July 21, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Monday, July 21st, 2025. Subject: "Hip Hop & Jazzy"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you need advice on relationships, on work, on sex,
on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to
STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it. Pull you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Thank you nephew. Subject hip hop and jazzy. I'll say
it again, hip hop and jazzy. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm
a fifty two year old divorced woman dating a man
that is fifty seven years old. We've been together almost
a year, but we have fundamental differences that might break
us up. We met at my cousin's fortieth birthday party.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
He was a DJ, so I.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Asked him to play some classic R and B hits
because all he was playing was hip hop and we
had a lot of older people at the party that
weren't into the rap and hip hop music. We got
into a shout match because he said he didn't take requests.
I ended up leaving a few minutes later because the
music was too loud and.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Giving me a headache.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
He got my number and called to personally apologized and
asked me to meet him for a drink. We went
to a nice jazz club, and that's the music I love.
He says he loves it too. We went on a
few more dates and I started falling for him. He's
an insurance agent and he DJs on the weekend. Because
of that, I'm finding out he has two different personalities,
(01:31):
and it seems like he's stuck in his thirties.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
When he was.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Djaying for a big rapper. At first, he dressed like
a fifty seven year old man. Now he wears jerseys
and Jordan's when we go out, and I'm always dressed
like a grown woman. He invites me to go to
his DJ gigs with him, but I honestly can't deal
with all that bass and ignorant lyrics in his type
of music. At his house, he plays all rap when
(01:57):
I'm there. He says, it's okay to be different and opposite.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's a tract.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
He said.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
He really likes me, but I am focused on the
wrong things. I want to date a grown man that
enjoys grown man things I don't enjoy shopping for hip
hop clothes with him, or sitting home alone while he's
out at the club. Is his immaturity a deal breaker?
Or should I get on his level? Well, my fifty
seven year old man ever grow up? That is the question.
(02:26):
Well I just have to say, you know, here we
go again. Listen to you, listen to you. Just trying
to change him, that's what we do. I guess it's
the nurturers in us that we always try to rebuild
a man. I mean, we tell ladies on the show
all the time, you cannot change a man, you know,
we can only change ourselves. Remember that first night you
(02:47):
met him, you guys got into a shouting match at
his job as a hip hop DJ. That's what he
was when you met him. Now you want him to
be someone else. The truth is, I think he's comfortable
being who he is and he doesn't see the point
in changing for you right now or maybe never. But
I don't want you to change either. I don't want
(03:09):
you to change. I can't even believe that you're considering changing.
You asked us if you should get on his level.
I say, no, you know, just be who you are too.
This man is just not for you. He's not the one.
And although you may be right in everything you're saying
about him growing up and being immature and all of that,
it doesn't matter because he's not going to do it.
(03:31):
I mean, his look, his act, go with his weekend job,
and that's how he makes his money. Yes, he is
fifty seven and plays and likes rap and wears hip
hop gear. That's it. I mean, it could be a
lot worse. I say, but you know, we like who
we like, we want who we want. We just you know,
can't want to change them. So I say, step aside.
(03:52):
Let him have all that. Let him have the club,
let him have the clothes, let him have the hip hop,
all of that. That's what he likes, while you wait
for your own man who likes jazz like you like.
Because the DJ is apparently a deal breaker for you,
and that's okay, that is okay. You just may not
be you know, you guys just may not want to
be together or have to be together or can be
(04:14):
together because of it.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Steve, I agree with you in this response to this
letter the Ladies off. You know, Shirley said this on
this show, how many times do we tell y'all Op
and oven over, stop trying to fix these men, stop
(04:39):
collecting red flags, leave them in the ground. Some of
y'all riding around with a truck full of red flags,
lead them flags stuck in the ground.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
You you got enough problems.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're too old for this. What you need this in
your life? Faull it starting it wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It had a.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Moment in that way, and when old Kay did it
flipped right on back to Rome. You fifty two, he
fifty seven. We've been together almost a year now. That
means they're sleeping together. But we have fundamental differences. Fundamental difference.
Fundamentals build up from what people are with fundamentally this way,
(05:29):
for the fundamentals of a person are the foundation of
who they are. The fundamentals of your relationship will be
what your foundation in the relationship is built on. That's
my interpretation of fundamental differences.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I was at my cousin's funny birthday party.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
He was a DJI ask him place with Classic NB
because he was just playing hip hop. A lot of
older people at the party went into the rapping hip
hop music. We got into a shouting match because he
said he don't take request? Well, why is you at
an old people party? Hire you to DJ and don't
take requests? And you at old people party? Do you
(06:10):
know that's how we party on request? You know how
many times I went up to the DJ booth and say, hey, man,
you can't you gotta slow down some of these records. Man,
we need some slow jams in here. What you think
we're in here for? See back in the club, if
you played five fast records in the row, somebody came
up to the DJ booth and say, hey, pimp, what
you think we in here for? We gotta talk to
(06:33):
these girls. We gotta get in they hear. Ain't nobody
invented cell phones yet? Hey, get in their ear right now.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour Today. Strawberry letter title
is hip hop and jazzy. We'll get back into it
right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. Have you thought about
buying life insurance to protect yourself and your family? Globe
Life Insurance is easy to understand and easy to buy,
with coverage amounts up to one hundred thousand dollars. The
application process is quick there is no medical exam, just
(07:13):
a simple application called globe Life Today at one eight
hundred two five one fifty four hundred, or visit globelifradio
dot com again. That's one eight hundred two five one
fifty four hundred or Globelifradio dot com. All right, come on, Steve,
Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject hip hop and jazzy.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
This couple is fundamentally different. She's divorced fifty two, he
fifty seven. The fundamental differences is all in this letter.
But it started he was ding at DJ in the
party for her cousin. Now it's the old people at
the party. She go up there. He paying all rap music.
It ain't going good. She go up there and asked
him to change your music. Can she play something else?
(07:52):
They get into a shouting match because he said he
don't take request. He already at the wrong party. That's
how we survived back in the day. He was slow jams.
Slow jams was the only way we could get up
on this woman and talk to her. And you couldn't
play more than five fast records in the row at
the club back in the day because we had to
slow jail because we got to get up on these
(08:13):
women and talk to him because unbeknownst to us, but
no one had invented a cell phone back then, so
we got to get all that conversation in.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Now, she said, I ended.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Up leaving a few minutes later because the music was
too loud and giving me a headache. He got my
number and call to personally apologize and asked me to
meet him for a drink. Y'all went to a jazz
club and that that's the music I love. He said,
he loves it too. We went on a few more
dates and I started falling for it. He's an insurance
agent and DJ's on the weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
That's another fundamental difference.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
One of my best friends is an All State agent.
He don't DJ on the weekends because he the All
State agent be out here talking about getting paying people
death benefits and rescue in they house, and you at
the club talking.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
About Ray Arsen up Ray like you just so that's
a fundamental difference.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Now, she said, because of that, I'm finding out he
got two different personalities and it seems like he's stuck
in the thirties when he is DJing for a big rapper.
At first, he dressed like his fifty seven year old man.
Wait a minute, what you mean? It seems like he
stuck what you met him DJ and hip hop music.
What's the new discovery? Hell, he ain't up that DJ
(09:38):
in music.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He don't like.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
He played what he likes. Now you find out he
got two different personnalities. Seemed like he's stuck in his
thirties when he's DJing for a big rapper. He been
showing you this the whole time you met him. It's
tarnet at the party.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Now he wears.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
At first he dressed like a fifty seven year old man.
Now he wear jerseys and George's when we go out,
and I'm always dressed like a grown woman.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I've seen this out before. It's not a good look.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
We've all seen this out where the woman had on
the nice dress, heels and she's sitting over there to
this man with this iron T shirt looking like a
food I'm sorry, Brus, I'm just gonna put it out there.
If you're dating a grown adult woman, then you need
to dress like a grown adult man.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Lead them tennis shoes at home.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Put some slacks of dressed shirt and get you a
button down shirt and put you some shoes on. Sitting
up across from this woman, she gonna put a dress on,
and yolk got some jeans and a big shirt on
and a jersey. I don't know nobody greater than me,
so I'm not wearing your jersey. I'm sitting up in
(10:50):
a Lebron James jersey.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Lebron.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Ain't me dog sitting up putting promoting staff carry look
like skinned. I'm sending a grown old, big little man.
I got a little light skin ball on my chest. Man,
grow your tuck. Wearing other me and his clothes and stuff.
I can't stay a dudes wed. I'm just gonna put
it out there now. And then he invites me to
(11:12):
go to the DJ gigs with him, but I honestly
can't deal with all that base and ignorant lygs and
his type of music. At his house he plays all
rap when I'm there. He said it's okay to be different,
and opposite is a track, and he said he really
likes me.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
But I'm focused on the wrong things. No you not, No,
you're not.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
You better focus on these differences because that's what you're
gonna have to live with. The differences, and if you
can't deal with the differences, then stop dealing with him,
because it's obvious he ain't fit to change. I want
a date a grown man that enjoyge grown man things.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Well, it ain't him.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I don't enjoy shopping for hip hip hop clothes he do.
I don't like shopping for hip hoop clothes with him,
or sitting home alone while he's out of the club.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Why would you sign up for this? At fifty two?
You got an older man that's.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Blissed sixty all his free time here in the club,
he wearing sneakers in jerseys. You sitting over there with
your dress on with your legs crossed. Is his immaturity
a deal breaking? Well it is for me.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
And sure.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Now if you won't date this little man that's stuck
in the past, that thinks he's somebody, he ain't a rapper,
obviously he didn't make it. He don't DJ for the
big time rapper, No bore, because the big time rappers
somewhere raising the family right now. He don't have that
because it's got to go to the club and he
(12:45):
insurance agents. Is his immaturity deal breaker? Or should I
get on his level. So what you're asking us is
should I lower yourself down, stop wanting what I want,
and just give him everything he wants? How do you
expect to stay happy in that? Because you're not fit
to start liking map news. You're just not And that's okay. Well,
(13:10):
my fifty seven year old man, ever grow up. You
don't have a fifty seven year.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Old man, all right, Leave us your comments, thank you,
Leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram
and Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Ten seconds you're actually dating a real old looking boy.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you need advice on relationships, on work, on sex,
on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to
STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it. Pull you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Thank you nephew. Subject hip hop and jazzy. I'll say
it again, hip hop and jazzy. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm
a fifty two year old divorced woman dating a man
that is fifty seven years old. We've been together almost
a year, but we have fundamental differences that might break
us up. We met at my cousin's fortieth birthday party.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
He was a DJ, so I.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Asked him to play some classic R and B hits
because all he was playing was hip hop and we
had a lot of older people at the party that
weren't into the rap and hip hop music. We got
into a shout match because he said he didn't take requests.
I ended up leaving a few minutes later because the
music was too loud and.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Giving me a headache.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
He got my number and called to personally apologized and
asked me to meet him for a drink. We went
to a nice jazz club, and that's the music I love.
He says he loves it too. We went on a
few more dates and I started falling for him. He's
an insurance agent and he DJs on the weekend. Because
of that, I'm finding out he has two different personalities,
(01:31):
and it seems like he's stuck in his thirties.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
When he was.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Djaying for a big rapper. At first, he dressed like
a fifty seven year old man. Now he wears jerseys
and Jordan's when we go out, and I'm always dressed
like a grown woman. He invites me to go to
his DJ gigs with him, but I honestly can't deal
with all that bass and ignorant lyrics in his type
of music. At his house, he plays all rap when
(01:57):
I'm there. He says, it's okay to be different and opposite.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's a tract.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
He said.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
He really likes me, but I am focused on the
wrong things. I want to date a grown man that
enjoys grown man things I don't enjoy shopping for hip
hop clothes with him, or sitting home alone while he's
out at the club. Is his immaturity a deal breaker?
Or should I get on his level? Well, my fifty
seven year old man ever grow up? That is the question.
(02:26):
Well I just have to say, you know, here we
go again. Listen to you, listen to you. Just trying
to change him, that's what we do. I guess it's
the nurturers in us that we always try to rebuild
a man. I mean, we tell ladies on the show
all the time, you cannot change a man, you know,
we can only change ourselves. Remember that first night you
(02:47):
met him, you guys got into a shouting match at
his job as a hip hop DJ. That's what he
was when you met him. Now you want him to
be someone else. The truth is, I think he's comfortable
being who he is and he doesn't see the point
in changing for you right now or maybe never. But
I don't want you to change either. I don't want
(03:09):
you to change. I can't even believe that you're considering changing.
You asked us if you should get on his level.
I say, no, you know, just be who you are too.
This man is just not for you. He's not the one.
And although you may be right in everything you're saying
about him growing up and being immature and all of that,
it doesn't matter because he's not going to do it.
(03:31):
I mean, his look, his act, go with his weekend job,
and that's how he makes his money. Yes, he is
fifty seven and plays and likes rap and wears hip
hop gear. That's it. I mean, it could be a
lot worse. I say, but you know, we like who
we like, we want who we want. We just you know,
can't want to change them. So I say, step aside.
(03:52):
Let him have all that. Let him have the club,
let him have the clothes, let him have the hip hop,
all of that. That's what he likes, while you wait
for your own man who likes jazz like you like.
Because the DJ is apparently a deal breaker for you,
and that's okay, that is okay. You just may not
be you know, you guys just may not want to
be together or have to be together or can be
(04:14):
together because of it.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Steve, I agree with you in this response to this
letter the Ladies off. You know, Shirley said this on
this show, how many times do we tell y'all Op
and oven over, stop trying to fix these men, stop
(04:39):
collecting red flags, leave them in the ground. Some of
y'all riding around with a truck full of red flags,
lead them flags stuck in the ground.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
You you got enough problems.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're too old for this. What you need this in
your life? Faull it starting it wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It had a.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Moment in that way, and when old Kay did it
flipped right on back to Rome. You fifty two, he
fifty seven. We've been together almost a year now. That
means they're sleeping together. But we have fundamental differences. Fundamental difference.
Fundamentals build up from what people are with fundamentally this way,
(05:29):
for the fundamentals of a person are the foundation of
who they are. The fundamentals of your relationship will be
what your foundation in the relationship is built on. That's
my interpretation of fundamental differences.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I was at my cousin's funny birthday party.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
He was a DJI ask him place with Classic NB
because he was just playing hip hop. A lot of
older people at the party went into the rapping hip
hop music. We got into a shouting match because he
said he don't take request? Well, why is you at
an old people party? Hire you to DJ and don't
take requests? And you at old people party? Do you
(06:10):
know that's how we party on request? You know how
many times I went up to the DJ booth and say, hey, man,
you can't you gotta slow down some of these records. Man,
we need some slow jams in here. What you think
we're in here for? See back in the club, if
you played five fast records in the row, somebody came
up to the DJ booth and say, hey, pimp, what
you think we in here for? We gotta talk to
(06:33):
these girls. We gotta get in they hear. Ain't nobody
invented cell phones yet? Hey, get in their ear right now.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour Today. Strawberry letter title
is hip hop and jazzy. We'll get back into it
right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. Have you thought about
buying life insurance to protect yourself and your family? Globe
Life Insurance is easy to understand and easy to buy,
with coverage amounts up to one hundred thousand dollars. The
application process is quick there is no medical exam, just
(07:13):
a simple application called globe Life Today at one eight
hundred two five one fifty four hundred, or visit globelifradio
dot com again. That's one eight hundred two five one
fifty four hundred or Globelifradio dot com. All right, come on, Steve,
Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject hip hop and jazzy.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
This couple is fundamentally different. She's divorced fifty two, he
fifty seven. The fundamental differences is all in this letter.
But it started he was ding at DJ in the
party for her cousin. Now it's the old people at
the party. She go up there. He paying all rap music.
It ain't going good. She go up there and asked
him to change your music. Can she play something else?
(07:52):
They get into a shouting match because he said he
don't take request. He already at the wrong party. That's
how we survived back in the day. He was slow jams.
Slow jams was the only way we could get up
on this woman and talk to her. And you couldn't
play more than five fast records in the row at
the club back in the day because we had to
slow jail because we got to get up on these
(08:13):
women and talk to him because unbeknownst to us, but
no one had invented a cell phone back then, so
we got to get all that conversation in.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Now, she said, I ended.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Up leaving a few minutes later because the music was
too loud and giving me a headache. He got my
number and call to personally apologize and asked me to
meet him for a drink. Y'all went to a jazz
club and that that's the music I love. He said,
he loves it too. We went on a few more
dates and I started falling for it. He's an insurance
agent and DJ's on the weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
That's another fundamental difference.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
One of my best friends is an All State agent.
He don't DJ on the weekends because he the All
State agent be out here talking about getting paying people
death benefits and rescue in they house, and you at
the club talking.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
About Ray Arsen up Ray like you just so that's
a fundamental difference.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Now, she said, because of that, I'm finding out he
got two different personalities and it seems like he's stuck
in the thirties when he is DJing for a big rapper.
At first, he dressed like his fifty seven year old man.
Wait a minute, what you mean? It seems like he
stuck what you met him DJ and hip hop music.
What's the new discovery? Hell, he ain't up that DJ
(09:38):
in music.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He don't like.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
He played what he likes. Now you find out he
got two different personnalities. Seemed like he's stuck in his
thirties when he's DJing for a big rapper. He been
showing you this the whole time you met him. It's
tarnet at the party.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Now he wears.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
At first he dressed like a fifty seven year old man.
Now he wear jerseys and George's when we go out,
and I'm always dressed like a grown woman.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I've seen this out before. It's not a good look.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
We've all seen this out where the woman had on
the nice dress, heels and she's sitting over there to
this man with this iron T shirt looking like a
food I'm sorry, Brus, I'm just gonna put it out there.
If you're dating a grown adult woman, then you need
to dress like a grown adult man.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Lead them tennis shoes at home.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Put some slacks of dressed shirt and get you a
button down shirt and put you some shoes on. Sitting
up across from this woman, she gonna put a dress on,
and yolk got some jeans and a big shirt on
and a jersey. I don't know nobody greater than me,
so I'm not wearing your jersey. I'm sitting up in
(10:50):
a Lebron James jersey.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Lebron.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Ain't me dog sitting up putting promoting staff carry look
like skinned. I'm sending a grown old, big little man.
I got a little light skin ball on my chest. Man,
grow your tuck. Wearing other me and his clothes and stuff.
I can't stay a dudes wed. I'm just gonna put
it out there now. And then he invites me to
(11:12):
go to the DJ gigs with him, but I honestly
can't deal with all that base and ignorant lygs and
his type of music. At his house he plays all
rap when I'm there. He said it's okay to be different,
and opposite is a track, and he said he really
likes me.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
But I'm focused on the wrong things. No you not, No,
you're not.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
You better focus on these differences because that's what you're
gonna have to live with. The differences, and if you
can't deal with the differences, then stop dealing with him,
because it's obvious he ain't fit to change. I want
a date a grown man that enjoyge grown man things.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Well, it ain't him.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I don't enjoy shopping for hip hip hop clothes he do.
I don't like shopping for hip hoop clothes with him,
or sitting home alone while he's out of the club.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Why would you sign up for this? At fifty two?
You got an older man that's.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Blissed sixty all his free time here in the club,
he wearing sneakers in jerseys. You sitting over there with
your dress on with your legs crossed. Is his immaturity
a deal breaking? Well it is for me.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
And sure.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Now if you won't date this little man that's stuck
in the past, that thinks he's somebody, he ain't a rapper,
obviously he didn't make it. He don't DJ for the
big time rapper, No bore, because the big time rappers
somewhere raising the family right now. He don't have that
because it's got to go to the club and he
(12:45):
insurance agents. Is his immaturity deal breaker? Or should I
get on his level. So what you're asking us is
should I lower yourself down, stop wanting what I want,
and just give him everything he wants? How do you
expect to stay happy in that? Because you're not fit
to start liking map news. You're just not And that's okay. Well,
(13:10):
my fifty seven year old man, ever grow up. You
don't have a fifty seven year.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Old man, all right, Leave us your comments, thank you,
Leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram
and Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Ten seconds you're actually dating a real old looking boy.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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