Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for my Strawberry Letter for today,
and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to STEVEARBFM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We could be reading your letter live on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now,
and you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It could be yours. Muggle up in hole, long time
we got it for you here it is strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Let us thanking a few subjects. You will ex His
ex is staying with us for a week.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Just Stephen.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Surely I'm not an evil person, but I will speak
up if I feel like I'm being played.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
For a fool.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
My husband was in a long term relationship that gave
him two beautiful children. He's best of friends with the
children's mom, and I like her a lot too. She
even came to my last birthday celebration because she happened
to be in town. My husband and I drive to
get the kids and we take them back home so
she doesn't have to drive the two hours. Co parenting
(01:04):
was great until recently my husband felt the need to
remind me that he's the parent and I'm the step parent.
After he agreed to let the kid's mom stay at
our house for a week. Mind you, she's at my
house while I'm sending this letter to you guys. She
had a big flood in her area, so we jumped
in to help her get things out of her house
(01:25):
and move them to her mom's house. We ended up
taking the kids back home with us the next day.
She got a minimal She got minimum water damage, but
the house had to dry out. She called my husband
and gave him a sob story about missing her kids.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
There is no room for.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
The kids in her mom's house, so he suggested that
she drive to our house and stay here for a
few days. He told me she was coming, and I
assumed he meant she was getting a hotel room. Then
he asked me to help him put sheets on an
air mattress for her.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I asked for who for who? You know how we
do for who have rolled our eyes?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
You know she rolled her?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, you did exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
He told me that I should be mature enough to
let the kids mom stay with us for a few days.
I haven't been able to go off on him because
the kids were here, and now their mama is too,
so so what we're all cool? He took it too
far by letting her stay here.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Am I being evil? Or did he cross the line? Okay,
did he cross the line?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Are you being evil?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
And if you are, who cares at your house? But
first of all, I do want to thank you for
stepping in and helping take care of his kids. We
always compliment men when they take on helping raise the
kids of another man, So yeah, we want to thank
you for that. And no, you are not being evil
as a so called step mom. You've gone over and
(02:53):
aboard what is necessary. This is crazy and you've been
way too good to his kids for him to put
you down like that when they are in your house.
You are the mom to these kids. I'm sure you've
grown to love them too. You said they're beautiful children.
What your husband did is wrong. It's very disrespectful to
(03:15):
you and to the marriage. The fact that he didn't
discuss with you that his ex was coming to stay
at your house. What there are a lot of hotels nearby.
I'm sure that was just foul. He was the one
being immature. He said you were immature. That was a
discussion that needed to be had before she came. He
(03:35):
knew you would say no, or at least ask what why,
so he decided on his own to let her stay
there without any consideration as to how you, his wife,
were going to feel about this.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
His ex staying at your house?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Come on, this is beyond crazy, and he was talking
to you crazy too. He should never treat you badly
to make his baby mama feel good or feel comfortable.
This is your house too. Would he be okay with
you inviting your ex to stay there for a week?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
But we all know the answer to that, and it's no.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Thank you for not arguing while the kids are there,
but as soon as they all leave, you need to
let your husband have it, and you need to let
him hear how you feel.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Tommy, she can't stay at our house, point blank. And
I don't care what disaster it is. Flood, hurricane, pseutonomy, cardnata, avalanche, earthquake,
hide the wave, far as fire.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
You can't stay here.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Y'all didn't pay how many hotels between that house and
our house? It's too many of them. Red roof we
didn't pay it. About the red roof in we didn't
pay it. By motel si. We didn't pay them by
the courtyard. We didn't pay it by a day's end.
It's a whole bunch of places that you could stay
other than this house. In the last thing I'm fins
to do is put some sheets on this a mattress
(05:00):
with you.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
That's the last thing I'm finna do with you.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
So, first of all, your husband is completely out of line.
One line that you do not cross is bringing your
ex into your home. And you have not even discussed
this with your wife. You didn't even ask your wife permission.
You just you just ask her to help you put
some sheets on. He coming over here to get what
man do that? One man don't ask his wife if
(05:26):
this is okay with you, poor man, don't do that.
This is your wife. This is you want to make
sure if nobody else is happy, your wife happy. So
you want to make sure you talk to your wife
and say, hey, listen, in the situation, you know it's
been a flood, are you comfortable with this? I want
to make sure you are right with this first. That's
what a real man is supposed to do. You're not
supposed to say you're gonna you acting a kind of
(05:47):
an immature for not letting her.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Boy, if you lost your mind, this is your wife.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
If anybody's supposed to be happy, it's supposed to be
your wife.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
If you want to help your kids mother and you say, hey, baby,
we're gonna get our room, you know we won't get
our room over here because of the situation, blah blah blah.
You're cool with that, and then your wife needs to
be cool with that as well. But that's what a
real man is supposed to do. You're supposed to make
sure your wife is cool on all. Now, if your
wife steps in and say, you know what, baby, it's
(06:15):
all right. She can stay here if you want them
to stay here with the kids. We don't want to
break up from the kids. Let your wife be the
one that's going to say that your man is completely
out of line by saying he's staying here and you
shouldn't be acting like this. Now you done created a
problem with your wife. Now there's an issue. I don't
care you're talking about. You didn't want to cuss in
front of them kids, out to cuss everybody out, including
(06:36):
them kids, everybody, y'all go back to the flood for
all I.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Can hang on We'll have part two of today's Strawberry
Letter at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's subject
he is his exis staying with us.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
For a week.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
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(07:10):
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fifty four hundred or Globelife radio dot com. All right,
we're going to recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is
his ex is staying with us.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
For a week.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
This woman wrote in She says she's not an evil person,
but she will speak up when she feels like she's
being played. She's married, her husband was in a long
term relationship before her uh and he had two beautiful children.
She says from this relationship, he's best friends now with
the baby mama, and the wife says she likes the
(07:55):
baby mama a lot. She even came to her last
birthday celebration because she happened to be in town. So
they have a really cool relationship the two parents of
the children and the father's knew wife. She said she
and her husband drive to take the kids home. They
drive to pick them up. They don't want the baby
(08:18):
mama to have to drive two hours.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
She said.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Co parenting was going just great until recently when the
wife had a flood. When the baby mama had a
flood in her house and she needed to come to
their house and let her house air out for a
little while. So the kids are already at the house.
They were gonna stay at the mom's house, but they're
already at the house. Then she called the husband to
(08:42):
say she was missing her kids. So all of a sudden,
the husband goes to get the air mattress and tells
his wife that she's being immature and coming there and
help them put the sheets on the air mattress because
guess what, the baby mama is going to stay at
their house and you're immature, wifey, and stop rolling your eyes.
So the wife wants to know is she is she
(09:06):
evil or did her husband cross the line? That is
the question. Is she evil for not wanting the ex
to stay at their house? And why didn't the husband
ask her? Why didn't he discuss this with her? Just
one day? She just found out that the baby mama
is going to stay at their house for a week,
So she wants to know she being evil or did
(09:27):
he cross the line? Yes, he crossed the line, and
know you're not being evil. Tommy agrees, and Kira Junior,
what do you have to say about this?
Speaker 5 (09:36):
I want Tommy me let me mabe. If you said
you're writing us and she.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
At the house, now this is a good time to
start throwing stuff out right now?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Why'd you got time to write us? She's in your house?
Speaker 6 (09:49):
See, I don't I don't care about the flood and
all your belongings and all of this type of stuff.
This don't even matter to me. This doesn't even make
no sense. There's not a I thought about this. If
this was my wife asked me, can't her baby daddy
said to how there's not a situation in life?
Speaker 5 (10:06):
He can stay here.
Speaker 6 (10:07):
I don't care, I know, Tommy said a flood or
hurricane or flash flood or pseudonymic or earthquake or volcanic corruption.
There's not no reason for him to ever stay here.
I can't see it.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I don't care.
Speaker 6 (10:19):
If it's a gunshot wound, can't stay here, a stabbing,
he can't stay here. Car accident, can't stay here. I
don't care if he die and go peacefully when he
get to heaven. Can't stay in my mansion.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
I don't care. Where are we at on earth.
Speaker 6 (10:33):
There's no reason I can see for him to stay
with me.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
What is wrong with you? I don't care. If he
got a kidnapping charge, can't stay here, I don't care.
It does not matter.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
Bank robberies, shoot out with the police, probation violation, There's
nothing in his life that could happen.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
He can stay here. There's no way. So what is
you doing? Why you can't feed this out? This ain't
your boyfriend, This ain't his house. This y'all house. You
a food even going in and even asked, this is
an automatic.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
No, you don't even take long. I like if you
ask Carler, Carl can't can't so and so stay here?
Speaker 5 (11:12):
No, that's it. That's a discussion, but.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
He knew she was gonna say no. That's why he
didn't ask her.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Here just being a maid service too in your own house.
You in here making beds for buy what?
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Putting the sheets on a blow up match?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
There's just no just no way this.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I can't see it. The garage ain't even open to her.
She could have given your garage for more. I wish
you would open the garage. Don't for her to sleep in. No,
ain't nothing available. There's nothing in a situation. This is
not a friend of yours. This is his ex wife.
She ain't your.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Friend, baby, Mamma, Yeah, ain't your friend. You know what, ju,
But they hang out, they do all that.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Maybe we could have put a tent out in the
backyard and let her stay out there.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
If we had a treehouse, tim and she can't get
in that. It don't matter.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
What it is, just your hotel. Just stay at a hotel.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
You better hope, you better hope they didn't cut the
FEMA check. You better get your FEMA check and get
on nothing, because that's about the only sister you getting.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
You're not getting it from my husband, my wife.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
You're not finna get that. And you know what here's
another thing, because it's the next line. But these my kids,
well you and your kids can go stay with her all, y'all,
but it's not gonna.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Be in here.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So yeah, the problem in this letter is the husband,
for sure. It's the husband.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
Yes, and yes he did go too far.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely can't. But then he called her and mature,
he on wife, immature?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Uh huh.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
I don't care if a family member died. You can't
stay here? Wow, I don't care how you're not staying here?
Tell me we're gonna come together as a family. Not
not in here?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
We not?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
No?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Are you afraid they might get back together? They in
the And that's you to keep.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Your wife happy, your your wife house what I'm dare?
Speaker 6 (13:19):
Yeah, ask, Let me go ahead, ask my wife right now,
if if if my ask, can stay here and watch
the next time, y'all gover here is me getting right there.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
By asking the question.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
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