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July 10, 2025 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Thursday, July 10th, 2025. Subject: "I Didn't Know My Wife Hates Me"

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, nephew, Thank you. Subject. I didn't know my
wife hates me. Dear Stephen Shirley. My wife and I
had ups and downs in our marriage. She hasn't been
home in almost two weeks because she thinks I'm cheating
on her. Her co worker was driving by one of
the trashy motels in town and she told my wife
that I was there with a woman. My wife knows

(00:49):
that I do HVAC work on the side, so she
should have believed I was there to fix the air conditioning.
I would not be stupid enough to cheat in broad daylight.
I gave my my phone and I let her search
my clothes, car, and computer. She said she can't trust me,
so she left. Fast forward to two days ago, when

(01:09):
I called her to see if she talked to me.
She wanted us to talk in person, so she came home.
She was acting mean and she would not tell me
where she's staying. She went to the bathroom and I
checked her phone calls and texts. I saw that she
texted her sister some very nasty stuff about me right
before she came over. She texted that she hates me

(01:31):
and she doesn't think I cheated on her because I
smelled sour all the time and my sex is not good.
She texted that she'd been looking for an excuse, any
excuse to leave me, and she's already talked to a
lawyer about illegal separation. When she came back in the den,
I told her that I didn't want to talk anymore,
so she left. I called her sister and I told

(01:52):
her I saw the text messages. She confirmed that my
wife has told her many times that she hates me
and little things that I do annoy her. I would
have felt better if she had said it to my
face instead. Is it best to talk things through with
her and see if I can change her mind, or
is it best to let her go.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Should I try to save my marriage? Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:16):
To be honest, I'm always a proponent of saving a marriage,
and that's if it's salvagable.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Having said that, I don't think your marriage is. I
don't think you can save this. I mean, you need
something to work with here, and you have nothing because
your wife hates you. She's already talked to an attorney
about a legal separation. You saw it in her phone
messages and her text messages, and her sister confirmed it
as well. I'm sorry because I know this had to

(02:46):
be crushing for you, and what a way to find out.
But what married couple doesn't get on each other's nerve
from time to time. But this is a little bit different.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Okay. Your wife wants out, and I think she should
be woman enough to.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Stay end up like you said, and go face to
face with you and tell you. Although it doesn't matter
at this point, she's taking the cowards way out. But
the keyword here is out out. I think you should
get out. I think you need to let her go
because she hates you, all right, and don't worry, she'll

(03:20):
soon find out that the grass is not greener on
the other side.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
But hopefully by then it'll be too late.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Steve, Well, let me just about saying this to you.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Why am I laughing already?

Speaker 4 (03:37):
I don't know why you would write this and say,
dear Steve, and should you should have just said this?
Shouldn't because I'm gonna tell you right now. I, unlike Shirley,
I'm finna tell you the truth, Shirley said.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Which I want to just show you the difference.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
Shirley said that in response to you, I'm always a
proponent of trying to save a marriage if it's savable,
and that's what Sharon is saying.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Here's my take. I'm not saving a thing.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
I'm gone, especially with a letter like this.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I don't know what you trying to save, homie.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
But Lord, let me help you understand something everybody knows.
It's well documented that I am on marriage number three.
I have taken full responsibility for the results of the
first two. But now let me tell you something that

(04:50):
I have also experienced. I didn't know one of my
wives hated me either.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
I didn't know.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
I just thought something was wrong. It took me four
years to discover that I was hated.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
I thought, you know, I said something crazy and I
kept apologizing. I thought, you know that it was just
you know, having a bad day. Four years of bad.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Days, four years of bad days, them ain't bad days.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
She hates you, and it shouldn't take you four years
to find that out.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Now you the ran across some text that validated what
you was feeling. But I can tell you right now,
this marriage is over as far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Now, you can stay in it if you want to.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
Because your wife thinks that you're cheating on her because
a coworker was driving by want of the trash your
hotels in town and saw your call over there and
told her that you was over there, and then you
got an h VAC company and and and you work
on the side, so she should have believed that you
was Daddy fixed the air condition. Okay, sound valid to me.

(06:16):
Then he said, I would not be stupid enough.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
To cheat in broad daylight.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Well, sir, people cheat in broad daylight at midnight, in
the early afternoon, on the lunch break, on the way
to work, in the snack room, on a cigar break,
in the parking lot, in the car, in the janitor's closet.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Day at Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 5 (06:59):
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(07:22):
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Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, see let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject I didn't know my wife hates me?

Speaker 2 (07:35):
No, and my response is I didn't neither.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Not about you.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
On one of my marriages, it took me four years
to scover that I was hated. It's a shocking thing
to find out that a person hates you. I guess
it is.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
It did validate what I was thinking of, because it's
hard to hide hate. Hate surfaces in a lot of ways.
So let me just go through this letter right quickly.
He was at a whole sleazy hotel. A girlfriend of
his wife's saw mock his car parked at a sleazy hotel,
told his wife she accused him of cheating. He got

(08:16):
an HVAC company. He said he was over there doing
some work on the air conditions, so she should have
believed it. Then he said, I would not be stupid
enough to cheat in broad daylight. Well, sir, I want
to remind you the cheating the courage twenty four sevens
Cheating is a daytime sport, is an afternoon sport.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is in the parking lot sport.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
It's a sport that you do on your lunch break.
It's a break spurt that you do on your cigar break.
Cigarette breaks a sport that you do before you go
to work. After work, it's happy hour becomes a whole
lot happier when you're cheating. There's a lot of times
that you could cheat. Cheat on your boss's desk, and
cheat on the copy machine. There's a lot of times
you can cheat. So let's stop this. Well, don't say

(08:56):
I would not be stupid enough to cheat in broad daylight.
When duty calls, you must respond to anyway. I gave
my wife my phone. She sewd shit. Fast forward two
days ago when I called to see if she talked
to me after she she said she can't trust you.
After she checked your phone, which was clean, and she

(09:16):
left so when I called it and see if she
talked to me, she wanted to talk in person, so
she came over to the house. She was acting mean,
wouldn't tell you where she was staying. She went to
the bathroom, so you checked her phone to text, and
you saw in her text to her sister she had
some very nasty stuff to say right before she came over. Now,

(09:40):
all this is hate. She texts that she hates me. Well,
there you come.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Day. Once they say they hate you, you can quit wondering.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
She hates you, and she don't think I cheated on
her because I smelled sour all the time.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
She hates you.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
I've actually been told I don't like the way you smell,
and I bathe and shower regularly, and you have very
expensive cologne. So I knew that was hate. I knew,
I knew goodn't hell, Well, that was hate. Sure, you've
been sitting next to me for twenty five years. Have
I ever stinkd.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
No, not at all, Not at all in the morning, No,
definitely not.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Well, if something happened in the middle of the day,
then I might stink after that.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Right now, just at work.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
Though, right she texted me she's been looking for an
excuse to leave me, and she already talked to a
lawyer about legal separation.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
I told her I didn't want to talk to you anymore.
She left. I called her sister.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
Her sister told me that she'd have told her many
times she hate me and little things I do annoy her.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
I would have felt better if she'd have said this
to my face. Now you wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
So is it best to talk things through with her
and see if I can change her mind? Or is
it best to let her go? I try to save
our married you can't save hatred. Though It's hard to
go to counseling for I hatred. I've never hated anybody
in my life. I don't know anybody I've ever hated.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
That's good, well, good things, Well, William, what wait?

Speaker 3 (11:17):
You thought about it a little more? One person?

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Well, I heard a podcast for the time and I
hated that was that?

Speaker 5 (11:23):
That?

Speaker 2 (11:24):
When that was that? That was very brief, with just
a brief moment of hate.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Let me retract that statement. I've never hated nobody.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Why are you making it about you?

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Oh thirty three thousand from me? That was the first
person I hated. I looked for him for seven years.
I looked at him for seven years. About that thirty
three thousand.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
You weren't married to him. What does this have to
do with the letter?

Speaker 2 (11:49):
In fact, and I wouldn't have married him after you
told that money.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
You know what I'm saying, You fell out of love.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
That's how deep hate go. Trying to advance you, Shirley,
I'm trying not to let you down. Ask me a
question about this letter, and I'm gonna show you the
hate in it.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Ask me anything you want to about this letter.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
She said that he smells sour. You covered that.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's hate. That's hate right there.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
Nobody smells sour.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Hate for the word it really is.

Speaker 4 (12:23):
You smell sour. That's that's like old cabbage or something. Yeah,
don't nobody want to hear that? That's hate.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Go ahead the bell.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Your sex is not good? She telling me his sex
wasn't good.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
That's below the bell.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, that's.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
That's hate.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
You.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
I hate you so much. I'm trying to hurt you.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, she's crushing.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
We got six kids in here. Now you're telling me
how bad my sex is. So I'm in here doing
something right now, all this here, I might not be
all that, but I ain't seen nobody else knocking to
go down to get you even on. And since you're

(13:05):
trying to hurt me with hate, let me say something
to you.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
My saix. Ain't they good? I got news for you yours?
Ain't they good?

Speaker 1 (13:12):
How about up basterr comments under Day's Strawberry Letter and
Steve Hark.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
You remember that time I just got up, walked out
the room and didn't come back.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
You want to know why? Say it? Say it it
ain't good.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
On Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. You can download it
today for it never sounded so good. Coming up to
forty six minutes.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
I want to tell you what your mama told me.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Kid's Junior and Sports Talk right after this, No, mom,
you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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