August 19, 2020 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m married to my high school sweetheart but we have only been married for 4 years. After high school, we went our separate ways and he was married for 20 years and had 3 kids with his wife. I was married for 13 years and I got a divorce and was raising my 2 children alone, when I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. We blended our families and picked right back up where we left off in high school....................
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please admit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and
we could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now. Buckle up and hold on. Tark is what
(00:23):
we have here. It's a Strawberry Lanta. You're stupid, Thank you.
Nephew's subject he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but
we have only been married for four years. After high school,
we went our separate ways and he was married for
(00:45):
twenty years and had three kids with his wife. I
was married for thirteen years and I got a divorce
and was raising my two children alone. When I reconnect
it with my high school sweetheart, we blended our families
and picked right back up where we left off in
high school. We have lots in common and we share
a lot of old friends and memories. The only problem
(01:07):
I'm having in the marriage is when my husband mentions
how his ex wife did things, and he compares me
to her. He makes sure he always gives me credit
as being better than his ex. But I need him
to stop mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab
boil and I peeled the shrimp before adding them to
(01:27):
the pot. He told me he likes a shrimp peeled
because he likes a shrimp peeled because Carol used to
leave the shell on. I don't need to know what
Carol did with her shrimp. It's annoying and hurtful, especially
when he does it in front of others. Some of
his friends from his previous marriage are now my friends too,
(01:48):
and it's uncomfortable for them If my husband mentions his
ex wife in our conversation. I get that he spent
twenty years with the woman, so he got used to
how she did things, but he and I need to
get settled into our own ways of doing things. He
overheard me talking to my son and I told him
he's the spitting image of his daddy. My husband later
(02:08):
told me that it sounds like I miss my ex husband.
Why can't he understand that's how I feel when he
talks about his ex. How can I get him to
stop bringing up his ex wife to me and others. Well,
if I were petty, you know, if I were like
a petty and vindictive person, I would just tell you
(02:29):
to mention your ex every time he mentioned Carol, his
ex every time, and maybe even in the bedroom, although
I really wouldn't advise that one. But for me, you know,
depends on how petty you want to get here. Okay,
get betty, Petty, Betty, petty, betty. You know you could
(02:49):
make a contest out of it to see who could
mention them the most. Okay, But I'm not petty betty,
So I say explain it to him in a rational,
calm way. You could start with something like, you know, honey,
remember when you overheard me talking to my son, to
our son about how much he looks like his dad. Well,
you told me, you know, you said it sounded like
(03:11):
I missed my ex. That's what you said. But that
wasn't the case, you know. But guess what, I understand
what you meant by that completely, because every time you
mentioned Carol, your X, I feel like you're comparing me
to her, and I think you do that a lot.
You were with her for twenty years. I get that.
(03:31):
So you became accustomed to the way she did things
so much so that it seems like you can't help
mentioning it every chance you get, especially when we're around
our friends. At least I said that to my son,
our son and private when it was just the two
of us and no one else. I'm bringing all this
up because I don't think you realize how much you
mentioned Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you
(03:53):
understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your
husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's
what it is, that you just don't really get or
realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you
miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.
So I'm you know, I'm saying all this to say, please,
let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say
(04:16):
to each other and how we say things, how we
speak to each other. Please, we've been married for four years.
We want this to last a long time till death.
So as not to cause any more hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
We both have moved on. Remember that's why we're together.
That's how we got together in the first place. Because
we've moved on. Let's leave the past and the past
(04:37):
we have to do that, say something like that, Like
I said, in a rational, calm manner, don't go tit
for tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.
But I wouldn't do that, but just remind him. Maybe
he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you got
to remind him. But if you need to get Patty
Girl gone and get Patty Steve, well, I'm in total
(05:01):
disagreement with you. Sherla Ah. This letter don't call for
all that I think so beautiful response, well thought out,
everything like that. Here's a problem. High school sweethearts. He
was married for twenty years, had three kids, he was
man for thirteen hand two. Y'all got back together, pick
(05:22):
right back where we left off. We got lots in commas.
We share a lot of old friends and memories. The
only problem I'm having with this marriage here is what
the letter is about. It's when my husband mentioned how
his ex wife did things and he compares me to her.
(05:44):
I have one question for him, why is she your ex?
The fact that he keeps mentioning her, We've got to
dig into why she is the X because if you
miss hug and you keep mentioning her, and you keeps
(06:07):
comparing you to her. Maybe he didn't want out, he
just ended up out. Maybe he's not mentioning her because
he's just habit. Maybe it's a longing. I don't know,
but I have a couple of ideas for you when
we come back, because this is crazy. Just keep mentioning
(06:30):
her name Carol, Part two of Steve's Carol used to
lead the shells on. We'll have part two of Steve's
response coming up in twenty three minutes after be our
subject he loves to mention his ex wife. We'll get
(06:51):
back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,
Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He loves
to mention his ex wife. This man keep bringing up
his ex wife to his carron wife. Your husband mentioned
how his ex wife did stuff, and he compassed me
(07:12):
to her. Now he makes sure he give you credit though,
for being better than his ex. But I need him
to stop mentioning her altogether. He was a good example.
We're having a crab barrel crab boyl excuse me having
a crab boil. I peeled the shrimp before adding him
(07:32):
to the pot. He told me he likes to shrimp
peel because Carol used to lead a shell. I don't
need to know what Cal did. See well, he is
just Shelley, say get patty. I disagree with it, but
he is a freeway. You have to He told me
(07:54):
he liked to shrimp peel called Carol used to leave
it on the ship. Then Yo' response, I should be
Harol always liked him off to shell it and that's
why I figured you would too. That's petty sometimes, all right, Well,
let me try. It's annoying. It her fault, especially when
you do in front of others, some of his friends
(08:16):
from the previous manage and now my friends too. And
it's uncomfortable for them. If my husband mentioned that his
ex wife in our conversation, if he's still uncomfortable for them,
if he mentions his ex wife in our conversation, Shirley
saying mentioned yours too. Okay, Shirley, say something that the
(08:39):
man would say about a woman in the conversation with
a group of friends, and I'll give you her response.
Oh that's how you wear in your hair. Oh I
like it better when Carol. Carol, when she wear her hair.
She used to have the bangs kind of swooped to
the side. Well, I wear my hair like cal Mama,
(09:00):
that's I go to. That's how I just started, right there,
got to be petty. Try another one, Shirley. Oh you
got on those shoes. Oh Carol used to wear red
bottom Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms,
(09:22):
but you don't wear they don't come in your side.
I don't know who I insulted on that. What you
say you got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I
just try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who am I, Shirley?
(09:43):
You're the husband who always compares his wife to No,
you're doing the husband, and I'm showing how to come back. Okay,
so you know, okay, now I go okay, yeah, so
I'll just do the same one. Those aren't red bottoms.
Carol always wore red bottoms. My ex Carol him. Yeah,
(10:08):
well Carol must have had more money, because yo, broke ass.
I'm down here, pay less. You're supposed to bringing her
ex husband? Go ahead? Shit, okay, all right? What are
these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked him, I
could always tell the difference. We come hell It never
(10:34):
made Harold no difference what I did because I was
naked cooking both of them. Okay, now you get your
legs now, I'm ready, Okay, all right, all right, let's
let's go see. Um you want to go see that
a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,
Shoot him Up, stuff like that, Murder mysteries, gangster stuff. Yeah,
(10:59):
you're like me and Harold like pawing up. So we're
gonna wash a little punk ass movie. You and Carol
used to watch me and Harold was in here doing tabletop. Wow,
have you gained a little weight? Carol has that same
(11:21):
outfit and she it fit her really nicely, you know her.
I like the way it fit her butt. It's kind
of I don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses
on top of my butt, so I don't even know.
I didn't know. I don't even Yeah, so I don't
(11:45):
even know if mine was fitting it. Now you know
hairl so crazy. Oh that's what kind of car you have,
because you know, um, Harold, you know he had a
g wagon, Carol, I mean, Carol had a Thank you Carol.
(12:05):
Well he Harol had a herse. I don't forget it.
He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.
I just crawled up in the back and he drive
me to work. So oh so we're going on vacation,
(12:25):
honey after COVID okay, oh uncommercial? Oh um. We always
went on private, but okay, we must go commercial. She
knew pilots and everything Carol did. Damn, maybe I should
have married Carol. All right, thank you? Yeah you did
(13:00):
comments on today Strawberry Letter. Yeah, you've gotta get patty
with this when you do. But post your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, f them on Instagram
and Facebook, and please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand now. Coming up at forty six minutes after
the hour, we're going to talk about the Democratic National
Convention last night. Right after this, you're listening to the
(13:22):
Steve Harvey Morning Show
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please admit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and
we could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now. Buckle up and hold on. Tark is what
(00:23):
we have here. It's a Strawberry Lanta. You're stupid, Thank you.
Nephew's subject he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but
we have only been married for four years. After high school,
we went our separate ways and he was married for
(00:45):
twenty years and had three kids with his wife. I
was married for thirteen years and I got a divorce
and was raising my two children alone. When I reconnect
it with my high school sweetheart, we blended our families
and picked right back up where we left off in
high school. We have lots in common and we share
a lot of old friends and memories. The only problem
(01:07):
I'm having in the marriage is when my husband mentions
how his ex wife did things, and he compares me
to her. He makes sure he always gives me credit
as being better than his ex. But I need him
to stop mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab
boil and I peeled the shrimp before adding them to
(01:27):
the pot. He told me he likes a shrimp peeled
because he likes a shrimp peeled because Carol used to
leave the shell on. I don't need to know what
Carol did with her shrimp. It's annoying and hurtful, especially
when he does it in front of others. Some of
his friends from his previous marriage are now my friends too,
(01:48):
and it's uncomfortable for them If my husband mentions his
ex wife in our conversation. I get that he spent
twenty years with the woman, so he got used to
how she did things, but he and I need to
get settled into our own ways of doing things. He
overheard me talking to my son and I told him
he's the spitting image of his daddy. My husband later
(02:08):
told me that it sounds like I miss my ex husband.
Why can't he understand that's how I feel when he
talks about his ex. How can I get him to
stop bringing up his ex wife to me and others. Well,
if I were petty, you know, if I were like
a petty and vindictive person, I would just tell you
(02:29):
to mention your ex every time he mentioned Carol, his
ex every time, and maybe even in the bedroom, although
I really wouldn't advise that one. But for me, you know,
depends on how petty you want to get here. Okay,
get betty, Petty, Betty, petty, betty. You know you could
(02:49):
make a contest out of it to see who could
mention them the most. Okay, But I'm not petty betty,
So I say explain it to him in a rational,
calm way. You could start with something like, you know, honey,
remember when you overheard me talking to my son, to
our son about how much he looks like his dad. Well,
you told me, you know, you said it sounded like
(03:11):
I missed my ex. That's what you said. But that
wasn't the case, you know. But guess what, I understand
what you meant by that completely, because every time you
mentioned Carol, your X, I feel like you're comparing me
to her, and I think you do that a lot.
You were with her for twenty years. I get that.
(03:31):
So you became accustomed to the way she did things
so much so that it seems like you can't help
mentioning it every chance you get, especially when we're around
our friends. At least I said that to my son,
our son and private when it was just the two
of us and no one else. I'm bringing all this
up because I don't think you realize how much you
mentioned Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you
(03:53):
understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your
husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's
what it is, that you just don't really get or
realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you
miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.
So I'm you know, I'm saying all this to say, please,
let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say
(04:16):
to each other and how we say things, how we
speak to each other. Please, we've been married for four years.
We want this to last a long time till death.
So as not to cause any more hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
We both have moved on. Remember that's why we're together.
That's how we got together in the first place. Because
we've moved on. Let's leave the past and the past
(04:37):
we have to do that, say something like that, Like
I said, in a rational, calm manner, don't go tit
for tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.
But I wouldn't do that, but just remind him. Maybe
he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you got
to remind him. But if you need to get Patty
Girl gone and get Patty Steve, well, I'm in total
(05:01):
disagreement with you. Sherla Ah. This letter don't call for
all that I think so beautiful response, well thought out,
everything like that. Here's a problem. High school sweethearts. He
was married for twenty years, had three kids, he was
man for thirteen hand two. Y'all got back together, pick
(05:22):
right back where we left off. We got lots in commas.
We share a lot of old friends and memories. The
only problem I'm having with this marriage here is what
the letter is about. It's when my husband mentioned how
his ex wife did things and he compares me to her.
(05:44):
I have one question for him, why is she your ex?
The fact that he keeps mentioning her, We've got to
dig into why she is the X because if you
miss hug and you keep mentioning her, and you keeps
(06:07):
comparing you to her. Maybe he didn't want out, he
just ended up out. Maybe he's not mentioning her because
he's just habit. Maybe it's a longing. I don't know,
but I have a couple of ideas for you when
we come back, because this is crazy. Just keep mentioning
(06:30):
her name Carol, Part two of Steve's Carol used to
lead the shells on. We'll have part two of Steve's
response coming up in twenty three minutes after be our
subject he loves to mention his ex wife. We'll get
(06:51):
back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,
Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He loves
to mention his ex wife. This man keep bringing up
his ex wife to his carron wife. Your husband mentioned
how his ex wife did stuff, and he compassed me
(07:12):
to her. Now he makes sure he give you credit though,
for being better than his ex. But I need him
to stop mentioning her altogether. He was a good example.
We're having a crab barrel crab boyl excuse me having
a crab boil. I peeled the shrimp before adding him
(07:32):
to the pot. He told me he likes to shrimp
peel because Carol used to lead a shell. I don't
need to know what Cal did. See well, he is
just Shelley, say get patty. I disagree with it, but
he is a freeway. You have to He told me
(07:54):
he liked to shrimp peel called Carol used to leave
it on the ship. Then Yo' response, I should be
Harol always liked him off to shell it and that's
why I figured you would too. That's petty sometimes, all right, Well,
let me try. It's annoying. It her fault, especially when
you do in front of others, some of his friends
(08:16):
from the previous manage and now my friends too. And
it's uncomfortable for them. If my husband mentioned that his
ex wife in our conversation, if he's still uncomfortable for them,
if he mentions his ex wife in our conversation, Shirley
saying mentioned yours too. Okay, Shirley, say something that the
(08:39):
man would say about a woman in the conversation with
a group of friends, and I'll give you her response.
Oh that's how you wear in your hair. Oh I
like it better when Carol. Carol, when she wear her hair.
She used to have the bangs kind of swooped to
the side. Well, I wear my hair like cal Mama,
(09:00):
that's I go to. That's how I just started, right there,
got to be petty. Try another one, Shirley. Oh you
got on those shoes. Oh Carol used to wear red
bottom Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms,
(09:22):
but you don't wear they don't come in your side.
I don't know who I insulted on that. What you
say you got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I
just try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who am I, Shirley?
(09:43):
You're the husband who always compares his wife to No,
you're doing the husband, and I'm showing how to come back. Okay,
so you know, okay, now I go okay, yeah, so
I'll just do the same one. Those aren't red bottoms.
Carol always wore red bottoms. My ex Carol him. Yeah,
(10:08):
well Carol must have had more money, because yo, broke ass.
I'm down here, pay less. You're supposed to bringing her
ex husband? Go ahead? Shit, okay, all right? What are
these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked him, I
could always tell the difference. We come hell It never
(10:34):
made Harold no difference what I did because I was
naked cooking both of them. Okay, now you get your
legs now, I'm ready, Okay, all right, all right, let's
let's go see. Um you want to go see that
a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,
Shoot him Up, stuff like that, Murder mysteries, gangster stuff. Yeah,
(10:59):
you're like me and Harold like pawing up. So we're
gonna wash a little punk ass movie. You and Carol
used to watch me and Harold was in here doing tabletop. Wow,
have you gained a little weight? Carol has that same
(11:21):
outfit and she it fit her really nicely, you know her.
I like the way it fit her butt. It's kind
of I don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses
on top of my butt, so I don't even know.
I didn't know. I don't even Yeah, so I don't
(11:45):
even know if mine was fitting it. Now you know
hairl so crazy. Oh that's what kind of car you have,
because you know, um, Harold, you know he had a
g wagon, Carol, I mean, Carol had a Thank you Carol.
(12:05):
Well he Harol had a herse. I don't forget it.
He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.
I just crawled up in the back and he drive
me to work. So oh so we're going on vacation,
(12:25):
honey after COVID okay, oh uncommercial? Oh um. We always
went on private, but okay, we must go commercial. She
knew pilots and everything Carol did. Damn, maybe I should
have married Carol. All right, thank you? Yeah you did
(13:00):
comments on today Strawberry Letter. Yeah, you've gotta get patty
with this when you do. But post your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, f them on Instagram
and Facebook, and please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand now. Coming up at forty six minutes after
the hour, we're going to talk about the Democratic National
Convention last night. Right after this, you're listening to the
(13:22):
Steve Harvey Morning Show
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com