Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Dr. LaToya Gilmore.
A licensed professional counselor with 20+ years of experience.
- Topic: Her book Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries and her journey in mental health.
2. Dr. Gilmore’s Career Path
- Started in mass communication, switched to psychology after a friend's suggestion.
- First psychology class sparked her passion.
- Emphasizes the importance of curiosity and self-awareness in career transitions.
3. Mental Health and Career Change
- Discusses fear of change and how to overcome it.
- Encourages self-assessment and assertive communication.
- Talks about blocking external opinions to follow personal truth.
4. Mental Health in the Black Community
- Pandemic brought mental health to the forefront.
- Black professionals increasingly seeking therapy for trauma, stress, and work-life balance.
- Her practice is 95% African-American professionals.
5. HBCU Experience
- Attended Prairie View A&M and Texas Southern University.
- Highlights the affirming and empowering environment of HBCUs.
- Importance of representation and academic excellence.
6. Book Discussion: Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries
- Focuses on effective communication and healthy boundaries.
- Addresses rigid vs. absent boundaries and their impact on relationships and self-worth.
7. Therapy Practice Model
- Transitioned from in-person to fully virtual practice.
- Offers flexibility for clients and shares her own experience with therapy.
8. Entrepreneurship Lessons
- Graduate school didn’t teach business fundamentals.
- Learned about insurance, legal structure, and accounting on the fly.
- Advocates mentorship and using resources like ChatGPT (with caution).
9. Betting on Yourself
- Shares her transition from full-time professor to private practice.
- Advises strategic planning and exit strategies over impulsive quitting.
10. Parenting and Child Development
- Warns against premature diagnoses in children.
- Encourages education on developmental stages and adapting parenting strategies.
11. Future of Mental Health Education
- Advocates normalization of mental health as part of routine healthcare.
- Notes increased visibility in media, faith communities, and public discourse.
12. Boundaries in Social Settings
- Shares how she handles unsolicited therapy requests at social events.
- Emphasizes professional boundaries and offers referrals when needed.
13. Closing
- Website: www.lovesupportguidance.com
- Social media: Instagram @DrGilmoreShares
- Encouragement to lead with gifts and keep winning.
💡 Key Takeaways
- Self-awareness is the foundation for personal and professional growth.
- Mental health is health—it should be normalized and prioritized.
- Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships and self-care.
- Entrepreneurship requires preparation beyond passion—legal, financial, and structural knowledge is key.
- Representation matters—HBCUs provide affirming environments that expand possibilities.
- Parenting requires education, not assumptions—developmental quirks aren’t always disorders.
🗣️ Notable Quotes
“You have to allow your voice to be above the external voices and opinions.”
“The individuals around you are not mind readers.”
“The pandemic put us on the forefront of mental health… you had to sit at home with your own thoughts.”
“Everyone is not going to be my client, but I do have resources.”
“Mental wellness is just another leg of healthcare. That’s all it is.”
“Don’t quit because you’re mad. Have an exit strategy.”
“Boundaries can be rigid or absent—both can disrupt your life.”
#SHMS #STRAW #BEST
Steve Harvey Morning Show Online: http://www.steveharveyfm.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Rashan McDonald, our host this weekly Money Making
Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this show
provides off for everyone and that includes you, because it's
time to stop reading other people's success stories and start
living your own now. If you want to be a
guest on my show, money Making Conversation and master Class,
please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot com and click to
(00:22):
be a guest button. If you're a small business owner, entrepreneur,
motivational speaker, influencer, or nonprofit I want you on my show.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Let's get to show rule. My guest is a licensed
professional counselor with over twenty years of clinical experience within
the mental health sector. A culmination of this meaningful work
inspired her new release Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries. We're
going to talk about her and all of these things today.
(00:51):
Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor LaToya S.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Gilmour. How are you doing, doctor Gilmore?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
I'm doing well.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Thank you pretty good? And where are you based?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I am based in Houston, Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I've always you know, my degree is in mathematics and
I just start out in mathematics I started out in
civil engineering, and as went over to economics, and I
went over to chemical engineering, and because physics stopped me,
physics stopped me, wound up geting my degree in mathematics.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So why mental health?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Was this something early on in life that you chose
this path or in college you fell in love with it?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I would say the path shows me similar to you.
I did not start off as a psychology major in undergrad.
I started off as a mass communication, radio and television major.
And what stopped me were the series of speech classes
that I had to take and just the anks that
(01:53):
I would have given speech after speech, and there was
a lack of interest, There was a lack of curioiosity
in some aspects of my degree plan. And it was
recommended by one of my friends that you know what, Toya,
you're really good. You're really good at listening. You help
(02:13):
us with our problems. You know, you always have sound advice.
Have you ever thought about psychology?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Right?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
And it was the second semester of my sophomore year
that I registered for my first psychology class and the
rest is history.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
So what about psychology? That really? Cause?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You had no idea to go in that direction because
So many people get trapped in the paths I get
trapped into. Their parents told them to do this or this.
The expectation that people the life they should lead. Now
I talk about that a lot, and fear prevents them
from making that change. Here, you are sophomore in college.
Did you communicate with your parents? Was this a decision
you made on your own? How did you make that
(02:53):
decision to switch majors?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
It was definitely a decision that I made on my own.
I had the freedom to just for something new, and
so I added it as an elective and wanted to
give it a try. But that very first class, it
piqued my curiosity and it was like a light bulb
went off internally.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Now let's talk about that because I know somebody, Well,
she's just a sophomore in college. Now you've been doing
this for twenty years, doctor Gilmore. So let's take this
into real world people at a job or in a relationship.
We get to the relationship in a minute. At a job,
they're not happy, it might be paying good. Fear of change.
(03:34):
Can I get this money someplace else where? I go
someplace else and it's the same work environment, even though
I don't even like the work environment I'm working in now,
how do individuals, as male or female, get over that
hump and make that change?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It first with it first starts with paying attention to yourself,
you know, paying attention to why do I have these feelings?
How has it negatively impacted my life in What do
I want to do about it? Is it because I'm
not interested? Yes, the money is good, but am I
really passionate about something else? Is there another aspect of
(04:12):
my professional life that I would want to explore? But
I've been hesitant something that has been there within me
for a long time. And so it starts with that
curiosity and asking yourself the question of what do I
want to change and then making that first step forward.
It's really an honest conversation and a self assessment.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
But how do you block those people who question your change?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
There's going to be there's going to be people that inquire,
There's going to be people with opinions. Every single individual
has an opinion, but it is your life and so
they're not working the job that you're working, or they
may not be in the profession that you're in. It
might be a wonderful fit for them, but it is
not a great fit for you, and so you have
(04:54):
to allow your voice to be above the external voices
and opinions.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Okay, we're talking. Is that advice you'll give me?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
If that's not advice, what advice would you give to
somebody or to communicate their need for change in life,
whether that's in a relationship or how you're communicating with
your children, or you're a job. Will you feel you're
never going to get the raise that you want? What advice?
I know those are three separate areas. You can attack
each area or you can focus on one, but I
(05:25):
think they need to hear advice as well.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Okay, well just even beyond advice. You know, when thinking
about effective communication again, it starts with you taking a
survey of what it is that you actually want.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Okay, what do you need?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
What is missing? Once you're able to identify that, then
there's opportunities to assertively articulate what that is, whether that
is with a partner, whether that is with an employer,
you know, whether that is with with another family member.
To be able to identify, okay, these are the things
that I know that I need and ask for what
(06:01):
it is that you need? Because the individuals around you
are not people or mind readers rather, and so to
push beyond people pleasing and just doing what other people
want you to do, to get into a place of
I'm able to assert myself in a way where I
can actually go after the things that I desire.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That is the goal I was talking to Doctor LaToya,
asked Gilmore, based in Houston, Texas.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Correct, now my ask you this question.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Now, I've been doing this show since twenty seventeen, and
you're a licensed professional counselor, therapists, psychologists. It seems like
the last couple of years, you guys have just come
out of the woodworks. It's like y'all y'all been hiding
in some closet, couldn't tell nobody who y'all were. The
black community didn't care. Where did all you guys go?
(06:50):
And where were you hiding for twenty years? Doctor Gilmore,
talk to me.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I was not hiding. I've been black my entire life,
and I have been in this profession for over twenty years.
The conversation has been had about mental health within our community,
but the pandemic put us on the forefront mental health
(07:16):
as a profession as a whole. It put us on
the forefront because you no longer had your distractions of
going to your job. You really had to sit at
home with yourself, your own thoughts, your own partners, your
own children, and figure things out. And some of the
things that came out of that, whether it was the
overwhelming amount of grief and loss that we collectively experienced
(07:39):
and the trauma, the traumatizing experience of the global pandemic,
or it was you know what, I'm taking my anger
out on my kids, and I don't want to do that,
but I don't have the skills. I don't know another
way to talk to them because this is what I experience.
And so people were discovering, you know, I really don't
like this job, and this pandemic has given me an
(08:01):
opportunity to maybe explore some other options that I wouldn't
have considered before because I was so stuck in my routine.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But you have to admit, doctor Gilmore, Yes, sir, you
guys will not.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We couldn't find y'all. We couldn't find y'all. I know, lucky.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Were you looking?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, I wasn't looking. I wasn't what it is I
wasn't looking. I can find you It's like it's like
I'm in burking.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You're standing in line in front of me, behind me,
the left for me. But that has been the whole
plight about the black community, denial, denial, denial, denial, and.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Uh, you know, as you said earlier, you know you've
been black all your life. I've been black all my
life and longer than you.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And so with that being said, I've been undistressed because
of the color of my skin.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Because I walk. I would tell people I walk in
my room, you know I'm black.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Okay, Uh, you know, white people can walking Rome. I
don't know if they Jewish, I don't know if they
are Talian. I don't know if they're Spanish. I don't
know who they are until they decide to tell me
their nationality or their ethnic ethnic ethnicity. And so with
that being said, I've lived a life of stress my
whole time now because of that.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
In your world, how are.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
People coming to you and what are people coming to
you for?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Doctor Gilmore?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
People are coming to me for regular life stressors. They're
coming because of life transitions. They're coming because of microaggressions
that they experience at work in these toxic work environments
and They want to know how do I still thrive,
still try to maintain my mental wellness, you know, decrease stress,
(09:37):
decreased depression symptoms, and still maintain you know, a plan
of strategy on how to get out of these particular
environments that aren't well for me. And so people are
coming other Black professionals. My practice, I would say is
ninety five percent African American professionals, and they're coming to
(10:00):
create that work life harmony. They're coming to overcome some
historical traumas that they have experienced and they're able to
see how it does impact them in their present day reality.
They're coming to enhance their parenting skills. They're coming to
have a different aspect of healing that maybe some of
(10:21):
those family members that they grew up with, they didn't
see it modeled for them, and they want to be
able to model for the next generation.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Education play a tremendous role in your life.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Your double HBCU graduate.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I believe the schools of Preview and m Undergraduate and
Texas outn University Previews about forty five minutes outside of Houston, Texas.
She didn't go far, y'all, she didn't go far, Okay,
she didn't like across the state line, you know, she
just kind of like drove a real long bus ride
the Prayer View. But it's a great schools, the Baby Dome.
I'm very familiar with the Panthers down there and Texas University.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why HBCU, My friend.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Well, it actually was not a plan. A friend of
mine that I graduated high school with I attended her
graduation party my senior year of high school wore me down,
and by the time I walked across that stage, I
(11:22):
was like relieved, exhel, Oh great, I'm done with school.
I don't have to worry about this anymore. And doctor
LaToya S. Gilmore had no plans at that particular time
of going to anyone's college. And it wasn't until I
attended my friend's graduation party and I sat on her
mother's couch and I watched her open up gift after
(11:45):
gift after gift for her college dorm and all of
these different things that I sat there and I had
an epiphany. At that time, I was working at the
Mall at Sears, which is out of business present day, right,
I worked at the Mall at Sears and I sat
there and I had almost like an outer body experience,
(12:05):
like what's toy you? What are you going to do
for the rest of your life? Are you going to
work at the mall for the rest of your life?
And it was like, oh no, I got to go
back to school. And so like literally two weeks after that,
gathering my transcript from my high school, going back and
forth up and down to ninety making sure my application
was in all of those things. And I was accepted
(12:27):
into Prey of You about two weeks before the summer program.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So I lived on campus, of course, and friends for
life at Previated.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Then you went from there.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Your undergraduate degree was what at Priview Psychology?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay? Cool?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
And then you went to Texas Southern, which is based
in I always called third Ward Texas, which.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
No, actually my master's degree is from Fuller Theological Seminary
in Pasadena, California.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Okay, And so but you went to Texas Southern.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I did. That was my last degree.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And with that being said, the HBCU experience, I know,
I'm syndicated a twenty HBCUs nationwide, and I always like
people who have shared and we've had this experience of
being academically trained in the HBCU. Why is it important
to get that message out about the quality of education
and the experience of going to an HBCU.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
The quality of education is superb. There is nothing like
being in an environment where you belong, where you are affirmed,
that validated, You're pushed, your encouraged, your challenged, and so
many of the professors and staff they believed in us
(13:42):
as students. I have a countless amount of professors that
I still remember to this day that made such a
positive impact on me. And what it did was, you know,
in undergrad given the fact that I accidentally, if you will,
ended up in college, what it did was it affirmed
me in a way where I was able to externally
(14:05):
see these professors that looked like me, or looked like
my aunts, or looked like my uncles, that had master's
degrees and doctoral degrees. And so what it did was
it expanded my worldview. It expanded the possibilities that were
possible for me, and so it allowed me to think
beyond just that little small worldview that I had before.
(14:28):
And both of those experiences where I started, which was
at Prairie View, and where I ended, which was at TSU,
were like home right, and so not only is there
academic excellence, there's this great sense of belonging where I'm
able to just be and able to be challenged into
(14:49):
who I can be.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Stay with us more Money Making Conversation Masterclass coming up next.
Welcome b the Money Making Conversation Master Lass with me
Rashaun McDonald. Wow. With that being said, I'm speaking to
doctor LaToya As Gilmore. She's a licensed professional counselor with
(15:11):
over twenty years of clinical experience within the mental health
sector and which culminating a meaningful work inspired a new
release Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries. What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What does that mean? What it means is in order
to get anywhere, there's a couple of cornerstones that you
need as far as and to be successful, and that's
effective communication. And I would say healthy boundaries, right, boundaries
can be anything, but this book focuses on healthy boundaries.
(15:46):
Some people have very harsh, rigid boundaries which can disrupt
the quality of a relationship. Some individuals have no boundaries
at all, and they are that person that is constantly
denying and or sacrificing themselves and prioritizing other people's priorities
and values above them their own, and that impedes on
(16:10):
the quality of their lives as well. And so with
effective communication, it gives you the opportunity to again one
figure out what it is that you want and how
you desire to express that to someone else in a
way that can be respected in value.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
That's important. It's expressing.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
It is because a lot of people don't know how
to express, which could lead to internal allsols of stress, depression,
and those terms I've heard all my life, but now
they're being communicated through counselors and therapists like you that
are being made available to the general public because we're
(16:52):
looking for you. So if we're trying to find doctor Gilmore,
how do we find you?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
How do you find me? On my website is the
best way to find me, which is Love Support Guidance
dot Com. That's where information can be found on If
you want me to come and speak to your organization
or if you're interested in individual sessions, you can fill
out a contact farm and connect with me that way.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
You know, when I had the word love support, that
almost sounds old school, almost finds kind of hippy ish,
you know, but people need love and they know. I
know when my good friends who are male or I
say hey, I love you brother, I love you brother.
I have no problem expressing the word love the people
that I believe in, I care about and who've been
(17:39):
there for me. And I know that a lot of
people can't do that and uh or they feel offended
by or feel that they can't publicly show or express
the word love in your business name?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What does that mean? Doctor?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
It just means to care. It means to be able
to to allow yourself to be placed in someone else's
shoes and to be able to be compassionate to whatever
it is that they're.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Dealing with, whether it is work stress, family stress, personal issues,
but to be able to care enough to listen without
carrying whatever their load is, but just to care.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Now, are you an online counselor are you a couch
counselor do you have a place they can come and
just lay down and just you know that what you
see on TV. I'm just going to tell you I've
done online you know, counseling and therapy services, but I've
never been to that traditional point. How is your business
model set up? We're about to get into some money
making conversations.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Now, okay, all right, sounds good. Well, initially my model
was in person. So what you're describing is in person
counseling where I had a brick and mortar where you
were able to come and I had a couch or
some of the offices did have chairs. If you did
not want to sit on the couch, you didn't have
to in a chair, or if you wanted to lay down,
(19:02):
and I did have some clients that just wanted to
lay down because that was their time to release, and
that was one of the ways that they physically released.
Right now, where my practice is, it is one hundred
percent virtual right now. But personally, I am a therapist
that believes in therapy, and so I have my own therapists,
and I would say, in my lifetime my adulthood, this
(19:25):
is the third therapist that I've had, and this last
therapist it was imperative of what I was dealing with
at the time that I was able to come in
in person. I wanted to get out of my own
space and I wanted to get into her space and
be able to receive treatment that way. So it just
depends on what the person's preference is. Some individuals love
(19:47):
the flexibility of being able to take a break, maybe
go to their car during their lunch break and have
a session, or if they're traveling, they can still maintain
their appointments. It really just depends on what the preference
is that individual.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Cool.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Now, what have you learned as a business owner that
wasn't taught in graduate school?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Okay, in graduate school, they prepared me as well as
my classmates. You know, all of the theories, how to
master diagnosing the DSM, all of the clinical aspects, how
to be the best empathetic, culturally competent professional and therapist.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
That would be.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Or what they did four that tuplus two and four
and a half Sometimes that's what they did.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Provide that half that popped up on you. Correct.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Wait, I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
They said.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
We all know two plus two equals four, but sometimes
in the real world's two plus two can also equal
four and a half because that curve that can get
thrown your way.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
That's what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Now, this is the part that we're talking about, Yes, sir,
is the how to start a business kit? Yes, how
to know how to structure your business?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yes, what's a p l LC.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Versus an LCC and why it's making that distinction very important.
You know, those are some of the things you know,
your male practice insurance. All of those details were things
that I learned after I received where.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You think you learned after You know, I'm just being
honest with that statement, because I bid a lot of
business errors. You know, because everybody wants to go in business.
Everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, and they have books,
they have videos, they have sbas that you can go
to and they'll tell you. But somehow, in my little mind,
I just started a business and then I found out
about insurance. I found out the importance of an accountant.
(21:39):
I found out the importance of a lawyer. Listening to you,
doctor Gilmore, help my people to stay on the right path.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
You didn't get it in college. You learned just like
me on the run. I like to say, on the run, on.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
The fly, how could we have stopped ourselves and been
way ahead of the curve instead of behind the curve.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It really starts with conversations like this. So find someone
that you know that is a business owner and start
asking questions, taking notes. We live in an information society
where everything that you could ever imagine that you would
want to know about is accessible to you at your
fingertips on your phone. There's chat GBT now. So the
(22:24):
issues that I had when I started my practice, you know,
over a decade or so ago, I didn't have that
accessible information, that's not the issue in twenty twenty five.
And so it's just about doing your research and your homework.
You could even ask chet GBT, what are some of
the hurdles to starting a new business.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I can't do that.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I can't I can't talk to I can't talk to
the AI, and they start directing I'm gonna resist that.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm gonna resistant.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I gotta find a human I always tell people, don't
go to a mechanic if you're trying to be a doctor. Now, okay, now, okay,
now now because I hear people, because you know the
reason I say that I resisted a little bit, and
I know your therapist and I know your counselor highly
respect on your business. But we live in such a
world of isolation now, and because of online remote work,
(23:12):
you can date via an app and so now you
can just pick up your phone and you just ask
you a question and it will respond back. To you
and at our natural voice now, and that isolation, to
me can lead to damaging social relationships, damaging social skills,
and so that is truly an option to be able
(23:33):
to go there. But again, mentorship, physical, real, live mentorship
is the leading calls that I promote on this show.
But there are technical ways, Like she just said, AI
is out there. It is an asset. It's not going anywhere,
but try to balance it, don't you agree?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, I didn't lead with that. I said find someone
that you know that you can.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Basically, she's such a good listener. She just said, I
am not going to trap. Doctor gave Dog. We said,
we said, your website is how we could reach out
to you.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
You know you're on social media or any of those
I am.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I'm on Instagram. Doctor Gilmore shares if my handle on Instagram?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Now here's a question that I always bring up with
people you know, like and when I left IBM, I
was at IBM and I was gonna tell jokes for
a living. I thought I was gonna be the next
Ady Murphy. And I quit. I quit, and my friends
looked at me and go because they could understand you
gonna leave IBM to tell jokes and I couldn't actually
tell them how I was gonna make money. But I
(24:34):
was gonna bet on myself. I just knew this is
what I wanted to do. I had been at IBM
two and a half years undergraduate, two and a half
years professional. I went, this is not what I want
to do. Even though I knew I could be very,
very successful at IBM because I was just a natural leader.
I was a natural communicator.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
But I left.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I bet on Rashan McDonald and years later that decision
hardly anybody would question. But how does one make that decision,
doctor Gilmore, to bet on themselves?
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It starts with that inner awareness, right, similar to you,
I betted on myself as well. When I went into
private practice, or when I started my private practice. I
was a full time college professor.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Full time and I started regularly health insurance.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Everything consistency. I knew what to expect, everyone was covered,
everything was accounted for, and there were things that I
was not responsible for and didn't have to think about. Right,
And I started my private practice on a part time basis,
and I took a risk because I did not have
all of the information. But what I knew was that
(25:42):
this was something that I was passionate about. I wanted
to be able to reach out and help those individuals
that were calling that I was not able to connect
with because I was working my full time job, right,
and so I had to create the space to help
more people and so transition for me personally. It took
about two years in order to do that, and I
(26:04):
waited until there was enough interest and inquiries from potential
clients within my private practice that it could replace my
full time income. So there has to be a strategy, right.
I wouldn't recommend anyone just jumping out there.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Quit I'm mad quitting out.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
No, please don't do that. Please please don't just quit,
because you're gonna you're gonna regret it and then it's
going to create more issues than you have prior to.
So there needs to be an exit plan, and that's
one of the things, you know. I also do career
counseling with the with the individuals that I work with,
and we talk about exit strategies. No, we're not gonna
quit today. Yes you're frustrated, Yes you're stressed out. You'll
(26:45):
manage that stress and are.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Just you have to calm down, doctor ifill, Please calm down. Please,
I understand you're not having a good day. Let's keep
on it. We'll talk next week.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, absolutely, Please don't one out. Please don't get yourself fired.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yes, because that happens.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
You know, we let emotions get in front of the
right decision and that's not fair. But it's all about
mental health education, uh from you know, I've joked about
the fact that the black community has found you, and
I've said I'm looking for you now, doctor Gilmore. So
suddenly you on my show now four years ago, I
wasn't looking for doctor Gilmore.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Definitely proud to the pandemic. I wasn't looking for you.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
But it's a need now and I'm so happy that
the black community is actually not ignoring but accepting stress,
accepting depression, accepting bipolar qualities that we may be living
in and don't understand and our child may be dealing.
I think we should even talk about that, even more
so from a parent parenting perspective, looking at our children
(27:52):
differently as well.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, So when it comes to kids, they're still developing.
Our brains as people do, not fully develop until we're
in our mid twenties, and so when you're talking about kids,
you really have to be careful about trying to diagnose
them without the license church. So because some things are
just developmental. You're going to have a kid that has
(28:18):
an increased amount of activity and those types of things,
but that is developmentally appropriate. Everything doesn't require a label.
Some of it is just regular human development. And so
I think it can begin with education, you know, reading
those books about the different stages of development. What's normal,
(28:38):
what's abnormal, what's just maybe just a little quirk that
your child has. That does not mean that they necessarily
need to be diagnosed with anything or placed on medication.
It could just mean that maybe some parenting strategies can change,
or maybe you can say, Okay, you know what, developmentally,
this is just a phase that they're going through, and
I know when they hit x amount of age, we're
(28:58):
going to be transitioning into another phase. So this phase
will end and then another phase we'll begin with puberty.
And so to be mindful of that and that education
piece is very important.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Now in our conversation, you talk about storefront, you talk
about online.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
What is the future of mental health education?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
My hope of the future of mental health education is
that the conversation is normalized, that people see it as
a normal form of health care. Just like you go
get your check ups, you go get your eyes checked,
you go to the dentist on a regular basis. Your
mental wellness is also a part of that. It's just
another leg of health care, that's all it is. And
(29:39):
so to be able to normalize that conversation. And I'm
seeing the work, I'm seeing the progression. I'm hearing it
within the community, within the faith community. People are speaking
on it from the pool pit, it's on radio shows,
it's included in series, television series. The topic is being
you know, talked about, what more than it has been,
(30:01):
you know, within the last ten, fifteen, twenty years. And
that's great. And so again, the normalization of the topic altogether,
just seeing it as another form of health care, because that's.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
All it is. I smile, But I also know because
it is becoming normalized and conversational, I'm pretty sure a
lot of people try to get free advice from you.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Correct, that's what you do.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
They try to they try to slide over there, get
a little extra And how do you handle that, doctor.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, well, you give me a card, or you give
me a website.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
How do you how do you get you know, you
could be a dinner, you could be at a party,
could be a night out, and they find out your
doctor Gilmore, and what do you do?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
How do you handle that? Doctor Gilby?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah, it's interesting that on the other side of that question,
which is my response now, try to make it general,
I say health care sometimes, but then you know, they
inquire some more lying and they want to know, Oh
what what part? Oh I'm a therapist, Oh what kind
of therapists? A physical therapists? In them? When I say
mental health, they disclose personal information that I did not
(31:09):
ask you for. And so that's where boundaries come in
for me. Right, I'm at the dinner just like you.
I want to enjoy, not my client. You're not paying me,
and so I may listen for a little while, but
I will exit the conversation and I will change the
subjects and I will engage in another way because I'm
there to enjoy myself just like you are. I'm here
(31:32):
to celebrate this person, just like you are, and so
I have to protect that even when other people don't.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I had to get that out because I know as
things become normalized and people as you know, it's like
when I was being a when I was pursuing a
career as a standing comedian, people always tell me, Joe,
of course, I'll look at it like they really then
you to stop. But as you go through life and
it becomes normal, then people not saying it trying to
(32:00):
bite off your career, but they suddenly in a position
to communicate with somebody that they actually need help. Instead
of trying to get help in between desserts, they need
to be saying go on your website, schedule an appointment,
and try to find out how they can resolve the issue.
There's not going to be resolved in a thirty minute
(32:21):
conversation or a week long session.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
It's not right, right, isn't It isn't. And that's why
I also offer a part of that boundary is offering
referral sources, like I don't mind referring you to my colleague,
because if it is a dinner, for example, where there's
a person that is there that we're celebrating, that's a
personal contact that I have, And so I have boundaries
(32:46):
I don't necessarily want to see on a one on
one basis, you know someone that is a friend of
someone that I'm related to, so I'll have a referral
source free. I may not can work with you. And
that's something and that I learned early on in business
is that everyone is not going to be my client.
But I do have these resources that are available that
(33:08):
I can give you their contact information, I can refer
you to their private practice.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Like I am.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
You know, I'm a wealth of information when it comes
to that, so I can definitely assist. It may not
just be with you being my client.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Well, as we close out the show, let's let everybody
know communication skills for healthy boundaries.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
That's your new release. How can they get it?
Speaker 3 (33:29):
They can get it by going to my website.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
There's always their website.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Their website again, their website given their website addressed my friend.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
The website is www dot love support guidance dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Thank you, Doctor Gilmore for coming on Money Making Conversation Masterclass.
It's been a path of Like I said, it's first
of all, your sincerity, your personality that always plays a
major role in Houston Born and Prayer View, Texas Southern
HBCU two timer, and again thank you for coming on
(34:02):
Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass with me Rashaun McDonald.
Thanks to our guests and our audience. Visit Moneymakingconversations dot
com to listen or register it to be a guest
on my show.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Keep leading with your gifts, keep winning
Hi, I'm Rashan McDonald, our host this weekly Money Making
Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this show
provides off for everyone and that includes you, because it's
time to stop reading other people's success stories and start
living your own now. If you want to be a
guest on my show, money Making Conversation and master Class,
please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot com and click to
(00:22):
be a guest button. If you're a small business owner, entrepreneur,
motivational speaker, influencer, or nonprofit I want you on my show.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Let's get to show rule. My guest is a licensed
professional counselor with over twenty years of clinical experience within
the mental health sector. A culmination of this meaningful work
inspired her new release Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries. We're
going to talk about her and all of these things today.
(00:51):
Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor LaToya S.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Gilmour. How are you doing, doctor Gilmore?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
I'm doing well.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Thank you pretty good? And where are you based?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I am based in Houston, Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I've always you know, my degree is in mathematics and
I just start out in mathematics I started out in
civil engineering, and as went over to economics, and I
went over to chemical engineering, and because physics stopped me,
physics stopped me, wound up geting my degree in mathematics.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So why mental health?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Was this something early on in life that you chose
this path or in college you fell in love with it?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I would say the path shows me similar to you.
I did not start off as a psychology major in undergrad.
I started off as a mass communication, radio and television major.
And what stopped me were the series of speech classes
that I had to take and just the anks that
(01:53):
I would have given speech after speech, and there was
a lack of interest, There was a lack of curioiosity
in some aspects of my degree plan. And it was
recommended by one of my friends that you know what, Toya,
you're really good. You're really good at listening. You help
(02:13):
us with our problems. You know, you always have sound advice.
Have you ever thought about psychology?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Right?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
And it was the second semester of my sophomore year
that I registered for my first psychology class and the
rest is history.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
So what about psychology? That really? Cause?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You had no idea to go in that direction because
So many people get trapped in the paths I get
trapped into. Their parents told them to do this or this.
The expectation that people the life they should lead. Now
I talk about that a lot, and fear prevents them
from making that change. Here, you are sophomore in college.
Did you communicate with your parents? Was this a decision
you made on your own? How did you make that
(02:53):
decision to switch majors?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
It was definitely a decision that I made on my own.
I had the freedom to just for something new, and
so I added it as an elective and wanted to
give it a try. But that very first class, it
piqued my curiosity and it was like a light bulb
went off internally.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Now let's talk about that because I know somebody, Well,
she's just a sophomore in college. Now you've been doing
this for twenty years, doctor Gilmore. So let's take this
into real world people at a job or in a relationship.
We get to the relationship in a minute. At a job,
they're not happy, it might be paying good. Fear of change.
(03:34):
Can I get this money someplace else where? I go
someplace else and it's the same work environment, even though
I don't even like the work environment I'm working in now,
how do individuals, as male or female, get over that
hump and make that change?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It first with it first starts with paying attention to yourself,
you know, paying attention to why do I have these feelings?
How has it negatively impacted my life in What do
I want to do about it? Is it because I'm
not interested? Yes, the money is good, but am I
really passionate about something else? Is there another aspect of
(04:12):
my professional life that I would want to explore? But
I've been hesitant something that has been there within me
for a long time. And so it starts with that
curiosity and asking yourself the question of what do I
want to change and then making that first step forward.
It's really an honest conversation and a self assessment.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
But how do you block those people who question your change?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
There's going to be there's going to be people that inquire,
There's going to be people with opinions. Every single individual
has an opinion, but it is your life and so
they're not working the job that you're working, or they
may not be in the profession that you're in. It
might be a wonderful fit for them, but it is
not a great fit for you, and so you have
(04:54):
to allow your voice to be above the external voices
and opinions.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Okay, we're talking. Is that advice you'll give me?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
If that's not advice, what advice would you give to
somebody or to communicate their need for change in life,
whether that's in a relationship or how you're communicating with
your children, or you're a job. Will you feel you're
never going to get the raise that you want? What advice?
I know those are three separate areas. You can attack
each area or you can focus on one, but I
(05:25):
think they need to hear advice as well.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Okay, well just even beyond advice. You know, when thinking
about effective communication again, it starts with you taking a
survey of what it is that you actually want.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Okay, what do you need?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
What is missing? Once you're able to identify that, then
there's opportunities to assertively articulate what that is, whether that
is with a partner, whether that is with an employer,
you know, whether that is with with another family member.
To be able to identify, okay, these are the things
that I know that I need and ask for what
(06:01):
it is that you need? Because the individuals around you
are not people or mind readers rather, and so to
push beyond people pleasing and just doing what other people
want you to do, to get into a place of
I'm able to assert myself in a way where I
can actually go after the things that I desire.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That is the goal I was talking to Doctor LaToya,
asked Gilmore, based in Houston, Texas.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Correct, now my ask you this question.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Now, I've been doing this show since twenty seventeen, and
you're a licensed professional counselor, therapists, psychologists. It seems like
the last couple of years, you guys have just come
out of the woodworks. It's like y'all y'all been hiding
in some closet, couldn't tell nobody who y'all were. The
black community didn't care. Where did all you guys go?
(06:50):
And where were you hiding for twenty years? Doctor Gilmore,
talk to me.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I was not hiding. I've been black my entire life,
and I have been in this profession for over twenty years.
The conversation has been had about mental health within our community,
but the pandemic put us on the forefront mental health
(07:16):
as a profession as a whole. It put us on
the forefront because you no longer had your distractions of
going to your job. You really had to sit at
home with yourself, your own thoughts, your own partners, your
own children, and figure things out. And some of the
things that came out of that, whether it was the
overwhelming amount of grief and loss that we collectively experienced
(07:39):
and the trauma, the traumatizing experience of the global pandemic,
or it was you know what, I'm taking my anger
out on my kids, and I don't want to do that,
but I don't have the skills. I don't know another
way to talk to them because this is what I experience.
And so people were discovering, you know, I really don't
like this job, and this pandemic has given me an
(08:01):
opportunity to maybe explore some other options that I wouldn't
have considered before because I was so stuck in my routine.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But you have to admit, doctor Gilmore, Yes, sir, you
guys will not.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We couldn't find y'all. We couldn't find y'all. I know, lucky.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Were you looking?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, I wasn't looking. I wasn't what it is I
wasn't looking. I can find you It's like it's like
I'm in burking.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You're standing in line in front of me, behind me,
the left for me. But that has been the whole
plight about the black community, denial, denial, denial, denial, and.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Uh, you know, as you said earlier, you know you've
been black all your life. I've been black all my
life and longer than you.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And so with that being said, I've been undistressed because
of the color of my skin.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Because I walk. I would tell people I walk in
my room, you know I'm black.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Okay, Uh, you know, white people can walking Rome. I
don't know if they Jewish, I don't know if they
are Talian. I don't know if they're Spanish. I don't
know who they are until they decide to tell me
their nationality or their ethnic ethnic ethnicity. And so with
that being said, I've lived a life of stress my
whole time now because of that.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
In your world, how are.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
People coming to you and what are people coming to
you for?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Doctor Gilmore?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
People are coming to me for regular life stressors. They're
coming because of life transitions. They're coming because of microaggressions
that they experience at work in these toxic work environments
and They want to know how do I still thrive,
still try to maintain my mental wellness, you know, decrease stress,
(09:37):
decreased depression symptoms, and still maintain you know, a plan
of strategy on how to get out of these particular
environments that aren't well for me. And so people are
coming other Black professionals. My practice, I would say is
ninety five percent African American professionals, and they're coming to
(10:00):
create that work life harmony. They're coming to overcome some
historical traumas that they have experienced and they're able to
see how it does impact them in their present day reality.
They're coming to enhance their parenting skills. They're coming to
have a different aspect of healing that maybe some of
(10:21):
those family members that they grew up with, they didn't
see it modeled for them, and they want to be
able to model for the next generation.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Education play a tremendous role in your life.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Your double HBCU graduate.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I believe the schools of Preview and m Undergraduate and
Texas outn University Previews about forty five minutes outside of Houston, Texas.
She didn't go far, y'all, she didn't go far, Okay,
she didn't like across the state line, you know, she
just kind of like drove a real long bus ride
the Prayer View. But it's a great schools, the Baby Dome.
I'm very familiar with the Panthers down there and Texas University.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why HBCU, My friend.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Well, it actually was not a plan. A friend of
mine that I graduated high school with I attended her
graduation party my senior year of high school wore me down,
and by the time I walked across that stage, I
(11:22):
was like relieved, exhel, Oh great, I'm done with school.
I don't have to worry about this anymore. And doctor
LaToya S. Gilmore had no plans at that particular time
of going to anyone's college. And it wasn't until I
attended my friend's graduation party and I sat on her
mother's couch and I watched her open up gift after
(11:45):
gift after gift for her college dorm and all of
these different things that I sat there and I had
an epiphany. At that time, I was working at the
Mall at Sears, which is out of business present day, right,
I worked at the Mall at Sears and I sat
there and I had almost like an outer body experience,
(12:05):
like what's toy you? What are you going to do
for the rest of your life? Are you going to
work at the mall for the rest of your life?
And it was like, oh no, I got to go
back to school. And so like literally two weeks after that,
gathering my transcript from my high school, going back and
forth up and down to ninety making sure my application
was in all of those things. And I was accepted
(12:27):
into Prey of You about two weeks before the summer program.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So I lived on campus, of course, and friends for
life at Previated.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Then you went from there.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Your undergraduate degree was what at Priview Psychology?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay? Cool?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
And then you went to Texas Southern, which is based
in I always called third Ward Texas, which.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
No, actually my master's degree is from Fuller Theological Seminary
in Pasadena, California.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Okay, And so but you went to Texas Southern.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I did. That was my last degree.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And with that being said, the HBCU experience, I know,
I'm syndicated a twenty HBCUs nationwide, and I always like
people who have shared and we've had this experience of
being academically trained in the HBCU. Why is it important
to get that message out about the quality of education
and the experience of going to an HBCU.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
The quality of education is superb. There is nothing like
being in an environment where you belong, where you are affirmed,
that validated, You're pushed, your encouraged, your challenged, and so
many of the professors and staff they believed in us
(13:42):
as students. I have a countless amount of professors that
I still remember to this day that made such a
positive impact on me. And what it did was, you know,
in undergrad given the fact that I accidentally, if you will,
ended up in college, what it did was it affirmed
me in a way where I was able to externally
(14:05):
see these professors that looked like me, or looked like
my aunts, or looked like my uncles, that had master's
degrees and doctoral degrees. And so what it did was
it expanded my worldview. It expanded the possibilities that were
possible for me, and so it allowed me to think
beyond just that little small worldview that I had before.
(14:28):
And both of those experiences where I started, which was
at Prairie View, and where I ended, which was at TSU,
were like home right, and so not only is there
academic excellence, there's this great sense of belonging where I'm
able to just be and able to be challenged into
(14:49):
who I can be.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Stay with us more Money Making Conversation Masterclass coming up next.
Welcome b the Money Making Conversation Master Lass with me
Rashaun McDonald. Wow. With that being said, I'm speaking to
doctor LaToya As Gilmore. She's a licensed professional counselor with
(15:11):
over twenty years of clinical experience within the mental health
sector and which culminating a meaningful work inspired a new
release Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries. What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What does that mean? What it means is in order
to get anywhere, there's a couple of cornerstones that you
need as far as and to be successful, and that's
effective communication. And I would say healthy boundaries, right, boundaries
can be anything, but this book focuses on healthy boundaries.
(15:46):
Some people have very harsh, rigid boundaries which can disrupt
the quality of a relationship. Some individuals have no boundaries
at all, and they are that person that is constantly
denying and or sacrificing themselves and prioritizing other people's priorities
and values above them their own, and that impedes on
(16:10):
the quality of their lives as well. And so with
effective communication, it gives you the opportunity to again one
figure out what it is that you want and how
you desire to express that to someone else in a
way that can be respected in value.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
That's important. It's expressing.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
It is because a lot of people don't know how
to express, which could lead to internal allsols of stress, depression,
and those terms I've heard all my life, but now
they're being communicated through counselors and therapists like you that
are being made available to the general public because we're
(16:52):
looking for you. So if we're trying to find doctor Gilmore,
how do we find you?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
How do you find me? On my website is the
best way to find me, which is Love Support Guidance
dot Com. That's where information can be found on If
you want me to come and speak to your organization
or if you're interested in individual sessions, you can fill
out a contact farm and connect with me that way.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
You know, when I had the word love support, that
almost sounds old school, almost finds kind of hippy ish,
you know, but people need love and they know. I
know when my good friends who are male or I
say hey, I love you brother, I love you brother.
I have no problem expressing the word love the people
that I believe in, I care about and who've been
(17:39):
there for me. And I know that a lot of
people can't do that and uh or they feel offended
by or feel that they can't publicly show or express
the word love in your business name?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What does that mean? Doctor?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
It just means to care. It means to be able
to to allow yourself to be placed in someone else's
shoes and to be able to be compassionate to whatever
it is that they're.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Dealing with, whether it is work stress, family stress, personal issues,
but to be able to care enough to listen without
carrying whatever their load is, but just to care.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Now, are you an online counselor are you a couch
counselor do you have a place they can come and
just lay down and just you know that what you
see on TV. I'm just going to tell you I've
done online you know, counseling and therapy services, but I've
never been to that traditional point. How is your business
model set up? We're about to get into some money
making conversations.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Now, okay, all right, sounds good. Well, initially my model
was in person. So what you're describing is in person
counseling where I had a brick and mortar where you
were able to come and I had a couch or
some of the offices did have chairs. If you did
not want to sit on the couch, you didn't have
to in a chair, or if you wanted to lay down,
(19:02):
and I did have some clients that just wanted to
lay down because that was their time to release, and
that was one of the ways that they physically released.
Right now, where my practice is, it is one hundred
percent virtual right now. But personally, I am a therapist
that believes in therapy, and so I have my own therapists,
and I would say, in my lifetime my adulthood, this
(19:25):
is the third therapist that I've had, and this last
therapist it was imperative of what I was dealing with
at the time that I was able to come in
in person. I wanted to get out of my own
space and I wanted to get into her space and
be able to receive treatment that way. So it just
depends on what the person's preference is. Some individuals love
(19:47):
the flexibility of being able to take a break, maybe
go to their car during their lunch break and have
a session, or if they're traveling, they can still maintain
their appointments. It really just depends on what the preference
is that individual.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Cool.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Now, what have you learned as a business owner that
wasn't taught in graduate school?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Okay, in graduate school, they prepared me as well as
my classmates. You know, all of the theories, how to
master diagnosing the DSM, all of the clinical aspects, how
to be the best empathetic, culturally competent professional and therapist.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
That would be.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Or what they did four that tuplus two and four
and a half Sometimes that's what they did.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Provide that half that popped up on you. Correct.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Wait, I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
They said.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
We all know two plus two equals four, but sometimes
in the real world's two plus two can also equal
four and a half because that curve that can get
thrown your way.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
That's what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Now, this is the part that we're talking about, Yes, sir,
is the how to start a business kit? Yes, how
to know how to structure your business?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yes, what's a p l LC.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Versus an LCC and why it's making that distinction very important.
You know, those are some of the things you know,
your male practice insurance. All of those details were things
that I learned after I received where.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You think you learned after You know, I'm just being
honest with that statement, because I bid a lot of
business errors. You know, because everybody wants to go in business.
Everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, and they have books,
they have videos, they have sbas that you can go
to and they'll tell you. But somehow, in my little mind,
I just started a business and then I found out
about insurance. I found out the importance of an accountant.
(21:39):
I found out the importance of a lawyer. Listening to you,
doctor Gilmore, help my people to stay on the right path.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
You didn't get it in college. You learned just like
me on the run. I like to say, on the run, on.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
The fly, how could we have stopped ourselves and been
way ahead of the curve instead of behind the curve.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It really starts with conversations like this. So find someone
that you know that is a business owner and start
asking questions, taking notes. We live in an information society
where everything that you could ever imagine that you would
want to know about is accessible to you at your
fingertips on your phone. There's chat GBT now. So the
(22:24):
issues that I had when I started my practice, you know,
over a decade or so ago, I didn't have that
accessible information, that's not the issue in twenty twenty five.
And so it's just about doing your research and your homework.
You could even ask chet GBT, what are some of
the hurdles to starting a new business.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I can't do that.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I can't I can't talk to I can't talk to
the AI, and they start directing I'm gonna resist that.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm gonna resistant.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I gotta find a human I always tell people, don't
go to a mechanic if you're trying to be a doctor. Now, okay, now, okay,
now now because I hear people, because you know the
reason I say that I resisted a little bit, and
I know your therapist and I know your counselor highly
respect on your business. But we live in such a
world of isolation now, and because of online remote work,
(23:12):
you can date via an app and so now you
can just pick up your phone and you just ask
you a question and it will respond back. To you
and at our natural voice now, and that isolation, to
me can lead to damaging social relationships, damaging social skills,
and so that is truly an option to be able
(23:33):
to go there. But again, mentorship, physical, real, live mentorship
is the leading calls that I promote on this show.
But there are technical ways, Like she just said, AI
is out there. It is an asset. It's not going anywhere,
but try to balance it, don't you agree?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, I didn't lead with that. I said find someone
that you know that you can.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Basically, she's such a good listener. She just said, I
am not going to trap. Doctor gave Dog. We said,
we said, your website is how we could reach out
to you.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
You know you're on social media or any of those
I am.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I'm on Instagram. Doctor Gilmore shares if my handle on Instagram?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Now here's a question that I always bring up with
people you know, like and when I left IBM, I
was at IBM and I was gonna tell jokes for
a living. I thought I was gonna be the next
Ady Murphy. And I quit. I quit, and my friends
looked at me and go because they could understand you
gonna leave IBM to tell jokes and I couldn't actually
tell them how I was gonna make money. But I
(24:34):
was gonna bet on myself. I just knew this is
what I wanted to do. I had been at IBM
two and a half years undergraduate, two and a half
years professional. I went, this is not what I want
to do. Even though I knew I could be very,
very successful at IBM because I was just a natural leader.
I was a natural communicator.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
But I left.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I bet on Rashan McDonald and years later that decision
hardly anybody would question. But how does one make that decision,
doctor Gilmore, to bet on themselves?
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It starts with that inner awareness, right, similar to you,
I betted on myself as well. When I went into
private practice, or when I started my private practice. I
was a full time college professor.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Full time and I started regularly health insurance.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Everything consistency. I knew what to expect, everyone was covered,
everything was accounted for, and there were things that I
was not responsible for and didn't have to think about. Right,
And I started my private practice on a part time basis,
and I took a risk because I did not have
all of the information. But what I knew was that
(25:42):
this was something that I was passionate about. I wanted
to be able to reach out and help those individuals
that were calling that I was not able to connect
with because I was working my full time job, right,
and so I had to create the space to help
more people and so transition for me personally. It took
about two years in order to do that, and I
(26:04):
waited until there was enough interest and inquiries from potential
clients within my private practice that it could replace my
full time income. So there has to be a strategy, right.
I wouldn't recommend anyone just jumping out there.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Quit I'm mad quitting out.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
No, please don't do that. Please please don't just quit,
because you're gonna you're gonna regret it and then it's
going to create more issues than you have prior to.
So there needs to be an exit plan, and that's
one of the things, you know. I also do career
counseling with the with the individuals that I work with,
and we talk about exit strategies. No, we're not gonna
quit today. Yes you're frustrated, Yes you're stressed out. You'll
(26:45):
manage that stress and are.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Just you have to calm down, doctor ifill, Please calm down. Please,
I understand you're not having a good day. Let's keep
on it. We'll talk next week.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, absolutely, Please don't one out. Please don't get yourself fired.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yes, because that happens.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
You know, we let emotions get in front of the
right decision and that's not fair. But it's all about
mental health education, uh from you know, I've joked about
the fact that the black community has found you, and
I've said I'm looking for you now, doctor Gilmore. So
suddenly you on my show now four years ago, I
wasn't looking for doctor Gilmore.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Definitely proud to the pandemic. I wasn't looking for you.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
But it's a need now and I'm so happy that
the black community is actually not ignoring but accepting stress,
accepting depression, accepting bipolar qualities that we may be living
in and don't understand and our child may be dealing.
I think we should even talk about that, even more
so from a parent parenting perspective, looking at our children
(27:52):
differently as well.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, So when it comes to kids, they're still developing.
Our brains as people do, not fully develop until we're
in our mid twenties, and so when you're talking about kids,
you really have to be careful about trying to diagnose
them without the license church. So because some things are
just developmental. You're going to have a kid that has
(28:18):
an increased amount of activity and those types of things,
but that is developmentally appropriate. Everything doesn't require a label.
Some of it is just regular human development. And so
I think it can begin with education, you know, reading
those books about the different stages of development. What's normal,
(28:38):
what's abnormal, what's just maybe just a little quirk that
your child has. That does not mean that they necessarily
need to be diagnosed with anything or placed on medication.
It could just mean that maybe some parenting strategies can change,
or maybe you can say, Okay, you know what, developmentally,
this is just a phase that they're going through, and
I know when they hit x amount of age, we're
(28:58):
going to be transitioning into another phase. So this phase
will end and then another phase we'll begin with puberty.
And so to be mindful of that and that education
piece is very important.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Now in our conversation, you talk about storefront, you talk
about online.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
What is the future of mental health education?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
My hope of the future of mental health education is
that the conversation is normalized, that people see it as
a normal form of health care. Just like you go
get your check ups, you go get your eyes checked,
you go to the dentist on a regular basis. Your
mental wellness is also a part of that. It's just
another leg of health care, that's all it is. And
(29:39):
so to be able to normalize that conversation. And I'm
seeing the work, I'm seeing the progression. I'm hearing it
within the community, within the faith community. People are speaking
on it from the pool pit, it's on radio shows,
it's included in series, television series. The topic is being
you know, talked about, what more than it has been,
(30:01):
you know, within the last ten, fifteen, twenty years. And
that's great. And so again, the normalization of the topic altogether,
just seeing it as another form of health care, because that's.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
All it is. I smile, But I also know because
it is becoming normalized and conversational, I'm pretty sure a
lot of people try to get free advice from you.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Correct, that's what you do.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
They try to they try to slide over there, get
a little extra And how do you handle that, doctor.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, well, you give me a card, or you give
me a website.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
How do you how do you get you know, you
could be a dinner, you could be at a party,
could be a night out, and they find out your
doctor Gilmore, and what do you do?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
How do you handle that? Doctor Gilby?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah, it's interesting that on the other side of that question,
which is my response now, try to make it general,
I say health care sometimes, but then you know, they
inquire some more lying and they want to know, Oh
what what part? Oh I'm a therapist, Oh what kind
of therapists? A physical therapists? In them? When I say
mental health, they disclose personal information that I did not
(31:09):
ask you for. And so that's where boundaries come in
for me. Right, I'm at the dinner just like you.
I want to enjoy, not my client. You're not paying me,
and so I may listen for a little while, but
I will exit the conversation and I will change the
subjects and I will engage in another way because I'm
there to enjoy myself just like you are. I'm here
(31:32):
to celebrate this person, just like you are, and so
I have to protect that even when other people don't.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I had to get that out because I know as
things become normalized and people as you know, it's like
when I was being a when I was pursuing a
career as a standing comedian, people always tell me, Joe,
of course, I'll look at it like they really then
you to stop. But as you go through life and
it becomes normal, then people not saying it trying to
(32:00):
bite off your career, but they suddenly in a position
to communicate with somebody that they actually need help. Instead
of trying to get help in between desserts, they need
to be saying go on your website, schedule an appointment,
and try to find out how they can resolve the issue.
There's not going to be resolved in a thirty minute
(32:21):
conversation or a week long session.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
It's not right, right, isn't It isn't. And that's why
I also offer a part of that boundary is offering
referral sources, like I don't mind referring you to my colleague,
because if it is a dinner, for example, where there's
a person that is there that we're celebrating, that's a
personal contact that I have, And so I have boundaries
(32:46):
I don't necessarily want to see on a one on
one basis, you know someone that is a friend of
someone that I'm related to, so I'll have a referral
source free. I may not can work with you. And
that's something and that I learned early on in business
is that everyone is not going to be my client.
But I do have these resources that are available that
(33:08):
I can give you their contact information, I can refer
you to their private practice.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Like I am.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
You know, I'm a wealth of information when it comes
to that, so I can definitely assist. It may not
just be with you being my client.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Well, as we close out the show, let's let everybody
know communication skills for healthy boundaries.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
That's your new release. How can they get it?
Speaker 3 (33:29):
They can get it by going to my website.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
There's always their website.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Their website again, their website given their website addressed my friend.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
The website is www dot love support guidance dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Thank you, Doctor Gilmore for coming on Money Making Conversation Masterclass.
It's been a path of Like I said, it's first
of all, your sincerity, your personality that always plays a
major role in Houston Born and Prayer View, Texas Southern
HBCU two timer, and again thank you for coming on
(34:02):
Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass with me Rashaun McDonald.
Thanks to our guests and our audience. Visit Moneymakingconversations dot
com to listen or register it to be a guest
on my show.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Keep leading with your gifts, keep winning
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