April 13, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 49 year old married woman and my husband is 59. We’ve been married for 6 years and this is my first marriage and his second. We dated a good while before he asked me to marry him and when I accepted his proposal, I told him that I didn’t want to live in the house that he and his wife and kids lived in. He rented out his house and we bought a fixer-upper house in a great neighborhood............................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM. All you
have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter, and we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now,
and it might be yours. You never know, could be
(00:21):
it could be yours. Buckle up, hold on tight. We
got it for you. Here. It is Strawberry Letter. Thank
you nephew. Subject he's hiding money in our raggedy house.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty nine year old married
woman and my husband is fifty nine. We've been married
for six years and this is my first marriage and
his second. We dated a good while before he asked
(00:44):
me to marry him, and when I accepted his proposal,
I told him that I didn't want to live in
the house that he and his wife and kids lived in.
He rented out his house and we bought a fixer
upper house in a great neighborhood. I wanted a new house,
or at least one that was in great condition. He
promised me that he had some great contractors that would
(01:04):
make my dream a reality. The house is so old
that we still have linoleum taught linoleum tiles on the
kitchen floor. I contacted a professional company to get a
flooring estimate, and I wanted to replace all the laminate
countertops in the kitchens. It had been six years, and
I saved up money to do a few little things.
(01:25):
He hemmed and hawed, but he eventually helped me pick
out our flooring. He didn't offer to help me pay
for anything, because he said it was my impatience that
led to the renovation. A few weeks later, we were
packing up to go to my parents' home temporarily while
our floors are getting installed, and I just happened to
be peeking in at him in the bedroom. He carefully
(01:47):
pulled out a big envelope, pulled a big envelope out
of a shoe box, and I saw hundreds of dollars.
I ran into the room and tackled him and grabbed
the envelope. All he could say is that he had
to keep a stash because I love spending his money.
I don't know how he thought it was okay to
hide this large sum of money from me. I'm wondering
(02:09):
if you plan to leave me in this raggedy house?
Is that why he's not interested in doing any upgrades?
What is he up to? Well, before we get to that,
I just gotta say the visual of you busting in
the bedroom and tackling your huff but it's just a
little funny, Okay, that visual is funny, And I mean
(02:31):
you ask the question, what is he up to? Who
knows what mister secretive is up to? And why is
he being so shady with this money. I'm all for
having all for having your own money and not having
to always ask someone your husband in this case, for cash,
and of course there's also the house money and the
bill money. But just something about this doesn't sit well
(02:52):
with me. I mean, first, you say it's been six
years since you've been in this fixer upper and nothing
has been stop And didn't you also say that you
saved the money yourself with no help from your husband.
He said it was your impatience that led to the renovation.
I don't understand that statement. What is he talking about.
(03:13):
It's been six years since you guys have been in
that house and nothing has been done. I mean, as
his house too. He seems like he would want to remodel.
I mean, especially the linoleum floors. You know, the only
explanation he had for stashing is that you love to
spend his money. His money, I mean, it's our money
(03:33):
you got. You guys are married. You know you're spending
money on the house. You saved the money for the house.
Is he trying to say, if you knew he had
the secret money, you would have spent that on the
house or something else. I'm so confused with that statement.
I mean, what is his stash money for if it's
(03:55):
not for the house. He sounds just very cheap to me,
very selfish to me, And he doesn't have any intentions
after six years of fixing this house up, I don't
see that. So, so now that you know you've caught
him with this money, you need you need to find
out what he's up to. We don't know what he's
up to. Insist you know, if you guys are gonna
(04:17):
stay married on a joint bank account for the house,
for the renovations. It's been six years, let's go. You know,
both of you should be contributing, not just you. It's
his house too, and it's his chiefment, is his cheapness?
Why his first marriage fails. These are some of the
questions you need to ask him. If you find out
the answers to this, maybe you'll find out what you
(04:40):
know the money he stashed is all about. Other than that.
I don't know. This is crazy. You know he needs
your you need his help, Steve. I don't know about
this letter right here. I'm a little bit thrown off.
See he's had money in our raggedy house. But the
name of this letter to me is somebody life slash.
(05:03):
We ain't hid the whole truth. See, we're just not
hearing this whole story. I don't think because something is
missing in this story. It don't set right with me.
But you know, one of us Uncle Steve's favorite things
to do, and one of my skills sets is to
(05:23):
dig under the circus to find out what's really going on.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's go under the skinnon to find
out what's going on. Now. She forty nine. She her
husband is fifty nine. That's a ten year difference. Been
married six years, my first marriage, his second m that's
(05:47):
a little tale tale right there. This yr first time
he hadn't done this before. He's seen the movie before.
In other words, we dated a good while before he
asked me to marry him. When I accepted his proposal,
I told him I didn't want to live in the
house that he and his wife and kids live did
so guess what he did? He rented out his house.
He honored that request. That was a big one. This
(06:10):
man already owned the house, but you didn't want to
leave it, he said. Cool. He rented out the house
and he bought a fixer up. Our house in a
great neighborhood. I wanted a new house, or at least one.
Dad was in great condition. He promised me he has
some great contractors and he would make my dreams of reality.
The house is so old. We got linoleum tiles on
the kitchen floor. Our contracted a professional company to get
(06:33):
a flowing instrument. I wanted to replace all the laminate
countertops in the kitchen. And after this, I'll tell you
what happened. Why you ain't gotten a kitchen yet? All right,
Steve hold On, Part two of your responses coming up
at twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters
subject He's hiding money in our raggedy house. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right,
(06:56):
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He's
fighting money in our raggedy house. Yeah, you're having money
your raggedy house. Because we don't know the whole story.
But you've been married now for six years. He's rented
out the house. She told him you didn't want to
live in with his former wife and kids had, so
he rented it out as a good husband would doing.
(07:17):
He bought a fixer upper. You kind of wanted a
new house. He told you that he had some friends
and stuff and he'd get it fixed up. Well, you
wanted a new house. He said he had some contractors,
and the house is so old that y'all got linolean
floors on the kitchen, so you contacted professional come to
get a floor next men, and I wanted to replace
(07:37):
all the laminate countertops. It's been six years. I've saved
up money to do a few little things. He hemmed
in heart, but he eventually helped me pick out the flooring.
He didn't offer to help me to pay for anything,
because he said it was my impatience that led to
the renovation. Now, unless it's where the letter gets tricky,
(08:00):
it's your impatience that led to the renovation or was
it his lie that led to you having to save
up to get the renovation? To See, now we're about
to peel back somebody skin on this onion right here
and put tears in your ass. I think it's because
of the fact that he's been married before and you ain't.
(08:21):
He's seen this movie before. Now you're telling me that
you've been saving up a little bit of money for
this laminated float, right and he wasn't gonna go for it.
Whose kitchen is that? Being? How much that flow costs?
So I don't know how much you had to save,
but it's a kitchen float. I don't know what you saved.
I'm not passive judgment. I don't like to do that,
but you saved up your little bit of money. But
(08:42):
we're talking six years though, So what have you been
doing and what have y'all been doing with the money
for six years? See, you've been buying something and I
think you may be buying some stuff that ain't got
nothing to do nothing? And he saw his money slipping
away like he did with his previous wife, so he
(09:04):
started stashing money before she get our hands on this
right here too, That's what I think happened, you know,
And then I see, here's here's what led me to
say that. A few weeks later, we were packing up
to go to my parents' home temporarily while your floors
(09:25):
were getting installed, which means the floors was in the
process of getting done, right. I just happened to be
peeking in at him in the bedroom. He carefully pulled
a big envelope out of a shoe box, and I
saw hundreds of dollars. You, being a gold digger that
you are, ran into the room and tackled and grabbed
the envelope. Dove on the man. Now, he was surprised
(09:48):
because obviously you blindsided him. He didn't see it coming.
You make his head jerk, back, slob or wrapped around
his head a little bit. He know what was happening
because you tackled him in his lower back because he
had that envelope down low count that money. All he
could say is he had to keep a stash because
I love spending his money. That's the key. See, for
(10:08):
six years he'd been watching you spend money on all
types of stuff. Now you come up with you on
a floor. Now this man going away? Minute, man, hold on,
I've been chipping in. We've been doing this here. You
got me written out this house that I already paid for.
Now you over here. We were trying to do something else,
but you just spending money. You mess around after six
years and save the money for a damn flow and
(10:31):
now you in't here tackling me for cash. See how
that look He thought it was okay. I don't know
how he thought it was okay to hide this large
sum of money for me. I do because he didn't
want you to spend it. That's why he was hiding.
I'm wondering if he planned to leave me in this
ragged house. Is that why he's not interested in doing
(10:54):
any upgrades? What's he up to? Well, seemed to me
like he's up to what you ain't up to, trying
to save a little bit of money, because he said
you'd be spending all his money. And a man will
do that. A man will hire some money if you
think you're gonna spend it all. Every man I know
hasn't done. But what about the line about her impatience
(11:18):
led to the renovation. What does that mean. They've been
in the house for six years and they still haven't
gotten it renovated. I said when I read the letter,
I don't think it's her impatience that's led to the renovation. Bore,
It is his lie that led to her wanted to
do the renovation. The woman got every right to want
to fix her house up. Most women like living in
(11:40):
nice home, and it's a representative of a woman when
people come over your house and your house save rights.
The woman takes the blame for that, not the man.
Thank you know what she in here doing, how she
got all this food, and how she who decorated this
right here? What's she I understand it. That's not her fault.
(12:02):
He lied and said he's gonna fix the house up.
But what happened was as he was trying to save,
he was just watching her spending. So now, hold up,
I can't take what I'm saving and renovate this house
because she's spending all other money. Let me save some
of this money, which would I would be spending on
renovating the house. But since she's spending all the money,
(12:24):
we ain't gonna have no damn money. That's how she
found him hiding the money in the envelope. But now
she didn't manage to save up a little bit of
money get this flow done after six years. But he
got to flow money in that box. He got to
flow money and wall money in the box. I think
what happened here is we have a spending problem, which
is leads to more divorces finance than even infidelity. And
(12:47):
y'all will get you will get left in that ragged
ass house if you keep spending money like that. Whole
damn letters your fault. He needs to help her fix
up that house all right down so she can make
him a home. Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry
Letter on Instagram and Facebook. It's not about Facebook and
(13:10):
Instagram on Steve HARVEYFM dot com and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next it is
Sports Talked with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to
the same Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM. All you
have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter, and we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now,
and it might be yours. You never know, could be
(00:21):
it could be yours. Buckle up, hold on tight. We
got it for you. Here. It is Strawberry Letter. Thank
you nephew. Subject he's hiding money in our raggedy house.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty nine year old married
woman and my husband is fifty nine. We've been married
for six years and this is my first marriage and
his second. We dated a good while before he asked
(00:44):
me to marry him, and when I accepted his proposal,
I told him that I didn't want to live in
the house that he and his wife and kids lived in.
He rented out his house and we bought a fixer
upper house in a great neighborhood. I wanted a new house,
or at least one that was in great condition. He
promised me that he had some great contractors that would
(01:04):
make my dream a reality. The house is so old
that we still have linoleum taught linoleum tiles on the
kitchen floor. I contacted a professional company to get a
flooring estimate, and I wanted to replace all the laminate
countertops in the kitchens. It had been six years, and
I saved up money to do a few little things.
(01:25):
He hemmed and hawed, but he eventually helped me pick
out our flooring. He didn't offer to help me pay
for anything, because he said it was my impatience that
led to the renovation. A few weeks later, we were
packing up to go to my parents' home temporarily while
our floors are getting installed, and I just happened to
be peeking in at him in the bedroom. He carefully
(01:47):
pulled out a big envelope, pulled a big envelope out
of a shoe box, and I saw hundreds of dollars.
I ran into the room and tackled him and grabbed
the envelope. All he could say is that he had
to keep a stash because I love spending his money.
I don't know how he thought it was okay to
hide this large sum of money from me. I'm wondering
(02:09):
if you plan to leave me in this raggedy house?
Is that why he's not interested in doing any upgrades?
What is he up to? Well, before we get to that,
I just gotta say the visual of you busting in
the bedroom and tackling your huff but it's just a
little funny, Okay, that visual is funny, And I mean
(02:31):
you ask the question, what is he up to? Who
knows what mister secretive is up to? And why is
he being so shady with this money. I'm all for
having all for having your own money and not having
to always ask someone your husband in this case, for cash,
and of course there's also the house money and the
bill money. But just something about this doesn't sit well
(02:52):
with me. I mean, first, you say it's been six
years since you've been in this fixer upper and nothing
has been stop And didn't you also say that you
saved the money yourself with no help from your husband.
He said it was your impatience that led to the renovation.
I don't understand that statement. What is he talking about.
(03:13):
It's been six years since you guys have been in
that house and nothing has been done. I mean, as
his house too. He seems like he would want to remodel.
I mean, especially the linoleum floors. You know, the only
explanation he had for stashing is that you love to
spend his money. His money, I mean, it's our money
(03:33):
you got. You guys are married. You know you're spending
money on the house. You saved the money for the house.
Is he trying to say, if you knew he had
the secret money, you would have spent that on the
house or something else. I'm so confused with that statement.
I mean, what is his stash money for if it's
(03:55):
not for the house. He sounds just very cheap to me,
very selfish to me, And he doesn't have any intentions
after six years of fixing this house up, I don't
see that. So, so now that you know you've caught
him with this money, you need you need to find
out what he's up to. We don't know what he's
up to. Insist you know, if you guys are gonna
(04:17):
stay married on a joint bank account for the house,
for the renovations. It's been six years, let's go. You know,
both of you should be contributing, not just you. It's
his house too, and it's his chiefment, is his cheapness?
Why his first marriage fails. These are some of the
questions you need to ask him. If you find out
the answers to this, maybe you'll find out what you
(04:40):
know the money he stashed is all about. Other than that.
I don't know. This is crazy. You know he needs
your you need his help, Steve. I don't know about
this letter right here. I'm a little bit thrown off.
See he's had money in our raggedy house. But the
name of this letter to me is somebody life slash.
(05:03):
We ain't hid the whole truth. See, we're just not
hearing this whole story. I don't think because something is
missing in this story. It don't set right with me.
But you know, one of us Uncle Steve's favorite things
to do, and one of my skills sets is to
(05:23):
dig under the circus to find out what's really going on.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's go under the skinnon to find
out what's going on. Now. She forty nine. She her
husband is fifty nine. That's a ten year difference. Been
married six years, my first marriage, his second m that's
(05:47):
a little tale tale right there. This yr first time
he hadn't done this before. He's seen the movie before.
In other words, we dated a good while before he
asked me to marry him. When I accepted his proposal,
I told him I didn't want to live in the
house that he and his wife and kids live did
so guess what he did? He rented out his house.
He honored that request. That was a big one. This
(06:10):
man already owned the house, but you didn't want to
leave it, he said. Cool. He rented out the house
and he bought a fixer up. Our house in a
great neighborhood. I wanted a new house, or at least one.
Dad was in great condition. He promised me he has
some great contractors and he would make my dreams of reality.
The house is so old. We got linoleum tiles on
the kitchen floor. Our contracted a professional company to get
(06:33):
a flowing instrument. I wanted to replace all the laminate
countertops in the kitchen. And after this, I'll tell you
what happened. Why you ain't gotten a kitchen yet? All right,
Steve hold On, Part two of your responses coming up
at twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters
subject He's hiding money in our raggedy house. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right,
(06:56):
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He's
fighting money in our raggedy house. Yeah, you're having money
your raggedy house. Because we don't know the whole story.
But you've been married now for six years. He's rented
out the house. She told him you didn't want to
live in with his former wife and kids had, so
he rented it out as a good husband would doing.
(07:17):
He bought a fixer upper. You kind of wanted a
new house. He told you that he had some friends
and stuff and he'd get it fixed up. Well, you
wanted a new house. He said he had some contractors,
and the house is so old that y'all got linolean
floors on the kitchen, so you contacted professional come to
get a floor next men, and I wanted to replace
(07:37):
all the laminate countertops. It's been six years. I've saved
up money to do a few little things. He hemmed
in heart, but he eventually helped me pick out the flooring.
He didn't offer to help me to pay for anything,
because he said it was my impatience that led to
the renovation. Now, unless it's where the letter gets tricky,
(08:00):
it's your impatience that led to the renovation or was
it his lie that led to you having to save
up to get the renovation? To See, now we're about
to peel back somebody skin on this onion right here
and put tears in your ass. I think it's because
of the fact that he's been married before and you ain't.
(08:21):
He's seen this movie before. Now you're telling me that
you've been saving up a little bit of money for
this laminated float, right and he wasn't gonna go for it.
Whose kitchen is that? Being? How much that flow costs?
So I don't know how much you had to save,
but it's a kitchen float. I don't know what you saved.
I'm not passive judgment. I don't like to do that,
but you saved up your little bit of money. But
(08:42):
we're talking six years though, So what have you been
doing and what have y'all been doing with the money
for six years? See, you've been buying something and I
think you may be buying some stuff that ain't got
nothing to do nothing? And he saw his money slipping
away like he did with his previous wife, so he
(09:04):
started stashing money before she get our hands on this
right here too, That's what I think happened, you know,
And then I see, here's here's what led me to
say that. A few weeks later, we were packing up
to go to my parents' home temporarily while your floors
(09:25):
were getting installed, which means the floors was in the
process of getting done, right. I just happened to be
peeking in at him in the bedroom. He carefully pulled
a big envelope out of a shoe box, and I
saw hundreds of dollars. You, being a gold digger that
you are, ran into the room and tackled and grabbed
the envelope. Dove on the man. Now, he was surprised
(09:48):
because obviously you blindsided him. He didn't see it coming.
You make his head jerk, back, slob or wrapped around
his head a little bit. He know what was happening
because you tackled him in his lower back because he
had that envelope down low count that money. All he
could say is he had to keep a stash because
I love spending his money. That's the key. See, for
(10:08):
six years he'd been watching you spend money on all
types of stuff. Now you come up with you on
a floor. Now this man going away? Minute, man, hold on,
I've been chipping in. We've been doing this here. You
got me written out this house that I already paid for.
Now you over here. We were trying to do something else,
but you just spending money. You mess around after six
years and save the money for a damn flow and
(10:31):
now you in't here tackling me for cash. See how
that look He thought it was okay. I don't know
how he thought it was okay to hide this large
sum of money for me. I do because he didn't
want you to spend it. That's why he was hiding.
I'm wondering if he planned to leave me in this
ragged house. Is that why he's not interested in doing
(10:54):
any upgrades? What's he up to? Well, seemed to me
like he's up to what you ain't up to, trying
to save a little bit of money, because he said
you'd be spending all his money. And a man will
do that. A man will hire some money if you
think you're gonna spend it all. Every man I know
hasn't done. But what about the line about her impatience
(11:18):
led to the renovation. What does that mean. They've been
in the house for six years and they still haven't
gotten it renovated. I said when I read the letter,
I don't think it's her impatience that's led to the renovation. Bore,
It is his lie that led to her wanted to
do the renovation. The woman got every right to want
to fix her house up. Most women like living in
(11:40):
nice home, and it's a representative of a woman when
people come over your house and your house save rights.
The woman takes the blame for that, not the man.
Thank you know what she in here doing, how she
got all this food, and how she who decorated this
right here? What's she I understand it. That's not her fault.
(12:02):
He lied and said he's gonna fix the house up.
But what happened was as he was trying to save,
he was just watching her spending. So now, hold up,
I can't take what I'm saving and renovate this house
because she's spending all other money. Let me save some
of this money, which would I would be spending on
renovating the house. But since she's spending all the money,
(12:24):
we ain't gonna have no damn money. That's how she
found him hiding the money in the envelope. But now
she didn't manage to save up a little bit of
money get this flow done after six years. But he
got to flow money in that box. He got to
flow money and wall money in the box. I think
what happened here is we have a spending problem, which
is leads to more divorces finance than even infidelity. And
(12:47):
y'all will get you will get left in that ragged
ass house if you keep spending money like that. Whole
damn letters your fault. He needs to help her fix
up that house all right down so she can make
him a home. Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry
Letter on Instagram and Facebook. It's not about Facebook and
(13:10):
Instagram on Steve HARVEYFM dot com and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next it is
Sports Talked with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to
the same Harvey Morning Show
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