Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
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Speaker 2 (00:23):
It could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Buckle up and hold on type We got it, avoid you,
and here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. He treats me like
a side chick. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been in a
relationship with a man for two years and he treats
me like a side chick. I can spend the night
at his house, but I can't leave anything at his house. Meanwhile,
he has toiletries at my house, and he has left
his steeler's blanket, fold it up neatly on my couch
(00:50):
and asked me not to move it. He's a dog lover,
but he won't allow my dog to set foot in
his house. And he only weighs five pounds. I can
see if it was a rottweiler, but it's a tiny
toy poodle. On Sunday, his mom and dad called and
said they were stopping by because they were in the area.
He said I should go before they got there. I
(01:13):
get that it wouldn't be good to meet them for
the first time like that, but he couldn't have He
could have been nicer about it, or he could have
said I could meet them another time. He won't come
to any of my work events, and I have a.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Lot of them.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
He said, we need to decide where our relationship is
going before he makes those kinds of moves. I don't
understand what that means. He's thirty six and I'm thirty two,
and for the past two years we've been having most
of our meals together, sleeping together, working out together, and
even hanging out with my two sisters. I won't let
him meet my parents until I meet his because I
(01:48):
don't know how to introduce him. If I say he's
my boyfriend, he might correct me in front of my daddy,
and that would be embarrassing. At our big ages, he
should be ready to settle down. When I look back
at how our relationship began, I didn't ask the right questions.
He never told me that he was ready to settle down.
We just started hanging out a lot and having great sex.
(02:11):
Have I let this go on for too long to
start questioning him? My answer to you is no, of course,
it's never too late to get what you want, and
you can ask him whatever questions you need to ask.
No longer how long it's been. You're still sleeping with
this guy, You're still doing all the things that you've
been doing. There's no time limit to this. But honestly, though,
(02:34):
I don't think anything that you do at this point
is going to matter. I mean, you should have had
these questions long, long time ago to ask him. One
of the main problems in this situationship, as you call it,
is there's no communication, no clarity. This should have been
established in the first year. So for you to say
he's treating you like a sidechick, it begs the question
(02:55):
why why is he treating you like a side chick?
Why are you taking this from this man? You can't
be a side chick if you don't act like a
side chick. For two years. You said you've sat back
and you just let this man do you this way.
Not meeting his parents, you can't leave you anything over
his house. He won't go to job functions with you.
(03:15):
You can't bring your little five pound dog over there.
What more do you need to realize that he's not
feeling you like that after two years? I mean, what
are you waiting for? Come on, You've already given him
two years of your life. In his mind, you are
just a side chick, and he makes sure you know it.
I don't think you should continue to allow him to
disrespect you or whatever. Trust me, he knows exactly what
(03:38):
he's doing. You're the one that's in the dark. If
you're not a number number two, then let him know that.
Let him know it today, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
He treats me like a side chick. No, no, that's
not how he's treating you. You're allowing him to treat
you like a side chick.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
That's all this letter is.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
You've allowed behavior to continue and to go on without
any checks and balances.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
So this is what we do.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
If you allow us to run over you, you're fin
to have tire marks all over your back because that's
what you want, that's what you accept. Ladies, come on here,
when are women going to understand that you have a
say so in your own life? You have the right
(04:37):
to know where our relationship is going and what it
is at all times, even from the very beginning. Now
I've been in relationship with a man for two years.
He treats me like a side chick. Let's just stop this.
You're allowing him. I can spend the night at his house,
but I can't leave anything at his house. He got
(05:00):
people coming over there and can't be no traces to
you in now. Meanwhile, he has toilet trees at my house,
and he just left his steeler blanket, fold it up
neatly on my couch and asked me not to move it.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's cause you don't have nobody else coming over there.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And he can leave tilet trees and the blanket or
whatever he won't, but you can't do the same thing.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
How did you even allow this to happen?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
How he's a dog lover, but he won't allow my
dog to set foot in his house.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Well, he don't love yo dog. He a dog level,
but not yo dog.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I could see if it were rot wilder, but it's
a tiny toy poodle. On Sunday, his mom and dad
called and said they were stopping by because they were
in the error.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
He said, I should go before they got there.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I get that it wouldn't be good to meet them
for the first time like that, but he could have
been nicer about it, or he could have said I
could meet them another time.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Now, you got to get out out. My mom and
daddy coming. You got to get out. I don't want
them to meet you.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Ladies, If you've been dating a man for two years
and you ain't met his mom and daddy.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Boy that you're not it. You're not.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
If you've been with a man for two years in
what you think is a committed relationship and you haven't
met his parents, but in two years, it's because you're
not it. He won't come to any of my work events,
and I have a lot of them. Now, listen to
(06:33):
this line he said, we need to decide where our
relationship is going before we make those kinds of moves.
You ain't made up your mind in two years, then
it ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Right Hang on, Steve, We'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject he treats me like a side chick.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show, you've heard us talk about the
(07:03):
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(07:24):
com again, that's one eight hundred two five one fifty
four hundred or Globelife radio dot com. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he treats
me like a side chick.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
You know what, child, this is really a sad letter
from this thirty two year old woman who's claiming that
her man is treating her like a side chick. I
just want to tell you this that that's what the
treatment you've allowed, even from day one. I mean, you
can't leave nothing at his house, but in the meantime
he got taller trees and a football stealer's blanket over
your house, folded up.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
On the couch and ask you not to move it.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You can't leave nothing at his house because he got
people coming over there, and he don't need no signs
of another woman. He's a dog lover. Bit he don't
let your dog come over, so he don't love your dog.
What kind of dog lover is he?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
The loved dogs? They don't his mom.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
On Sunday, his mom and dad call said they were
stopping by because they was in the area.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
He told you you should go before they got there.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Then you justified by saying I get that it wouldn't
be good to meet them for the first time like that.
But he could have been nicer about it, or would
have said I could meet them another time.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
He ain't never told you you could meet them. You've
been dating for two years.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
If you ain't met the man's mama boy in two years,
it's because you're not the one. He won't come to
any of my work events, and I have a lot
of them. He said, we need to decide where our
relationship is going before we make those kinds of moves.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's been two years.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
They ain't a man living that's been with a woman
study for two years and don't know where it's going.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
We just ain't told.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
You I don't understand what that means. It means you're
not the one. I'm sorry, sister, that's what this means.
He's thirty six and I'm thirty two, and for the
past few year, two years, we've been having most of
our meals together, sleeping together, working out together, and even
(09:19):
hanging out with my two sisters. Yeah, but you ain't
been with none of his family. I won't let him
meet my parents until I met his, and he don't
care nothing about meeting your mom and daddy. That ain't
bothering him. He ain't never asked you to meet them,
But when his mom and daddy was coming over his house,
(09:40):
you got to go.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Sister. Come on now, I won't let him meet my
parents until I met he is. Well, you ain't gonna
he ain't gonna never meet.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Him because I don't know how to introduce him. If
I say he's my boyfriend, he might correct me in
front of my daddy, and that would be in better.
If this ain't your boyfriend after two years, what are
you doing if you can't call him your boyfriend? You
just said y'all do everything together, spend the night, eat
all your meals, sleeping together, you work out together, even
(10:13):
hang out with your two sisters.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
But that ain't your boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
When I look back on how that situation began, I
didn't ask the right questions. He never told me he
was ready to settle down. We just started hanging out
a lot and having a great sex. Have I let
this go on for too long to start questioning him.
Let me tell you what you went too far without
and listen to me, careful, ladies, you went too long
(10:39):
without defining your relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You need a definition of what you have.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And ladies, you have every right to have a definition
of what you have because you're giving him your.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Most precious item that you have, your body. Now.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
You can give that to him, but he ain't got
to give you a definition.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Are you crazy? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
You lay in this bed with this man, y'all eat
all your meals together. He got tall the trees in
your house, y'all sleep together, you have great sex together.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
But you can't ask him what is this we have?
Speaker 3 (11:20):
You can't even run the risk of introducing him as
your boyfriend. Ladies, stop being in a relationship not knowing
what it is. You're not in a relationship, You're in
a situation. You can't even meet his mom and daddy.
He told you to get out when he was coming over,
(11:42):
and then you said, well, I'm not gonna introduce something
to my parents till i'd have met his.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
He ain't never asked you to meet your parents.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
He has no interest in meeting your parents.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Because you're not requiring a definition.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Stop this letter right now and get a definition from
this man of what you have. You may find out
that you have nothing. And if you have nothing, then
what are you in it for? I feel sorry for
the sister.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Really, don't give up two more years.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Two years and you can't even call him your boyfriend.
Two years and you ain't met his mama? What how
you dating a man's steady all the time and you
ain't met his parents yet?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And they in town because they stop back.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah, they stay right over.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Now that's crazy. This is it?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Really really is? Now? What about the part when when
he said, Steve, we need to decide where our relationship
is going before we make those kinds of moves.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Is that he's well, he's already decided. He just ain't
let you know now to buying time? Is we need
to decide? Okay, Look, the Bible says when a man finded.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
The wife, you find it a good thing and find
favor with the Lord.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
He ain't found you. You ain't it. You can't even
leave nothing at his house. And you're absolutely right. He
never told me he was ready to settle down because
he ain't settled down. You can't leave nothing at his house.
They get all this to what you're doing. Hey, take
this secret with you.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Don't all right?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Thank you, Steve, leave your comments.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Hey, you can't leave this summer's eve over here.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
A little j Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, at
Steve Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry
Letter podcast.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Makeupiscil, get it.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Radio app coming up next in his junior and sports talk.
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