Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com
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Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.
You got it for it you here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Subject his sister catfished me to Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty
eight years old and I've been with the same man
for five years and he's not focused on marriage or
taking our relationship further, but he won't let me go.
He accuses me of seeking attention from other men because
of the way I dress, and I see that as
(00:46):
him not trusting me. He's so paranoid all the time,
so I reassure him that I'm not up to no
good when I'm hanging out with my friends. I told
myself i'd give him another year to propose. I would
never tell him about my deadline because I don't want
him to propose unless he really want to. I took
a short break from him and I stopped playing house.
(01:08):
I went and stayed with my mom for a month
to force my boyfriend to take me on dates and
make time for me if he wanted to have sex
with me. During that time, I got a DM from
a handsome guy that said he saw me at a
career fair that.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
I was speaking at.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
We exchanged phone numbers and I gave him career advice
and helped him with his resume. I never talked with
him on the phone, only texts and emails. He wanted
us to meet up somewhere and I told him that
I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
That led to him opening.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Up about the trouble he was having with his love life,
and I told him about how my boyfriend takes me
for granted. Little did I know my boyfriend's seventeen year
old sister was catfishing me and I had been communicating
with her with her not.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The handsome guy. I was so oh busted.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
My boyfriend broke up with me, and I tried to
reason with him, but then I realized that I'm too
old for games. I did not cheat or do anything terrible.
Should I stop fighting for this relationship. Well, yeah, if
you're asking me, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely yes,
because what are you fighting for. You're not fighting for anything.
(02:22):
He's not worth it. What would you be fighting to
say you weren't happy with him anyway? I mean, you
said you've been with this man for five years and nothing,
no proposal, nothing, no working on the relationship, trying to
take it to the next level, none of that. And
all this moving in with your mom to force him
to take you out and to want to have sex
(02:44):
with you is crazy. I mean, don't you know if
he wanted to do any of these things, he would
and that includes proposing and his sister catfishing you.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
What is that all about?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
This is all just stupid and immature and like you say, games,
he broke up with you over that. You didn't cheat
or do anything terrible. You said you helped this guy
with his resume, you gave him some career advice, and
you told him you had a man that took you
for granted, you never even saw this guy or talk
to him on the phone, and your man broke up
(03:18):
with you over that after five years of dating. I
think this incident just gave him a reason to do
what he's wanting, what he had been wanting to do
all along, and.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
That was get out of this relationship.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
So to you, I say the same thing, get out
of this relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Steve Well, you're out of it because he broke up
with you. But get over.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It, Steve Well, it's not a kind of ignorant to me.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
So yeah, I think I should address it as an
ignorant person.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Oh oh oh, you pray.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
For me, Father, God helped it all the time.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
I asked God to let there be more of him
and less of me, and mow you and less me
trying because to me is so dominant. I want to
say something and respond, for the God in me is
holding my tongue. This thirty eight year old woman is
a dating this man that ain't thinking about it really
no further than what it is.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
He's really just got her dad.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
His beckoning call seems to me he's not focused on
marriage or taking a relationship further. But he won't let
me go. No no, no, no no, that's not true.
It ain't that he won't let you go as you
won't leave. See, stop blaming me and for holding on
to you when it's you. That's holding on to them.
Stop giving a man that kind of power over you.
(04:41):
It ain't that he won't let you go, it is
that you don't have the courage to leave.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Now.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
He's always saying that you're trying to seek antention from
other men because of the way I dress, and I
see that as him not trusting me.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Both of those things are true.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Who when you get dressed in the morning, ladies, don't
you dress to impress. It might be yourself, it might
be your coworkers, it might be your husband.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
But you dressed to impress.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Now, if somebody at the job get impressed, then that's
just bonus.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
But I put it on to put it on, you
know what I'm saying. I put it on to put
it on.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
And anyway, he's so paranoid, and I got to reassure
him that I'm up to no good when I'm hanging
out with my friends. I told myself give him another
year to propose. But I would never tell him about
my deadline because I don't want him to propose unless
he really wants to. Well, that don't make no sense
right there. That's a mistake, ladies. If y'all don't start
(05:43):
putting timelines on some of these men. You ain't gonna
ever get what you want because as long as we
getting what we want, we cool. Now, you did a
smart thing. You took a short break from him. Man,
You and you stop playing house. You would and stayed
with your mom for a month to force my boyfriend
to take me on dates, make time for me if
he wanted to have sex with me. That was a
good move. It just you only did it for thirty days.
(06:06):
You should have kept that plan in place. We come back,
we'll tell you about the DM she got how the
catfish began.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject her sister his sister catfish to me.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
We'll get back into it right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
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Speaker 1 (07:02):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is his sister catfished me.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
The thirty eight year old woman got this man that
don't have woners, so she done play the games with
him and stuff, and she didn't set a deadline. She
want a proposal in the year, but she didn't get
a guy the deadline, which now he don't know me
and stupid, we don't take hints, so I think you should.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
If you have a deadline, you ought to give it
to a guy.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
And you said the reason you didn't do that because
you didn't want him to propose you unless he really
wants to. Well, they won't. A man ain't gonna propose
you unless he really want to. But he ain't gonna
give you a date unless he know you really wont to.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
You see how it works. So you know y'all can't
have one without the other ladies. So you want to
just stop playing house with him. So you took a
break from him and you went and you stayed with
your mom for a month to force him to take
your own dates and make time for you if he
wanted to have sex with you during that time. I
got it DM from a handsome guy that said he
(08:02):
saw me at a career fair I was speaking at.
We exchanged phone numbers, I gave him career advice, helped
him on his resume. Never talked to him on the phone,
only texting emails. He wanted us to meet up somewhere
and I told him I have a boyfriend. That led
to him opening up about the trouble he was having
with his love life. And I told him about how
my boyfriend takes me for granted. Little did I know
(08:24):
my boyfriend's seventeen year old sister was catfishing me. Now,
for those of you that's like me that thought that
catfishing was a sport in the Mississippian riverbanks, and let
me help you understand something. Catfishing is when someone pretends
to be someone else without your knowledge to get you
to perform some type of act, could get you to
(08:47):
talk or make a commitment with I am keeping from
you whole time their real identity. That's basically what catfishing is.
The boyfriend's seventeen year old girl sent a picture to
her saying this is who I am, and I met
you at a place she was speaking at and that's
what the catfish began. But because they didn't get on
the phone and have no verbal or face time, see
(09:09):
face timing stops all this. But because they didn't do
no face timing, now you was communicating with his seventeen
year old sister who was catfishing you because she don't
like you anyway. And don't be surprised if your boyfriend
didn't put her up to it, because he was jealous
(09:33):
of you anyway. So he probably had his little sister
do this to set you up because he ain't trying
to marry you all the way. He been suspicious that
you anyway, so now he thought he was busted, and
you said, I'm so busted. My boyfriend broke up with me.
I tried to reason with him, but then I realized
I'm too old for games. I did not cheat or
(09:55):
do anything terrible. Should I stop fighting for this relationship?
Shirley said you should, and you know what, I agree
with her one hundred percent, because what you're fighting folk,
you ain't got time for these games. Him always a
little ignant system. But he more ignorant than the little
sister is. At least she's seventeen. She done for a reason.
You got catfished. So what you didn't do nothing? You
(10:18):
ain't meet with him. And then when he tried to
meet you told him you had a boyfriend. He opened
up about how he was having a hard time with
his girl. And then you said, your boyfriend taking you
for granted. Oh that's true. Now your boyfriend gonna break up.
Now he gonna make you crawl back. Now y'all gonna
start over, and now he gonna buy another five years,
Which that's how that's gonna work. Good riddance. Next time
(10:41):
you go to a conference to speak, you need to
spot a handsome guy and dm him. Quit fooling with
this man that ain't fooling with you. And ladies, listen
to me. Stop expecting a man to get the hints
when we don't.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Do hints well at all.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
If you are giving your man a year to propose
to you, but you don't tell him he got a year,
and then he don't propose, and now you mad. No,
if he has a year to propose, tell him listen,
you got one year. To get yourself together when it
comes to me, if you don't think you love me
enough in a year to want to spend the rest
of your life with me, then I will know in.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
A year and we can part ways.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
That's what you have to do, So stop talking about
he wantn't let you go. No, you are afraid to leave.
That's all it is. Any questions, ladies.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Charley Well, I mean, what do you think why did
he break up with her? I think that he didn't
do any of these things because he didn't want to.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
You know, he doesn't want to marry her. He's not
going to let the relationship move any further because he's
getting everything he wants. They play in house, he having sex,
he got the chicken, his dreams, You won't the day
of your dreams when that ain't his dream. You're making
all his dreams come true, but he ain't making none
(12:05):
of yours come true. So that's why ladies always have
to have that issue. That's soft ultimatum, yeah or else,
or else you're gonna have nothing. And I don't see
what you're fighting for. Let him break up by.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Why is she she thinking that it's him that's paranoid
it's him that's thinking that she's going out, you know,
because the man.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Who have great manipulation skills and will make you think
is you?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
What is them? The whole time. The best offense is
a good defense. I'm excuse me. The best defense is
a good office.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
If you throw in shade and blame all the other
person all the time, they ain't got time to throw
it on you because they open the playing defense. It's
an old trick. Yeah, he done fools you stop being fooled.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
All right, Steep, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
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