He Can't Talk Without Touching Me

Dear Steve and Shirley. I met a man online and he's a decent guy with a good job and a great set of friends. We've gone on double dates with my friends and his friends, and I did that because that's how you get to really know a person. The drawback of it is that my friends also get to point out the bad things about my man. We had a double date with my best friend and her man and my best friend.  He said that it's too soon for my man to be as hands on as he is, meaning he can't talk without touching me. She said he was going to start pressuring me for sex too soon. She was spot on with that one, so I couldn't be mad at her...............

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letters is STEVEARVFM dot com. By
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it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours, So buckle up and hold on tight.
Get ready. Here it is Strawberry Letters.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you, nephew. Subject he can't talk without touching me.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I met a man online and he's
a decent guy with a good job and a great
set of friends. We've gone on double dates with my
friends and his friends, and I did that because that's
how you get to really know a person. The drawback
of it is that my friends also get to point

(00:48):
out the bad things about my man. We had a
double date with my best friend and her man and
my best He said that it's too soon for my
man to be as hands on as he is, meaning
he can't talk without touching me. She said he was
going to start pressuring me for sex too soon. She
was spot on with that one, so I couldn't be
mad at her. The second date was with my cousin

(01:10):
and her husband, and my cousin's husband that the guy
shouldn't be grabbing my butt in public like that because
it's tasteless. I did not care what he said, because
I know he's not a romantic type of guy from
what my cousin has said about him. But when I'm
alone with my new man and in public, he really
can't talk without putting his hands on my body. In

(01:31):
the car, he wants to hold my hand and drive
with his left hand. He has his hand on my
thigh when we're having dinner, and if we're at a
bar having a drink, he will slide my chair right
up beside him so he can rub my shoulder or
have his hand in various places on my body. We
met seven weeks ago and we haven't been intimate, but

(01:52):
like my bestie said, he's already itching to have sex.
The final straw for me was when he put his
hand between my legs and a rest and asked if
he could have it. I asked what it was. It's
a complete and utter turn off. Do I throw away
the man for this one? Flaw or is this something
we can work on. He doesn't do well with subtle hints. Oh,

(02:14):
he's a little out of control doing that in public
and at a restaurant. But the most important thing here
is what you're comfortable with, and that's it, that's all.
If you don't want this man that you've only been
dating for seven weeks to have his hands all over you,
and you shouldn't, why don't you say something to him?

(02:34):
Why don't you tell him to stop? Move his hands away?
It is very disrespectful of him to be touching you
so inappropriately and in front of your friends and family
like that.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
How have you let it go this long?

Speaker 1 (02:47):
That's my question to you. If you don't want him
to do it to you, then don't let him do
it to you. You've got to be realistic, though. I mean,
he's a man who is obviously attracted to you. I'm
sure he feels seven weeks is a long time on
his calendar. He's ready to get busy, but clearly you're
not because you're still trying to get to know him.

(03:10):
But you got to remember, I mean, it's simple. This
is your body, and if you're not slapping stopping him
or slapping him, and you're not saying anything about his
touching you. He's not gonna stop. You gotta tell him
if that's what you want. If he leaves because you
spoke up for yourself, then let him go. If he stays,
tell him you don't want him touching you like that anymore.

(03:31):
You want to get to know him, and you guys
need to slow down.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Steve, Oh, just letter, it's so common sense.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It's just.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Sureley's absolutely correcting what she said. This let us it's
really what you want. But you're not conveying this to
the man. So what you want him to do? Because
right now this do he don't think you do it
nothing wrong, but you think the man is wrong. And
now I'm gonna tell you where I'm gonna tell you. Well,
let me show you a couple of things.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Just let him. You met this man online.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
He's a decent guy, got a good job, grace, set
of friends who go on double dates with friends and
his friends, my friends and his friends. I did that
because that's how you get to really know a person. Okay,
that's a good idea, because you got to see how
he interacts with other people. Other people's opinion of him,
his opinion of your friends that said good death. The
drawback is that my friends also get to point out

(04:31):
the bad things about my man. Well didn't you just say,
that's why you went out with him, so you can
get to know him, and sometimes you can get Your
friend's opinions can matter, but they shouldn't, but they can
depend on who the friend is. See, we had a
double date with my best friend and her man and

(04:51):
my best He said that it's too soon for my
man to be hands on as he is, meaning he
can't talk without touching me. She said he was gonna
start pressing me for sex too soon. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
because why because that's what we do. That's why he
dating you. He dating you to have sex. That's why

(05:16):
all men date you. Is this a secret? And is
this a new book? All men date you because they
want to have sex with you. I have a shocker
for you. Y'all dating men because y'all want to have

(05:38):
sex with them? That tada, yeah, take them frowns off
y'all's face on this zoom. Yeah, that's why you date men. Now,
y'all not gonna out with lyst say that because you
want some other things too, of course, but at the
bottom line, you know what it's about. Stop, Come on, now,

(06:03):
how we gonna have a family. I want to get
married one day. I want to have a family. We
know what we're gonna have to do. Then let's get
you doing it.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
So what this is all about?

Speaker 3 (06:20):
She was spot on with that when her girlfriend he
was gonna pressure me to have sex?

Speaker 2 (06:24):
That ain't she brilliant? So I couldn't be mad with her.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
The second day was with my cousin and her husband said,
her husband said, the guy shouldn't be grabbing my buddy
in public like that because it's tasted.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That is tasteless. Grab hang out, but in front of people,
that's tasteless.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
It is Hang on, Steve. We'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour of today's Strawberry letter, subject he can't talk without
touching me. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is he can't
talk without touching me?

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, no, lady, And you've been out with your friends
with him and everything and they done told you he's
a little touching too much because he's gonna press you
for sex.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
She was right about that.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Duh, Yeah, he is gonna ask you for sex eventually.
I think you know that. That's why both y'all was online.
You get online so you can find a relationship. But
in order to be in a relationship, you're going to.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Have to relate. Why are you feeling like you own
a ship.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
And it rocks you online? To get into a relationship, Okay,
to be in a relationship, you have to have a
relate shun with someone, and it's got to feel like

(07:58):
y'all own a ship because this ship rocks back and forth.
That's what the relationship is. Two people that can relate
to each other till it gets so good y'all start
rocking back and forth. That's the relationships.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Wow, oh my god, we can't hu come. We can't
see that. Huh?

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Now?

Speaker 2 (08:23):
What the hell?

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Now? Your girlfriend talking about he two hands on? He
gonna want to have sex soon? Yes he is, Yeah,
he gonna want.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
To not soon now been seven weeks.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
She was spot on with that, so I couldn't be
mad at her. The second day, my cousband and her
husband and cousin husband said the guy shouldn't be grabbing
my buddy in public like that because it's tasteless. That's true.
Tasteless is true. But your other cousin though telling you
he gonna press you for sex. That's what he supposed
to do. Why is this her.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Damn bus and stuff?

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Didn't her husband press her for sex one day? Didn't
she have it? I did not care what he said
because I know he's not a romantic type of a guy. Okay,
but you did care what the other lady said, what
my cousin has said. But when I'm alone with my
new man and in public, he really can't talk without
putting his hands on my body. In the car, he

(09:17):
want to hold my hand to drive with the left hand.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Maybe it ain't just your cousins husbands that ain't romantic.
Maybe you ain't romantic. See a man want to hold
your hand while he driving, dawn, most women go wild.
That is so nice. He wants to hold my hand
while he driving? Don't what as you touching me?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Folk? He has his hand on my thigh. Who we
have in dinner?

Speaker 3 (09:41):
And if we had a bar having a drink, he
would slide my chair right up next to him so
he could rub my shoulder or have his hands in
various places on my body. Really, we met seven weeks
ago and we haven't been intimate. But like my bestie said,
he's already itching to half six already. Now, where'd you?
You just come to you after seven weeks? He was

(10:05):
ready for that long time ago. Now I ad mind
you for waiting and trying to get to know the
man kind of pushes you towards that ninety day rule
I created, and it makes a little bit of sense.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
But at seven weeks he's pressing. He's pressing now.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
The final straw for me was when he put his
hand between my legs and the restaurant. Wait, my hold
of the bay. There's been a whole lot of touching
going on for seven weeks. Why you're still going out
with him? If this is so.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Repulsive, If this touching, you're seven weeks and touching.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Now, he'd have been on your thigh, he'd have been
on your shoulders, he'd been all up in your hair.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
He'dn't been on your kneecap, he'dn't had your hand when
he driving.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Now, y'all in the restaurant. Now you're talking about the
final straw. He don't put his hands between your legs.
We have to promise land. Now we're at the Holy Grail.
Were in front of the Grand Canyon.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
You have made your points.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Right there at Niagara Falls, were Victoria Lake. We are
Empire State. We're one of the seven Wonders of the world.
That's number eight right there, and all of y'all have
one the eighth wonders of the world. And I'll be
damned if it ain't one of the most wonderful wonders
I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
I've been to the Grand Canyon. He ain't got nothing.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
That Grand Canyon ain't got nothing on that thing, nothing nothing.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
I've been to Niagara Falls.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I'd rather be standing in front of a fine woman
than to be a Naga Falls. I'm telling you right now,
it ain't all that I've seen it. Empire State. I've
been to Victoria Lakes. I've been the only place. Ain't
nothing like standing.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Right there in.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Front of it.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
I'm just telling you it's something I really do well.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
I don't think you do. I'm painting this picture. No,
I only got a many left, so let me go
and get.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
You this lit.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
He put his hand between my leg and the restaurant
and ask if he could have it.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
I asked what it was?

Speaker 3 (12:15):
You know?

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Good?

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Hell, well, what it is? What is your playing stupid fault?
I'm sick of your little dumb ass letter.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
What is it? You know exactly what it is? You
know what he doing? What is it? You mean? What
is it? It's why we here, It's why damn dinner.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
It's why I'm driving, It's why rave today, It's why
I spend money on this suit, It's why.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I bought this damn ball. Look, it's the reason that
the world go round. What do you mean? What do
you mean? What is it? You know what it is?

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Lead your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram. Steve
Harvey f them and check us out on the Strawberry
Letter podcast. It's free on the iHeartRadio app, where free
never sounded so good. Coming up next day, Junior and
Sports Talk right after this. Yeh, you're listening to The

(13:17):
Harvey Morning Show.