Inside Thoughts Episode 4 Ft David Spade

David Spade talks with Nick about standup, acting, and having short king rizz

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
Speaking that should not have made itto the rest of us if you were
wondering that. Uh, that's mylittle sister. On the intro, asked
her to do that, and uh, it's pretty funny. I was like,
Sammy, I got this idea andI just need you to read like

(00:28):
three lines super like sarcastically and condescendingly. And she was, I don't tell
me how to read it. Iknow how to read it. And I
was like, perfect, just keepit just like that. And that's how
I want it, man, becauseit's like, dude, it just fit
perfect. Because this whole podcast isjust me being an idiot. And if

(00:49):
there's one person who loves to tellme when I'm being an idiot, it's
my little sister. Whoever. Man, Welcome to Inside Thoughts. Got a
good episode for you today. Gotto talk to David Spade, so I'll
have him on after I'm done doingall you know, my talking about stuff

(01:11):
that doesn't matter. But have DavidSpade on Inside Thoughts. How are you
doing. You're having a good week. I hope you're having a good week.
I gotta be honest, I'm havinga great week. I just got
a new car. Finally, mycar been in the shop for a while,
and I was thinking I was gonnabe stuck with this thing because I
owed a bunch of money on itand I didn't really have the money to

(01:34):
fix it. So I thought itwas gonna be stuck. I was like,
what am I gonna do? Butshout out to John Heister Willington got
me set up, bro, Igot a Dodge Challenger. I know,
I know. It was so funny. I posted the picture of me getting
it and all my buddies. Igot friends in three different states and they
all said the same thing. They'relike, this is the most Nick Jordan

(01:56):
purchase I've ever seen in my entirelife. I get it because I'm dumb.
Dude, I'm dumb. It's afast car. It's that like then
Diesel car, and I'm bald,but I'm sure and I don't have that
big of muscle, so I'm like, unwetted, you know, Ny Vinny
unwetted. Well, I just beingdumb is so fun. I saw that
car and I was just like,I gotta have it. I got to

(02:20):
have it, man. But Ido, like I do want to do
like a commercial or something for thiscar, Like Hi, man, you
know what you can do in aChallenger. He can get fast, you
can go really fast. You knowwhat you can also do? You can
drive normal and just be happy yougot a cool car. You don't have
to be loud and annoying with it. You can just relax and drive a

(02:44):
Challenger and you can get it atWillington Chevy. Because that's the thing,
dude. It's like when you buya car like that, everybody looks at
you like, ah, you choge. You know what I mean? What
is this weight? Flashy? Okay, these lights in the studio are not

(03:04):
long for this world. They gottabe from like nineteen eighty nine or something.
But anyway, I love this car. I do feel like a douche
driving it. I'm not gonna lie. I was. I was driving to
a stand up show in Collinsville,Virginia, and I stopped at a stop
white and I just I was blastingMorgan Wallen Wild Dirt Broadway Girls. I

(03:28):
love that song. It's a banger. Was blasting it. It's just like
two fine s that you're gonna findout, like don't love you and I
only love you right now? AndI was blasting that. I was at
a stop light with the windows downin my Dodge Challenger, and this old
guy in like a Volvo pulls upand I saw him like turn his head
and I like looked and we madeeye contact for a second. He just

(03:52):
shook his head and discussed, like, oh, you douche. I'm a
douche man and I'm driving a DodgeChallenger as a you know, a white
bald guy. I just say,what are you gonna do? All right?
I gotta I gott a cool car. It's my favorite car I've ever
had. I feel like a douchedriving it, but I love it.

(04:14):
You want to why because when Idrive it like gets hard, man,
I love it. I love doingdumb stuff like listen. I get everybody
wants to be smart. Like Ihave a PhD. I'm getting my doctrine.
I also have my MBA. Iget that if you're a smart person,
like you're truly a smart person,be a smart person, change the
world for the better. No things, just have them in your head,

(04:38):
know them. But if you're likeme and you were not smart, there
is no sense in trying to besmart. Just be dumb and be okay
with being dumb, because there's nothingwrong with being dumb. Most of us
are dumb. Most of us aredumb. It's fine, It's okay to
be dumb because I'll tell you what. I tell you what. It is

(04:59):
so much more on being dumb andjust buying dumb things. The only thing
that sucks about having this car though, is like before, I just I
had a Jeep Cherokee and it wasit was a good car. I'm not,
you know, trashing you if youhave a Jeep Cherokee. I've had
two of them. They're good carsup to a certain point. But at

(05:20):
no point was I ever worried aboutsomebody hitting that car, you know what
I mean. Like now i'm drivingthe Challenger, I'm worried that somebody is
going to hit my car. LikeI'm driving slower. I'm being more cautious
with it because last time I hada fast car, I had a Dodge
charger and I put it in atree, and that's not where cars are

(05:43):
supposed to go. Okay, Sothis time, you know, I'm learning
from my mistakes. I'm not drivingthis thing crazy because it's only a V
six, Like I have one ofthose type of cars that when people that
aren't in the cars see it,They're like, oh, you got a
fast car. But then when carpeople see my car, they asked me
about it. They're like, whatdo you got in there? You got

(06:03):
the scat pac, you got theV eight? Well, what's in there?
I'm like, it's a V sixand they look at me like,
oh you. I gotta be honest, I could not care less about the
engine that's in my car, youknow what I mean. Like, I'm
not a car guy. It justit looks cool, and excuse me,

(06:23):
it makes driving places more fun becauseI'm in a cool car. And if
I got to get around some slowpeople real quick on the highway, I
can just scoot over real quick handles, real nice. But I'm not a
car guy. Bro. Like mylittle cousin shout out to Eric's he's a
big car guy, and he waskind of giving me a little lip about

(06:44):
it. He's like, dude,you only got the V six. Brom
Like, what am I gonna dowith a V eight. I'm not drag
racing this car. I'm driving tomy nine to five in this thing,
I'm driving to stand up shows.I don't need a V eight, man,
What am I gonna do? That'sjust gonna drive my insurance up.
And I feel like that's part ofthe maturity of being a dumb person.
It's like, I know I'm dumb. I bought the dumb guy car,

(07:06):
but I'm being smarter with it,you know what I mean. But now
I'm just like scared of people hittingit. Because I've lived in a few
different places, like I've lived inAtlanta, lived in South Georgia with the
Northeast Ohio, lived in Southeast Texas, now live in Raleigh, North Carolina.

(07:27):
Raleigh, North Carolina has the worstdrivers in the country I have not
seen, and I've driven around mostof the country, like West Coast.
Have only driven in some places,but I've driven in most of like Texas
east over Raleigh, North Carolina hasthe worst drivers I've ever seen. Nobody

(07:47):
understands what the left wand on thehighways for. Nobody understands that the on
ramp, like the merge ramp onthe highway is for getting up to the
same speed is everybody on the highway, so you can just merge in seamlessly
and it doesn't create traffic. Peoplehere will get on the on ramp drive
in thirty miles an hour and thenget mad when you won't let them in.

(08:11):
It's like, buddy, you're gonnacause a wreck. Speed up.
That's why they give you so muchroom on those on ramps so that you
can kind of catch up to theflow of traffic and just hop in.
That's what you're supposed to do.But I swear there's a wreck here on
four to forty and forty every fiveminutes because people don't know how to drive.
And I just like, it scaresme now that I have a car

(08:33):
that I care about, because I'mso worried that somebody's just gonna hit it.
And with my luck, they're gonnahit it and not have any insurance
and they're gonna be like, wow, yeah, you're gonna have to pay
for that one out of pocket,and my insurance is gonna go up.
And I don't want that because Ialready got the car that costs a little
bit more than my last car.Insurance didn't go up that much more.

(08:54):
But because I'm thirty now, soI'm not like, you know, mid
twenties having a dumb guy car wherethe insurance company's thinking, hey, you're
gonna cost a lot every single monthto insure this car because we know you're
stupid. And they were right becausewhen I was how old was I twenty
six twenty seven? When I hadthe charger and I parked it in a

(09:16):
tree, they were right. That'sexactly what I was doing with that car.
It was a super fast car.It got places quickly, and I
wanted to use its full capabilities.And what happened. I parked it in
a tree because I'm kind of stupid, but I'm not gonna lie. This
car is so fun and I'm drivingit like an adult, going to speed
limit well ten miles an hour ofthe speed limit, because that's how fast

(09:39):
you're supposed to drive. But theother day I did maybe the laziest thing
I've ever done in my entire life, because I got like this low key
beef with this Taco Bell by myhouse down here. First of all,
they are the funniest Taco Bell I'veever encountered in all my days of going
to Taco Bell. Taco bellt lifer. I've been going Taco Bell for a

(10:01):
long time. They've always been therefor me when I was poor. They
have the dollar menu and they're gonnaget you some food. It doesn't matter.
But this one taco belt near myhouse. So like one time I
went there, it was like seveno'clock at night, maybe seven thirty,
and I pulled up to get somefood. It was a Sunday. I
was like, you know, it'sa cheat day. I don't care.
I pulled up to the drive throughand the lady on the drive through goes,

(10:24):
we're closed. I was like,what, the sun's still out,
how are you closed? And theyjust didn't want to work anymore. They're
just like, no, I'm notdoing this. We're closed. I don't
feel like serving you food. AndI was mad at first, but then
as I was driving away, Iwas like, you know what, I
actually kind of respect that a littlebit, you know what I mean,
Like they're working a job that theydon't care about, and they just got

(10:48):
to the point where it was theend of the week. They had obviously
gotten all the hours they were gonnaget. Taco bell is probably not giving
them overtime, and they just thought, yeah, you know what, these
people I'm not or I'm not servinganybody else, don't care. You're not
getting your taco Bellets go home andmake dinner. I almost respect that,
so I went back to this placethe other day and I pulled up at

(11:11):
the drive through and I was lookingat the menu, and the lady came
through on the drive through window andgoes, hey, our drive throughs down,
you gotta come in. I waslike, what you're talking to me
through the drive The drive through works. Maybe the register right at the window

(11:33):
doesn't work, but just you gotthe headset on take my order and go
punch it into the computer that works, like at the counter inside and take
my order. So I have togo in. But did I say that?
No, I'm a little So Iparked, went inside and ordered fast
food inside. You understand how lazythat is, because, first of all,

(11:54):
if you're getting fast food, you'rebeing lazy off rip because you didn't
want to cook food, and youprobably don't have the money to go sit
down at a nice restaurant. Ormaybe you're just crunched for time. It's
whatever, but you're being lazy anytimeyou go to a fast food restaurant.
You should almost never go into afast food restaurant, but I did.
I went in there, got myfood, and you know, I felt,

(12:20):
you know, like a piece oftrash walking out of there. But
Taco Bell was delicious. I justI laugh when fast food workers come up
with a why to not work.I would almost rather than just be honest
with you and be like, hey, buddy, I don't feel like working
right now. You showed up atthe wrong time, sorry about it.
Like I was telling you when theTaco Bell workers were just like, no,
we're closed. It's like it's seventhirty, you're not closed. Like

(12:43):
I'm not gonna do anything, andbe like, well, you know,
let me get on the phone tocorporate and I'm gonna write a strongly word
in emails with the drop and water. I don't care that much. I
took a chance because I didn't wantto cook my own food and I went
somewhere else and you didn't feel likeworking. I respect that, But like
you go to McDonald's. How manytimes have you heard that where you pull
up and you're like, I haven'thad a mc floury in a long time.

(13:03):
You know what I want right now? I'm mc flourd. You pull
up and they go our ice creammachine is broken right now, so there's
no mcflourdy. No, you justdidn't want to have to do the two
three extra steps to make the mcflurry, and I get it because you're
working in McDonald's. I get it. But just don't lie to me.
Just say hey, I feel likeworking that hard today. Sorry that you

(13:24):
came at the wrong time. Nexttime, catch me early on in the
shift when I still have a littlebit of hustle in me. But if
you catch me at the end ofthe shift, no, I'm not doing
that. I respected a little bitthat was. I was driving around today
and I saw maybe the funniest likecar decal I've ever seen in my entire

(13:48):
wife. Because most of the time, if you put car decals or like
cars stickers on your car, you'rea dumb person, you know what I
mean. Like you bought this expensivemachine that gets you from A to B,
and you're gonna ruin it by puttingI have an honor student in my
car right now. Nobody cares.You got a dumb kid. He's not

(14:11):
in target classes. Okay, hemade honor roll one time, and you're
like, print the bumper stickers puton the car so all these people know
that I have smart jeans that I'mdriving around. You put a sticker on
your car, you idiot. Somost of the time. I don't like
it. Every once in a whilethere's funny ones, like the t Rex

(14:31):
ate my family bumper sticker. It'slike, okay, whoever is in that
relationship obviously is married to someone wholikes stickers on the car. But they're
gonna have fun with it because peoplewill put like, okay, so we
have the dad, we have themom, and we have three children,
and they all like different sports.Let me go ahead and tell you which

(14:52):
sports they like, so that ifyou're a pedophile, you can figure out
where they are and take them afterbaseball practice. Like it's dumb putting stickers
on your car, explaining who youare as a person and what your kids
do, you know what I mean. But some people have fun with it,
and they'll be like, there's themom, there's the dad, and
then there's a t Rex that's eatingour third child right now. We didn't

(15:13):
actually like the third child. Theywere a mistake, but it's okay,
like you know what I mean.So every once in a while people have
fun with the bumper stickers. Buttoday I saw the funniest one. I've
never seen this before. This personin this car had a dog sticker a

(15:35):
chicken sticker, a deer sticker,a squirrel sticker, and a bunny sticker,
and it had Tally's next to eachone of these animals, and I'm
pretty sure this person was putting themup there, like that's how many of
those animals they've hit in that car. I have never laughed that hard looking

(15:58):
at somebody's car sticker before. Iwas at the light laughing my off.
Bro. I was like, oh, my goodness, this person has to
be unhinged a little bit, because, okay, let's just say we give
them the benefit of the doubt.And they're just aware of what people think

(16:18):
of bumper stickers, like you puta bumper sticker on your car, you're
kind of dumb. But they didit as something funny. So if you're
sitting behind them in this car thatthey have they don't really care about that
much, you're gonna laugh a littlebit. Maybe we'll give them the benefit
of the doubt. On the flipside of that, maybe this person is
someone the FBI should look into.And anytime a living breathing animal runs across

(16:41):
the road, they're hitting it becausethey're like, oh, that was a
squirrel. Ten points for me,Good job. Let me go to Amazon
and have them overnight in another littletally mark so that I can put it
up on my car and people knowthe accurate score of how many animals I've
taken out in my super roof forrest. I was so hard at this stup

(17:07):
little decail. So I hope thatperson is not a serial killer, but
on the off chance they are,FBI, you should it was a super
hu forcer. I'm not going togive out the license plate because I'm not
a snitch, but I'm just sayingthis person has the ability to be dangerous
if they're seeing animals crossing the streetand they're hitting them on purpose and then
showing off their work. That's whatlike old Warwards did back before you know,

(17:32):
we had internet and books. Theywere like, Okay, we gotta
make sure that everybody knows we're thebaddest people in this you know, little
tribe. So anybody that comes inthem, we're gonna kill them, or
we're gonna kill a rabbit and putit on a steak right out front so
they know we mean business. That'swhat this person was doing with these bumper
stickers. There was anytime I seePeter cottentail walking across the street. Just

(17:56):
do his a little hippie hop.Sorrybody, wrong time, wrong place.
It's ten points for me. Bothput another decal up on my super Roof
Force. Oh man, I hadhad a fun weekend. I had to
go down to this craft beer event. It's called Brugaloo in downtown Raleigh,

(18:19):
and oh my goodness, so manythings I want to say about it,
Like beer festivals to me are funnybecause it's, first of all, it's
something to do. Like they're fun, it's something to do. It's like,
hey, I don't want to goto the bars like we normally do,
but I still have a drinking problem. It's nice out. You want

(18:41):
to go down to this beer festival. Sure, hall overspend for some beer
that doesn't cost that much, butit'll be something to do. We can
have fun. But basically, beerfestivals in cities are just simulating what it
would be like walking through a barfor two miles. It's like, hey,
we're gonna block off Main Street,but there's still gonna be eight hundred

(19:03):
people in here, so you're justgonna be bumping into everybody trying to get
to where you want to go andstanding in lines. Oh what are we
doing, Like, are we allowedto drink beer in a park? Because
that's a lot. I just Ihate drinking around too many people, you
know what I mean? Because youalways running into the frat bros who it's
it's their block. They're like,hey, dude, got Mike Ken Griffy

(19:26):
junior jersey on me and my brosthat are all wearing the same jersey.
We're just elbowing everybody that walks by. And if you try and get past
me. I know you said excuseme, but if you're trying to get
past me, I don't want tomove or I'm feeling frisky, I'm gonna
I'm just gonna bow up on you. Dude, like you want to fight
right now. It's like, butit's something you gotta do because you run

(19:48):
out of things to do as anadult, I guess, especially win,
most of the things you do arebased around drinking, so you go to
a beer fest. But I sawmaybe the worst advertising for a food truck
I've ever seen. My entire wife, Like, I'm not trying to make
anybody mad by saying this, butI just I saw this and I was
thinking, no way, your foodtastes good. I didn't try it.

(20:12):
They probably have good food. Butit was a food truck. It was
a taco food truck and the namewas Los gring Us. Dude, do
you kid me? You want meto know white ladies are making these TACCOs.
I know they don't taste good.Bro no seasoning in any of these
tacos, and they're just putting fruit, like well pineapple slices in the tacco

(20:34):
for no reason. If I'm gettinga food truck tacco, I wanted to
have three ingredients in it. AllI need to know is that the tortillas
are good, the meat is good, and then you can throw like some
cilantro or onions in there. That'sliterally all you need for a good taco,
if the food's actually good. ButI saw this place and it was

(20:55):
like, we're a Loss gring Uswhere it's just some white girls. We
got a food truck and we're gonnasell you these tacos, Like the is
gonna be the most bland tortillas I'veever tasted by titled Oh man, how
long have I been talking about twentyminutes? All right, let's get to
the most ridiculous headline of the weekand then get David Spade on here.

(21:22):
I saw this and I laughed prettyhard, because this is why the old
saying ignorance is bliss exists, becausethe devil's in the details. There's certain
things you just don't need to know. So the headline is a Colorado couple
who have been married for seventeen yearsfound out their cousins after taking a DNA

(21:45):
test. They were sitting around theyhad nothing else to do. They've got
the seventeen years, they have children, they've been married for almost two decades.
They have run out of all thebeer fests that they're gonna go to.
They're not traveling as much anymore.They're sick of their same old stories.
And they're like, hey, youwant to figure out how white we

(22:06):
are? And they found out theywere super white, dude, So they
took one of those it's like twentythree in me. It's like, okay,
just like swap the inside of yourcheek real quick. We'll put this
in, send it out, andthen we'll find out if we're vikings.
And found out there were hillbillies,bro, And they interviewed the wife.

(22:26):
First of all, if you findthis stuff out, this is like,
I don't understand why people share somuch information as they do on the internet.
That's the one problem we have withthe internet. You don't need to
tell everybody everything. Okay, there'ssome things that are inside thoughts, shameless
plug. You can just keep thoseinside thoughts. Not everything is an outside

(22:48):
thought. But this lady found outthat she was cousins with her husband and
thought, you know what, I'mgonna put this on TikTok, and then
a news out would found it andwas like, hey, can we interview
you? And instead of going no, I don't want to have any more
press about this, she goes,yes, let me talk about my cousin

(23:08):
for seventeen. She said the resultsleft her depressed and that she even considered
getting a divorce, according to thereport, but her husband helped her move
forward from the shocking discovery because thehusband was probably like, all right,
what are we gonna do? Like, we've already done, We've already done

(23:30):
the deed. Okay. You havea couple rules when you get married.
One of them is don't cheat onyour spouse, and the other one is
don't marry your cousin. Those arelike the two rules for getting married.
If you can follow those you'll havea great marriage maybe, but they broke
one of the rules. So insteadof talking about it more, the husband
was just like, hey, we'vealready done it, So she said,

(23:52):
I was like, should we getdivorced? Are we even supposed to be
together? I started rethinking, andthen after a while I was like,
Nope, We're just staying together.There's nothing we can do about it,
and I'm not going to let someblood come between us. She told this
to People magazine. Why are youwedding? Everybody in the country know that
you were dumb enough to marry yourcousin and have a bunch of kids,

(24:14):
to be married for seventeen years,not even like we can't what the neighbors
know. Let's go to People magazineand tell everybody how stupid we are.
She said. My kids and myhusband are my everything, and we looked
past it, she wrote in thecaption she posted this on Instagram. Stop
sharing so much of your wife onsocial media. She said, all of

(24:37):
our kids have ten fingers and tentoes. It's a good ice breaker.
Can you imagine why you're looking forlike an icebreaker as an adult to try
and find new friends like you showup to the PTA meeting for your kids,

(24:59):
like, hey, how long haveyou guys been married? Well,
we've been married for about eight years. Fred, here's a doctor. You
know, I'm I'm a stay athome mom. You know. We just
we have a couple of kids.And Billie really loves baseball. And then
she starts talking. She's like,actually, my husband are cousins, and
luckily all of our kids have alltheir fingers where they're supposed to be.

(25:22):
You're not getting invited to any cookoutstelling this to people. Bro, There's
just certain things you don't need totell everybody. And it's fine, Like,
I know, the Internet opened everythingup, like, oh this is
a safe space. We're all connected. No, you don't need to tell
everybody everything. I feel so badfor these people. I at least hope

(25:45):
that now they're just kind of likehaving fun with it, because after you
know that kind of information, there'sonly one thing you could do. It
You just gotta laugh about it,you know what I mean? Because you
married somebody to been married for seventeenyears. Obviously they love each other,
but you like get into bed andyour wife asked you, like did you

(26:10):
shut the garage? You empty outthe dishwasher. You're just gonna be like
I got it, because, Oh, ignorance is bliss. The devil is
in the details. You do notneed to know everything in this life.
And it's okay being done. Andwith that, I think it's time to

(26:33):
get into this David Spade to interviewNick. What's going on? Bud going
on? David? I appreciate youtaking the time to talk to him.
Man, Oh, you got anaccent so real? Do I sound like
I can't read books? Exactly?And they didn't send me some funny maloney.
This guy's legit. Man, Iwas I was hoping I sounded smarter
over the phone, but apparently not. Nope, Nope, sound retarded.

(26:57):
All right, cool, that's good. Are you excited to come to Durham?
What tomorrow you're going to be inhere? You're getting on a play
right now? Or what you're doing? Yeah, on the way to the
airport. They'd like you to comea day early, so you don't,
you know, mess it up?I got you. Oh, when you're
the first day of like a run, it's it's more of a chance I'll

(27:19):
make it because I go the daybefore and then the rest of them.
I have to wake up and goon the early flights. You know,
you gotta hope you don't get aflight cancel. You're flying in private jets.
Are you hopping on Southwest or whatare you doing well? I asked
to Adam if I could use thejets for a while, but he's on
the road too. I actually wouldbe doing a few with him right now.

(27:40):
But I got you guys, Igot Nashville, I got a lot
of fun ones. So I'm gonnahave my own little run. That's what's
up. Weren't you here with Adamat PNC Arena? What last year?
Was that what we played? BecauseI was asking someone about that. If
it was, it was great becauseI did Charlotte once on myself. I

(28:00):
remember that was a great arena,as I recalled correctly. Yeah, So
PNCS and Raleigh and then you'll bea d pack in Durham and I don't
know how much time you're gonna haveto go get some food. But if
you need some good soul food,go find this place called the Dankery,
like dank weed. It's called thedank Jesus Dankery. Yeah, you know,

(28:21):
some people on Twitter sent some ribplaces and so I think I'm gonna
be set because I'm gonna go Ribsfor breakfast, Bank for lunch and something.
I'll dragging the plane to wreak thatout. Dude, Ribs for breakfast.
You're gonna have a heart attack beforeyou even get out, I know,
but I gotta do what I'm supposedto do that. You know,

(28:41):
I feel you. But it's coolthat you're coming back here. I did
want to ask, though, like, you're a comedian and an actor,
so which one do you like more? You know, the movies are more
fun when they come out. Imean, the dam is just really really
tough because of the hours, butit's they have waves of being fun,
and you know, you have agood squad with you, like obviously growing

(29:02):
up and that kind of stuff.It's really fun, right. But when
you're just sign your own in somecity you don't know and you didn't a
hotel and shoot and memorized lines andit is kind of work. No one
wants to hear that, but partof it is work. But the stand
up is very challenging because you goout and immediately it's good or not,
and you can't really blame that.Many people wouldn't bet right, like,

(29:23):
Okay, got to throw that partof the set away. Now, I
still try to blame people, butit usually comes back to me. I
got you. So what can peoplelook forward to in your show tomorrow?
A glorious laughter and time away fromthe kids. I don't know. I

(29:45):
just you know. I did itspecial about a year ago, and I
had to change some of that stuffaround, even though I really like a
lot of that stuff. I tookprobably eight out and have been working on
new stuff. So it's gonna begreat. Me. I am excited to
come there and I just hope everyonehas a good time and see the guy

(30:06):
they saw in some movie they rememberthat was funny. That's what's up man.
So, so you're doing a newshow that's coming out called Snake Oil.
You guys just like, yeah,yeah, you spoofing Shark Tank or
something. Because I was reading it, I was like, Oh, somebody
actually going to come up here withtheir entrepreneurial business and have you shot on
them or what's it'll be sort oflike that, Like it'll be let's say

(30:27):
one person has it's like Shark Tank, but one of them's sake. So
they pitch to the contestants and thenthey have to invest or guests. Which
one is the fake one? Igot you that's not. If they do,
they lose their money. Oh okay, when when's that supposed to come
out? I don't you know.We do it in Atlanta coming up in

(30:48):
about a month or so. Sothey'll do it and then they'll pop it
on maybe in the fall. Iactually don't know. All right, I'm
gonna ask you one more question andthen UM, I'll let you get out
here because I know you're busy.But um, sure, So you're on
the internet a lot. I'm sureyou see all the stupid stuff that people
say. But do you know whatRIZ is like? If you have riz

(31:08):
with the girls? No? Okay, so it's like what young people call
charisma now Charriz scott it. Yeah, you gotta call it the Riz.
So you're five to seven, whichon the internet you would have short king
Riz. Do you have any advicefor any of the other short kings out
there on how to get some riz? Because you got you got a pretty

(31:30):
good resume on you. I gota good riz z. Well. I
do hate when I say that becauseor just say five to seven, because
all these girls the internet like theguy's got to be six four, And
I just think, what if Isaid a girl had to be skinny?
I mean right, because you know, wait, you can actually do something

(31:55):
about If I could go on anddiet and gain five inches, I would
do it. Just vegetables like crazy. I'm growing now. Yeah. Yeah,
I'm kind of stuck here, butat least I'm trying to scramble something
together with it. That's why Ihave to write more jokes for a normal
person because it's my only chance outthere. Okay, so be funny,

(32:15):
because that's all I do it.I'm five eight, so I'm right there
with you, and my friends willsend me tweet so like, hey,
I saw a hawk on Main Streetout there today. Be careful it might
come get you. Yeah, Ihate that guy for you. Yeah,
I appreciate you man. And thenone more favor, I'm gonna ask you.
You're not gonna hurt my feelings ifyou say no. But my wol
cousin watches Emperor's New Groove on awhoop, So ye, would you mind

(32:37):
saying, hey, Sarah, likeyou threw off my groove? Oh yeah,
okay, Hey Sarah, it's cuztoe no touchy you threw off my
groove's get me my bad. SoI appreciate right, dude, that's awesome.
Well, hey, we'll cooing forwardto the show. I hope you
murder And is there anything else youwant to promote for I let you go.

(32:58):
No, I appreciate it, buddy, Thank you. All right,
have a good time, bro,and try to you know, go for
a jog or take some mask burn. After you have rips for breakfast,
I can't wait. I'll just throwthem in a blender and chug it.
Alright to cold money, So coldmoney, So cold money, So cold money.