intatious happiness cocktail? Well,
(38:44):
definitely some shopping, okay, favor a little bit of like
what's your favorite brain? Oh, you know that's really actually
really hard. I would just want to go to intermix
and it makes has all of my brands that I
like just exactly, so I would just want to go
to intermix really quick. I also love self care. So
if my brows are good, then I'm good. If I
(39:06):
have a good facial, I'm good. I love to travel,
I really really do. I love to either be. I
love to be with loved one. So if I'm traveling
with the best friend, if I'm traveling with Zachary, if
I'm traveling with my family, I'm good. It's I'm really simple. Also,
a drinking hand and drink in hand. What is the choice?
Is it the margharita margarita last night? Right now, I'm
(39:27):
drinking it. I call it a taleoma. It's a great
true and like sparkling water and just really easy fresh.
I like it. I like it. And lastly, in five years,
what does your dream life with zach look like in
a perfect world five years? Oh my gosh, um, I
(39:47):
actually wouldn't mind having a home here in New York.
Have to be a little bit bigger than the apartment
we have now. But because we would probably have about
I would talking right now, is you know it's a
good size moving out? He's like, I don't have enough space,
just like, so, when's your lease up again? Baby. He's like,
(40:12):
you're relaxing. I feel it's actually decent size, it's quare feet,
but still you have kids, right, Okay, Now we're gonna
need a little bit more space. Um. Also, I got
a lot of clothes, so I can come a closets.
But exactly so it would be probably us maybe with
(40:33):
already at one kid, if not another on the way
or just had a second. And um, I don't know,
Zack and I maybe having like a charity together, a cheery,
A charity cheery, yes, a cherry, we have a cherry.
Tell me more the cool kids doing these days? Cherry? Okay, cherry,
(40:57):
I've never got You're okay? Yeah, charity of some to
se Regarden. I think like, um, I think we could
do we could be amazing business partners and not asset
because we have big hearts for people and helping people.
So anything kind of like nonprofit or sort of cause
or yet to be determined, I would say yet to
(41:20):
be determined, but I think it would definitely be centered
around mental health. And um, I think with his field,
I think he deals with a lot more like you know, adults,
and I my soft spot is with children, So UM,
I think with that we can really touch lives of
a lot of people because to me, you know, mental health, Um,
(41:43):
it contend from being a child. So if I can
help get in pretty early, I think you know, we
could avoid in the future. So that's awesome. I love it,
all of it. Well, we will see what the next
five years brings. But in the meantime, enjoy the next
five days in New York City. Hopefully y'all can get
out to that rooftop runch sooner then later, I hope.
So it's supposed to snow here to go, never mind,
(42:04):
no stand out, Just stay in the house. Stay in
the house, come out in April, have fun exactly. So
much for joining me. This is a sum You're the best.
Thank you so much for having me. I enjoyed it,
happy but there it is special. Thanks again to Tasia
for joining me on this episode of Hot Happy Mess.
Did you love this? I had so much fun recording it.
(42:28):
I hope you had fun listening. If you loved it,
you should hit subscribe. If you are new here, then
trust me, you're gonna love it. Uh yeah, you're just
gonna love it. That's all I got to sell you
on it. Um, we have new episodes every Monday. We
are talking about everything from dating and relationships, to mental
wellness and health to the best sex ever. Because yes,
(42:52):
that is our most recent episode. Everything you've been too
shy to ask. We had a sex expert, a sex
therapist come on and answer those questions, and that was
our most recent episode. So go back check that out.
How to be single and not just pretend to love
it the craziest single years ish we have ever done.
We've got confession bonus episodes, and then we've also got
a lot about just how to be happy. That's our
(43:13):
very first episode ever. So if you want to go
back and binge, go back to the very first episode
is what I would recommend, how to be happy? But
also what the heck do I know? So yeah, don't
sue me, but take my advice if you If you
so dare, check it out, go binge, subscribe and I
will see all next Monday for another episode of Hot
(43:33):
Happy Mess. You can keep up with me on Instagram
at Zuri Hall z U R I J L L
and follow at Hot Happy Mess. I'll see you all
next week. By
Hot Happy Mess. Celebrate your magic in the middle of
life's messes. Hi Happy. I'm Zurie Hall and this is
Hot Happy Mess. Hello, Hello, what is up? Welcome, Welcome,
Come one, come all to another episode of Hot Happy Mess.
(00:32):
I am your host, Zuri Hall, and this is where
we find the magic in the middle of our messes. Baby, Okay,
we're finding the magic in the middle of the messes,
and we are celebrating all that is hot, happy and
low key a mess in our lives at the same
damn time. Today, today I am joined by an absolute gem.
(00:55):
I'm so excited. You guys are gonna love this episode.
Tasha at She is the most recent star of ABC's
hit show The Bachelorette. She's also the first ever by
racial lead of the franchise, and she first appeared on
The Bachelor back in twenty nineteen Totally one over Bachelor Nation.
Was just so sweet and endearing and charming and stunning
(01:16):
and smart and quickly became a fan favorite. She then
returned to TV on the sixth season of Bachelor in
Paradise before she became the lead on The Bachelorette after Claire,
of course, pieced out early to be with Dale. Okay,
so Tasia ended her season with a ring spoiler alert,
I probably should have said that at the start. But also,
(01:37):
if you haven't watched by now, what are you doing? Okay?
So she is currently engaged, of course, to her now fiance,
Zach Clark. And if you love Tasha, if you're curious
to learn more about her, then we are diving into
everything and you're gonna want to hear it all, from
what sexy means to her to her secret fear. It
(01:58):
is hilarious. I share the same fear. And also, y'all,
I'm not even gonna get into it because I'm getting
worked up just thinking about it. Oh my god, disgusting.
I share a horror story that I just just don't
judge me, That's all I'm saying. Just know that it
had to do with me living in New York and
everything to do with my block and nothing to do
(02:20):
with my home life. Okay. So that's the teas on that. Um,
We're also going to talk about her embracing her biracial identity.
Tacious father is black, her mother is Latina, and she
feels very connected to both sides of her family's roots
and heritage and we are diving into her experiences growing
(02:40):
up and you know also if she felt any pressure
as the bachelorette because of how she identifies. We're also
talking about the Zach. We're talking all things Zack, her
dream wetting, the perfect dress, where she sees the two
of them in five years with city are they living in,
(03:01):
what are they doing for work? Does it involve kids?
I've got answers to all of it, but you gotta listen, enjoy.
Here's Tasia. Tasia, I'm super excited to have you on
Hot Happy Mess. We were just talking briefly about quarantine
life and slowly the world opening back up now that
it's becoming safer to do so. So, how are you
feeling in New York right now? You're good? Are we? Are?
(03:24):
We mixing and mingling a little bit. You're exactly able
to do a couple of dates, you know what. We
are good. And I have to say, I think this
is the perfect time for me to be here because
I feel like New York is definitely a world of
its sound. It's definitely its own vibe and it can
eat you alive if you're not ready to go, like
a hundred miles an hour so it's kind of nice
(03:45):
that I kind of get like a slow introduction, gotta
get my like, you know, on the ground, and hopefully
by the time the world comes back to normal, I
am ready to hit the ground running. What is the
first thing you want to do in New York once
you get New York and all its glory back? Oh?
I really want to do like a rooftop brunch. Oh
my god, that's so cute. That's like the easiest request,
(04:06):
how it really is. I would be like, so, I'm
thinking a helicopter tour around the stad room where you're
just mad extra I love that. That's just the sweetest
simple thing, you know. It's just like the views here
are so different than home. I think, like, I'm I
love architecture, and I love buildings, and um I keep
pointing them outains act like I've never even noticed that
building before, but like to see it from you know,
(04:29):
high up would be amazing. So and I love brunch.
So okay, all right, well we'll do a follow up
to see how that first roof shop brunch goes. I
want to kick things off with a rapid icebreaker. This
is what we do to kind of just warm up
our guests and just whatever comes to mind first, Let's
do it. Number one. The song that sums up my
week is oh, oh, shoot, well, I was just listening
(04:54):
to do Alipa and she makes me feel some type
of way. What type of things around the cornetation? How
we feel it? I'm doing God, but she just thinks
you want to sing and dance. I don't know, but shoot,
I wish I had an exact song. Just do You're
(05:15):
in a dual Leipa mood that I'm gonna okay. The
beauty product I swear by is oh, I swear by
skin Cuticals, blemish Age and Defense. Sah, all right, what
does sexy mean to you? Confidence? Like just feeling good
(05:36):
in your own skin, that's sexy. I am secretly terrified of,
oh my gosh, mice, and apparently there's a lot around here.
And I lived in New York for three years. I
was terrorized by one mouse for like two weeks. Three weeks.
I could not get that thing out of my house.
I cried every day every day it broke in from
(05:58):
the bodega up the street because it found the tiniest
little hole. Because their little bodies can squeeze through these
small holes and then pop back out on the other
side bigger. I see. I I don't know about all that.
I didn't even think about that stuff when I moved here,
and then all of a sudden I saw one, and
I'm like, Lord, have mercies that ever comes into my home.
I haven't. Please tell me it was outside of the house,
(06:20):
because there you have a third roommate. It's us that
in the mouse. Now I'm telling you started. Okay, so mice,
that's a that's a fair thing to be terrified. Up.
What is your favorite thing to cook? Oh? To cook.
I'm more of a baker, So if I could bake anything,
I love making like cumber lay um. What else do
(06:43):
I love to make? I love making, um, chocolate chip cookies. Okay,
we're talking like from scratch because I'm just breaking back
ten times better. I gotta step it up. I gotta
it up. I'll get the recipe from here. Okay, I
got the tools perfect. This's a leave closet that you
would love to write. Oh my gosh, Well, Rihanna or
(07:05):
is in Dia. Oh my god, she kills it every time.
Have you seen Malcolm and Maria? No? But it's because
I wanted to be in a like a space where
I had enough time to like actually sit in it.
It's not that I'm back in New York. Oh it
is going on the sekend Margharita's or Bloody Mary's. Oh
(07:29):
Margarita's hands down, Okay, Okay. I get secretly annoyed when
people call me uh t you correct them because people
call me zur and I used to just cringe. I'm
starting to think I'm going to have to tell them
to stop calling me that. I'm like, it's so much
easier to just finish the name. It's not not that hard.
(07:52):
It's I don't know what is or t t came
out of nowhere, but I get it's easier for people.
But it's like, it's not my name but right, but hey,
you feel like today is okay. It's grown on me.
So you're like, Tasia, call me by my love my name, Taia,
call her by her name, guys, Okay, Taia the beautiful name.
(08:13):
Call her it. Lastly, favorite place that you have ever
traveled to in your entire life. Oh mm hmmm, probably
I actually really loved Portugal. Portugal is insane. What was
the best part about Portugal? Um, the weather, it really
is similar to like Orange County, like California, and the
(08:34):
vibe is kind of like a Santa Barbara like Mediterranean vibe. Um,
but I just like there's it's more like in the country,
at least where I was. Um, it was just it
was really simple life, but it was studying and yeah,
alright there something wait is that the game plan? Are
we gonna move to Portugal and just live on a
(08:57):
farm because I'm here for it. I would love to. However,
I'm still trying to convince Zachary that, you know, you know,
the West coast the best coast, and so like that's
like an easier one than going to Portugal. So we're
the You're like, we're just trying to get to Calie first,
another country. I want to dive into kind of where
(09:19):
you are now and how you got there. Like, obviously
we've all followed your journey, um in the Bachelor Nation franchise,
watching you become the first biracial bachelorette. Um. But for
those who might still be newer to the naty gritty
of your story, UM, break it down for our hot,
happy mess gang over here. Um, how did you kind
of decide you know what, I want to step into
(09:41):
this world. I want to step into the world of
Bachelor Nation and just see what happens. Well, you know,
to be honest with you, UM, I didn't seek this out. UM.
It kind of actually came to me. UM. A couple
of my girlfriends actually nominated me for um Bachelor And
I was just at a place in my life where
(10:03):
I needed to do something for me because I had
been so long since I had done that, and I
had just been in such a place where why not. UM.
So when they gave me the phone when they first
called me, though I did, I did say no, and
I kind of like thought that for a very long time.
But what was the hesitation? I mean, it's TV. And
(10:27):
also I'm I'm actually a very private person, UM, and
like I had just gone through a divorce. And to
be honest with you, right when I got went through
my divorce, three people knew, not even I didn't tell
my best friends. I told my therapist, I told my mom,
and I told my pastor. And that's really it. And
the idea of going on something and it was I
(10:50):
knew it was going to break me to the point
where I had to open up and be vulnerable if
if this was gonna work. Scared the living daylights out
of me to come out and talk about something I
was highly ashamed end. So, Um, that was really my
first hesitation. Got it, that's fair. Yeah, it's you, and
I love that you did. I'm glad that you bring
(11:11):
up the the idea of shame right around divorce or
around you know, a relationship not working because oftentimes, I think,
especially as women, we've been taught or conditioned to feel like,
whether it's our fault or not, I failed, I didn't
make this work. I said I do, and now I
don't and I failed, And I really, um, I wish
(11:33):
that that would evolve and that we could move beyond
this idea that if something doesn't work out. Um, we
completely dropped the ball. Some things have chapters, they end
and you move on. Um. What got you to the
point if you ever got there that you were able
to shake that shame off or do you feel like
that was sort of a shadow for a long time
(11:54):
after the divorce? Mm hmm, you know, it was a
shadow for a while until truly it was the show
that really made me feel empowered and confid again in
myself because I was able to share like my darkness
(12:15):
like secret if you will, at the time with someone
that I was hoping to fall in love with. And
he didn't like see me as damaged goods or he
didn't see me as like that's not something he could
get past. And it was kind of an eye opening
experience because I was my self esteem was so low,
Like it was like, why are you even looking at me?
(12:35):
Like when someone was trying to give me attention or
or you know, was flattering me, I didn't understand it.
That's how low my self esteem was. And so for
him to be able to be like I'm here for you,
I'm comforting you, like you're so strong, and um, you
got this and you know any way that I can
help you to continue to grow like that meant so
(12:56):
much more. And you know it's kind of like, you know,
that wasn't so bad, um, and I'm not a bad
person because of it, and um, you know a lot
of people talk about The Bachelor about finding love and whatnot,
but it's so much more than just finding love too.
It's you you ultimately, if you really lean into the
process enough, you find yourself. And um, that's what I did. Wow,
(13:17):
you said you found yourself through this process, which is
amazing that that self esteem that you felt you were lacking.
Is it safe to say that that was through the
process of you know, a very painful thing, a relationship ending. Um,
and you had that self esteem before or do you
feel like you were the type of woman who, you know,
maybe struggled with that often on just period and the
(13:37):
bachelor experience helps you find it for the first time.
I would definitely say and I could say this like
looking back, um, that I had definitely lost myself in
my marriage. And I think it's because I was young,
you know, and I ended up making that, Um, I
ended up becoming so dependent on that and really yeah,
(14:03):
for going my independence and not being able to see
me from me and it's just like, oh, if I'm happy, okay,
if my marriage is not doing well, then I'm it's
I'm not doing well, you know. And um, I think
I definitely just lost that self confidence, especially after my divorce.
It's just like I'm ashamed of this. Number One I
failed on the biggest thing, Like how can I tell
any of my friends or family when I was the
(14:25):
first of my friends to get married and then now
my marriage just failed, Like you know what I mean,
you by the way I got married at okay. Um.
So it's just there was just so much that went
on and then there was I don't know. I definitely
that was the lowest point in my life, I think
(14:46):
after that, because I didn't know how to get get
back up. Like my whole life is wrapped in that,
you know, and I've been there, We've all been there
in different ways. What stuck out to me right now
that you just said was when my marriage was good,
everything was great. When marriage was bad, everything was bad.
And for me, that in my twenties was my career
right like it was the only pillar in my life.
(15:07):
And so when it was good, I was on cloud nine.
When it was bad, I was like, what's the point
of it all? And it is so not healthy. I
couldn't in the moment, you couldn't tell me anything. I
was like, no, this is it, this is who I am,
this is what I do. Um. And it was only
after I figured out I need to build up the
other pillars in my life. I need to figure out
(15:27):
other things that light me up that are not this
for me career, so that I don't fucking lose my
ship and just implode. It's so true. That's so it's
so funny, Like it's you're saying it correctly. It's the
pillars in your life. It's like this can't be an
all consuming thing, Like there's so much more to you
(15:48):
and it's all about balance, not regarding. Yeah, I felt
that same way to like everything is terrible. Screw that's like,
what's the point, you know what I mean? It's I'm
just also very traumatic apparently, say say, but that's what
makes like fun. That's probably love. We keep life interesting.
(16:08):
At least that's what I tell my playfriend. So I
tell myself the same thing. Seemed all the same thing.
You are, right, Okay, So for you now, looking up
at coming out of that divorce, obviously going into this
bachelor journey finding love in the end, um, what pillars
have you built up? Now? Obviously you have this amazing relationship,
(16:29):
but I want to talk a little bit about that.
But what are the pillars of Tatia's life? Well, I
think the other things that I was lacking and I
really needed to bring to the forefront was my faith.
You know, that's something that was being compromised at the time.
The importance of spending time with my family because if
those are people that know you the best, you know
(16:50):
what I mean, and can accept you for all parts
of you. And that was something I kind of had
shied away because I was working through so many things,
so my faith, UM, my family, and it was just
really highlighting my ambition to be an entrepreneur or like
do something that makes me happy and really finding like
(17:13):
a career that I don't know just gave me motivation
to keep living and just exploring my passions. And right
now it's so important to me to be able to
um Like last week, I just was able to do
um explore hosting for a second. And that girl that
literally like no other because I was gonna ask you later.
(17:37):
I'm like, you're gorgeous, you have this amazing personality. I'm like,
when are you going to host something? You got this show.
We're gonna talk about the podcast Joe to h clickbait.
But like you're into it, you you enjoyed it, you
have no idea. I it is a whole another world,
like nothing else matters, Like it is so up my
alley and I get such a rush from it. So yeah,
(18:00):
it's like things like that, like I can still have
a successful relationship, I can still do a million of
things and also still find like my career and what
makes me happy and putting that at the forefront too.
You know. I love that. Okay, So wait, dream show
or like type of show to like host or be
a part of. I mean, I'm not gonna I mean
he was really really, really fun. It's kind of similar
(18:22):
to what I'm doing on like clickbait right now. Um,
the entertainment tonight, there was something about like the different
um stories that there was. It was about sports, it
was about you know, pop culture, and then there was
like things happening about the ward ceremony and then you know,
there's just so much to talk about. And I think
that was really fun. Okay, I think dreaming one Good
morning America. I don't really know. People, you better go
(18:44):
to ABC, ABC, you better manifest in the morning. That's fine.
I love that. Well, I'm sure whatever it is you
choose to do, I mean clearly you're gonna kill it.
So I'm excited to watch that continue to evolve, it
unfold for you. Thank you, You've got the podcast. How's
that going? Clickbait? The podcast is great? You know, podcasting
(19:05):
is actually a lot of work. I don't know if
anybody knows that, but there's a happy mess and I'm like,
what contract did I sign? What did I agree to do? No,
it's a lot of work, But honestly, I think it's
definitely an amazing foundation for me in order to really
work on like interviewing skills and um, just getting to
(19:25):
know like other people's opinions and how like my opinion
goes into that and learned from other people. It's just
it's a great outlet for me. Um, and I think
that that could flow into any other job opportunity in
the entertainment space. So um, with that, it's so much fun.
What can people expect? Is it? It's pure Bachelor Nation.
You're talking like pop culture and kind of any click
baity stuff going on in the news, right, So we
(19:48):
talk about both things. We talk. We do have a
good Bachelor Nation breakdown sections. So because Lord knows, we're
always up to something. Okay, I always got into like,
oh my god, what they do it in the base
We are something, I tell you, So we have to
have a whole segment for that. So there's a little
(20:09):
Bachelor Nation breakdown and then we have a clickbait of
the week. So it's basically whatever topic or um, you know,
article we find that week that we can somehow kind
of like tie into our lives or tie into the
guest host that we have on the podcast that day.
But it's basically a lot of clickbait. And then we
have we have a guest that usually comes on, and
(20:32):
we've had such fun celebrity guests. Who was the most
recent one or who was a really fun one that
she did lately? Um, we just had Shannon Ford, who
is one of my girlfriends, but she used to be
on Very Cavaliery and she is just a spunky little firecracker.
And I was like, it's about time when you come
on the podcast, like we need a spice some stuff up.
(20:54):
She taking up a little bit. Yeah, okay, okay, nice,
nice anyone like that you love to land for the podcast,
or anyone coming down the pipeline that you know of
the you can tease for us. Oh my gosh, I mean,
we do have a real housewife coming next week, which
would be really really fun. And she's from Orange County.
I mean she's actually sorry alive. She's from Beverly Hill.
(21:14):
So I'm really excited about that. I got to get
the franchises, right. I was waiting about because there's another
one that I want to get on there, but that's
that's coming. Okay, let's see. I would love, love, love love.
Let's say, Nicky Bella was actually one of my dream
people and we got her, so that was super fun.
But I want like Chris and Cavaliery, or like Chrissy
Teagan or even I mean Jennifer Andison is a huge
(21:38):
Bachelor Nation fans would be every she She's she Honestly,
she is the coolest human, so down to earth, very
laid back, and just so gracious with her time too.
I am I did, uh you know the morning show
on got the TV plus, I did the quickest I'm
talking about point zero zero zero three second CAMEO interviewing her. Yeah,
(22:01):
and I changed. I died. I was like, not, I
don't even know how you could function. I was so
I had two minds. And when I tell you, I
was so stressed for like a week before. First of all,
my literal job is to ask who are you wearing? Um,
it's so exciting, what's going on tonight? How are you
going to celebrate. What are you most proud of? I
(22:22):
asked these questions every day for a living in my sleep.
I had to just ask that on camera to her
and I was like, okay, so how am I going
to say this? Um? How are you feeling tonight? Okay? Wait, no, no, no, no, no,
that was too that two and tance let me do
a little more dal feeling tonight? Like nobody cares. I
would do the same freaking thing. Yeah. I actually don't
(22:43):
even know if I could get that far sentence in.
She's just I don't know, She's just the ultimate cold
girl to make. She just embodies like class and just
like she's perfection. So she just seems so down to
earth and kind of like unaffected by her celebrity. You know,
she's very gracious, came up, spoke to me, told me
did a great job, even though we had two sentences.
(23:04):
And then the next time I saw her, She's like,
oh my god, my costar, how are you? And I'm like,
did Jennifer Anderson just call me her freaking costar? Good night?
You're adverted? No, I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I
couldn't believe it either. Your life is nate so if
she comes on the podcast, just be warned. You're gonna
(23:25):
fall in love and want to be new best friends.
So got to get her on. Oh my gosh, you're listening,
Come on, make it happen, clickbait head that way and
fire on it. Do you just do a whole podcast
to her? Um, I want to talk to you a
little bit about your biracial identity. Right it's Black History Month.
You were a proud Afro Latina, and I love that
(23:49):
you are really unapologetic about owning that, owning all sides
of you. And I'm curious to know how did you
get to that point, because you know, I talked about
this a lot with my friends. I talk about the
fact that for me, my struggle growing up was code
switching and feeling like I had to you know, I
grew up in the Inner city, UM in an all
black community, but I bust out to a private school
(24:10):
with pretty like well off white kids for the better
part of six years of my formative life, and so
I kind of felt torn between two worlds and like
I couldn't fully be myself and either. And that is
not to say, obviously I'm I'm black, so I'm not
by racial and I felt that pressure. How is it
for you as someone who quite literally identifies as you know,
(24:34):
two different races and equally a part of both, and
yet having to kind of not just navigate the waters yourself,
but now navigate them publicly where people expect you to
navigate it through their leans of how you should operate.
Does that make sense? Yes? And and that's a there's
a lot of things in that, but I think that
(24:55):
the one thing that stuck out to me is navigated
through their lens, which has been so hard. Um. But
I will say I think that becoming the Bachelorette really
pushed me to be able to, um, really stand my
ground and address myself how I do identify, because I
(25:16):
do feel like for so long, I too didn't really
know what side to go with because I feel like
people just automatically assume, you know, I'm black and and
I would say yeah, and but the thing is like,
I'm half Mexican too, but because I don't look half Mexican,
like nobody even played into that. So when I would
be like, oh, yeah, I'm half Mexican, they'd like know
(25:37):
why it wouldn't believe me. Um. But also I feel
like Um. You know, when I say I'm biracial, you know,
the Mexican side to me, it's like, well, you know,
why can't you just proudly say you're Mexican? And the
black side of me is like, well, why could you
proudly say that you're black? Why do you have to
do you feel like you're you know, flipping sides to it.
I'm like, no, because that's who I am quite literally,
(26:00):
both sides literally who I'm. How can you tell me
to identify? Like she was one? Um? And I think
for so long as a kid, we're not even teach
to like embrace that you're biracial or like all sides
of you. And I had brought this up previously, but
like when like you're identifying yourself on like one of
(26:20):
those testing things that you turn in every single year,
there's always like, you know, you're black, you're white, your Caucasian,
your Asian, whatever, and it never says that you can
be Mexican and black at the same time. So I
always questioned, like what do I circle here, and like
I'm not kidding you. One year I would do Mexican,
the next year I would do yeah. Because I never
knew and I felt a kid exactly. I mean, I remember,
(26:44):
you know, when Megan Markel had first started dating Printerion.
I was at the time, we were reporting obviously a
lot on like who is this some beautiful woman whose
called the Prince design. I remember reading a story that
she was saying about that exact issue of just like,
I'm not black or white. I'm black and white, and
I'm happy and proud to be both, and there's no
(27:06):
box to check for that, you know, and so as
one exactly, it's like, what are you telling a child
about their identity? And you're really setting them up for failure,
I think for the rest of their life if they
sort of internalize that idea that they have to um
denounce or walk away from or ignore one side of
(27:26):
themselves to be embraced by the other. Do you feel
like that has changed over the years. How has that
experience been for you through your teenage years into your
twenties and thirties. Do you feel like you can kind
of openly embrace both sides or do you still feel
that pressure publicly, particularly being the first fire racial bachelorette.
I still think I got to like an ageing in college,
(27:47):
I was called whitewashed because I didn't talk the way
that someone thought I would needed to talk, or I
didn't dress the way someone else I would, and that
would bother me so much, Like, No, I'm not like,
how am I supposed to dress in order for you
to be like, oh you'r African American or your Mexican.
You know what I mean. It's just and I dealt
with that for a very long time still. I mean,
no one said it to my face as of recently,
(28:08):
but um, that's definitely something that I've experienced not too
long ago. Um, And I think, like I said, realizing
the platform that I do have and being the first
by rachel Bachelorette and having girls be able to see
themselves be identified if they are mixed or if they
are black and Mexican orf they are Mexican like on
(28:29):
their TV screens for the first time on such a
big show was really important for me to be like, yeah,
I'm both of them, and I'm proud of it, and
I'm going to stand for that. And no, I don't
have all the answers. No, I might not be exactly
how you want me to be, but I'm me and
I'm proud of it, and I'm continuing to grow and
embrace that. So good for you, Good for you, Thank you.
(28:50):
How has it been like interracial dating? You're an interracial
relationship obviously as am I. Um, how has that been
for you? When it came to I'm just gonna ask
you straight up with the Bachelor, right, did you feel
pressure to be like, Okay, I gotta have what black guy,
what white guy? Like the final two three, whatever? Like
otherwise Twitter is gonna drag me one way or another?
(29:12):
Like did you feel that pressure or were you genuinely
like whatever, I'm just gonna choose what I want. No,
I did not feel that pressure because it will tell
you this again, I've been married and if that were
to if if the journey were to end with me
getting engaged to somebody, I would never just do that
just to do that. But also at the same time,
I've had some good looking men on my season, okay,
(29:36):
of all ethnicities. And if there's how many times Secret's
gonna date twenty guys at one time, it's not very often.
So it's like, this is my chance, Like can I
why you know, block myself from possibly finding the love
of my life no matter how that looks like it
looks why, it doesn't matter to me. It's what's inside
(29:58):
in their personality and way more tractive that So, however
that looked I was ready for exactly. There we go,
There we go. Have you so, is it safe to
say you dated across the board like leading up to
now your engagement, well as of recently? Yes? Yeah, yeah,
oh I got that as recently. Okay, all right, I'll
(30:18):
take it. I'm thinking up what she puts out. Well,
you found your guy, you found your fiance. How is
it going with that? You talked about the fact that
you know, obviously you're engaged, but you want to slow
down and date, not really get too deep into the
wedding planning too quickly. How is the dating going. What's
the most new or surprising thing you've learned about Zach
(30:39):
through the dating process? Maybe in the last week even who, Well,
you know the dating is going. Well, it's definitely different
because we're in a pandemic and we're trying to like
figure out this bicoastal life. But also we're both just
as busy, so it's kind of hard because we're trying
(31:01):
to figure out, like I don't know how to navigate
his busy schedule with him trying to be supportive of
me and like my busy schedule and then me trying
to be supportive of So we've kind of like that's
been a little battle this past week and a half,
if I'm being completely honest. Um, but it's because you know,
like last week we went down to we were in
(31:22):
um l A. And I had a packed week and
he came down for a couple of days to get
to see my family and meet to my friends. That
had been the first time he was able to see
them since the engagement was televised, and um, like it
was kind of hard because like, I haven't seen you
all day. I'm like, look, I'm trying. This is just
a work trip, Like we have to try to navigate this.
(31:44):
I'm exhausted now. So it's like it's everyday things that people,
you know, like a life together and trying to figure
out that balance. Yeah, and you know that's the truth.
Like I could tell you it's like roses and stuff
like that, which it is most of the time he's
as in person, but you know, we're still navigating a relationship.
And I think that's why I'm just like let's just
(32:06):
like figure this out at first, you know what I mean,
ring still on. The wedding's still going to happen. We're good.
But what is the what is the newest pet peeve
that each of you has for the other, Like, what
is the thing that you both realize like, wait, they
do this? Oh my gosh, that's a good one. I'm
trying to think. Well, I think Zachary would say it's
(32:29):
me not making the bed. He like, you just piece
out in the morning. But look, apparently it's the last
thing out of the bed has to make bet And
I'm like, listen, I don't like making the bed and
so but then he sells the messy bad, messy head.
So anyway, I'm trying to work. Okay, I've never heard that.
I like it. We'll be doing it. And as far
(32:52):
as like him, what can I say? I don't know. Um,
he doesn't do much annoy you. Or maybe I'm just
like really cool and I'm just like whatever, little cucumber
you know, think what does he do? Um? He he
forgets to eat sometimes throughout the day and it makes
me go crazy because I'm starving half the time and
(33:16):
I don't know next thing you know, he's like Calet's
order food and he's like starving, like I've been hungry.
I would hate what you mean. I don't know's I'm
very crazy, all right, exactly. Well, that's good. That's good news.
He's not you know, he's not giving you too much
to work with as far as oh my god, thank god,
at least not yet. Yeah, yeah, I'll check you into
(33:37):
the couple of league. Um, what's been the most endearing
thing that you've been pleasantly surprised about the relationship as
you continue to get to know each other in this
dating phase. Mm hmmm. I think his commitment to um,
want to make time for my family, and I think
(33:58):
it's really really sweet at you know, sometimes I'm like,
why are you smiling? Who are you texting? Like I'm
texting your little brother. Like it's just little sweet things
like that. That is just he knows that that's very
important to me, and it's something he does on his own,
you know. UM, I love that. Yeah, it's just a
quality time between us two as well, like at home,
Like I'll make sure that's something that we have just
(34:20):
because our schedules are busy and we're trying to catch
up for you know time. So yeah, yeah, you mentioned
engagement still good wedding down the future, so this is
no time soon. But what does that dream wedding look like?
Have you put any thought into like what kind of
gown or flowers or colors or city? You know what.
We were actually just talking about this last night. Um,
(34:44):
as far as city, I think he wanted to say
somewhere you know, warm, and um, New York is still
on the table. Then I was thinking, you know, I
feel bad for having so many people travel, but he
wants to do like a whole weekend of that, like
an extravagance. It's gonna be like a thing. You know.
(35:04):
We want to be like on an area to where
like everyone could kind of like have lodging and we
could just like at night, just like be able to
have dinner with every single person catch up and actually
get to like catch up with your guests. Because I
had a wedding. It it's so sad. I goes by
so quickly that sometimes you don't need men to say
hi to someone exactly. That's exactly it. So I think
that's one of the main importance. But as far as dress,
(35:25):
I mean, I love to experiment with my fashion, and
I don't know, I would like to even wear like
some type of like a have a good hint of
a different color, like it probably won't just be all white,
really interesting. Are you more of a mermaid silhouette sexy
or a ball gown princess e big? You know, I
(35:46):
think I'm more of like a mermaid sexy. I like
to I like my figure and I like to like
highlight that um and I mean as much as a
ballgown is pretty, I don't know. I feel like I
need more, Like, oh, we already not. Girl. We saw
those looksing were starting on the battlarette. You saw you
get out of that pool. Girl. I was like, oh
my god, it looks amazing. Look away, Sean, look away.
(36:10):
It's so funny. I was like, what is happening? I
don't even know that was gonna happen. To trust me,
trust me before I let you go. Just a couple
of more quick questions. Obviously, this show, Hot, Happy Mess
is all about embracing the hot, the happy, and the
mess of our lives all at the same time. Um,
(36:32):
what is your key to that? Like when it comes
to balance, when it comes to mindfulness, when it comes
to finding your magic in the middle of life's messes.
How do you keep yourself centered? How does Tasha find
her center? You know, I have you ever read the
book The Four Agreements? I started it, so everyone in
the podcast knows I'm good about starting a book and
(36:53):
then finishing it never So the first two agreements were great.
But yeah, you can break it down, Well, no, it's
it's things like that. It's just I like books that
really just put things into perspective in a in a
really easy way. I think that The Four Agreements was
definitely a book that I actually found when I was
(37:14):
on The Bachelor and I tried to implement in my
daily life. And it's more of like it's taking a
step back and just being like, is it's really something
to freak out over? Um? What can I do to
help the situation or to make the situation better? And
just to take a minute and just like breathe. And
for so long I would react to things I would
(37:38):
or I would have so much stress and anxiety over
something that really didn't really need any of that stuff.
So like lately I've been trying to just kind of
like take a second really quick and is this really
that big of a deal, and I need to be
like putting my body under stress and and you know,
hangs and I get so much bad not to my shoulder.
My gosh, you know where you're going on that route.
But I just your body just like it's not good
(37:59):
for yeah, you that tension just kind of manifest physically. Yeah.
And so it's more so just taking a hot minute,
kind of centering yourself and just been like, how can
I actually fix this situation? Doesn't really require me to
react to that? Make you feel much better when you
reacted like that and just like take a minute. I
love it. I love it for me. It's often a
(38:21):
glass of wine. I mean answer, So I liked the bounce.
It's all about balance over here. Um, what is in
your happiness cocktail? Like this is not literal, it's just
like what what a little bit of travel, a little
bit of whatever did it? What would be intatious happiness cocktail? Well,
(38:44):
definitely some shopping, okay, favor a little bit of like
what's your favorite brain? Oh, you know that's really actually
really hard. I would just want to go to intermix
and it makes has all of my brands that I
like just exactly, so I would just want to go
to intermix really quick. I also love self care. So
if my brows are good, then I'm good. If I
(39:06):
have a good facial, I'm good. I love to travel,
I really really do. I love to either be. I
love to be with loved one. So if I'm traveling
with the best friend, if I'm traveling with Zachary, if
I'm traveling with my family, I'm good. It's I'm really simple. Also,
a drinking hand and drink in hand. What is the choice?
Is it the margharita margarita last night? Right now, I'm
(39:27):
drinking it. I call it a taleoma. It's a great
true and like sparkling water and just really easy fresh.
I like it. I like it. And lastly, in five years,
what does your dream life with zach look like in
a perfect world five years? Oh my gosh, um, I
(39:47):
actually wouldn't mind having a home here in New York.
Have to be a little bit bigger than the apartment
we have now. But because we would probably have about
I would talking right now, is you know it's a
good size moving out? He's like, I don't have enough space,
just like, so, when's your lease up again? Baby. He's like,
(40:12):
you're relaxing. I feel it's actually decent size, it's quare feet,
but still you have kids, right, Okay, Now we're gonna
need a little bit more space. Um. Also, I got
a lot of clothes, so I can come a closets.
But exactly so it would be probably us maybe with
(40:33):
already at one kid, if not another on the way
or just had a second. And um, I don't know,
Zack and I maybe having like a charity together, a cheery,
A charity cheery, yes, a cherry, we have a cherry.
Tell me more the cool kids doing these days? Cherry? Okay, cherry,
(40:57):
I've never got You're okay? Yeah, charity of some to
se Regarden. I think like, um, I think we could
do we could be amazing business partners and not asset
because we have big hearts for people and helping people.
So anything kind of like nonprofit or sort of cause
or yet to be determined, I would say yet to
(41:20):
be determined, but I think it would definitely be centered
around mental health. And um, I think with his field,
I think he deals with a lot more like you know, adults,
and I my soft spot is with children, So UM,
I think with that we can really touch lives of
a lot of people because to me, you know, mental health, Um,
(41:43):
it contend from being a child. So if I can
help get in pretty early, I think you know, we
could avoid in the future. So that's awesome. I love it,
all of it. Well, we will see what the next
five years brings. But in the meantime, enjoy the next
five days in New York City. Hopefully y'all can get
out to that rooftop runch sooner then later, I hope.
So it's supposed to snow here to go, never mind,
(42:04):
no stand out, Just stay in the house. Stay in
the house, come out in April, have fun exactly. So
much for joining me. This is a sum You're the best.
Thank you so much for having me. I enjoyed it,
happy but there it is special. Thanks again to Tasia
for joining me on this episode of Hot Happy Mess.
Did you love this? I had so much fun recording it.
(42:28):
I hope you had fun listening. If you loved it,
you should hit subscribe. If you are new here, then
trust me, you're gonna love it. Uh yeah, you're just
gonna love it. That's all I got to sell you
on it. Um, we have new episodes every Monday. We
are talking about everything from dating and relationships, to mental
wellness and health to the best sex ever. Because yes,
(42:52):
that is our most recent episode. Everything you've been too
shy to ask. We had a sex expert, a sex
therapist come on and answer those questions, and that was
our most recent episode. So go back check that out.
How to be single and not just pretend to love
it the craziest single years ish we have ever done.
We've got confession bonus episodes, and then we've also got
a lot about just how to be happy. That's our
(43:13):
very first episode ever. So if you want to go
back and binge, go back to the very first episode
is what I would recommend, how to be happy? But
also what the heck do I know? So yeah, don't
sue me, but take my advice if you If you
so dare, check it out, go binge, subscribe and I
will see all next Monday for another episode of Hot
(43:33):
Happy Mess. You can keep up with me on Instagram
at Zuri Hall z U R I J L L
and follow at Hot Happy Mess. I'll see you all
next week. By
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