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September 29, 2025 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Monday, September 29th, 2025. Subject: "I Didn't Mean What I Said"

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com.
All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter,
and we could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like I'm going to read this one right.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Here, right now. You never know, it could be yours.
You never know, You never know.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it to
you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Thank you. Nephew's subject. I didn't mean what I said.
Dear Stephen Shirley.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
My husband and I have been married for eight years
and we've known each other fifteen years. We have been
through ups and downs like most couples, but when we argue,
it's because of something that my husband has remembered from
the past. I won't say he's insecure, but he's always
worried about me leaving him for my ex boyfriend or
this female I pooled around with one time when we

(00:55):
were separated.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
I guess it's my fault for.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Him thinking I would leave him, because when I get mad,
I say a lot of things I do not mean.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I want to hurt him and win the argument.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
I always have to fix it for days after we've
made up. The last fight we had is a lot
different because I was still mad days later and he
overheard me on the phone.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
With the woman I used to fool around with.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I told her that my husband is mediocre in bed
and she has way better skills than he does. I
told her that my ex boyfriend has been begging for
me to meet up with him at a hotel huh
by his house, and I was thinking about going because
he has a lot more stamina than my husband does.
I wasn't paying attention to the camera that we have

(01:40):
on the front porch, or the fact that it has
a microphone on it. My husband was in the house
and heard the entire conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Conversation Yeah, I continued to sit on.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
The porch after my call, and he talked through the
camera to tell me to come inside. I tried to
tell him that I was still upset and I didn't
mean anything I said, but there was no way to
fix it. I really don't think my side chick has
better skills than him. I was talking bs because I
was still salty with him. I've never cheated on him

(02:16):
unless we were separated, So I need him to believe
that it wasn't serious. I wasn't serious. How do I
get my husband to trust me again? Please help? Wow? Hm,
trust is a hard thing and this is just not
cool what you're doing. Okay, you really really you need

(02:36):
to grow up. I mean you're very immature. Words hurt
words lead to actions. That's why your husband is upset.
He thinks you know because you said it, you did it,
and you need to stop saying stupid stuff that you
don't mean. You can't take any of that stuff back.
You can't take it back, period. It's common sense that

(02:57):
if it's the only thing you guys argue about, this
is what you say. According to you, is what you've
said in the past. That you should stop talking. Your
husband is not insecure, but like most men, he's got
an ego, a fragile ego, and no man wants to
hear that someone else has better skills than him or

(03:17):
more stamina than him. What is wrong with you? You
really need to stop this. I mean, even if you
say you haven't cheated, he's not gonna believe you because
he heard what you said.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
He heard it coming out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
You're playing a dangerous game here with your husband, with
your marriage, all of that trust. That's a big thing
in marriage, a very very important thing. Once it's broken,
it's really really hard to get back, if ever, if
at all. But your husband is still here, he's still
there with you, so maybe there's a chance. So you
got to stop playing with this feelings. You've got to

(03:51):
grow up. You're hitting way below the belt. If you
don't stop this and work on fixing your marriage and
trying to get your husband to come back around. And
these are things that you've broken, you gotta lose him.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
You really are Steve.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
Wow, this is really one of the more ignorant letters
we've had in a while, and we've had some ignorance.
The subject is I didn't mean what I said. The
problem is he heard you. This is your whole problem.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
This whole thing is her. You know, I don't even know.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
I don't even know how this dude still here is
one of the worst. Look y'all been married eight years,
y'all known each other fifteen, she said, We've been through
ups and downs like most couples. But when we arega,
see now, this ain't like most couples now not reading
this letters like most couples.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
I want to tell you this right now. This is rare.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
But when we augur, it's because of something that my
husband has remembered from the past. And I won't say
he's insecure, but he's always worried about me leaving him.
Now why was he worried about him leaving him? Guess
what she says for my ex boyfriend? All this female

(05:13):
I fool around with one time we was separated. Now,
let's just deal with that part right here. Your husband
has an awful lot to wear. Any what he looking at,
what's she looking at?

Speaker 3 (05:31):
What you're looking at him? Fault? What you're looking at
her fault.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Everybody walked by is a potential threat. She can't even
really relax. If a guy walked by, that's a threat.
If a woman walked by, that's a threat. Girl, Girl,
you too much? And she did.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
She said, I guess it's my fault for him thinking.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
And I would leave him because when I get mad,
I say a lot of things I do not mean.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
I want to hurt him and win the argument. Are
you stupid? Hurting? Don't mean you win? What is y'all
y'all have an argument trying to one up each other.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Listen when you argue with your wife, this ain't cracking
or the joneses. Your mama so fat? Your mama so fat,
she need a belt on the size of the equator. Well,
your mama so fat?

Speaker 3 (06:28):
That is what this is. Are y'all arguing to one
up each other?

Speaker 2 (06:34):
So immature?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
That's not winning an argument?

Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, Hold on, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Subject of today strawberry letter. I didn't mean what I said.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1 (07:27):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today Strawberry letter,
the subject, I didn't mean what I said.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
I didn't mean it.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Well, but what you're saying it for? Because y'all all
got like fools.

Speaker 4 (07:39):
First of all, you've been together for fifteen years, but
you think your man is insecure because he's afraid you're
gonna leave him for your ex boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
All a female you fooled around with when y'all were separating.
Who Who's just a lot to worry about? Me? He
can't get the man, he can't. I'm going out with
the girls for happy hour, Happy hour.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
With the with the what with who? See, he ain't
got to worry about who's gonna be down there? All
he gotta worry about it is people are gonna be
down there, some people.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
See.

Speaker 4 (08:19):
Most people gotta worry about who are all gonna be
down there? And the dude wait to hear some other
dude's names or woman wait to hear some women name.
When you say you're going to have it hour, you
first question is is people gonna be there?

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Because your everybody?

Speaker 4 (08:41):
And then I guess it's my fault for him thinking
I would leave him when I get mad, because I
say a lot of things I don't mean because I
want to hurt him and win the argument.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
Hurting a person is how you win an argument.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
No, you gotta stop thinking of winning an argument and
thinking about suddenly and if you're arguing to win, you're
not going to do that, so now and then.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
You always got to fix it.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
For days after we'd been made up in the last fight,
we had a lot of which was a lot different
because I was still mad days later, and he overheard
me on the phone.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
With the woman I used to fool around when I
told her on the phone.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
That my husband is mediocre in bed and she got
way better skills than he do.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
And he heard this with the woman you used to
fool around. He heard that.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
That ain't insecurity. That's not insecure. That ain't he heard it.
That's a blatant statement. And you wasn't trying to hurt
him because you was talking about him without his knowledge.
So now this ain't how you win this argument because
you're talking about the man behind his back, So you
can't say that you was trying to win an argument.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
By hurting him. You wasn't even talking to you.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
Then I told her that my ex boyfriend been begging
me to meet up with him at a hotel by
his house, and I was thinking about going because he
got a lot more stamina than my husband. Do No,
wait a minute, this man is here in the feeling.
First of all, he ain't got no skills.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Now, he ain't got no stamping. Snap, what is he?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
The man wants to hear that?

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Why is he here? See?

Speaker 4 (10:33):
And then once again, you're talking to you so far
on this latter I don't even know why you still
calling me your hugs, cause I'm telling you right now this.
And so I wasn't paying attention to the camera that
we got on front porch, and he got microphone on
my husbands.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
In the house, hurd the entire come and say.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
I sat on the porch after the call, he talked
to the camera, told me to come inside.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
I tried to tell him I was still upset and
didn't mean anything I said.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
But there was no way to fix I really don't
think my side chick has better skills him. Are you
listening to what you're writing? You're so stupid, You height
stupid I see. Not only did you say stupid stuff,
stupid stuff, you height stupid stuff, you actually said, I

(11:21):
don't think my side chick has better skills than him?

Speaker 2 (11:25):
What let her have it?

Speaker 4 (11:28):
I've never cheated on him unless we were separated. What
you just y'all wasn't separated when you was in here
telling your girlfriend that she had better skills and your
ex boyfriend that you was talking about to your side
chick because she don't care, because all y'all do everything.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
And I was.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
Talking to BS because I was still salty with him.
Uh so I need I need him to believe that
I wasn't serious. How do I get my husband to
trust me again? Please help?

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Question number one? Is he steal your husband?

Speaker 4 (12:08):
See, I'm stuck with just him because you not my wife,
because you belong.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
To too many people.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
You the other woman, you got a side chick cheating
with you, you got a boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
I'm just gonna be realsh.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
This is one.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
This is on.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
This ain't no marriage trade and quit asking us fixed
though that's unfixable. Y'all need bish jakeson somebody like this
because I ain't got nothing, I don't know, just too
many people in here, ooh lord, Oh, here come to waitress. Oh,
here come the matrix, Here come to wait Oh the dishwasher.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Oh the bus boy. Oh look at that.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
Oh look at this girl over here sitting. Who was
this man just rubbed up against me. It's just too
many people in mere. I'm confused, I'm hot, I'm all this.
It's just too much going on. Child, I can't even eat.
Everybody in here flying to me. I'm just slobbling on myself.
It's too much, all.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Right, Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter like.

Speaker 4 (13:12):
This over I'm like, all it's about sixty five people
in here.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I tell to Steve Harvey at them dot com and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand as well.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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