October 28, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Tuesday, October 28th, 2025. Subject: "He Said His Mom is Off Limits "
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letters live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one, this one right here, right now, and
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Let us all right, nephew, thank you. Subject he said
his mom is off limits. He said his mom is
off limits. Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley. My fiance and his
mom were too close, and he struggled to set boundaries
with her because the guy she was seeing for twenty
years dumped her when he and I met. He had
(00:48):
no real friends, and he did everything with his mom,
like going to get massages, going on vacations, going on
shopping sprees, and going to the nail salon, and everything
was always paid for by his mom. Yes, her boyfriend
was married, so she had plenty of time to spend
with her son. Recognizing the red flags, I urged him
(01:09):
to grow up and break free from his mom if
he planned to have a future with me. His mom
was upset at first and said that I was plotting
to take her son away from her. Now that we're engaged,
they still spend a lot of time together, but now
he invites me to join them. I lost my mom
five years ago, so his mom has been helpful with
(01:30):
wedding ideas, but I can tell she's not truly happy
with me. So at lunch recently, I asked if she
had a problem with me. She said, yes, she does.
I let her speak, and then I told her all
of the issues I have with her. My fiance sat
there and let his mom take shots at me, but
told me to watch my mouth when I told her
(01:53):
about herself. I left the restaurant thinking that things would
be better since we cut through the BS, but over
the last few days it's gotten worse. My fiance told
me that his mom is off limits to me from
now on. He told me that I talked to his
mom like I'm her equal and she is done with
me forever. He said his mom's feeling way heavily on
(02:16):
feelings way heavily on him and could affect me and
him getting married. How can this be? Is he going
to always choose her over me?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Well? You got to let this go. This is not
going to work out, and you're not going to stay
married to him long. You wouldn't stay married to him
long if you guys were to get married, because his
mom would be that third person in your marriage. I
know you've invested time in him and feelings in him
and all this into this relationship. You've agreed to marry
(02:51):
him and everything. But this mama's boy has made his choice,
and he chose mama. Okay, he chose his mother. I
don't care how right you think you are. You can
never disrespect a man's mother. You went too far and
telling her about herself, as you call it. You didn't
tell us what you said, but you went too far.
(03:12):
I know you did. The man just no man is
going to just sit there and let you talk crazy
to his mom. Nobody's no man is going to do that, period.
I mean, it's just not happening. And I am a
bit surprised that you didn't already know that though you know,
even though you're feeling that, you got to hold back
a little bit and just find a way to respectfully
say what you said.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
He was right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
You are not her equal, and that's not to say
that she can treat you any kind of way. It
just means that you have to have a respectful way,
like I said, to get her up off you. Key
word is respectful. So go ahead, give him his ring
back and all that, and start moving on with your
life because there will be no wedding. Now that you've
expressed yourself in this way, your fiance would not have
(03:56):
changed anyway because he was like this before and during.
He would still be a mama's boy in your marriage,
always putting his mom first. So consider yourself okay that
you dodged a big mama's boy bullet in this instance.
He's probably over there right now with Mama. So you
know this wouldn't have worked out for you.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Steve.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Let me just go to the bottom of the letter
and just lady, there's no way to say this to you.
He said his mom's feelings weigh heavily on him and
could affect me and him getting married. How can this be?
Is he going to always choose her over me? What
do I do?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Read the letter, and he always chose her over you?
He done chose her over everything. He ain't even live
in no regular life. Because I'm gonna tell you something
right now, i'd have read this letter. This ain't normal.
This ain't normal. Right here you're talking about he didn't
(05:01):
struggle or set boundaries with her because the guy she
was seeing for twenty years dumped her. Then you told
me in the letter the guy she was seeing was married. Okay,
so they just make dumb decisions all the time. Him
at her, He ain't had no real friends. And this
(05:23):
is where the letter got crazy for me. She said,
he did everything with his mom. Now listen to this,
like going to get massages.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Who get what?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Man go get a massage with his mama? Now daughters
and mamas do it all the time, But what't man
go get a massage with his mama? Going on vacations,
going on shopping sprees, and going to the nail salon?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Who go get they nails done with they mama? What
man do that? And everything was paid for by his mom?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Then she says, recognizing the red flags, I urged him
to grow up and break free from his mama. What
women stop collecting red flags, putting them in your trunk
When you see red flags, leave them in the ground.
(06:32):
Stop collecting red flags.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Hold it out there, shifted, Yeah, hold it right there.
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter. Subject
he said his mom is off limits. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening to Harvey Morning Show. Hey, everyone,
(07:00):
health question. Even though you're still thriving, still loving, still connecting,
did you know your immune system weakens with age. That's
where vaccines come in. They help train and strengthen your
immune response to fight off certain respiratory illnesses like flu Newmacaco, pneumonia, RSV,
and COVID nineteen this fall, ask your doctor which vaccines
(07:20):
you need and visit vaxsist dot com. That's vaexsist dot
com to schedule one or more of vaccines sponsored by Pfizer.
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is he said his mom is off limits.
You left off with women. Stop collecting red flags.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Steve, Ladies, y'all, this is letter is all wrong. Shirley said,
this is a mama's boy. This is a mama's boy.
In a severe case, they do everything together. What may
go get a massage with his mama, going on vacations together,
(08:04):
going on shopping sprees and going to the nail salon.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Who go get their nail done with their mama?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Can I tell y'all how much I loved dear loss
Ville Harvey. Can I tell you how much I loved
my mama?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I'm talking about love, telling like.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
You you could not love your mother more than I
love mine. You can love her and be, but you not.
I'll hurt you about her even to this day. It's
just it's so crazy. She was the first woman I
ever loved, and I never stopped loving her. So but
(08:51):
we ain't ever went and got our nails done. Me
and my mama ain't help a went and got him
massage together. Me and my mama didn't go on vacations
together because what I'm finish do on vacations and down
at the massage parlor.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
But Mama don't need to see this. So then you said.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
You told him, recognizing the red flags, I urged him
to grow up and break free from his mom if
he had planned on having a future with me. Then
you said his mother was upset and said that I
was plotting to take her son from her. So, now
that's a huge red flag. Should have left it in
the ground. Ladies, like I said before, stopped collecting red flags.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That's your problem. Y'all. See these red flags and put
them in your car.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Now that we engage, where that comes from?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Did you not hear anything you text? Now we engage.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
To the man that go get a nail down with
his mama, to the man to go get massages with
his mama, to the man to go on vacation with
his mama. Now that we engaged, they still spend a
lot of time together.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Dull, but now he invites me to join.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I lost my mama five years ago, and so his
mom has been helpful with planning the wedding.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I did so.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Then they were sitting at lunch and she asked the
mama did she have a problem with her? And the
mama just said, yeah, I got a problem with you.
And then you let her speak and she told you
all the issues that she had with you, and then
you told her all the issues I had with her.
(10:57):
My fiance sat there and let his mom take shots
at me.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
What you thought he was gonna do?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
He ain't been running nothing with his mama. But then
when I tried to say what I want to say,
he told me to watch your mouth. I left the
restaurant thinking things would be better since we cut through
the bs. What how did you lead a restaurant thinking
things would be better?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Did you? And what she said about you?
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And then when you tried to say something right back
to her, watch your mouth. You thought things were gonna
be better, but it's gotten worse. My fiance told me
that his mama is off limits to me from now on.
He told me that I talked to his mama like
I was her equal, and she's done with me.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Fev.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
He said his mama's feeling his way heavy on him
and could affect me and him getting married. It already had.
How can this be? Is he going to always choose
her over me?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What do I do? Cut your losses? Take them red
flags out the truck of your car and throw them
out on the side of the road somewhere and drive off.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I don't remember how the movie Remember the movie Eddie
Murphy did norb it?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah? Yeah, Now, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Know who the lady was, the big lady that Eddie played,
that's his mama in this and let.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
You know what this is.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Big rescuses this. You dn't norbit and if I wish you,
I would run. And I don't even do movie analogies,
but that's what I see happening.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Lady, if you don't get away from.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
This boy who will never ever be your man because
he's so busy being hubboy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
You can't be a boy and a.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Man at the same time. You cannot do those two
things at once. They are in direct conflict. You can't
be a boy and a man at the same time.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Nop. Well, good luck.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVEFM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app out Jeffrey never sounded
so good. You can download it today. Coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour, we got sports talk
with Tommy and for Junior. Right after this, you're listening
(13:52):
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letters live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one, this one right here, right now, and
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Let us all right, nephew, thank you. Subject he said
his mom is off limits. He said his mom is
off limits. Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley. My fiance and his
mom were too close, and he struggled to set boundaries
with her because the guy she was seeing for twenty
years dumped her when he and I met. He had
(00:48):
no real friends, and he did everything with his mom,
like going to get massages, going on vacations, going on
shopping sprees, and going to the nail salon, and everything
was always paid for by his mom. Yes, her boyfriend
was married, so she had plenty of time to spend
with her son. Recognizing the red flags, I urged him
(01:09):
to grow up and break free from his mom if
he planned to have a future with me. His mom
was upset at first and said that I was plotting
to take her son away from her. Now that we're engaged,
they still spend a lot of time together, but now
he invites me to join them. I lost my mom
five years ago, so his mom has been helpful with
(01:30):
wedding ideas, but I can tell she's not truly happy
with me. So at lunch recently, I asked if she
had a problem with me. She said, yes, she does.
I let her speak, and then I told her all
of the issues I have with her. My fiance sat
there and let his mom take shots at me, but
told me to watch my mouth when I told her
(01:53):
about herself. I left the restaurant thinking that things would
be better since we cut through the BS, but over
the last few days it's gotten worse. My fiance told
me that his mom is off limits to me from
now on. He told me that I talked to his
mom like I'm her equal and she is done with
me forever. He said his mom's feeling way heavily on
(02:16):
feelings way heavily on him and could affect me and
him getting married. How can this be? Is he going
to always choose her over me?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Well? You got to let this go. This is not
going to work out, and you're not going to stay
married to him long. You wouldn't stay married to him
long if you guys were to get married, because his
mom would be that third person in your marriage. I
know you've invested time in him and feelings in him
and all this into this relationship. You've agreed to marry
(02:51):
him and everything. But this mama's boy has made his choice,
and he chose mama. Okay, he chose his mother. I
don't care how right you think you are. You can
never disrespect a man's mother. You went too far and
telling her about herself, as you call it. You didn't
tell us what you said, but you went too far.
(03:12):
I know you did. The man just no man is
going to just sit there and let you talk crazy
to his mom. Nobody's no man is going to do that, period.
I mean, it's just not happening. And I am a
bit surprised that you didn't already know that though you know,
even though you're feeling that, you got to hold back
a little bit and just find a way to respectfully
say what you said.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
He was right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
You are not her equal, and that's not to say
that she can treat you any kind of way. It
just means that you have to have a respectful way,
like I said, to get her up off you. Key
word is respectful. So go ahead, give him his ring
back and all that, and start moving on with your
life because there will be no wedding. Now that you've
expressed yourself in this way, your fiance would not have
(03:56):
changed anyway because he was like this before and during.
He would still be a mama's boy in your marriage,
always putting his mom first. So consider yourself okay that
you dodged a big mama's boy bullet in this instance.
He's probably over there right now with Mama. So you
know this wouldn't have worked out for you.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Steve.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Let me just go to the bottom of the letter
and just lady, there's no way to say this to you.
He said his mom's feelings weigh heavily on him and
could affect me and him getting married. How can this be?
Is he going to always choose her over me? What
do I do?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Read the letter, and he always chose her over you?
He done chose her over everything. He ain't even live
in no regular life. Because I'm gonna tell you something
right now, i'd have read this letter. This ain't normal.
This ain't normal. Right here you're talking about he didn't
(05:01):
struggle or set boundaries with her because the guy she
was seeing for twenty years dumped her. Then you told
me in the letter the guy she was seeing was married. Okay,
so they just make dumb decisions all the time. Him
at her, He ain't had no real friends. And this
(05:23):
is where the letter got crazy for me. She said,
he did everything with his mom. Now listen to this,
like going to get massages.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Who get what?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Man go get a massage with his mama? Now daughters
and mamas do it all the time, But what't man
go get a massage with his mama? Going on vacations,
going on shopping sprees, and going to the nail salon?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Who go get they nails done with they mama? What
man do that? And everything was paid for by his mom?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Then she says, recognizing the red flags, I urged him
to grow up and break free from his mama. What
women stop collecting red flags, putting them in your trunk
When you see red flags, leave them in the ground.
(06:32):
Stop collecting red flags.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Hold it out there, shifted, Yeah, hold it right there.
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter. Subject
he said his mom is off limits. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening to Harvey Morning Show. Hey, everyone,
(07:00):
health question. Even though you're still thriving, still loving, still connecting,
did you know your immune system weakens with age. That's
where vaccines come in. They help train and strengthen your
immune response to fight off certain respiratory illnesses like flu Newmacaco, pneumonia, RSV,
and COVID nineteen this fall, ask your doctor which vaccines
(07:20):
you need and visit vaxsist dot com. That's vaexsist dot
com to schedule one or more of vaccines sponsored by Pfizer.
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is he said his mom is off limits.
You left off with women. Stop collecting red flags.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Steve, Ladies, y'all, this is letter is all wrong. Shirley said,
this is a mama's boy. This is a mama's boy.
In a severe case, they do everything together. What may
go get a massage with his mama, going on vacations together,
(08:04):
going on shopping sprees and going to the nail salon.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Who go get their nail done with their mama?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Can I tell y'all how much I loved dear loss
Ville Harvey. Can I tell you how much I loved
my mama?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I'm talking about love, telling like.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
You you could not love your mother more than I
love mine. You can love her and be, but you not.
I'll hurt you about her even to this day. It's
just it's so crazy. She was the first woman I
ever loved, and I never stopped loving her. So but
(08:51):
we ain't ever went and got our nails done. Me
and my mama ain't help a went and got him
massage together. Me and my mama didn't go on vacations
together because what I'm finish do on vacations and down
at the massage parlor.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
But Mama don't need to see this. So then you said.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
You told him, recognizing the red flags, I urged him
to grow up and break free from his mom if
he had planned on having a future with me. Then
you said his mother was upset and said that I
was plotting to take her son from her. So, now
that's a huge red flag. Should have left it in
the ground. Ladies, like I said before, stopped collecting red flags.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That's your problem. Y'all. See these red flags and put
them in your car.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Now that we engage, where that comes from?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Did you not hear anything you text? Now we engage.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
To the man that go get a nail down with
his mama, to the man to go get massages with
his mama, to the man to go on vacation with
his mama. Now that we engaged, they still spend a
lot of time together.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Dull, but now he invites me to join.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I lost my mama five years ago, and so his
mom has been helpful with planning the wedding.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I did so.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Then they were sitting at lunch and she asked the
mama did she have a problem with her? And the
mama just said, yeah, I got a problem with you.
And then you let her speak and she told you
all the issues that she had with you, and then
you told her all the issues I had with her.
(10:57):
My fiance sat there and let his mom take shots
at me.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
What you thought he was gonna do?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
He ain't been running nothing with his mama. But then
when I tried to say what I want to say,
he told me to watch your mouth. I left the
restaurant thinking things would be better since we cut through
the bs. What how did you lead a restaurant thinking
things would be better?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Did you? And what she said about you?
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And then when you tried to say something right back
to her, watch your mouth. You thought things were gonna
be better, but it's gotten worse. My fiance told me
that his mama is off limits to me from now on.
He told me that I talked to his mama like
I was her equal, and she's done with me.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Fev.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
He said his mama's feeling his way heavy on him
and could affect me and him getting married. It already had.
How can this be? Is he going to always choose
her over me?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What do I do? Cut your losses? Take them red
flags out the truck of your car and throw them
out on the side of the road somewhere and drive off.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I don't remember how the movie Remember the movie Eddie
Murphy did norb it?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah? Yeah, Now, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Know who the lady was, the big lady that Eddie played,
that's his mama in this and let.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
You know what this is.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Big rescuses this. You dn't norbit and if I wish you,
I would run. And I don't even do movie analogies,
but that's what I see happening.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Lady, if you don't get away from.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
This boy who will never ever be your man because
he's so busy being hubboy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
You can't be a boy and a.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Man at the same time. You cannot do those two
things at once. They are in direct conflict. You can't
be a boy and a man at the same time.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Nop. Well, good luck.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVEFM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app out Jeffrey never sounded
so good. You can download it today. Coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour, we got sports talk
with Tommy and for Junior. Right after this, you're listening
(13:52):
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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