June 7, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been married for 12 years and I have had a lot of ups and downs with my husband. He loves the ladies and I had to crack down on the time he spent in the streets so he wouldn’t slip up and cheat on me again. He’s cheated before and he swore that was behind him. We went to counseling and he told the therapist that I would never catch him cheating again. I didn’t realize what he had said until recently. He said that I would never catch him.......................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, today's election day in Mississippi, in California, New Jersey, Iowa,
and in New Mexico. Please vote today. Go to When
We All Vote dot org to get all your voting information.
All right, please, we need your votes today. And as
we switch gears, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
(00:22):
and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to Stevearfm dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. You never know we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're gonna read this one right here, right now,
and you never know, it could be yours. It could
be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got
it for you here it is Strawberry letter, all right.
(00:44):
Thank a nephew. Subject he keeps his toilet trees in
his car. He keeps toilet trees in his car. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I've been married for twelve years and I
have had a lot of ups and downs with my husband.
He loves the ladies, and I had to crack down
on the time spent in the streets so he wouldn't
slip up and cheat on me again. He's cheated before,
(01:06):
and he swore that was behind him. We went to
counseling and he told a therapist that I would never
catch him cheating again. I didn't realize what he said
until recently. He said that I would never catch him.
He didn't say he'd never cheat. I honestly think he's
back to his old tricks, but he thinks he's slick.
(01:28):
I have started writing by his office to see if
his cars at work during the day. I checked the
credit card statements to make sure he's not using his
cards to do anything stupid like he did in the past.
His behavior is strange like it was when he was cheating,
but I can't catch him doing anything. I started snooping
again because I found toiletries in his car. He's got
(01:51):
the same everything that he has in the bathroom at home.
He has soap, deodorant, body spray, and his favorite lotion.
He's got a pair of footies, a T shirt, and
a pair of underwear in a bigger bag that stays
in his trunk. I've checked it when he wasn't paying attention,
and it looks like he hasn't worn the underwear, but
(02:12):
he's used the soap and deodorant. Now, Stephen Shirley, my
husband does not work out, so he can't say he
showers at the gym. I have every right to question
him right now for having the toilet trees in his car,
but I want to wait to see if the underwear disappears.
He has got to know I'm crazy from how I
caught him cheating before. I'm hoping to bust him really
(02:34):
good before I leave him. Or should I stop playing
games and leave him now? Since I've found the toilet trees?
What you already know what it is? And let me
say this though, before I even give you my response
to this letter. Just because a man has toiletries in
his car, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. But when
(02:56):
you add to that the underwear, a T shirt, and
I don't know what the footies are for, well, I
guess motel room floors are pretty nasty. But um, now
that combination does stay guilty as charge A T shirt, toiletries, underwear, footies,
all of that. What do you need all that for? Um?
(03:16):
You know? And the other thing. I really don't believe
you could stand catching him in the act again like
you did before. I don't think I don't think you
can do that. It would be way too painful for
you this time around. But of course if you ask
him straight up, he is going to lie. Know that
the problem is he still wants you, He still wants
to be married to you. He still wants her or
(03:38):
or or or or them. Uh you know, however many
he has. And you're right. He didn't say he wouldn't
cheat again. He said you wouldn't catch him cheating again. Uh,
this is not a game, this is your life. You
said you think he's up to his old tricks again,
and he probably is. So what are you going to
do about it? You took him back before. He didn't
(04:01):
deserve for you to take him back then. But you,
guys did go to counseling. You try to work on it,
or at least you did, or so you thought you did.
But um to continue cheating on you after all that, No, ma'am, No, ma'am.
If your gut and everything in you tells you he's
cheating again by his actions. When men cheat, they do
(04:21):
change their actions they do, something is changed about them,
And your instincts tell you that. Your intuition tells you that.
So I say wide around to why wait around to
catch him so, like you said in a letter, you
could bust him really good. I mean, what is that
gonna mean? What what is that gonna I don't get
(04:42):
that part of it. You want to bust him really good?
You know, if you want to leave because you suspect
him cheating, then leave. I mean, this makes no sense
for you to wait around to catch him cheating. Just
just do it if you feel that way, you know,
let him know why and all of that, but riding around,
you know, checking him on him at work and all
this stuff so you can get some evidence when you
(05:04):
really kind of know. I think that part is um.
I think you need to let that part go and
just you know, deal with this relationship. What it is
you think he's cheating. Go from there, Tommy, let me
get this right. Were waiting for something to happen to
these draws, for us to realize that he doing something.
(05:26):
That's what we waiting on. We're waiting on some activity
with these draws. Yep. Okay, let me give you the
ready to love answer perspective. How about that? Okay, if
you gotta do all of this, if you got to
do all of this to do I mean, you've done
all of it already. You realize it already, you know
(05:46):
it already. So why are you? Why are you doing
this to yourself? Why are you subjecting yourself to this
type of some more pain and some more hurt. Why
are you doing this to yourself? Why don't you Now
you've been married twelve years, Let's let's not be twelve
years a food. Let's not do that. Let's cut it off.
Let's get out of this relationship and move on, young lady.
It's over with. He is going to continue doing what
(06:08):
he's been doing. All he's trying to do is trying
to be better at what he's been doing. You trying
to be better at catching him? What's the what's the
chase for? I don't see no love? I see love nowhere,
and I've gotten pretty good at seeing love. I don't
see it at all in this in this letter? So
why don't you get yourself out of this relationship and
(06:28):
find you somebody? But you ain't gotta run around town.
See if you're over here, see if you at work,
See if you're doing this? What's in the trump? What's
on there? Who draws it? Then you'll draw? Why him
draws in the house. Why don't de older in him?
Why we why is we doing it? All? In? All right,
hang on, everybody, we'll be back with part two of
the response to this strawberry letter. Junior is gonna weigh
in as well, twenty three minutes after the hours when
(06:48):
we'll be back. If the subject is to keep toilet
trees in his car right after this you're listening show.
All right, guys, we're gonna recap today's strawberry letter. The
subject he keeps toilet trees in his car. A woman
has written in She's been married to a man for
twelve years. She's had a lot of ups and downs
with him. He loves the lady, she said. She had
(07:11):
a crackdown on the time he's spend in the street
so he wouldn't slip up and cheat on her again.
So he's already cheated before, she says. He swore that
all that behavior was behind him. They try to work
on the marriage, well, at least she did. They went
to counseling. He told the counselor that his wife would
never catch him cheating again. Now at the time, the
(07:33):
wife didn't catch what he was talking about. He said
she would never catch him cheating. He never said he
wouldn't cheat. So now this is sticking in. You know
that now she's realizing what he didn't say and what
he said, But she suspects now that he's cheating again.
He has a bag of toilet trees in his car,
the same thing he has at the house, deodorant, soap,
(07:56):
body spray, his favorite lotion. He's got a pair of footies,
he's shirt, a pair of underwear in a bigger bag
that's in his trunk. She thinks he's distributing the same behavior,
this cheating behavior that he once did. He's acting differently now.
All of this, everything's pointing to he's cheating. But the
reason she doesn't want to leave him right now is
(08:18):
because she wants to catch him cheating. She caught him before.
Now she wants to bust him really good before she
leaves him. Or she's saying, should she stop playing games
and leave him now since she's found the toilet trees,
it's not ready to love. You're not ready to love
or ready to continue be married being married to this cheater.
(08:39):
So you need to unpack him and his toilet trees
up and get out of there all right, junior, what
you got? I'm highly disappointed I am, and this man,
I really am. I mean, let's just look at this.
You go by the car, you see twothrush in the
back seat. You got deodorant in the back seat, you
(09:00):
probably got your favorite lotion on the flow. You just
got all this stuff out in the back and just open.
Then you got to drive by the job to see
if it's caused there gas is fox six to nine
a gallon. We don't have this type of time to
be driving all is going around here every two days
now we ate it. I was every two days because
we got to go by the offense to see if
(09:21):
his hands is in there. Now, this is really really
really not worth it. This is not this ain't you
didn't pay for the divorce by winsday. You didn't already
paid in gas for the divorce by I'm really hoighly did.
I'm just really upset with this man. And I'm gonna
tell you why, because it's called tortatries in the car.
Well you know what, why is the tortries in the
(09:43):
car Because he's stupid? Why we didn't do with Think
about this? Think about this dog. If you don't want
to get caught tortatries in the glove box and lock it.
That's that's a good place for she won't look down.
Don't nobody can't get nobody locked glove box. Now you
just got them all out in the car. You ain't
never think about totletries are to the hood? Sound like
the move. Could have put the torchries right there, could
(10:04):
have had them under that. She ain't gonna pop your
hood and look for no under there. Yeah, tortatries under
the hood. You ain't thinking about that. Here we go,
torn Atris about the spare tie. Don't nobody go check
the spare time if all folk ties are food wise,
didn't put them in there? Torries. You could have had
tortries behind the head lamps. Don't nobody to take your
(10:25):
lights off your car and check the lights open. I
take the light off, get the torches to put them
back when you throw this boy is just stupid. He
ain't thought about none of this stuff at all. Tornatris,
take up under the wheel house. Who looks some under
the wheelhouse to anybody the car. Don't nobody go look
and see I wanted to that tie in that wheelhouse.
Some tortries in there were lazy, He thought about none
(10:49):
of them. How about tortris in the sun roof lining?
Who gonna take your sunroof lining them down? And look, girl,
ask for some torgres in there. You just got them
laid out in the back seat for her to find you.
Now she riding pass your job every single day taking
money out of the house. Because you're not a good cheater.
Why you ain't thinking about this toiletries behind the speakers?
Who takes the speaker out and say, I wander if
(11:11):
I find some tooth paces back behind this twelve nobody
nobody saying just leave, man, because you're gonna be a
here question everything he do. You're gonna be going to
the supermarket and you see a missing the other he
was here. I know he just left. It's a fresh
(11:31):
bottle of old spice missing. I know it's too much, Lady.
I can't anybody just leave now, because you're gonna be
questioning everything y'all. Ain't y'all here, don't even understand none
of this stuff that he's doing. Why not just why
you didn't put the toiletries up under the real bumper?
Ain't nobody looking under the real bump flit will never
(11:55):
be able to him again. Every lazy lady. He lazy,
but he causing problems for everybody with his lazy and
cheap kind of gets us all. I feel like he
at the office now. We drive and sitting in traffic
thirty minute trying to get downtown to see it. The
damn caught him with fosits and nine a gallon gas.
I can't see this, But Junior, what does she mean
(12:16):
by she really wanted to? She's hoping to bust him
real good before. She's trying to bust him while he fresh.
That mean he just got the shower. That's what she
trying to do, bust him while he really he cleaned,
He glistening, got a little water in back. Yeah, that's
all I can think about. Shot motioned up? Man, just leave.
(12:38):
What are those footies for, Junior? What are the time
to you said the funniest time. I don't know, Job,
I just can't. I can't. I don't get the footage though,
I just don't. I just I can't do it with
footage own. I can't. All right, Lucy, we gotta dog,
I can't do it with foot his own Post your
(12:58):
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter Steve Harvey FM on Instagram
and Facebook. Also check out Today's Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, it's
Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to
The Stave Harvey Morning Show
Well, today's election day in Mississippi, in California, New Jersey, Iowa,
and in New Mexico. Please vote today. Go to When
We All Vote dot org to get all your voting information.
All right, please, we need your votes today. And as
we switch gears, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
(00:22):
and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to Stevearfm dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. You never know we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're gonna read this one right here, right now,
and you never know, it could be yours. It could
be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got
it for you here it is Strawberry letter, all right.
(00:44):
Thank a nephew. Subject he keeps his toilet trees in
his car. He keeps toilet trees in his car. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I've been married for twelve years and I
have had a lot of ups and downs with my husband.
He loves the ladies, and I had to crack down
on the time spent in the streets so he wouldn't
slip up and cheat on me again. He's cheated before,
(01:06):
and he swore that was behind him. We went to
counseling and he told a therapist that I would never
catch him cheating again. I didn't realize what he said
until recently. He said that I would never catch him.
He didn't say he'd never cheat. I honestly think he's
back to his old tricks, but he thinks he's slick.
(01:28):
I have started writing by his office to see if
his cars at work during the day. I checked the
credit card statements to make sure he's not using his
cards to do anything stupid like he did in the past.
His behavior is strange like it was when he was cheating,
but I can't catch him doing anything. I started snooping
again because I found toiletries in his car. He's got
(01:51):
the same everything that he has in the bathroom at home.
He has soap, deodorant, body spray, and his favorite lotion.
He's got a pair of footies, a T shirt, and
a pair of underwear in a bigger bag that stays
in his trunk. I've checked it when he wasn't paying attention,
and it looks like he hasn't worn the underwear, but
(02:12):
he's used the soap and deodorant. Now, Stephen Shirley, my
husband does not work out, so he can't say he
showers at the gym. I have every right to question
him right now for having the toilet trees in his car,
but I want to wait to see if the underwear disappears.
He has got to know I'm crazy from how I
caught him cheating before. I'm hoping to bust him really
(02:34):
good before I leave him. Or should I stop playing
games and leave him now? Since I've found the toilet trees?
What you already know what it is? And let me
say this though, before I even give you my response
to this letter. Just because a man has toiletries in
his car, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. But when
(02:56):
you add to that the underwear, a T shirt, and
I don't know what the footies are for, well, I
guess motel room floors are pretty nasty. But um, now
that combination does stay guilty as charge A T shirt, toiletries, underwear, footies,
all of that. What do you need all that for? Um?
(03:16):
You know? And the other thing. I really don't believe
you could stand catching him in the act again like
you did before. I don't think I don't think you
can do that. It would be way too painful for
you this time around. But of course if you ask
him straight up, he is going to lie. Know that
the problem is he still wants you, He still wants
to be married to you. He still wants her or
(03:38):
or or or or them. Uh you know, however many
he has. And you're right. He didn't say he wouldn't
cheat again. He said you wouldn't catch him cheating again. Uh,
this is not a game, this is your life. You
said you think he's up to his old tricks again,
and he probably is. So what are you going to
do about it? You took him back before. He didn't
(04:01):
deserve for you to take him back then. But you,
guys did go to counseling. You try to work on it,
or at least you did, or so you thought you did.
But um to continue cheating on you after all that, No, ma'am, No, ma'am.
If your gut and everything in you tells you he's
cheating again by his actions. When men cheat, they do
(04:21):
change their actions they do, something is changed about them,
And your instincts tell you that. Your intuition tells you that.
So I say wide around to why wait around to
catch him so, like you said in a letter, you
could bust him really good. I mean, what is that
gonna mean? What what is that gonna I don't get
(04:42):
that part of it. You want to bust him really good?
You know, if you want to leave because you suspect
him cheating, then leave. I mean, this makes no sense
for you to wait around to catch him cheating. Just
just do it if you feel that way, you know,
let him know why and all of that, but riding around,
you know, checking him on him at work and all
this stuff so you can get some evidence when you
(05:04):
really kind of know. I think that part is um.
I think you need to let that part go and
just you know, deal with this relationship. What it is
you think he's cheating. Go from there, Tommy, let me
get this right. Were waiting for something to happen to
these draws, for us to realize that he doing something.
(05:26):
That's what we waiting on. We're waiting on some activity
with these draws. Yep. Okay, let me give you the
ready to love answer perspective. How about that? Okay, if
you gotta do all of this, if you got to
do all of this to do I mean, you've done
all of it already. You realize it already, you know
(05:46):
it already. So why are you? Why are you doing
this to yourself? Why are you subjecting yourself to this
type of some more pain and some more hurt. Why
are you doing this to yourself? Why don't you Now
you've been married twelve years, Let's let's not be twelve
years a food. Let's not do that. Let's cut it off.
Let's get out of this relationship and move on, young lady.
It's over with. He is going to continue doing what
(06:08):
he's been doing. All he's trying to do is trying
to be better at what he's been doing. You trying
to be better at catching him? What's the what's the
chase for? I don't see no love? I see love nowhere,
and I've gotten pretty good at seeing love. I don't
see it at all in this in this letter? So
why don't you get yourself out of this relationship and
(06:28):
find you somebody? But you ain't gotta run around town.
See if you're over here, see if you at work,
See if you're doing this? What's in the trump? What's
on there? Who draws it? Then you'll draw? Why him
draws in the house. Why don't de older in him?
Why we why is we doing it? All? In? All right,
hang on, everybody, we'll be back with part two of
the response to this strawberry letter. Junior is gonna weigh
in as well, twenty three minutes after the hours when
(06:48):
we'll be back. If the subject is to keep toilet
trees in his car right after this you're listening show.
All right, guys, we're gonna recap today's strawberry letter. The
subject he keeps toilet trees in his car. A woman
has written in She's been married to a man for
twelve years. She's had a lot of ups and downs
with him. He loves the lady, she said. She had
(07:11):
a crackdown on the time he's spend in the street
so he wouldn't slip up and cheat on her again.
So he's already cheated before, she says. He swore that
all that behavior was behind him. They try to work
on the marriage, well, at least she did. They went
to counseling. He told the counselor that his wife would
never catch him cheating again. Now at the time, the
(07:33):
wife didn't catch what he was talking about. He said
she would never catch him cheating. He never said he
wouldn't cheat. So now this is sticking in. You know
that now she's realizing what he didn't say and what
he said, But she suspects now that he's cheating again.
He has a bag of toilet trees in his car,
the same thing he has at the house, deodorant, soap,
(07:56):
body spray, his favorite lotion. He's got a pair of footies,
he's shirt, a pair of underwear in a bigger bag
that's in his trunk. She thinks he's distributing the same behavior,
this cheating behavior that he once did. He's acting differently now.
All of this, everything's pointing to he's cheating. But the
reason she doesn't want to leave him right now is
(08:18):
because she wants to catch him cheating. She caught him before.
Now she wants to bust him really good before she
leaves him. Or she's saying, should she stop playing games
and leave him now since she's found the toilet trees,
it's not ready to love. You're not ready to love
or ready to continue be married being married to this cheater.
(08:39):
So you need to unpack him and his toilet trees
up and get out of there all right, junior, what
you got? I'm highly disappointed I am, and this man,
I really am. I mean, let's just look at this.
You go by the car, you see twothrush in the
back seat. You got deodorant in the back seat, you
(09:00):
probably got your favorite lotion on the flow. You just
got all this stuff out in the back and just open.
Then you got to drive by the job to see
if it's caused there gas is fox six to nine
a gallon. We don't have this type of time to
be driving all is going around here every two days
now we ate it. I was every two days because
we got to go by the offense to see if
(09:21):
his hands is in there. Now, this is really really
really not worth it. This is not this ain't you
didn't pay for the divorce by winsday. You didn't already
paid in gas for the divorce by I'm really hoighly did.
I'm just really upset with this man. And I'm gonna
tell you why, because it's called tortatries in the car.
Well you know what, why is the tortries in the
(09:43):
car Because he's stupid? Why we didn't do with Think
about this? Think about this dog. If you don't want
to get caught tortatries in the glove box and lock it.
That's that's a good place for she won't look down.
Don't nobody can't get nobody locked glove box. Now you
just got them all out in the car. You ain't
never think about totletries are to the hood? Sound like
the move. Could have put the torchries right there, could
(10:04):
have had them under that. She ain't gonna pop your
hood and look for no under there. Yeah, tortatries under
the hood. You ain't thinking about that. Here we go,
torn Atris about the spare tie. Don't nobody go check
the spare time if all folk ties are food wise,
didn't put them in there? Torries. You could have had
tortries behind the head lamps. Don't nobody to take your
(10:25):
lights off your car and check the lights open. I
take the light off, get the torches to put them
back when you throw this boy is just stupid. He
ain't thought about none of this stuff at all. Tornatris,
take up under the wheel house. Who looks some under
the wheelhouse to anybody the car. Don't nobody go look
and see I wanted to that tie in that wheelhouse.
Some tortries in there were lazy, He thought about none
(10:49):
of them. How about tortris in the sun roof lining?
Who gonna take your sunroof lining them down? And look, girl,
ask for some torgres in there. You just got them
laid out in the back seat for her to find you.
Now she riding pass your job every single day taking
money out of the house. Because you're not a good cheater.
Why you ain't thinking about this toiletries behind the speakers?
Who takes the speaker out and say, I wander if
(11:11):
I find some tooth paces back behind this twelve nobody
nobody saying just leave, man, because you're gonna be a
here question everything he do. You're gonna be going to
the supermarket and you see a missing the other he
was here. I know he just left. It's a fresh
(11:31):
bottle of old spice missing. I know it's too much, Lady.
I can't anybody just leave now, because you're gonna be
questioning everything y'all. Ain't y'all here, don't even understand none
of this stuff that he's doing. Why not just why
you didn't put the toiletries up under the real bumper?
Ain't nobody looking under the real bump flit will never
(11:55):
be able to him again. Every lazy lady. He lazy,
but he causing problems for everybody with his lazy and
cheap kind of gets us all. I feel like he
at the office now. We drive and sitting in traffic
thirty minute trying to get downtown to see it. The
damn caught him with fosits and nine a gallon gas.
I can't see this, But Junior, what does she mean
(12:16):
by she really wanted to? She's hoping to bust him
real good before. She's trying to bust him while he fresh.
That mean he just got the shower. That's what she
trying to do, bust him while he really he cleaned,
He glistening, got a little water in back. Yeah, that's
all I can think about. Shot motioned up? Man, just leave.
(12:38):
What are those footies for, Junior? What are the time
to you said the funniest time. I don't know, Job,
I just can't. I can't. I don't get the footage though,
I just don't. I just I can't do it with
footage own. I can't. All right, Lucy, we gotta dog,
I can't do it with foot his own Post your
(12:58):
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter Steve Harvey FM on Instagram
and Facebook. Also check out Today's Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, it's
Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to
The Stave Harvey Morning Show
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