Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Rashan McDonald. Welcome to the
Money Making Conversations Masterclass. As I stated earlier, the information
and interviews and information that this show provides off for everyone.
I'm here to help you reach your American dream. Just listen,
and if you listen carefully to my guest, So what
I'm trying to say, i am not trying to win
you over. I'm just trying to give you information that
(00:22):
you can take and kind of like marinate and make
your life better. And so that's what we do. If
we meet, we listen, we talk, and we become friends
and we win. If you want to be a guest
on my show, please visit Moneymakingconversations dot com and click
the b I Guess button. Let's get this show started
because she's on the line. My guest transitioned from her
(00:44):
role as a consultant for the Defense Intelligence Agency to
become one of America's most prominent team leadership and performance
coaches from startups to multimillion dollar enterprises. She drives consistent
and remarkable results. Please He's welcome to Money Making Conversation
Mathster Class. Annie Yachts.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
How you doing, Annie, I'm.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Great, I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Now, where are you calling from? So I can make
sure everybody knows the democratic the geographical locations and time
zones you're working from today.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Well, I am out of person to Utah today. Okay,
so I'm in a good zone.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I hope. Good show. Oh great, So I'm East Mesia.
Two hours of two hour times all different.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Thank you for being able to marry the time because
it's a live show and you got to call in
on time. Now now, and this is the first time
we talked, and I I had you on my podcast
and the information you were delivering to me and my
audience on my podcast, I thought it was so incredible
that I wanted to share to my live audience in
the Atlanta, Georgia area and also streams the worldwide on
(01:47):
Money Making Conversations master class. Can you tell everybody before
we really get into the nuts and boats of the
interview what you do?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Sure, I'd love you. So I help a very ambitious,
high performing entrepreneurs who struggle with that balance between home
life and business growth, who are really looking to scale
and grow rapidly, but they don't know what that missing
link is or what's holding them back from obtaining more
in their life.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Now here was the interesting thing about it, because I
was going through the interview and then I went north.
Stal Leadership is a company driven to help already successful
male entrepreneurs surpass revenue ceilings by redefining that leadership at
home and in the office that balance. You always talking
(02:32):
about women and parenting and the children and all that,
But we tend to leave the stress that men are under.
How do they you know, they get up, we go,
we get up, I have to clean out to include
myself and Andy. We get up, we go to work,
deal with all that stress. Then we come back home
and we don't know how to kind of like navigate
(02:52):
the relationship we either have with our spouse or the
significant other who may be at home waiting to have
a conversation with you, and you don't feel you don't
know how to turn it off or turn it off.
Talk to us about that transition.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Sure, that transition that honestly is one of the hardest
things for so many of the men that I coach,
because you're you know, you're on all day at the
office or in your business. You're absolutely crushing it. You're
getting validated because you're creating incredible impact. And then a
lot of men they'll sit in there, you know, in
their cars, and they driveway the way home and just
be like, gosh, I don't even know if I want
to go into my house right now because I don't
know what I'm going to walk into. And so what's
(03:27):
been interesting is when we talk about that transition, it's
almost like we got to make sure that men have
some downtime in between the office persona that they need
to play and that sort of husband, lover, father persona
that they need to have now when they walk through
the door, and that transition time. For most men, they
don't get it. They don't have the ability to have
that time because they're rushing from one thing to the next.
(03:48):
And that also contributes them not being able to turn
off their brain or their mind and to be really
present with their family.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Too well, you know, and I have that problem too.
I do have that problem. I'll go home any and
my wife will go or what you do today, and
I just look at her because I'll just look at her,
you know, because I know what I've done. But then
do I want.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
To through it all share that information?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
And so can you give Rushaun McDonald and my male
listeners and also the women who are listening to the
show who are dealing with these issues with men like
me who come home knowing we have to communicate, knowing
we because we've been communicating all day now.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It's not like we can't talk to day all day now.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
We have to come home and then do a different
version of it, but be comfortable about it and don't
feel like why you bothering me type attitude talk to well, well.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Let me give you the secret sauce here. And you
might think this a little bit out there, right, But
what I can tell you is that if a man
is able to take some transition time between when he
leaves the office and he comes home, and when I
tell most men to do is I tell them to
think about, and this might be controversial, to think about
the time they've had with their spouse, with significant other
where they were like they were feeling super sexually connected
(05:01):
to them, right, because that usually allows a man to
shift out of that work persona into something into like
that you know, more of that like husband, lover persona,
and when you walk into the house feeling those feelings
of being more emotionally connected than when your spouse says
to you like, well what'd you do today? Right? The
whole point there is you can either redirect it back
(05:22):
onto her and be like, well maybe I want to
hear what you did today, you know, or or right,
you can say you can walk in and you can
be like, you know what, I would love to just
have a moment to connect with you rather than going
back through my entire day, because connection is what's the
most important thing.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So it's like you watch a movie or something, or
share our meal or do something together. That's what you
are suggesting, Well, it could.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Be that, But what I like to have a lot
of couples do, or significant others do and they're together,
is spend five minutes just almost like sitting next to
each other, touching each other, holding each other's hands, even
looking to each other's eyes, just to calm the nervous
system enough that men and women together or significant others
together can feel that connection again, because when we rush
(06:06):
through our day, we're not feeling the connection. We're just
going from one thing to the next thing. And what
most couples like is that connection intimacy of just straining
to each other's eyes and seeing each other.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Now you said something with a part of it.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, you said something early and like creating a down moment,
like you said. Now, I don't go home and sit
in my driveway. You know, I don't do that now,
But sometimes when I my staff leaves at five, I'll
like an hour, I'll go through different things and because
I don't have them to deal with now now it's
just Shane by himself, and it allows me to slow
(06:39):
down a little bit and think about I might turn
on ESPN, I might do different things that have got
me out of this dominating We.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Got to decompress here, right, decompressed and so and so?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Is that is that what I'm doing? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Would you suggest that to individuals who are dealing with
this massive amount of information they are dealing with at
the office before they go home talk to us.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yes. So, what I typically recommend for almost all men
who are high powered, high ambition guys, is that they
have to take at least half an hour between leaving
the office and getting home to decompress. And usually what
that looks like is I have them spend about ten
minutes writing down all the things that they're concerned about,
because at the end of the day. If your brain
(07:23):
is still looping on everything you've been working on, it
feels like you have thousands of open loops and we
need to close those off in order for you to
be present when you get home. So the first ten
minutes you plan writing down everything that comes to your
mind that you don't want to forget or you're worried about.
Then you spend ten minutes doing some activity that's a
little bit mindless. It can be listening to music that
makes you feel jazzed up. It can be taking a
(07:44):
ten minute ESPN break. It could be anything though that's
not on your phone per se, but might be on
a screen in front of you. We just don't want
you to be locked into your phone, if that's possible.
And then after those ten minutes, I tell them, for
five to ten minutes, I want you to think of
all the amazing moments and memories you've had with your
spouse or significant other. Now I want you to go
(08:04):
from whether it's a vacation you've been on together or
an incredible intimate encounter you've had. I just want the
men to think about that for five to ten minutes
before they leave the office, because that puts you in
a completely different zone of emotion, of feeling of connection,
and it makes you want to go home to experience
more of that. Okay, so it's almost like a thirty minute,
(08:25):
you know, package of ten minutes, you know, just to
reset yourself a little bit and download everything from the day.
Ten minutes to be in a decompression zone, and then
ten minutes to be in the memories and the feelings
of how amazing your relationship has been in the past.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Now here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Whoever's waiting on us at home, they know, they know,
they know who's coming home. They know they've they've been
dealing with this. What can they do at the house.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
On this this this non.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Verbally communicating master come through the door, there's wired up intents.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
What can they do to prepare for that, to offset
it a little bit?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Well, I can tell you what I've coached a lot
of women on doing. But it may not be it
may be controversial, right.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Oh no, don't do peper controversial.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I'm just gonna tell you, like these women, I'm like,
it is your job make sure that you have taken
at least half an hour to an hour for yourself
some way. So that you're not, you know, waiting for
him to walk through the door to jump on him
right right. You can jump on it if you want to,
in a hugging, like touching, kissing way. The whole point
is when the man walks into the home, we typically
(09:35):
need to give him at least a wide birth of
ten to fifteen minutes him to settle in pepper him
with questions or before we ask him about his day,
like I just like to you know, when I've been
in relationships, I let the men walk into the room,
I say nothing other than maybe I'll go over and
give him a big hug and a kiss and be like,
I'm so happy you're home. And then I distanced myself
to give him time and space to settle. And I
make sure that when my man walks through the door
(09:57):
that I have done whatever I needed to to call
my energy down and to get more into this beautiful
feminine connection vibe. Because from my perspective, the man gets
to do what he gets to do to transition, but so
does the woman. We have a job to do as.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Well, right because it's all about connecting.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
It's all about you know, carrying that moment of positivity
and not allowing that's what you said, nor Star leadership
is a company driven to help already successful male entrepreneurs.
Is talking about revenue, that's what you've been doing all day,
but redefining a leadership at home, and I should also
say relationship at home and in the office. That's that's
(10:33):
why it was important that I wanted to bring you
on the show and also be honest about what I'm
doing and what, well how I'm affected by.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
But you used the word when we talked earlier.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Trauma, and how does that affect the entrepreneur, the word
trauma because you rarely hear.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, you rarely hear that word. But what I would
tell everyone listening is that when you are an entrepreneur,
it means that you've gone through something in your life
that created almost like some kale us that you wanted
to be able to manage and control. And so as
an entrepreneur, we have had so many moments in our
lives where we've perceived a loss of control. And if
(11:09):
you think about back into your childhood, right these moments
where you perceive a loss of control and you feel
helpless or unable to respond to something. If you get
really good at managing that as a child you're going
to become an entrepreneur because you can then get really
good at putting out fires and solving problems and being
the person that everybody comes to to get help or
to get something done. And so as entrepreneurs, it's really
(11:32):
important to look at your childhood a bit and be like, Okay,
what was my childhood? Was there chaos there that I
had to manage? Because more often than not, we will
create chaos and business as an entrepreneur to try to
manage that same thing. And so I believe that all
entrepreneurs have some level of trauma in their background, and
it's very interesting to look at if you have a
(11:53):
dynamic in your home environment that's not as stable as
you want. I would say about ninety percent of entrepreneurs
can't grow and scale their busines because they don't feel
like they have the stability at home to grow in scale,
even though they might want to, even though they might
be working around the clock and really grinding, they might
not be able to change the state of their business
until they lead differently at home and they take that
(12:13):
then into their business life.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Okay, cool, this.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Is all great, I feel I'm becoming a better person,
and hopefully every person who's listening is becoming a better person.
And really the interviewer is focusing on the men and
what we have to acknowledge because pride sets in works
like weakness to can set in and hold back to change.
There are a lot of bad words that we use
(12:38):
as men that prevent us from making the steps that
you are suggesting.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Correct any very very.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
True, very true, and many men are you know, we
don't like to ask for help, whether we're high powered
men or high powered women, right because we think that
asking for help is something that makes us weak or vulnerable.
But the reality is, as we go to higher levels
of performance for ourselves our business, the more we ask
for help, the more we allow other people to be
on purpose in our lives. So I think of asking
(13:07):
for help now, and I always tell myself every single
person that I ask for help from, they can step
into their purpose, which means they're going to be more motivated,
more inspired. And if I can give that to a
member of my team, then everybody is winning. So I
always look at asking for help now as an ability
to give somebody purpose. And so we have to change
some of these paradigms as to how we think about
(13:28):
ourselves and how we think about reaching out for support.
Otherwise we aren't going to up level our performance cool.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I'm speaking one of America's most prominent team leadership and
performance coaches. Northshore Leadership is a company her name Anny Yacht.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Please don't go anywhere, We'll be right back with more
money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money Making
Conversations Masterclass, hosted by Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations Masterclass
continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow money Making
(14:06):
Conversations Masterclass on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Nostrul Leadership, that's the company that Annie Yacht founded, is
driven to have already successful male entrepreneurs surpass revenue ceilings
by redefining that leadership.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Role at home and in the office.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I told you earlier any that this is a live show,
unlike my podcast. So already my phone is blowing up
with text mail. Okay, and one of the questions that
keeps coming back rotating on my text is okay with Sean,
what about dual incomes? What about if the woman works
(14:43):
and the man works? Okay, She's not waiting at home
for him to arride all ten stuff and warn not.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
How do you deal with that? Annie?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yes, well I've got an answer for you. So here's
what it really comes down to, ladies and gentlemen. It
comes down to the fact that both partners is inner
relationship need to spend time decompressing before they re enter
the connection point of their relationship, which is the home.
So I would say the same thing to a man
that I would say to a woman here, which is
you have to have that decompression transition time where you
(15:14):
reconnect to who you are as a connected spouse or partner,
so you can feel those same feelings that got you
involved with that person from the get go. And most
of us we raised from job to home, to dinner
to you know, family time, then to bed, and we're
not very present for most of it. What I'm asking
everybody to do is slow way down and give yourselves
a chance to reconnect to the feeling that got you
(15:37):
into that relationship with that person to start, so they
can be much more present in all of your interaction
with them once you walk through those doors. Whether you're
the breadwinner or a dual breadwinner couple or you know,
it's some variety of both of those.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Now you say, it's something interesting that when we talk
about entrepreneurship, I always see people having different visions to
their pathway to be an utopy. How did you see
this as an opportunity for you? Did something happen period
of time you start seeing patterns in relationships? How did
you develop this as a form of entrepreneurship for your career?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
So, to be really upfront with you, what I'd noticed.
I started working with a lot of companies at first,
and there were these high level executive teams that I
would work with, and what I started noticing is I
could teach the team how to be extreme high level performers,
but then the CEO or the entrepreneur would keep jumping
back in to try to fix things or change things
after the team was performing at a much higher level.
(16:35):
And after watching this for about ten years, I was like,
I can't teach the team. I'm going to go after
this entrepreneur and figure out what is causing this entrepreneur
keep jumping back in even though the goal of the
entrepreneur is to get out of the organization and be
able to grow the organization without having to be involved
in the weeds all the time. And what I also
realized was these entrepreneurs they had some pattern in them
(16:57):
that was keeping them stuck in a level of their
own performance. So once I started digging in a little
bit deeper there, I started to see the patterns across
a variety of different entrepreneurs. And that's when I actually realized,
for Sean that my ex husband and I we had
very similar trauma patterns that were causing us to be
stuck in our business. So when I was looking at
(17:19):
the patterns that we were in and I was comparing
those to all the other entrepreneurs that I'd worked with,
I started to see that there is almost always a
missing link or a blind spot in every single entrepreneur.
They literally cannot see what is stuck in their subconscious thought.
Because subconscious thought runs at about eleven million data points
a second, our conscious thought is only forty data points.
(17:41):
There's a lot missed in between. I actually just did
a session with the gentleman last week, and he has
been caught in his business making a set amount of
money for years and he can't he couldn't get over
that barrier of getting to the next level and I
sat down with him. I looked at the patterns between
his home life and his business life, and we were
able to identify that he wasn't stepping into more of
(18:02):
a masculine role in his home life, and he wasn't
stepping into the masculine role in his business. So once
we identified some ways to get him out of that
more i would say neutral or feminine role in his
home life or in his business, everything started to change.
He just texted me, is like, I've already put it
into place, the things you shared with me, and we
just grew this month by an extra ten k. So
(18:23):
it may not seem like a lot, but ten k
is a great change from one small change in your brain.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Wow, Now it's all about leadership. You know, we talk
about leadership a lot on this show. The word vision
areas used a lot in public and positive you know,
follow your passions and things like that. What are the
top three leadership gaps for both entrepreneurs.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
That's an awesome question. I've found from the past fifteen
years of working with companies probably ranging from about a
million to one point two billion, that the top three
leadership gaps are Number one, there's a delegation gap. Most
people are not very good at delegating. They're not good
at holding responsibility and passing it to other people, so
you have a lot of balls that are dropped unnecessarily
(19:06):
show in business. So delegation is the first one. The
second one is giving and receiving feedback. That is connecting,
because almost always when we're giving feedback, it's because quote
unquote we've done something wrong. Most of us get defensive,
we lose productivity because we start second guessing our skill set.
So we have to learn to give and receive feedback
in a way that's much more connecting to allow us
(19:28):
to keep our productivity very high. So the second one
is that feedback gap. And then the third one is
typically a planning gap. And most people think that they're
very good at planning, but what most companies and individuals
tend to do is they tend to plan for the
perfect plan. Not many people work on contingency planning, and
(19:49):
most people don't talk to their teams about how they
contingency plan, and so you end up everybody goes after
this perfect plan that everybody thinks is going to happen
and be great, but we haven't planned for all the
fires that are going to happen, all the issues that
are going to come up, we haven't planned how to
solve those before we launch a plan, you know, it's
really in that contingency planning, right.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Those are the three things, and I thank you for
sharing that with my audience. Fulfillment. That's something that drives
me and that drives a lot of entrepreneurs because you
because if your goal or in a person, then fulfillment
is the goal to complete that.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
But it's also a consistency.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
But it also creates trauma because if you don't see
yourself achieving that level of fulfillment, then it keeps not
only where drama comes in, but also trauma comes in there.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Can you discuss that with my audience?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yes. So one of the things that I realized from
working with all these entrepreneurs is that most of us
never really feel fulfilled and we don't feel a high
level of fulfillment because we're constantly going from one goal
or objective to the next, and when we get to
that goal or objective, we have a blip, like a
small moment of congratulating ourselves and then we're on to
(21:01):
the next thing. So with most of the entrepreneurs that
I worked with, we had to redefine how we look
at success because what most people don't know and understand
sometimes is that and it's not our fault, right, we're
conditioned to not know that success is a feeling. So
if success is a feeling, and we redefine it to be,
for example, a sustainable feeling that we can experience every
(21:24):
day that continues over time, then success becomes something that
we can feel much more often. If we tie it
to a goal or to an objective, then we're constantly
striving trying to get to that feeling of getting to
that objective instead of creating a life for ourselves where
we feel good every day because we've redefined what success
means to us. So I spend a lot of time
(21:44):
with entrepreneurs looking at, well, what is your ideal day
and how do we create that for you? And from
that ideal day and that feeling that you get from it,
how do we bring that into more of your business experience?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
And you know, I want to share something with my
audience as well as you, like I get up at
four thirty and sometimes I fell into a bad habit
of working before I got to work and so when
I got to work, I found myself just sitting in
my office going what do I do? Because I've already
completed so much work? And so now I've learned, okay,
(22:17):
we shall relaxed stretch, use that moment of getting up early.
You can do some work, but don't turn it into work.
And when you get to work, then it allows a
comfortable transition for you and your employees to be able
to relate because you can come sometimes start your job
too far ahead of your employees and so they're just
(22:39):
stand at you going, okay, what coffee did he drink?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
All right? Can he slow down for it? Can you
help me out?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
And so my last question is as we wrap up
this interview, is that how can as a leader, as
an entrepreneur, the relationship between your employees and you, how
can you make that better? And I may have shared
something on my end that I'm trying to do better.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
That means not come in the room so fired.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Up that you you fatigue got your staff or intimidate them.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
What are your suggestions?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
So I have a couple of suggestions. I think the
first thing is, well, the first one, honestly, is that
we've got to as entrepreneurs, we have to embody this
way of going about our lives where we actually feel
better and we show our team that we're not grinding
twenty four to seven. So one of the first things
(23:31):
I tell entrepreneurs is, if you want to connect more
deeply with your team, you have to show them that
you're taking time for yourself and making sure that you're
in the right mental space. So for me, when I
frontload my day, I don't get up at four thirty
in the morning because I'm going to do a lot
of extra work. I get up at four thirty in
the morning to make sure that I can do all
the things that matter to me, Like I make sure
I have an amazing breakfast, I get a great workout in,
(23:53):
I have some time with my Bible, I talk to
a couple of my amazing friends or partners in this
leadership work that I do. Make sure I have a
lot of connection early on in the morning because that
allows me to show up filled up before I ever
interact with my employees. I'm filled up, I'm calm, I'm connected,
and people feel that energy when you walk in the door,
and then they feel like wow, I want to be
(24:14):
like that. I want to have that same feeling and
then they start taking better care of themselves as well,
because again, if we want the whole team to win,
we all have to sort of take ourselves to that
next level of performance, which might not mean working really
early in the morning. It might be taking care of
ourselves and front loading our day with some wins that
when we walk into the office we've got the best
energy we can have to attract the most business and
(24:35):
to attract the highest level of performance from our team.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
As usually, You're amazing, Annie. Can you tell people in
my audience how we can reach out and you know,
contact you of course.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Well, you can find me on Instagram Northstar dot Annie,
or you could also always email me Annie A N
N I E at Northstar Leadership School dot com.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Thank you, my friend, and we will talk soon. Because
and I would tell you it's like free therapy for Rashine. Know,
it makes me a batter person, makes me a better person,
but also hopefully makes hopefully that I'm sure it makes
a lot of my audience members. And because again the
fact that men needs men need to start acknowledging not flaws,
just just energies that are not comfortable when you go
(25:21):
home and say I'm honey, I'm home, and know you're not.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
You just walk through the door. You should walk through.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
The door understanding that you need to calm down and
there's a person who's going to start talking to you,
and you should show appreciation that they care enough to
want to talk to you.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
That is very true. All I want to do is love.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Then I appreciate you and we talked to my friend.
Thank you for coming on Money Making Conversations Master Class.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Talk to This has been another edition of Money Making
Conversation Masterclass posted by me Rashaun McDonald. Thank you to
our guests on the show today and thank you. I'll
listening to the audience now. If you want to listen
to any episode I want to be a guest on
the show. Visit Moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle
is Moneymaking Conversation. Join us next week and remember to
(26:07):
always leave with your gifts.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Keep winning.