August 15, 2024 • 12 mins
Steve Harvey Morning Show Online: http://www.steveharveyfm.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, all right, Steve, you you started telling us
about this woman.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I met this girl in college.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Lord, she was fine, creole girl. My brother told me
how to get her, and he gave me some money
to take out. So I told her to pick a restaurant.
She picked a creole restaurant. I'm seventeen, I ain't had
no creole food, so I'm in.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I go in there.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
She done ordered all this spicy stuff. It to fail,
all this but spicey though. Yeah, yeah, I'm eating stuff. Man,
I ain't never been in my system before. So I'm
taking her home, and my stomach is turning it. So
we get at the front of the house. I'm gonna
walk her to the door. She said, come on in
for a little while. My mama and them gone. Oh now,
(00:50):
my mama had told me, when your stomach just tore.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Up, try to go home. Yes, yeah, put that in
nobody else house. Great advice, yes, But she was so fine.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I just said, well, man, let me go on in
here for a little while, because I'm what kind of
man would I be? Fine, chick, invite you in, and
Mama and dadd ain't there.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Let me at least go on in here. Something but
your stomach.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I mean, really, Sureley, this a girl air man would
have went in there. I'm sitting there on the country
watching TV. My stomach is turning. I could hear so
I said, can I go to the bath She said,
second door on the left.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I go in there, and Lord have mercy. The walls
are gibaltar walls of.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'd have grabbed the tie rack in front of me
to just try to hang on. I'm twisting the guest
tile in my head like I'm ringing it out. I
did knock the toilet tiss your holder off the wall
screws out everything I had kicked over the trash cat.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Can hear this right? I don't hear. It wasn't feeling
what I was feeling.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But I'm using the bathroom so much that was alarming
to me.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I've actually put.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
More in there than I've ever put in there in
my life prior to.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think I didn't know what You don't stop my story, Shi,
this is for junior time.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So I'm filling the bowl up.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So finally I'm done, to my relief, but I'm sweating
though I'm talking about I'm in there, sir, my shirt wide,
I had, but my whole shirt it's wide. I had
hung my pants up on the back of the dunk
because I use the bathroom like my daddy always hang
(02:54):
my pants and draws up on the back of the
you know Everew's bathrooms. But I got my shirt on,
but I dodn't open it up because it's hot. I
got just just water coming down out the frow. So
I stand up and I flushed the toilet. Now I'm
(03:16):
putting my clothes on. But you know how you're waiting
to hear that sound that all I hear is to
swirl and I turn around and his rise.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Rising.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I'm asking God not to do this to me today.
I'm asking God, not today, Lord, not in here.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You have a part three. This ain't the time for this. Lord,
stop this swirl from rise bother. God, you ain't ever right.
Oh God, we have to go through.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I will, but Jesus will stop this, sir. But it's
steady coming.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
God, just catch up. I'm over this fine girl house.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Stomach toe up the eight grill old food seventeen should
have went home and used the bathroom, sat in our
house cause she's fine. Now I'm in here using the
bathroom and all held and broke. I'm in here, neked
just my shirt on cause I like to shit wide, lady.
I like to be open and free, and I need
(04:42):
it because I had to brace myself a couple of times.
But she never came in there to.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do not check she coming, that's coming in the store.
So I get up.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I finally get through, but I've noticed that I'm putting
more in the bowls than ever be, so I'm a
little bit concerned with the sheer volume. So I flushed
the toilet as I'm putting my pants back up on me,
and I'm waiting to hear that. But I don't hear it.
And I look back and his rise.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Just going in a slow circle. So I go in.
I go to my heavenly fall. He fathered.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Boy. Now lost stop this rise in time? Wow, somehow,
don't let this swirl get up by the top. But
he didn't hear me that day. Yes, I guess it
wasn't less. The next thing I know, it's at the
very top of the toilet. O, my god, and it's about.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
To flow over. So now I don't know what to do.
So I look down and it's a trash can.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
So I dipped the trash can down in it, and
I got a trash can.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Full of it here.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So I put on the shower curtain back and throw
it in the bath tub.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
But here comes some more.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
So I had to take another trash can full of
it and throw another trash can in the bath tub,
and here comes some damn moat. So now I realized
they call it is broke up, and it started going
back down or you work there, I say, I gotta
(06:32):
get some water and put it in here. So I
started running water in the trash can to pour.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
It down there and make the water go clean. So
I finally did that.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, Then I said, thank you Lord, And I looked
over and the damn bath tub is trip.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Shower curt trap. I look, come, it's on the wall,
It's on the water four part four, hold time.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
This is this is all Kelly's in the closet.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
This is Steve Hollis in the bathroom. Trapped parts folk
coming up right over here. Trap in the bathroom, part Folk.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's on the walls, the shower curtain and the vath
tub shot.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You're listening Morning show.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Indeed, Trapped in the bathroom A lah R Kelly in
the clothes part folk. Yeah, I done bailed out three
buckets traps hands of pure mess, then throw it in
the shower. So when I get all of the water
(07:48):
back in the tarnet where I got it some time
and the water clean, I said.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I look over the damn vathtub is strapped.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So now I could these people shower on you?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And I'm washing down the walls, the shower curtain with
the shower. The girl comes up to the door because
I've been in here now about forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
A long time, so she said, you don't caring.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Now everything she said it sounded like something wrong that
get waiting to do.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
To get away from the said, well, okay, my house.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
So I'm in there. It's just too late. But I
noticed they got a candle in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh I light it.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I light the candles. Starts striking matches and running tapwater.
That for my mama always told me, strike some matches
and run some tapwater.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It'll help you get rid of old them something there.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
But now I'm washing down shower curtains, walls, the bath tub,
getting up stuff off the float. I'm just in here
now now you probably says, what is you washing it
down with? Yeah? Well what?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No paper towes in there, but that tie.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Rat that I had grabbed when I first sat down
and was twisting it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, they guessed.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Towns forward, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I washed it
down with.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
My good town that is tie is brown because I
can't rist it all the color when it started that
was pink. That towns is running. I have washed all
the walls down.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Everything I'm in that sweats been on the construction site.
I've been in there total my damn near hour. So
I put a fanstened my clothes, I look at the bathrooms.
I got everything up, but I got this big nasty
ass time and I don't know what to do with it.
So I take it, put it in the waste paper
(10:06):
can that I've been bailing with, and struck all that
under the sea. I figured this ain't finn to be good,
no how, But at least when they come in here,
it's gonna take a moment, because I know when you're
going there, you're.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Gonna have to say what the hit happened here?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Because I couldn't remember how the shower curtain was and
none of that, and now I got I look, I'm
telling you, I.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Got everything off. So I walked down the hallway.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
She's sitting on the couch with an attitude folded.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
She look at me.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
She said, why you been in there so long? I
had a little accident this, she said, Oh my god,
look at you. I didn't realize when I was bailing
all that mess into the shower it was splashing on
(11:03):
my pants and on my knee. I ain't had time
to look at this because I'm too busy cleaning up
that damn house.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I look down, It's just.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Specks and splash marks from my knee down my pants
was trifle.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I looked at her. She looked at me, and she said,
oh my god, look at you. What have you been doing.
I looked at her, said.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You ain't got to talk to me like that, and
walked out the floor, throat and slam.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
When the man got in my car had to ride
home with all my windows down because I stink. I
smelled like a skunk sitting in that car.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
O God, and that girl saw me on the campus
next day, and all her girlfriends was looking at me
like I had never met her.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And that was my Harvey. Wow, Trapped, Trapped. I love
that Claulton. I'm gonna put some music to that, all.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, all right, nephew, tell me coming up next with
the prank phone call.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You're listening, Dave Harvey Morning Show
All right, all right, Steve, you you started telling us
about this woman.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I met this girl in college.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Lord, she was fine, creole girl. My brother told me
how to get her, and he gave me some money
to take out. So I told her to pick a restaurant.
She picked a creole restaurant. I'm seventeen, I ain't had
no creole food, so I'm in.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I go in there.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
She done ordered all this spicy stuff. It to fail,
all this but spicey though. Yeah, yeah, I'm eating stuff. Man,
I ain't never been in my system before. So I'm
taking her home, and my stomach is turning it. So
we get at the front of the house. I'm gonna
walk her to the door. She said, come on in
for a little while. My mama and them gone. Oh now,
(00:50):
my mama had told me, when your stomach just tore.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Up, try to go home. Yes, yeah, put that in
nobody else house. Great advice, yes, But she was so fine.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I just said, well, man, let me go on in
here for a little while, because I'm what kind of
man would I be? Fine, chick, invite you in, and
Mama and dadd ain't there.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Let me at least go on in here. Something but
your stomach.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I mean, really, Sureley, this a girl air man would
have went in there. I'm sitting there on the country
watching TV. My stomach is turning. I could hear so
I said, can I go to the bath She said,
second door on the left.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I go in there, and Lord have mercy. The walls
are gibaltar walls of.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'd have grabbed the tie rack in front of me
to just try to hang on. I'm twisting the guest
tile in my head like I'm ringing it out. I
did knock the toilet tiss your holder off the wall
screws out everything I had kicked over the trash cat.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Can hear this right? I don't hear. It wasn't feeling
what I was feeling.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But I'm using the bathroom so much that was alarming
to me.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I've actually put.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
More in there than I've ever put in there in
my life prior to.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think I didn't know what You don't stop my story, Shi,
this is for junior time.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So I'm filling the bowl up.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So finally I'm done, to my relief, but I'm sweating
though I'm talking about I'm in there, sir, my shirt wide,
I had, but my whole shirt it's wide. I had
hung my pants up on the back of the dunk
because I use the bathroom like my daddy always hang
(02:54):
my pants and draws up on the back of the
you know Everew's bathrooms. But I got my shirt on,
but I dodn't open it up because it's hot. I
got just just water coming down out the frow. So
I stand up and I flushed the toilet. Now I'm
(03:16):
putting my clothes on. But you know how you're waiting
to hear that sound that all I hear is to
swirl and I turn around and his rise.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Rising.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I'm asking God not to do this to me today.
I'm asking God, not today, Lord, not in here.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You have a part three. This ain't the time for this. Lord,
stop this swirl from rise bother. God, you ain't ever right.
Oh God, we have to go through.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I will, but Jesus will stop this, sir. But it's
steady coming.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
God, just catch up. I'm over this fine girl house.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Stomach toe up the eight grill old food seventeen should
have went home and used the bathroom, sat in our
house cause she's fine. Now I'm in here using the
bathroom and all held and broke. I'm in here, neked
just my shirt on cause I like to shit wide, lady.
I like to be open and free, and I need
(04:42):
it because I had to brace myself a couple of times.
But she never came in there to.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do not check she coming, that's coming in the store.
So I get up.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I finally get through, but I've noticed that I'm putting
more in the bowls than ever be, so I'm a
little bit concerned with the sheer volume. So I flushed
the toilet as I'm putting my pants back up on me,
and I'm waiting to hear that. But I don't hear it.
And I look back and his rise.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Just going in a slow circle. So I go in.
I go to my heavenly fall. He fathered.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Boy. Now lost stop this rise in time? Wow, somehow,
don't let this swirl get up by the top. But
he didn't hear me that day. Yes, I guess it
wasn't less. The next thing I know, it's at the
very top of the toilet. O, my god, and it's about.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
To flow over. So now I don't know what to do.
So I look down and it's a trash can.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
So I dipped the trash can down in it, and
I got a trash can.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Full of it here.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So I put on the shower curtain back and throw
it in the bath tub.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
But here comes some more.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
So I had to take another trash can full of
it and throw another trash can in the bath tub,
and here comes some damn moat. So now I realized
they call it is broke up, and it started going
back down or you work there, I say, I gotta
(06:32):
get some water and put it in here. So I
started running water in the trash can to pour.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
It down there and make the water go clean. So
I finally did that.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, Then I said, thank you Lord, And I looked
over and the damn bath tub is trip.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Shower curt trap. I look, come, it's on the wall,
It's on the water four part four, hold time.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
This is this is all Kelly's in the closet.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
This is Steve Hollis in the bathroom. Trapped parts folk
coming up right over here. Trap in the bathroom, part Folk.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's on the walls, the shower curtain and the vath
tub shot.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You're listening Morning show.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Indeed, Trapped in the bathroom A lah R Kelly in
the clothes part folk. Yeah, I done bailed out three
buckets traps hands of pure mess, then throw it in
the shower. So when I get all of the water
(07:48):
back in the tarnet where I got it some time
and the water clean, I said.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I look over the damn vathtub is strapped.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So now I could these people shower on you?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And I'm washing down the walls, the shower curtain with
the shower. The girl comes up to the door because
I've been in here now about forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
A long time, so she said, you don't caring.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Now everything she said it sounded like something wrong that
get waiting to do.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
To get away from the said, well, okay, my house.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
So I'm in there. It's just too late. But I
noticed they got a candle in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh I light it.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I light the candles. Starts striking matches and running tapwater.
That for my mama always told me, strike some matches
and run some tapwater.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It'll help you get rid of old them something there.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
But now I'm washing down shower curtains, walls, the bath tub,
getting up stuff off the float. I'm just in here
now now you probably says, what is you washing it
down with? Yeah? Well what?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No paper towes in there, but that tie.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Rat that I had grabbed when I first sat down
and was twisting it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, they guessed.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Towns forward, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I washed it
down with.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
My good town that is tie is brown because I
can't rist it all the color when it started that
was pink. That towns is running. I have washed all
the walls down.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Everything I'm in that sweats been on the construction site.
I've been in there total my damn near hour. So
I put a fanstened my clothes, I look at the bathrooms.
I got everything up, but I got this big nasty
ass time and I don't know what to do with it.
So I take it, put it in the waste paper
(10:06):
can that I've been bailing with, and struck all that
under the sea. I figured this ain't finn to be good,
no how, But at least when they come in here,
it's gonna take a moment, because I know when you're
going there, you're.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Gonna have to say what the hit happened here?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Because I couldn't remember how the shower curtain was and
none of that, and now I got I look, I'm
telling you, I.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Got everything off. So I walked down the hallway.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
She's sitting on the couch with an attitude folded.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
She look at me.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
She said, why you been in there so long? I
had a little accident this, she said, Oh my god,
look at you. I didn't realize when I was bailing
all that mess into the shower it was splashing on
(11:03):
my pants and on my knee. I ain't had time
to look at this because I'm too busy cleaning up
that damn house.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I look down, It's just.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Specks and splash marks from my knee down my pants
was trifle.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I looked at her. She looked at me, and she said,
oh my god, look at you. What have you been doing.
I looked at her, said.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You ain't got to talk to me like that, and
walked out the floor, throat and slam.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
When the man got in my car had to ride
home with all my windows down because I stink. I
smelled like a skunk sitting in that car.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
O God, and that girl saw me on the campus
next day, and all her girlfriends was looking at me
like I had never met her.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And that was my Harvey. Wow, Trapped, Trapped. I love
that Claulton. I'm gonna put some music to that, all.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, all right, nephew, tell me coming up next with
the prank phone call.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You're listening, Dave Harvey Morning Show
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Shirley Strawberry
Thomas "Nephew Tommy" Miles
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