July 29, 2025 • 14 mins
Steve Harvey Morning Show Online: http://www.steveharveyfm.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, we're gonna go around the room with you
three guys. Okay, what's the biggest light you ever told?
Tommy started off my son, my oldest son.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
When he was younger, he wanted to go to PG
thirteen movies.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I always knew it was gonna be something that he
didn't need to see.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
He didn't know, but I would tell him, Hey, do
you know what PG thirteen means?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
He's like no.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I say that means only thirteen people can go in
the movie. So when we would get there, I say
it's already twelve people in there. We can't go in there.
It's too late. And he would be like, wow, we
don't never get here in time enough to see any
PG thirteen. We're gonna have to go see a G movie.
(00:43):
We're gonna go see a GM. We'd be all up
in line, king we not going and see PG.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Your mama ain't gonna be mad at man? PG thirteen?
What is all right?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Come on you?
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, what's the biggest lie you ever?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I need to make sure that my mama ain't listening?
Oh man.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I was at foot about sixteen years old, and my
mama let me take her truck to practice and you know.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
After practice, my boy get in the truck. We dropped back.
I took my mama brand new blazer, uh huh and backed.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
It and got it stuck on the side and then
it the whole left side on the school bus.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
My boy said, man, I can't let you go back
home with the truth. Uh huh. You got to say
that bus back then in the youth.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Okay, boy, he said, you can't walk in Mama bread
he got this tag still on it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It ain't no license plate. Man, I walked in the
Mama said what happened to that truck? And my boy
just went and talking.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
We was just butting up our seat best and they
can know a school bus hit us.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Boy.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
My mama bought that for about two months. About two
months she said why, she said, why you ain't getting
no case? Uh huh, right, I got well, I had
receive that sixty. I was fast after that fast, all right, Steve,
you you started telling us about this woman.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
I met this girl and in college, Lord, she was
fine creole girl. My brother told me how to get him,
and he gave me some money to take out. So
I told her to pick a restaurant. She picked the
creole restaurant. Now I'm seventeen, I ain't had no creole food,
so I'm in.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I go in there.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
She done ordered all this spicy stuff. If you feel
all this but spicy though, yeah, yeah, I'm eating stuff. Man,
I ain't never been in my system before. So I'm
taking her home, and my stomach is turning it. So
we get at the front of the house. I'm gonna
walk up to the door. She said, come on here
for a little while. My mama and them gone. Oh. Now,
(02:53):
my mama had told me when your stomach just tore up,
try to go home.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, yes, put that in.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Nobody else grated blak, yes, But she was so fine.
I just said, well, man, let me go on in
here for a little while, because I what kind of
man would I be?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Fine?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Chick invite you in, and mama and daddy ain't there,
Let me at least go on in here.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Something your stomach.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
I mean, really, sureley this a girl air man would
have went in there. I'm sitting there on the country
watching TV. My stomach is turning. I can hear it.
So I said, can I go to the bathroom? She said,
second door on the left. I go in there, and
(03:35):
Lord have mercy the walls of gibaltar.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Walls of.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
I'd have grabbed the tie rack in front of me
to just try to hang on. I'm twisting the guest
tile in my head like I'm ringing it out. I
did knock the toilet tissue holder off the wall, screw
out everything I did, kicked over the trash.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Can you can hear this right?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't hear. It wasn't feeling what I was feeling.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
But I'm using the bathroom so much that is alarming
to me.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I've actually put more.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
In there than I've ever put in there in my
life prior to I didn't know when you don't stop
my story shirt.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
This is for JR.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Time I talk about it.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
So I'm filling the bowl of so finally I'm done
to my release. But I'm sweating though I'm talking about
I'm in there.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
My shirt wide. I had button my whole shirt.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's wide.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
I had hung my pants up on the back of
the drunk because I use the bathroom like my daddy
always hang my pants and draws on the back of
the story because yeah, you don't ever use the bathroom.
But I got my shirt on but I don't open
it up because it's hot. I got just just water
coming down out the frow. So I stand on and
(05:16):
I flushed the toilet. Now I'm putting my clothes on.
But you know how you're waiting to hear that sound
that don't hear. All I hear is to swirl it.
And I turn around and it's rising.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Rising, and I'm asking.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
God to not to do this to me today.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I'm asking God, not today, Lord, not in him.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Three, this ain't the time for this, Lord, stop this
well from rising. Email bother, God, you ain't now, Oh God, Jesus,
stop this swirl. But it's steady coming God. Part two
(06:17):
right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Here we are, Steve alright, I'm back, Just catch up.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I'm over this fine girl house stomach toe up. Then
eight grill old Food seventeen should have went home and
used the bathroom set in our house be cause she's fine.
Now I'm in here using the bathroom and all held
and broke loose again. I'm in here, neked, sitting on
the cart, just my shirt on because I like to
sit widely. I like to be open and free, and
(06:45):
I need it because I had to brace myself a
couple of times.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
But she never came in there to not.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Check she coming that's coming in the store. So I
get up.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
I finally get through, but I've noticed that I'm putting
more in the bowls than ever before, so I'm a
little bit concerned with the sheer volume. So I flushed
the toilet as I'm putting my pasts back up on me,
and I'm waiting to hear that. But I don't hear it.
And I look back and his rise just going in
(07:17):
a slow circle.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So I go in. I go to my heavenly father.
He and father doll boy, Now long stop this rise
in time.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Wow, somehow, don't let this swirl get up by the top.
But he didn't hear me that day. Yeah, I guess
it wasn't less. The next thing I know, it's at
the very top of the toilet, Oh my god, and
it's about to flow over.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So now I don't know what to do. So I
look down and it's a trash can.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
So I dipped the trash can down in it, and
I gotta trash can full of it here.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
So I boiled a.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Shower curtain back and throw it in the bath tub.
But here comes some more so I had to take
another trash can full of it and throw another trash
can in the bath tub, and here comes some more so.
Now I realized they call it is broke up, and
(08:30):
it started going back down you work at I say,
I gotta get some water and put it in here.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So I started running.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Water in the trash can to pour it down there
and make the water go clean.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
So I finally did that. Yeah, and I said, thank
you Lord.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
And I looked over and the bath tub is trip,
shower crook is tray.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I look up, it's on the wall. Wait, wait, it's
on the water fore part four. Hold this is this
is Steve Hollis in the bathroom trapped parts.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Folk coming up right over there. Trap in the bathroom,
part folk. It's on the walls, the shower curtain, and
the bathtub is shot.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Steve trapped in the bathrooms. I done veiled out.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Three buckets, trapping hands, a pure mess to throw it
in the shower. So when I get all of the
water back in the toilet where I got it sometime
in the water clean, I said, okay, cool, I look over.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
The bathtub is strapping.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
So now I cut these people shower on these, and
I'm washing down the walls, the shower, our curtain with
the shower. The girl comes up to the door because
I've been in here now about forty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
A long time, so she said, you're okay?
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Down everything? She said it sounded like something wrong in
that get waiting to do to get away from the said, well, okay,
so I'm in there. It's this too late. But I
(10:31):
noticed they got a candle in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Oh I light it.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
I light the candlestars. Striking matches and running tap water.
That for my mama always told me, strike some matches
and run some tapwater. It'll help you get rid of old.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
So I'm in there.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
But now I'm washing down shower, curtains, walls.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
The bath tub, getting up stuff off the floor.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
I'm just in here now. Now you probably saying, Steve,
what is you washing it down with?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah? What paper towers in there?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
But that tie rack that I had grabbed when I
first sat down and was twisting it.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, they guessed.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
Towns the.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Forwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I washed it down with.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
My good town.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That is tie is brown because I can't riss it
all the color When it started they was painted. Now
towers is running.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I done washed all the walls down, everything. I'm in
that sweating. You been on a construction site, you have.
I've been in there totals about from near hour. So
I put them a fastened my clothes. I look in
the bathroom. I got everything up, but I got this
big mast of town and I don't know what to
(11:53):
do with it. So I take it, put it in
the waste paper can that I've been bailing with, and
struck all that under the seat.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Yeah, I figured this ain't finna be good.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
No how, but at least when they come in here,
it's gonna take a moment, because I know when you're
going there, you're gonna have to say what they hit.
Because I couldn't remember how the shower curtain was or
none of that. Now I got I look out, I'm
telling you, I got everything off. So I walked down
the hallway. She's sitting on the couch with an attitude.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Fled.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Then she looked at me and she said, why you
been in there so long? I had a little accident.
Then she said, oh my god, look at you.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I didn't realize.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
When I was bailing all that mess into the shower.
It was splashing on my pants and on my knee.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I ain't had time to look at this because I'm
on physics leading up there.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I look down, It's just specks and splash marks from
my knee down my pants was a trifle. I looked
at her. She looked at me and she said, oh
my god, look at you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
What have you been doing. I looked at her, said you.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Ain't got to talk to me like that, and walked
out the foot throat and snamed. But when they got
in my car had to ride home with all my windows.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Down because I speak.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
I smelled like a stump sitting in that car and
drove home. And that girl saw me on the campus
next day and all her girlfriend was looking at me
like I had never met her. And that was my Harvey, Wow, trapped.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
You're listening. Took to Steve every morning show.
All right, we're gonna go around the room with you
three guys. Okay, what's the biggest light you ever told?
Tommy started off my son, my oldest son.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
When he was younger, he wanted to go to PG
thirteen movies.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I always knew it was gonna be something that he
didn't need to see.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
He didn't know, but I would tell him, Hey, do
you know what PG thirteen means?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
He's like no.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I say that means only thirteen people can go in
the movie. So when we would get there, I say
it's already twelve people in there. We can't go in there.
It's too late. And he would be like, wow, we
don't never get here in time enough to see any
PG thirteen. We're gonna have to go see a G movie.
(00:43):
We're gonna go see a GM. We'd be all up
in line, king we not going and see PG.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Your mama ain't gonna be mad at man? PG thirteen?
What is all right?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Come on you?
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, what's the biggest lie you ever?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I need to make sure that my mama ain't listening?
Oh man.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I was at foot about sixteen years old, and my
mama let me take her truck to practice and you know.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
After practice, my boy get in the truck. We dropped back.
I took my mama brand new blazer, uh huh and backed.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
It and got it stuck on the side and then
it the whole left side on the school bus.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
My boy said, man, I can't let you go back
home with the truth. Uh huh. You got to say
that bus back then in the youth.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Okay, boy, he said, you can't walk in Mama bread
he got this tag still on it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It ain't no license plate. Man, I walked in the
Mama said what happened to that truck? And my boy
just went and talking.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
We was just butting up our seat best and they
can know a school bus hit us.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Boy.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
My mama bought that for about two months. About two
months she said why, she said, why you ain't getting
no case? Uh huh, right, I got well, I had
receive that sixty. I was fast after that fast, all right, Steve,
you you started telling us about this woman.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
I met this girl and in college, Lord, she was
fine creole girl. My brother told me how to get him,
and he gave me some money to take out. So
I told her to pick a restaurant. She picked the
creole restaurant. Now I'm seventeen, I ain't had no creole food,
so I'm in.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I go in there.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
She done ordered all this spicy stuff. If you feel
all this but spicy though, yeah, yeah, I'm eating stuff. Man,
I ain't never been in my system before. So I'm
taking her home, and my stomach is turning it. So
we get at the front of the house. I'm gonna
walk up to the door. She said, come on here
for a little while. My mama and them gone. Oh. Now,
(02:53):
my mama had told me when your stomach just tore up,
try to go home.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, yes, put that in.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Nobody else grated blak, yes, But she was so fine.
I just said, well, man, let me go on in
here for a little while, because I what kind of
man would I be?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Fine?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
Chick invite you in, and mama and daddy ain't there,
Let me at least go on in here.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Something your stomach.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
I mean, really, sureley this a girl air man would
have went in there. I'm sitting there on the country
watching TV. My stomach is turning. I can hear it.
So I said, can I go to the bathroom? She said,
second door on the left. I go in there, and
(03:35):
Lord have mercy the walls of gibaltar.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Walls of.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
I'd have grabbed the tie rack in front of me
to just try to hang on. I'm twisting the guest
tile in my head like I'm ringing it out. I
did knock the toilet tissue holder off the wall, screw
out everything I did, kicked over the trash.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Can you can hear this right?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't hear. It wasn't feeling what I was feeling.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
But I'm using the bathroom so much that is alarming
to me.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I've actually put more.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
In there than I've ever put in there in my
life prior to I didn't know when you don't stop
my story shirt.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
This is for JR.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Time I talk about it.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
So I'm filling the bowl of so finally I'm done
to my release. But I'm sweating though I'm talking about
I'm in there.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
My shirt wide. I had button my whole shirt.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's wide.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
I had hung my pants up on the back of
the drunk because I use the bathroom like my daddy
always hang my pants and draws on the back of
the story because yeah, you don't ever use the bathroom.
But I got my shirt on but I don't open
it up because it's hot. I got just just water
coming down out the frow. So I stand on and
(05:16):
I flushed the toilet. Now I'm putting my clothes on.
But you know how you're waiting to hear that sound
that don't hear. All I hear is to swirl it.
And I turn around and it's rising.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Rising, and I'm asking.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
God to not to do this to me today.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I'm asking God, not today, Lord, not in him.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Three, this ain't the time for this, Lord, stop this
well from rising. Email bother, God, you ain't now, Oh God, Jesus,
stop this swirl. But it's steady coming God. Part two
(06:17):
right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Here we are, Steve alright, I'm back, Just catch up.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I'm over this fine girl house stomach toe up. Then
eight grill old Food seventeen should have went home and
used the bathroom set in our house be cause she's fine.
Now I'm in here using the bathroom and all held
and broke loose again. I'm in here, neked, sitting on
the cart, just my shirt on because I like to
sit widely. I like to be open and free, and
(06:45):
I need it because I had to brace myself a
couple of times.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
But she never came in there to not.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Check she coming that's coming in the store. So I
get up.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
I finally get through, but I've noticed that I'm putting
more in the bowls than ever before, so I'm a
little bit concerned with the sheer volume. So I flushed
the toilet as I'm putting my pasts back up on me,
and I'm waiting to hear that. But I don't hear it.
And I look back and his rise just going in
(07:17):
a slow circle.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So I go in. I go to my heavenly father.
He and father doll boy, Now long stop this rise
in time.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Wow, somehow, don't let this swirl get up by the top.
But he didn't hear me that day. Yeah, I guess
it wasn't less. The next thing I know, it's at
the very top of the toilet, Oh my god, and
it's about to flow over.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So now I don't know what to do. So I
look down and it's a trash can.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
So I dipped the trash can down in it, and
I gotta trash can full of it here.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
So I boiled a.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Shower curtain back and throw it in the bath tub.
But here comes some more so I had to take
another trash can full of it and throw another trash
can in the bath tub, and here comes some more so.
Now I realized they call it is broke up, and
(08:30):
it started going back down you work at I say,
I gotta get some water and put it in here.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So I started running.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Water in the trash can to pour it down there
and make the water go clean.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
So I finally did that. Yeah, and I said, thank
you Lord.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
And I looked over and the bath tub is trip,
shower crook is tray.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I look up, it's on the wall. Wait, wait, it's
on the water fore part four. Hold this is this
is Steve Hollis in the bathroom trapped parts.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Folk coming up right over there. Trap in the bathroom,
part folk. It's on the walls, the shower curtain, and
the bathtub is shot.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Steve trapped in the bathrooms. I done veiled out.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Three buckets, trapping hands, a pure mess to throw it
in the shower. So when I get all of the
water back in the toilet where I got it sometime
in the water clean, I said, okay, cool, I look over.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
The bathtub is strapping.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
So now I cut these people shower on these, and
I'm washing down the walls, the shower, our curtain with
the shower. The girl comes up to the door because
I've been in here now about forty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
A long time, so she said, you're okay?
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Down everything? She said it sounded like something wrong in
that get waiting to do to get away from the said, well, okay,
so I'm in there. It's this too late. But I
(10:31):
noticed they got a candle in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Oh I light it.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
I light the candlestars. Striking matches and running tap water.
That for my mama always told me, strike some matches
and run some tapwater. It'll help you get rid of old.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
So I'm in there.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
But now I'm washing down shower, curtains, walls.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
The bath tub, getting up stuff off the floor.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
I'm just in here now. Now you probably saying, Steve,
what is you washing it down with?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah? What paper towers in there?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
But that tie rack that I had grabbed when I
first sat down and was twisting it.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, they guessed.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
Towns the.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Forwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I washed it down with.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
My good town.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That is tie is brown because I can't riss it
all the color When it started they was painted. Now
towers is running.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I done washed all the walls down, everything. I'm in
that sweating. You been on a construction site, you have.
I've been in there totals about from near hour. So
I put them a fastened my clothes. I look in
the bathroom. I got everything up, but I got this
big mast of town and I don't know what to
(11:53):
do with it. So I take it, put it in
the waste paper can that I've been bailing with, and
struck all that under the seat.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Yeah, I figured this ain't finna be good.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
No how, but at least when they come in here,
it's gonna take a moment, because I know when you're
going there, you're gonna have to say what they hit.
Because I couldn't remember how the shower curtain was or
none of that. Now I got I look out, I'm
telling you, I got everything off. So I walked down
the hallway. She's sitting on the couch with an attitude.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Fled.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Then she looked at me and she said, why you
been in there so long? I had a little accident.
Then she said, oh my god, look at you.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I didn't realize.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
When I was bailing all that mess into the shower.
It was splashing on my pants and on my knee.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I ain't had time to look at this because I'm
on physics leading up there.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I look down, It's just specks and splash marks from
my knee down my pants was a trifle. I looked
at her. She looked at me and she said, oh
my god, look at you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
What have you been doing. I looked at her, said you.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Ain't got to talk to me like that, and walked
out the foot throat and snamed. But when they got
in my car had to ride home with all my windows.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Down because I speak.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
I smelled like a stump sitting in that car and
drove home. And that girl saw me on the campus
next day and all her girlfriend was looking at me
like I had never met her. And that was my Harvey, Wow, trapped.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
You're listening. Took to Steve every morning show.
Hosts And Creators
Steve Harvey
Shirley Strawberry
Thomas "Nephew Tommy" Miles
Carla Ferrell
Kier "Junior" Spates
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