Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Rashaan McDonald, a host of the weekly Money
Making Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this
show provides off for everyone. It's time to stop reading
other people's success stories and start living your own.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
If you want to be.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
A guest on my show, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations
dot com and click the.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Be a Guest button. Now let's get started.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
My guest is the visionary founder and CEO of a
pre eminent employee engagement and workplace culture consulting firm to
fortune one hundred companies. She has personally read over thirty
thousand employee surveys and facilitated over one hundred employee focused groups,
including her signature art of active listening sessions. Please welcome
(00:45):
to the Money Making Conversation Masterclass. Heather Younger. How are
you doing, Heather?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
First word, Heather, you know, kind of low key now,
I've seen your picture energetic and everything is a long
day person.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get a.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Low key Heather. I've seen operation I'm on YouTube, I've
seen Ted Eggs. You doing, Yeah, it's been a long day. Brother,
you get what you get. You get what you get, brother,
get what you get.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
That's hilarious. Pop off. I'm gonna impart some wisdom, so
you know, let's just get to it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Come.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
You gotta inspire me, you know, because of the fact
that you know, I'm a fan, because of the fact
that you know what you do.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You do your research and.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Uh and I don't know everybody, but then if I
want to know something about somebody, the beauty of googling
somebody's name and then it just pop up and go.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
While she's running around the room, she's touching people, she's
on stage, she's hopping around. Heah rashean. How you doing that?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Brother? Yeah, yeah, I can't. I can't touch you the
phone call, you know, no, no, no, But.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You can touch me with that ended you though, So
tell everybody about your Heather. You know, I've done my
research on you. Let everybody know a little bit about
you before we get into all those great things I
said about you. Reading thirty thous employee surveys and facilitating
over one hundred employee focused group. That's a lot of
stuff and you have to have a lot of energy
to pull that off.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, you know, I'm driven to be honest. I'm driven
to be the voice for those who don't really have
a voice, and oftentimes that's the employee. Especially, oh my goodness,
in this current workplace environment where you see what's happening
in the government, where I think there's just a lot
of people who feel helpless and hopeless, and by the
way they have it's a historical thing that whole the
imbalance of power between employer and employee is massive, and
(02:30):
I saw a firsthand when I was working in an
organization and had gone through with a big merger of
companies and I'm in the middle of it, and I'm
feeling stuck. I'm feeling, like I always call it, stuck
in the muck, and I felt I felt stuck, like
I was being dragged down like everybody else in that
whole merger, because everybody kept sniffing around making sense that
there was going to be a lay off or something
going on. And so it was in that whole merged
(02:52):
environment where I felt stuck where I decided I needed
to be. I needed to be kind of like the
change out of seeking because no one's going to be
there to save me. I needed to go to save
myself and help them save other people. And so I
kind of took it by myself to create an employ
engagement council, creating kind a space for people to talk
about about what was happening, to listen to on another
to figure out how we can strategize to make the
(03:13):
merger more successful. But in that process, there was a layoff,
and I was one of the people at two hundred
people laid off, and I just realized in that moment
that I needed to be the person of kind of
like this voice of reason, the voice who can synth
aside all this stuff. I just you know that you
just said, I did into into like a palatable path
like action steps that somebody can go take. So all
those you know, jumping on and off stages and them
(03:35):
doing the books and all those things that you're just
talking about, those are all just my gosh, a calling.
I have to give back to the world to like leaders,
to people in power, to help impart to them what
it is they could do and how much how much
power they're giving away positive power, not the negative, yucky
stuff we see, but the real positive power. And so
(03:55):
that's why this whole this movement now toward self leadership
is critical to me, you know, helping people understand that.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Let measure this, Heather, because you know, layoffs, a person
being laid off and a person being fired are two
distinct emotions, you know, And I was. I got laid
off one time, my very first job at burger King
and laid me off. Guy came in and he said,
I thought I was making the best burgers in the world.
(04:24):
He said, Richard, can you come back. We need to talk.
I said, yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
He said, we got to lay off.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I remember when he said it to me. I slid
down the wall. I was in tears, and he said,
you did nothing wrong. But I but and I think
that's the part of being laid off is that it's
not you've done nothing wrong and people have changed your life,
where when you get terminated, I would tell people people
(04:54):
will get fired. No, they are going to get fired.
They're just waiting for you to make the decisions. That's
no joke about that. People will getting fired know they're
going to be fired, and they just I don't know
when they're gonna pull this trigger.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
But guess what, I'm gonna keep coming in until they do.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Coming.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Okay, talk about that emotional window.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
We you start talking about leadership and being in the
in the role of HR or is there a modern
role for HR or what you're doing is replacing or
empowering people beyond HR.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah, I mean HR. I mean I love HR people
because I do believe deep down their hearts there. But
they do have a complicated role because they're representing both
the company and they have to be there to be
looking for the well being and the team members the employees.
They are there so they're in a untental position. They're
not just there as advocates for the employees. They have
to do both. So I here's how I look at it,
(05:49):
being having kind of a rougher journey early on in
my career and then and in my personal life and
then kind of coming through that. Uh, I ain't nobody
coming to save me, and in the workplace, no one's
coming to save you, HR included. You have to be
the person who makes the choices that serve you best,
because no one else is going to make the better
(06:09):
decision to serve you best. Now, when we think about
that emotional side of for example, layoff and you know,
being terminated, I've been in both situations only once each time,
one when I was much younger, and then the other
one maybe like within the last ten years. And I
can tell you and that you talked about like knowing
that it's coming. I knew that both were coming next
because I tend to be like a little bit more
(06:29):
of a socially aware person, so I'm aware of what's
going on in the environment and I can feel something
in my gut each time. But I do have to
say that there's more shame associated with determination. Then there's
the left with the laft. You do feel shame, but
at the same time, because you understand you didn't have
a hand in it, like there was nothing you could
have done to change the situation, then there's a little
bit less shame involved. But I do think that sense
(06:52):
of powerlessness exists in both situations where you just you're
you're at a loss and you're like, what am I
going to do? How am I going to get out
of this? And again being got stuck in the muck
mindset is there, And I here's what I say. I say,
allow yourself to have those emotions as you're in those spots,
but at some point you got to give yourself a
cut off. I call it the switch. I call it
(07:13):
the switch in my head that says, Okay, those thoughts
that are stopping me, making me feeling like I'm like
a loser, like I'm ashamed of myself and who I
am don't serve me. They don't serve me. So I've
got to get out of my own way. I got
to flip the switch in my head to more rational
thoughts that serve me. So in that situation that layoff
earlier in my mind, I was like, I looked over,
(07:34):
I looked outside of myself, stood on the outside, looked
back at that situation. I said, you know what, I
learned a lot there. I learned tech there that I
never knew. I met my best friend there. I got
a severance there which allows me to be the person
jumping off all the states, all those things you're talking
about right right. But if I didn't give myself the
time to sit in the muck for a second and
(07:54):
then get out of the muck and look at myself
and go, wait a second, you're a better person because
of all this, and then you're stronger.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
But let me ask you this, Let me ask you this.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Heather I'm speaking to Heather Younger and just her whole
concept of being able to show leadership and and value.
Now the workplace environment, that's this average person. I know
there's an explosion for small businesses and the entrepreneurial spirit,
but how to effectively navigate workplace fears. I'm talking about
(08:24):
job security, performance, anxiety change. How can someone do that?
When you wake up in the morning, you know there's uncertainty,
how do you deal with that on a forty hour
week job that you know you need.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah, this is one thing I'm going to say to
those are listening. It's been a long time since I've
worked at kind of like the at fast food or
at most of my job. I've been now for the
last many year, like let's say, since twenty seventeen, working
on my own as an entrepreneur. Before that, I worked
in the public sector in a director level position, and
(09:02):
I've kind of have been majority of my career in
that director level. I've had one time when I was
a stint and I was a more senior, but I've
been in that like you know, like mid level manager.
So it's been a long long time since I've been
on the front line. So The reason why I try
to keep connected and doing all those employee focus groups
and listen to doing these surveys is to keep a
connection to the people doing the work on the ground.
(09:22):
So I haven't lived it in my own shoes for
a long while, but I try to understand it by
talking to the people who are doing it. So I
just that's one thing I do want to say. But
I think the very first thing we should do is
before going to even bed at night, so you get
them that long day. I think the number one thing
we do is should come home, find paper, a journal,
do something and write down the things that went well
(09:45):
that day, and also write down the things you felt
like you were in most control or had the most
influence over that day. Because I feel like if we
go to bed with that understanding of what we can control,
we can influence what we're grateful for. We wake up
the next day with a little bit less fear, a
little bit less of the anxiety that's there. I actually
struggle with anxiety. So I have to do things like
(10:06):
go outside and do walks in the sunshine. I would
go with my dogs. I have to do that breathing,
and I have to play games with myself on my head.
So been there, done that, and have written books and
done talks on this idea right of all this anxiety
that happens with these day to day work environment situations.
And I think the other thing is if you can
take on this tool called reframing, and psychologists use reframing
(10:27):
a lot to help people who are really having a
hard time of struggling. And what I like to think
of it, I say reframing. It is being intentional about reframing.
So reframing just says I'm going to take a negative
situation and look, maybe something that's even irrational, and I'm
going to turn it into more rational thinking. So for me,
in that place where the layoffs, I was like, was
that freaking out, get a job, all the things right?
(10:51):
And then I got to the point again I got
sick of myself. I stepped over that threshold of those
thoughts that were irrational, and I said, wait a second, Okay, nope,
good things happen, Nope, look I'm at look possibilities. So
I allowed myself that time to feel crazed, and then
I got out of it and said, okay, let's think
a different well, let's go a different direction. But I
had to be really intentional, and so I would say
(11:11):
that you have to fight tooth and nail for your
own mental space. Like don't don't wait for a boss, manager,
a spouse, a sister, a sibling to be the one
that helps you out of that. You have to do
it for you. So be really hyper intentional at night,
end it positive in the morning. Again, you should wake
up a little bit more refreshed. Don't forget to get
enough sleep, don't forget to drink enough water. Like this
(11:34):
is this is not something that costs a lot of money.
But the sleeping and the water and the basic things
that we all can do are the things that get
us in the right headspace together to make the right
decisions for the very next day.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Wow, this is Heather Younger. Now this is not the
head the younger that that came on, you know, saying.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
You won't be jumping.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
This is the one I see on YouTube. This is
the one I see going around the rooms. You know,
the truths inspiring you before we go to break tell
them about your website and then we come back and
your company and then we we'll come back, and I
want to ask you the five ways fears holding you
back professionally.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But before we do that, website and naming your.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Company Heatheryonger dot com is probably the best website. Gives
you a lot of stuff about me there, and I
think it's following me on LinkedIn as the best way
just to kind of get a hold of me and
reach out because I'm always there. I'm always on there,
So that's what I would say. Heather Younger, and.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
She's always on that. She's always on that, and she's
always on YouTube. She's always talking. She's somewhere talking all
the time. Heather Younger is always talking because she is
the bomb. And this is Racheon McDonald and you're listening
to money Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Don't go into web, We'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with more
money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money Making
converse Sations Masterclass, hosted by Rashan MacDonald. Money Making Conversations
Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow money
(13:09):
Making Conversations Masterclass on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
My guest is divisionary founder and CEO of a preeminent
employee engagement and workplace.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Let me just stop right there.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
She is an individual that gets it. She gets it
from a personal standpoint. She's an honest person from a standpoint.
She shares stories about herself. I think that's the only
way you can be authentic is that she's not perfect,
and she says that in a book. She's an award
winning author. But more importantly, she's a motivator who when
(13:42):
you hear her speak, when you see her in person,
you will see a part of you in her.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
You see a part of.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Her experience that you have shared. And I think that's
what makes Heather Younger the unique talent that she is
in this industry. Because age does matter and it impacts
a lot of people. Fear does matter and it impacts
a lot of people. And as we come back Heather, fear,
you know, fear stopped a lot of people from pursuing
(14:11):
dreams people. Fears stopped a lot of people from pursuing
the right relationship.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
What are the five ways of fears.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Holding you back, oh people back professionally that you can
share with us on this show today.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I mean, I think if we're talking really about kind
of the things that we do in this space of hear. So,
for example, sometimes fear of feedback is something that they
will hold people back because if they don't want to
take a move, they don't want to move forward, they
don't want to do the next thing because they're afraid
of what someone might say, or they don't even want
to ask for feedback because they don't want to even
do anything about it, or they again don't know what
(14:49):
the person's going to say, are assuming the worst about
themselves and aren't realizing that feedback itself is a gift.
It's a gift, even if it's constructive, even if it
hurts a little bit, it's still a gift. And so
I think that's one air where fear could be holding
you back because again it's the fear of the next thing. Also, oftentimes,
you know, we don't know if we're going to get
in trouble for something, so it's like fear of retribution,
(15:11):
fear fear of somebody of getting in trouble for the
for doing a step. Fear of speaking up is another
one where we don't want to use our voices, We
don't want to be we don't want to present a
dissenting opinion or say something calender to somebody who's in
power or in authority, because again we're gonna we think,
we don't know what they're gonna say, are were going
to be judged. That's something like around the idea of
psychological safety where people don't feel safe to speak up,
(15:33):
to speak the truth, the truth to power. And and
I think when we were looking at these things, we
have to evaluate a couple of things. First, are the
fears fears that were given to us like really early on,
like maybe our parents, our aunties, somebody gave us the
fears and then it just we let it just carry
on our backs or is it something that we've picked
(15:55):
up intentionally, unintentionally but it's us. And the reason why
I say that is because well, in either side, we
have the ability to influence how much we decide to
hold onto those or how much we decide to put
those down. So evaluating those fears. In my exercise in
the book that comes out next week on self Leadership,
I have a fear mapping exercise I have in there
(16:15):
where people can kind of name their fears and then
look about, like look at them and say where did
they come from? Because you can't get rid of them
unless you know where do they stem from? Because some
of these things go deep, like it's our grandma, our grandpa, whatever,
it could be. Generations of this stuff that comes back,
trauma that's passed down, and we have to go back
(16:36):
and go what is it that stops us from taking
the next step forward? My message, this message like do
this work, this new body of work on the art
of self leadership was really about this idea of fear
is the thing that stops us from leading ourselves well.
And what we are doing is we are sitting around
blaming other people for the things we don't have. We
(16:56):
are sitting around waiting for green lights, waiting for access,
waiting for invitations, waiting for oh, whatever it is, greetings,
and it's not going to happen. We need to seize it.
People ask me, how did you, you know, get this
one award? And I'm not sure you got this. You
get the same thing, how do you get this other thing?
And I go because I asked, because I asked. I
(17:18):
didn't wait for somebody to invite me. I asked because
and yes there's a fear there, But what's the worst
that could happen? Here's another question, here's I'm telling you
this thing, this changed my life. At the end of
last year, I got this question in my head and
this thing that has really helped me, and it is this,
what is the thing that you regret? You will regret
the longest doing the thing or not doing the thing.
(17:43):
So when you think about fears, that one question can
help take you off that whole non decision making dime quickly.
Because if if your question to you is, if your
answer to that is, oh, I am going to have
more regrets and I'll and i'll if I continue to
live in fear, then if I let it go and
(18:04):
I move forward with the next step or whatever that is,
it could be feared, could be anything. If I don't
do this next thing, which will I regret most? Not
doing it or doing it?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I would tell you this, not doing it, it's a
game changer, not doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
And I would tell you I will wake up and
I will go to sleep and I will regret that.
And so I am a person that and I'm dead
some Helen, I've done some things that I still think about.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah, why did I do it?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
But I did it and it allowed me to make
I feel the right decision The next time.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
But if you don't do it, then you will complicate.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
You come up with a complicated emotion inside of you
that can slow you down in your decision making. So
when I've done things I and I've been fortunate in
my life, Heather, I believe that I've pretty much done
what I wanted to do when it came up to
me to make that decision, make that that that fork
in the road decision that a lot of people don't
(19:03):
want to make.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
That's that fear.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
That fear because I work with a lot of highly
powerful people who come to me wanting advice. And when
they want advice, I can't go, hm, let me think
about it. They want an answer, think about it. I've
had people go, uh, you don't have an answer, And
I had that when that when that person said to
(19:26):
that that one time, I said to myself, that will
never be a statement said to me about me like
that again, that I don't have an answer. So I
get up in the morning, Heather, at four point thirty.
I read the I read the ce it In on
my on my phone. I read ESPN on my phone.
I read the Houston Chronicle. Because I'm born and raised
(19:48):
in Houston, I read the AGC, I go to Fox News,
I go through Variety, I go to Hollow Report. All
this is my morning. And so when I walk out
that door, I pretty much know a lot of information.
And so when people ask me in general, they go,
you know a lot. That's because I've been preparing since
four thirty to talk to you. Yeah, And that's that's
(20:11):
something that I share with everybody that you have to
treat every day how you want to be treated. I
am an information portal. You come to me, Heather, I
got a response for you. I remember Steve Harvey told
me one time. He said, with Shane, if somebody gonna
come to you, you're gonna give me answer. I said yep.
(20:32):
He said, you pretty much think you know everything. I said, yep,
I do. But and he laughed and walked off. He said,
I knew you're gonna say that. I go, yeah, what
you're thinking, I'm gonna say, I don't know everything. I
prepare it four thirty in the morning to know everything.
So if I don't know, I'm gonna go say yeah,
run around the corner, google it, come back and be
well aware of what you're about to say to me.
(20:53):
Because I'm prepared. So, Heather, you know, what you're saying
is amazing to me because so many people how fear
and it ruins, especially when you get over fifty, especially
when you get over sixty, the fear, it just takes over,
and it can ruin relationships, It can ruin families. It
can not just the job, because that whole experience can
(21:15):
take over as we close out. He just give them
some tips on becoming a leader within themselves.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, I would say that I look at yourself as
the chief iterator of your life. And what I mean,
my dad, is see yourself as a work in progress.
So you aren't going towards perfection. You're you're aiming towards
continuous progress. And so if you see, if you look
at it that way, it means everything you do is
(21:46):
an iteration of the very next thing you're gonna do.
You're gonna keep doing the very next You're gonna continue
to change and tweak and change and tweak. So when
you know that, it's like when you fall down, it's like,
oh well, I've bruised in a I bruised my knee,
Oh well, I bruised my elbow. Oh well, because you
know the next time you get up, you probably won't
bruise the elbow, at least not the same way. Because again,
if you're working progress and then you're iterating, you're always
(22:08):
paying attention, you're tweaking. So just see yourself in the
in in a ever changing way of being, and it's
just much easier to live that way if you're looking
at yourself from a very fixed state, where this is
where I end, this is where I start, this is
the this is where success is only right here. You
won't be happy, you will not be happy, but you
will feel more joy when you see yourself as a
(22:30):
work in progress. Know that you are being you are
being shaped by the life would better and different that
you that you're being facetriped with right now, and what
you're coming out as, Oh my gosh, it is that diamond.
It is a diamond you were all put here to be.
So that's what I would say to everybody listening right now.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Well, you know what you should say. My friend is dad.
Heather Younger is the ball you are. I'm so happy
that I invited you on my show because your voice
is what this country needs, you know, because we're walking
into a world of uncertainty you know, people are being
(23:07):
announced on the newspaper, they get laid off. Make a decision.
If you don't make the decision, we'll make the decision
for you. And that's when the self evaluation comes in.
That's when you should wake up planning and don't wait
wait for the plan to become part of the plan.
Like you said, set to make the plan, don't become
part of the plan.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yep, And don't wait to get on anybody's calendar.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Girl, I wish I could talk to you a long
because Daralen, can I invite you back on my show?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Great, because I got to bring you back because you
want of these people that every time I talk to
you as another question pop up and go that's five minutes.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Because you're a good talker.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I like I do is ask you a question you
five minutes in you know that's it because you're that good.
But again, tell everybody about your website and we're gonna
talk soon.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
With my friend.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
All right, did I get ahead of younger dot com?
Go check it out, and and check out my new
book to the Artist Self Leadership. It's out next week
severy eleven.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Make sure I get it so I can talk about it.
We talked to them.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh yeah, I appreciate your how Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
This has been another edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass
hosted by me Rashaan McDonald. Thank you to our guests
on the show today, and thank you our listening audience now.
If you want to listen to any episode or want
to be a guest on the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com.
Our social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us
(24:28):
next week and remember to always lead with your gifts,
Keep winning. This has been another edition of Money Making
Conversation Masterclass hosted by me Rashawn McDonald. Thank you to
our guests on the show today and thank you our
listening to the audience now. If you want to listen
to any episode I want to be a guest on
the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle
(24:50):
is money Making Conversations. Join us next week and remember
to always leave with your gifts.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Keep winning.