Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter live.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
On the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buck love on hold on time.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Let them all right if you thank you subject Being
healthy doesn't work for everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Stephen Shirley.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Late last year, my husband and I decided to get
in better physical and spiritual shape. He got baptized and
I fully supported him. We became Pescatarians and it helped
him lose fourteen pounds so far. Pescatarians you eat only fish.
You eat vegetables and all that other stuff, but yeah,
your meat is fish. I am petite and I have
(00:53):
never had a problem with my weight, but I do
love making healthier food choices. I think my husband takes
everything too far. Though he has removed things from his
life that he needs, like the skincare he used last year.
It's a must for him because he has hair bumps.
Now he uses a homemade salve that doesn't work at
all to exfoliate his skin. He's also been using an
(01:17):
all natural deodorant and that doesn't work on his body.
He needs all of the aluminum and other sad stuff
that was in his old deodorant.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Before because it worked.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
We work out together, so it's hard riding back home
in the car with him. Since he switched his deodorants.
He does most of the cooking, and he switched to
salt free seasonings and he uses a lot of garlic
for everything. If I offered a cook he stands over
me and tells me how to season the food. Our
intimacy has changed too. He doesn't want me on birth
(01:51):
control because it's not natural. The method he's chosen to
use is not full proof, and I'm always paranoid that
I'll get pregnant. We've made it clear that we don't
want kids, so he's playing a dangerous game. After six
years of marriage, I'm still not comfortable telling him that
he smells bad and that his cooking is bland. I
(02:13):
need him to get his skin together as well. Don't
get me wrong. Being healthy is ideal, But he needs
to tweak some things. How do I tell him that, yes,
you are right, being healthy is ideal, that's what we
all strive for, being in our best health. But yeah,
you need to tweak a lot of things. And you
just got to tell him. I mean, there's no way
around this. You have to tell him that he smells bad.
(02:37):
You have to don't crush him with it, though. I mean,
you just got to find a kind way, if there
is one to tell him. I mean, is there a
nice way to tell someone that they stink? Do your research,
find some other deodorants for him. I mean, look into
some more skin products. You got to do this for him.
(02:57):
You got to buy them. You got to ask him
to try the new ones, and then get some taste
of your seasonings. Gets you know, you got to put
some salt on your food. That's what brings the flavor out.
And what do you mean he stands over you while
you're cooking. Just ask him to have a seat and
tell him you got this. And why after six years
are you uncomfortable still to tell your husband things? You
(03:21):
you know, you you got up the courage to write us,
and it's gonna take that same boldness to let him
know how you feel. I just say, don't crush and
be nice about it. Start and end with some sort
of compliment like honey, you look good. I'm proud of you,
you know. Then hit them with the I found these products.
They may work better for you because the ones you're
using aren't doing the job. They are not working. And
(03:45):
then I like the other skin products you use because
the skin is soft. Your skin is soft and smooth
with no hair bumps. But you gotta, you know, mix
it in. You know, you got to tell them nicely,
all right, don't just blast him out.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
The key is how you say it.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Now, what you say, and I think you can do
this this, But why are you scared to talk to
your husband after six years? You say he's playing a
dangerous game with the with the birth control situation. No,
you're playing a dangerous game. It's your body. And if
you guys have decided not to have kids, you guys
got to work on this. Tommy.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
In the words of a gentleman in my grandmother's neighborhood
when I was growing up, Books and Bibles was his name,
and Books and Bibles used to roll up and say, man.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's a low down and fulky deal.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Never knew what that meant, but we called him books
and bibles, and as soon as he come up on you,
he be man. It's a lowdown and fulky deal. This
is a low down and fulky deal because you got
a situation. Now your man stink. I tell all I
can die. I'm smelling this. Do the letter to let
us think that y'all don't smell all this. All this
(04:57):
stink the and I'm probably while y'all cooking in the kitchen.
He's stank. When y'all in the bedroom, he's stank. When
y'all at the gym, he's stank. And if y'all bring
a baby in as well, the baby gonna stank everything.
This just this, ah, this stanks. This just thanks right here,
we got to figure out how to get some deodorant
(05:19):
up under his arm. And I listen while he's sleep,
I'm just saying this while he's sleep. I think you
should get that old white jaw with that red top
that touts the deodorant and put that just paste it
up under his arm so he can start smelling a
little bit better. This right here is bad. You gotta
have that conversation. It's time to have a conversation when
(05:39):
you're with but this show. This is not your this
is not your boyfriend, it's not somebody you dating. This
is your husband. This is the person you laying next
to every night. This is your man. So you got
to be able to y'all got to be close enough
the baby and say, baby, we got to sit down
and have this top. Baby. You stank. You stank in
(06:00):
the fact when he started coming in the house, start
playing stuff like when the funk hit the fan and
the people want to come on play that make my
funk the p funk. I wants to get funked up.
You got to start playing stuff he can relate to
and understand. Brother, you funky. It's a lowdown and funky deal,
(06:20):
and that's where you are. Man. It's just it's a dimi.
It's a load down and bunker deal. We got to
get your husband some deodorant. We got to get I
don't know what we got to do with this, he
breaking out. I don't know what we're gonna do about
this ex man. We gotta figure that part out too.
But that's what he got. Sure, that's what it is.
That's what that is, I know it when I hear
that's ell. Hang up.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
We'll have part two of our response to today's Strawberry
Letter at twenty three minutes after the hour funk.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Right after this, people, come on, get with me. You're
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Speaker 1 (07:31):
All right, we're going to recap today's Strawberry letter. The
subject that is being healthy doesn't work for everybody. A
woman wrote in. She and her husband have been married
for six years. She says late last year she and
her husband decided to get in better physical and spiritual shape.
He joined church. She supported him one hundred percent. Then
they changed their diet. They became pescatarians. So far, he's
(07:54):
lost fourteen pounds. She's fatigue. She's never had a problem
with her weight, but she does like make healthier food choices.
She says she thinks her husband takes everything too far,
though you know, it's just to the extreme.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
He stopped wearing his same deodorant. Now he smells badly.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
He stopped, he made some homemade sab for his beard,
and now he has hair bumps. He doesn't cook with
salt anymore. And all of this, she says, it's just
too much and too far. He uses garlic for everything.
If she offers to cook, he stands over the stove
and checks and watches everything she does. And you know,
(08:36):
and then he doesn't want her to use birth control
because they've tried to. They don't want to have children.
They both said they don't want children. So if she's
she stopped, and she says he's playing a dangerous game.
But again, they've been married for six years and she's
still uncomfortable telling him about how he smells and other
bads and other things. So she's saying, don't get her wrong,
(08:58):
being healthy is ideal, but she wants to know how
should she tell him that he's sticking Junior.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
You know what Charley call it this Tommy.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
These the people that get on my nerves, These people
who been a Christian eight hours.
Speaker 6 (09:15):
And try to tell everybody how to live.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Because ever since you got baptized, now we all fish.
Ever since you on baptized, now we can't wear at
the yodery I ever said you that got baptized. I
mean everything. I gotta be on birth joy, never looking
at your old false nothing just everything wrong with me. See,
(09:39):
I can't stand there with this has to stop. You
have to go get unbaptized. You was fine, he was fine.
Just go unbaptized him. We asked you to follow Jesus,
not smell like Jesus. We ain't ask you to do
all that. What we asked you to follow Jesus, not
try to smell like Jesus.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
We asked you to do all that follow him.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
That's different.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Yeah, because Lord did half old spies back then, we do.
You ain't never heard nobody say, you know we took
him out, old spice that killed him right there, that
old spies got him.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
You know, we ain't never heard.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
We ain't never heard season because now you're cooking all
that's playing. Ain't nobody ever said, Ain't nobody ever said
lowrys and onions, onion powder got him, That's what that
way it went wrong.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
I ain't never heard nobody say it was that last
t ball service.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Next said he got here. This is too much you ain't.
I've seen these people all the time. They want to
tell you everything that's wrong with you. Now you stand
over your wife's shoulder as she cooked.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
The way she wants to cook. Well, see, you think
everybody love missus Dash.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Don't nobody really want missus Dash? That season ain't got
nothing in it, nothing sodium, but it does nothing for fish.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Yes, anybody was just eat.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Fish, just cook it.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Just take a catfish and throw it out the oven.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Just eat.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
You'll be able to tell everything about that catfish. Spend
ten years down on the delta, you did, She.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Had one hundred and twenty five catfishy birth. Yeah, you
can found everything.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
Plus where I was high because you tasted everything wrong
with this fit. You ain't seizing nothing. This don't make
no sense. I can't stand these people. You want to
tell me how to live and don't work. Don't nobody
care nothing about this man? What she should do is
take that that deal that he wear and then just
get a bottle of old spice to take the top
(11:43):
off of that and put on the one that some
way you'll know.
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Ain't nobody said they're illuminum in old spice killed me.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Ain't nobody ever died from being fresh. I've not heard one,
certain I've not heard one cause of death because somebody bathed.
I've never heard that.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Why did he die?
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Taking Nick said he bathed himself to death. I've never
heard that. He can't leaning he had hot water and
a bubble bath and he took him out. He just
don't make no sense to live like this.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
No, it doesn't, no whatsoever.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, but why is she still uncomfortable after six years?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Talking to your husband is a problem? Why why is
that a problem?
Speaker 5 (12:32):
He just self because he's been a Christian eight our
he's doing brand new.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
Yeah, he's brand new. We got the same thing on
a bishop a war. You were in the same army.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
You ain't you ain't you sitting out here with us,
but you was like you were long up there. You
can't you've been a Christian eight out.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
This don't make no sense. Now you ain't got the
homemade piece of meeting from he no pork type of
front of him losing.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
What about the homemade stab he made instead of using
his skincare regiment?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
What about that? Once again, once.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
Again I'm not heard of.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Somebody die and not one I have not heard that
I love.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
He was rubbing his face and he fell to the flow.
Was next handy? That has not that has not happened you.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
No, you're coming from today. Strubbery put on This Morning
and Steve Harvey.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Have them on Instagram and on Facebook, and check out
the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Free Never Sounded So good. You can download it.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show