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February 12, 2025 13 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more.
Please submit your Strawberry Letters Steve BARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We guide it for you. Here it is Scrawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject I get bored with men quickly.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty two year old woman,
single woman. I am afraid that I will be a
certified loaner all of my life because I get bored
with men quickly. Maybe I'm attracted to the wrong men.
So I'm writing you because it's cheaper thanotherapist. I was
dating a guy that pursued me for months. I liked

(00:47):
him a lot, but played it off so I could
be pursued. After a few dozen roses being sent to me,
I agreed to go out with him. Our first few
dates were great, but he's not big on opening doors
for me and pulling out my chair when we dined out.
He smelled good and he was nicely groomed, but he
wore sneakers with everything. He also started talking about sex

(01:09):
too soon and made jokes about my curves that were distasteful.
I guess you would say I'm a hopeless romantic, and
I've watched too many black and white movies, so I
expect to be I expect to have a love story
similar to what I see in the movies. I get
bored quickly and start to lose interest in the men
when things don't go as I had imagined. I tried

(01:31):
online dating, and recently I met a man that checked
all of the boxes. But he has a six year
old child. He has soul custody, and he is the
sweetest girl dad. Everything was going great, and his child
even went on a few dates with us. I got
baby fever really bad, and he could see. He said
he could see us having children together. I prayed that

(01:55):
I wouldn't lose interest or get bored with him, but
I did. Right out, we made love for the first time.
It was boring, and he doesn't know what he's doing.
He said he was nervous, but he's in his forties,
so he should know better. I'm still with him and
I'm bored. He knows something is wrong, but I don't
want to be honest. I'm a big part of the problem.

(02:17):
So how do I fix myself? Why do I get bored? Quickly? Well,
you told us what you don't like, but not really
what you do like. I mean, honestly, it sounds like
you're looking for a perfection from these men. Like maybe
you think what you see in the movies, these black
and white movies that you watch, maybe you think that's
real life. Well that's not real those movies. It's nothing

(02:39):
wrong with wanting a gentleman to open doors for you
and pull your chair out for you, nothing wrong with
that at all. But the guy you dated wasn't that,
and the sex talk was too soon for you. You said,
well that's who he is. You didn't like it, and
you moved on from him.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Good.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
He wasn't for you. It didn't mean he was boring necessarily,
he just wasn't your type. Second guy, nice guy, boring
in the bedroom. According to you, it wasn't your first time.
It was his first time, he said, And he said
he was nervous, which I believe because he could have
been nervous the first time. And just because someone's in
their forties doesn't mean he automatically knows how to please you.

(03:18):
These things, these things take time. You got to get
to know each other. You got to talk to each other,
communicate what you like, what you don't like. You are
half of the problem because in order for anything or
any relationship to work, you got to put in some work.
But you don't. You want everything just so, just so perfect, immediately,
and you're gone because you're bored. If it's not that

(03:41):
no one's saying you have to stay in an unfulfilling situation,
but you should give a good man a chance. That's
all I'm saying, Steve, it's.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
An interesting letter from this young lady that's thirty two
years old. So I'll try to approach this from a
dad's standpoint. And what I know about me, which is
a lot. I know a lot about men. Not that
great on women, but now I know a heck of
a lot about men. But once you get into relationship,

(04:10):
I can tell you where his head is at. You're
afraid that you will be a certified learner all of
your life because I get bored with men quickly.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
There's a huge.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
Part of your problem in that first line, I get
bored with men quickly, So guess what's gonna continue to happen.
You're gonna get bored with men quickly because you've accepted that.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
As a flaw.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
You've done nothing to change it, so you've just accepted it.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
So now here we are. Okay.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
You think it's cheaper than a therapist, I'll do what
I can do. I liked him a lot. I met
a guy pursued me for months. After a dozen roses,
he said, I agreed to go out with him.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
First dates.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Was great, but he wasn't big on opening doors pulling
our chairs when we went out. He smelled good, really groomed,
but he wore sneakers with everything that can be changed.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Some dudes don't know no better. And that's what people
do now. They were sneakers with everything that could have
been changed. So and the don't open doors and pulling
our chairs that could have been changed. I tell women
this all the time. You can train a man how
to treat you. If you go to the door and

(05:36):
you stand there in that door, then he don't see
that you've been waiting on him to open it.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
He gon. You know that's it.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
You all go out to dinner. Just stand at your chair, Marjorie,
don't open no doors. We go to dinner, Marjorie standing
in her chair. She know I'm coming, and if something
happened and throw me off, she's staying right there.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
You could have good. Did that?

Speaker 3 (05:58):
I expect to have a love story like you see
in the movies. Here we go right back again. I
get bored quickly and start to lose interest in men
with things don't go as I had imagined. Okay, you
just you keep losing me because it don't go as

(06:18):
how you would imagine.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Let me say this before we go to break.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
You have all these expectations in this letter, and I've
heard no expectations of yourself in this letter. All right, Steve,
this is a very one side of relationship you're trying
to have. I'll tell you the rest.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
They want to come back.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, hold it right there. We'll have part two
of your response coming up at twenty three minutes after
the hour today. Strawberry letter, subject, I get bored with
men quickly. We'll get back into it right after this. Hey,
this is your girl, Shirley Strawberry and According to research,
a major challenge that many employees face is the pressure

(07:01):
to hire fast. Well, if you're an employer who can relate,
Zip recruiter has figured out how to solve this very problem.
It's smart technology finds qualified candidates quickly. Zip recruiter is
the hiring side employers prefer the most based on G two.
You can invite top candidates for your job to apply.
Go to ZipRecruiter dot com slash strawberry to try it
for free. That's ZipRecruiter dot com slash strawberry. All right,

(07:25):
come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
is I get bored with men quickly.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, like I said, this is the problem in this
whole letter.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
This young lady gets bored with me and quickly, and
so all throughout the letter she meet She meets a guy.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
He was everything. He was nice, he just wasn't big
on chivalry.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
He don't pull out chairs, open doors, and he wears
he dressed nice, but he wears sneakers with everything. Those
three things you just said change. He ain't mistreating you.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
In this letter. You know, he he's not kind.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
He didn't open a door or and he didn't pull
out a chair is because chivalry has not been taught
to him, but you could teach it to him. And
the fact that he were sneakers with everything you could
have worked with that. See all these expectations in this letter.
Like I said before we went on break, the problem is,
you have no expectations of yourself. There are women who

(08:21):
have got with men who weren't complete and work and
worked on completing though, but you ain't willing to do that.
You won't miss the ready man. But you're not. I
tell you then, but you're not. I don't see you
building a man up. I don't see you getting ready
to support him. I don't see none of that. All right,

(08:43):
So that one didn't happen. Then you say he also
started talking about having sex too soon, and he made
jokes about your curves that were distastful.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Okay, all that could have been worth it anyway.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
I guess you would say I'm a hopeless romantic because
I watched a lot of black and white movies. I
expect to have a love story similar to what I
see in the movies. You know how old black and
white movies is. It don't work like that in the movies.
This is real life. You got to put in some work.
Then you go right back saying I get bored quickly,

(09:19):
and I started to lose interest in men when things
don't go as I had imagined.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
See, you gonna let your imagination mess you up for
the rest of.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Your life because the reality of it is nobody's perfect.
Everybody has to make some little adjustments, and that would
include you.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
All right.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Then you recently met this man on line and guess what.
Checked all the boxes. But he had a six year
old child, soul custody. He's the sweetest girl.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Dad.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
Everything was going great, his child even went on a
few dates with us. I got baby fever really bad,
and he said he could see us having children together. Okay,
let me ask you a question, sho. Well, she said,
I got baby fever real bad.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
That means she wanted to have a baby exactly.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Okay, cool, all right now. And he said he could
see us having children together. I prayed that I wouldn't
lose interest or get bored with him, but I did.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, let's find out why.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Right after we made love for the first time, it
was boring and he doesn't know what he's doing. Okay,
he said, he was nervous, but he's in his forties
so he should know better.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
There you go again. There you go a kid. He
was nervous, you said, but he in his forties. He
ought to know what he doing.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Well, But you got to give the man a chance anyway,
Let me eat, Okay, So now here we go. This
is another man that's slipping out perfect checked all the bloxes.
His love making is a little bit boring. And you
know what is it that these men are bored? Are
you too damn much? Which one could it be? Because

(11:05):
right now you have no criticism of yourself except you
get bored quickly. I'm still with him, and I'm bored. Okay, lady,
let the man go. Let him go, because I bet
you it's a woman out there will take all this
little bored him you're talking about and turn it into something.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
He knows something's wrong. But I don't want to be honest.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Well you're not honest in it throughout this letter, with
them or yourself.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
So how do I fix myself? Why do I get
bored quickly? Well?

Speaker 3 (11:39):
I think you get bored quickly, because number one, you
say you get bored quickly.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
You know you are as you think.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Whatever you set upon yourself in words, it's gonna manifest
itself in deeds and actions. You keep saying you bored
with me, and quickly, therefore anything that happened you cannot
justify what you said. I get bored quickly, stop saying that.
I tell you this one other time before. If you

(12:08):
keep saying I'm not a morning person every morning, you
ain't gonna be a morning person when you're gonna quit
doing that to yourself, stop saying you get bored with me,
and quickly start finding ways to stay with somebody instead
of trying to find a way to leave somebody.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
It don't take nothing for you to leave. And I
got news for you.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
The bedroom seems really important to you, So let me
intend say something to you.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Little listen, I get bored off you.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Since the bedroom seems to be so important to you,
I'm assuming you spent a lot of time working on
your expertise in that area. And because somebody else ain't
put the same amount of time and being an expert
in bed like you, now you bored with them.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
But where has that expertise in bed gotten you?

Speaker 3 (13:00):
By your damn self, that's what's done all right, I
just want to say this to you, young lady, before
you destroy another man talking about what they ain't what's
wrong with you.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
You're talking about how you fix yourself.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
You need to first of all, fix your expectations and
start putting some on yourself, because you have no expectations
on yourself. All your expectations are on these men, and
ain't none of them been able to live.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Up to it?

Speaker 3 (13:28):
All right? Checking all the block boxes said, when we
get in this bed, you boring.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and
Facebook and Steve BRBFM and check us out on the
Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app now coming
up next to his Junior and sports Talk.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning
Show
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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