December 18, 2019 • 11 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I prayed and asked God to send me a great man. It took ten long years but my prayers were answered and I got an amazing man. We're getting married this month but there's just one problem. I was taught that you should watch how a man loves and treats his mother because it will show you what kind of man he is. Well, I recently learned that my fiance does not respect his mother at all............
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it's time for the letter. If you want advice,
If you want advice on your relationship, on your dating situation,
on work, on parenting, on sex, and more, submit your
Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit
Strawberry Letter. Buckle up, hold on tight, We got it
(00:21):
for you. Here. It is the straw Berry Letter. Whoa
subject He cursed his own mama out. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I prayed and asked God to send me a great man.
It took ten long years, but my prayers were answered
and I got an amazing man. We're getting married this month.
But there's just one problem. I was taught that you
(00:42):
should watch how a man loves and treats his mother
because it will show you what kind of man he is. Well,
I recently learned that my fiance does not respect his
mother at all. We traveled to Maryland to visit his mom,
and it was the worst visit ever. His mother was
drinking hennessy from the time we got there still three
days later when she kicked me out of the house. Yes,
(01:06):
she kicked me out. When we first got there. She
complained that I was on my cell phone too much.
Because I was letting my family know we had made
it safely. Then she fussed about me taking a shower
at night, and in the morning she told me she
told me to ask permission to take additional baths in
her house. By the third day, she went off of
(01:27):
me for watching a live stream of my church service
back home because we missed church that day. She yelled
for me to turn that mess off or get out
of her house. That was the final straw for my fiance.
He lost it and went off on his mother, calling
her an old, hateful, drunk be I was in shock
(01:48):
and told him that was uncalled for. He was very
angry and told me to get my things so we
could leave. I told him that he was wrong. He
said that his mother was wrong. We left and that
was it. He has spoken to his mom and over
a month now, I'm wondering if this is some kind
of character flaw he has. Will he treat me the
same way once we're married or was he just protecting me? Well,
(02:12):
this is definitely the opposite of a mama's boy, Okay,
because you know when you when you know. I've heard
a lot of women say that that you watch how
a man treats his mom, and then that'll tell you, you
you know, if he'll treat you that way. Well, sometimes
that works the opposite, sometimes they become mama's boys. But
this is definitely not the case. But to answer your question,
(02:34):
I do think perhaps he was trying to be protective
of you, however crazy way he did it. He was
disgusted in his mom's behavior and he showed it. His
mother's obviously an alcoholic and their relationship is in a
very blad place because of it. Now, having said that,
I do agree with you calling her a drunk bee
(02:55):
is out of line, that is uncalled for. I don't
think it was any need for him to be so
dis respectful to her or to her in front of you.
And yes, he just might have some residual issues going
on as a result of her alcoholism being around that,
so you know what, I would just maybe, you know,
(03:16):
make sure that he's okay, get some counseling. I don't
know if you guys have considered marriage counseling or not,
but if he does have issues, they probably will come
out during the marriage, So I definitely suggest some counseling.
I know you're getting married soon, but I wouldn't go
into it without getting some counseling. Steve me personally, I
(03:37):
don't think you have anything to worry about at all,
because I'm gonna tell you why I feel this way.
I have no jokes for this letter. I have something
to say about this letter. And this is not because
of my own mother, because I had what I thought
was the greatest mom in the world, as do. Most
people feel that way about their mother. So this is
not from her experience, but I've watched it from a
(03:58):
distance on several people. Everybody don't get a great mother,
as great as your mother may have been. Everybody ain't
that fortunate. It's mothers that give away babies. It's mother's
that's own drugs while they're pregnant. It's mother's that neglect children.
(04:23):
It's mother's that abuse children. Everybody don't get a great mother.
This boy don't have a great mother. Now, let me
tell you what happened here. Like most boys wanting a
relationship with their mother, most boys will go, hey, listen,
I met the girl in my dreams. Man, I'm gonna
(04:44):
take her to meet my mama. Every boy won't say
mother's approval of the girl. That they're gonna marry. I'm
every dude, I know, man, he just wants that approve mama.
Look what I got, Mama. What you think? So this
boyd the drugged his new fiance to meet his mama.
And you and you, you know, you know, you know what.
You're pretty good. You're watching services at home, multiple baths,
(05:06):
you all you're good. Yea in the morning and at night. Yeah,
now this is crazy. He ain't having it at her house.
You gotta ask first. But she drunk. Now she'd been
drinking hennessy hey from the time that this is not
to drink. You want to drink. From time you get
that to you leave. So now he didn't got frustrated
(05:28):
because he didn't bought the girl of his dreams to
meet his mother. And she did her usual because this
ain't the first time. She didn't disappointed this point showed up.
See he ain't just fired off on the one time.
This has been a build up in this young guy.
(05:49):
And now here she is. See what you don't know, baby,
is she might have missed the graduation, showed out at
a graduation, she didn't clowned him, and then barrassed him
at the family union's before she did making to the
games because she was drinking. She didn't make the pay
teacher meeting on time when she's poke to because she
was drinking. She can call down that message, little job.
(06:13):
She forgot to give a message to him one time
when the boss called the house. You don't know what
distance stacked up. He ain't fired off on his mama
for one time. This woman has disappointed this young man
over and over and over and over. And your visit
was the last straw. The last straw. I hadn't had
(06:38):
enough for you. Every time I try to get your approval,
every time I bring something around you, every time I
need you to be proud of me, you pull this
on me. All right, We'll have part two of Steve's
response coming up at twenty three after the hour you're listening.
Come on, Steve, let's get part two of your response
(07:00):
to today's strawberry letter. He cursed his own mama out.
See now, this girl is worried about this because she
was raised to think that you gotta watch how a
man treat his mama and then to tell you everything
you need to know. Normally that's true, but now listen
to me. Like I said in the beginning, Everybody don't
get a great mother. Neglect, abuse, drugs, drinking. Everybody don't
(07:25):
get a perfect mother. Most of us are fortunate, but
there are those who are not. So now, he didn't
got the imperfect mama. Now, he didn't bought the girl
of his dreams over the show off like most boys do,
most young men, most Mama, Look what I got this
hut I picked up boys. She's so pretty. Lord, she
(07:47):
just as sweet and oh man, thank you mom cool.
I was sure hoping you say that. Now either took
over that and she just she just filed off on
this girl. Three days later, you get kicked out of
the house. You know we first got there, She complained,
I was on my cell phone too much because I
was letting your family know we had made it safely.
(08:07):
Then she first brought me taking a shower at night,
and in the morning she told me to ask permission
to take additional baths in her house. What is an
additional bath? I thought you could take as many as
you want, additional, But it's a new day. By the
third day, she went off on me for watching the
(08:29):
live stream of my church service back home because we
missed church that day. She yelled at me to turn
that mess off and get out of her house. That
was the final straw for my fiance. He lost it,
went off on his mother, calling her old hateful, drunk
b I was in shock and told him that was
uncalled for. He was very angry and told me to
get my thing so we could leave. I told him
(08:50):
he was wrong. He said his mother was wrong. We
left it at that. He ain't spoke to his mom
and over a month now I'm wanting to did some
kind of character flaw he had. Now his character flaw.
It's his mother because she's disappointed this dude many times.
This ain't the first time you old drunk hateful be
is build up from all the other times. He wanted
(09:12):
to say it, but he wasn't man enough. And now
calling your mom out a name don't make you a man.
That's not what I'm saying. But he would. He hadn't
gotten to that point. See, you don't know about the
graduation she missed, or the game she missed, or the
parent teachers things she never went to, or the PTA meeting.
He couldn't be in cubs, guys. He had to come
out of football because she kept missing rehearsals practicing. Don't
(09:35):
you don't know what to build up in. This boy
has been disappointed this woman many times. This ain't the
first time. Now on the day of days when he
really wanted to show her off. Man, because every dude
wanna take his mama, he bring up there and this
is what she do, This is what she'd do. Everybody
don't get to have a good mama. So no, I
(09:55):
think you have met a great man and don't judge
him for that. Everybody make mistakes that he can called
his mom and apologize for calling out a name because
that's wrong. You're gonna do that to your mama. But
after that his mother was wrong. Who makes a person
get out of the house to take it too bad?
Who don't want her son? Man? A woman that watched
(10:16):
church on TV? What drunk mama? What you crazy? Get
your stuff? We leave, all right, Steve, We gotta got
out here. Email at your Instagram? Who isn't Who isn't
that saying church music? So you sitting here running extra
(10:42):
hot water and I'm saying the church. So because you
lost your man, drunk mama, you're talking to your phone,
to your people talk. You made it. Oh you've been
get your look cute, clears out of here, que clean,
(11:03):
clishing up in him. We will diad it broke down
all right. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's
Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget
to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming
up at forty six minutes after the hour. More laughter,
(11:25):
more fun, and more foolishness coming up on the Steve
Harvey Morning Show. You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.
All right, it's time for the letter. If you want advice,
If you want advice on your relationship, on your dating situation,
on work, on parenting, on sex, and more, submit your
Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit
Strawberry Letter. Buckle up, hold on tight, We got it
(00:21):
for you. Here. It is the straw Berry Letter. Whoa
subject He cursed his own mama out. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I prayed and asked God to send me a great man.
It took ten long years, but my prayers were answered
and I got an amazing man. We're getting married this month.
But there's just one problem. I was taught that you
(00:42):
should watch how a man loves and treats his mother
because it will show you what kind of man he is. Well,
I recently learned that my fiance does not respect his
mother at all. We traveled to Maryland to visit his mom,
and it was the worst visit ever. His mother was
drinking hennessy from the time we got there still three
days later when she kicked me out of the house. Yes,
(01:06):
she kicked me out. When we first got there. She
complained that I was on my cell phone too much.
Because I was letting my family know we had made
it safely. Then she fussed about me taking a shower
at night, and in the morning she told me she
told me to ask permission to take additional baths in
her house. By the third day, she went off of
(01:27):
me for watching a live stream of my church service
back home because we missed church that day. She yelled
for me to turn that mess off or get out
of her house. That was the final straw for my fiance.
He lost it and went off on his mother, calling
her an old, hateful, drunk be I was in shock
(01:48):
and told him that was uncalled for. He was very
angry and told me to get my things so we
could leave. I told him that he was wrong. He
said that his mother was wrong. We left and that
was it. He has spoken to his mom and over
a month now, I'm wondering if this is some kind
of character flaw he has. Will he treat me the
same way once we're married or was he just protecting me? Well,
(02:12):
this is definitely the opposite of a mama's boy, Okay,
because you know when you when you know. I've heard
a lot of women say that that you watch how
a man treats his mom, and then that'll tell you, you
you know, if he'll treat you that way. Well, sometimes
that works the opposite, sometimes they become mama's boys. But
this is definitely not the case. But to answer your question,
(02:34):
I do think perhaps he was trying to be protective
of you, however crazy way he did it. He was
disgusted in his mom's behavior and he showed it. His
mother's obviously an alcoholic and their relationship is in a
very blad place because of it. Now, having said that,
I do agree with you calling her a drunk bee
(02:55):
is out of line, that is uncalled for. I don't
think it was any need for him to be so
dis respectful to her or to her in front of you.
And yes, he just might have some residual issues going
on as a result of her alcoholism being around that,
so you know what, I would just maybe, you know,
(03:16):
make sure that he's okay, get some counseling. I don't
know if you guys have considered marriage counseling or not,
but if he does have issues, they probably will come
out during the marriage, So I definitely suggest some counseling.
I know you're getting married soon, but I wouldn't go
into it without getting some counseling. Steve me personally, I
(03:37):
don't think you have anything to worry about at all,
because I'm gonna tell you why I feel this way.
I have no jokes for this letter. I have something
to say about this letter. And this is not because
of my own mother, because I had what I thought
was the greatest mom in the world, as do. Most
people feel that way about their mother. So this is
not from her experience, but I've watched it from a
(03:58):
distance on several people. Everybody don't get a great mother,
as great as your mother may have been. Everybody ain't
that fortunate. It's mothers that give away babies. It's mother's
that's own drugs while they're pregnant. It's mother's that neglect children.
(04:23):
It's mother's that abuse children. Everybody don't get a great mother.
This boy don't have a great mother. Now, let me
tell you what happened here. Like most boys wanting a
relationship with their mother, most boys will go, hey, listen,
I met the girl in my dreams. Man, I'm gonna
(04:44):
take her to meet my mama. Every boy won't say
mother's approval of the girl. That they're gonna marry. I'm
every dude, I know, man, he just wants that approve mama.
Look what I got, Mama. What you think? So this
boyd the drugged his new fiance to meet his mama.
And you and you, you know, you know, you know what.
You're pretty good. You're watching services at home, multiple baths,
(05:06):
you all you're good. Yea in the morning and at night. Yeah,
now this is crazy. He ain't having it at her house.
You gotta ask first. But she drunk. Now she'd been
drinking hennessy hey from the time that this is not
to drink. You want to drink. From time you get
that to you leave. So now he didn't got frustrated
(05:28):
because he didn't bought the girl of his dreams to
meet his mother. And she did her usual because this
ain't the first time. She didn't disappointed this point showed up.
See he ain't just fired off on the one time.
This has been a build up in this young guy.
(05:49):
And now here she is. See what you don't know, baby,
is she might have missed the graduation, showed out at
a graduation, she didn't clowned him, and then barrassed him
at the family union's before she did making to the
games because she was drinking. She didn't make the pay
teacher meeting on time when she's poke to because she
was drinking. She can call down that message, little job.
(06:13):
She forgot to give a message to him one time
when the boss called the house. You don't know what
distance stacked up. He ain't fired off on his mama
for one time. This woman has disappointed this young man
over and over and over and over. And your visit
was the last straw. The last straw. I hadn't had
(06:38):
enough for you. Every time I try to get your approval,
every time I bring something around you, every time I
need you to be proud of me, you pull this
on me. All right, We'll have part two of Steve's
response coming up at twenty three after the hour you're listening.
Come on, Steve, let's get part two of your response
(07:00):
to today's strawberry letter. He cursed his own mama out.
See now, this girl is worried about this because she
was raised to think that you gotta watch how a
man treat his mama and then to tell you everything
you need to know. Normally that's true, but now listen
to me. Like I said in the beginning, Everybody don't
get a great mother. Neglect, abuse, drugs, drinking. Everybody don't
(07:25):
get a perfect mother. Most of us are fortunate, but
there are those who are not. So now, he didn't
got the imperfect mama. Now, he didn't bought the girl
of his dreams over the show off like most boys do,
most young men, most Mama, Look what I got this
hut I picked up boys. She's so pretty. Lord, she
(07:47):
just as sweet and oh man, thank you mom cool.
I was sure hoping you say that. Now either took
over that and she just she just filed off on
this girl. Three days later, you get kicked out of
the house. You know we first got there, She complained,
I was on my cell phone too much because I
was letting your family know we had made it safely.
(08:07):
Then she first brought me taking a shower at night,
and in the morning she told me to ask permission
to take additional baths in her house. What is an
additional bath? I thought you could take as many as
you want, additional, But it's a new day. By the
third day, she went off on me for watching the
(08:29):
live stream of my church service back home because we
missed church that day. She yelled at me to turn
that mess off and get out of her house. That
was the final straw for my fiance. He lost it,
went off on his mother, calling her old hateful, drunk
b I was in shock and told him that was
uncalled for. He was very angry and told me to
get my thing so we could leave. I told him
(08:50):
he was wrong. He said his mother was wrong. We
left it at that. He ain't spoke to his mom
and over a month now I'm wanting to did some
kind of character flaw he had. Now his character flaw.
It's his mother because she's disappointed this dude many times.
This ain't the first time you old drunk hateful be
is build up from all the other times. He wanted
(09:12):
to say it, but he wasn't man enough. And now
calling your mom out a name don't make you a man.
That's not what I'm saying. But he would. He hadn't
gotten to that point. See, you don't know about the
graduation she missed, or the game she missed, or the
parent teachers things she never went to, or the PTA meeting.
He couldn't be in cubs, guys. He had to come
out of football because she kept missing rehearsals practicing. Don't
(09:35):
you don't know what to build up in. This boy
has been disappointed this woman many times. This ain't the
first time. Now on the day of days when he
really wanted to show her off. Man, because every dude
wanna take his mama, he bring up there and this
is what she do, This is what she'd do. Everybody
don't get to have a good mama. So no, I
(09:55):
think you have met a great man and don't judge
him for that. Everybody make mistakes that he can called
his mom and apologize for calling out a name because
that's wrong. You're gonna do that to your mama. But
after that his mother was wrong. Who makes a person
get out of the house to take it too bad?
Who don't want her son? Man? A woman that watched
(10:16):
church on TV? What drunk mama? What you crazy? Get
your stuff? We leave, all right, Steve, We gotta got
out here. Email at your Instagram? Who isn't Who isn't
that saying church music? So you sitting here running extra
(10:42):
hot water and I'm saying the church. So because you
lost your man, drunk mama, you're talking to your phone,
to your people talk. You made it. Oh you've been
get your look cute, clears out of here, que clean,
(11:03):
clishing up in him. We will diad it broke down
all right. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's
Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget
to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming
up at forty six minutes after the hour. More laughter,
(11:25):
more fun, and more foolishness coming up on the Steve
Harvey Morning Show. You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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