February 5, 2019 • 14 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a single 38 year old female and I like dating older gentlemen. I’m open to online dating and I have met some nice men on Facebook, so I often look at men’s profiles and meet them that way. A handsome man in another city caught my eye and I sent him a message. We chatted back and forth and found out that we have a lot in common, even though he is12 years older than me. When we first started video chatting, I thought that he looked familiar, and we’re from the same city, so I just figured our paths crossed somehow in the past.......
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Buckle up a hole long tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry letter subject, could her
X be my next? Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a single,
thirty eight year old female and I like dating older gentleman.
I'm open to online dating and I've met some nice
men on Facebook, so I often look at men's profiles
(00:22):
and meet them that way. A handsome man in another
city caught my eye and I sent him a message.
We chatted back and forth and found out that we
have a lot in common, even though he is twelve
years older than me. When we first started video chatting,
I thought that he looked familiar and we're from the
same city, so I just figured our pass cross somehow
(00:43):
in the past. After we did our video chats for
about a month, I mentioned that he looked very familiar,
but I couldn't place him. He told me where he
used to hang out and what his nickname is. My
face dropped and I got quiet. He asked me if
I had really figured out if I had finally figured
out who he was. Yes, I knew exactly who he is.
(01:09):
He is my sister's ex boyfriend. He said he knew
who I was all the time, the whole time, and
was just waiting for me to figure out who he was.
He said he wanted to see if I was going
to be a grown woman about things and continue to
chat with him, or if I was going to run
away from something that could be so good for both
of us. Even though he and my sister dated fifteen
(01:32):
years ago, I still stopped communicating with him. I told
my sister what had happened and exactly how it went down.
My sister told me to go ahead and talk to
the guy. I told her that I could not date
the same guy she dated. She told me that I
should at least see where things would go with this guy.
I do miss talking to him, but I'm still skeptical.
(01:55):
What do you think could her X be my next?
Please help? Yeah? Mmmm, it's right. Um, you know there
is such thing as a girlfriend code. Um, all women
know this. It's an unwritten, unspoken rule where friends and
sisters and things. You know. You don't date your your
(02:18):
friends or your sisters exes. It's just not something you do.
You just don't do it. It's it's weird. I'm a
little torn here because your sister doesn't seem to adhere
to the girlfriend code. She's a rare breed among women
because most women would would not want you to go
anywhere near their ex husband, ex boyfriend, any of that. Um,
(02:43):
So it's interesting that she said you should hang in
there and see where this date goes. It's also interesting
that her ex is onto you and knew who you
were and wanted to talk to you and was kind
of pursuing you and and things like that. That's interesting.
So maybe he was he liked you, you know, the
(03:05):
entire time, which is kind of crazy if he was
dating your sister. Yeah it was fifteen years ago. Yes,
it was fifteen years ago. There's still that girlfriend code
out there. Now. If you do date this guy and
it doesn't work out, are you and your sister still
gonna be tight and cool and everything, or you know,
is she gonna start acting funny, you know, feeling some
(03:26):
kind of way about this. It doesn't seem like it
in this letter. But people change, especially if you and
her ex get really tight and you know, you guys
marry or something like that could happen. So, I don't know,
this is a tough one. I don't know if I
would do this, even if I did have my sister's blessing. Steve,
I don't care for this letter because it don't really
(03:51):
mean nothing. Could her actually be my next thing? You're
on line talking to this dude sitting out the thing
about this girl, I'm a little concerned about it because
you know, she's a thirty your own female and she
likes dating older gentleman. But maybe she just wants because
she ain't. She ain't really says she's looking for nothing.
I liked dating older gentleman. I'm open to online dating.
(04:15):
I met some nice men on Facebook, so I look
at me as profiles and meet him that way. You know,
that's she just seems to be up and it ain't
nothing wrong with him. Maybe that's your life. She's just
a serial data to me, so trying to help her
get hooked up don't really seem to be the objective
in this letter. A handsome man in another city called
(04:38):
my eye. Just send him a message. We chatted back
and forth, found out that we have a lot incoming,
even though he's twelve years older than me. When we
first started video chatting, I thought he looked familiar. We
from the same city, so I just figured out our
pass crossed somewhere in the pass after we did our
video chats for about a month. I mentioned that he
(04:58):
looked familiar to you, and you didn't place it. Then
he told me to hang out and his nickname is
my face dropped and I got quiet, So he said,
have you finally figured out who I am? And I
knew exactly who he is. He was my sister's ex boyfriend.
Now the dude knew who you were right away, but
(05:19):
he wanted to see how long this game did he
go to pimp move though. He wanted to see if
I was gonna be a grown woman about things and
continue to chat with him, or if I was gonna
run away from something that could be so good for
both of us. Oh, dog, you for real, lady, you
don't know what game is, because if you don't think
(05:40):
that's a game, lie, I just wanted to see if
you was gonna be a grown woman about things. See
here's what's happening. He's an older man. Your sister was older.
Fifteen years ago, you was what how was you for
twenty three twenty three? Sister was what maybe thirty four
(06:06):
thirty five something like that. They was probably around the
same age. I was gonna see if you was gonna
be a grown woman about things and continue to chat
me or run away from something that could be good
for both of us? What was gonna be good for
both of y'all? He don't want really nothing from you
but one thing, because you ain't told him you want
(06:27):
nothing from him but one thing? You know why? Because
you were serial data. This just fitting to be another
nice man you've met on Facebook, then slept with another relationship,
and he gonna leave you to y'all, won't more? Will
not come back? Yeah? Okay, okay, all right? A little
(06:52):
commercials in the super Bowl too, Yeah, a little. But
I'm let me tell you this what well, well, when
we come back up and tell you the rest of it.
But this is a setup. This is going nowhere. It
has no intentions. But aren't you shocked at the sister
though hers? Well, I'm gonna get to that so I
get back. I'm gonna tell you why too, All right? Subjects?
Could her X be my next? Wow? Wow? Yeah? Well,
(07:19):
like I said in the letter, this woman is online
just dating people randomly. Look like a seal dated to
me ends up meeting this gown online that used to
date her sister. It took her month or so to
figure it out, but finally she thought she recognized him.
Then when he said she asked him his nickname, she
(07:40):
said that and where he lives. She got quiet. He said,
have you finally figured out who I am? And she
said yes. He said, I knew who you were from
the beginning, but I wanted to see if you was
gonna be a grown woman about things and continue to
chat with me, or if you was gonna run away
from something that could be so good for both of us.
(08:04):
Boy in the world that says game recognized game, I
recognized game. This is a cold line he didn't used
on you. First he challenged you to be grown up.
Then he baited you with something that could be so
good for the both of us. But since you ain't
(08:27):
never established what you really want with none of these men,
because you are serial daily data and you like dating
older men, so you're just like dating. So now he
figured it's gonna be another day he gonna hit it
and be gone. Wow. Now, you said, even though he
and my sister dated fifteen years ago, I still stopped
(08:48):
communicating with him. I told my sister what had happened.
So you and your sister got good relationship and exactly
how I went down. My sister told me to go
ahead and talk to the guy. I told her I
couldn't date the same guy she dated. She told me
I should at least see where things are gonna go
with this guy because she sister know you crazy, Your
(09:09):
sister know you're a seal data and your sister hoping
something just stick for you. Because your sister had moved on,
she got her life. It's probably a nice little bow
and everything, but she wants you to have a great life.
So she told you to go ahead. Then here you go,
because you're going so you just waiting on me, and
surely give you to go ahead because this is what
you say. I do miss talking to you, ye, but
(09:32):
I'm still skeptical. What's your skeptical about? What do you think?
Could her ex be my next It's going to be
according to you, your sister and gave you the green
Like you just said, you do miss talking to him,
and he didn't challenge you. This could be something good
for the both of us, But he ain't said what
good he talking about? Do this man? Won't you? Or
(09:53):
do he just wants something from you? If you take
your time, you can figure out the answer to them
two questions. If you're gonna rush back in and just
gonna let him do what he want to do, then
you're not gonna know. And that's what I'm saying to you. Now,
here's some danger to this right here. I can't imagine
this happening with me and my brother. I got an
(10:17):
older brother. I'm dating some woman he used to date.
And I called my brother and go, hey, bro, I'm
dating this good ah man, go ahead. See But now
suppose my brother called me up every nine then to
check on me, how me and her doing. But he
got advice with it though, Hey man, be careful. You
(10:39):
know she don't like chicken. I don't like chicken. She
don't like chicken. You know, just a little step, little
stuff like that. Hey man, let me tell you, so,
don't mess why I get yourself slap. I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, don't mess why I get your self slap?
(11:01):
Oh she's slapping people. Damn, she getting mad? Bust your
upside your damn hen Okay, just calling with all kind
of rights, a little bro boy. You wait till she
do this to you? What? Yeah, that's what happened. Little
(11:26):
it's too much. Yeah, knock it down, a little bro,
knock it down. Represent See how you see how you
stack up a dog ass car? Is she like big bro?
A little bro? Back called me back man, I don't
get it. I don't get it. I don't understand it.
(11:49):
I couldn't do it. But you know you're not me.
You like dating old man and you're serial dating. You
don't want nothing, so you're gonna probably end up seeing him.
You know. So her sister either really loves her really
hates her. I can't figure out which one. Go ahead,
(12:12):
you know, trying everything going over there. I told you
it's a reason I ain't win him going over there
and see for yourself. Yeah it could be that, it
really really could, you know. But he was just laying
back waiting for her to catch on, you know. So
you're right about the part with the game and everything,
(12:33):
you know, waiting for my nickname Goosey, Yeah, Goosey Goosey,
you know, kind of like goose man. You know the
you know, the Virginia governor h oh oh, that nickname.
Didn't call him goose They called me goose says that
(12:53):
was a stretch where we got it. Yeah, I know
it was an obscure joke. Yeah, I really, yeah, you
got it. You know when you own the radio, sometimes
they don't all work. You know, they can't all make
it over the wall. We understand some mom's out. Most
of them do. Yeah, but some mom's out and that
was out. You hit the ball and they catch it
(13:15):
at second base. Ain't nobody had to even jump? So
what should we tell her to not do this? I mean,
it only makes sense not to do it. To do it,
but you know that's what you want to do. Go ahead, Yeah,
I mean, of all the guys. So he's nothing gonna
do it? Do it? Well? What you don't want it?
(13:37):
He don't do it? Do it well, I don't don't
want what ja your sister was better? You don't get
evet back in him. This is not a good look.
(13:59):
Not a good look. Yeah. Yeah, it could end badly.
Yeah all right, Well, if that's all we have, just
don't do it. Don't day someone your sisters dated? Yeah
all right, guys, we gotta get out of here. Leave
your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at Steve
Harvey f M. You're listening to the Steven Show.
Buckle up a hole long tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry letter subject, could her
X be my next? Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a single,
thirty eight year old female and I like dating older gentleman.
I'm open to online dating and I've met some nice
men on Facebook, so I often look at men's profiles
(00:22):
and meet them that way. A handsome man in another
city caught my eye and I sent him a message.
We chatted back and forth and found out that we
have a lot in common, even though he is twelve
years older than me. When we first started video chatting,
I thought that he looked familiar and we're from the
same city, so I just figured our pass cross somehow
(00:43):
in the past. After we did our video chats for
about a month, I mentioned that he looked very familiar,
but I couldn't place him. He told me where he
used to hang out and what his nickname is. My
face dropped and I got quiet. He asked me if
I had really figured out if I had finally figured
out who he was. Yes, I knew exactly who he is.
(01:09):
He is my sister's ex boyfriend. He said he knew
who I was all the time, the whole time, and
was just waiting for me to figure out who he was.
He said he wanted to see if I was going
to be a grown woman about things and continue to
chat with him, or if I was going to run
away from something that could be so good for both
of us. Even though he and my sister dated fifteen
(01:32):
years ago, I still stopped communicating with him. I told
my sister what had happened and exactly how it went down.
My sister told me to go ahead and talk to
the guy. I told her that I could not date
the same guy she dated. She told me that I
should at least see where things would go with this guy.
I do miss talking to him, but I'm still skeptical.
(01:55):
What do you think could her X be my next?
Please help? Yeah? Mmmm, it's right. Um, you know there
is such thing as a girlfriend code. Um, all women
know this. It's an unwritten, unspoken rule where friends and
sisters and things. You know. You don't date your your
(02:18):
friends or your sisters exes. It's just not something you do.
You just don't do it. It's it's weird. I'm a
little torn here because your sister doesn't seem to adhere
to the girlfriend code. She's a rare breed among women
because most women would would not want you to go
anywhere near their ex husband, ex boyfriend, any of that. Um,
(02:43):
So it's interesting that she said you should hang in
there and see where this date goes. It's also interesting
that her ex is onto you and knew who you
were and wanted to talk to you and was kind
of pursuing you and and things like that. That's interesting.
So maybe he was he liked you, you know, the
(03:05):
entire time, which is kind of crazy if he was
dating your sister. Yeah it was fifteen years ago. Yes,
it was fifteen years ago. There's still that girlfriend code
out there. Now. If you do date this guy and
it doesn't work out, are you and your sister still
gonna be tight and cool and everything, or you know,
is she gonna start acting funny, you know, feeling some
(03:26):
kind of way about this. It doesn't seem like it
in this letter. But people change, especially if you and
her ex get really tight and you know, you guys
marry or something like that could happen. So, I don't know,
this is a tough one. I don't know if I
would do this, even if I did have my sister's blessing. Steve,
I don't care for this letter because it don't really
(03:51):
mean nothing. Could her actually be my next thing? You're
on line talking to this dude sitting out the thing
about this girl, I'm a little concerned about it because
you know, she's a thirty your own female and she
likes dating older gentleman. But maybe she just wants because
she ain't. She ain't really says she's looking for nothing.
I liked dating older gentleman. I'm open to online dating.
(04:15):
I met some nice men on Facebook, so I look
at me as profiles and meet him that way. You know,
that's she just seems to be up and it ain't
nothing wrong with him. Maybe that's your life. She's just
a serial data to me, so trying to help her
get hooked up don't really seem to be the objective
in this letter. A handsome man in another city called
(04:38):
my eye. Just send him a message. We chatted back
and forth, found out that we have a lot incoming,
even though he's twelve years older than me. When we
first started video chatting, I thought he looked familiar. We
from the same city, so I just figured out our
pass crossed somewhere in the pass after we did our
video chats for about a month. I mentioned that he
(04:58):
looked familiar to you, and you didn't place it. Then
he told me to hang out and his nickname is
my face dropped and I got quiet, So he said,
have you finally figured out who I am? And I
knew exactly who he is. He was my sister's ex boyfriend.
Now the dude knew who you were right away, but
(05:19):
he wanted to see how long this game did he
go to pimp move though. He wanted to see if
I was gonna be a grown woman about things and
continue to chat with him, or if I was gonna
run away from something that could be so good for
both of us. Oh, dog, you for real, lady, you
don't know what game is, because if you don't think
(05:40):
that's a game, lie, I just wanted to see if
you was gonna be a grown woman about things. See
here's what's happening. He's an older man. Your sister was older.
Fifteen years ago, you was what how was you for
twenty three twenty three? Sister was what maybe thirty four
(06:06):
thirty five something like that. They was probably around the
same age. I was gonna see if you was gonna
be a grown woman about things and continue to chat
me or run away from something that could be good
for both of us? What was gonna be good for
both of y'all? He don't want really nothing from you
but one thing, because you ain't told him you want
(06:27):
nothing from him but one thing? You know why? Because
you were serial data. This just fitting to be another
nice man you've met on Facebook, then slept with another relationship,
and he gonna leave you to y'all, won't more? Will
not come back? Yeah? Okay, okay, all right? A little
(06:52):
commercials in the super Bowl too, Yeah, a little. But
I'm let me tell you this what well, well, when
we come back up and tell you the rest of it.
But this is a setup. This is going nowhere. It
has no intentions. But aren't you shocked at the sister
though hers? Well, I'm gonna get to that so I
get back. I'm gonna tell you why too, All right? Subjects?
Could her X be my next? Wow? Wow? Yeah? Well,
(07:19):
like I said in the letter, this woman is online
just dating people randomly. Look like a seal dated to
me ends up meeting this gown online that used to
date her sister. It took her month or so to
figure it out, but finally she thought she recognized him.
Then when he said she asked him his nickname, she
(07:40):
said that and where he lives. She got quiet. He said,
have you finally figured out who I am? And she
said yes. He said, I knew who you were from
the beginning, but I wanted to see if you was
gonna be a grown woman about things and continue to
chat with me, or if you was gonna run away
from something that could be so good for both of us.
(08:04):
Boy in the world that says game recognized game, I
recognized game. This is a cold line he didn't used
on you. First he challenged you to be grown up.
Then he baited you with something that could be so
good for the both of us. But since you ain't
(08:27):
never established what you really want with none of these men,
because you are serial daily data and you like dating
older men, so you're just like dating. So now he
figured it's gonna be another day he gonna hit it
and be gone. Wow. Now, you said, even though he
and my sister dated fifteen years ago, I still stopped
(08:48):
communicating with him. I told my sister what had happened.
So you and your sister got good relationship and exactly
how I went down. My sister told me to go
ahead and talk to the guy. I told her I
couldn't date the same guy she dated. She told me
I should at least see where things are gonna go
with this guy because she sister know you crazy, Your
(09:09):
sister know you're a seal data and your sister hoping
something just stick for you. Because your sister had moved on,
she got her life. It's probably a nice little bow
and everything, but she wants you to have a great life.
So she told you to go ahead. Then here you go,
because you're going so you just waiting on me, and
surely give you to go ahead because this is what
you say. I do miss talking to you, ye, but
(09:32):
I'm still skeptical. What's your skeptical about? What do you think?
Could her ex be my next It's going to be
according to you, your sister and gave you the green
Like you just said, you do miss talking to him,
and he didn't challenge you. This could be something good
for the both of us, But he ain't said what
good he talking about? Do this man? Won't you? Or
(09:53):
do he just wants something from you? If you take
your time, you can figure out the answer to them
two questions. If you're gonna rush back in and just
gonna let him do what he want to do, then
you're not gonna know. And that's what I'm saying to you. Now,
here's some danger to this right here. I can't imagine
this happening with me and my brother. I got an
(10:17):
older brother. I'm dating some woman he used to date.
And I called my brother and go, hey, bro, I'm
dating this good ah man, go ahead. See But now
suppose my brother called me up every nine then to
check on me, how me and her doing. But he
got advice with it though, Hey man, be careful. You
(10:39):
know she don't like chicken. I don't like chicken. She
don't like chicken. You know, just a little step, little
stuff like that. Hey man, let me tell you, so,
don't mess why I get yourself slap. I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, don't mess why I get your self slap?
(11:01):
Oh she's slapping people. Damn, she getting mad? Bust your
upside your damn hen Okay, just calling with all kind
of rights, a little bro boy. You wait till she
do this to you? What? Yeah, that's what happened. Little
(11:26):
it's too much. Yeah, knock it down, a little bro,
knock it down. Represent See how you see how you
stack up a dog ass car? Is she like big bro?
A little bro? Back called me back man, I don't
get it. I don't get it. I don't understand it.
(11:49):
I couldn't do it. But you know you're not me.
You like dating old man and you're serial dating. You
don't want nothing, so you're gonna probably end up seeing him.
You know. So her sister either really loves her really
hates her. I can't figure out which one. Go ahead,
(12:12):
you know, trying everything going over there. I told you
it's a reason I ain't win him going over there
and see for yourself. Yeah it could be that, it
really really could, you know. But he was just laying
back waiting for her to catch on, you know. So
you're right about the part with the game and everything,
(12:33):
you know, waiting for my nickname Goosey, Yeah, Goosey Goosey,
you know, kind of like goose man. You know the
you know, the Virginia governor h oh oh, that nickname.
Didn't call him goose They called me goose says that
(12:53):
was a stretch where we got it. Yeah, I know
it was an obscure joke. Yeah, I really, yeah, you
got it. You know when you own the radio, sometimes
they don't all work. You know, they can't all make
it over the wall. We understand some mom's out. Most
of them do. Yeah, but some mom's out and that
was out. You hit the ball and they catch it
(13:15):
at second base. Ain't nobody had to even jump? So
what should we tell her to not do this? I mean,
it only makes sense not to do it. To do it,
but you know that's what you want to do. Go ahead, Yeah,
I mean, of all the guys. So he's nothing gonna
do it? Do it? Well? What you don't want it?
(13:37):
He don't do it? Do it well, I don't don't
want what ja your sister was better? You don't get
evet back in him. This is not a good look.
(13:59):
Not a good look. Yeah. Yeah, it could end badly.
Yeah all right, Well, if that's all we have, just
don't do it. Don't day someone your sisters dated? Yeah
all right, guys, we gotta get out of here. Leave
your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at Steve
Harvey f M. You're listening to the Steven Show.
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