How Important Is Physical Attraction

Dear Steve and Shirley I am a 40 year old female no kids and never been married. I've been dating a man for two months and he's a great guy that's consistent, thoughtful, and a hard worker. He has all of the qualities I'm looking for in a mate. But here's my problem...

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, listen now before we get to today's strawberry letter,
and it's a good one. The subject how important is
physical attraction? We gotta send some prayers out and some
good vibes over to our our our listeners. In the Northeast,
they are bracing for yet another blast of winter, as
winter storm warnings are in effect from eastern Pennsylvania all

(00:21):
the way north to Maine. And while accumulation amounts very widely,
forecasters say some we'll see ten inches of snow or more,
with some areas, yeah, getting up to twenty inches. Uh.
Please check your local stations for state of emergency information,
school closures and more. Okay, so be aware of that.

(00:43):
Ten to twenty inches in some places. That's a lot. Yes,
it has, Yes, it has. Because you think it's over.
It's almost spring. Yea yeah, it's almost spring. And here
they're getting what you WoT. All right, Tommy, let's go.
It's time the show. I don't see it. Three people

(01:05):
just walking and just stared as you know, you don't
know nobody in here. Boy coming in and look at us,
and he stared, I'm doing they know you. It's time
strappery letter. All right, thank you, enough you subject how
important is physical attraction. Here's Stephen Shirley. I am a

(01:28):
fourty year old female, no kids, and never been married.
I've been dating a man for two months and he's
a great guy that's consistent, thoughtful, and a hard worker.
He has all of the qualities I'm looking for in
a mate. But here's my problem. I'm not physically attracted
to him. He's a little overweight and he's really shy.

(01:51):
We have a decent enough time together when we go out,
but he's not very talkative, so I do most of
the talking. He's already telling me that he loves me,
and he knows my feelings aren't the same for him,
yet he has he He has been talking about marriage,
and I told him that he was moving too fast
for me. I feel like I'm just going through the

(02:12):
motions because I like the companionship. I am trying hard
to feel butterflies or some kind of attraction to him,
but there's nothing there. I was told that I should
be with someone who loves me more than I love him.
Is this true? How could I be in love? How
could he be in love with me after only two months?
If I continue to date him, well, I eventually want

(02:33):
to have sex with him? Well I ever love him
as much as he loves me? Or should I end
this now so he doesn't end up getting hurt? Please help?
Or do you have a lot of questions? I mean
it's only been two months. I say, slow down. You
want him to slow down? I want you to slow
down too, because you're really getting ahead of yourself. Um.
You know with all these questions, a little some of

(02:56):
them a little crazy. UM, I think these are the
certains you should have. Is he a good man? Do
his actions match with his word? Does he treat you well?
I mean you already said that he was thoughtful, he
was a hard worker. You know, you said you like
the companionship, all of that stuff. Uh, you know, the
negatives were that he wasn't very talkative and you have

(03:18):
to do most of the talking when you're together, and
that you know that you're not attracted to him. I
get that, But but you know the hard worker, the
good man, and you know, does he does he mean
what he say? Things like that? Those are some of
the characteristics that you look for in a good man.
So to answer your question, though, yes, physical attraction is important,

(03:39):
but if you're gonna look like to build a relationship
or eventually get into a marriage with someone down the line,
you need more than just the physical Okay, you need
you just need more than that. I mean, that's not
going to sustain you, sustain you throughout a marriage and
a relationship. You need some of the other characteristics to
go with that. So I mean, I say, give it time.

(04:01):
Two months is a very short period. Uh. You know,
you might have a change of heart. You might grow
to care about this man if he treats you you know,
very well and all of that, uh you know. And
if not, you know, you can let him go and
be free for another woman. But if it doesn't work,
it doesn't work. But I think I still think two
months is too early to tell Steve. Lord, Lord, Lord,

(04:26):
I can't believe you didn't miss this whole letter, did
I selling you such a nice person, wonderful things you
said to this woman. But this ain't what this letter
is about. Enlighten us, Steve, How important is physical attraction?
Let me just get to what this letters about. This

(04:47):
A fart of your old female with no kids, have
never been married. M hm, chick, somebody ain't been that
physically attracted to huh, you're gonna say that? Just start Hello, Hello, checkmate.
I've been dating a man for two months. He's a
great guy that's consistent, thoughtful, and hard work. He got

(05:10):
all the quis I'm looking for in the mail. But
here's my problem. I am not physically attracted to him.
He's a little overweight and he's really shy. Bam, that's
what the latter about. Ugly, he fat and he know it.
What this is about this man is ugly, he fat,

(05:34):
and he know it. Listen to me, I'm not physically
attracted to him. That's cause he ugly. He's a little
overweight and he fat, and he shot he know it,
and pushed him into a shild ugly his whole life,
and then threw the man into a shell. Y. We

(05:57):
have a decent enough time together when we go out,
but he's not very talking. He's not talking to because
he can't believe you still him. He can't believe you
still him, so he tried not to say too much
so he don't blow it. So he's sitting there, man,

(06:22):
I can't oh my damn mouth, hold on, hold up,
So I do most of the talking. He letting you
leave he's already telling me that he loves me, and
he knows my feelings aren't the same. The reason he's
telling you that it's because he ain't never got this

(06:43):
far befolk, so he no, your feelings for him ain't
the same. I ain't been farther, be far. No way
you could love me the way I love you with
my fat of than the letter. In the letter you're

(07:06):
not seeing he's been talking about Madge and not telling
me moving too fast. What you meant was he'd been
talking about Madge and you don't know if you can
keep looking at it for the rest of your life
to death. Do your part. That's what this letter is about.
We come back the rest of the same. Oh, it's

(07:27):
gonna be more of the same, all right. The subject
is how important is physical attraction anything. He's a fourty
year old female wanting to know how important is physical attraction.
He's a little overweight and shy. He talked, she talked
a lot. He doesn't talk at all. We'll be back
not physically attracted to him ugly, We'll be back with

(07:49):
most ugly he is. Steve's response, Come on, Steve, right now.
We need you for Part two. Well here, how Shirley
didn't understand physical important? It's physical or trash? Well is everything?
Even in this letter, she's dating a man that she

(08:10):
says she's not physically attracted to him. He's a little
overweight and he's really shot. That's because he's ugly. No
overweight is fat. And the shyness is he knows you
ain't the first person to tell him you ugly and fat.

(08:31):
That's why he shot. He has heard this refun He
just waiting on you to repeat it. That's the shyness.
Now you gotta do all the talking because you're talking
to and he quiet you. Damn right it quiet. He
trying not to blow it. He's even talking about marriage.
I told him he's moving too fast for me. That's

(08:54):
too fast for you. Ain't nothing too fast ask for him.
I feel as I'm going through the motions because I
like the companionship. I am trying hard to feel butterflies
or some kind of attraction to him, but there's nothing.
Now it's hard to feel something for ugly person. You

(09:21):
want butterflies hard. See butterflies is a fluttering in your
stomach when you look at your man, and it turns
your store that's another feeling. See, butterflies is something fluttering
in your stomach when you're looking at a man and
it tans your stomach and you feel a little you

(09:45):
feel swallowing it, and you had you know, you know
how you feel right for you throw up? I don't
know how you start tasting the inside of your mouth.
That's because he other ste she says, he's a good man.
Most ugly men make good men. We have to we

(10:07):
got now, no, so you have to say we I've
been on the track, understand that. So I understand that.
But I got I got some other things working for
me that helped me out. Okay, Like you know, I
got sense of humor. You know, I got nice teeth

(10:28):
and two dimples when I gained a lot of weight,
to dimples just connected. So it's just a line going
under my fight. But when I keep my weight down,
I have dimples. And then and then I went out
and I made myself some money. Fine, you see that.

(10:49):
I don't say now now he ain't done that. Now,
I was told that I should be with someone who
loves me more than I love him. Well, now you
have it. He already got that for you. Now, how
could he be in love with me after only two

(11:12):
months because he ugly. The fact that you didn't set
the cross from him for two months has called him
to love me. He ain't never set cross from nobody
for two months. Dinner, laughing, having fun. You damn right,
he want to marry you If I continue to date him,

(11:35):
I would eventually want to have sex with him. Now
that not now, that's when it's gonna get real hard.
I'm gonna just tell you right now what means it's
hard to have sex with an ugly person. I've done
that with the lights off. The hardest part of sex
with an ugly person is afterwards. What do you mean?

(11:56):
Because you got to deal with yourself. After that, you
start asking yourself questions like how could have? What's wrong
with the hell was I thinking? I need? Then you
gotta go to the Lord ask for forgiveness. You ever

(12:17):
been with somebody so fine you didn't even bother asking
the Lord for forgiveness? But wouldn't they tow up? You
gotta go to it. I would eventually want to have
sex with him. I want to see that. It's gonna
be hard when you get through, though, and you're sitting

(12:38):
up looking at him. You're gonna realize what you're doing. Well,
I ever love him as much as he loves me.
That's impossible. You can't love ugly. They love it, how
do you know? And ugly? A lot of times in

(13:01):
my life. I'll put some loving on you. Girl. You
ain't been no well because I loved you? Or should
I end this right now so he doesn't end up
getting hurt? He hurt every morning when he looked up looking.
You can't hurt people, know more, unless either took all

(13:23):
the mirrors out of his house. He hurt every morning.
It's hard to hurt ugly people. We already to hurt. Oh,
now it's we. It's been weed. I know what I'm
talking about. What I'm staying that is up. Tommy ain't
not riding with y'all here thinking you attracted with your

(13:46):
strange looking you're the one like a turtle, built like
one too that high? What is that? That's a shill?
He got, No, John Lyne, I don't think he cute
could hold up? He could that be time? No, no, no,

(14:13):
not any time, no no, no. Key had never been
married at ain't time. I'm not physically attractive to him.
He a little old Wait, and he really shot. Tommy
ain't shot to combat to his ugliness and to the opposite.
We have to count forward with here, so he overacts
to act like he's not learned that at the school.
Down the detail, US or Instagram, what's your thoughts on

(14:37):
today's strawberry letters? Became a theater major to deal with
his looks. Better Join me tomorrow at one ThM Eastern
Time on Facebook Live. Okay, you're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show.