At Peace Parents Podcast

Halloween is exciting. It is also activating. And if your child is in burnout, near their threshold, or simply wired in a way that makes novelty and sensory overload feel threatening rather than fun, even a holiday you love can become a source of dread for the whole family.

In this episode I share five tips for navigating Halloween with a PDA child or teen, drawn from seven years of doing it imperfectly in my own home. I cover what ...

Why do accommodations like lowering demands, providing autonomy, and using declarative language actually work for PDA children and teens over the long term? And why do so many parents, therapists, and teachers get stuck applying them even when they understand the concept?

In this episode, an excerpt from a live workshop I taught in 2024, I walk through what I call the theory of change for PDA: the logic that explains why these accom...

It is back to school season here in the US, and for most families raising PDA children and teens, that means navigating one of the most structurally activating environments their child will ever encounter. I am back with Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist, to talk through what we are each seeing this fall and what we have learned over years of working with and being parents of neurodivergent children.

In this episode we cover how...

Should my PDA child stay in the public school system, move to a private school, or homeschool? There is no single answer, and this episode is not going to give you one. What it is going to give you is a framework for making the decision that fits your child, your constraints, and this specific season of your family.

In this episode I walk through all five characteristics of PDA as they play out in a school or home setting, then move...

Why are so many children and teens struggling with anxiety, depression, and school refusal right now? And why are so many of them PDA? I have been carrying these questions for years, and Dr. Peter Gray's new book Restoring Childhood gave me a framework I did not have before.

Dr. Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College, founder of the nonprofit Let Grow, and author of Free to Learn and, jus...

What if a school had no mandatory classes, no grades, no homework, and no age segregation, and instead gave students a genuine vote in how the school runs? That is the Sudbury Democratic model, and it offers some real benefits for PDA children and teens.

In this episode I speak with Bryer Newlin, a youth rights and disability justice advocate, self-identified PDA adult, and staff member at Clearwater School in Seattle. We talk about...

This episode is a throwback to one of the most popular episodes in the history of this podcast, originally recorded as a live presentation I gave in 2022 at the Miami Sudbury Democratic School. I am releasing it again during September, a month I am dedicating to school and education content, because I keep hearing from teachers, therapists, and parents who are still looking for language to explain what they are seeing in the classr...

What does it look like when a school actually meets a PDA child where they are, without behavior charts, compliance goals, or pressure to perform? In this episode I speak with three remarkable people: Melissa Petro, a cultural journalist and mother of an eight-year-old PDA son who fought for years to secure him a free and appropriate education; Chela Crane, Executive Director of Otto Specht School in New York, where Melissa's son O...

What does a year of applying the PDA lens actually look like in a real family? Justin joined the Paradigm Shift Program in the summer of 2025 and is back a year later to share what shifted, what is still hard, and what he has learned along the way.

Justin is a father of two, works in cybersecurity, and lives in Ohio. His 13-year-old PDA son spent years in a specialized school before school refusal led the family to unschooling. In t...

When I first started learning about PDA six years ago, so much of what I encountered was focused on behavior. What I was not seeing discussed was something I kept observing in my own family, and have since seen in thousands of families I have worked with: the way cumulative nervous system activation can disable a child or teen from accessing the things they need to stay alive.

In this episode, an excerpt from the Understanding PDA M...

There is a lot of noise in the PDA space right now, and some of it is making parents doubt themselves and feel more confused rather than less. So I am re-airing this episode from May 2025 because I think it will help you feel more confident in the path you are on.

In this episode I share a story from a feeding support group that crystallized for me why PDA is a distinct experience, not one that can be folded into autism, ADHD, or an...

Seven years ago I created a huge spreadsheet trying to find the cause of my son's meltdowns. How many hours outside, how many minutes on screens, how many calories eaten, and much much more. But I couldn't find a consistent pattern. Something that triggered him one day might be barely noticed another. The problem was, my logic was wrong.

In this episode, an excerpt from our free Understanding PDA Masterclass, I explain why the stand...

When autonomy is low, meaning has to be high. That is what I learned during the two years I spent as a full-time caregiver for my older son, isolated in our home, and putting myself physically between him and his eighteen-month-old brother when things got bad.

In this episode I share how I found a sustaining "why" during that period, and how other families I have worked with have found theirs. I also introduce a practical tool I ca...

What does shame have to do with PDA? And why do behavioral approaches fail so consistently for this neurotype even when implemented well? I speak with Dr. Gillian Boudreau, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in autism, ADHD, and anxiety across children, families, and adults, to explore the roles of shame and power in PDA children and teens.

Dr. Boudreau draws on her early career supporting high-need autistic students in a...

If you've lowered demands for your PDA child or teen but still aren't seeing much progress, this episode is for you. It explains one of the most common sticking points I hear from families: that due to the name - Pathological Demand Avoidance - parents focused on lowering demands, when what their child needs more is increased autonomy and equality.

This episode is an excerpt from my free Understanding PDA Masterclass. In it I walk t...

This episode is an excerpt from a lesson inside the Paradigm Shift Program. I'm sharing it because the PDA lens is the foundation that all other skills in my work rest on, and it is not something most parents are going to hear explained anywhere else.

In this lesson I walk through exactly what the PDA lens is, why it has to be learned as a skill rather than just understood intellectually, and how to begin applying it. I also address...

When I first heard Jan Winhall speak about the intersection of the nervous system and addiction, I immediately thought of the PDA teens and adults in our community who are reaching for substances or engaging in self-harm.

In this episode she explains how addiction and self-harm function as nervous system state regulation strategies, what conventional models get wrong, and what it actually looks like to support someone through this f...

In this episode I share the definition of PDA I use: PDA is a survival drive for autonomy and equality that consistently overrides other survival instincts, including eating, sleeping, toileting, hygiene, and safety. I explain how this is different from older definitions that consider PDA to be anxiety driven, and why that distinction matters clinically and practically. I also I introduce the concept of equalizing - the behavioral ...

If you are a parent who cannot unschool or homeschool your PDA child, or who needs practical support navigating the school system, this episode is for you. I am joined by Dr. Destiny Huff, a licensed professional counselor, non-attorney special education advocate, and neuro-affirming trainer who is also late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD and a mother of neurodivergent children.

Dr. Huff shares the most common patterns she sees as PDA ...