I Feel Like I'm In A 3-Way Love Affair - 02.18.25

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVIFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
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it could be yours, right it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Buckle up and hold on type. We got it for
you here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject. I feel like I'm in a
three way love affair Stephen Shirley, Good morning. My fiance
and his baby mama talk and text message more than
I am comfortable with. He claims it is for their
two children, but I see where she's crossed the line.
Bunches of times she sends selfies to my fiance with

(00:45):
a KISSI face emoji every time, and she recently and
recently she sent him pictures of her liposuction and breastlift
with a kissy face emoji. He excuses everything she does
because she also sends pictures of the kids. Even with
her new body, she still cannot get a man of
her own. I told my man to tell her to

(01:07):
stop sending him in appropriate text but he's scared to
make her mad and risk not being in his kids' lives.
I don't see how that will happen since they're with
us eighty five percent of the time. I told him
that he must like the pictures because there is no
way that he can't tell her to stop sending them.
I said something to her last year, and she got

(01:29):
mad at him and took him back to court. The
judge cided with her and increased my fiance's child support
payments or our child support payments, because I have to
help him pay it every month. As a family, we
cannot keep paying for her to have surgery. Yesterday, I
went off on him after she sent him a picture
of her new braces. He got so mad that he

(01:51):
said he doesn't want any more children for a while.
W I'm marrying him with the expectation of starting a
family with him. I'm think it's time to walk away
from this three way love affair. But I've invested so
much time into this relationship. Why won't he tell her
to chill? Would I be nuts to marry him and
his baby mama? I'm gonna have to say, yes, ma'am,

(02:15):
you would, because his baby mama is not going anywhere.
She has proven to you that she's vindictive. Didn't you
say she took him back to court when you said
something to her last year. She definitely doesn't want to
hear anything from you, and that's why your man is
scared to death of her. He doesn't want to have
to pay more or not be able to see his

(02:36):
kids as as simple as that. She has a power
and she knows it, and unfortunately she will continue to
hold these children over his head. By the way, isn't
this a whole lot for you? I mean you're helping
him pay his child support. His baby mama is tripping
real bad sending him suggestive photos and stuff, and now
he doesn't want any more kids, but you do. So

(03:00):
why are you putting up with all this foolishness? Is
my question to you. You are involved in some real
baby mama drama here with him and her, and you
shouldn't want any parts of that. Please believe this will
not change if you guys get married, because his baby
mama will really act a fool then, so you know

(03:20):
you have a decision to make.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
That's what I say, Steve, well.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's obvious to me that like it or not, what
you feeling is real. I feel like I'm in a
three way love affair. Well, you don't just feeling it.
That's what you're in, and it's written that way all
throughout the letter. I just don't see any redeeming qualities here.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
For you. I see a lot of benefits for him.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
You know, him and his baby mama talking text message
more than you're comfortable with.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
That's what is letter. She sends selfies with a kissy face.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Emoji every time, and then recently she sent pictures of
her LiPo suction and breastlift. Now, the only way you
could tell if either one of them has worked.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Is you got to see the lipos suction.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Area and the breastlift. Now, that skin the only way
you can show that work. Very few people can show
you it worked with a T shirt on. So now
we know what this photo was. And then you know,
you say, even with her new body, she still can't

(04:41):
get a man on her own. Now, that's because she
wants the one she had back and she don't want
you to have him. So if she had him wants
any work. She's trying to tempt him to get him.

(05:02):
That's what this is about. She wants him back, and
you've asked him to talk to her about sending these
inappropriate texts.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
He won't do it.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Because he says that will affect him being able to
see the kids. Now, you said, you don't see how
that'll happened since they with us eighty five percent of
the time. I mean, do y'all have custody other kids
of it? I mean, I don't know what to hear?

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Who got right? Eighty five percent of the time?

Speaker 3 (05:31):
A lot? That's too damn much. This ain't cop parent.
I told him that he must like the pictures because
there's no way he can't tell her to stop sending them.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
And then she said I said something to her last year.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
She got mad, took us back to court, increased his
child's support because the judge sided with her, And now
y'all got to pay more and you have to help
him make his payment. I'm like, WHOA, So now you
fit to marry a man that can take care of
his own business and you got to help him take
care of his business? What where does he work? What

(06:15):
does he do? How you ain't got enough? Why you
need help? With your child support. Yeah, ladies, come on,
I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give you my final
conclusion because the letter at the end of it says,
would I be nuts to marry him and his baby mama?

Speaker 2 (06:35):
My response to that when we come back.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
All right, Steve, excuse me, all right, we'll have part
two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes
after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject I feel like
I'm in a three way love affair. We'll get back
into it right after this. Hey, this is Shirley Strawberry.
And you know what it's like. You're driving around all

(06:58):
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(07:19):
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(07:41):
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Morano today. Ambient lighting and bows are optional features. All right, Steve,
come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter, the subject I
feel like I'm in a three way love affair.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
And you are because you're dating a man who has
two children with his baby's mama from a previous relationship
that spent eighty five percent of the time with y'all.
But she's in constant contact with him with stuff that
you say has crossed the line. Recently sent a picture
of her lipeo suction in breast lift to him with

(08:24):
kissy emoji's faces on it. What you think, of course,
he probably liked it because he liked it before it
was lifted, and life overt Chancellor. You liking it better
now could be greater you've asked him to ask her
to stop doing it. He say he's scared because it'll

(08:44):
affect him seeing the kids. But you say, you and
the kids is together eighty five percent of the time.
So I don't really know what's going on right here.
And so now when you ask him to stop sending
the pictures, she got mad, took.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Him to court.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
No, no, no, You called her one time and told her,
said something to her about it. She got mad, took
him back to court. Judge sided with him and increased
y'all's a child support. Now you mad because you have
to help him pay the child support, and you got

(09:23):
to help him pay every month. Then you say, as
a family, we cannot keep paying for her to have surgery.
Then yesterday you went off on him when she sent
a picture of her new braces.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
She live in the best she getting herself fixed up?
Support could be.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
She just asking her exit his opinion of the new
body and the new teeth. Maybe that's it. She can't
ask nobody else. She ain't got no mama. He got
so mad that he said he don't want any more children.
For a while, you said, what the hell? I married

(10:05):
him with the expectation of starting a family with him.
I'm thinking it's time to walk away from this three
way love affair. But I've invested so much time into
this relationship. Now here's what I always say to women
when they say that I've invested so much time. Okay,
all the time you've invested, this is what you have
from it. Now, let's say it's been four years. Let's

(10:30):
say you've invested four years into relationship. You got foe.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
MO, you want to dump into this because right now
the foe has gotten you this.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
So sometimes people we have to stop looking at what
time we invested because we had the time. Some of
it was good, some of us bad. You didn't you
spent time. But if you're going to look at it
as an investment, then you have to look at the ROI,
the return on your investment. And if this has been

(11:02):
your four, five, six, whatever year investment and this has
been your return on the investment, seem to me like
this is a bad investment. You know, if you want
to use you know, you know, you know financial terms,
it just seemed like you'd have made a bad investment.
So now you have to ask yourself, do you want
to keep putting money into stock that's losing, because right

(11:25):
now you losing the money, y'all send it over there.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
She got her booty fixed. She ain't got loposuction, she'd
have got a breast lift.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yes, she got braces. Next thing you know, she gonna
come in there and be lighter. You ain't even gonna
know who she is. So now, if you say, as
a family, we cannot keep paying for the surgery, you shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Now, I don't he tell her to chill. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Why would I be nuts to marry him and his
baby mama? Drummer. Well, a minister told me something I
didn't listen to, but he told it to me. He says, son,
let me tell you one thing about marriage. The only
thing that changes the day after the marriage is the

(12:25):
appearance of your left hand third finger.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
He say.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
If you saw signs before you got married, you're gonna
see them same signs.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
After you get married.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
If y'all got problems before you get married, you're gonna
have them same problems after you get married. Madge, don't
fix nothing, It just puts it into a more difficult
situation to get out of. So now, if you're mad,
then God so mad because he can't juggle his own obligations,
which he can't. He can't pay child support without your help.

(12:59):
How y'all, y'all gonna save for a house? Now, let
me explain something to you else.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
She wants children.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
When y'all go over there, this could happen. I've seen
this happen. When y'all go over there and get married
and you file joint. They gonna look at his tax return.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Oh yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
If he got more money, she can go down there
again and get some more. How y'all gonna save for
a house?

Speaker 2 (13:26):
All right?

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Thank you, Steve. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter
at Steve HARVEFM, on Instagram and on Facebook, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app
Free Never Sounded So Good. You can download it today.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior
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