Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We could be reading your letter live on.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
The air, just like we're going to read this one
right here, right now, and you never know, it could
be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here. It is Rawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, neph you, thank you. Subject I don't ever
I don't want to ever go back. Subject, I don't
want to ever go back. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a
twenty nine year old married man and I'm living with
my dad at the moment because my wife was having
an emotional affair with a man that she works with.
I found messages between them and I called the man.
(00:48):
He told me that he loves my wife and he
hates he didn't meet her before I did. I wrote
by the job and I thought about waiting for him
to get off work, but I realized I had too
much to lose. Instead, I moved in with my dad
and I have found someone to help me get over
my wife, and I do not want to ever go
(01:08):
back home. My dad knows how I feel about my
new girl, but he advised me to go back home
because my wife is four months pregnant. She was pregnant
and texting her coworker stuff about our marriage, and he
was giving her advice. I told my dad that she
can be with her coworker, but give me my baby
when he is born. My dad pushed me to go
(01:29):
to counseling and work on my marriage. I was in
there thinking about the new girl most of the time.
I had a moment of weakness during a counseling session recently,
and I told my wife and the therapist that I
would move back home so we can work on our marriage.
I lied, that's not what I want. I am not
thinking the grass is greener on the other side, but
(01:50):
I don't want to go back to that dead grass
that I married. Only issue is that she's pregnant. I
have my dad in one ear saying that I have
to go back and give it another try for the
sake of my child, and on the other hand, my
new girl is saying she'd love to help me raise
my son in a happy and loving home. All I
know is that I have committed a lot of adultery
(02:13):
and I love it. How terrible would it be if
I don't go back a lot in this letter? Okay,
wow and wow. For some people, even though there was
no sex involved, and emotional affair is just as bad
as a physical affair to them, mental or physical betrayal
(02:36):
is betrayal period.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And you're one of those people. I get it.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
And no matter what your dad says, you have moved on.
You've moved on.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You're in a whole relationship with another woman. Now.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You do have a perfectly innocent child to think about, though,
and you got to take that into consideration. It doesn't
mean you have to go back, or it doesn't mean
you have to stay married to her. Plenty of couples
are better at co parenting than they are husband and wife.
There are plenty of them. In your case, the trust
(03:09):
has been broken here and it's hard to go back
after that. It really is, even if there is a
child involved, and a lot of people refuse to stay
married even if there is a child involved. I say
you guys should start working on what's best for the
baby at this point, because you've already stated you're not
going back. Child support and visitation seem to be the
(03:30):
next steps for you, and you need to really think
about the baby. That's the most important thing right here,
right now.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Steve, Well, the key in this whole letter is I
don't want to ever go back. All right, Well, if
that's the case, I mean, but now here's this is
a little loophole in this thing with your father and
what she did. I'm a twenty nine year old married man,
and you moved in with your dad because you found
(03:58):
out that your wife was having an emotional affair with
a man that she works with. Now, okay, bro, listen
to me. Are you saying that's what she admitted to
or did you discover this in texting? Because this emotional affair,
(04:22):
So now let me ask you something.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
You say.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I found messages between them, and I called the man.
He told me that he loves my wife and he
hates he didn't meet her before I did. You know, man,
you got a lot of nerve. Dog if you think
you're gonna say that to me and we're gonna be
(04:46):
good with it. You love my wife, man, you gonna
get to loving somebody else. And I wish I had
met her before you. Okay, cool, I rode by the job,
but I thought about what waiting for him to get
off work. But I realized I had too much to lose.
Now that's a true statement. I would have to take
(05:07):
that stamp stance on it too, because I do have
too much to lose to risk it on whooping this
dudes behind.
Speaker 5 (05:15):
I got that.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
So I think, young man, you made a smart decision,
because it's gonna accomplish nothing except get some charges pressed
on you. It's premeditated. You drove down there to the job.
You don't know how bad this thing could get. Y'all
could get in a fight. He accidentally slipped, hit his
head on the curve he passed.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Now you down you Now you're down here for manslaughter?
You know?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, And it ain't worth that. It's not worth that.
Even though even though I do understand how you feel,
I can definitely relate. And when I was twenty nine,
I would have drove down there and waited until he
got off.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
I didn't have that.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
When I was twenty nine, I ain't had it. I
got too much of loose.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
I ain't had nothing of loose.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I had none twenty nine, I had nothing, so whatever
I had T shirts and I'd have lost that because
I'd have warmed when he came downstairs.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
When we come back, man, I share with you the
actual letter and what I think you should do. And
but this is looking pretty dark though, Yeah, because I personally.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Think is more than emotional affair me personally.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Okay, all right, see, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter, subject I don't want to ever go back.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show.
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Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is I don't want to ever go back.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Well, a stir about this twenty nine year old married
man and he's had to move in with his dad
because he found out his wife was having any emotional
affair with a man that she works with.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
He found some messages and then he called a man.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
The man told him he loves my wife and he
hates it and meet her before I did.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
That's a lot of guts. So the man did what
most men would do.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
I rode by the job and I thought about waiting
for him to get off, but I realized I had
too much to lose.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Every man can understand what he's said right here.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
I do applaud the young man for practicing restraint, because
something could have happened. Really, this thing could have went sideways,
and you know, you could wind up in prison.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
So all right, bruh, and it ain't worth that.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
So instead I moved in with my dad and I
found someone to help me get over my wife.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
I have told women.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
This over and over and over. Men get over losing
you with another you. I have said this a thousand
times on this show. So he found somebody, and your
dad knows how he feels about his new girl. But
he advised me to go back home because my wife
is foremost pregnant.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Well, you know.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
You asked, you asked for Okay, she's foremost pregnant. Okay,
But but once she foremost pregnant while she was this
what you call emotional cheating, she was pregnant too. Now,
I told my dad she can be with her coworker,
(09:09):
but give me my baby when he is born. Boy, boy,
listen to me that that's not fitna happen. That ain't nobody.
Ain't nobody gonna take the baby from a mother because
she had an emotional little fac while y'all man son, sir, listen, man,
let's take this off the table.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I told my dad that he can be with the man,
and you know she could be with her coworker, but
give me my baby when he's born.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Brother, brother, stop that my baby stuff?
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Do you you do understand she's manufacturing this child right now.
The mother has dips. Get this notion out of your head.
Give me my baby. My dad pushed me to go
to counseling and work on my marriage. I was in
there thinking about my new girl. Most of the time.
I had a moment of weakness. I only counselor. I
was ready to go back. I told my wife therapist,
(10:03):
I moved back home so we could work.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
On our marriage. I lie, Well, let me ask you something.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
While y'all been going to therapy and working on your marriage,
is she still talking to the coworker? Is she still
going to work because you line And she could be
lying too, because as she begged you to come back home,
as she asked you for forgiveness, I'm not reading that
in this letter.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
But I don't want to go back now.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
I'm not saying that I think the grass is green
on the other side, but I don't want to go
back to the dead grass that I'm int whoa young fella.
I gotta give you something on that one, because I
ain't heard that one before.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
I didn't climb the.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Fist to a whole lot of times. I wish I
could have used that in court on my last one.
I wish I had known that one.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Now.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
It is it is when you talk about somebody, I'm
ext one, do hellsome dollarge. The only issue is that
she's pregnant. I got my dad in one end saying
I have to go back and give another try for
the sake of my child. On the other hand, my
new girl is saying she would love to help me
raise my son in a happy, loving home.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
She crazy too, You crazy.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
If you think this woman is fit to give you
you old baby as you put it, and for this
girl to tell you she'll be more than happy to
raise your son in a happy and loving home.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Boy, bye, let's scrap that idea.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Let's get that off the table, because the woman your
wife has done nothing whether the court's gonna remove that child.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
So let's you so far from this man now.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
All I know is that I have committed a lot
of adultery and I love it.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Boy, bull to his listen to me.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
This is the first class ticket to hell. You can't
just say the statement you want to make. All I
know is I've committed a lot of adultry and I
love it. I know, son, I know, I know. I
know what you're saying. But don't say that no more.
Don't say that no more. That's one of the commandments, homie.
(12:27):
That ain't the one you need to be bragging about.
There's ten commandments.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
It's ten.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
You the locked in on one and I love it.
Hold up, dog, just pull up on that a little
bit okay, how terrible would it be if I don't
go back? It's going to be terrible if you don't
go back. The child won't get to grow up in
a family with the trust being broken. How is the
(12:54):
love holding up? See, that's the only question and only
you can answer that. Women are asked to forgive me
all the time. It's not normally where we have to
forgive the woman. When women do stuff like that, it's
for a reason. In the counseling sessions, have you all
talked about the reasons that made her do it? Was
(13:16):
she empty somewhere? The child would be without a two
family home, which is important today, so you can you
can work it out. Work it out. If it was
Jesse emotional, then find out what she's lacking and fulfill
the knees and.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Do your job.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You can comment on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook. Yeah,
also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show