Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
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Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on time. We got it for you.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you nephew. Subject his mama has too much access.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I married a man from another country.
He got divorced and moved to Texas for work. He's
a doctor, and he's got two teenage boys that chose
to move to Texas.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
With him after the divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
They're in high school and they're friendly to me, but
it is very obvious that there are spies for their mom.
I caught one of them, one of the boys, facetiming
with his mom, but his camera was turned toward me
so she could get a good look at me. The
boys and their mama are not the problem. My husband's
mother is the problem. Right before we got married, she
(01:07):
moved to Texas too. She was living in Virginia with
her second husband, but she left him to come ruin
my life. I told my husband that I was not
going to marry him if he allowed his mother to
live with us. He tried to sneak it in during
our home search by looking for homes with a nice
bedroom on the first floor. No, sir, that was not happening.
(01:28):
So instead she has a little studio apartment in a
building about three miles from our home. The boys go
pick her up all the time, and somehow she ends
up at our house. I am tired of her. She
loves to mention my husband's ex wife to the boys
and make sure that I can hear her conversation. She
even cut her eyes at me once or twice to
(01:48):
engage me, but I ignored her. My husband recently gave
her a key to our house and the co to
the alarm in case of emergency. She told me that
now she can come check on our grandsons whenever she
wants to. That night, I had the alarm code changed
and I'm thinking about re king all of the locks.
(02:09):
My husband knows that his tiny Caribbean mama is a
pest but instead of talking to her, he gives her more.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Access to us.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Why is he so concerned about her feelings and not mine?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Please help?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay, we've seen this movie before. He's a typical mama's boy.
What else can you say? I mean, he either doesn't
know how or he refuses to cut the apron strings
and put you his wife first. His mom is a metler,
and she's there unannounced, not to see her grandson's like
(02:44):
she said, I mean, she's there to wreak havoc, to
get in your business. She's there to be nosy and
to undermine your relationship. And I'm glad you changed the
alarm codes again. And yes you should change the locks again, Riquiem. No,
she should not have access to your house like this.
No one should but you and your husband. I think
(03:04):
it's time for you and your husband to have a
serious talk about how are you going to move forward
with his mama out of the house and out of
your business.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Steve, he doesn't strike me as a mama's boy. That's
not what he strikes me as. Oh, he's concerned about
his mother. He's trying to do for his mother. But
I don't think he's a mama's boy. If he was
a mama's boy, he would have insisted that she's staying now.
It was his mama's boy, he would have she would
(03:34):
he would have insisted that you all get the bigger
house with the bed of the house there.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Instead, he moved her three blocks away.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Probably because the marriage was over with, you know, and
so she was alone and he has money and he's
trying to pay his mom back. That's what it sounds
like to me. But this is all going bad for you,
and rightfully so. The question you asked in the letter, though,
was why is he so concerned about her feelings and
(04:06):
not mine?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Well, it's his mother.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Most dudes are concerned about their mother's feeling It's not
that he's not concerned about yours. He is, but he's
still giving his mama some access. Your problem is the
past is haunting you, his past, the boys being a
spy for the mama, the grandmama liking the ex better
(04:34):
than you.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
That's your problems. It's a combination.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Because you started the letter off complaining you know that
you know you married a man from another country, obviously
some Caribbean country, because you mentioned that about his mother.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
He moved to Texas for he's a doctor.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Got these two teenage boys that chose to move to
Texas with him after the divorce.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
So obviously he's good dude.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
They're in high school and they're friendly to me, but
it's very obvious that they are spies for their mom.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Pull up, lady, they still love their mama.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Now, they're not spies for the mama, but the mama
is using them for information.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
What she looked like, let me see her, and so.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
He faced timing, and then he aim the camera at you,
so she got a good look at you. The boys
and their mama are not the problem, okay, but you
mentioned it. Though you mentioned it, so now the mama
becomes the straw that broke the camel's back because you
think everybody out to get you. You just saying the
(05:38):
boys is nice to you. After they face timing, she
in the room, let me see them.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
They ain't gonna do it. This is mama.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Now, my husband's mother is the problem because right before
we got married, she moved.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
To Texas too.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
She was living in Virginia with her second husband, but
she left him to come ruin my life. Well, the
marriage didn't work and our only family she got is
in Texas. He moved there from another country. My baby
in Texas, my grandkids. I'm gonna go live out there.
Too bad for you. You told him you weren't gonna
(06:12):
marry him if he allowed his mother to live with us.
He tried to sneak it in doing our home search
by looking for homes with a nice bedroom on the
first floor.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
No, so that was not happening. He considered your feelings.
It didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So instead she's got a little studio apartment in the
building about three miles from our home.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That ain't bad. The boys go pick up all the time.
It's they grandmama, all right. Somehow she end up at
our house. That's why they live.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects
his mama has too much access.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
We'll get back into it right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
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(07:11):
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come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
his mama has too much access.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Now, I'll admit that the title of the letter.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Is true, but your reasoning for thinking it is a
little bit off.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
But just let me try to help you with it.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Your husband is a divorced doctor from another country, moved
to Texas get work.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
You got two teenage boys.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
They decided to move to Texas with their daddy follow
the money.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
They in high school.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
They friendly to me, but obviously that they are spies
for they mom. Don't relegate the boys down to that.
You just said they're nice to you, they like you.
They mama is taking advantage of the situation. It ain't
that the boys is spies. But then you say the
boys and the mama ain't the problem. But you just
said they was it's really her mama. Right before we
(08:17):
got married, she moved to Texas too. She was living
in Virginia with her second husband, but she left him
to come ruin my life.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't know if you noticed it.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Everything in this letter is about you and how you
feel and what's wrong with you. And I understand that
that's why you write in the letters. But come on,
Ain't nobody moved here to ruin your life. You don't
like the lady. I told my husband I was gonna
marry him and be allowed his mother to live with us.
He didn't, but he tried to sneak it in doing
our search for homes with a nice bedroom on the
first floor.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I told him, no, sir, that's not happening.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
He didn't do it, ended up getting his mom in
an apartment three miles away in a building. Okay, the
boys go pick up all the time them how she
ends up at our house.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
It's where the boy stay. I am tired of her.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
She loves to mention my husband's ex wife to the
boys and make sure that I hear her conversation. I
got that, you know, she rubbing it in. She liked
the other lady better than she liked you. Facts that
just happened. Maybe the lady was nice nice to her.
(09:29):
You ain't nice to her. You're not welcoming to her,
You're not kind to her. So yeah, she liked the
other lady better. You don't see that. She's even cut
her eyes at me once or twice to engage me,
but I ignored her. I don't know what that means. Cut
her eyes at me once or twice to engage me.
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Anyway. She told me that now, but I've ignored her.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
My husband recently gave her keith of the house cold
to the alarm in case of emergency.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
She told me, now she can come check on her
grandsons whenever she wants to.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
That night, I had alarm cold change, and I'm thinking
about Rique and all the wreki and all the locks.
My husband knows this tiny careb mama is a passim,
but instead of talking to her, he gives her more
access to hers. Why is he concerned about so concerned
about her feelings and not mine. He is concerned about
your feelings, But that's his mama. What you want him
(10:24):
to do? Throw his mama to the side. She'd have
moved a Texas second marriage is over. It ain't working out.
He knows mama crazy.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You don't think that. But is his mama him giving.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Her his mom access to the house though she can
come in whenever.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, but you know you would give your mother a
ki to your house for emergency.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
You would do that. You would do that.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
But if she lived in the same if she lived
in the same city, you would give your mama a
key to the house in case you need. You with
out a country that when our town you left, some
everybody would do that. I don't think nobody, not when
your mama never have a key to this I don't
think that was it. The problem is she told her
I can come over it whatever I want. But you
(11:13):
know that may not be the case because the boys
got to go over there to get her, you know,
and they end up at the house. Please help. I
think you should chill a little bit. Why don't you
take this approach? Why don't you make friends with the mama?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Why don't y'all go to lunch one day?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Why don't y'all go shopping one day and just.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Share how you feel? Ask her?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Can y'all have a better relationship try that. Have you
ever thought of that? Are you just stuck on getting
it your way or no way? Because you changing the
long codes.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
On the woman? That ain't right?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
You know? Come on, now, a simple conversation with the
lady might fix that. No, I suppose that is a
real emergency and she coming over there and she can't
get in because of long cold ain't working.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So so isn't that a conversation that the husband should
have with the mom?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
No, it's the two women got to have this conversation.
You can't fix two women. Surely tried you ever tried that?
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You're not fixing two women? Not no, dude, because you
you don't even understand where they're coming from. But I'm
saying that's the conversation between I just told you in
my answer to the letter that I think Shirley that
she ought to have conversations with the man. Mama. Now
you had your chance to do the letter. Fix my answer.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Now, I'm telling you why I can't say you can
say whatever. I'm just asking a question.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I just told her. I ain't saying nothing why you
were doing that?
Speaker 4 (12:59):
I ask the questions. But go ahead, Tommy, uh uh.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Am?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I wrong?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Am I wrong for what I'm saying. You call am
I wrong for what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Is just ask you a question? Can she not ask
all right questions?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Sir?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
It's nothing.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You can comment on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram or
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the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show