I Can't Do That Often - 12.26.25

The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Friday, December 26th, 2025. Subject: "I Can't Do That Often"

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
And if you need advice on relationships, on work, on sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot
com and click.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Submit Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
That's all you have to do, and we could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Right now. You never know, it could be yours.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
All right, thank you, nephew. Subject. I can't do that often.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I think this letter deserves a disclaimer, so if you
have young kids in the car, you might not want
them to hear this.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Here we go. Dear Stephen Shirley.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
I'm twenty eight years old and I'm dating a really
nice forty year old man. He's been married twice, and
according to him, both marriages ended because his wives got
lazy and tried to deprive him of sex. He also
complain about them spending too much money. Well, since we've
been together, he's been a great provider and money has

(01:06):
never been an issue. I wanted to get to know
him better, to see if he's the reason he had
the two divorces after almost a year of dating, I
think it was the sex that drove his two wives away.
This man has a very high sex drive, and I
find it hard to keep up with him in the bedroom.
It's not just the high sex drive, it's his size too.

(01:30):
He is unbelievably well endowed, and I've set limits on
how often we have sex by telling him I'm waiting
for marriage. That's helped keep him off me for a while,
but now he's coming for me all the time because
he's claimed me as his third wife. I told him
we haven't even been together a year, so he needs

(01:50):
to slow.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Down on the marriage talk.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
I don't like telling him no, but I can't do
it as often as he'd like to. He's too much
for me, and I feel like I should be the
one that's got.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
All of the stamina. Because I'm a lot younger than
he is.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
I'm finding it harder and harder to keep him happy
without having a lot of sex.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
He knows what he's working with.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
So he should respect my body enough to put a
reasonable time limit on our activities in the bedroom. If
I'm going to be his third wife, I'll have to
said guidelines on how often we're intimate. Do you think
that will be a deal breaker for him? Well, I'm
not really concerned about him right at this moment. I'm

(02:33):
concerned more about you. And why are you more worried
about his feelings and what's going on with your own
body and how you feel.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
This forty year old man is only thinking of his needs.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
He wants sex, and he wants a lot of it,
which is okay if both parties agree. You got to
be in agreement with this stuff. But that's not the
case here. He's selfish with what he wants. He's thinking
about the fact that this may be he's not thinking
about the fact that I should say that this is
causing you some discomfort, some pain. He's got you so

(03:06):
upset that you can't keep up with him that all
you do is second guess yourself. I like that you
put him on a sex diet. That is a good
thing if he's if he's too much, you know right now,
just imagine if you get married to this guy. Yeah,
you need some guidelines. You asked about setting them. You
absolutely must do what's best for you in this instance.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Okay, he's not trying to hear what you have to say.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Anyway, he may be well in doubt, but does he
really know what he's doing with it?

Speaker 1 (03:36):
You know, all the time? Does he know?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
I mean, you know, sex should be fun, it should
be pleasurable, it should be enjoyable. So please continue to
go at your own pace, your own pace, okay, and
make him make the necessary adjustments in this situation. Please
don't marry him right now because you can't handle him
right now. And if you can't handle him right now,
if you get married to him, and he's really gonna

(04:00):
think he should get it all the time, So you
need to rethink this situation. If this is not this
might not be for you. It might be just be
too much for you.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Steve, Well, well, well, well, well, I know that you've
asked me in the past.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Surely, yes, not to make these letters out me.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
But you can't help it, can you, especially ones like these?

Speaker 4 (04:28):
Well, be honest, this ain't about me at all, But
I got I got a couple of things I need
to address about this letter that it's gonna sound like
I know what I'm talking about, but I'm gonna do
it in a lighthearted way because this problem that you.

Speaker 5 (04:45):
Have, lady, Eh, that problem is not as widespread as
people make it out to be.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
In other words, this ain't a very com I'm in
the problem. All we like to say it is, Oh,
we'll lie.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
About it, but this everybody.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
Don't have this problem right here, and we will discuss
the real problem in a minute. You're twenty eight dating
this forty you old man been married twice and according
to him, both his marriage ended because his wise and
here is the key, got lazy and tried to deprive

(05:33):
him of sex. Now the key word in this letter
is they got lazy, meaning they didn't want to they
didn't feel like it.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Uh not now maybe some other time. Well yeah, and
why is that? Because of what he working with here?

Speaker 1 (05:56):
In that wrong?

Speaker 4 (05:57):
You got to know, you got to know, you know
if you're blessed or not. And you got to learn
how to distribute your blessings. Okay, you can't just pass
out blessings all the time. You got to you got
to distribute your blessings different.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
We come back.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
I'm gonna share with you some things that people haven't
looked at in this letter. You just think she can't
handle the way he is he won't sex all the time,
and he's well and doubt he's just too much.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Well, you know, we'll talk about that.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Hang on, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter, subject,
I can't do that often. All right, we'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 6 (06:59):
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Speaker 2 (07:29):
All right, See this letter I think deserves the disclaimer.
If you have small children in the car writing with
you as you listen to this letter, you might not
want them to hear this one. But having said that,
and having said that, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
You know, I do that often.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
The disclaim is real. But I'm gonna try to be.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
Very small and I'm going to be very cagy with
how i handle this good because we all know what
we're talking about. This as this twenty eight year old
girl is dating this forty year old woman is tea
and wait dating this for the old man that's been
divorced twice. And he's been divorced because he say the
women were lazy and deprived him of sex and because
he wants it too often. And you've discovered that in

(08:13):
dealing with him. But it's not just his high sex drive.
It's the size of what he's dealing with its creating problems.
But you know, once again, that's surely and I talked
about at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
I try not to make these letters about and I.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
Won't on this one right here, But somehow I don't
really have all that problem.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
I had that problem in.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
The past before complicasions, but then and then I've also
had the problem where I just wasn't quite enough. You know,
I've been on both sides of the coin I've had
talking about what you're doing.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Well, hold up, non you know, hello, hello, hello, Hello, way.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Read the letter anyway.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Cat anyway anyway. It's not just as high dress sex
drives decidey too. He's unbelievably well and down.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
I've set limits on how often we have sex by
telling him I'm waiting for marriage. Now.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
That kind of brought you some time right there. I
told him we haven't been together. He claimed you as
his third wife. You told him we ain't been together
long enough, so we need to slow down on the
marriage talk. I don't like telling him no, but I
can't do it as often as he liked to, and
he's too much for me. I feel like I should
be the one that's got all the stamina because I'm
a lot younger than he is. You know you're gonna

(09:37):
learn that ain't got nothing to do with it. Nah,
we talking about me now, nine, That's why I come
here that now.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Hold on now.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Little girl, hold on, little girl, hold now. You know
I ain't all of what he is you talking about.

Speaker 4 (09:54):
But you know you know I have I have and
you know I have had people you know, got to
catch their.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Breath, you know what I'm saying, Coach time you know
here now and then you know right here, I've never
had no lord.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
I ain't never had nobody like grab their clothes and
run out of the room. You know, just because I
walked out the bathroom, anybody went like, I can't try this.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
You know, I ain't never had that problem. Anyway. He
knows what he's.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
Working with, so he should respect my body enough to
put a reasonable time living on our activities in the bedroom.
If I'm going to be his third wife, I'll have
to set some guidelines. Are hating we in him it?
Do you think this would be a deal break from him?
I think at the rate this is going, he will
be looking for his fourth wife. That's what I think
is gonna happen. Sureley is absolutely right. You cannot marry
this man. He is too much. He is too much

(10:48):
for most people. Two women in front of you have
tried this and failed. You are number three and you
are failing, and you ain't even the white see y'all
getting man thanking you, mad man. You gonna cut him
off just so you can have a husband. But you
got to deal with all these blessings he got.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
He's stupid. He don't know how to do it. Now.
What this man needs to do is before he.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
Starts meeting other women, he's got to have some questions
for women. He's got to go at this and be
a little bit more conniving and a little bit more telling. So, Shirley,
you're about to date me the man in the letter,
and I'm gonna add I'm gonna interview you. Now, I'm

(11:33):
gonna interview you all right, now here we go, let
me ask you any baby girl?

Speaker 3 (11:38):
How you doing today? Baby?

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (11:40):
How are you? Honey?

Speaker 2 (11:41):
You know?

Speaker 4 (11:42):
I want to ask you a couple of questions. I
know we were talking about being into it, but I
just have a couple of questions, you know, see, huh.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Okay, let me ask you something right here.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
When you go to a fast food restaurant and you
have to drive through one, do you ever ask for supersize?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
No?

Speaker 2 (12:05):
No, no, I'm no, I'm trying to, you know, watch
my sick, watch my way.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
We're gonna have some problem.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
But let me ask you another question right here. How
do you handle extreme pressure?

Speaker 1 (12:20):
I work well under pressure.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
But okay, that's good, that's good. That's good. Right there. Okay,
let me ask you a question. Are you very limber?

Speaker 1 (12:33):
You know I used to be in my younger day.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
Well, you have like in the gymnastics or cheer lead
or anything like that. Okay, well that ain't good right there.
When the last time you had surgery?

Speaker 1 (12:47):
Surgery?

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Surgery? Do you do well with anesthesia and stuff like that?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
I've never really had.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
And one last question right here, do you have insurance.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
To have insurance?

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yes? Oh, well I don't think you and I should
be dated.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
Why you probably wondered why I asked you questions like that. Oh,
it's just a little problem I've had in the past.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Leave your comments on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
On Today's Strawberry.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Letters, check out how the Surgery.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast coming on demand.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Good morning, This is Shirley Strawberry and Tims.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
The season for happiness and love and giving and family,
Happy Holidays from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.