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April 10, 2023 16 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a 28 year old married man. I’ve been married for two years and it’s been a rocky two years so far. Right after I married my wife, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I suspected something was going on all along and she finally did admit it to me, but said she was drunk and it only happened once. I forgave her eventually and we’re still together. After it happened, my wife said she felt terrible and she told me there was only one way to make things even..................

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, guys, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
And if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and just click submit Strawberry Letter. That's all
you have to do. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
one right here, right now. You hear that, Yeah, you

(00:22):
hear it. Buckle up and hold on type We got it.
Fire you Strawberry Letter, Thank you, Tommy. Subject. I need
my wife to reinstate my Hall pass to Stephen Shirley.
I'm a twenty eight year old married man. I've been
married for two years and it's been a rocky two
years so far. Right after I married my wife, she
cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. I suspected something

(00:45):
was going on all along, and she finally did admit
it to me, but she said she was drunk and
it only happened once. I forgave her eventually, and we're
still together. After it happened, my wife said she felt terrible,
and she told me there was only one way to
make things even. So she offered me a quote Hall pass,

(01:07):
which allowed me to have sex with one person outside
of our marriage. I didn't have to tell her who
it was or when it happened, just let her know
after I'd used my Hall pass. Once I forgave her,
I had no intentions of cheating on her, and I
let her know the proposal. The proposal was crazy. Now,

(01:27):
as time has gone by, I regret that I turned
down my Hall pass because I ran into an old
friend from high school and she looked better than she's
ever looked. She works out now, and everything was right
and tight on her body. Around the time I ran
into my old classmate, my wife and I had been
arguing a lot and it was streussful at home, so

(01:49):
I considered going to my wife to see if I
could possibly get my Hall pass reinstated. I told my
classmate everything that was going on in my head, and
she told me to think long and hard about it.
Before I asked my wife, I just want one time
with my classmate, just to see what I've been missing
all of these years. So my question to you is,

(02:10):
should I do it and hope it never comes between
my marriage, or should I request a Hall pass and
let my wife know I want to get a little
side action like she did. Okay, no and no, and
that should conclude my answer. But anyway, okay, you're you're

(02:30):
just begging, begging for trouble and asking for more problems
in your already troubled marriage. You said, you guys have
been arguing of late. The way I see it, you
have you don't really have any options here not to
use your hall pass that your wife offered to you before,
and not to tell her everything. No, don't do that,

(02:51):
all right, don't do that. You said that you forgave her.
You guys had a clean slate and everything. You just
happen to run into this temptation called your old high
school friend. And that's all it is, uh temptation. You know,
Try to fix your marriage, okay, try to fix it
even though you guys have been even though it's been

(03:11):
would you say, Steve, I'm sorry, what'd you say? Oh? Okay? Okay?
But anyway, where was it? But anyway, yeah, you know that,
don't don't take that option to go back and ask
your wife for the hall pass. I mean, you really
think after all this time, she's gonna say go ahead

(03:33):
and do it now? Just don't? I mean she might.
I don't know, that's maybe the kind of marriage you
guys have at twenty eight. But don't do that. Okay,
stay and try to fix what's wrong with your marriage
right now. Uh, your your wife cheated on you with
her ex boyfriend. She said she was drunk. You forgave her.
Please try to fix that and move on. Get this

(03:55):
girl out of your mind. If you can, don't keep
trying thinking about her, her, trying to go back doing
all of that. Please don't do that. Okay, You're gonna
cause yourself a world of problems and it's just not
worth it. It's just not worth it. Now. If you
and your wife end up getting a divorce, then you know,
maybe you want to look up your old high school friend.
But right now, I say let it go. Steve. This

(04:19):
is a good letter. This is a tough one, this
twenty eight year old young man. I'm gonna try to
talk to you like you my son, because I got
twenty eight year old boy, so I'm gonna try. But
I want you all to understand before I read this
letter and dissect it, I'm a grown man, and all
my advice is not perfect. Some of this is for comedy,

(04:43):
and some of it as well, it's just a damn letter.
He'd been married for two years, he's rocky. Right after
he got married, his wife cheated on him with her
ex boyfriend. So then he said, I suspected someone's going
on all along, and she finally admitted to me. But
she says she was drunk and it only happened once.

(05:03):
This over with. Now there's no need for no letter
because you ain't playing on quick drinking? Are you so
all this got? It was happening again? Written her? Well
you know she says she was sorry, it only happened
once she was drunk. Well, she ain't went to the alcoholics,
anonymous or nothing. So if you ain't gonna quit drinking,
this has the potential of it could happen all over again.

(05:25):
Now I'm not mad nobody because they get drunk, they
go have sexual somebody. We got to get out of
this marriage now, because last time I checked, they sell
alcohol everywhere. So now I'm married to a person that
can't passing nothing without passing out something. If you can't
pass a bar without passing out something, girl, this marriage

(05:47):
can't work. So now me and you threw anyway. I
forgave her eventually, and we're still together now. After it happened,
my wife says she felt terrible, and she told me
that the only way to make things even she offered
me a Hall Pass, which allowed me to have sex
with one person outside our marriage. I didn't have to

(06:10):
tell her who it was or when it happened, just
let her know after I had used my Hall pass. Boy,
if this wasn't an opportunity for you to capitalize and
never mentioned the damn Hall pass, right, hold on, Steve,
we'll have Yeah, We've never been offered a damn Hall pass.

(06:38):
I just got your hall in the damn Hall I
ain't have passed, all right, subject today, I need my
wife to reinstate my Hall pass. We'll be back in
twenty three minutes after the hour to get back into
it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve. Come on,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter and wrap up part two

(07:00):
of your response. Twenty year old dude man two years
been rocky, found out his wife cheated on the way
the ex boyfriend. You know, she said it only happened
once she was drunk. I don't like that excuse I
was drunk. That's why it happened, seeing us how they
continued to sell alcohol worldwide. Damn now worldwide. I don't

(07:24):
see how this can't happen again. Yeah, I don't know
where she can go. Well, ain't serving no alcohol. Rockingham,
North Carolina was a dry county, But even if you
drove ten miles, you could get drunk over there and
drive back home and screw the gas station attended. So
I'm not real secure with her, but you forgave her,

(07:46):
and so she decided to make things even to give
you a Hall pass, which allowed this dude to have
sex with one person outside their marriage. He didn't, She didn't.
He told her, you don't have to tell me who
it was or when it happened. Just let her know
after I had used my hall pass. Now, he said,

(08:07):
once I forgave her, I had no intentions or cheating
on her, and I let her know that the proposal
was crazy. I ain't gonna judge you. I think that's
a noble thing to do, young man. You want to
be in a committed marriage. Two wrongs don't make her right.
That was a wonderfully adult decision that you made, far
ahead of my years. At twenty eight I'm just gonna

(08:31):
say that stead Now, I had never heard of a
hall pass, nor has any one ever given me a
hall pack. I ain't had a girlfriend with a hall pass. Now,
not to say I wasn't out in the hall. I've
been out in the hall hall monitor stopping me everything,
Polarard's everything. But that's now, as time has gone by,

(08:54):
I regret that I turned down the hall pass because
I ran into an old friend from high school and
she looked better than she ever looked. She worked out
now and everything was right and tight on her body.
Around the time I ran into my old classmate, my
wife and I had been arguing a lot and was
strestful at home. Well, son, she she gave what what

(09:21):
what Steve? She gave you? What are you saying? She
gave your parios? Yeah? You had to pass out it anyway. Uh.
And so now I've considered going to my wife here
would let her get real damned dumb? Yeah, it's been stupid,

(09:42):
but now we're into dumbed him. So I considered going
to my wife to see if I could possibly get
my hall pass reinstated. What what? What did your dumb
ass just say? Why? What did you say? You're finding,

(10:08):
go to your wife a woman. You find to go
to a female, tell her to her proposal was crazy.
Come back after you ran up into old classmate and
you're gonna ask her to reconsider reinstate in your hall pass.
Let me ask you something, How do you imagine this

(10:30):
going down? Tell me how you introduced this concept to
your wife. Okay, Now, after you get out the hospital,
what I want you to do is I want you
to then think about hospital. Uncle Steve told your dumb
ass not to say that. Boy, you cannot go in

(10:53):
there with your stupid ass and say that. Listen to
me anyway, the original hall pass was a trap, and
you played the right thing by saying this proposal is crazy.
That was the perfect response. But all being said, if

(11:13):
you was gonna do it, you should have took your
hall pass and then just said I just told you
it was a crazy ass proposal, But I took the
pass and then you'd have been clear. But now you're
gonna go back and ask to reinstate it. Now, here's
what your dumbass did. You went back to your classmate

(11:35):
and told her what was going on in your head,
and your classmate told you to think long and hard
about it before I asked my wife. Hold on, donc
you went to the woman that you want to cheat
with and asked her that you should I ask my wife,
can I have a hall pass to cheat with you? Doc?

(11:57):
I'm make this statement right here. You ain't got no dabty. Yeah,
there's no way you have a dad. It's no way
he was raised without a father. I'm gonna just say that.
So let let Uncle Steve help you out. Hey, dog,
quit talking to your new class made potential of mistress
about your wife. That's rude. Number one. Secondly, don't go

(12:23):
inta and ask your wife to reinstate no damn hall pass. Now,
Shirley said, get the girl out your mind? That's impossible.
How do you get temptation that? Surely you can't try
to get somebody out your mind. That ain't how it worked,
because you can't control your mind with what comes in it.

(12:43):
You control how you process it, but you can't stop
the sin and the temptation from it in your mind. Here,
twenty eight years old, here in trouble, he in sleep
with this girl. I didn't slept with it. I ain't
all right. Listen, We're gonna come back with part three

(13:06):
of this Strawberry letter today. It's a good one, subject
I need my wife to reinstate my hall pass. We'll
be back right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve.
You had part three of today's Strawberry Letters the subject
I need my wife to reinstate my hall pass. Let's RECAPU.
Surely this letter was a twenty eight year old dude
that was married. His wife cheated on him. He forgave oh,

(13:29):
but she felt bad about it and so said to
even it up. She gave a dude the hall pass.
He told her he wasn't interested on a hall pass.
He thought that proposal was crazy because he didn't want
to cheat on his wife. Yeah, so then he regretted.
He turned it down because he ran up into an
old friend from high school and she was looking better

(13:51):
than ever. She worked out now everything was right and
tight on her body. And around the time that he
ran up into him and his girl had been and
the Lodden stressful at home. So here was his dilemma.
I've considered going to my wife to see if I
could possibly get my hall pass reinstated. Boy anthy what?

(14:17):
And I told him before the break you cannot do that.
You cannot do that. But he didn't. Got dumber, he said,
and I told my classmaker, the woman that he wanted
to sleep with it. He told his classmate the chick
that he ran up and do with the banging body.
That everything that was going on in my head. And
she told me to think long and hard about it

(14:38):
before I asked my wife. Hay food, hay food. You
gonna go to your wife and ask her cause she
reinstate the hall pass. And you didn't ask the girl,
the potential mistress that you gonna sleep with, what her
opinion is. And she tells you to think long and

(14:58):
hard about it. So my question to you is should
I do it? Now? You cannot discuss your wife with
a chick that you're talking to on the side. That's
how all the fast start. You don't ever listen to me,
don't ever talk about your wife to another human being.

(15:20):
Your wife is off limit to the opinion of other people. Now, dog,
if you go to your baring gonna man my girl
at the house tripping, that's one thing she don't go
to no woman. Yeah, and talk about your wife to
a woman, are you dog that you're breaking the Rule's son.
Then you stop this now. Shirley said, get this out
your mind. That's not gonna happen. We're gonna have it's

(15:44):
gonna Happenna. That's he got another problem. It's just how
he gonna play this because he fitted all set with
this girl, Sheley. It don't matter what the hell we say.
He gonna he self control. We got a Trollly your
comments on today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM

(16:04):
and check out the Strawberry Letter. We have control and
he don't have control. He twenty eight with James. You're
listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show
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Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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