April 12, 2018 • 10 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been with my husband for 30 years. He's a great father and a great son to his mother, but he falls short on being a good husband. When I met him I thought that if a man treats his mother like a queen he will be a great husband, but after all of these years I think that I may be living with a mama's boy.......
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time, ladies and gentlemen. She is the beautiful shirless
straw bear. Thank you Jr. Alright subject, how do I
compete with his mama? Here's Stephen Shirley. I've been with
my husband for thirty years. He's a great father and
a great son to his mother, but he falls short
on being a good husband. When I met him, I
(00:21):
thought that if a man treats his mother like a queen,
he will be a great husband. But after all of
these years, I think that I may be living with
a mama's boy. Don't get me wrong. I love my
mother in law and we get along very well, but
my husband has always put her as number one over me.
When my husband gets off work, he calls his mama
(00:42):
before he calls me. He stops by her house three
or four times a week to take her trash out.
He puts gas in her car pace part of her mortgage,
and after we go to early service at church, he
goes back to church to save a parking space for
her because she attends the second sir. This the list
goes on and on. I thought I was supposed to
(01:04):
be his queen. I've expressed my feelings to him numerous times,
and I end up looking and feeling like I'm just
a nagging wife. He didn't want to plan to do
anything special for a twenty fifth wedding anniversary, and he
didn't do anything special for my fiftieth birthday. I'm only
asking to be treated like his queen at least once
(01:24):
a month. Is that too much to ask? The last
vacation the two of us had was back in two
thousand two. Steven Shirley, Am I being selfish? How can
I compete with his mama? Please help? It sounds like
you know, of course, yes, he's a mama's boy. It
took you all that time to figure that out. You've
been married to him for thirty years. Yes, without a doubt,
(01:45):
he's a mama's boy. But you can take on some
of this responsibility yourself. I mean, you know, the last
vacation the two of you had, you say, was back
in two thousand two. Why don't have you planned anything?
Have you planned a vacation and said, honey, you know
I picked out a play let's go here. Well he
might take his mom Is that what you're thinking? Well, anyway,
you can do some things on your own if you
(02:07):
want to do things. Okay. Uh, this has to stop though.
I mean, you did marry a mama's boy. It sounds like, uh,
in in this particular marriage, you're just an afterthought. You know,
you're very low on the totem pole here. Um, how
how dare he not celebrate your twenty fifth anniversary in
a special way? Uh? I don't even know how you
(02:29):
let him get away with not doing anything special for
you on your fiftieth birthday? Really? Uh, you get along
really well with his mom. I think it's because she
she knows her position, she knows it's secure with her son.
She she knows she's number one in his life. So
of course she's gonna get along with you. Why not.
She doesn't have any reason not to. She's secure. Uh.
(02:50):
You know, I just think you say, well, I'll back
up here. You say you've expressed how you feel to him,
but it has fallen on death fears. He's not trying
to hear you. So I just say, you have to
put some sort of action behind those words. You gotta
make some changes in how you deal with this little
mama's boy, and then you can get different results, some
(03:11):
of the results that you want, but you can take
some of this on your own and plan some things
and just say we're going, Steve, all right, here we go.
How do I compete with his mama? Shirley has made
a lot of good points in her response, and I
take my hat off to my sister, but y'all know
(03:35):
that my job is to provide the ignorant side of things, Sir,
make me proud, and I'm I'm I'm just gonna, you know,
be honest with y'all. I know, Shirley, we're saying that
that the woman has a responsibility in all this, but
let's be real, it ain't her job to turn this
boy into a man. Okay, So now let's just gone
(04:00):
and deal with this. Here we go. I've been with
my husband for thirty years. He's a great father and
a great son to his mother. But he fell short
and being a good husband. Your thirty years of this,
we're just not getting the letter we started get a
letter back in two thogarss down. Yes, yes, so now
(04:27):
that's what I'm surprised that. When I met him, I thought,
if a man treats his mother like a queen, he
would be a great husband. Well, sometimes if a man
treats his mother like the queen didn't. That means he
ain't got no time for another queen, and that would
(04:51):
be you. He don't have time for you, he got
one queen. You know what about Thus, that's a scripture
that says a man case serve two masters, where his
mama is his master. You ain't all right, But after
(05:12):
all these years, I think that I may be living
with a mama's boy. Don't get me wrong. I love
my mother in law and we get along really well.
But my husband has always put her as number one
over me. Okay, you're saying something real cute, real real,
real real long um, you're saying something key Hill. You said,
(05:42):
I think I may be living with a mama's boy.
Don't get me wrong. I love my mother law. Whoa,
whoa whoa. See you didn't stay on that one long enough.
I may be living with a mama's boy. Here's the
rule I created. He can't be her boy and your
man at the same time. That's right. One more time, Steve,
he can't be her boy and your man at the
(06:06):
same time. See, and that is the problem. You do
have a mama's boy. Now. I love my mother and
we get along really well. But what the hell again,
I have a solution for that line right there. You'll
get it when we come back. Come on, Steve, let's
go with part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter.
(06:28):
How do I compete with his mama? Well, I've been
married thirty years to his mama's boy. Now, you figured
if a man treat his mother like a queen, that
he would do the same for his wife. Well, the
problem is, you gotta treat your mother. Well. See, it
ain't your job to treat your mother like a queen.
It's her husband's job to treat her like a queen.
(06:50):
You gotta treat her like your mother, gotta honor her
and respect her. Then you marry somebody and you treat
them like a queen, and it ain't the kid's job
to treat it like the queen. They got honor in
respect him. But your husband took on the queen road
and he can't handle one queen. She is. Now. I
(07:11):
love my mother in law, We get along really well,
but my husband has always put her number one over me.
When my husband gets off work, he calls his mama
before he calls me. That's a mama's boy, man, I'll
be damn my mama. Off now, Mama, I'm off? Can
(07:32):
I can I go home and see my wife? Cause
I go somewhere after school. You bring your ass over here?
Herman something? At least he stops about her house three
or four times a week to take her trash out?
What is this for throwing away? What? You big? Now?
(08:01):
She big? Because this woman creating trash four times a week?
She big now. Also, he puts gas in her car,
paid for part of her mortgage. And as we go
to early service at church, he goes back to church
to save a Parkerts part for her because she attends second.
(08:22):
See all this, she big? She can't get up for
the early service. He gotta go back up there and
save her pockets while close to the door. That's so
her big an can wildly into the church. I'm just
telling you what, Shelley. You don't see this in the letter.
That's what I'm here for, paying part of her mortgage.
(08:45):
The list goes on and on. I thought I was
supposed to be his queen. I've expressed my feelings to
him numerous times. I end up looking at feeling like
I'm just a nagging wife. He don't plan do anything
specialified anniversary. That's cause it was coincide with something is
mama wanted to do. And he didn't do anything on
my fiftieth birthday because he was at his mama's. I
was taking the trash. I'm gonna ask him to be
(09:09):
treated like a queen at least once a month. Is
that too much? Hell, it ain't enough. If all you
see yourself is getting treated right once a month, he
can skip that. That's twelve times a year. You're gonna
get treated right? Lady, lady, you need to raise your standards.
Last vacation the two of us having back in two
thousand two, Shirley and Steve am being selfish. How can
(09:29):
I compete with his mama? Well, here's the answer. How
can I compete with his mama? Here's what I think?
You should move in with his mama. What then you
can get what she gets his mama? Here, come over
(09:50):
your house? Three? All right, See, we gotta get out
of here. You email, email us or Instagram. That's your
thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. At my Girls, Shirley, please
don't forget to join me today for the Strawberry Letter
Live After Show on Facebook. At one thirty pm Eastern Time,
you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It's time, ladies and gentlemen. She is the beautiful shirless
straw bear. Thank you Jr. Alright subject, how do I
compete with his mama? Here's Stephen Shirley. I've been with
my husband for thirty years. He's a great father and
a great son to his mother, but he falls short
on being a good husband. When I met him, I
(00:21):
thought that if a man treats his mother like a queen,
he will be a great husband. But after all of
these years, I think that I may be living with
a mama's boy. Don't get me wrong. I love my
mother in law and we get along very well, but
my husband has always put her as number one over me.
When my husband gets off work, he calls his mama
(00:42):
before he calls me. He stops by her house three
or four times a week to take her trash out.
He puts gas in her car pace part of her mortgage,
and after we go to early service at church, he
goes back to church to save a parking space for
her because she attends the second sir. This the list
goes on and on. I thought I was supposed to
(01:04):
be his queen. I've expressed my feelings to him numerous times,
and I end up looking and feeling like I'm just
a nagging wife. He didn't want to plan to do
anything special for a twenty fifth wedding anniversary, and he
didn't do anything special for my fiftieth birthday. I'm only
asking to be treated like his queen at least once
(01:24):
a month. Is that too much to ask? The last
vacation the two of us had was back in two
thousand two. Steven Shirley, Am I being selfish? How can
I compete with his mama? Please help? It sounds like
you know, of course, yes, he's a mama's boy. It
took you all that time to figure that out. You've
been married to him for thirty years. Yes, without a doubt,
(01:45):
he's a mama's boy. But you can take on some
of this responsibility yourself. I mean, you know, the last
vacation the two of you had, you say, was back
in two thousand two. Why don't have you planned anything?
Have you planned a vacation and said, honey, you know
I picked out a play let's go here. Well he
might take his mom Is that what you're thinking? Well, anyway,
you can do some things on your own if you
(02:07):
want to do things. Okay. Uh, this has to stop though.
I mean, you did marry a mama's boy. It sounds like, uh,
in in this particular marriage, you're just an afterthought. You know,
you're very low on the totem pole here. Um, how
how dare he not celebrate your twenty fifth anniversary in
a special way? Uh? I don't even know how you
(02:29):
let him get away with not doing anything special for
you on your fiftieth birthday? Really? Uh, you get along
really well with his mom. I think it's because she
she knows her position, she knows it's secure with her son.
She she knows she's number one in his life. So
of course she's gonna get along with you. Why not.
She doesn't have any reason not to. She's secure. Uh.
(02:50):
You know, I just think you say, well, I'll back
up here. You say you've expressed how you feel to him,
but it has fallen on death fears. He's not trying
to hear you. So I just say, you have to
put some sort of action behind those words. You gotta
make some changes in how you deal with this little
mama's boy, and then you can get different results, some
(03:11):
of the results that you want, but you can take
some of this on your own and plan some things
and just say we're going, Steve, all right, here we go.
How do I compete with his mama? Shirley has made
a lot of good points in her response, and I
take my hat off to my sister, but y'all know
(03:35):
that my job is to provide the ignorant side of things, Sir,
make me proud, and I'm I'm I'm just gonna, you know,
be honest with y'all. I know, Shirley, we're saying that
that the woman has a responsibility in all this, but
let's be real, it ain't her job to turn this
boy into a man. Okay, So now let's just gone
(04:00):
and deal with this. Here we go. I've been with
my husband for thirty years. He's a great father and
a great son to his mother. But he fell short
and being a good husband. Your thirty years of this,
we're just not getting the letter we started get a
letter back in two thogarss down. Yes, yes, so now
(04:27):
that's what I'm surprised that. When I met him, I thought,
if a man treats his mother like a queen, he
would be a great husband. Well, sometimes if a man
treats his mother like the queen didn't. That means he
ain't got no time for another queen, and that would
(04:51):
be you. He don't have time for you, he got
one queen. You know what about Thus, that's a scripture
that says a man case serve two masters, where his
mama is his master. You ain't all right, But after
(05:12):
all these years, I think that I may be living
with a mama's boy. Don't get me wrong. I love
my mother in law and we get along really well.
But my husband has always put her as number one
over me. Okay, you're saying something real cute, real real,
real real long um, you're saying something key Hill. You said,
(05:42):
I think I may be living with a mama's boy.
Don't get me wrong. I love my mother law. Whoa,
whoa whoa. See you didn't stay on that one long enough.
I may be living with a mama's boy. Here's the
rule I created. He can't be her boy and your
man at the same time. That's right. One more time, Steve,
he can't be her boy and your man at the
(06:06):
same time. See, and that is the problem. You do
have a mama's boy. Now. I love my mother and
we get along really well. But what the hell again,
I have a solution for that line right there. You'll
get it when we come back. Come on, Steve, let's
go with part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter.
(06:28):
How do I compete with his mama? Well, I've been
married thirty years to his mama's boy. Now, you figured
if a man treat his mother like a queen, that
he would do the same for his wife. Well, the
problem is, you gotta treat your mother. Well. See, it
ain't your job to treat your mother like a queen.
It's her husband's job to treat her like a queen.
(06:50):
You gotta treat her like your mother, gotta honor her
and respect her. Then you marry somebody and you treat
them like a queen, and it ain't the kid's job
to treat it like the queen. They got honor in
respect him. But your husband took on the queen road
and he can't handle one queen. She is. Now. I
(07:11):
love my mother in law, We get along really well,
but my husband has always put her number one over me.
When my husband gets off work, he calls his mama
before he calls me. That's a mama's boy, man, I'll
be damn my mama. Off now, Mama, I'm off? Can
(07:32):
I can I go home and see my wife? Cause
I go somewhere after school. You bring your ass over here?
Herman something? At least he stops about her house three
or four times a week to take her trash out?
What is this for throwing away? What? You big? Now?
(08:01):
She big? Because this woman creating trash four times a week?
She big now. Also, he puts gas in her car,
paid for part of her mortgage. And as we go
to early service at church, he goes back to church
to save a Parkerts part for her because she attends second.
(08:22):
See all this, she big? She can't get up for
the early service. He gotta go back up there and
save her pockets while close to the door. That's so
her big an can wildly into the church. I'm just
telling you what, Shelley. You don't see this in the letter.
That's what I'm here for, paying part of her mortgage.
(08:45):
The list goes on and on. I thought I was
supposed to be his queen. I've expressed my feelings to
him numerous times. I end up looking at feeling like
I'm just a nagging wife. He don't plan do anything
specialified anniversary. That's cause it was coincide with something is
mama wanted to do. And he didn't do anything on
my fiftieth birthday because he was at his mama's. I
was taking the trash. I'm gonna ask him to be
(09:09):
treated like a queen at least once a month. Is
that too much? Hell, it ain't enough. If all you
see yourself is getting treated right once a month, he
can skip that. That's twelve times a year. You're gonna
get treated right? Lady, lady, you need to raise your standards.
Last vacation the two of us having back in two
thousand two, Shirley and Steve am being selfish. How can
(09:29):
I compete with his mama? Well, here's the answer. How
can I compete with his mama? Here's what I think?
You should move in with his mama. What then you
can get what she gets his mama? Here, come over
(09:50):
your house? Three? All right, See, we gotta get out
of here. You email, email us or Instagram. That's your
thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. At my Girls, Shirley, please
don't forget to join me today for the Strawberry Letter
Live After Show on Facebook. At one thirty pm Eastern Time,
you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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