June 24, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been dating a guy for close to three years and I need some advice on a major issue I’m having with him. I love this man and he is a great guy. He loves me, too, and we have been talking about marriage. But here’s my issue… I can not stand going to his house because it is always a mess. When we spend quality time together, we’re always at my house and I have to encourage him to pick up after himself and not eat all over my house. He and his teenage son live like slobs and I have told him that I don’t feel comfortable at his house............................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter,
and if you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
FM and click submit Strawberry a Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, buckle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Here.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
All right, subject, get the funk out my face. Dear
Stephen Shirley, I've been dating a guy for close to
three years and I need some advice on a major
issue I'm having with him. I love this man and
he is a great guy. He loves me too, and
we have been talking about marriage. But here's my issue.
(00:45):
I cannot stand going to his house because it is
always a mess. When we spend quality time together. We're
always at my house and I have to encourage him
to pick up after himself and not eat all over
my house. He and his teenage son live like slobs,
and I have told him that I don't feel comfortable
(01:06):
at his house. There are clothes and shoes all over
the place, old food containers in the kitchen and living room,
empty bottles and mail throwne everywhere, and I won't even
mention the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
As you can imagine, there is also a very bad,
stuffy odor in the house too. When we first met,
I asked him if he needed me to help him
hire a cleaning service to come in and help out.
He said he was ashamed and he would do it himself.
But over time nothing's changed and it's gotten worse, not better.
(01:41):
Now the worst part is that he's starting to smell
like his house.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Don't get me.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Wrong, He's never had an issue with hygiene, but his
clothes have started looking dirty and smelling funky, just like
his house. I've been making up excuses to avoid intimacy
with him because I'm totally turned off by the smell.
Intimacy is a big part of any great relationship. So
how can I get How can I get this man
(02:07):
to see that his filth and funk are pushing me away?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Please help? This is a bad situation.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is a funky, nasty situation to be and yeah,
low down deal right hygiene, I mean this is a
big deal breaker, and any relationship this is a big
deal breaker. Getting past this, I mean going to someone's
house that's messy. Maybe have you know, a few clothes
thrown around or something like that.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Messy and nasty or two different things.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Okay, you can pick up some clothes and hang those up,
and you know your house is still clean and everything,
but being nasty with food containers in the bathrooms being
a mess and it having an odor, and then you
having an odor because you live there.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That is a mess. And you make him sound.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Like he's just a couple of you know, a couple
of boxes or something away from being a hoarder. That's
kind of what you make it sound like. And if
you watch that show Hoarders, they say that hoarding is mental,
it's a mental condition. I say, you, on your own,
do what you suggested to him, get him some help
to clean up his house. That's one thing I mean,
(03:21):
this is a message you don't want to be a
part of it. And I understand that you guys are
talking marriage. If he's like this, now, you guys aren't married,
you go to his house. Can you only imagine if
you marry this guy and he starts doing this in
your house, you guys will be divorced very quickly. I'm sure,
so he needs help. His son is needs some help
because he's a slob, like you say, he needs someone
(03:45):
to come in on a consistent basis and keep this
house clean. And you need to make sure that he's
doing the same with himself with his personal hygiene. All right,
If that doesn't help the situation, you're gonna have to
say thing and say something, and you're probably gonna have
to leave because this is this is a deal breaker.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Hygiene, nastiness, This is a deal breaker as far as
I'm concerned, Steve.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
This letter is real simple as cutting drive not probably
not gonna have to take two breaks to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Okay, Okay, keep it funk.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Now here's a deal. Shirley mentioned hoarding and how it's mental.
This is not a mental problem. This is a physical problem.
Stink is not mental. Stink is physical, and stink produces
(04:44):
physical reactions. WHOA Lord, that ain't mental? That's physical? You
got the wrong? Whoa you gotta do it? Whoa lord?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Really?
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Tall man?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Hell?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What's happening in him? That's not mental? This is a
physical problem you have it. Smell is physical. You had
to inhale, your nostrils, got to start burning. That's physical.
I water it. It's physical things that happen when you
(05:29):
run into a smell, sharpness of breath. That's physical. So
we're not gonna sit up and act like him and
his nast ass son has gotten mental problems. It's physical.
Now he's starting to smell like his house. I had
a part in the smell just like his house. You
(05:51):
know his house smell like.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh can we say it on the radio.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, because it didn't stink. It was
just strange his house smell like. And he smelled like
hot dog water. You know, hot dog water don't stink,
but it's just straight.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah, that's a distinct odor.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, that's how he smelled like hot dog water.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I want to bring and and you know his house
smell like when we went over there, we was always saying,
man is y'all born and hot dog? And there never was,
and then never was. They walk sat time we walk in, man,
man man, as we finished, hell hot dog? Well, no,
we have no hot dog matter. What was that I smell?
(06:36):
We ain't cooking? Well, somebody has some hot dogs in here.
Just be in his house?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
All all right, we'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three after the hour subject, get
the funk out my face.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Right after this, you're listening.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Morning show?
Speaker 4 (06:55):
All right, Steve let threecap today's strawberry letter.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
This is real simple, ain't no read? Your house stink?
She with a man who house steink her teenage son,
he stink. They starting to smell like the house. Now
I want the fellas to join in here and right down.
Your house smell like filling the blank. Now I kicked
(07:19):
it off with hot dog water. What other smells does
a house smell?
Speaker 6 (07:28):
Your house smell like gorilla butt, Julia, how.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Do you follow that?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Your house smell like under all. Oh that's your house
smell like two skunks in the summer. That's hot. See
that's hot funk right there.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Your house smell like hot garbage, garbage when it's high.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
God, your house smell like wet feet that's been hiking.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Wait a minute, feet that's been.
Speaker 7 (08:20):
I don't want to say this, but your house smelled
like it's some four milk somewhere.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, your house smelled like y'all didn't put the garbage
at three weeks straight.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
That's what it smelled.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
We already forgot to do that. Before three weeks, not three.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Your house smelled like a bag of warm dog food,
not hot. Just won't you know when you open up
that bag of dog food and it don't really smell
good to you, but your dog over there be going crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, okay, I had one and we've all experienced it.
Come on, you go lay down on the counch and
your grandmama been sitting there for a long time and
you have to jump up because it's long.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Yeah, your house smelled like three weeks spoiled.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Call it green. That's thanky right there.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
He hockey, I got the worst.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, how about this here? Your house smell like y'all
just took some hockey and put it in the mic. Away,
put that on thirty that's you know. Oh you know
what hockey? Turned it on? Turn it on thirty seconds.
Oh god, got it hot.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Oh I'm like, bar what come on?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
See?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Yeah, no, house smelled like an empty chitling bucket.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's I have a week jumping is.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Because I'm the only one that knows what to smell like.
Because I have to shave. This is mama's back hair,
that's what it smell.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Well, George Waller is gonna jump on you one day
when you least expected.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
Oh, come on, No, house smell like a huge baby
diaper left in a hot car.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
When you open that door.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
A man, when the twins was little, I did that
one time. God though, God, Man, you left the diaper
in the car. See, I thought I thought my little
girls was mean, said man, I haven't had made twin
girls back then. It is grown ass from me with
(10:53):
a little bunnet so far just to see I didn't
have daughters. I have two men in back.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Wrong, that's wrong.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It is hot too. This house smell like gorilla toe jam.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Yeah that right there, smell it. Call us smell it.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
No, Sureley and I our face has just been frown Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No, I have a week stime.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Your mama house, Your mama house smelled like they can
the fish grease on the spell the whole house.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
How did his mama get in it?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I don't know, Miss George Wallace. I just said your
mama house.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
You say, George Wallers, just you know I didn't do that.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Your house, I mean, your house smell like an empty
sardine can that you forgot and it's back behind the
trash can in the.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Thing and that thing that is substanct.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
You can't and you can't find it.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You can't.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Where is that coming from?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Coming from?
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:09):
I walked to the house before what time I walked in?
I said, hey man, this house smelled like hot sex.
I'm not like somebody. Then where are they doing it?
Speaker 5 (12:22):
What that funk?
Speaker 6 (12:23):
That little twins?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
This house smelled like goat cheese and monkey ass? What
is that? Hey man? House?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Yeah, that's nasty.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
That'sn't making me sick.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Time yet?
Speaker 5 (12:41):
No, we got more.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
You got about a minute.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Come on, let's go y'all's house. Y'all's house smells just
like y'all's breath. That's wrong. That's why I don't nobody
y'all when they talking to.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Hey, I came in here. This house smelled like some
small pudding scaring me. You scaring me.
Speaker 6 (13:06):
I don't be proud on you.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I went over and I came back.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You can email us or instagram us your thoughts on
Today's Strawberry Letter, guys and Steve Harvey f M.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
You're listening Harvey Morning Show.
All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter,
and if you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
FM and click submit Strawberry a Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, buckle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Here.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
All right, subject, get the funk out my face. Dear
Stephen Shirley, I've been dating a guy for close to
three years and I need some advice on a major
issue I'm having with him. I love this man and
he is a great guy. He loves me too, and
we have been talking about marriage. But here's my issue.
(00:45):
I cannot stand going to his house because it is
always a mess. When we spend quality time together. We're
always at my house and I have to encourage him
to pick up after himself and not eat all over
my house. He and his teenage son live like slobs,
and I have told him that I don't feel comfortable
(01:06):
at his house. There are clothes and shoes all over
the place, old food containers in the kitchen and living room,
empty bottles and mail throwne everywhere, and I won't even
mention the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
As you can imagine, there is also a very bad,
stuffy odor in the house too. When we first met,
I asked him if he needed me to help him
hire a cleaning service to come in and help out.
He said he was ashamed and he would do it himself.
But over time nothing's changed and it's gotten worse, not better.
(01:41):
Now the worst part is that he's starting to smell
like his house.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Don't get me.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Wrong, He's never had an issue with hygiene, but his
clothes have started looking dirty and smelling funky, just like
his house. I've been making up excuses to avoid intimacy
with him because I'm totally turned off by the smell.
Intimacy is a big part of any great relationship. So
how can I get How can I get this man
(02:07):
to see that his filth and funk are pushing me away?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Please help? This is a bad situation.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is a funky, nasty situation to be and yeah,
low down deal right hygiene, I mean this is a
big deal breaker, and any relationship this is a big
deal breaker. Getting past this, I mean going to someone's
house that's messy. Maybe have you know, a few clothes
thrown around or something like that.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Messy and nasty or two different things.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Okay, you can pick up some clothes and hang those up,
and you know your house is still clean and everything,
but being nasty with food containers in the bathrooms being
a mess and it having an odor, and then you
having an odor because you live there.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That is a mess. And you make him sound.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Like he's just a couple of you know, a couple
of boxes or something away from being a hoarder. That's
kind of what you make it sound like. And if
you watch that show Hoarders, they say that hoarding is mental,
it's a mental condition. I say, you, on your own,
do what you suggested to him, get him some help
to clean up his house. That's one thing I mean,
(03:21):
this is a message you don't want to be a
part of it. And I understand that you guys are
talking marriage. If he's like this, now, you guys aren't married,
you go to his house. Can you only imagine if
you marry this guy and he starts doing this in
your house, you guys will be divorced very quickly. I'm sure,
so he needs help. His son is needs some help
because he's a slob, like you say, he needs someone
(03:45):
to come in on a consistent basis and keep this
house clean. And you need to make sure that he's
doing the same with himself with his personal hygiene. All right,
If that doesn't help the situation, you're gonna have to
say thing and say something, and you're probably gonna have
to leave because this is this is a deal breaker.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Hygiene, nastiness, This is a deal breaker as far as
I'm concerned, Steve.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
This letter is real simple as cutting drive not probably
not gonna have to take two breaks to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Okay, Okay, keep it funk.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Now here's a deal. Shirley mentioned hoarding and how it's mental.
This is not a mental problem. This is a physical problem.
Stink is not mental. Stink is physical, and stink produces
(04:44):
physical reactions. WHOA Lord, that ain't mental? That's physical? You
got the wrong? Whoa you gotta do it? Whoa lord?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Really?
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Tall man?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Hell?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What's happening in him? That's not mental? This is a
physical problem you have it. Smell is physical. You had
to inhale, your nostrils, got to start burning. That's physical.
I water it. It's physical things that happen when you
(05:29):
run into a smell, sharpness of breath. That's physical. So
we're not gonna sit up and act like him and
his nast ass son has gotten mental problems. It's physical.
Now he's starting to smell like his house. I had
a part in the smell just like his house. You
(05:51):
know his house smell like.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh can we say it on the radio.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, because it didn't stink. It was
just strange his house smell like. And he smelled like
hot dog water. You know, hot dog water don't stink,
but it's just straight.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah, that's a distinct odor.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, that's how he smelled like hot dog water.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I want to bring and and you know his house
smell like when we went over there, we was always saying,
man is y'all born and hot dog? And there never was,
and then never was. They walk sat time we walk in, man,
man man, as we finished, hell hot dog? Well, no,
we have no hot dog matter. What was that I smell?
(06:36):
We ain't cooking? Well, somebody has some hot dogs in here.
Just be in his house?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
All all right, we'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three after the hour subject, get
the funk out my face.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Right after this, you're listening.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Morning show?
Speaker 4 (06:55):
All right, Steve let threecap today's strawberry letter.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
This is real simple, ain't no read? Your house stink?
She with a man who house steink her teenage son,
he stink. They starting to smell like the house. Now
I want the fellas to join in here and right down.
Your house smell like filling the blank. Now I kicked
(07:19):
it off with hot dog water. What other smells does
a house smell?
Speaker 6 (07:28):
Your house smell like gorilla butt, Julia, how.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Do you follow that?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Your house smell like under all. Oh that's your house
smell like two skunks in the summer. That's hot. See
that's hot funk right there.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Your house smell like hot garbage, garbage when it's high.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
God, your house smell like wet feet that's been hiking.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Wait a minute, feet that's been.
Speaker 7 (08:20):
I don't want to say this, but your house smelled
like it's some four milk somewhere.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, your house smelled like y'all didn't put the garbage
at three weeks straight.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
That's what it smelled.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
We already forgot to do that. Before three weeks, not three.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Your house smelled like a bag of warm dog food,
not hot. Just won't you know when you open up
that bag of dog food and it don't really smell
good to you, but your dog over there be going crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, okay, I had one and we've all experienced it.
Come on, you go lay down on the counch and
your grandmama been sitting there for a long time and
you have to jump up because it's long.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Yeah, your house smelled like three weeks spoiled.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Call it green. That's thanky right there.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
He hockey, I got the worst.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, how about this here? Your house smell like y'all
just took some hockey and put it in the mic. Away,
put that on thirty that's you know. Oh you know
what hockey? Turned it on? Turn it on thirty seconds.
Oh god, got it hot.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Oh I'm like, bar what come on?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
See?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Yeah, no, house smelled like an empty chitling bucket.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's I have a week jumping is.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Because I'm the only one that knows what to smell like.
Because I have to shave. This is mama's back hair,
that's what it smell.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Well, George Waller is gonna jump on you one day
when you least expected.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
Oh, come on, No, house smell like a huge baby
diaper left in a hot car.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
When you open that door.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
A man, when the twins was little, I did that
one time. God though, God, Man, you left the diaper
in the car. See, I thought I thought my little
girls was mean, said man, I haven't had made twin
girls back then. It is grown ass from me with
(10:53):
a little bunnet so far just to see I didn't
have daughters. I have two men in back.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Wrong, that's wrong.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It is hot too. This house smell like gorilla toe jam.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Yeah that right there, smell it. Call us smell it.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
No, Sureley and I our face has just been frown Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No, I have a week stime.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Your mama house, Your mama house smelled like they can
the fish grease on the spell the whole house.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
How did his mama get in it?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I don't know, Miss George Wallace. I just said your
mama house.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
You say, George Wallers, just you know I didn't do that.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Your house, I mean, your house smell like an empty
sardine can that you forgot and it's back behind the
trash can in the.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Thing and that thing that is substanct.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
You can't and you can't find it.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You can't.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Where is that coming from?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Coming from?
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:09):
I walked to the house before what time I walked in?
I said, hey man, this house smelled like hot sex.
I'm not like somebody. Then where are they doing it?
Speaker 5 (12:22):
What that funk?
Speaker 6 (12:23):
That little twins?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
This house smelled like goat cheese and monkey ass? What
is that? Hey man? House?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Yeah, that's nasty.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
That'sn't making me sick.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Time yet?
Speaker 5 (12:41):
No, we got more.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
You got about a minute.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Come on, let's go y'all's house. Y'all's house smells just
like y'all's breath. That's wrong. That's why I don't nobody
y'all when they talking to.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Hey, I came in here. This house smelled like some
small pudding scaring me. You scaring me.
Speaker 6 (13:06):
I don't be proud on you.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I went over and I came back.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You can email us or instagram us your thoughts on
Today's Strawberry Letter, guys and Steve Harvey f M.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
You're listening Harvey Morning Show.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!