July 26, 2023 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, in high school I liked a girl and she liked me. We talked on the phone and hung out together all the time and her mom and my mom were close too, so she was always at my house or I was at hers. By the time we graduated from high school, we were even closer and I told her that I wanted her to be more than my friend. She’s always been really close to her mom and tells her everything, so she told her mom that she and I were dating................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, guys, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot
com and just click submit Strawberry Letter and we could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, buggle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject. I don't think we're really cousins.
Dear Stephen Shirley. In high school, I liked a girl
and she liked me. We talked on the phone and
hung out together all the time, and her mom and
my mom were close too, so she always was at
my house or I was at hers. By the time
we graduated from high school, we were even closer, and
(00:48):
I told her that I wanted her to be more
than my friend. She's always been really close to her
mom and tells her everything, so she told her mom
that she and I were dating. Her mom told her
that I was her cousin. When she told me we
were related, I felt strange because we had kissed a
few times, we never questioned it. Though we stopped dating
(01:09):
and remained very close cousins, we still did everything together
and told each other everything, and by the time we
were in our mid twenties, we had both had a
bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.
I realized that I loved my quote unquote cousin and
she's a perfect woman for me. So I finally asked
(01:29):
my mom if we were really related. My mom said,
we're related somewhere down the line, but there is no
way for us to find out now because all of
the older relatives are deceased. I told my mom that
I'm in love with her and I want to be
with her. My mom told me to follow my heart.
I couldn't wait to tell my cousin how I really felt,
and I was relieved when she told me she's been
(01:51):
in love with me forever. Since then, we've made love
a few times, and I asked her to marry me.
She wants to do a search of our family tree first.
I don't think we're cousins and this is only postponing
our happiness. Should we search for answers or not? Well,
I'm with you on this one. I don't know. I
(02:12):
just don't believe your guys are cousins. I don't believe.
I think maybe you know, her mom told her that
because she didn't want you guys dating for whatever reason.
And you know, I don't want you guys, not because
I don't want it to be true or anything. I
just don't believe your mom. Both of them are telling
the truth. Even your mom said you were related somewhere
down the line, she didn't even know, and she said
(02:35):
there's no one in your family to validate it. But
I mean, there are ways you can search to find out.
It's just, I don't know, suspicious the way they handled
everything and the way they told you, And for that
very reason, Yes, I think you should find out if
you're related. I think you should do the search. I mean,
knowledgeous power. The truth will set you're free. What if
(02:56):
you want to have children down the line, you know
this is something you should know, whether or not you're related.
There's a lot to consider. You need a fact so
you can make an informed, a clear headed, right decision,
and nothing just based on your emotions. Like your mom
told you, just to follow your heart. It sounds like
you don't care though, if your cousins are not, and
(03:18):
your mom certainly doesn't care, but your girl wants to
know and it's important to her. So I think you
should do the search, and you know, whatever you guys
find out, let the chips fall, you know where they may.
I don't think you're really cousins. I don't know, and
if you find out that you're not, then you can
move forward.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Steve, Well, this is a short response for me because
I don't even understand. There's no advice to give in
this letter, like you don't normally have sections. Why I
break down what somebody said and what the other person said.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Is none of that in here?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And he just wants to know should they search? That's
his question.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Anyway, It ain't about that to me.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
If your mother if the woman that she's really close to,
and y'all been over each other's house, if that ain't
your mother's sister, and that woman that's not the sister
this girl that you're dating, and okay, let me put it.
The woman and your mama are not sisters, and then
(04:26):
her daughter is the woman you love.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
That ain't your cousin. So now that's.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Established right there. Now, this y'all cousin somewhere down the line.
Black people know what's happening. How far you get, lad
if all of them is dead, Black people know what's
happening now. What didn't happen is one of the men
(04:54):
in the family and strayed off somewhere, had a child.
Lot of wed locke and one of your aunts or
mama's is them now?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Everybody dead? Stuff? Y'all got bibles, Open up them with
old bibles and.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Read who who?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You ain't gonna see your name in there now once
you don't see your name, Just open and shut case
they know all the old people dead? Well, hot man,
So what are we talking about here?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I don't really think it's a case of.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
If you do the search, what you're gonna find, you're
not gonna find anything. And already you were in love
with the girl. She in love with the girl, I mean,
she in love with you. I mean, what if.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
They want kids? They're too far down the line for
that to affect anything you're saying.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I think they're way way down the line. Let me
tell you something. It was something dangerous. The boy's mother
would not have said follow your.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Heart, but the other mother was the one that said
their cousins. I think she said it because she didn't
want them to date.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
She just said that, well, okay, tell her mama, ask
or ask her mama how uh huh. But she didn't
even tell how these She can't even tell how these
other two is related, the two women.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
What's their relationship?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
They're just they're just really close, you know, only.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, cousins.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah, but they did it.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You do know they did it right.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yes, it's in the letter.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
They said it in the letter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yes, in the letter. We'll have part two of Steve
coming up at twenty three minutes after the our subject,
I don't think we're really cousins. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Hardy Morning Show. All right,
come on, Steve, let's recap today's interesting Strawberry Letters. Subject
I don't think we're really cousins. All right.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
This guy was in high school. He liked the girl
and that she liked him. They talked on the phone,
hung out together all the time. Her mom and my
mom were close too, so she was always at my house.
Never once in this letter does it say her mom
and his mom was related. By the time they graduated
(07:26):
high school, we were even closer. I told her we
want to be more than friends. She's always been really
close to her mom and tells everything, so she told
her mom she.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And I were dating.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Her mom told her I was her cousin, but your
mama ain't related to the boys, Mama, they're just so
now where that comes from. When she told me we
were related, I felt strange because I had kissed a
few times we never caught. She told we stopped dating
(08:01):
and remained close everything together. Then they went through a
bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.
And then he said, I realized I loved my cousin
and she's a perfect woman for me. So this dude
go and ask his mom if they really related. The
(08:21):
mother said, y'all related somewhere down the line, but ain't
no way to find out because all the older relatives
are dead.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You did, well, Okay, when's we talking about this folk?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I told my mom that I'm in love with her
and I want to be with her. My mom told
me to follow my heart. So then he ran and
told the girl who is he thinks his cousin how
it really felt, and he was relieved when she told
me she been in love with me forever. Well then
since then they'd have made love a few times and
I asked her to marry me. Yeah, she wants to
(08:58):
do a search of our family the tree first.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Because she don't want to come up and get in bad.
You know. Then half these people you think it's dead,
gonna show up at the wedding. Well, it ain't this strange.
You know.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
I'm Ertrue's least obout all the moon sidey I all have.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Old slave names and everything.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Frederick, you know, Frederick was your uncle, great great great
great uncle, Frederick Frederick Douglas.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Boy, you got a Afro just like him. You know,
be a guy.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
So she wants to do a search and to think,
and he said, I don't think we cousins, and this
is only postponing our happiness. Should we search for answers
or not? Okay, let me explain something to you, son.
When you get through searching, it ain't gonna change one
thing you feel about this girl. Come on, boy, when
(09:57):
you get through searching, it ain't gonna used the fact
that y'all in love with each other and y'all been together.
It ain't gonna erase nothing, no matter what the search say.
And if you find out you somewhere way down the line.
How far down the line is it?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now? How many people got to die?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Steve?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Well, all your evidence is dead. Down the line is dead.
But your mother and her mother ain't even related. So
what are y'all talking about?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
See? I think her mother didn't want them to date,
because immediately when she told him that, they stopped dating.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
If there's no relation between the two friends, well that
could be happening because maybe they just friends and the
two kids and other families.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a possibility. You know. That's
why I don't think their cousin. I don't think it
will hurt anything to do the search.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Because we see the problem with that is we're talking
about two mothers.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Though. See, once you have mothers involved, it ain't no,
you ain't in the family.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Mm hmm, what you mean?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
This woman is the mother of the boy all your
heart is the mother of the girl. Right, So how
are these two kids related?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
How am I missing something?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It could be through? Could it be through mar I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Two women were married to the same brothers or some friends.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That could happen.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
But now, yeah, I don't think there. I just don't
think they're related. What was that test you take that?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
We had that test one time. What is the name?
I think ancestry doctor. That's it right there.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I just did one. I just did a test. I
just did it.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I have people do mine for me.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
So that's what I'm saying. You don't have to have
living relatives, you know. So his mom said, everybody's dead
to prove whether or not there.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I can find stuff on my mother's side, but it
goes back to my father and it stops. Oh so
if down the line ain't here, you can still find
out what's going on.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
He love it though, Yeah, yeah, she loves him. She
wants she's the one that wants to know. I mean,
you do have to consider you have small children and everything.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Are you out, Steve? You're done well.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I told you I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Because you got awfully quiet right there.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
It was hard to raise anyway, don't have it?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Ain't that the truth?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You said? Well, yeah, you're gonna have a situation with him.
There ain't nothing wrong with him.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yes, all right, listen, guys. You can leave your comments
on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening
to The Harvey Morning Show.
Well, guys, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot
com and just click submit Strawberry Letter and we could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, buggle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject. I don't think we're really cousins.
Dear Stephen Shirley. In high school, I liked a girl
and she liked me. We talked on the phone and
hung out together all the time, and her mom and
my mom were close too, so she always was at
my house or I was at hers. By the time
we graduated from high school, we were even closer, and
(00:48):
I told her that I wanted her to be more
than my friend. She's always been really close to her
mom and tells her everything, so she told her mom
that she and I were dating. Her mom told her
that I was her cousin. When she told me we
were related, I felt strange because we had kissed a
few times, we never questioned it. Though we stopped dating
(01:09):
and remained very close cousins, we still did everything together
and told each other everything, and by the time we
were in our mid twenties, we had both had a
bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.
I realized that I loved my quote unquote cousin and
she's a perfect woman for me. So I finally asked
(01:29):
my mom if we were really related. My mom said,
we're related somewhere down the line, but there is no
way for us to find out now because all of
the older relatives are deceased. I told my mom that
I'm in love with her and I want to be
with her. My mom told me to follow my heart.
I couldn't wait to tell my cousin how I really felt,
and I was relieved when she told me she's been
(01:51):
in love with me forever. Since then, we've made love
a few times, and I asked her to marry me.
She wants to do a search of our family tree first.
I don't think we're cousins and this is only postponing
our happiness. Should we search for answers or not? Well,
I'm with you on this one. I don't know. I
(02:12):
just don't believe your guys are cousins. I don't believe.
I think maybe you know, her mom told her that
because she didn't want you guys dating for whatever reason.
And you know, I don't want you guys, not because
I don't want it to be true or anything. I
just don't believe your mom. Both of them are telling
the truth. Even your mom said you were related somewhere
down the line, she didn't even know, and she said
(02:35):
there's no one in your family to validate it. But
I mean, there are ways you can search to find out.
It's just, I don't know, suspicious the way they handled
everything and the way they told you, And for that
very reason, Yes, I think you should find out if
you're related. I think you should do the search. I mean,
knowledgeous power. The truth will set you're free. What if
(02:56):
you want to have children down the line, you know
this is something you should know, whether or not you're related.
There's a lot to consider. You need a fact so
you can make an informed, a clear headed, right decision,
and nothing just based on your emotions. Like your mom
told you, just to follow your heart. It sounds like
you don't care though, if your cousins are not, and
(03:18):
your mom certainly doesn't care, but your girl wants to
know and it's important to her. So I think you
should do the search, and you know, whatever you guys
find out, let the chips fall, you know where they may.
I don't think you're really cousins. I don't know, and
if you find out that you're not, then you can
move forward.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Steve, Well, this is a short response for me because
I don't even understand. There's no advice to give in
this letter, like you don't normally have sections. Why I
break down what somebody said and what the other person said.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Is none of that in here?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And he just wants to know should they search? That's
his question.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Anyway, It ain't about that to me.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
If your mother if the woman that she's really close to,
and y'all been over each other's house, if that ain't
your mother's sister, and that woman that's not the sister
this girl that you're dating, and okay, let me put it.
The woman and your mama are not sisters, and then
(04:26):
her daughter is the woman you love.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
That ain't your cousin. So now that's.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Established right there. Now, this y'all cousin somewhere down the line.
Black people know what's happening. How far you get, lad
if all of them is dead, Black people know what's
happening now. What didn't happen is one of the men
(04:54):
in the family and strayed off somewhere, had a child.
Lot of wed locke and one of your aunts or
mama's is them now?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Everybody dead? Stuff? Y'all got bibles, Open up them with
old bibles and.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Read who who?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You ain't gonna see your name in there now once
you don't see your name, Just open and shut case
they know all the old people dead? Well, hot man,
So what are we talking about here?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I don't really think it's a case of.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
If you do the search, what you're gonna find, you're
not gonna find anything. And already you were in love
with the girl. She in love with the girl, I mean,
she in love with you. I mean, what if.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
They want kids? They're too far down the line for
that to affect anything you're saying.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I think they're way way down the line. Let me
tell you something. It was something dangerous. The boy's mother
would not have said follow your.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Heart, but the other mother was the one that said
their cousins. I think she said it because she didn't
want them to date.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
She just said that, well, okay, tell her mama, ask
or ask her mama how uh huh. But she didn't
even tell how these She can't even tell how these
other two is related, the two women.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
What's their relationship?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
They're just they're just really close, you know, only.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, cousins.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah, but they did it.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You do know they did it right.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yes, it's in the letter.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
They said it in the letter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yes, in the letter. We'll have part two of Steve
coming up at twenty three minutes after the our subject,
I don't think we're really cousins. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Hardy Morning Show. All right,
come on, Steve, let's recap today's interesting Strawberry Letters. Subject
I don't think we're really cousins. All right.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
This guy was in high school. He liked the girl
and that she liked him. They talked on the phone,
hung out together all the time. Her mom and my
mom were close too, so she was always at my house.
Never once in this letter does it say her mom
and his mom was related. By the time they graduated
(07:26):
high school, we were even closer. I told her we
want to be more than friends. She's always been really
close to her mom and tells everything, so she told
her mom she.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And I were dating.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Her mom told her I was her cousin, but your
mama ain't related to the boys, Mama, they're just so
now where that comes from. When she told me we
were related, I felt strange because I had kissed a
few times we never caught. She told we stopped dating
(08:01):
and remained close everything together. Then they went through a
bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.
And then he said, I realized I loved my cousin
and she's a perfect woman for me. So this dude
go and ask his mom if they really related. The
(08:21):
mother said, y'all related somewhere down the line, but ain't
no way to find out because all the older relatives
are dead.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You did, well, Okay, when's we talking about this folk?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I told my mom that I'm in love with her
and I want to be with her. My mom told
me to follow my heart. So then he ran and
told the girl who is he thinks his cousin how
it really felt, and he was relieved when she told
me she been in love with me forever. Well then
since then they'd have made love a few times and
I asked her to marry me. Yeah, she wants to
(08:58):
do a search of our family the tree first.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Because she don't want to come up and get in bad.
You know. Then half these people you think it's dead,
gonna show up at the wedding. Well, it ain't this strange.
You know.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
I'm Ertrue's least obout all the moon sidey I all have.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Old slave names and everything.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Frederick, you know, Frederick was your uncle, great great great
great uncle, Frederick Frederick Douglas.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Boy, you got a Afro just like him. You know,
be a guy.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
So she wants to do a search and to think,
and he said, I don't think we cousins, and this
is only postponing our happiness. Should we search for answers
or not? Okay, let me explain something to you, son.
When you get through searching, it ain't gonna change one
thing you feel about this girl. Come on, boy, when
(09:57):
you get through searching, it ain't gonna used the fact
that y'all in love with each other and y'all been together.
It ain't gonna erase nothing, no matter what the search say.
And if you find out you somewhere way down the line.
How far down the line is it?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now? How many people got to die?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Steve?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Well, all your evidence is dead. Down the line is dead.
But your mother and her mother ain't even related. So
what are y'all talking about?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
See? I think her mother didn't want them to date,
because immediately when she told him that, they stopped dating.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
If there's no relation between the two friends, well that
could be happening because maybe they just friends and the
two kids and other families.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a possibility. You know. That's
why I don't think their cousin. I don't think it
will hurt anything to do the search.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Because we see the problem with that is we're talking
about two mothers.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Though. See, once you have mothers involved, it ain't no,
you ain't in the family.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Mm hmm, what you mean?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
This woman is the mother of the boy all your
heart is the mother of the girl. Right, So how
are these two kids related?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
How am I missing something?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It could be through? Could it be through mar I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Two women were married to the same brothers or some friends.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That could happen.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
But now, yeah, I don't think there. I just don't
think they're related. What was that test you take that?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
We had that test one time. What is the name?
I think ancestry doctor. That's it right there.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I just did one. I just did a test. I
just did it.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I have people do mine for me.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
So that's what I'm saying. You don't have to have
living relatives, you know. So his mom said, everybody's dead
to prove whether or not there.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I can find stuff on my mother's side, but it
goes back to my father and it stops. Oh so
if down the line ain't here, you can still find
out what's going on.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
He love it though, Yeah, yeah, she loves him. She
wants she's the one that wants to know. I mean,
you do have to consider you have small children and everything.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Are you out, Steve? You're done well.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I told you I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Because you got awfully quiet right there.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
It was hard to raise anyway, don't have it?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Ain't that the truth?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You said? Well, yeah, you're gonna have a situation with him.
There ain't nothing wrong with him.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yes, all right, listen, guys. You can leave your comments
on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening
to The Harvey Morning Show.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!