September 5, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Friday, September 5th, 2025. Subject: "His Focus Is On Other Women"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle love and hold on. Type
of guide it for you? Here? It is Strawberry letter, all.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Right, nephew, thank you. A subject his focus is on
other women. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband shares far too
many of his thoughts with me, and it's messing with
my self esteem. He has a bad habit of commenting
on women's looks when we're out, and he uses the
wrong words when he describes females in general. For example,
(00:47):
his boss is getting remarried and he said that the
future wife. He said that the future wife has a
nice tight booty and thighs. I asked why he was
looking at her behind and why did he think it
was it's cool to mention it to me? He said,
as a man, there are certain things men notice, and
as my wife. He should be able to tell me anything.
(01:07):
I asked if he wanted me to do squats to
firm up my booty, and he said that I take
things the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
He's so clueless.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Why wouldn't I get offended by him saying nice things
about another woman. He'll say that a waitress has a
pretty smile, or a woman passing by his nice hair,
and then will debate over whether it's a weed or
her natural hair. It's clear that he loves women without weed.
But I've been wearing wigs and so in since he
met me, so I feel some type of way when
(01:36):
he discusses the other women's hair. He just said that
from now on he will keep his mouth closed while
we're out. When he tried that we had nothing to
talk about, I had no idea that we discussed other
women and nonsense so much. It makes me sad that
my husband admires other women. He tries to assure me
that he's happy and that he loves everything about me,
(01:59):
but I can't help but think he wants an upgraded wife.
I would never tell him what I think about another man.
He couldn't take it if I did it to him.
Why doesn't he compliment me? Is our marriage in trouble?
These are all questions that you need to really ask him.
Why doesn't he compliment you? That is odd, isn't it.
(02:20):
He's talking about all these other women, but he doesn't
compliment his own wife. And you know what, you're right
about one thing. He wouldn't be able to take it
if you did that to him. His ego would be crushed.
But he says he should be able to tell his
wife anything. I mean, do you know how many divorces
and breakups there would be if couples told their partners
anything and everything? Like he said, why do you think
(02:43):
we can't read each other's minds? Because they don't need
to know what we're really thinking all the time. Your
husband doesn't need to know what you're thinking all the time,
and he doesn't need to know what you're thinking all
the time. I'm not saying, of course, don't be truthful.
I'm just saying, as his wife, you already know not
to volun to hear your opinion. If a fine man walks
in the room, but your husband obviously doesn't get that rule,
(03:06):
you need to talk to him and let him know
how this, you know, makes you feel all these shenanigans
he's pulling. He should want you to be happy, not hurt,
but instead he's doing stupid stuff right in your face.
He's not out with his boys doing this. But please,
don't you be stupid too. All right, and let this
get out of control and all of that. You can
(03:29):
nip this in the bud, just letting him know you
know what the real issue is here, how you really feel.
Don't allow him to make you second guess yourself or
to make you feel insecure. This is the time, you know,
to love yourself even more. I mean, he's crazy just
because he doesn't know how to shut up when he
sees other attractive women. Really, Steve, I'm frustrated by this letter.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Go ahead, yeah see this is making you mad because
yeah see, well surely because of the type of person
you are, you have such a level of decency. You
not gonna say what I'm going to say, but just
what you're thinking. But you don't have though. You don't
want to talk like this. The subject is his focus
(04:18):
is on other women. My husband shares too many of
his thoughts with me, and it's messing with my self esteem.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
He has a bad habit.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Of commenting on women's looks when we're out, and he
uses the wrong words when he describes the females. For example,
his boss is getting me married, and he said that
a future wife got a.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Nice tight booty and thighs.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I asked him why he was looking at her and
why he thought it was cool to mention it to me.
He said, as a man, there's certain things that men notice,
and as my wife.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He should be able to tell me anything.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I needed to read that passage so I can sum
this letter up quickly. Quickly, we really can end the
strawberry letter. I only had one question to this lady.
When you all were dating, you didn't know that he
was stupid because he didn't start this. He could have,
(05:23):
but there had to be signs that he was stupid.
Everybody that's married, whose marriage has ended or lasted for
a certain amount of time, or anything else, will all
be able to tell you that they saw signs.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Of it in the beginning, but they ignored it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Everybody, everybody, everybody has married a red flag.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
That may not be a big flag. It might be
a little red sticker with a tooth in it.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Some of y'all didn't married them red flag that's outside
the courthouse. You some of y'all haven't married. The flag
where the soldiers got to come and raise it up
in salute five shots.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's how big a flag you done married. But we
all see.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Them, so I think you saw some of this. But
now when we come back, I'm going to have to
tell you what this means because I know exactly why
he's saying these things.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why because men are just not that deep.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject. His focus is on other women.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
If you're an you know it took years of saving, planning,
and hard work to get in the door then make
that house a home.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Now, all that effort has.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Built something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your
home you truly own that can be tapped to fund
what's next. And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you
turn your home's equity into cash. Fund your next drink
with Rocket Mortgage. Visit rocket mortgage dot com today to
find out more. Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states,
n MLS Consumer access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is his focus is on other women.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, she's married to this guy who has no problem
commenting on women's looks when he sees, and he does
it often. Now, the lady says, that is messing with
myself esteem. But I want to help you out with something.
Your husband really is not a bright man, because most
(07:56):
men listening to this show will tell you that ain't
a smart movie.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Why would you do that? I did it in my
first marriage. One time. I was taking my ex wife
to work. Huh.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I was taking my ex wife to work one day.
She was in the passenger seat and her mother was
in the backseat. I was dropping both of them off
the work. A girl, this chick was so fine, was
crossing the street in the crosswalk. Now I'm twenty five
years old, just got married. I might I might have
still been twenty four. Yeah, I had the twins at
(08:30):
twenty five, so the tins weren't born here. So I
was twenty four. This fine chick was walking and I
in my I said, I know, man, why she walking
like that? Why her dress so tight?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Why?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
And brother? The rest of that ride.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
To work with her and her mama in that car
was a lesson on stupidity. They talked about me man
like I wasn't even in the car, and I went, wow, man,
So I dropped my mother in law off first.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
The conversation heightened. What is why would you say something that?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So you looking at her?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Why are you looking at her? Worried about why she walked? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I was just trying to make conversations. Oh that's the conversation.
I can't even tell you what all it was. It
happened a long time. She get to work, so I
understood after that that was the last time, the last
time I ever told anybody anything I thought about another woman.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I ain't saying.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
And I have thoughts all the time, because like women
have thoughts all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But dick, you ain't supposed to say.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
It, all right, So now let me explain something to
uh didn't He was talking about how tight the warm
the boss's new wife had a tight booty and big
diy and everything. So she asked a husband, do you
want me to start doing squats? To firm up my booty.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
He said, I take things the wrong way.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And you know and and and why, And you shouldn't
be offended by he's saying nice things about other women.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Put an asset. He shouldn't be saying nothing about these
other women.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Now he'll say that a waitress got a pretty smile,
or a woman by has nice here to one, I
want you to pay attention.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
He'll say that a waitress has pretty.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Smile, and a woman passing by his nice hair, and
we'll debate over whether it's a weave or her natural hair.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And it's clear that he loves women without weave.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But I've been wearing wigs and so in since we met,
so I feel some kind of weight. When he discusses
other women's hair, he's dropping hints.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Let me explain to the teacher, because men ain't that deep.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
When he brings up these comparisons, he know you got
a sew in because he can't run his hands through
his hair. He know you got clip ends and wigs
because he know if he run his fingers through your hair,
he gonna push it on the.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Freet He knows it.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
So now he brings up other women's have to drop
hints as to what he likes. The reason he brought
up that big booty in tight thighs of his boss's
future wife is because.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's what he likes.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
So when you ask, do you want me to do
most squats, yes, that's exactly what he wanted. A man
ain't gonna keep doing this. And I'm gonna tell you
the other reason he's doing it too. He said, from
now here, keep his mouth shut while we're out. He
tried to do that, and then we didn't have nothing
to talk about. So now you've found out that that's all.
Y'all's conversation has been about that the whole time, because
(11:45):
now you all going out and you have nothing to say.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
And then you say.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It makes me sad that my husband admires other women.
And he tries to sure me he's happy, love everything
about you, But I can't think he wants an a
graded white. He wants you to do something different, because
that's why he's dropping all these hints. But I'm gonna
tell you something about your husband that you may not
have considered.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Your husband is extremely inconsiderable.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Extremely you're married to an inconsiderate man.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Because you said it best if you did the.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Same thing to him. Oh my god, he couldn't take it.
And no he can't because the male ego. The male
ego bruises easy. Now you gotta be careful, lady, because
once you bruise the male ego.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
It's hard to come back.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Because me and men hold that difference. You know. It's like,
let me just tell you some stuff you can't never
say to a man.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And get it back.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Okay, let's hear this.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
That's the best you can do. Here's here's another one
that you can't get back. I thought you were stronger
than that. M here's the one you can't really get back.
(13:23):
Has anybody ever told you that you're small?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Oh? Okay?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You can comment on today's Strawberry Letter because getting none
of that back. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Is My Marriage in Trouble? Yes it is? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
On the free iHeartRadio app, you're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle love and hold on. Type
of guide it for you? Here? It is Strawberry letter, all.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Right, nephew, thank you. A subject his focus is on
other women. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband shares far too
many of his thoughts with me, and it's messing with
my self esteem. He has a bad habit of commenting
on women's looks when we're out, and he uses the
wrong words when he describes females in general. For example,
(00:47):
his boss is getting remarried and he said that the
future wife. He said that the future wife has a
nice tight booty and thighs. I asked why he was
looking at her behind and why did he think it
was it's cool to mention it to me? He said,
as a man, there are certain things men notice, and
as my wife. He should be able to tell me anything.
(01:07):
I asked if he wanted me to do squats to
firm up my booty, and he said that I take
things the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
He's so clueless.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Why wouldn't I get offended by him saying nice things
about another woman. He'll say that a waitress has a
pretty smile, or a woman passing by his nice hair,
and then will debate over whether it's a weed or
her natural hair. It's clear that he loves women without weed.
But I've been wearing wigs and so in since he
met me, so I feel some type of way when
(01:36):
he discusses the other women's hair. He just said that
from now on he will keep his mouth closed while
we're out. When he tried that we had nothing to
talk about, I had no idea that we discussed other
women and nonsense so much. It makes me sad that
my husband admires other women. He tries to assure me
that he's happy and that he loves everything about me,
(01:59):
but I can't help but think he wants an upgraded wife.
I would never tell him what I think about another man.
He couldn't take it if I did it to him.
Why doesn't he compliment me? Is our marriage in trouble?
These are all questions that you need to really ask him.
Why doesn't he compliment you? That is odd, isn't it.
(02:20):
He's talking about all these other women, but he doesn't
compliment his own wife. And you know what, you're right
about one thing. He wouldn't be able to take it
if you did that to him. His ego would be crushed.
But he says he should be able to tell his
wife anything. I mean, do you know how many divorces
and breakups there would be if couples told their partners
anything and everything? Like he said, why do you think
(02:43):
we can't read each other's minds? Because they don't need
to know what we're really thinking all the time. Your
husband doesn't need to know what you're thinking all the time,
and he doesn't need to know what you're thinking all
the time. I'm not saying, of course, don't be truthful.
I'm just saying, as his wife, you already know not
to volun to hear your opinion. If a fine man walks
in the room, but your husband obviously doesn't get that rule,
(03:06):
you need to talk to him and let him know
how this, you know, makes you feel all these shenanigans
he's pulling. He should want you to be happy, not hurt,
but instead he's doing stupid stuff right in your face.
He's not out with his boys doing this. But please,
don't you be stupid too. All right, and let this
get out of control and all of that. You can
(03:29):
nip this in the bud, just letting him know you
know what the real issue is here, how you really feel.
Don't allow him to make you second guess yourself or
to make you feel insecure. This is the time, you know,
to love yourself even more. I mean, he's crazy just
because he doesn't know how to shut up when he
sees other attractive women. Really, Steve, I'm frustrated by this letter.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Go ahead, yeah see this is making you mad because
yeah see, well surely because of the type of person
you are, you have such a level of decency. You
not gonna say what I'm going to say, but just
what you're thinking. But you don't have though. You don't
want to talk like this. The subject is his focus
(04:18):
is on other women. My husband shares too many of
his thoughts with me, and it's messing with my self esteem.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
He has a bad habit.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Of commenting on women's looks when we're out, and he
uses the wrong words when he describes the females. For example,
his boss is getting me married, and he said that
a future wife got a.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Nice tight booty and thighs.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I asked him why he was looking at her and
why he thought it was cool to mention it to me.
He said, as a man, there's certain things that men notice,
and as my wife.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He should be able to tell me anything.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I needed to read that passage so I can sum
this letter up quickly. Quickly, we really can end the
strawberry letter. I only had one question to this lady.
When you all were dating, you didn't know that he
was stupid because he didn't start this. He could have,
(05:23):
but there had to be signs that he was stupid.
Everybody that's married, whose marriage has ended or lasted for
a certain amount of time, or anything else, will all
be able to tell you that they saw signs.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Of it in the beginning, but they ignored it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Everybody, everybody, everybody has married a red flag.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
That may not be a big flag. It might be
a little red sticker with a tooth in it.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Some of y'all didn't married them red flag that's outside
the courthouse. You some of y'all haven't married. The flag
where the soldiers got to come and raise it up
in salute five shots.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's how big a flag you done married. But we
all see.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Them, so I think you saw some of this. But
now when we come back, I'm going to have to
tell you what this means because I know exactly why
he's saying these things.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why because men are just not that deep.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject. His focus is on other women.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
If you're an you know it took years of saving, planning,
and hard work to get in the door then make
that house a home.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Now, all that effort has.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Built something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your
home you truly own that can be tapped to fund
what's next. And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you
turn your home's equity into cash. Fund your next drink
with Rocket Mortgage. Visit rocket mortgage dot com today to
find out more. Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states,
n MLS Consumer access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is his focus is on other women.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, she's married to this guy who has no problem
commenting on women's looks when he sees, and he does
it often. Now, the lady says, that is messing with
myself esteem. But I want to help you out with something.
Your husband really is not a bright man, because most
(07:56):
men listening to this show will tell you that ain't
a smart movie.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Why would you do that? I did it in my
first marriage. One time. I was taking my ex wife
to work. Huh.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I was taking my ex wife to work one day.
She was in the passenger seat and her mother was
in the backseat. I was dropping both of them off
the work. A girl, this chick was so fine, was
crossing the street in the crosswalk. Now I'm twenty five
years old, just got married. I might I might have
still been twenty four. Yeah, I had the twins at
(08:30):
twenty five, so the tins weren't born here. So I
was twenty four. This fine chick was walking and I
in my I said, I know, man, why she walking
like that? Why her dress so tight?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Why?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
And brother? The rest of that ride.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
To work with her and her mama in that car
was a lesson on stupidity. They talked about me man
like I wasn't even in the car, and I went, wow, man,
So I dropped my mother in law off first.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
The conversation heightened. What is why would you say something that?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So you looking at her?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Why are you looking at her? Worried about why she walked? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I was just trying to make conversations. Oh that's the conversation.
I can't even tell you what all it was. It
happened a long time. She get to work, so I
understood after that that was the last time, the last
time I ever told anybody anything I thought about another woman.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I ain't saying.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
And I have thoughts all the time, because like women
have thoughts all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But dick, you ain't supposed to say.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
It, all right, So now let me explain something to
uh didn't He was talking about how tight the warm
the boss's new wife had a tight booty and big
diy and everything. So she asked a husband, do you
want me to start doing squats? To firm up my booty.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
He said, I take things the wrong way.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And you know and and and why, And you shouldn't
be offended by he's saying nice things about other women.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Put an asset. He shouldn't be saying nothing about these
other women.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Now he'll say that a waitress got a pretty smile,
or a woman by has nice here to one, I
want you to pay attention.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
He'll say that a waitress has pretty.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Smile, and a woman passing by his nice hair, and
we'll debate over whether it's a weave or her natural hair.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And it's clear that he loves women without weave.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But I've been wearing wigs and so in since we met,
so I feel some kind of weight. When he discusses
other women's hair, he's dropping hints.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Let me explain to the teacher, because men ain't that deep.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
When he brings up these comparisons, he know you got
a sew in because he can't run his hands through
his hair. He know you got clip ends and wigs
because he know if he run his fingers through your hair,
he gonna push it on the.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Freet He knows it.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
So now he brings up other women's have to drop
hints as to what he likes. The reason he brought
up that big booty in tight thighs of his boss's
future wife is because.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's what he likes.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
So when you ask, do you want me to do
most squats, yes, that's exactly what he wanted. A man
ain't gonna keep doing this. And I'm gonna tell you
the other reason he's doing it too. He said, from
now here, keep his mouth shut while we're out. He
tried to do that, and then we didn't have nothing
to talk about. So now you've found out that that's all.
Y'all's conversation has been about that the whole time, because
(11:45):
now you all going out and you have nothing to say.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
And then you say.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It makes me sad that my husband admires other women.
And he tries to sure me he's happy, love everything
about you, But I can't think he wants an a
graded white. He wants you to do something different, because
that's why he's dropping all these hints. But I'm gonna
tell you something about your husband that you may not
have considered.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Your husband is extremely inconsiderable.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Extremely you're married to an inconsiderate man.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Because you said it best if you did the.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Same thing to him. Oh my god, he couldn't take it.
And no he can't because the male ego. The male
ego bruises easy. Now you gotta be careful, lady, because
once you bruise the male ego.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
It's hard to come back.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Because me and men hold that difference. You know. It's like,
let me just tell you some stuff you can't never
say to a man.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And get it back.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Okay, let's hear this.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
That's the best you can do. Here's here's another one
that you can't get back. I thought you were stronger
than that. M here's the one you can't really get back.
(13:23):
Has anybody ever told you that you're small?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Oh? Okay?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You can comment on today's Strawberry Letter because getting none
of that back. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Is My Marriage in Trouble? Yes it is? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
On the free iHeartRadio app, you're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show.
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